* Be sure to keep your Rat clear of diseases and other nasty problems by
keeping him, at all times, away from nasty silos, rabid peasants and
other
alien infested locations.
* If he becomes dirty, washing the Rat with a soap based cleanser will
quickly
solve the problem. Full body contact may be required at times to prevent
him
from hurting himself as he may get frisky. Do not use alcohol based
cleaners.
* Do not feed the Rat after midnight and under no circumstances get him
we...
oh wait, wrong list...
* Your Rat may disappear sometimes and then reappear days later,
bruised,
battered in a torn leather jacket and bleeding. This is normal behaviour
for a
Rat, and must be taken in stride if you do not wish to scare him off.
* Care for your Rat's injuries, much as you would your own. Cuddling and
snuggling can be quite effective as most Rats have an inbuilt need for
affection. At no time allow him to deal with his own bandaging, as it
will
result in him not feeling that you care and he will disappear for good
the next
time.
* Chocolate is an effective bribe for recalcitrant Rats. Make sure it's
the
good stuff, however, none of the nasty American chocolate. Only Swiss or
British chocolate will be effective, and will also prove to your Rat
that you
are willing to go out of your way to that dinky chocolate shop on the
other
side of the city for him, and will often result in good behaviour for
the next
short while.
* Please have your Rat trained. It is often best for him to be trained
privately. Rats do require a clear definition of who the boss is in the
relationship. Training started early in the relationship will help
prevent
behavioural problems that can start very early. Bars are often a great
place to
show off your Rat and to help social behaviour with strangers. Early
socialisation is of great importance with Rats.
* Rats require a lot of patience, especially during the early months.
These
times can be very trying for you and your Rat. As you will learn their
mouths
are purpose built. There is little to persuade them not to suck, lick or
nibble
on everything. It is a good idea to provide quality body parts that can
stand
up to a young Rat's oral phase.
Here is a list of items you should have on hand for any emergency for
your
beloved Rat:
o Bandages
o Hydrogen peroxide
o Anti-Bac cream
o Chocolate
o Lube
o Condoms
o Chocolate
o Massage Oil
o Gun
o Fuzzy Footie Slippers
o Ammo
o Spare Leather Jacket
o Chocolate
o Doctor (Any red headed one will suffice)
o Leather Harness
o Stuffed Toy Rat
o Chocolate
Household Hazards to avoid leaving around:
o Open FBI Top Secret Files
o The Good Vodka
o Chocolate you want to keep
o Spare Consortium Assassins
o Laptop with information on The Truth
o Any of the Gunmen
Note: With the above, chances are, the Rat already knows more about it
than you
do. However, it's nicer to let him believe you trust his information.
Trust is
a highly important issue.
Grooming:
o Do not under any circumstances neuter your Rat. It will result in deep
emotional pain and eventual withering away. And they're really not fun
without
all their bits intact.
o Always maintain patience for yourself and your Rat. Rats are unlike
most, and
will baffle you at times. They will love you infinitely. Enjoy your time
with
them because when they are gone you will ever wonder how you survived
life
without one.
Looking after a Rat may be a time consuming effort, but is an ultimately
rewarding task. We hope you enjoy your Rat, and that he gives you many
years of
pleasure.
CSM
Caring For Your Rat
by Finn
Thank you for your purchase of our latest product, the Rat. Below are a
few
tips to follow to make sure you get the most out of your new purchase.
A Rat must always be well groomed if you are to maintain his
self-esteem. A sturdy leather jacket, T-shirt and jeans can be standard
wear
for most days. Be sure never to buy brightly coloured clothing, Hawaiian
shirts
are right out. Try to keep him clean shaven with his hair trimmed. Rats
with
shaggy beards are just not right. Sturdy shoes are required, but nothing
that
would make noise when moving. Stealth is very important to a Rat's well
being.
Underwear is usually not necessary.
ConsortiumProducts Inc
