It was so quiet and peaceful here, nothing stirred
except for the occasional
bird, or small animal rustling in the undergrowth
nearby.
Alex had grown to love it here, learning to adapt to
the land around him. He had
soon grown used the steady rhythm of the countryside.
Getting up when the sun
rose, going to bed as the sun set. His body had grown
accustomed to the fresh
air and good solid country food. Now he was totally at
peace.
He looked up as a flock of geese flew overhead, winter
was coming and they were
migrating to a warmer climate. In his heart, Alex
wished them well. In one way
he wished that he were flying with them, searching for
somewhere where he could
settle down and live out the rest of his life. But he
was content to be where he
was right now. All things considered, he could be in a
far worse place.
Should be getting back soon, he'll be wondering where
I am. The thought
flickered through Alex's mind. He did not wish to
return to the cabin. In fact
he dreaded it. The endless questions, the demands to
know where he had been,
what he had done. It was growing tiresome but there
was nothing he could do
about it. At the moment he was stuck.
He felt no self pity over his situation though, in one
way he realized that he
had done this to himself. He was the one that had
decided to join the
Consortium. He had been the one that had approached
the Smoking Man with a
proposition. He had made the decisions and had dealt
the cards. Now as the Well
Manicured Man was fond of saying, he was playing them
where they lay.
Sometimes he dreamed of freedom, he dreamed of the
elusive and the sometimes
frustrating sensation of being completely unfettered.
Of being entirely himself,
but he knew that ultimately it was an illusion. A
dream that for him could never
come true. A dream of being with the one man that he
loved, the one man that he
desired above all.
Alex could close his eyes and see the face of his
beloved. If he sat sat very
quiet, scarcely breathing he could almost feel the
gentle touch of those well
shaped hands. He could hear the smoky rich voice
whisper the secrets of the
universe in his ear.
And what those secrets were? Well that didn't matter,
never did. The words were
not important, it was the closeness, the strength, the
passion. That had made
Alex feel more alive than anything else.
"Mulder." Was it a plea or a curse? Alex opened his
eyes, disturbed to find that
they were wet. Why weep now? He had fucked it up all
so badly. He'd had his
chance and through his own weakness, his own lies, he
had betrayed the man that
he had grown to love the most.
Lies, that's what his entire life had been built on.
Lies and more lies. Now,
here he was sitting beside a lake, watching as the day
grew older. Waiting
for...what exactly? For his life to change? Only he
could do that. Only he could
change his life and change his future.
He glanced at the expensive watch that sat on his
wrist. A gift from the old
devil himself. Alex could never quite work out why
Spender had given it to him.
It sure was not out of a sense of gratitude, or even
guilt. No Spender had gone
way beyond any of the finer human emotions. Through
the steady progression of
the disease, the old man had finally become a true
monster. Alex had learned
that a long time back. The watch, it had been little
more than a bribe.
Stay with me, the old man had pleaded, cajoled,
demanded. Stay and care for me
while I die inch by slow inch. I have no one else and
I need you. Oh he had
never said those words, he never had to but still they
had hung unspoken in the
air. Spender had given Alex the watch, a solid gold
Rolex and had smiled that
cold smile his pale rheumy eyes never leaving the
younger man's face. Alex had
accepted the gift, the bribe and had later dammed
himself for it.
So he had stayed, simply because he had no where else
to go. Then Spender had
decided to take them both to the small cabin hidden
deep in the mountains. There
they would stay living together. The old man slowly
dying and Alex waiting for
him to die.
Slowly he climbed to his feet and headed back towards
the cabin. It was growing
colder, summer had slowly turned to autumn and now
autumn was betraying them all
by allowing winter to creep it's way in on it's frozen
ass.
"It'll start snowing soon." Alex said aloud to no one
in particular. Did he
really want to spend a winter snowed in with Spender?
"I don't think so." He whispered. Because then there
would be no escape. No
being able to get away from the labored wheezing as
the old man struggled to
draw breath. No escaping from the cold dank smell as
the old man's organs shut
down one by one. No escaping the harsh scratchy voice
as it whispered it's
secrets to Alex, as he unburdened himself knowing that
death was so very near
now.
The old man had felt a sudden pressing need to share
all his dark knowledge with
his young assistant. Alex had not wanted to hear what
the old man had to say,
but it was difficult to escape Spender's voice as weak
as it was in the confines
of the small cabin. So he had no choice but to listen
as Spender's tale of evil
and deception unfolded to Alex's unwilling ears.
"I want to return to Mulder." Alex stopped, surprised
that he had spoken the
words aloud. But it was true, he so badly wanted to go
back to Washington DC, to
where his dark haired, hazel eyed lover resided. Back
to his arms, to the memory
of his love, his desire.
To be able to take his cock into his mouth, to taste
the bittersweet salt flesh,
the familiar musky scent that had always driven Alex
mad with need.
"It's our anniversary soon." Alex said softly. His and
Mulder's. The first time
that they had made love. The first time that Mulder
had ever been with a man.
Alex had been with men before, he had broken in many a
sweet virgin ass. None of
them had meant anything to him though. It had only
been sex, something that had
fulfilled a need. Then all that had changed when
Mulder had come along.
Dear sweet vulnerable hurting Fox Mulder, just ripe
for the plucking. And how
easy it had been. Even now remembering the first night
that Alex had taken
Mulder's ass cherry, the colour flooded his cheeks.
It had all seemed so simple then, breaking through
Mulder's defenses, using his
loneliness and need for human contact. The Smoking Man
had told him that it
would be easy, and so it had been.
"Get close to him, gain his trust. Get him to open up
to you." Spender had
instructed Alex. And so Alex had, but he had never
bargained on falling in love
with the FBI agent. No, that had definitely not been
part of the game plan.
Suddenly Alex knew what he wanted, no, what he needed
to do.
He would leave the old man, to hell with being safe
here. To hell with the alien
invasion, in fact to hell with everything.
As much as he had grown to love this place, to crave
the peace and tranquillity
he would go back. He knew that Mulder would probably
shoot him on sight, but it
would be worth it. It would be worth the risk to see
Mulder's face once more. To
look into the eyes of the man that he loved. He would
look into those eyes and
say the words that he wanted to say.
He would leave Spender, let him die alone and unloved.
Let him lie here
unmourned. Alex was no longer going to hide. He was no
longer going to live his
life dreaming over what might have been. No, even if
it meant death, he would go
back and see Mulder one last time.
He wanted to spend the anniversary of their first
night together with him just
one more time. Then whatever consequences there was to
face, well he would face
them standing on both his feet. He may be less an arm,
but he was more of a man
now than he had ever been.
He would tell Spender he was leaving, and then he
would gather up his shit and
he would walk out the door.
And let the cards fall where they may, it was time to
start living again.
And after all, he had an anniversary to celebrate.
Time After Time
by Lady Midath
Alex sat beside the water, staring down into the clear
crystal depths. He had
been sitting underneath the large elm beside the lake
for most of the morning.
