Part Three
The Lost Lamb
FROM 'RE-ESTABLISH CONTACT' one of my older stories:
"You..." Mac began, then choked off the rest of his curse. "You are supposed to be dead, Russian."
Alex smiled over the rim of his mug. "So were you, I hear."
He paused. "I've come to the conclusion... never to believe
someone is dead unless you've killed them yourself, then cut
their heart out...just to be sure."
Mac had to admit to a certain amount of confused amazement. His
brain seemed to working but it was like swimming through
thickened water to put any order on the thoughts he wanted to
grasp hold of. He'd expected pain, lots of it, and was surprised
to discover only a dull throbbing in his midsection. The drugs
they'd given him had to have completely shut down his nervous
system because gut shots were supposed to hurt like nothing else.
He'd seen evidence enough of that in his life. Yeah, that had to
be it. It would explain all the things he was lacking right now.
He expected anger to be pumping adrenaline through his system.
Mind-numbing fury was, after all, the last coherent memory he had
but that emotion was eluding him. Any strong emotion seemed
beyond his reach right at this moment. He also expected someone
to be hovering over him, but if they thought he was drugged
senseless that might explain why they weren't waiting at his
bedside.
It was the last that bothered him the most. Okay, maybe Alex was
distracted. He was all too aware that it didn't take much to
distract his lover and no doubt everyone was in an uproar over
what had happened. It pissed Mac off, but it was simply a cold
hard fact of life, one that he'd been learning not to resent in a
rather half successful fashion. Still, where were Li Ann and
Victor? He'd come to depend on his partners being there for him
over the last few years. It was the only constant left in his
life it seemed. Sure they had differences of opinion and more
spats than he cared to recall but Victor and Li Ann were rocks he
could cling to when things got the roughest. One or the other of
them should be looking out for him since he was flat on his back
and defenceless in this place.
Where the hell was he anyway? He should be in some kind of
hospital. Strangely enough the décor wasn't exactly what he'd
come to expect of a recovery room and he'd seen his fair share of
those too, as both a visitor and an occupant. They were usually
white enough to hurt the eyes with a rather distinct odour of
disinfectant about them. The mattress he was laying on was far
too thick and comfortable. The crisp cream coloured sheets
draping him would be impossible to clean of blood and vomit. The
modular, black lacquer furniture looked like it belonged in
trendy upscale boutique not a clinic. Okay, maybe the Romanov
ladies had laid him out in one of the lodge's bedrooms rather
than the infirmary but why wouldn't they return him to the one
he'd already been assigned.
And where were Alex, Victor and Li Ann, damn it? His thoughts
circled around yet again. He wanted his demon and his friends to
come in. They should be coddling him if he was injured. What good
was getting shot defending your lover if you didn't earn some
major fussing rights afterward. Okay, maybe not that...keep in mind
who you're dealing with here, Mac, but at least they should be
explaining what happened after he passed out.
Deciding he was on his own, at least for the moment, Mac decided
to investigate his situation a little further. His coverings were
light enough to brush back with little effort. Mindful of the IV
needle sticking in the back of his hand Mac ran his fingers
gently across the massive dressing that covered his stomach from
hips to the bottom of his ribcage. The bastard really had shot
him. He couldn't believe Mulder actually had to balls to pull the
trigger. How the hell had things gone so far so fast? The only
spot that actually felt tender to the touch was a palm-sized
patch a little towards the left side. His lower back ached dully
and his legs, when he tried to shift them, felt weaker than
cooked noodles.
That little bit of activity was enough to drop him flat on his
back again almost immediately. His body felt completely wrung
out, icy chills were crawling up his spine and his mind was
halfway suggesting he just go back to sleep and worry about
things later.
Maybe he dozed off, Mac couldn't be sure with no clock anywhere
in sight and the room completely unchanging. Well, not
completely. A glass of water now stood on the night table beside
the bed and it hadn't been there a moment ago. Okay, it was
either ghosts were haunting this place or he'd nodded off.
"Iz'anybody there?" His voice was a croak. So that's what the
water was for. His throat was creaky from disuse. How long had he
been unconscious, anyway? The offered water would help a little
but he couldn't quite bring himself to go after it. "Hello!" Mac
attempted to sit up once more without success although he did get
high enough to see his baggage piled near the doorway. "Son of a
bitch." He'd stowed everything in the drawers of the guest room
they'd given him. What could it mean that someone had gone to all
the trouble of repacking his gear and toting it along to this new
location?
"Li Ann? Victor?" He called. "Alexei?" Okay, the last request was
a bit of long shot, but it couldn't hurt to try.
When the door to his room finally opened and a rather striking
form moved to lounge in the frame Mac almost fell flat onto his
back again. His expectations shattered to a million pieces. He
closed his eyes tightly, took a deep breath then looked again,
expecting the image to change but it didn't. "What the hell are
you doing here?"
"Well hello right back at you. Like that is so flattering. Nice
to see you too." An arrogant smile punctuated the words.
The blonde's drawl tore across Mac's nervous system. Jackie
Janczyk had been the Director's rising-star when he, Li Ann and
Victor had fled from the Agency. No doubt she was still rather
high in the Director's favour. "Where exactly am I?" Mac asked in
a weary tone. At first glance the thief decided he was in deeper
trouble than he could comprehend right now. Best he get his
bearings as quickly as possible.
"Exactly?" The curvy blonde teased. "In bed, looking like death
warmed over." Jackie giggled. "In a bedroom." She posed with
every moment she made showing off her muscular body wrapped in
expensive workout clothes.
Mac closed his eyes briefly and counted to ten. "Don't fuck with
me, Jackie. I've had a really bad week. Just tell me where am I
and how the hell did I get here?" When he looked up again she had
her lips pursed and her head cocked to one side as she tried not
to laugh at him. Then again, Jackie always looked like she was
about to break into smug giggles.
"The Director says I'm not supposed to tell you where we are."
She admitted. "As to how you got here. That was simply too jazzy
for words." Jackie's eyes sparkled. "You arrived at HQ in a big
box wrapped in Christmas paper. It was all antique-y looking with
ribbon and flowers. It was like, so Martha Stewart, I nearly
puked. There was a letter but the boss didn't share what it said
with us mere mortals." Her shoulders shifted absently. "Where'd
you come from, Sweetie? Last I hear you'd ran off to play house
with Li Ann. Did she get sick of your old news lines and decide
to send you back for rewiring?" The giggle escaped. "Or did those
pretty twins finally catch up with you and the leather-boy got
out of hand?"
Mac fell backwards. "Just shut up." He requested in a gritty
tone.
"As if! You started this. I saw the dog licence you put on that
Alex guy. That man, that absolute maniac..." Jackie growled, a
seductive catlike noise. "Is wearing your badge of ownership, in
his nipple, for Christ's sake. So, what's up with that?" She
paced across the plush carpet and arrogantly dropped down on the
foot of the bed. "What the hell have you been up to?"
He shook his head gently but it didn't help to dispel the pain
that was beginning to throb just behind his brows. The Romanov
women had packed him up and mailed him to the Director as if he
were an object to be discarded when he was no longer useful. How
could Li Ann, Victor and Alex have allowed this to happen?
Shouldn't they be tearing apart heaven and earth looking for him?
Gathering all of his strength together Mac sat and dragged
himself upright by using the headboard and his IV stand as a
crutches. He ignored Jackie's wolf-whistle at his nudity and
shoved off in the direction of his piled suitcases. He was
leaving. He was going to find his friends if it killed him. He
was going to find Nicola Romanov and riddle her scrawny old frame
with bullets. All this was assuming he could manage to stay
vertical long enough to dress himself.
"The lock on the door is past your skill level. You'd need
tools." Jackie provided negligently. "And the windows are bullet-
proof glass so you're not gonna be breaking them, though being
thirty odd floors off the ground it wouldn't do you much good
anyway." The blonde rested her hand and chin on the footboard and
took in the sights with clear appreciation. "The boss wants you
to stay put here, Mac. Don't piss me off or Dobrinsky will be the
one babysitting you instead. 'Kay?"
After pulling the needle out of his arm he managed to get one
suitcase open but then Mac collapsed down on the floor and catch
his breath. The IV stand toppled over with a metallic clatter.
"How long have..." The blood running down his arm from the needle's
clumsy removal was distracting. He trailed off. "What day is
this, Jackie?"
"I'm not allowed to tell you that." She offered honestly. Jackie
crossed back over to him and after a quick perusal of his
possessions she selected a bit of cloth to stanch his wound. "You
haven't had solid food in way too long." Concern helped to dampen
down the annoying valley-girl attitude in her voice. "You're in
no shape to be doing anything, Mac. Let me help you and I'll tell
you everything she's given me permission to say, 'kay?"
It wasn't like he had any other choice. Yet.
A stomach full of soup, a pair of pants on and a closed door
between himself and Jackie always made Mac felt a little better.
He had discovered over the last couple of days that the blonde
had been annoyingly accurate about his chances of escaping the
apartment. There was no phone, no computer, and no balcony to
step onto if he broke the glass of the windows. As near as he
could tell the main lock on the door was on the outside.
Information wasn't something he could get either. The television
only worked as a monitor for the video player and the radios were
disabled on both the main room's music system and the boom box in
his room leaving Mac no way to tell what day it was. He had
rummaged through his suitcases in search of his watch with the
date function but couldn't find it.
He hurt. Not only physically but that was a high factor. He
missed his friends. He missed Alexei. Fuck did he miss his Demon.
His body thrummed with need, craving the beautiful Russian's
touch as it always did when they were too long apart and this
time there was nothing to distract him. Li Ann wasn't here to
take him out so they could loose themselves on the dance floor as
they often did back home. There was no Victor to stare at and
share a beer with. Distractions were completely absent. Mac
wanted to scream and rage but he didn't have the energy.
Damn, damn, damn. Mac leaned against the wall and looked at the
mess he'd strewn about the floor. He lacked the energy to even
stand, let alone pick up his scattered possessions no matter how
depressing they appeared. His life was reduced to a pile of
clothing and a few odds and ends such as a half empty bottle of
cologne and a box of audiotapes.
Mac extended his leg and poked the case of tapes with his toe. It
certainly wasn't something he would have packed for himself. It
took him a moment to figure out where they had come from. His
Christmas present. Back at the lodge in Alaska before everything
had gone insane he'd been given them as a gift. Using the side of
his foot so he wouldn't have to move his weary body Mac dragged
the case closer.
The leather holder contained an even dozen unlabeled audiotapes.
Strange that the present had been sent along with him into exile.
He wondered if it had been an oversight or a purposeful action.
Mac supposed the answer to that question depended on who had
packed his things and what was on the tapes. For all he knew they
were blank, intended as a prop in the drama that had unfolded
Christmas morning. There was no way that the scene he and the
others had played out had been out of Nicola Romanov's control.
He couldn't picture a roach stealing a cracker crumb within a
kilometre of that woman and her not knowing it. So by extension
the old lady must have approved what had occurred, maybe even
encouraged it. It was enough to make Mac's head throb.
Allowing Mulder and Scully entrance to the Romanov Family hideout
must have been on purpose. The act of dragging Mac, Alex, Li Ann
and Victor down to Christmas room was obviously carefully staged.
It was no coincidence that Victor had been removed from the room.
He would likely have thrown himself between Mulder and Mac before
their fight had got out of hand. It didn't make sense that Li Ann
had wandered off with Agent Scully but then Mac wasn't sure what
was going on inside Li Ann's head lately.
He pulled out one of the tapes at random and turned it absently
in his long fingers. It wasn't like he had anything else to do in
this place. His stomach couldn't take any more food right now,
the gym equipment Jackie was working out on was beyond him and he
certainly didn't want to talk to the blonde.
Mac hauled himself over to the bed and dragged a pillow and
blankets down onto the floor. He settled himself into a nest near
the tape player and popped the cassette he'd been toying with
into the drive.
The first voice Mac heard after the beginning hiss was
unmistakeable. Alex's honey smooth voice was a salve for the pain
in his gut. It was lowered into a seductive purr.
"You awake, Beautiful?" There was a rustle of fabric and a
faint grumble of someone coming around.
"What time izit?" Li Ann mumbled a little further away from
the microphone or still not completely conscious.
"Late. Early. Does it matter?" More cloth whispered. "Mac
passed out. Fuck, I hurt all over." His breath hissed out.
"Damn, it feels good."
A mechanical click was loud, having happened near the
microphone. "Let me see, Lexi. Turn over." Li Ann's tongue
clucked. "I'll never understand why you let him do this to
you."
"I do it because there is nothing on Earth like the
complete satisfaction a really knock-down, drag-out fuck
can give me. I know. I've looked." Alex chuckled softly.
"The heat of another body holding me down like the world
could end in the next few minutes but he could give two
shits about it until he gets his rocks off."
Mac squeezed his eyes shut tight to better appreciate the sound
of his lover's voice whispering obscenities.
"Knowing that my body is the only thing that matters to him
at that exact second in time." Alexei was practically
purring. "And the harder it is to drag a guy to that state...
the more satisfying the pay-off is."
"Alex." Her complaint was muffled as if her face were
buried. "Does everything have to be about conflict? Hasn't
there ever been someone that didn't have to practically
rape you to make you react that strongly?"
"NO!" The denial snapped out too quickly.
Li Ann attempted to coax. "Come on, Lexi. Don't tell me no
one's ever reduced you to a mindless puddle with plain old
romance. How sad."
"Don't." He warned in a deadly tone before laughing
purposefully. "You want a 'Lexi as a mindless puddle'
story?" He bribed. "I spent over a week with my brain fried
out by a mating rut that would do an alley cat proud when I
escorted Foxy to Tunguska."
Despite the warmth of the brightly lit room Mac shuddered. He was
tempted to slam his hand down and silence the tape at that moment
but giving up the sound of his lover's voice was impossible even
if Alex was going on about a hated rival.
"Christ Beautiful, you wouldn't have recognised me. My
combat training totally shorted out. My instinct for self-
preservation completely vanished. It was glorious. Fox
would growl and my throat would bare to him. He'd run his
fingers down my spine and my legs would spread
automatically. All he had to do was touch my shoulder and
I'd drop to my knees without even thinking about it. I
completely ceased to exist as a rational human being."
"And how is that a good thing, Lexi?" Li Ann's voice was
sharp. "Christ, Darling, how could you enjoy being nothing
more than a living sex toy for that asshole?" She demanded.
Alexei growled and she responded with a pacifying noise.
The mattress squeaked a protest and it sounded as if
something were knocked to the floor.
"You don't understand! Sometimes I think you almost get it
but it doesn't quite click in. You never seem to
understand!" Alex accused in a snarl. "I've told you more
than anyone but you can't seem to grasp it." Flesh thumped
against material. "There are so many things constantly
tearing into my brain. Numbers, names, faces... so much
blood. Bits of information flying about like broken glass.
Memories chewing at me like starving rats. So many plans to
co-ordinate. Things I don't want to remember. Things I have
to remember. Things...that wake me up screaming." He sounded
tired. "It's the only sure way I can shut it all down and
just feel."
"Oh Lexi."
"It was wondrous, Beautiful. It was like something I'd
imagined in the middle of the night. He'd held himself away
from me for so long but we went toe to toe in the storage
garage I could tell by the way Mulder was breathing that he
was ready to break. Scully was watching us like were some
kind of science experiment gone wrong. Fox was barely
holding himself back from throwing me down right there. He
couldn't keep his hands off me. It was perfect." Alexei's
breath was rapid and shallow.
Li Ann's wasn't much more controlled.
"In the elevator up to Skinner's place Mulder's face was
practically buried behind my ear, sniffing me. He had to
pass me off before he lost control in front of her
holiness, Saint Scully. I was driving him insane." Alex
bragged. "But Fox couldn't stay away. Then the plane ride.
God, what exquisite torture that was. Both of us had
erections the whole trip, asleep and awake. We'd brush
against each other by accident and it would burn." He
groaned. "Not two hours after we set down in Russia Mulder
lost it. There was no Scully or FBI rulebook for him to
cling to there. The hotel door closed behind us, I turned
to look at him and he just exploded."
Mac recognised the shivery, dark hiss Alex let out at that point.
It was a noise he earned only when the sex between them was at
its best.
"Nothing I've felt since has matched that one instant.
Fox's breath hot on my face. He was so fucking heavy like
the sky had fallen on me and his cock was digging into me
like a steel rod. He shut up, Beautiful. Just for a moment
he was absolutely speechless as he stared down at me.
Reality just froze. Miloserdie! He has the most astounding
eyes I've ever seen, the depth, and the wealth of colours.
Just for a moment it was like nothing else mattered. His
fingers traced down my cheek and he kissed me." Alex
murmured. "That's what I live for. Moments like those."
"He kissed you." Li Ann prompted in a faint tone.
"He destroyed me." Alexei elaborated in a tiny voice. "Our
mouths opened and he wrenched something out of me.
Something I thought I'd lost in England so many years ago.
Something I've been looking for ever since. I don't know
what Fox did with it. I think he gave it to Scully to
dissect and she threw it away." He let out a sharp, brutal
snort of pained amusement. "I thought for a little while
Mac might be able to replace it or even maybe you had it.
You don't. Mac's trying so hard but he can't quite reach..."
A shuddering breath sucked in and an edge of tears tainted
Alexei's speech. "Ebat'-kopat'. Mo'i pizdoi nakrylsja.
Fuck, listen to this shit. I'm losing it tonight." He
complained in an impatient whisper.
Li Ann was nearly crying too by the sound of it. "My God,
Alex."
"Don't." His voice was a terrifying growl. "Don't you dare
look at me like that." The bed protested sudden movement,
bodies shifted loudly, sounds of damp suction and a breathy
moan from Li Ann followed.
"God damn. Oh mercy...Alex. Don't do this. We need to talk."
She let out a groan of pleasure. "Your teeth, watch your
teeth. Aaah!"
Mac slapped his hand against the tape player and oppressive
silence replaced the too familiar sounds of both Alex and Li
Ann's bedroom noises. If this recording was a fair representation
of what was on the audiotapes Mac now knew why they'd been sent
along. It was part of his punishment for pissing the Romanov
women off.
Mac left the tapes buried inside his suitcase for the rest of the
day and into the next. It wasn't like he had much else to do but
considering how that first conversation had affected him he
simply couldn't face another session so soon. He tried pumping
Jackie for information but all he earned for his trouble were a
lot of overdone blank looks and a few flirtatious come-ons that
Mac doubted were sincere.
Eventually boredom and hunger for his lover's voice drove him
back to the poisonous leather case. In an attempt to hear
something different Mac avoided the tape he'd already sampled and
picked out another. This one had the distinct metallic sound of a
wiretap about it and the contents were even more depressing in
their own way.
The first voice to speak was completely unfamiliar. "Hallo." Even
with only one word to go on Mac decided the man's tone was sleepy
and distracted.
"Bonjour mon amoureux d'or." Alex's laugh spoke of back
alleys and pitch black, starless nights. "How is my
favourite bed-warmer feeling today?"
So it was a tape of Alexei and one of his many lovers. Mac was
tempted to yank it out and try another immediately but he steeled
himself to listen. Things were messed up between Mac and Alex,
whom he needed more than food and water. If he had to wade
through every damned audiotape Mac was going to do it on the
chance it would offer up some crumbs of insight into his lover's
complicated psyche. Somehow he was going to drag something useful
out of this mass of torments that the Romanov women had thrown at
him. That would show those bitches his level of commitment.
"Xander, Precious."
That nickname immediately grated on Mac's nerves. He'd only seen
it in used in connection to his Alex one time and that time had
hurt, damn it. The letter Mac had seen 'Xander' used in was a
declaration of love and possession that suggested Alexei returned
the intensity of emotion. Mac composed a silent plea inside his
head that this voice wasn't the writer of the letter that had so
wounded him.
"Where are you, Sweet thing?"
"Sorry, my love. I'm in New Orleans. I just couldn't go
another day without your accent tickling my ear." A
rustling sound came from one end or another of the
conversation. "I miss you so much. I went looking for a
blond on the streets but I just couldn't stomach the
thought of anyone but you tonight. You've ruined me for
other men."
"Good. I wanna own your pretty ass." The man yawned loudly.
"Find a couple of birds instead. That'll distract you."
There was a pause before Alex spoke again. "It's the middle
of the afternoon there, Love. Don't tell me you were
sleeping."
"I was on a mission. I only got to bed..." There was a scrape
of plastic against something hard. "...Three hours ago.
Bloody hell."
"I'm sorry, Gorgeous. Go back to sleep." Alex suggested.
"I can't. Not now I've heard your voice, Sweet thing. Talk
to me for a little while." The English accent coaxed. "It
doesn't matter what you say, Baby. Make up a bedtime story
for all I care."
"You're in bed, me Darlin?" A mischievous Irish lilt
threaded into the Russian's voice. "Tell me you're naked. I
swear, one of these times I'm going to plant a camera in
your bedroom before I leave."
"Xander." The other warned. "You know I sweep for bugs
every week. Don't waste your time."
"Ah, but I might get a couple of days footage of you
calling my name as you jerk-off before you trashed the
camera. I think that would be worth my efforts." There was
a creak of something that sounded like leather. "Is that
what you do, Love? Do you think of me when you're stroking
yourself off?" Alex's voice was thick with sexual
suggestion.
"Sweet thing. Don't tease. You're too far away. It's not
fair for you to get me going." The protest was half-
hearted. "Shite, I miss you." He admitted. "If you were
here right now I'd..."
When his partner trailed off Alex prompted him to continue.
"What would you do, Love?" Only shallow breathing filled
the silence so Alexei took up the thread. "You're sprawled
out right now. That's how you sleep when you're alone.
You've kicked off most of the blankets and your skin is
cooling to match the air in the room. Such a body you've
got, Love. It's a warrior's body, all lean muscles and
covered with badges."
"Scars." The correction snorted out.
"Evidence you've survived. I love your scars, mon soldat
d'or. I wish I were there to run my tongue over each and
every one. I know if I touched you right now it would feel
like I was branding you. You're cold, Love. Let me warm you
up."
He didn't want to react to the conversation but Mac couldn't help
himself. With a will of its own his palm skated down his body and
settled absently over his stirring erection. Listening to Alex
talk in that taunting growl was impossible to resist even knowing
the sly purr was aimed at someone else. The brief taste he'd
received of Alexei's fine body on Christmas Eve hadn't been
nearly enough. They'd been too long apart and Mac was physically
craving the feel of his lover's pale skin against his own with an
ache that painkillers couldn't touch.
"You've a mouth like a blast furnace, Xander baby."
Alex laughed softly at the compliment. "I want to put my
mouth on you. Lick the salt of your sweat. Feel the blood
throbbing in your cock with one hand while I thread the
other into your shining gold hair. It's beautiful when it's
mussed up from sleep, your hair is, moi soldat. You look
like a debauched angel laid out for sacrifice after we
fuck."
A breathy groan cut into Alexei's monolog.
"There's this spot right below your ear at the back of your
jaw." He pressed on. "When I scrape across it your whole
body shivers and your cock jumps against my palm. When I'm
fucking you and I rub it with my teeth you clench up so
hard it almost sets me off."
"That's it. Keep talking, Sweet thing."
A loud whimper, made more vivid by being book ended by two
recorded voices, strangled out. If only the English accent would
just shut up and let Alexei talk then Mac would be able to
pretend the obscenities weren't aimed at another man long enough
to ease his aching need.
"You got your hand wrapped around yourself, Love? That's my
Precious. Are you leaking enough, me Darlin, or would a
little tongue action do you good?" Alex teased. "You know
where I like to put my tongue, mon cher."
Mac slid down flat, closed his eyes to block out the strange room
and pulled his pants open. "Fuck." Alexei's words were so
perfect. Sound and touch were the only senses he wanted to deal
with right now. Anything else would betray his solitude.
"Xander." The name gasped out.
Shut up. Shut up, you bastard. Mac internally cursed the
interloper and tightened his grip.
"You like it when I fuck you with my tongue, don't you
love? I'd push you right to the edge that way. Lick at you
until you're so close it's nearly pain." Alex murmured
suggestions. "Then just before you lost it I'd pull back,
crawl up your shaking body..."
The Englishman every breath was weighted with begging.
"Please, my Precious."
"Because nothing feels quite like riding you, Gorgeous.
Sinking down on your stiff flesh. My body opening to
embrace yours. Ya liubliu tebia, moi zolotoj soldat."
"Xander, in English, Baby. I wanna hear you say it. I need
to hear the words. Don't you hide them from me like that."
Shallow pants fractured the demand.
Alexei's chuckle was hoarse. "I love you." He repeated in
that same thick purr. "I've never loved anyone more than I
love you, my dearest Dickin. My beautiful golden soldier. I
wish I was straddling your long, thick piece right now."
Christ, Alex. You had to use that son of bitch's name. Mac sobbed
and rolled onto his stomach. He wanted the pain it would cause
his damaged gut. Maybe that would make him angry enough to reach
over turn off the hateful tape. As it was he couldn't even bring
himself to block it out and let his imagination help him to
finish off. Fuck, what would he pay to have Alexei say words like
those to him with such conviction?
"Come for me, Gorgeous. I love the taste of your cream."
"Bastard!" The word wrenched out along with a cry of
release. The Englishman was slow to find his voice again
but when he did the words he chose ripped a hitching
whimper from Alex. "I love you too, my pretty Xander. I
miss you. Come home to me."
"Oh Dickin. I wish I could." Alexei's response was faint.
"You're too good for me. I don't deserve..."
"You deserve better." The other cut Alex off. "You deserve
someone who'll never hurt you."
Alexei's laugh was as sharp as a knife. "Love, I get off on
pain."
"You keep telling me that, Sweet thing, but y'know what?
I'm having a harder time believing you about that every
time it happens. You're just scared of the alternatives,
Xander. You should be. Love is a damned sight harder to
contend with than a strapping. I've finally learned that. I
think it's time you did too." The Englishman stated. "No
more rough trade for us, Precious. I don't want to hurt you
anymore."
"But don't you see, that's why it's so good. If you wanted
to honestly hurt me I wouldn't love it so much. I wouldn't
love YOU so much." The Russian reasoned vaguely. "This
isn't something I can talk about on the phone, Gorgeous.
The next time we connect, and as soon as we wear out the
attractions of hot, sweaty sex, I'll explain it to you. Now
go to sleep, mon amoureux."
"I miss you, Xander."
"I miss you more my 'widdle snugglebunny." Alexei teased
then snickered. "Sorry." He apologized to silence the
other's dramatic gagging. "Good night Dickin."
The dead air that followed was a mercy. Mac reached and yanked
the plug out of the wall before another tormenting sequence could
begin. Unwillingly Mac mentally compared the steamy conversation
against similar ones he'd had with Alex over the last year. Yes,
he'd gotten 'I love you' out of the Russian but never so
convincingly said, never with such playful sincerity, never
without somehow prompting Alexei into making the declaration.
Okay, think it through. Mac ordered himself. One of the
Catherines had mentioned an Englishman named Dickin, had even
pointed the man out in a photo. Mac had found some letters Alexei
had received from the son of a bitch. This Dickin person was old
news. For all he knew the Englishman was dead by the hand of the
Romanov women or missing in action on some mysterious 'mission'.
The affair had ended years ago. It only existed on paper and tape
now. Mac's brain insisted on adding 'and in Lexi's memory' but he
ruthlessly quashed that thought. The affair with the Englishman
had become something Mac could learn from if he could just get
past his jealousy and anger. Those last few sentences towards the
end had been important, Mac just knew it.
With exaggerated care Mac forced himself to sit up, reach over
and plug the tape player back into the outlet. Mac was going to
learn what it was that the blasted Englishman had given Alex. The
method used to turn his casual playmate into such a devoted lover
might be somewhere in these hateful tapes and if it was Mac
intended to find and crack the code.
The Romanov women might have meant these audio cassettes as a
taunt, but Mac would turn the joke around and throw it right back
in their faces.
Mac had been both pleasantly surprised and disturbed to discover
his and Alexei's affair was documented as well. He couldn't help
but wonder who had planted the bug in their bedroom in Atlantic
City and when exactly the surveillance had begun. Maybe on the
second or third hearing he would be able to figure out the
location of the microphone by the echoes involved but right now
the visceral enjoyment he felt at hearing himself and Alex
together was overpowering everything. Listening to the tape
brought the scene to mind in every detail. Mac lived the night
over again in his mind, revelling in it.
Alexei's sweaty body bucked wildly and his head started to
shake violently as Mac extracted the long, slippery black
scarf from under the corner of the mattress.
Alex's breath caught. "No. No. No. No."
When Mac reached for the Russian's face the protests grew
even louder and more insistent.
"Not a blindfold, Baby." Alexei's real arm bunched
uselessly. Bands of soft leather encased most of his wrists
and forearms. More heavy strands of slick black restrained
him to the metal frame of their bed. "I don't do
blindfolds." Alex tossed his head as Mac's fingers touched
his chin.
"You do anything, Demon." The younger man countered in
amusement. Mac knew the further he pushed Alex into the
scene the more desperately his lover would cling
afterwards, offering up phrases of devotion that the
younger man desperately wanted to hear. That's the way it
always happened. Mac shifted so he was straddling his lover
in order to halt Alexei's thrashing movements. He held the
scarf so that the ends dangled. Mac tickled the older man's
already sensitised nipples. A bit of sandpaper had seen to
it that Alex would feel every following sensation.
The Russian whimpered. "But I'm ready now, Baby. Do me
now." His knees rose as much as the weight on them would
allow. "Enough playing."
Mac laughed. "Liar. We've barely got started." He flicked
the nipple ring he'd pierced his lover with a few months
earlier. Keeping the smooth cloth of the scarf between his
palm and Alexei's burning skin Mac caressed the prone man's
face and chest. "I just want you to focus on what I'm doing
to you, Demon." He explained his choice of the blindfold.
When the fabric curved up Alex's chin and touched his face
the Russian's whole body convulsed in reaction. "NO!" He
strained and the bindings cut into the skin of his real
arm. "NYET!" Strong teeth snapped and Alexei screamed his
denial at Mac, shuddering all over.
"ALEXEI, STOP IT!" Mac slapped the other lightly across the
cheek with his wrapped hand. He squeezed his thighs
together, restraining Alex further.
The Russian went absolutely still. His green eyes were
wide. The colour was almost swallowed by the black of his
dilated pupils.
"Calm down, my love." Mac bent to brush his heavy lips down
the bridge of Alexei's small nose. "Settle. You can trust
me. Good boys do what they're told. Calm down."
"Da Ser." Alex went limp.
"I love you." Mac declared. "I didn't mean to scare you,
Pet." That particular endearment invariably rendered the
Russian pliant. "Are you all right?" He stroked up Alex's
temple and over his hair. "Easy down." Mac couldn't resist
stealing a kiss from the plush lips parted below him. "God,
I love you." He declared into the other's open mouth. "I
just need... oh my lovely Demon. If you really don't want the
blindfold it's okay."
"Whatever you want." Alexei whispered meekly. He had ceased
to struggle against the bindings.
Mac smiled, nuzzling. He dropped kisses all over Alex's
face. "I just..." His tongue flicked out to trace the older
man's features. Alexei's eyelashes were left wet and
clumpish. Mac tasted a hint of salt. "I just want to make
you feel how intensely I adore you."
"I know. I'm sorry." Alexei undulated provocatively,
rocking his hips in encouragement.
"Mmm. That's my pretty Pet." Mac's wrapped hand shifted,
brushing over one of Alexei's eyes. The only reactions were
a moan and a shiver. "Close your eyes, Love. Trust me." A
few deft flicks later the silken cloth lay over Alexei's
face. When no objection came Mac pulled the fabric tight,
blacking out the Russian's sight entirely, and knotted it
behind his lover's head. "Good boy. You just lay there and
feel."
"Yes Sir."
Mac had to chuckle at the strangeness of it all whenever
Alex used that title. His lover was the elder by years and
could certainly pound Mac's face into the carpet if he
wanted to. "Do you want me to hurt you, Pet? Do you want
everything tonight, my Demon?"
"Da, moi hozyain. Da." Alexei whispered.
"In English." Mac corrected.
Alex had to swallow several time to find his voice again.
"Hurt me, Baby. I want white noise. Shut my brain down.
Please."
"If that's what you want." Mac's voice was thick with both
threat and promise.
"Well. Well. Well."
A female voice slammed Mac out of his memories and back into the
here and now. Mac was forced to once again acknowledge the
reality of the black lacquered room he was staying in and the
underscoring whir of the tape in the cassette player.
"Isn't that so very impressive." The woman's voice shredded away
the last of Mac's fantasy without mercy. The Director was leaning
in the doorway of the bedroom looking quite the image of a biker
chick from Hell in a black leather bodysuit that was only zipped
up to her breastbone. "I must admit you surprise me, Mr Ramsey."
She observed with a tight, arrogant smile that suggested she'd
been observing him unnoticed for quite some time. "Didn't that
just tread the fine line between consent and rape. You play
lovely Alexander like a pro." Her hands clapped lightly together
in a parody of applause rattling the delicate silver chains that
decorated her shoulders.
Mac glared up at the invader and jabbed out a finger to silence
the sound of Alex whimpering as his cock was wrapped in bands of
suede. "I was wondering when you'd get around to gloating over
me." Mac's movements still lacked their usual grace. The pull of
the tape on his dressing and the dull pain of his wound stiffened
his movements. Mac scratched absently at the edges of the area
where they had shaved him. "So do I get some answers now or are
you expecting me to jump through some hoops first?"
"Mac. Mac. Mac." The statuesque redhead sauntered over to the
stereo on heels that would have crippled a normal woman and began
looking through the tape box. "This isn't very informative, now
is it?" One of the unidentified cartridges was held up by
leather-encased fingers and examined. "Most men prefer videos
these days but then you've always been special. Haven't you?" The
tape was tossed nonchalantly to the floor. Her smile was
predatory.
"What day is it? Where are Alex, Victor and Li Ann? Why was I
given to YOU? How long do you intend to keep me prisoner?" Mac
rattled out some of his more urgent questions. He didn't bother
trying to convey his emotional state. The Director wasn't likely
to care.
"It's January." The admission came only after she had studied him
a few moments. "Happy New Year." Scarlet lips quirked, hinting at
her glee. She picked up another cartridge with a slightly
disinterested air.
Mac physically reeled in shock. He sat down hard on the edge of
the bed. Well, that did explain why his muscle tone was
completely screwed up. Too long without solid food or movement
had taken its toll. "Where are they?" He didn't have to list
their names again. She knew whom he meant.
Auburn brows lifted. "What do you intend to do, Mr Ramsey? Crawl
out of here without a cent in your pockets, drag yourself to the
airport so you can attempt to mug some poor man of his ticket and
passport?" The Director dropped the tape she was toying with and
leaned back against the cabinet, crossing her arms. Snug leather
creaked as she moved. The smile she graced him with was
infuriatingly smug. "They're gone. Their lives are quite full
without you, as unbelievable as that may sound." She mocked. "Li
Ann is with an FBI Agent named Dana Scully, I'm told by sources.
She is apparently content to spend her life at the woman's side."
The Director chuckled. "If I'd suspected her attraction to strong
redheads I would have pressed dear Li Ann to take the next step
with me rather than let her play you and Victor off against each
other like the eager puppies you were."
Mac glared.
The Director continued on un-phased. "Alexander has informed me
he's unavailable for assignment for the next few weeks, and no,
he didn't even inquire about you." Her long ruby-red nails
flicked. "He hasn't mentioned you at all. He's too busy raving on
about Victor's oh-so-many virtues to be concerned about your
welfare." She walked over, stopping beside the bed to survey Mac
as if he were some interesting specimen of lower life. "Still, by
an earlier agreement with Alexander and Victor I'm bound to offer
you shelter and protection. I suppose when your health returns I
could also give you some kind of employment."
Mac's head shook. "You are an absolute queen of liars." He
accused. "I don't believe a word you've said and I won't stay
here."
The Director looked unconcerned. "Fine. Pack. Leave. The locked
door was for your protection not to confine you. If you don't
want the Agency's help...." Her shoulders shrugged briefly, chiming
faintly. "I'm sure the Romanovs are more than willing to finish
the job on you. That is assuming you don't starve to death or
faint in front of a bus before you even get out of this city."
"Where am I?" Mac cut in with the demand.
"Vancouver."
"How did I get here?" He pressed.
"You were delivered to the Agency building in a box and wired to
battery operated life support. The letter that arrived with you
called you a peace offering and was signed 'Catherine'. I'm
assuming that whoever Catherine is, she'll expect a favour in
trade sometime in the future." The Director reached out and
touched her former Agent's chin, forcing him to look up and meet
her gaze. "I wasn't lying. Alexander didn't mention you when I
spoke to him last and I've had no reports of anyone actively
searching for you." She tilted her head. "So you were with Alex
and Victor all along. Li Ann was with the three of you as well.
Wasn't she? Alexander is the most deceitful creature I've ever
had the pleasure of dealing with." Admiration was clear in her
tone.
"Where is Alex?" Mac asked, his determination wavering slightly.
It didn't help that the heavy scent of rubbed leather was
invading his nostrils and making his already painful cravings for
his lover intolerable. His head was practically swimming.
"I don't know." The Director responded as if to a slow child. "I
told you that already."
His demand came out too much like a plea. "I'd like a telephone."
Calling their joint home in Atlantic City should put him in
contact with at least one of his friends. Mac could leave a
message, if nothing else.
"If you think it will help." The Director puffed out a snort of
amusement. "Really Mac, if they showed no interest in your
whereabouts while you were unconscious from a gunshot wound and
in peril of your life..." She extracted a tiny cell phone from
where it nestled inside a side pocket on her leg. "Whatever makes
you think they care about you now?"
Mac snatched the phone away. One after another he left
increasingly urgent messages on Li Ann's, Victor's, Allegra's and
his own machine. Alexei's cell phone number generated only a
discontinued service message. An answering service Alex
maintained for business contacts connected him to a bored
sounding woman who grunted acknowledgement of his communication
then hung up without a farewell courtesy. Roman Security's phone
was answered by a girl he didn't recognise who politely informed
him that all the owners were unavailable and answered his claim
of being one of those people with 'as you say, Sir. May I take a
message?'
Through all the frustrating attempts to reach his friends the
Director stood smiling in amusement. When it looked as if he
might heave the cell phone across the room in frustration she
took it away. "You've been disavowed, Dear." Her pity was brutal
and shallow. "I suspect they've been told you're dead, a state
you will likely find yourself in if you continue to persist in
attempts to gain their attention." Gloved fingers ran down his
cheek but he didn't have the energy to shake them away. "It's
hardly a new experience for you however. This is what, your third
death in the last five years?" The Director sauntered back to the
bedroom door. "Now, to ensure this death remains as counterfeit
as the others, I'm having meals sent in that have been prepared
by a dietician. Some lighter-duty workout equipment has been
installed and an Agency doctor will be by any minute to inspect
your wound again. I'd suggest for the sake of your own best
interests that you stop pouting in your room and avail yourself
of everything I'm so graciously providing for you." She walked
out with waiting for a response.
The stationary bike was one of Mac's least favourite pieces of
exercise equipment but the Agency Doctor had prescribed it so
Jackie enforced it. Mac would rather have gone for Tai chi or a
punching bag because those activities brought a cleansing mental
blankness with them. It seemed all he did lately was think.
Enough past mistakes were swirling around in his mind already. He
didn't need a new batch to deal with so soon. The very last thing
Mac needed to be thinking about while perched on the narrow bike
seat was his lover, Alexei. Still, there was very little else to
focus on lately.
When the blonde Agent clumped into the room on clunky,
impractical heels Mac was almost relieved to see her. Jackie's
spandex encased rear settled on one of the weight benches. "I've
news." She announced with a giggle. Her eyes were gleaming. "Keep
peddling or I won't tell you." Jackie ordered in an imperious
tone when it looked as if Mac was slowing down.
"Spill it."
"Like, so when did you become such a Grinch?" Her mouth didn't
close all the way between words. "Ya know, I had a thing for you
when we met." She ran an appraising look up him. "Your bod's held
up but Gawd! What a old stick you've turned out to be."
"News, Jackie?" Mac disregarded her order to keep at the
exercise. The hem of his tank top was pulled up and he used it to
blot some of the sweat from his face.
"Oh yeah. Now this ain't from the lips of her Majesty." Jackie
qualified. "I got it from Laura who got it from Nathan."
Mac grimaced as he recognised the name of the Agency's rather odd
archive keeper but he had no idea who Laura was. It wasn't worth
interrupting over however. Considering the information's origin
it was already suspect. Nathan was a genius at procuring
knowledge but the nervous, bird-like man saw everything through a
distorted film of suspicion and arguable sanity. "Just tell me,
Jackie. I'm not in the mood for a game."
"See! There's, like, the whole problem." The blonde stabbed out a
finger. "You used to be up for games all the time. So, what's up
with you? When did you get so old?"
"I don't know. Recently." Mac scraped a hand back through sweat-
curled hair. "Getting shot can do that to a guy." The last thing
he needed piled onto him was the realization that Jackie had him
pegged.
"I am taking you out to party, Babe. You need to lighten up so
bad. 'Course we'll have to be careful of your poor tummy but you
SO need to hit a rave."
"The news." Mac reminded.
Her jaw tightened into a grin. "Will you go out with me tonight?"
She bargained.
"Yeah. Whatever you want." He could likely use the change in
scenery anyway. "So talk."
"Okay. Okay." Jackie shifted in place, striking a provocative
pose. "Nathan's been on the lookout for awhile now." Her valley
girl accent was laid on thick. "For some reason that only his
weird little mind can conjure up he's been tracking after Victor
and leather-guy Alex on his own time. He's yipping something
about glow-in-the-dark royalty." She crossed her eyes
theatrically and snorted. "Is that not like too bizarre?" Pale
brows lifted in suggestion. "Anyway! He's got quite the stuffed
file on those two but he wouldn't share with me for some reason.
I saw it but he jammed it under his shirt, and like, gross out,
there's no way I wanted to touch it after that."
"Go figure." Mac commented sarcastically.
"Yeah. Like what's up with that? So I even tried to do the macho
posturing thing, which is SO not me. On the up side it turned out
he confided in Laura some of what he'd found. Nathan turned up a
record of Alexander, Victor and Catherine Roman entering
Columbia." She bared all her teeth in a fierce smile.
"As in South America?"
"Well, DUH!" Jackie glared. "How many Columbias do you think
there are?"
Mac barely resisted the urge to reach across and strangle her. "I
have to go there." He announced flatly.
Jackie was up off the bench, across the room and had him thrown
face first against the wall in seconds flat. "I was trying to be
nice, sharing and all. Do I need to tell you how out of shape you
are or does this..." She hiked his bent arm further up his spine.
"Make the situation crystal?"
"Let go." Mac demanded.
"Say it." Jackie applied pressure enough to make him grunt in
pain. "Say you're gonna behave yourself, Baby."
"Okay." The admission came out in a frustrated snarl. "I'm not
ready to chase them down yet."
"Damn straight. I mean really. Ding dong! Passport, money, the
ability to duck when someone shoots at you. Do any of things ring
a bell?" She released him and stepped quickly out of range. "What
you are up for is some recreation. Hit the showers, Mac. These
walls are crowding me."
He'd been avoiding the first tape in the box since listening to
it. Mac knew in the back of his mind that Alexei sometimes went
from his bed down to Li Ann's but having the evidence shoved in
his face wasn't something he wanted. Still, the point came when
that particular tape was the only one remaining.
The contents of the others had ranged from casual, obviously one-
sided flirtations to the very first session between Alex and Mac
after they had reunited in the Vancouver safe house. The last had
surprised Mac for several reasons. First of all he had no idea
how or why the encounter had been recorded. It had been a rather
spur of the moment coming together. It also illustrated exactly
how quickly and firmly they had dropped into a
dominant/submissive relationship. Considering it wasn't a game
Mac had played often he thought he should have been more awkward
and unsure of himself.
Even after listening to the scene a fair number of times Mac
couldn't hear any hesitation in his own performance. With each
run through the voices became less personal and easier to pass
judgement on. It was gradually dawning on him that the Director
wasn't completely wrong when she suggested he manipulated Alexei.
Wasn't that a kick in the head? Perhaps his lover's hesitations
weren't entirely put on. Mac may well have pushed the older man
too far on occasion and the precedent was set in the first
session. They had set no limitations nor decided on a safe word.
Mac was now afraid that his attempts to bind Alexei to him were
the very reason that he and Alex couldn't seem to connect at a
deeper level. The tapes were suggesting Mac had taken the wrong
approach right from the start despite how powerfully Alexei's
body responded to their physical relationship.
Fuck but that was frustrating. Sex was the one thing that had
seemed to work between them. Their bodies had never failed to
quake with the perfection of the union. Even the thought of how
perfectly they had meshed sent need resurging through Mac's
frame. As the aches of his injury receded his cravings for his
lover's touch were growing more intense. Having experienced
missing Alex more times than he cared to recall Mac knew the
desire was going to get even stronger until it was a uniquely
painful sensation. Listening to Alexei's voice on the machine and
stroking himself were becoming altogether too common during the
course of Mac's day.
"Sometimes I wondered if giants used to inhabit the manor."
Alex was reminiscing for Li Ann about the compound in
Russia where Nicola had taken him when he was twelve. "It
certainly would have explained the ceilings... and the
doorways. I couldn't reach the top of the doorways." He
spoke absently; as if he were reciting some tale he'd read
years before. It wasn't a tone of voice that showed up
often on the audiotapes. "I think it used to belong to some
branch of the royal family way back in the dark ages." Alex
sighed. "You know what's weird, Beautiful?"
"Lots of things." Li Ann murmured making the other laugh.
"I don't even remember exactly when I started thinking of
myself as Alexei. I mean, I spent twelve years answering to
Mikhail and in a matter of months Nicki had me calling
myself Alexei, even inside my own head."
"Why Alexei?" Her voice prompted.
"He was the only son of Nicolas and Alexandra, the last
Czars. The baby of the family." Cloth rustled. "Nicola... I
don't know if it's some whim of her's or if she's got some
kind of tie to the old monarchy. None of us were born with
the names we use. Nicki named us after that last royal
family, at least 'till she ran out of names. The Catherines
and that boy got names from other dynasties. Remember, I
told you she picked up a boy in England. I think his name
was Benjamin when she got him. She's named him Peter."
"It's kind of cruel. Taking away a child's name like that."
Li Ann observed.
Alex's breath came out in a weary puff. "Nicki did it to
all of us. It's no big deal." He shrugged off the violation
as it were nothing. "It'd be different now. Nobody could do
to me what Nicki did then. I'm stronger now. Mikhail was a
mouse, a mewing infant who wasn't worth keeping."
"You're Mikhail." Came the reminder.
"I was, but I'm not any more. Mikhail Arntzen is just
another alias now and it's not even one I like using. I'd
never break as easily as he did. Nicki improved me."
Listening, Mac couldn't help but feel a twinge of unease at how
his lover dismissed the child he once was as a different, lesser
existence.
"Nicki hurt you, Love." Li Ann protested. "You don't
deserve how she treats you. You didn't deserve any of the
things she's done to you." A faint kiss sounded. "Or what
Vasili did to you."
"I don't want to talk about him."
Li Ann sighed. "You never want to talk about him. I'm
working with bits and pieces here. How can I help you like
that?" She complained. "What happened, Love? Tell me what
happened."
"I can't." A whimper threaded into Alexei's tone.
"Try, for me." She coaxed. "This time I need the rest. Tell
me how he died."
A silence extended for two long minutes. "Four years."
Alex's voice was hard to hear when he finally spoke. Mac had to
raise the volume on the machine.
"I'd been there four years. Learned... all I needed. Nicola
said I was ready to go out. She arranged to have me
accepted for military training but Vasili was arguing with
her. Not in front of me. Never in front of me. But I knew."
His breath came out in a shudder. "The other three girls
were out. Only Olga and I were still at the compound." He
stalled out.
"You don't like Olga?"
"I..." Alex hesitated. "I worshipped her. She was so
powerful. I wanted her so much it scorched my skin and made
my fingers tremble whenever we were in the same room." He
stated. "But she didn't think much of me. I was a baby.
Olga sided with Nicki. Said I was just a kid and that I
needed seasoning." The bed creaked. "I hadn't fucked her.
She was the only one of the girls I hadn't been allowed to
touch by then." Alexei's tone was almost malevolent at the
moment and edged with anger. "She didn't want me 'cause I
was just a child."
Silence and the whir of the tape dragged out for a moment
or two.
"Nicki and Olga said I had to prove myself. I had to prove
I was ready to take my place in the family." Alex laughed.
"It was so stupid. How could I have been afraid? I was an
idiot. It was easy."
"What was easy, Lexi?"
"I went to Vasili." Alexei's murmur was wistful. "I wore
his favourite clothes. They were pale violet, too big and
made me look so young. Christ, I hate that colour." The
Russian hissed. "He had the most gorgeous room, Beautiful.
This massive bed with high posts and blood red curtains
that would close out the world. One time when he left me
tied in there for hours, suspended just below the canopy. I
counted the tassels around the top to make myself forget
the cramps. One thousand, two hundred and nine little gold
knots." A harsh breath was sucked in. "The curtains had
tie-backs on them that matched the tassels. I used one of
those to strangle him." Alex sighed. "Mama Uritski was
furious at me 'cause it was so hard to match up. She
insisted on replacing that tie. She said she couldn't get
the blood out of the fibre. I twisted it too tight, tore
his skin. Sloppy."
The next pause was painful in length. "I think Vasili loved
me in own way. He didn't want me to leave and join the
army. He wanted to take me somewhere else where 'the ice
queen' couldn't get us. Away from Nicki so he could show me
how much he really loved me. He promised to pierce my
nipples and cock, to weld a collar on me... to brand my
chest. He insisted I would look exquisite." Alex laughed.
"But Nicki wouldn't let him mark me at all. She got so
angry when she realised he'd scarred my back even though
they hardly show. You've gotta feel them to know they're
even there. You've felt them, Beautiful."
"Uh huh." Li Ann barely made a noise.
"He thought I was a peace offering when I showed up in his
room that night. That Nicki was going to let him keep me a
little longer." Alex stated. "I wasn't gonna fuck with him
that night. I wanted to save it 'cause Olga said I could
have her finally when the job was done but I felt so bad
when I saw his face that I had to spread for him one more
time." A body shifted. "He called me 'moi komantnoe',
that's 'my pet' in Russian. Mac calls me 'Pet' whenever
he's about to hurt me really bad... just like Vasili did."
"Fucking idiot." Li Ann let out a choked whisper. "Oh Lexi.
Mac doesn't understand. He thinks it's just a game. He's
never going to stop as long as you keep secrets from him.
Why won't you tell him?"
"Tell him what?" Alex sounded genuinely puzzled.
"That it hurts."
"I need it to hurt." The Russian's chuckle was strained
with emotion. "My body needs it. I come harder for Mac when
he whips me, when he torments me like Vasili used to do.
That's the way it's supposed to be."
"Coming harder isn't the point."
Alexei hissed with delight. "Oh, but it is! It's the only
thing that matters."
"Have you tried anything else? Mac's good, Love. So
talented." Li Ann spoke from experience. "He could make you
feel so wonderful without hurting you if you just told him
that's what you wanted."
The denial was blunt. "I don't. That's not what I want from
him."
"There isn't anyone else." Li Ann's scolded. "You think
Mulder would give it to you? HA! He'll damage you worse
than Mac ever could and that bastard won't be feeling
anything for you when he does it." Flesh pounded into
fabric. "Damn it, Lexi. Don't you want to feel what it's
like to make love?"
"Sounds like a plan. Come're"
This time skin hit skin. "You're not listening. You talk to
me, but you never listen. Just once you should feel what
it's like. You wouldn't want to go back to those stupid
pain games." Li Ann was practically shouting.
Alexei's roar overpowered hers. "I tried it with Dickin and
you know what? The pain is a fuck of lot safer."
"Who's Dickin?"
A noise almost like a mortal wound had been dealt to him tore out
of Alex. There was a flurry of physical movement and a door
slammed below the sound of Li Ann attempting to call Alexei back
to her. Faintly in the following silence Mac pieced out the
scenario. Li Ann's front door crashed. Feet pounded up stairs.
More thumping suggested another door, then louder than before
muffled thuds of movement and muted voices came, one of which was
raised in surprise. His own voice, if Mac guessed properly. Their
bedroom in Atlantic City was right above Li Ann's.
The tape cut out after a few minutes of listening to Li Ann first
cursing, then crying.
The Director kept casting sideways looks at Mac, disturbed by how
easily he was acquiescing to her wishes today. When she'd arrived
at the apartment and informed the ex-thief that it was time to
earn his keep Mac had simply nodded his acceptance and followed
her downstairs. This compliant mood of his was making her
nervous, not that's she'd ever allow that to show. It had to be
boredom. Still, it was a rather eerie flashback.
His mood was playful. Mac had eyed her leather mini-skirt and
sheer blouse with an appreciative leer, whined without sincerity
when he wasn't allowed to drive to headquarters and shot a
comment at Dobrinsky as they passed by the man about how the
Director's enforcer looked liked he'd put on weight.
Even stranger was the fact Mac didn't groan and object when the
Director led him down the stairs to the archives. Research had
always been one of the areas Mac had disliked back in his time
under her command. He'd foisted off paperwork on Victor and Li
Ann whenever the opportunity presented itself.
"Nathan, my man!" Mac passed by the Director and stalked down one
of the towering rows of shelves. "It's been a long time."
The Agency's research drone let out a squeak of distress at the
sight of Mac and backed into one of the precarious balanced
stacks of books behind him.
"Mr Ramsey." The Director spoke up. "I didn't bring you here to
torment the staff. Nathan, calm down. Mac's here to work."
"You look good, Nathan. Whad'ya see a coupla hours of sunlight
this week? Look you've almost got a tan." Mac flicked his fingers
near the librarian's cheek causing the skinny man to flinch away.
"MAC!" The Director's voice raised.
He backed away from the shivering man and offered up a grin. "I'm
behaving." Mac held his hands up at his shoulders in a 'hands
off' motion. "Nathan knows I'm just joking around with him. Don't
ya, buddy?"
"Yeah, sure." A nervous shiver contradicted the words.
"Mac's here to do play catch-up." She stated with a warning glare
at the young man in question. "He's been out of the loop for a
while." The Director seemed to be evaluating Mac with every
breath. "Fetch him the last year's worth of case files, the one's
Jackie's done." She ordered.
Nathan's head bobbed like an obedient puppy and he scrambled off
into the depths of the cavernous shelves.
"You will sit. You will read. You will not torment poor Nathan."
The Director listed. "Jackie will come by to collect you later
on. Keep in mind you are a year out of practice and she is now
the senior Agent."
"She's my boss. You gotta be kidding." Mac complained without
force earning an examining look from the woman beside him. "Okay,
okay. When do I get my own wheels?"
"When you prove yourself and not one second sooner." The Director
informed him. "I don't trust you."
Mac mimed a shot to the heart, groaning in pain. "Wounded, you've
wounded me. I'm never gonna get back to full strength at this
rate."
Her heels ticked on the shiny floor as she paced right up into
his space. One bizarrely manicured hand lifted to swat him
lightly on the cheek. "No nonsense. I'm am watching you, Mr
Ramsey." A sharp blue and black painted nail lingered at his
chin. "You've nowhere to go and you own nothing but what I allow
you."
"Just like old times." He grinned down at her.
With one more narrowed glare the Director withdrew and walked out
of the room. Mac's smile faded instantly. He swung around to peer
into the corridor that Nathan had taken. Mac had a plan and a
large part of it depended on a file that the meek librarian had
stashed somewhere.
Too many times in the past he'd been accused of acting without
thinking. Everyone was now going to find out exactly how much
getting shot had changed him.
That's it for now. Milk and cookies time.
A Gathering of Scoundrels VI: A Breaking Storm
jimcarla@hotmail.com