Not that it mattered.
He walked in, avoiding each piece of furniture as he moved and easily found
the sofa, tucking himself into a corner.
He could have turned a light on, but he liked the darkness. It calmed him.
Almost comforted him as he waited. Besides, there was nothing there he wanted to
see. Not yet.
Mulder made his way to his apartment, looking at his watch as he trudged
heavily to the door.
"Christ."
His plane was supposed to have come in at ten, but due to heavy weather, they
hadn't even left the ground in North Carolina until after ten-thirty.
Scully had voted for staying one more night, but he'd had enough of the hick
town they'd been in for the last two days, and he wanted out.
His patience and good humor had been next to nil for the past three weeks,
and Scully couldn't help but notice it. She'd finally had enough just before
they'd left for North Carolina, and let loose on him, telling him in no kind way
to knock it the hell off. She'd had all she could take of him brooding over
the likes of Alex Krycek, and if he couldn't get over it in a big hurry and get
his mind back on his work, she was going to put in for a very long vacation
and leave his ass stuck there with all those cases they were bogged down in.
He'd sulked quietly for the next couple of days, going about his work with no
great enthusiasm, and when they'd closed the case, he'd gathered his things
and hustled the protesting woman out to the airport.
When they'd finally boarded and taken off, he sat beside his partner, sullen
and distant, wondering why he was in such a rush to leave. It wasn't as though
there was anything at home for him...
Slipping the key into the lock, Mulder opened the door and shuffled into the
dark apartment. He dropped his bag by the bedroom door and stopped. He looked
around, seeing nothing but instinct told him that he wasn't alone. Quickly, he
drew his gun and inched forward. As he moved into the living room, a
silhouetted figure came into view. Sitting motionless on the couch, the figure made no
sound.
Mulder's pounding heart began to thrash as he recognized the dark profile of
his silent visitor. Slowly, he holstered his gun and took a few steps forward.
"How long have you been here?" he asked softly, attempting to betray no
emotion.
"Don't know," came the equally soft reply. "Couple of hours, maybe."
Mulder took a seat in the chair across from the sofa. All was quiet for
several minutes, then he cleared his throat and spoke.
"How's it goin'?"
He couldn't see Alex's eyes shift in his direction, but he heard the silence
loud and clear.
"Do you have something to say to me? Or did you just miss my couch?"
More silence.
"Alex, it's late," Mulder sighed, trying to sound as blase as he could. "I'm
really not in the mood for guessing games."
"What are we going to do?"
"Do?"
"About this."
"I don't know."
"We have to do something."
"I agree," Mulder murmured. "I just don't know what."
"We have to talk."
"Okay."
"Without arguing and laying blame, and..."
"All right. Before we move this ahead, we have to lay down some ground rules,
but..." Mulder sighed heavily. "Not tonight, okay? It really is late, and I'm
beat. I think you'll agree that we should both be well rested before we start
talking."
He took Alex's silence as agreement.
"You wanna stay? We can have breakfast together. Talk all day..."
Alex closed his eyes. If he'd let his body answer for him, it'd be screaming
a definite yes. It'd been way too long since they'd been together, and he knew
sure as his name that if he stayed, they'd end up having sex. It was
impossible not to. His heart was also leaning toward a positive answer, and he had to
fight both.
"I...I don't think...it's not a good idea."
It was Mulder's turn for silence.
"We can still have breakfast. I'll come early and..."
"What are you afraid of?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why won't you stay? Afraid you'll lose your focus if we fuck?" Alex saw the
dark outline of Mulder's arms as they lifted. "I won't touch you."
Much as he was dying to.
"I can sleep on the couch," Mulder offered. "I'm used to it. You can have the
bed."
Alex shook his head. "I can't. I..."
"Okay, you can have the couch."
"No."
"You came and sat here for two hours so we could talk, and now you want to
leave?"
"But we're not going to talk tonight. You're tired. You want to go to bed,
and that's fine. I don't want to keep you up. We can talk tomorrow."
"Why can't you just stay?" Mulder asked, his tone low. "It'd make things
easier."
"I don't see how. I'll leave now and come back in the morning. What's so hard
about that?"
"It's not hard, I guess. But tell me why. The truth."
Alex looked down in the direction of his shoes.
"The...the truth is, it doesn't matter which one of us sleeps on the couch.
It might start out that way, but by morning you know damn well that we'll both
be in your bed."
"And what if we were?" Mulder asked, not bothering to deny it. "What would be
so bad about that? It's been three weeks, Alex. I'm a little tired of jerking
off; how 'bout you?"
He was. Damn, he was.
"Tell me you don't want me."
He was using that low, honeyed tone that never failed to get Alex up.
"Alex..."
Alex lowered his head, shaking it slowly.
"No. Stop. Fox, stop."
"Fine I'll stop." His tone had gone flat.
"Fox, don't," Alex pleaded softly.
"No. Stop. Don't. Is there anything I can say, Alex, that I won't get
reprimanded for? I know," Mulder said before Alex could answer. "How about,
goodnight?"
He rose stiffly from the chair.
Alex watched the dark figure retreat slowly toward the bedroom and disappear
inside. His hands curled into fists, and he leaned his head back against the
sofa cushion, sounding a frustrated sigh.
Inside the bedroom, Fox found the edge of his bed, perching on it and staring
into the blackness. He sat there for some time, listening to the almost
inaudible buzz that his alarm clock sometimes made, when another sound reached his
ears. His eyes closed against the sound of the front door being shut, and his
heart thudded heavily.
Would Alex come back in the morning?
Would you?
Darkness
by Aries
It was quiet in the apartment. Dark. Almost too dark to see.
