Working Out The Kinks 2:
Krycek's Revenge

I get about a mile down the mountain when it occurs to me how stupid I am. That's *my* fucking cabin they're staying in up there! Why the fuck am I trudging around in a goddamned blizzard dressed in Mulder's parka, toting Ritz and Cheese Whiz in a makeshift pack made from a pillow case?

Because I bolted, that's why.

I could have gotten free just about any time I wanted during the whole thing. There were plenty of vulnerable moments...and I wasn't the only one having them. But they weren't hurting me, and things were just getting more and more interesting, so I decided to stick around and see what happened.

I'll admit, I almost freaked when Scully cut off my jeans. Jesus Christ that woman's good with a sharp edge. I'm getting hard again just thinking about it.

And Mulder. He orchestrated the whole thing. I heard him, arguing with her on the other side of the door. I could have run then, but curiosity outweighed self-preservation after I heard all the moaning and thudding against the door. I wasn't sure if he wanted to torture me or fuck me, but with all that moaning going on, whatever it was was getting him very hot. And that's worth sticking around for.

Like I said, if things got bad I knew I could slip out of the tape and the cuffs the second their backs were turned.

But things didn't get bad. They got really, really good.

Then things got...difficult. The questions started, and with the taste of their combined cum on my lips, my sex-addled brain actually told the fucking truth.

Can you believe that?

So now Scully knows I love that sonofabitch. But I believe her, too, when she promises she will not tell him my secret.

She holds my life...my heart in her hands. I don't like that. In fact, truth be told, as I turn around and start climbing back up the mountain, I really fucking hate that.

I wonder if they got the damned heat register fixed. I hope so. Exertion like that I have in mind is just begging for heat exhaustion and wouldn't *that* put a kink in my plans.

I make myself comfortable in the small basement bedroom and listen to them through the vents in the floor. Knowing the plans of this house like the back of my hand, I am the only one that knows of this nice little hideaway beneath the floor.

I'm just waiting for them to separate. I don't care who I get first. There are two beds, after all. Plenty of room for both of them.

I hear Mulder get up and tromp up the stairs. Scully's creaks tell me she is headed to the kitchen.

Hungry, Scully? I can help you with that. I pick up my gun and make my way up the back stairs. She doesn't even know about those. They lead right into the pantry. Too perfect.

I hear her digging through the fridge as I peek through the crack in the slightly open pantry door. She's squatting there, freshly scrubbed and dressed in a white tank and boxers. She grabs a soda can and runs it along her forehead and neck. Still fucking hot. Guess Mulder's no good as a fix-it man. I'll see what I can do...after. I push open the door and as she turns at the sound, I throw my one arm up around her, pinning her arms to her sides with the barrel of my gun pointed at the bottom of her jaw.

"Sshhhhhh...you know I don't want to hurt you, Scully." I can't help myself. I lick a tiny bead of sweat as it makes its way down her neck. She shudders and swallows.

"Alex." It almost sounds relieved. "What do you want?"

Nice. Use the first name to catch me off-guard. I'll admit, it's very nice to hear it rolling from between those movie-star lips. I laugh into her ear quietly and love the way her nipples tighten against my arm.

"Revenge." I bite her earlobe and a tiny moan escapes her. She wouldn't let herself do that unless she really knew I wasn't going to hurt her. I'm glad she trusts me. Of course, that doesn't mean I'm going to go easy on her. What fun would that be?

I start to walk with her to the door, hurrying to get her to the bedroom before Mulder comes back downstairs. I can hear water running, though, so my guess is he's taking a shower up there. Perfect. We make our way across the living room, and she's stumbling, but not struggling. I think she wants this. Wants me. Maybe wants some sort of redemption. Well I'm down with that. I can understand it. I know how good it felt to be the hapless victim for once, in a situation where I knew I wouldn't be truly harmed. Bad Mulder and Bad Scully are better than any penance, let me tell you. Wonder if they'll feel that way about Bad Alex?

We go through the door now and I'm surprised to see that she hasn't made up my bed. My bed. I think of it as that now. But I think it's going to be Scully's bed now. And what do you know? There's the duct tape sitting on the table, pretty as you please. Oh you naughty, naughty agents. Are you gonna get it.

I throw her onto the bed and level my gun at her chest. "Lay down."

I watch her chest rise and fall as she looks around the room a moment, then seeing no way out, stretches out on her back, hands down at her sides, legs pressed together. I laugh.

"Arms over your head. Grab a comfortable spot, Scully, 'cuz you're going to be there awhile." She gulps and reaches over her head weakly, feeling for a good hold. It's more than they gave me. And she knows it. That may be why she isn't resisting me...yet. I grab the tape around my prosthetic hand, using it as a spool. I bring it up and look her over, head to toe.

"Comfy?"

She just looks at me, but doesn't readjust her hands. So you wanna play it like that, do you Scully? Fine with me. Pretend you don't want this. Don't *love* this. When I get my hand between your legs I'll know differently. I feel my cock surge at the thought, and at that moment, the water upstairs shuts off. I only have a few more moments. Moving quickly, I grab the tape end and pull off a long strip, then use my teeth to tear it. I lean over her and sloppily but thoroughly wind the long, sticky tape over and around and around her slender wrists and the slats of the headboard. She's not going anywhere. And I notice, that even though I had to put the gun down to secure her hands, that she didn't try to. I stand up and survey my work.

Her breasts push up against the cotton of the thin little tank and I can see the dark pink of her nipples. The line of her arms extended over her head creates a graceful image as she struggles not to rub her thighs together. Yeah, you know what's next. I'm not done with you. How does it feel to be made a sex toy, Scully?

"Spread your legs."

I feel her gasp in my crotch. "Alex..." Just that, and she does it, slowly, trembling, fighting against her own will. I rip off more tape and quickly secure both ankles, leaving her spread wide with long pieces of tape extended from her short, strong legs to the bedposts, holding them open. I can see up her shorts legs and she's not wearing any panties. Her pussy lips must even be spread, because I can smell her now. I bend down and take a deep inhalation just inches from her crotch and sigh heavily. She shudders.

God this is going to be good. I'm aching.

Now I just have to subdue Mulder. We'll see if he's as eager to cooperate as my first captive here. No time to wonder as I hear his quiet, shoeless steps down the stairs. I wait beside the bed. Scully watches me and listens, too.

"Scully?" He's stopped in the middle of the living room now and he's calling for her. I bend down and whisper in her ear, "Tell him you're in here, Scully. Keep it casual. It'll go easier for him if he's not ready for me." I kiss her shoulder and pull myself back up to a standing position, weapon ready.

"In here," she says, sounding like she's digging through her toiletries looking for an extra toothbrush. I smile. Good girl. I think she knows I won't really hurt him...too much.

We can both feel him approach the door and I slide over to hide behind it. It comes swinging open and he steps into the room, rubbing his head with a towel. I let him spot her and watch his mouth drop open. "What the..." I kick the door shut and use my gun arm to shove him face down on his own bed, landing on top of him, tape in hand.

"Fuck!" He's slippery and strong, clad only in a pair of boxers which are clinging to his dewy skin. It's like riding a mechanical bull, with perks.

"Yee haw, Mulder! Go ahead and struggle. I could stand to do this for awhile." I reach back, steadying myself with my prosthetic hand against his back, and slap his ass, hard.

"You little prick!" He tries to roll me off and nearly succeeds. I appreciate the long, strong line of his writhing torso for a moment then realize that he just might become a threat if I allow him to get face-up.

"Sorry Scully." I bring my hand down hard on his trapezius muscle, immobilizing him with pain for a moment. I press my gun barrel into his ear. "Hold still, Mulder. I really don't want to hurt you." He's still now, breathing hard and no longer trying to raise himself up on his arms. I lie down on him full- length, my legs on the outside of his, and inhale his clean, sweet smell. I lick up the side of his clenched jaw muscle and feel it twitch beneath my tongue.

"Good. I don't want to hurt her, either, Mulder, but I will if that's what it takes to get you to do what I say." It's not really true, and I know it's completely unnecessary, as just the threat will be enough to tame him.

"No, don't hurt her, Krycek," he says, going completely boneless underneath me. He really does love her. I can understand that. She's more of a woman...a person, than I'd ever given her credit for. I owe her for keeping my secret. And for giving me food and water. I still remember her feeding me with little trembling hands. She didn't have to do that. She could have let me stay thirsty and hungry.

But I owe her for something else, too, and time's a wastin'. I sit up, getting comfortable on his gorgeous round ass cheeks, and push the tip of the gun into the base of his skull.

"Hands behind you, Mulder. Now. Don't fuck with me." I gotta grin a little at that one. Scully sees it and her eyebrow really wants to go up, I can see it, but she just stares at me.

His wrists come together just in front of my crotch in the classic handcuff position. I smile for real now, and Scully sees that too. She looks away at the window a moment, but can't bear not to watch. I pause just a moment, my hands on Mulder's, and wait for her to turn back. She does, and I give her a wink and lick my lips slowly. Her eyes widen but she says nothing...and she doesn't look away again. Her chest is heaving, faster now.

I lean forward and use my knee to hold his hands down while I tear off another long strip of silver tape. He squirms a little, probably in reaction to the pain, but makes no real attempt to escape. I quickly wrap the tape around and around his wrists and then up between, creating my own sticky, silver shackles. When his arms are nicely immobile, I bend down and place a kiss in the center of his back and he jerks beneath me, his muscles tensing for a moment, then relaxing. I climb off him and make my way to the spot between the beds where Mulder's head is hanging off the edge.

"Sit up, Mulder. You look like a slut." I smirk as he scowls but moves to comply, rolling awkwardly, curling his legs in toward his belly, then rocking until he gets his knees underneath himself and raises up, his abs contracting as he uses them to steady himself on his knees. His glare is pure fire. It burns me with its violent intentions. But he keeps his mouth shut.

"Nice show. Don't you think so, Scully?" I move to the side so they can see each other and their eyes meet. I see Mulder's boxers twitch and I can almost see Scully's juices drool out through those widely spread cherry-red lips. It's a sight I've seen before, so it's easy to imagine.

"Fucker." Mulder speaks. A man of few words, but they usually have something to do with how much he doesn't like me. I frown and try not to take it personally.

"How would you know, Mulder? You've never experienced that particular pleasure from me." I look him over from eyes to crotch and back and run my tongue around my open mouth. "Now 'cocksucker' I could understand." I level my gaze at him and feel myself harden, remembering his dick in my mouth. I think I'm drooling. He swallows and says nothing, but his cock is talking as it pushes his boxers up and away from his body in a mini-tent of white cotton. "Yeah, you know what a goooood little cocksucker I am, don't you, Mulder?" I say, looking directly at his crotch now. It rises under my stare and I feel my jeans become entirely too tight for my own needs.

I hear rapid breathing from not only in front of me but also behind and I turn and look at Scully. Her mouth is partly open and drawing shallow, shaky breaths. "You'll get yours, Red," I promise, giving her crotch a hungry look, grinning delightedly at the way her hips rise just a little off the bed.

"But I wonder, Mulder...what kind of a cocksucker are you?" I stroke my erection through my jeans with the barrel of my gun and the pleasure is like pain, it's so sharp. I gasp, in spite of myself, and hear it echoed quietly by the man kneeling in front of me. "I'll bet you're not as good as I am, Mulder. I'll bet you haven't had nearly as many cocks shoved down your unwilling throat as I have." He looks almost remorseful...almost, as I glare into his eyes, letting my arousal and the slight anger blend in a wonderful head rush. He licks his lips. "Ooooo hungry for it, are you, Mulder?" He presses his lips together in a tight line. "Eager to prove me wrong?" He stares at me, with fear and more flashing in his eyes.

"Then get the fuck over here and suck my cock." I rip open the fly of my jeans and it springs out. It dances against my belly in anticipation. I point the gun back at Mulder's face. "On the floor. Now."

"Fuck you."

OOooo...resistance. Thank you, Mulder.

"Maybe later. If you're good enough. Now do it." He glares at me, his cock pointing straight out against strained cotton, his chest rising and falling with barely-controlled breathing. He makes no move to obey. "I guess I can make her do it instead," I say, turning to give a glance to our silent witness. I hear his breath escape and turn back to see his mouth has fallen open. "Yeah, Foxy. Now get on the floor and put those lips to work or I'm gonna shove it down Scully's throat and make you watch."

He jerks a bit, startled, but moves to do it, scooting to the edge of the bed, then unfolding his legs out from under his ass and lowering them to the floor. He sinks to his knees in front of me and looks at the floor, waiting. I can hear him breathing, hard and angry. Makes my dick throb.

We're between the two beds, Scully to the right of me, Mulder in front of me. She's at eye level with both my cock and Mulder's mouth and she looks more than ready to watch the show, her body undulating just slightly on the bed, her breathing loud and shuddery.

"Look me, Mulder." My voice comes out just a bit more pleading than I would have liked, but I shake it off. His beatific face rises to meet my gaze. I take in the awesome sight before me for a moment, swooning with the feeling of power and pleasure that a subdued, nearly naked, restrained and kneeling Mulder brings. My cock twitches, jumping toward his open mouth, and I feel myself leak precum. I raise my gun to his temple, my hand shaking a little, but before I can order him to lick it off, Mulder leans forward and his long, pink tongue pushes from between those plump parted lips and laves the fluid from the head, those hazel eyes fluttering closed with a soft moan. I jerk and groan and nearly fall forward with the pleasure of it. I suddenly want nothing more than to shove between those lips and fuck and fuck and fuck his mouth until I come and come and come down his throat, gagging and choking and filling him, making him mine. I hold back. 'Live in the now. Live in the now,' I chant in my head, trying to exist only in each stroke of his fluttering, stroking tongue.

Scully whimpers beside me and I blink and look over at her to get control again. Her eyes are wide and dark and shining and she's licking and biting her lips, over and over. "Want some?" I growl, pushing between Mulder's lips while looking in her eyes. She just licks her lips again as I hear a grunt and feel the wet heat of Mulder's mouth engulf me, his tongue stroking up and down my shaft, his head moving back and forth as he struggles to maintain his balance and suck me off at the same time. I feel my head fall back on my shoulders and a low, deep groan tears out of my throat as I lower the gun and hold Mulder steady with my hand on his shoulder, thrusting deeply into his willing mouth.

"Agghh...God, Mulder...yeah..." He reacts to the praise with more suction and faster head bobbing, moaning against my cock as he works his mouth up and down it, making slurping sounds I'm going to replay over and over in my mind for the next fifty years. He was a little hard to start, but once he gets going, he's a fucking enthusiastic participant, and it just about takes my knees out. I fuck his face for a few more moments, until I'm so close that another good stroke would get me off, then I pull back and out of his mouth suddenly, holding him by the hair, the side of the gun held between my hand and his head.

"Wha's wrong?" he gasps, looking confused and disappointed. "I do something wrong?"

"No, lover," I breathe. I'm undone by his eagerness to please. "You didn't. You did everything good. I just didn't want to come down that beautiful throat." I stroke the gun down the side of his face lovingly and he actually leans into it. That's my Mulder. Is it any wonder I'm so deeply head over heels with him? I continue stroking him and he leans forward to kiss my dick again but I pull my hips back. "No, Mulder. Save some for your girlfriend." He freezes and his eyes cut over to Scully. I can tell he's looking at her to see if she wants this, or if he should start trying to kill me now. I look, too.

Her eyes are closed, her thigh muscles flexing as her hips press up into nothing with tiny, aborted thrusts. Her nipples are hard beneath the tiny cotton tank. Yeah, I'd say she wants it. What do you think, Mulder?

I back away, then push my pants the rest of the way down my legs. I'm barefoot (the better to sneak around) so I step out of them and am naked except for my T-shirt and fake arm. I rip my shirt off over my head and toss it behind me. Mulder's eyes are wide and shining as he tries not to look me over from head to toe...and fails miserably. I'd like nothing more than to have that talented mouth of his worship me top to tail for the rest of my life, but it's someone else's turn to do their duty right now, and I've kept her waiting (and me wanting) long enough.

I turn and climb onto the bed, carefully kneeling with my legs on either side of Scully's small torso, holding my own weight with my thigh muscles. I place the gun at her temple. Safety's on, of course, and I think and hope they both know it.

"Mulder," I purr, stroking her the way I stroked him. She doesn't lean into it, but jerks to get away. She doesn't like it...love it...the way he does, and I'm sorry, but despite his animated attention to my cock, I know this will be hard for him to allow. "I'm not gonna hurt her. Unless you try something stupid." I look down into Scully's eyes and they're scared. I try to send her a reassurance with my eyes, using my finger to stroke her now instead of the gun. He'd never let me hurt you, Scully. He'd die first. You should know that. She does, I think, because she seems to relax slightly.

"I won't. Don't hurt her, Alex." Mulder's voice is soft and the sound of my name on his lips like that makes my eyes close in rapture for just a moment. It's actually better than the feeling of my cock on his lips. The thought more than disturbs me.

"Don't worry." I lay the gun down by her side and scoot up her body, my balls scraping across her silky skin, stroking over her soft breasts as I settle in over her face. She's struggling a little bit now, and her body rubs against me as she wriggles in her bonds. Delicious. "Mulder, get me that pillow, would you?" He looks at me like I'm crazy. "Yeah, I know you can't use your hands. But I also know how well you can use your mouth." I grin and his lips part as he catches my meaning. "Go ahead, get it."

I watch him turn on his knees and grab the pillow in his teeth, tugging it from his bed, then turning back around and offering it to me like a loyal dog. The submission makes me shake. I reach over and take it. "Thanks." I shove the pillow under Scully's head from behind. Then I grab onto the top of the headboard, the tip of my throbbing cock just inches from those lovely lips. "Now suck it, Scully," I breathe. "Please." I don't know why I added the 'please.' It wasn't in the plan. But I couldn't stop myself from letting her know how much I really, really want this.

Her lips immediately part to let me in and I swoon at her trust as she opens her mouth wide, letting me push into her deeply. She trusts me not to ram myself into her and fuck her throat roughly. It's damn hard not to as I feel her smaller, softer tongue begin to work on my shaft more gently than Mulder's did, her little moaning sounds making my hips jerk forward in small thrusts each time I hear them.

"Mmmm...Scully. You're good at this too, aren't you." The little whimpering moan that I hear around my flesh confirms my belief. Bad Scully likes to be praised for it. Her mouth works faster, her tongue harder, and I'm jerking against her face, using every ounce of my will not to fuck her throat.

"Ooohhh yeah...that's good, Scully." I'm finding it hard to speak, but as my words make her work harder, and I hear Mulder's panting beside me, I decide it's worth the extra effort.

"Was it this good when my tongue was in your pussy?" She whimpers and sucks hard, trying to swallow me. I barely restrain my thrusts, fucking her mouth gently. "I hope it was," I say breathlessly. "I hope I did you as well as...ohgodyeah...as you're...doing...me." I'm thrusting with each word now and she's working hard with her head, straining her little neck muscles (I should know) as she slides her mouth up and down my straining shaft.

But I don't want to come down Scully's throat, either. So just as I feel my hips jerking out of control, I use all my will to pull myself out of her mouth, leaning back on my haunches and gasping, trying to catch my breath.

Her lips are swollen and wet and she's licking them and swallowing the drool she used as lubricant to facilitate her astounding mouth-fuck of my cock. Someday I will come down that pale, lovely throat as well. I think she wants me to. Maybe he does, too. But today, I have other plans.

I look over at Mulder and his eyes are closed tight, his face squeezed into a tense mask of frustration. But I'll bet his eyes weren't closed when I was fucking Scully's face. I'll bet he watched it and loved it. I'll bet he's hard as a fucking rock right now, squirming there on his knees. He ain't seen nuthin' yet.

I scoot down Scully's body, lifting my leg to bring it back behind me and between her widely spread legs. I bring the other one over her other thigh and I'm kneeling there on my heels as if to pay homage to her body. I reach up and slide her tank top up, baring her small, beautiful breasts to my gaze and Mulder's. She jerks against me, arching into the touch against her will. My cock jumps and brushes against her cotton-covered crotch just slightly. The arousal is pain now. I won't last long. I lean back, trembling, and rest my hand on her right thigh. It's hard and twitching beneath me.

"Beautiful, aren't they, Mulder?" I sigh, and he just looks at them, then Scully's face, then mine. "Answer me, Mulder," I warn.

"Yes," he breathes, and looks back into her eyes. "They're fucking gorgeous."

Scully's eyes flutter closed and she arches up again, this time unrestrained, giving us an even better view, I reach up and use my ring finger to press in on one hard nipple, working it in circles like a clit. She moans and her head thrashes side to side. I lean over and take her other breast into my mouth, and my super sensitized cock brushes up her loose shorts leg and encounters her bare inner thigh. I gasp and grunt and struggle not to thrust against her, sucking her nipple hard. She raises her hips as high off the bed as they'll go, sliding her thigh against my aching shaft until the tip just brushes her wet sex and we both gasp. I quickly let her breast go with a wet slurp and lean back on my haunches, panting.

"Bad, bad Scully," I breathe out hoarsely. She whimpers, eyes closed, and her hips move in little short thrusts, desperate to have me back. I look over at Mulder and his eyes are black pools of rapt attention, his tongue licking that fat lower lip over and over.

"Did you know she wanted me this badly, Mulder?" I ask, letting my fingers trail over her flexed thighs, eliciting tiny whimpers. His jaw clenches but he says nothing. "Truthfully, I didn't either." I look at her, now, and she meets my eyes with a level, heated gaze of her own, a tiny, tiny smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. BAD Scully. Jesus I love her. "I didn't know how much I wanted her, either," I add, licking my lips, still staring in her eyes. They darken as I watch, and she undulates her body slowly with intention, reeling me in.

It works, and I bend down and take the waistband of her (his?) cotton boxers in my teeth, then grab them with my hand and using the force of both, rip the flimsy garment right down the middle. They split and shred against her skin. She cries out and so does Mulder, surprised with the suddenness of it. I feel myself drool again as the smell of her arousal hits me full force, my face just inches from the slick, velvety treasure I sampled earlier today. I use my teeth to pull the tattered cloth away and I spit it at Mulder, who jerks as it hits him in the chest.

I turn back to Scully and gaze down on her bared, open sex. It's wet...soaked and glistening, and I *know* Mulder can smell it, too. He doesn't have the view I do, though, of her pink-red lips spread wide, the hard muscles of her inner thighs standing out in contrast to the softness of her inner lips.

I've got to be in there *now*.

I maneuver myself over her, supporting myself on my prosthesis and hand, until the tip of my erection tickles her opening. Her lips are spread too wide to envelop me, so the entrance to her body is stretched tight and she jerks at the intense sensation. "Scuhhlee..." I whimper, unable to sound anything but desperate to be inside her. She whines, her eyes shut tight, waiting for the thrust.

I push inside her, hard but slow, and am finally buried tightly inside that gorgeous, needy, sexy body. My groan is a sob as I sink to the hilt and I'm seeing stars as I try not to come.

She starts to move against me and I'm not ready...not yet, Scully! "Nnnoo..." I grate out, gripping her hip tightly, trying to still her movements.

"YESSS!" Her growl startles me as she fights against my restraining hand and pulls her hips down, sliding down my shaft, then rams them up against me, forcing me deep inside. "UUuuh!" I gasp out helplessly, trying to stop her as she continues to use those strong thigh muscles to fuck me, her heels digging into the bed to give her leverage. I watch as she throws her head back, baring her throat and I watch it work as she starts to shudder and shake and buck against me, a low animal sound tearing out of her delicate throat as she comes below me. It's more than I can stand and I slam into her convulsing pussy, hard and fast, and shoot deeply within her. I hear my voice a sobbing groan, my body made hers for the taking, even though she's the one tied down at my mercy. I'm at yours, Scully, I think as I shudder and gasp against her. JesusFUCK I'm at yours.

She lets out little moaning pants through her nose as she catches her breath and I slide to the side to allow her to breathe easily, panting my own breath out against her neck. It takes a few moments to get my brain and mouth working again, then I blink slowly and focus.

"Fuck, Scully. Fuck." It's all I can say, and it conveys my feelings adequately. I finally remember that Mulder is there, and I look over her face and he's bent over, slumped and shuddering. Shit, is he crying? That's not the response I was going for, whether he would believe that or not. My pleasure immediately recedes and I'm no longer foggy as I pull myself up off Scully's sweaty, spent body, gently and slowly, with small kisses against her salty skin. She twitches at each one but says nothing, eyes closed, still recovering. I'm glad she can't see him. It would destroy her.

I climb off the bed and come to stand behind Mulder, who has turned toward the wall between the beds, and is bent over, breathing hard.

"Mulder..." My voice is low and careful. He jerks a bit so I know he's heard me. He doesn't rise. I feel myself squint against the unbidden pain that seeing him like this causes for me. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I know I'm in love with him. It's hard to see the one you love in pain. It's even harder when you know you caused it. I should fucking well know. GodDAMN it, I did not come here to actually hurt him. I was prepared to inflict a little physical pain, sure, but not emotional. He's had enough. I fall to my knees behind him, still inches away, afraid to touch him.

"Mulder," I try again, stronger and more urgent this time. "Listen, I'm...sorry, Mulder, I didn't know..." I trail off. How do you apologize for fucking someone's partner and lover and soulmate, when you've got her tied to the bed behind you? FUCK, this was not supposed to happen. I reach out my hand and place it on his shoulder lightly. He moans and jerks against it.

"Please, Mulder," I say, pulling back on his shoulder, imploring him to get up. "C'mon, I gotta see your face." I hate the way I've lost all control of the situation, my cocky facade crumbling at the first sign that I've hurt this man. A man I swore I'd never willfully harm again. He finally raises himself into an upright, kneeling position and I let out a relieved breath and without thinking, lean into him, grabbing him with my arm and pulling him back against me. Feeling an overwhelming compulsion, I lean my head forward and rest my lips on his neck.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," I mouth against his hot skin. I kiss him lightly, unable to stop myself, the need to comfort and touch and love this man making me totally helpless and weak. "I never want to hurt you again," I murmur, licking away the sweat on his neck and feeling him shiver against me. I'm making little grunting sounds now, hungry to kiss him and lick him and suck him, and he's tilting his head to make it easier. I want to devour him. He didn't know he was making my dreams come true when he shoved his cock down my throat. I will never get enough of kissing this man. I run my fingers over his nipples, finding them hard and responsive as his body writhes in my grasp. Then I reach down to touch his cock and am shocked to feel that his crotch is soaked where it clings to his erection.

He came. The realization makes me freeze, my hand hovering over his wet boxers.

Watching me fuck Scully, he came. Without anyone even touching him. He didn't hate it...he loved it! Was he even upset? Or was he just recovering from the orgasm, catching his breath. I'm suddenly scared, made sick by the vulnerability I've shown him, comforting a pain that may never have been there at all. I jerk my hand away, and pull back from his body, licking my lips and tasting the salt of his skin as I try to figure out a way to recover the power I surrendered just now.

"Just tell him, Alex." Her voice is quiet beside me and I turn to find her looking me straight in the eyes, her face soft and full of understanding. Of course she understands. She knows. Oh GOD I'm really not liking this now. You promised, Scully. You promised you wouldn't tell him. I try to throw her a threatening glare but she only purses her perfect lips and raises her eyebrows as if to say, 'Go on, do it, or I will.' I close my eyes as the world tilts underneath me. I suppose I've just as much as told him anyway, the way I confessed I wouldn't hurt him again. He knows I'm harmless now, so any power play I try to put into place is just a game now...a joke. We all know now who's at the mercy of whom, gun or no.

I breathe in. "I love you, Mulder." It comes out in a rush and I'm dizzy with the loss of it, the certain knowledge that it's no longer my deep, clenching secret but my open and deadly confession. Scully breathes out and I open my eyes and glance to the side. She's giving me the Scully smile. I'm helpless against it. I don't know anyone who isn't. I feel myself return it with a trembling, pained quirk of my lips. Her support makes it a tiny bit less scary.

"Mulder," she says now, to the man who has remained silent, breathing hard, inches in front of me, giving no indication of his reaction. "It's okay." It's so odd to see her taking such control of the situation, pushing us and comforting us with her hands taped above her head, her legs spread in what should be a very helpless and vulnerable position. But she's neither. She holds us both in the palm of her hand. And she knows it.

"Alex..." He speaks, and I feel my breathing stop, my heart beating painfully in my throat. I don't fear much. Not really. I can be startled, and worried, and anxious to get out of a bad situation, but real, stark terror is something I've only felt a couple of times, once in a deep, dark, hopeless place, and once on the floor of a Siberian forest. This is different. It hurts in places I didn't even know existed. Is that my heart, about to break? I didn't even know I still had one.

"I...I don't know what I feel, really," he continues, and at least it's not rejection, so although I'm not completely off the hook, I can breathe again. I bite back the pain and listen, watching his ribs expand and contract in front of me. "I know I want you," he says in a low, quiet voice, and though I of course knew that from his actions earlier today, hearing it come from his lips makes me weak. I don't need more. This is really enough. But he's still talking. "I know you're not who I thought you were, either, and I'm struggling to make sense of everything you've done, looking at it through the window of this new paradigm."

"SSssshhhh..." I find myself wanting to spare him the pain of any more confession. He's given me enough. More than enough. More than I ever let myself hope I might get from him. I reach around with my hand once again, pulling him back against me and this time he relaxes, leaning back against me, his head falling back, eyes closed, as it rests on my shoulder. I inhale deeply, high on his smell, and bend my lips to his throat once again, this time with the knowledge that he wants me. And he's not going to try to stop me. I kiss him softly...more gently than I can remember being in a long, long time. More gentle than I've ever been with a man, and gentler than I've been with all but a very few women. This is different. This is Mulder. I nudge his ear with my lips. "Do you want me to untie you?" I ask, closing my eyes, knowing I'll give him whatever he wants and being terribly scared by that sure and fatal self-awareness.

"No," he startles me by answering. "But untie Scully...please?" You don't have to plead, Mulder. I'll do anything you want. I tongue his ear and enjoy the shiver it causes. "Anything."

I mean it, Mulder. More than you'll ever know.

I rise to my feet, using the bed for support, and find Scully watching me with a trembling smile curving her lips. I bend and trace that smile with my finger and she moves her mouth in an almost-kiss against it, and a wave of weakness shakes me. I'm changed. My strength is at their whim. I could die at their hands and I can't do anything to change it.

I bend down and shuffle through the jeans in a heap on the floor, and pull out the little blade she used on me earlier. I stand up with it in my hands, remembering. She watches it carefully and I can see she's a little afraid. Oh Scully. You own me. Don't you get that? You both do.

I say nothing, letting my eyes tell her everything as I lean over her and carefully cut through the tape binding her wrists to the bed. She sighs and lets me lower them, and I stroke and massage them a little before moving to the foot of the bed, and cutting the tape securing her ankles. She bends her knees and sits up, rubbing sore muscles. There is still silver tape wrapped tightly around her wrists and ankles, but she's not secured to anything. I hand her the blade, hilt-first.

She takes it with a surprised raise of the eyebrows, then slowly and carefully begins to cut away the tape, wincing slightly as it pulls at her delicate skin. "Sorry," I murmur and she smirks.

"I'll live. But I guess it would have been easier if I'd had socks on, huh?"

I laugh, surprised, as she brings up my Houdini act. Her face goes a little serious and she glances at Mulder, kneeling quietly on the floor, head bowed again. I follow her gaze and she looks at me. "You love him," she says, matter of factly. "Now show him. He needs you to show him."

My sharp intake of breath almost obscures his and I feel the sting of very unfamiliar tears behind my eyes. Frustrated, I blink them back. I look down at the object of my obsession and I can hardly breathe, knowing he wants me to take him.

I kneel down behind him again, and thread my arm under his. "Let's get on the bed," I say, my voice failing me as I start the wheels turning on something I want more than I've ever wanted anything in my life. Silently, he lets me help him to his feet, and I press kisses into his shoulder and back as he rises, then let my arm fall loosely around his waist in a warm embrace. "I want this so bad," I murmur against his bare flesh. He answers with a moan. I know he can't tell me. That's why he wants to remain tied. He wants to pretend it's all me. And that's fine, because I know he wants me. And I want to make it so good for him that next time, he'll say it.

I help him strip off his clinging shorts and get on the bed, and stroke his body as it stretches out, facedown. He turns his head away from me to the side and his eyes are closed. I stand there, breathing him in, paralyzed by his beauty and the gift of his desire. I hear a sigh behind me and turn to find Scully on her side, legs curled up, her face open and soft and encouraging. She nods. I sigh my silent thanks to her and turn back to Mulder.

Now that I have him where I want him, I'm so paralyzed with excitement that I don't know what to do first. I stare at his body, laid out before me like a gift from the gods. I'm not a praying man, but I give thanks to any and all who had a hand in bestowing this one. Finally, I reach out and see my own hand trembling as I touch his shoulder. He jerks. I stroke down his arm and he shivers. I'm hard again, all at once. I brush my hand down over one pale and perfect ass cheek and it twitches beneath me, clenching wonderfully. I can't help but grab it and squeeze and I'm rewarded with a little grunt that makes my dick stand taller. I slowly bend to press my lips against it, feeling just a little ridiculous at the abject worship evident in my actions. Yeah, okay, I'll admit it. I worship this man. His mind, his body and oh yeah his ass. Even his misplaced morality has me in awe most of the time. I know I'm not worthy. But I'm not missing this chance to pay homage.

The spell of my reluctance is broken as I taste his skin again. I open my mouth against him, licking and sucking the flesh of his buttock, biting and loving the little grunts I get in return. I climb up on the bed and kiss my way across his back as I lower myself on the other side, where he's facing the door. Yes, I want to see his beautiful face as I touch him, but if he turns away that's okay, too. I just need to lean on my left side so I have my one good hand free.

His eyes are closed, fluttering slightly as he feels me sink down beside him, stroking over his back and buttocks with my hand. "You don't have to look at me, Mulder," I tell him, placing a soft kiss on his cheek. At that his bottomless gaze is suddenly locked on me and we stare into one another's eyes. I feel his breath and he feels mine. I feel myself get even harder, my body seeming to absorb his power and swell with it.

"What are you doing?" he asks quietly, looking worried.

"I only have one good hand, Mulder," I say, trying to sound light. "I want to be able to use it." His eyes close a moment and I can tell this knowledge bothers him. "What, you don't think I can make do with just one?" I challenge him, quirking an eyebrow and grabbing his ass. I see his mouth turn up just a bit at the corner. I made Mulder smile. And it wasn't with the joy of seeing me suffer at his hands. I can't help how my lips curve into a full grin. My heart pains me. Is that what it feels like, happiness? I love this man. If I ever doubted it, I don't now. "I'll make it good," I promise, becoming more serious now, my voice falling into a near whisper. "So good."

His hot breath hits my face as he gasps and I see his body shudder. I want him so bad I can't breathe. Suddenly, his bonds are more of a hindrance than I want. I want to turn him over and lay him on his back and kiss him all over and then watch his face as I fuck him, deep and slow.

"Mulder," I say quietly, watching his lips move slightly as he hears me. "If I turn you on your back, will it hurt you?" He's silent a moment.

"I don't know," he finally answers. Honesty. It stuns me.

"I want to," I continue. "If it hurts, tell me, and I'll undo the bonds." I want to give him the out of remaining restrained if that's what he needs to give himself over to this. I think he might prefer the pain over the feeling of admitting he wants to touch me. I want to give him that. Whatever he wants, I want to give him.

I pull him in closer to me, grateful that this is a queen sized bed, and then carefully roll him onto his back, watching for signs of discomfort. I see some, as his expression tightens. But I think it's psychological, this distress. I'm sorry, Mulder. I'm sorry it's so hard for you to let me love you.

It hurts to see him struggle to let go, and I vow again to make it so good that he tells me he wants me again. Maybe he'll even want to touch me. He never has, except to hit me, not since we were partners, not until today, that is, when he forced me to do something I've wanted to do almost since the first day I saw him. But there was no caring in that. Nothing but domination and lust. It was still amazing and more than I ever expected, but just once I'd like him to reach out and touch my cheek or my hand with a hint of caring or concern.

Sentimental bullshit, Alex. But he's here, and he's offering his body to you, if not his heart. I suggest you quit waxing rhapsodic and take it, for god's sake.

I climb on top of him decisively and lower my mouth onto his, pressing a careful kiss against his lips. This, too, is new for us and it's headier than any orgasm as I feel his lips soft under mine.

The dizzy rush of kissing him turns into a flash of pure lightning as his mouth opens under mine and his tongue thrusts deeply into my mouth, pushing my lips apart with a deep grunt. I groan and open wide, wanting all of him in my mouth at once, sucking and stroking and fucking him with my tongue, my hand grasping at his hair, then shoulder, then chest and ribs as he presses his face up into mine and I lose myself and find the meaning of life in his kiss. This is what it's for, this life thing. To feel this...this swirling, hot, mindless explosion of shared energy and passion and heat.

I'm humping his leg now, and I feel him thrusting his hips up against mine and decide I'm really off my game here. I reach between us, never taking my mouth from his, and grab his erection. He groans loudly into my mouth and thrusts up into my hand, seeking more contact. I want to give it to him. I need to give it to him.

I slide down his body on the bed and bend over him and take him deeply into my mouth, bathing his length with my kisses, more worship for his body. His mouth opens on a gasping cry and he bucks up into my mouth. Yes, Mulder. I like this. I fucking love this, in fact, and this time it's all my idea. I slurp and hum and take him as deeply as I can, hungry and needy to feel him as completely as possible. He's murmuring something urgently now, and I pull back to hear him. Maybe I'm hurting him with my enthusiasm.

"Alex...Alex..." Oh god he's saying my name. He's saying it with that breathy, helpless, needy edge I know he didn't want to use. I take him in my mouth again and his next word has me off him in a shot.

"NO!"

"What is it Mulder? Did I hurt you? I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." I raise his hips up, taking the pressure off his wrists.

"No, doesn't hurt..." I lay him back down and look at his face.

"Then why?" Why doesn't he want me to do this? He did before...maybe he can only do it if he's forcing me. If that's the way it has to be, I'm happy to switch positions with him. I just want him. Any way I can have him.

"Don't want to come...in your mouth again," he says and his eyes are open and I see that he feels bad about what he did to me earlier. Don't! Mulder, don't you see? You saved me with your rough use of my mouth and my body. I'm redeemed now. And I'm here, and you want me, and whatever got me here can't be anything but fucking wonderful.

"Mulder, I wanted it. Don't you know I wanted it as much as you wanted me to do it? Fuck! That's all I've wanted for *years*!" Well maybe that's not *all* I've wanted, but it's definitely the first thing I think about when I see him.

"I've wanted it for years, too," he says, his voice low. "And I've wanted something else, too. That's why I made you stop."

What is it, Mulder? However you want to debauch me, use me, humiliate me, I'm yours. I've always been yours.

"What?" I'm quiet, resigned, afraid of what he might ask, but willing to do it if it makes him happy.

"Untie me." I immediately look around for the knife and see it sitting on the small table between the beds, against the wall. I pick it up and quickly turn him on his side and saw through the tape, freeing him. He'll probably want to force me now...to cuff me or hit me or tape me or otherwise take me against what he thinks is my will. I'm ready for it.

His arms swing around in front of him and he flexes them, stretching sore muscles, and I flinch but I don't lean back. If he's going to hurt me, I'm going to take it. I look down at the knife in my hand. Maybe he'd like that, too, to complete the illusion of coercion. I keep my eyes on the bed and lift my hand, offering it to him. I feel him take it and then I hear him set it on the table between us. I look up just in time to see him reaching for me, and before I know what his intention is, he pulls me down against him hard and takes my mouth in a deep, groaning kiss.

My hand is in his hair and his are grasping and scratching at my back as he kisses me deeply and I give myself to him completely, letting him have my mouth, gently stroking against his probing tongue with mine but otherwise making no attempt to control the kiss.

"Alex," he murmurs against my lips. "Can I fuck you? Please. I wanna fuck you so bad." I'm so shocked my mouth stops moving and I freeze against him. He pulls away and holds my shoulders, looking into my eyes. "If it's too much to ask, I'll understand. I know it's a lot for you to give."

The idiot. He thinks I'm against the idea. What the fuck gave him that idea? Oh, maybe it's because I'm not moving, not breathing. I let it all out in a gasping sigh, then speak.

"Fuck me, Mulder. God, yes. Fuck me." I want to say it over and over and over to make sure there is no mistake about what I want, but he seems to catch on the first time as he pulls me down on top of him then rolls over on top of me, switching our positions in a heartbeat.

His long, lean body is stretched out over mine and the heat of it burns me and takes my strength. He takes my mouth again and I open my jaw as widely as possible to submit to him in every way I can. Take me, Mulder. Hurt me, break me, use me, but please...take me. All I ever want to be again is yours.

I'm dizzy and flying in a world of Mulder's lips and tongue and hands and body and cock, as he kisses and strokes me, pulling my hair, wrenching my face into a better position to penetrate it with his tongue. His sliding his cock against mine and I'm whimpering with every move. All I can do is just hold him to me with my one good hand, afraid to let go for fear that he will disappear and I'll wake with sticky sheets.

His lust for me takes away my ability to think. His attack on my body is so much like the times he's gone out of control and hurt me, over and over, that I begin to understand and forgive each blow. Oh Mulder. Is this what each punch in the gut, each smack across the face really meant? Oh if only I had known you were caressing me, Mulder. We've wasted so much time.

His cock slides against mine and suddenly I pull him in tight and my body jolts, wracked with a climax I didn't see coming and couldn't have stopped if I'd tried. I whimper and groan and thrust against him, holding him tight against my convulsing body as it goes completely out of control. He kisses me through it and when my hips relax back down onto the bed, he breaks the kiss and looks down at me, another slight smile tugging at the corners of his swollen, wet mouth.

"You're a slut, you know that, Alex?" I think they're the most loving words I've ever heard him utter, with that low caress of a voice he uses.

"Only for you, Mulder." I look up from under lowered lashes, somewhat embarrassed but overwhelmed with the pleased expression I've put on his face. Does it make you feel good that you can make me come so easily, Mulder? Then we've got a hell of a future together if you ask me. The thought makes me more confident and the shyness leaves as I stroke my hand down his back to his ass and give it a squeeze. "Can I help it that you're so fucking hot you've got me coming in two minutes? I'm sorry...I'll work on endurance." I give him my sexiest smirk. "But don't worry, Mulder. If you want me hard again, my dick's at your command." Even as I say it, I press up into him again and feel it swell.

"Wish I'd known that before," he says, with a sexy smirk of his own. "I wouldn't have wasted all that time beating you up." His face goes a little serious as he echoes my earlier thoughts.

"Every time you touched me it was a gift," I say, unlocking yet another secret I've carried forever. What the hell. I don't want any more secrets between us, ever again.

"You're sick, you know that?" he says, his voice low but playful. He grinds his hips against me and I feel myself get harder. I sigh and blink slowly, letting the feeling of him wash over me like sunlight.

"Is that why you want to fuck me?" I challenge him, thrusting up to meet him and driving a closed-mouthed grunt from his throat. The sound becomes a dark chuckle.

"Maybe. That and you're so fucking pretty." He bites his lip after he says it, then bends in for another kiss. I'm made speechless by his compliment and my mouth sighs open to receive him. It starts out slow and gentle but deep and then as our hips both grind against one another and his hand strokes down and pinches my nipple, it turns urgent, hungry and desperate and we're grunting and trying again to devour one another's mouths. God I need this man to fuck me. I'll die if he doesn't fuck me now.

"Mulder," I say against his lips, which are mashing mine.

"Mm," he grunts, grinding into me harder.

"You gonna fuck me or what?" I grab his ass and squeeze, hard, while at the same time lifting my hips as far off the bed as I can, slamming our cocks together. I'm rock hard again and ready to come for him.

He doesn't say anything. He lifts his mouth off mine, his eyes black with intention, and his knees slide down between my widely spread thighs. He reaches down and yanks my legs up, pressing them into my chest. I grab them with my arm to hold myself open for him and he gives me a dangerous, incendiary smile. "Scully," he says, never breaking our gaze. "Got anything we can use for lubrication over there, beautiful?" He finally looks away from me and smiles at her. I look over and am wracked by a jolt of arousal as she slowly smiles and sits up, gazing intently into Mulder's eyes. As we both watch, breathless, she opens her legs and slides her hand down her stomach and between her thighs, gathering my cum and her own wet arousal from her body. She comes to the edge of the bed and then stands, hand extended palm- up, eyebrows quirked in a very self-satisfied smirk. Good fucking God, Scully. We worship you. Mulder is speechless, mouth gaping as Scully leans over and slicks up his cock with our juices. He's panting and sliding against her fist as she gets more from between her legs with the other hand and gently spreads it between my spread cheeks. Fuck, that woman is pure heat.

Mulder agrees, fucking her fist now, his eyes fluttering closed.

"Save some for me," I remind him, feeling a bit exposed with my legs up in the air. Scully laughs gently and removes her hands from both of us. She returns to the other bed, but turns away with a last smile, tucking herself into the blanket and facing the window. She's giving us this moment. I love her now, if I didn't before, and I'm scared at how much this changes me inside.

"It's all for you right now, Alex," he says and slides his cock against my balls as he reaches down with his slippery hand and strokes around my opening, firm and gentle. I just fucking want him to slam it into me, hard and fast and deep, but I also know he's bigger than I'm used to and my eagerness could get me into trouble. I grunt and move against him, letting him know I'm more than ready to feel him inside. He locks eyes with me and pushes one long, slender finger inside, slowly fucking me with it and making me whimper with need. I neeeeeeed it, Mulder. God, give it to me. He's psychic or something, because that instant, his second finger is pushed into use, and quickly a third, and they stroke in and out of me, now feeling around for something I'm half-afraid to have him find. Can I take it? That kind of pleasure at Mulder's hands? I have no more time to wonder as his fingertips brush across it and I'm jerking and moaning, the need fast becoming an aching imperative.

"Please! God! Fuck me!" If he teases me much longer I'm gonna come again, and even I can't get it up that fast a third time...well, fourth, really, if you count this morning.

"Deified for sex," he gasps, pushing the blunt end of his cock against me. "I knew I liked you." He starts to push it in and it aches in a wonderful way as I stretch and open to receive him. I grimace slightly as my tissues accommodate more than they have in a long time.

"Am I hurting you?" he gasps out, his eyes drifting open and closed.

I want to tell him yes. This. This is the pain I want from you. This is the pain I need, the pain I hoped for every time you touched me. Give me more. Hurt me, Mulder. Give it all to me.

"S'all good," I sigh instead, schooling my face to reflect the pleasure I feel, not only in my body but my mind and soul, at being completely, finally and yes even painfully possessed by this man. "More."

He moans and adjusts himself so that he can drive into me harder, deeper, and I'm continuously moaning now as he strokes that spot inside that could only have been made for just this pleasure. I'm gonna come again and I feel it's only fair to warn him this time.

"MmmmMulder..." I grate out, feeling my cock twitch. "Gonna come for you..." and he quickly reaches up and leans on one of my legs as he grabs my cock and slides his slippery hand up and down, hard and fast, the same way his cock is slamming in and out of me. That does it and my head thrashes back into the bed as I sob and cry out and shoot into his fist, which moves a bit more slowly, but steadily, milking me to the end of my climax.

"Oh god...Oh god...Oh god...Mulder..." It's all I can say though my lips want to tell him again that I love him and that my body is his, the same as my heart and mind and soul. But I don't want to make this more than it is for him and if I get too intense he might be frightened.

I look up as he lets go of my spent cock and I'm stunned as he brings his hand to his mouth and hungrily licks it clean before supporting himself again with both hands and going in for his own climax which I can tell is imminent by the way his hips are losing rhythm, now slamming into me erratically as his throat emits an ongoing low, keening moan.

"Alex...Alex...Alex.." he's chanting it as a mantra now as he fucks me and all I can do is ride it out, his thrusts slamming into me and moving my body backward across the bed. He only moves in more closely and rams in harder, his face twisted in what looks like pain. "Want you...want you...want you...love you...ALEX!" and he comes, his mouth falling open in a soundless scream as he empties himself deeply into my body, filling me and marking me as his property in a way that I know I feel and I hope he does, too.

And I heard him say it. He probably doesn't even know it himself, as he slides out of me and I lower my legs and he collapses on top of me, panting and gasping and bathing my face with his hot breath. But I heard it. And my eyes are shut tight so he can't see the tears burning in them.

"Alex..." he gasps, bringing his face close to mine. "Are you okay?"

I can't open my eyes; they're still full of tears and so I nod briskly and give him a weak smile.

"I hurt you! God, Alex, I'm sorry!" He's reaching up and stroking my face now and I feel something break inside me and I bite down hard on my lower lip as it overflows and I feel the tears squeeze out from under my tightly shut lids.

"No...no..." I can't say more or I'll let it all out and I don't think he could handle that and I don't think I could either. But he's brushing the hair off my forehead now.

"Alex...please...talk to me." His lips are soft against my cheek and it breaks me, finally, totally. My mouth opens on a sob and the tears stream down my cheeks and I raise my hand to wipe them away and cover my face, but he stops it with his own, forcing it down beside me, then brushes the tears away with his thumbs.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," he says, his own voice low and raspy, nearly cracking. I can't let him think that's what is going on here. Whatever happens...however he reacts, I have to tell him the truth now.

I open my eyes and rapidly blink the tears from them, trying to focus on his face. "I heard you," I say, the words barely more than a broken whisper. "You said..." I swallow back another sob and pull my strength from deep inside. "You said you loved me, Mulder." Before he can respond, I hurry to explain. "It's okay. I know you didn't mean it. I know people say things during sex that they don't mean and I'm fine. But hearing that...God, Mulder, I'm sorry. I just couldn't stop what it did to me." He's just staring down at me now, unreadable, and I see his mind working, trying to deal with what I told him. Don't run, my mind screams. Please, Mulder, I'll never mention it again. Please, please don't run.

He opens his mouth to speak, then shuts it again and uses his thumbs again to wipe away more tears. Then he bends in and my lips tremble as his press against them, soft, closed-mouthed and chaste. I lose my breath and open my eyes as he pulls back.

"Alex," he says, looking thoughtful. "I don't say things I don't mean." I feel my eyes narrow, unable to process what he's telling me. He looks away from me, at Scully, and once again I remember she's there, a silent witness to the whole thing. I feel my body blush with shame at my undoing.

"I had this same problem with Scully," he says in his deadpan voice, still looking at her. What the hell is he talking about? Mulder, please, make sense. You're not making sense. I hear Scully breathe out a small laugh as she turns to face us.

"Wha-?" I shake my head, uncomprehending. He turns back to me.

"I had just been pulled out of the Bermuda Triangle and was on some very heavy pain medications. I told her I loved her. She thought it was the drugs talking and blew me off. It hurt, but I knew I'd said it and that it was the truth." He looks over at her, and so do I, and her face is sorry and she chews her lip for a moment, looking down. He looks down too, sorry for making her feel sorry, then turns back to me and continues.

"And saying it then meant that someday, I'd be able to say it without the benefit of hallucinogens." The corner of his mouth turns up in a half-smile then. "And I did." He looks over at Scully and the smile curves the rest of the way across his face and his love for her shines out across the space between them. She radiates it back, and watching them smile at one another almost pulls one from me, even in my daze.

I'm beginning to get what he's saying, but at the same time that part of me that's kept me sane throughout my life by blocking out things that would make anyone crazy, is busily building up a huge resistance to my need to believe him. I watch as he turns back to face me again. His feelings play across his face like a movie, going from thoughtfulness to surprise to a kind of calm certainty.

"So..." he continues, sounding like he's explaining a case file. "I guess that means I love you, too, doesn't it?"

My mind goes blank for a minute, and I'm sure I've blown some crucial brain cells fucking Mulder, and that this is some oxygen- deprivation hallucination or some such shit.

"Yeah...makes sense," he goes on, chewing his cheek and nodding. "The incredible compulsion to touch you, the intense feeling of excitement and overwhelming emotion when I see you, the way I lose all ability to reason around you, the depth of the pain I felt when you first betrayed me...you don't feel those for someone you don't deeply care about, do you?"

I hope he's not asking me, because I've lost the capacity for speech or even thought. I think my mouth is hanging open but I can't summon enough will to close it.

"No, Mulder, you don't." Scully's voice is very 'I told you so,' and Mulder smirks at her across my chest. He's still holding himself above me on his forearms, his legs straddling my thigh, his sated cock wet and sticky against it.

"So now what?" he asks, once again returning that intense gaze to me. Uh oh. Breathing just became nearly impossible again. "Alex?" His eyebrows rise and he leans in closer. "You okay?"

I swallow hard and take a deep breath. "No."

"No?" His voice rises, perplexed, and he tilts his head. He looks so open, so boyish, so incredibly, dangerously innocent. I know he's not, of course, but I think I fear for his safety because he just confessed his love for a lying, murderous, double-crossing triple agent. Mulder, what the hell are you thinking?

"No, Mulder," I answer, feeling my fear for him infuse me with a strength I thought had left me. This isn't about how much I want his love; it's about how stupid it is for him to let himself feel it for me.

"You can't love me," I continue, in a voice that lets him know how ridiculous it sounds even being said out loud. "That's just about the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say." I raise my chin, daring him to disagree with me.

"Probably," he says, nodding again. "But what the fuck? I've got a reputation to uphold. Why start thinking rationally now?"

Scully laughs again, behind her hand, and he looks over at her and then back at me. He gives me that crooked grin that I've only seen reserved for people he really cares about...people he loves and trusts.

"You're sick. You know that?" I can't help it. I can't believe how incredibly self-destructive this man can be.

"Is that why you wanna fuck me?" he says with a leer, then bends down to stop my protests with his mouth. I forget what I was going to say and kiss him back, and I realize that if he ends every argument like this, I'm going to be losing a lot of them from now on.