Unpleasant Discoveries And Impossible Situations

I hate waking up at gunpoint.

Admittedly this has happened many times in my life and it is not a surprise given my career and lifestyle choices, but I hate it every time. This however is especially bad.

I wake to the feel of cold metal jabbing me in the gut and the unmistakable smell of gun oil, looking up and seeing the deranged eyes of the man who's holding it I know this was going to be a disaster.

I silently remove myself from her tangled half naked embrace, wishing she had worn a night gown to bed last night - she looks terribly cute in only a pair of blue silk panties, but it is not helping the situation any.

I watch him watching her. He can't seem to keep his eyes from scanning every inch of her flesh. Memorizing it. I see pain, anger, lust and confusion war for dominance as he drinks in the sight of his beautiful partner. Please Scully, Please Please Please don't wake up..

We watch her together.

Her lover and her captor.

Though at this moment neither of us are sure of which title should go to whom.

I've loved her and been her lover for months now. She did not do this voluntarily at first, forcing Scully in to my bed began as just another assignment. So how did my victim and captive become my lover and captor? I still lay awake nights trying to figure that one out. I've also spent many nights trying to decipher her feelings for me, hasn't done me a hell of a lot of good either. She is indeed 'Enigmatic' especially when it comes to her loves and lovers.

I pretty sure she still loves him. Even when she's screaming my name in the height of ecstasy he's always there. It's about time he showed up in person as well.

I'm surprised he had the restraint to wake me relatively gently, motioning for me to disentangle myself from her with his gun. I half expected him to shoot me right there in her arms or start crying and screaming at us.

Though to say he is handling this well would be an over statement - a big one. There is a now a quiet deadly rage in his eyes, which chills my killers' soul as surely as her kisses warmed it.

I rise and step away from the bed, he stays by her side gazing at her as she sleeps blissfully unaware. He traces the gun along her jaw line and I watch horrified as I she unconsciously senses the caress and smiles in her sleep, rubbing against it as she would a lovers hand - courting her own destruction. My breath catches and I'm paralyzed with fear as I realize the crazy son of a bitch might actually be able to pull the trigger after seeing her loving reaction to his gun. Knowing she thinks it's me.

I start to breathe again as he breaks away from her and gestures to the living room.

I walk through the apartment giving a silent prayer to whatever deity feels fit to listen that she'll stay asleep. Because as much as I adore her I cannot be burdened by her need to protect Mulder right now. Not if there's a chance in hell of my talking her way out of this - and perhaps mine as well.

Fortunately I know he will want us to have a 'Man to Man' chat before he faces her, or perhaps 'Man to Rat' chat would be more appropriate. Guess what Mulder, this rat has what you want most - again.

As I sit on the couch I'm glad I put on a pair of boxers before crashing tonight cause Mulder looks offended at my current state but show's no willingness to let me get dressed. Once we are on opposite corners of the room he finally speaks.

"You are so lucky. If she wasn't asleep I'd shoot your sorry rat ass right now."

Jealous bastard. There's no being lucky in this situation unless you're the one with the gun. Mine - sad to say is still in the kitchen. Stripping in a hurry for sex against the kitchen table seemed like a good idea at the time, but leaving my gun there in hindsight is an unforgivable error.

"How long?" His question snaps me out my self-flagellation. It also needs so elaboration. I decide a snide comment about size is the last thing my doctor would recommend. Especially considering whom my doctor of choice is.

"A few months. When did you know?"

"Tonight. I suspected something was amiss a while ago, she's been acting different. But this.. She never ceases to amaze me." He smiles to himself with an amused hurt and mutters "Always keeps me guessing." His eyes harden and focus on me once more. "Why? How did it start?"

Now it is time for me to do what I do best. Tell Mulder the selective truth till he's too upset to think straight. I've used this technique before. It works every time.

Mulder has some serious anger issues to work through and sooner or later his anger makes him sloppy. I can at that escape and Scully, Well. she will have him if that's what she wants. I suspect seeing us together gave him an instant hard on. The Pervert! Now that she has fallen off the goddamn pedestal he has kept her on for so long. He'll allow himself to have her. I don't want it to happen but hopefully once I'm done the decision will be up to her and all three of us will be in tact. Physically anyway.

"The Truth Mulder? You're not going to like it."

"Brilliant deduction Krycek." He sneers.

"You have to hear me through - no killing me or shooting a kneecap before I'm finished"

"Why not" There is no hint of irony or humor. He knows this is a very real possibility.

"Because you'll wake her and there's no way she'll allow you to hear all of this."

He nods imperceptibly so I begin.

"I was given an assignment 3 months ago. You had made peace with you sisters' disappearance and they no longer had a wild card to play, a name to make you drop everything without question and go running. I was sent to give you a new quest. A new anger and self hatered for being unable to stop what happened to those closest to you."

"They sent you to kill her?"

"No, my specific instructions were to brutally rape her. As much humiliation as possible. To cut and bruise in places where no one would be able to see the next day. I don't suppose you even noticed the way she winced every time she sat down or leaned over after Valentines Day weekend did you?"

He cringes and I can see the effort it takes to let me continue.

"Yes Mulder that's right Valentines Day. Those bastards have a sick sense of humor sometimes. Or perhaps it was because they knew she wouldn't have plans."

His finger trembles on the trigger but I know he won't do it, not until he hears it all.

"Anyway that night I set it all up. The plan was for me to do it, then threaten to call and have you come over. Then she would get the choice of being raped again while you watched or seeing you violated instead."

He cannot suppress a shudder of horror.

"In exchange for doing neither of those things she would agree leave you and the x-files. She would go thinking she had saved you from irreparable mental harm.

What she would not know was that the first rape was taped. That tape would be sent to you after she left and BANG! Mulder has an entirely new reason to hate himself. You would assume she left because of this last violation you did not know of and could not stop, and Fox Mulder has his futile quest again."

"So 'Avenge Scully' was to be the next tool in the Jerk-Mulder-Around game?"

"Yes. That was the only reason. The fact that they were getting rid of the agent giving validity to the x-files instead of destroying them was an added bonus."

"So how did the plan go from that, to this?" He gestures to my half clothed self and her bedroom glaring disgustedly. "Couldn't get it up or what?"

"Quite the opposite in fact"

The glare intensifies.

"I may be a trained killer and adept liar Mulder, but rape was never part of the deal, nor was it something I ever imagined myself capable of. As I attacked her I hated my body for the fact that it would perform under those circumstances. Despite the terror in her eyes as I handcuffed her to the bed. Or the tears which she could not keep from falling down her cheeks as she refused to scream when I cut and ripped off her clothes.

I wished she wasn't beautiful then Mulder, I felt her skin against mine and I hated how good it felt. She tried arching away as I slammed in to her, so soft and tight. She bit her lip until it bled to keep from making any noise to betray the fear I felt in her trembling body. Even with out any preparation at all she feet like warm satin. Perhaps she had been dreaming of you?"

At this point I'm adding details he doesn't need to know just to make him madder. Mulder is physically trembling now from the restraint it takes to keep from pulling the trigger. I have a suspicion as to where that gun is pointed. I also notice he has gotten hard. Like I thought before - a perverted bastard. " She felt good Mulder but I knew she hadn't done this for far too long. Too tight. Almost virginal. She hated every moment. I fucked her against her will Mulder, I did it and I hated the enjoyment I got from her pain.

Then something remarkable happened Mulder. She was looking at me and suddenly smiled the saddest, sweetest smile I've ever seen. It was as if she saw all of the regret and self-hatred and sorrow in me. She is such a remarkable woman, a healer in every sense. Do you know what she did? She tried to soothe me. Can you imagine that?

She said 'You hate this too don't you?' And right then and there with me still unwelcome inside her, she forgave me. Even as I was brutally slamming inside her she whispered absolutions - That this was only the fault of those that ordered it. That I was just a tool and it was not my fault, If it were not me it would have been someone else. That she didn't hate me anymore and hoped that I wouldn't hate myself once this was over. I couldn't help crying then. Letting the sorrow for what I has doing and what I had become take over. I pulled out of her and just cried like a baby on her stomach as my amazing captive comforted me as I wept.

After a moment I uncuffed her, explained the situation and told her that she needed to leave. There was enough footage on the beginning of the tape to graphically show what had happened. But no, She wouldn't do it. She wouldn't leave you!"

I notice my voice has risen. I once again recall with bitterness how she refused to run away with me that first night. I must remember to keep my voice down least she wake. Still it galls me though. If it hadn't been for her attachment to him I think she would have.

"So why are you still here in her bed?" The rage at her has diminished, good that leaves me to save my own skin. And I was never too worried about that anyway. Mulder is good at hurting those he loves. His ability to kill those who deserve it leaves much to be desired. I could teach him a lesson or two in that area.

"She needed protection. I offered it to her - for a price. She exchanged her body for your soul. We both knew you couldn't handle seeing the tape. She became my paramour and the consortium bastards left you both alone. The new arrangement between Scully and I was their new tool if they ever needed one. It was the best deal I could offer her. You never saw the tape and she stayed with you."

He drops his head in defeat and I'm trying to figure the best way to do a tackle and disarm maneuver when a third voice interrupts us.

"It seemed like the best solution to an impossible situation." We both turn to her in surprise "Let him go Mulder. We need to talk."

"Scully" his voice is barely a whisper "How could you? For months with out telling me?"

"Let him go Mulder. This has nothing to do with Alex."

I try not to be hurt by this, my only consolation is the way he flinched when she used my first name.

"No after what he's done -"

She throws me my clothes and I put them on in record time.

"Mulder you're not going to shoot him and I cannot have this discussion unless we're alone."

She steps between us and again I admire her courage. He is still dangerously mad. She turns to me and silently pleads for my cooperation. I can not deny her anything. I put on my jacket an exit through the window. However I climb to the fire escape above hers and listen through the still open window. I need to know how this will end. For all of us.

So what do you think? Is Krycek lying and this is the next part of the 'Wanting' series? Is he being straight with Mulder (ha ha - sorry slashers - bad pun was not originally intended) and this is an entirely new story?

Hell even I'm not completely sure - write me and let me know which way you'd like the puppet's to be dangled....

I must blame this one on Satina - Thanks so much for all of her wonderful support and help at making me more depraved.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read; any & all feedback/suggestions would be treasured.