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Interrogation
by Nicole S and Orithain

Part V
Sinking Ship


Alex Krycek blinked another tear from his eye as he shut the door that joined his room with Mulder's. He shakily drew in his breath and let it out as he picked up the bag and turned to leave his room. The ringing phone just stopped his hand from turning the doorknob. It startled him, and he gave a little jump. He debated whether to answer it for an instant before picking it up.

"Yes?"

"Krycek, you're awake?"

Krycek swallowed, "Yes, who needs sleep?"

Oberbahnfuehrer Skinnner laughed haltingly, "Apparently not the Americans."

"What do you mean?"

"Dresden is in flames; the whole city is in ruins from the carpet bombing from the Americans."

The colour drained from Krycek's face. "Shit," he whispered.

"We have to take action, Krycek. Start with killing your American pet. Kill him for the people in Dresden."

Krycek's voice caught in the back of his throat, but he was able to speak after a minute.

"Kill the American?"

"He is the only prisoner you have, yes?"

"Yes."

"Krycek, we are exterminating all prisoners. In all the camps, the prisons, as many as we can. These Allies think they can defeat us? Well, they may be able to overrun our country, but it will be a Pyrrhic victory. When they get here, they will find all the vermin their soft hearts wanted to save already dead. Don't forget to burn the body."

A shock ran through his body, and he bit his lip to keep from screaming. Skinner continued.

"After you have done that, why don't you come by headquarters? We will have a little party to celebrate the death of the American dog."

"Party?"

"Well, it's been going on all night, but we need a new excuse. You will come?"

His stomach twisted at the thought of having a party for killing his lover. "I will be there," he said through clenched teeth. "Although it may take me some little while. I don't want the American to die too quickly." Even though it nauseated him to even think about hurting his Fox that way, Krycek knew that his fellow officer would have no trouble believing it of him. And that would keep him from looking for him too soon. He needed time to get away.

"Excellent. I will see you when you get here."

He hung up the phone without saying goodbye or the obligatory Heil Hitler. He stared into space for a few minutes before moving again. They wanted him to kill his Fox? His liebchen? He had hoped that if he just left, Mulder would be safe, but now he knew he had to take him with him.

He took a deep breath before walking back over to the door that connected his room with Mulder's. He went through the door and sat on the small bed, caressing the golden brown hair with his leather-gloved hand before turning on the lamp.

"Mulder." He shook the sleeping man's shoulder. "Mulder, wake up."

Mulder blinked his eyes then opened them. He frowned when he saw Krycek dressed then sat up. "Where are you going? Did I oversleep? What time is it?"

Krycek pressed a finger to Mulder's lips, "Ssshhh. It is the middle of the night. Listen very carefully, Mulder, for what I am about to tell you will save your life."

Mulder nodded.

"Now. I want you to get dressed and pack whatever you can carry in the small bag that is in the bottom of your wardrobe. Dress warmly, layer your clothing. After that, come into my room. Do this as quickly as possible. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Good, now go."

Krycek left Mulder to get to work. It only took him a couple of minutes to get ready, fingers flying over buttons, packing the bare essentials. His heart beat fast as he went to meet Krycek in his room where there were more clothes laid out for him on the bed.

"Take your shoes off, and put on these thick felt socks and the boots. The Russian army wears these; they will keep you warm in very cold weather. Now, put this sweater on—good. Here are some very warm mitts, lined with rabbit fur, a balaclava and a fur hat. Put these in your bag until I tell you to put them on. Here as well is a wool overcoat and hat. You will be my driver tonight. If anyone asks you any questions, pretend your throat was injured in the war. Keep this scarf wrapped around it," he said, handing Mulder a scarf, "Just point to your throat, then to me. They'll get the idea. We don't want anyone to realize that you don't speak German."

Krycek looked at Mulder, put his hands on his shoulders and looked into his eyes.

"Mulder, I am going to be honest with you. Germany is under siege, and I...we need to escape. If you want to come with me, I would like that very much. If not, I'm afraid that you will be killed." Honesty forced him to add, "You'll probably be able to join up with your own troops not far from Berlin. I won't stop you if you want to go with them."

Mulder swallowed at the gravity of what Krycek just told him. He didn't want to die, that was for sure, nor did he want to be separated from Krycek.

"I want to come with you, to be with you. I don't want you to leave me. I...I think I love you." Mulder said it even though he was afraid of Krycek's reaction. He didn't know if Krycek wanted his love, but he didn't think he had a choice any more. He'd belonged to the German from the first time he touched him, and he didn't want to change that now. He thought he might rather die than lose Alex.

A slight shock ran through Krycek's body at these words. Mulder had never said anything like this before. Krycek smiled then kissed the American.

"I would not have left without you." He hugged Mulder close to his chest, regretting that he ever thought of leaving Mulder behind. Remembering the task at hand, he broke away and smiled at Mulder, "Come, we must go."

They gathered their meager possessions, Mulder carrying both bags. Swiftly and quietly, they made their way down the stairs and out the door. Krycek gave Mulder the keys to the car. He was just about to put the bags in the trunk when another car pulled up behind them.

"Stay where you are," cautioned Krycek. He then turned to greet the vehicle. Sturmbahnfuehrer Spender got out of the car.

"Spender, how nice to see you. Don't tell me we had a meeting this late?"

"No."

"Then what can I do for you? Why are you here?"

"Dresden is destroyed..."

"Yes, I know," Krycek cut him off. "Skinner just telephoned me. I was on my way to headquarters to see if I could offer any assistance."

"I see. Why do you have your bags packed then? Going on vacation?"

"It's a little cold, even for the Riviera this time of year, Spender." Krycek chuckled. "I knew it would be a long ordeal and decided to bunk at headquarters for a few days, perhaps a week. It is such a pain driving out here to the house. Not to mention becoming nearly impossible with all the damage the American bombs are doing to the roads. It is dangerous as well."

"Not as dangerous as fleeing the country."

Krycek's expression did not falter; he did not flinch one bit. "What do you mean, Spender?"

Spender pulled his pistol and aimed it at Krycek. "You. You are leaving the country."

"Are you out of your mind? We have a war to fight. How could I possibly be leaving the country?"

"That's not what I have heard."

"Don't you think that if I was going to leave, I would have gone by now?"

"Rats always leave the sinking ship."

"Come on, Spender, this is not funny anymore. It's cold, and I am growing impatient with your accusations."

He motioned for Mulder to continue putting the bags in the trunk. Mulder hesitantly moved towards the open trunk of the car.

"Stop," Spender said.

Mulder froze, cold sweat beginning to prickle on his back. He looked over at Krycek who had a look in his eye that he knew all too well; someone was going to pay for doing something wrong.

"Spender, this is bullshit! Put the pistol away, and I will forget this incident ever happened."

Spender walked up to Krycek, holding his pistol on him the whole way.

"I know about you. I know what you are doing. You are betraying your country."

"I am not betraying anyone."

Mulder slammed the trunk to the car, causing Spender to look over at the noise. In that split second, Krycek had Spender disarmed and kneeling on the ground. Mulder ran over to the other car and dragged the driver out, holding him against the car.

"Krycek, can we talk about this?" Spender sputtered.

"No. I am going to gain great pleasure by killing you, you cocksucking asskisser." Krycek brought his hand up, knife glittering in the moonlight. Silently, he yanked Spender's head back so their eyes met before slowly dragging the knife across his neck. He held his head as the blood spurted then gushed out into the white snow, maintaining eye contact the whole time. He did this, not just to confirm death, but to confirm to the dying man who was killing him. Finally, he threw the limp body forward to the ground.

He looked over at Mulder and the other driver, who stood horrified at the scene.

"You're next." Krycek pointed the knife at the driver.

"No. I'm just a driver, I'm nobody."

"You like to rape women. German women. No, I think you need to die. On your knees."

"But, but, I was just doing my job."

"I don't care." This time, Krycek opted for the pistol he took from Spender, shooting the driver through the back of the skull.

Mulder watched as Krycek cleaned off his knife in the snow before tucking it into a sheath somewhere in the coat he wore. He put the pistol into a pocket.

"You get the bags and put them in the back seat; I will put the bodies in the trunk. We might as well take Spender's car; it is warm."

Mulder did as he was told, sliding into the driver's seat of the car. He clenched and unclenched his hands on the steering wheel. He had never been in combat, save for dropping bombs from his plane. He knew his bombs had killed people, but he had never been up close and personal to the action before.

The trunk slammed, and Krycek got in the back seat. His coat was covered in blood.

"Drive northwest on the road to Hamburg; I will tell you when to turn and when to stop. How is the petrol?"

"It's full."

"Good. Now drive."

Mulder backed the car out and started up the road in the direction Krycek told him to go. Silently he drove, not asking questions, as he did not want to know the answers. His heart was pounding, hoping there was not a roadblock along the way with the bodies in the trunk. Just after Wittenberge, Mulder was told to turn off onto a country road until they reached a barn. Mulder turned into the barn and put the car in park. Sunlight was starting to peek over the hills at the horizon.

Krycek got out of the car and motioned for Mulder to stay still. He sighed and leaned his head back, stretching the muscles. He was surprised to see Krycek wheel out a motorcycle with saddlebags along the sides.

Krycek came over to Mulder in the car. "Put the car in the barn, and bring the bags."

Mulder did as he was told, grateful that they were rid of the bodies.

"Put on the balaclava and wear the warm mitts; it's going to be cold."

Mulder put on the woolen toque that covered his face, except for holes for his eyes and mouth. The mitts were soft and warm.

Krycek himself donned a felt muffler and goggles that covered his eyes. Swiftly, he stowed the small bags. Krycek had gotten rid of most of the blood from his leather coat, brushing it off after it had dried. He swung one leg over the motorcycle and kick started it. It let out a loud bang but started just the same.

Mulder got on the back of the bike and wrapped his arms around Krycek. His cock stiffened at the feel of the feel of the hard, leather-clad body before him and the engine between his legs. He put his head on the leather-covered shoulder and closed his eyes as the motorcycle pulled onto the road.

xx

They drove on through the day, the wind nipping and biting at their cheeks. They encountered only two roadblocks on the road from Hamburg, Krycek easily talking his way through them.

They were about 10 miles from Bremerhaven when the motorcycle began to sputter and backfire. Krycek pulled off the road, and both men got off.

"I am afraid, Mulder, that we are out of petrol. There is no chance we will find any; we need to walk the rest of the way. I think we should go through the woods, so we do not encounter any troops along the road."

"I agree, it's probably safer." Mulder removed the balaclava from his face, rolling it up so it just covered his head. It was a little warmer now than it had been before.

Krycek looked at the long shadows of the late afternoon. "Let's find shelter and camp for the night, I am tired. Tomorrow we will start out and make the rest of the journey. The ship does not leave until afternoon; we should be able to make it."

"Ship?"

"Yes, I've procured passage on a ship. We are going to South America. Come, let's start walking."

Mulder stood on the spot, digesting the information Krycek just told him. While he didn't want to be a prisoner anymore, he was not sure that he wanted to drop out of sight completely. He had a home, a life in the United States, and now he was expected to give all that up? He watched as Krycek pushed the motorcycle into the woods to hide it. Did he want to abandon everything for this man? This man who would have killed him two months ago? This man who raped him repeatedly, who made him feel unbelievable pleasure, who bathed him, fed him when he was not well.

A warm feeling started in the pit of Mulder's stomach. I do love him. I don't think I can live without him. Even if I did make it back to the States, I couldn't be the same man I was. Yes, I want to be with him forever.

"What? What is it? You are smiling," Krycek said as he looked back at Mulder.

"I'm just thinking."

"About what?"

Mulder walked ahead into the woods, making sure they had adequate coverage and could not be seen from the road before answering. "About you. I was thinking about you." Mulder put his hands on Krycek's shoulders and brought him in for a kiss, his lips cold from the wind. He did not press too hard, as his lip still hurt from his altercation yesterday.

Krycek grinned. "I see. We will have plenty of time for that later, my friend."

Both men turned and started walking through the woods to find some shelter. Krycek found an abandoned lean-to about an hour later. Strong branches were lashed together with twine, and soft moss covered the ground inside. There was a circle of rocks in front of the lean-to, indicating a fire-pit. It had not been used in some time.

"It is as if it was meant for us, hey, Mulder?"

"I think so."

"Thank god there is not much snow, or we would be shoveling. I will make a fire; you prepare supper for us. You will find some leftovers from yesterday in my bag."

Mulder got to work, finding the handkerchief with the bread, sausage, cheese and preserves in the side pocket. Most of it was frozen, but once they got the fire going, they could roast the sausage and toast the bread on sticks. He found the metal water canteen; this was also partially frozen but would warm up by the fire.

Krycek came back with a load of dry twigs, moss and branches. Soon they had a small fire before them and were eating the food. Mulder found it hard to chew with his wounds, and he had to break off small pieces barely big enough to swallow.

"You are still hurting?"

"Yes."

"I should have killed that bastard more slowly. He had no right to touch you."

A shock ran through Mulder. "You killed him?"

"Yes. He was a menace, always bothering Ingrid; the maid was terrified of him. I think he may have raped her once, but no one ever told me for sure, so I could not take action."

Mulder still had a shocked look on his face. Krycek turned to him. "Mulder, if I did not kill him, he would be dead by now anyway. The only reason why he lived so long was because I took him in. Do not feel sorry for him; he was an animal."

Mulder took a deep breath. No one had ever done anything like that for him before. That warm feeling ran through him again; deep down he was proud that Krycek would protect him like that.

"He came at me with such hatred in his eyes. I didn't know who he was. I kept asking him why he was doing those things to me."

"It's all over now, Mulder. Let us not think of the horrible things that have happened, let's think of the good, hmmm? First things first."

Krycek stood and took off his leather coat and hat. He immediately threw the hat onto the fire. He then plucked the silver adornments off of the coat, ripping the rank and SS insignia off the collar as well. Everything went into the fire. When he was finished with that, he handed the coat to Mulder. He then took off his uniform; Mulder could see the civilian clothes underneath. He untucked the pants and put the legs over the jackboots, giving the illusion that they were just shoes. Krycek then put his leather coat on again and sat down. He began ripping the uniform into strips of fabric to be used later. As with the coat, any adornments went into the fire.

Mulder looked over at the transformation that had occurred. No longer were they on opposite sides of the war; no longer was he the nazi who beat him and raped him. He was now just a man. A man who wanted to help him escape this horrible place. This man was not his enemy; this man was his lover.

"Oh yes," Krycek said as he picked up his bag. He brought out three packets of papers. "These are your papers that we took off of you when you got captured."

Krycek handed him a packet that Mulder immediately put into his pocket. Somehow having them back made him feel like he had his identity back as well.

"I want you to have this pistol and knife as well. You are going to need protection in the woods." He handed Mulder the objects, which he also put into his pockets.

Krycek held the other two packets of papers in his hands. He stared at the one in his left hand before throwing it on the fire. His eyes glazed over for a minute as he watched the paper burn, then a relieved smile crossed his face.

"Good bye Alexander." He turned to Mulder. "From now on, my name is Aleksei, and I am Russian."

"You are, are you?" Mulder smirked, "I can't tell the difference."

Krycek laughed, "It is subtle."

"Do you at least speak Russian?"

"Of course! I spent years fighting them and interrogating them. I needed to know the language."

Mulder watched Krycek stare off into space for a moment before he spoke.

"You know, up there, on the Russian front, it was hell. I was with the 62nd Panzer Engineer Battalion in 1941, the coldest winter ever. We were not prepared; we did not have winter gear. Our camouflage consisted of white sheets tied around us." Krycek snorted and shook his head. "The nails in our jackboots made our feet seem colder than blocks of ice. I stuffed the bottoms of mine with paper, rags, anything to keep out the cold. We had this tube of wool that we used as a toque and scarf. Our pistols froze, the tanks froze, the horses froze, it was -40 in the sunshine. We had no idea what we were up against. Their troops were from Siberia, trained to fight in the cold. They wore Valenki, which were felt boots with felt socks, keeping their feet warm. They had a fur cap, fur mitts and a white cotton camouflage oversuit which was worn over a quilted suit, keeping out the wind. They sheltered in snowhouses lined with branches and topped by tarpaulin, just like their homes in Siberia. They had low temperature oil in their machines, and their submachine guns were winterized. Needless to say, they kicked our asses. The lowliest day of my military career was retreating from the Russians. It felt as if my whole world had collapsed."

Krycek stopped talking and shook his head again. "But I am not heeding my own advice, am I? I am talking about bad things when we should be remembering the good, looking towards the future."

He reached out and stroked Mulder's face, bringing him in for a kiss. "I am so glad you are here." He kissed him harder, careful of the cut still on Mulder's lip, his gloved hands running over the wool of the coat.

"I want you to feel happy, Mulder, I want you to feel good. Let me make you feel good."

He pushed Mulder down on his back, caressing his cheek with leather fingertips. He moved down and undid the bottom buttons of Mulder's overcoat. Pushing the fabric back, he pulled the sweater up slightly and undid the trousers.

Mulder moaned in anticipation of what was going to happen next. He instantly hardened as Krycek's mouth enveloped his cock. He squirmed in delight as Krycek's tongue ran around the head and down, lapping him up then releasing him again and again. Finally, Krycek started sucking with hard, long strokes. Mulder's hands clenched inside his mitts, and he moaned louder. A few minutes later, he felt release as he came inside his lover's mouth, arching up off the ground.

Krycek lapped up Mulder's fluid and licked him clean before returning his member to his trousers. He smiled as he bundled Mulder up, bringing him up for a kiss.

"Thank you," Mulder said.

"You're welcome. Come, we should get some rest." Krycek put another branch on the small fire and crawled back into the lean-to. He sat with his back braced against the strong back wall of the shelter and opened his legs, inviting Mulder to sit between them.

Mulder leaned back against Krycek, feeling his strong arms come around him. He was tired; it had been an emotional couple of days. He snuggled his head back into Krycek's shoulder before drifting off to sleep.

xx

Krycek awoke to the sound of footsteps outside the lean-to. He was about to emerge when he heard voices.

"Someone's over here, in this shelter."

Krycek drew back, afraid. These were American voices. He heard the clap of a clip being put into a machine gun. Mulder was gone. A wave of anger ran through him as he thought of these people touching his Mulder.

"Come out, with your hands up."

Krycek remained inside for a few seconds before emerging with his hands up.

"Ne strelyaite!" Outside the lean-to were two American soldiers. They looked Krycek over, deciding what to do with him. Krycek knew that look; he had worn it many times before he had executed someone.

"Well, what do we have here?" the first soldier said.

"I dunno, but I don't like it." The second soldier brought his rifle up and pointed it at Krycek's head.

Inside, Krycek was seething. How dared they treat him this way. He knew, however, that he had to put on a show if he wanted to live.

"Please..." Krycek said in his best Russian accent. "Please, I escape from camp. I am alone. We are allies, yes?"

"Are you Russian?"

"Yes."

"I hate Russians."

Suddenly, a shot rang out, and the soldier holding the rifle to Krycek's head fell to the ground. Then a second shot rang out, and the other soldier collapsed in a heap. Blood spattered on Krycek and on the ground.

Krycek looked over to where the shots had come from and saw Mulder with the pistol he had given him earlier. He was stunned. Mulder had never been aggressive, save for one time in the prison. Mulder ran up to him and gathered a few things off the soldiers, stuffing them in his bag. He grabbed Krycek's bag and held it out to him. Krycek took it without a word.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I...I think so."

"Come on, we have to get out of here. They were probably an advance scouting patrol; there will be more soldiers around here."

Krycek still stood there, not believing Mulder had killed his own countrymen to protect him.

Mulder shook Krycek by the shoulders, "Hey. We have to get out of here, now."

"Yes, we must go."

Together both men ran through the woods, not looking back, hopefully in the right direction. Krycek stopped once and checked his compass, turning them towards their destination. About two miles from where the soldiers lay, they reached a small stream. Both men were sweating from the warm clothes and physical exertion. The temperature had risen considerably, and the snow was melting in the dappled sunlight. The stream afforded them some drinking water as well as a place to wash off the blood.

Sensing Mulder staring at him, Krycek looked over at him as he made sure he'd gotten all the blood off. "What's wrong, Mulder?"

"You were almost killed back there. I thought you were going to die!" Mulder's eyes were as wide as he'd ever seen them. The man was almost in shock.

"It's all right, Mulder, it's never easy to kill a man," Krycek attempted to soothe him.

"Fuck them! I don't give a damn about those men; they got what they deserved. But I almost lost you!" Mulder reached for Krycek, feeling that instinctive urge to prove he was still alive that is natural after surviving violence.

Understanding Mulder's need, Krycek let him take the lead, lying almost submissively under his beautiful lover when Mulder pushed him down after stripping them both. After a deep, aggressive kiss, Mulder reared back and pushed inside Krycek with almost no preliminaries. Fortunately, Krycek's blood was up as well, and he enjoyed the sting of pain that rapidly swelled into pleasure. But Mulder was beyond reason, operating on sheer brute instinct, and he slammed in and out of Krycek, intent only on his own pleasure. Soon his entire body arched into Krycek's, trying to get even deeper inside him as he exploded.

Slowly pushing up on trembling arms a short while later, Mulder carefully withdrew from his lover, thankful to see no blood. But he did see Krycek's unsatisfied erection, and he bit his lip, too ashamed to meet Krycek's eyes.

"Look at me, Fox." Alex waited until Mulder obeyed him before continuing. "It's all right, I understand. I get pleasure from your pleasure."

But that wasn't enough for Mulder. Or rather, he didn't think it was enough for Krycek. In the next instant, Mulder had swooped down on Krycek, swallowing him to the root. As excited as Krycek had been by Mulder's brutal possession of him, the sensation of Mulder's tongue fluttering along the length of his cock while he was engulfed in the heat of his mouth was more than enough for him. He came, groaning Mulder's name.

Mulder straightened back up, lying along the length of Krycek's body for a brief instant before they had to get up and continue on their way. It was not safe for them to stay there. Right now, anyone in either army would probably shoot them as spies, traitors, or deserters. They shared a quick kiss before continuing on.

They were making good time through the woods; they only had about two miles to go before they got to Bremerhaven. Krycek walked a little faster, almost running, as he knew their destination was near. They crested a hill and were greeted by five German soldiers, who turned and trained their rifles on Krycek and Mulder. Four of the soldiers were quite young; the fifth was older and was an officer.

"Halt!"

Both men came to a stop and raised their hands.

The older man told the soldiers to put their rifles down and came over to Krycek, a smirk on his face. He spoke to Krycek in a low voice, out of range of his colleagues. Mulder wished he could understand German as he heard the whispers from the man a mere couple of feet away.

"Hello, Krycek."

"Pendrell." Krycek licked his lips.

"Where are you going?"

Silence from Krycek.

"I see you have your little American friend with you. I heard you had taken this prisoner as a valet. He is nice looking, isn't he?"

Krycek still remained silent.

Pendrell looked Krycek in the eye, "Look. I am not going to stop you; I am merely doing this for show to my underlings back there. They think we're actually winning this war." Pendrell smirked, looked over at Mulder then back at Krycek, "You know, if I had a lover that good looking, I'd hide him from everyone else as well."

Krycek's jaw almost dropped to the ground.

"I can tell, Krycek. I have known you too long, and too well, not to notice when you are in love."

Krycek smirked ever so slightly and his eyes softened. Pendrell was a good friend, someone he had known a long time before the war. They had played together as children, went to school together. They would torment the young girls in their class by pulling their braids and taunting them that they could see up their skirts.

Later, as adults, he had come over to Krycek's house often for dinner. Krycek knew Pendrell had a penchant for men but said nothing to their superiors. One thing Krycek did not do was betray a long, true friendship.

"Tell you what," Pendrell said. "Let's give the Hitler youth over there a thrill. I'll start shouting at you, then you and your companion take off running. If I do not do anything, they will tell Oberbahnfuehrer Kersh, and I do not need that hassle.

"Kersh is not as understanding as some of them."

"Aaah, you speak." He smiled at his friend.

"I wish things were different, Pendrell. Remember the fun we used to have?"

"I remember you getting me drunk for the first time and dumping me on the porch of my parents' house. I had to clean out the stable, alone, for a month as penance."

Krycek wanted to laugh but couldn't due to the soldiers that faced him. A look of sorrow came over him as he remembered the good times they had together, times they could never have again.

"It's okay, Krycek, I forgave you eventually." He stifled a laugh and continued. "Have you been running long?"

"A day. Skinner may be looking for me."

"I have not seen you since before your prison was destroyed."

"Thank you." Krycek whispered.

Pendrell sighed, "I will miss you, my friend, wherever you are going. If you ever make it back here, please look me up. I may survive this war, you never know."

Krycek smirked again, just barely. "You will survive."

"If I find a man as good looking as yours, I will."

Krycek nearly blushed; he was proud of how good Mulder looked and the fact that only he could touch him.

"Take care of him, and take care of yourself."

A twinge of regret ran through Krycek that he could not embrace his childhood friend a final time.

Pendrell stood back, grinning before a serious look replaced it. He walked back to his men and stood behind them. "You have exactly ten seconds to get out of here before we shoot you," he shouted.

The soldiers raised their rifles, aiming to kill.

Pendrell winked. "Go, now!"

Mulder and Krycek turned and ran like they had never run before. Mulder's heart was beating so fast he thought he was going to have a heart attack.

Finally, after twenty minutes of running, they were on the outskirts of town. They stopped to catch their breath.

"You knew that man, didn't you?"

"I don't know any of these people, Mulder. It is better if we believe that." Krycek started walking again.

Mulder followed him down a lane beside a grove of trees. When they cleared the grove, Mulder could see the port below, with its cranes and large cargo ships. Large chunks of ice floated inside the breakwater. There were a few German war ships in port, but the majority of them were floating just off shore, ready to fight at a moment's notice. The wind was hitting them full-blast off of the water, cold and unrelenting.

They made their way down to the docks, Krycek leading the way, carefully picking their way through the variety of cargo that littered the docks. Finally, they got to their destination, a cargo ship that looked as if it had seen better days. Paint was peeling off its sides, and barnacles covered a large portion of the hull. Mulder trusted Krycek; however, something bristled at the back of his neck upon sight of this ship.

Krycek saw the captain and told Mulder to stay where he was. He did not want him to know that only one passenger was expected.

Mulder saw the large man shake his head, then Krycek folded his arms across his chest. Whatever they were talking about had made Krycek very angry.

Mulder huddled inside his coat, trying to find some protection from the biting wind that whipped across the deck while he watched Krycek argue with the ship's captain. Krycek had tried to draw the sailor out of earshot, but the captain's anger made him raise his voice to the point that he was clearly audible to Mulder.

"You paid for passage for one person on my ship. One! Not two! Two increases the danger of being discovered by patrols, and what is he supposed to eat? You think I carry extra food for any stray who happens by? No! This is a working vessel and every bit of space makes a profit. There is no room for him. He goes!"

The conversation made it clear to Mulder that Krycek had not intended to bring him along. How long ago had he changed his mind? Thinking back to the night they left Berlin, Mulder remembered that Krycek had been fully dressed and ready to go when he woke him up. It would have made more sense and saved time for them both to get up at the same time. So it was only that night, after he was ready to leave that Krycek decided to bring him. Something must have happened, or Mulder would have woken up the next morning alone in the middle of the Nazi capital. He'd have been killed.

The growing anger in Krycek's voice drew his attention. The German was flushed with rage, faced with opposition for probably the first time since he'd put on that now-gone SS uniform. He'd forgotten what it was like not to instill fear and obedience in others. Finally he pulled out some money, giving it to the captain. It was more than he felt comfortable giving away when he could not access his other funds and less than the captain wanted. But it served his purpose. The captain allowed them both to stay and had one of the crewmen take them down to a hidden area in the hold where they would stay.

Once alone, Krycek eyed Mulder uneasily. He was nearly certain that Mulder had heard his conversation with the captain—he thought the people in Berlin might have heard the man's bellows!—and he didn't know how he would react.

"You don't really want me with you, do you?" Mulder asked sadly, his eyes filled with pain.

Before Krycek could respond, the captain and five of his sailors walked in. Two men each grabbed hold of Mulder and Krycek, restraining them. In their surprise they never had a chance to resist.

The captain walked up to stand in front of Krycek, leering at him. Krycek turned his head away from the powerful aroma of rum and other, less pleasant things on his breath.

"Since you haven't paid full passage, you two pretty boys are going to have to work off your debt." The captain laughed when Krycek's green eyes narrowed and turned to ice. He turned to Mulder, who was looking increasingly nervous.

"Well, you're not as pretty as this one, but you're still a lot better than most I've seen." Saying that, the captain leaned forward and licked Mulder's jaw and cheek. The American could not prevent a cry of disgust. Krycek fought his captors, trying to get to Mulder.

"Leave him alone!" He knew he shouldn't let them know that it bothered him when they touched Mulder, but he was too enraged to remain silent.

The captain laughed again, nodding to the crewmen holding Mulder. They turned him around so his back was to the captain and forced him to lean over a barrel. The captain pulled out his knife and cut through the waistband and back of Mulder's pants, baring him. He licked his lips when he saw the whip scars on Mulder's back and buttocks.

Krycek, meanwhile, was going wild. The other sailor had joined his companions in restraining him, and Krycek was still giving them trouble. One man being enough to hold the terrified Mulder, the second went over to help with Krycek. Finally the four men had him under control. The captain looked over, staring into Krycek's eyes while he pulled out his cock and rubbed it. Krycek snarled at him. The captain continued to hold Krycek's gaze as he forced his way inside Mulder, drawing a cry of pain from him. The captain slammed in and out of him only a few times before he came and pulled out, streaks of Mulder's blood decorating his softening penis. He stroked himself to try and maintain some stiffness. He wasn't done with these two yet.

As soon as the captain stepped back from Mulder, one of the other sailors released his hold on Krycek and took his captain's place behind Mulder. Krycek now stood in frozen stillness, his eyes never leaving Mulder and what these men were doing to him. He barely even noticed when one of the men stripped his pants off him and raped him. One after the other, the sailors changed places until each had had his turn with one of the two men. By this time, Mulder's sobs of pain, which degenerated into pitiful whimpers, and the sight of what was happening had gotten the captain hard again. Now he turned his attention on Krycek.

As he had done with Mulder, the captain slammed into him with no preparation. Even after the previous three rapes, it hurt, but Krycek didn't make a sound. His eyes were still fixed on Mulder, and he could see nothing else. Finishing with a grunt, the captain withdrew and pushed Krycek to the floor, the sailors letting go of him. The six men rearranged their clothing while laughing at the men on the floor.

"Now, you've paid your passage," the captain laughed. They turned to leave.

But the captain's words had finally penetrated Krycek's fog of rage, and he leapt to his feet, ignoring any pain. He pulled a knife from his boot and had cut the captain's throat before anyone realized what was happening. Then he turned on the others. Although there were six of them, Krycek was in the grip of a berserker rage that would have done his ancestors proud, and he didn't even notice what few wounds they managed to inflict before he killed them all, slashing them into ribbons, continuing on long after they were dead.

A gagging sound finally drew his attention, and he looked up to meet the terrified gaze of a young sailor. Krycek stopped mangling the bodies and drew himself to his feet, covered in blood from head to toe. Looking at the sailor, he said, "Bring us down some water to wash, and take these bodies away. And tell everyone on this accursed ship that aside from bringing us food and water, I don't want to see anyone until this voyage is over." The sailor turned to run. "Wait! If we don't receive adequate food and water, I'll come looking for it and for whoever left us without. And I'll do to him what I did to these. Now go!"

Krycek sank to his knees beside Mulder, who was curled into a fetal position at the base of the barrel, whimpering. Despite the blood covering him, Krycek reached out to pull Mulder into his arms, gasping when he flinched away from his touch. But then Mulder's eyes focused on him, and he threw himself into Krycek's welcoming embrace.

Krycek was so angry with himself for not being able to protect Mulder that he couldn't speak. He contented himself with stroking the other man's back comfortingly, ignoring the murmurs in the background when crewmembers came to bring them water and food, which he hadn't asked for but was grateful to receive, and to take the bodies away. He reached over for the wash water and rags, pulling it closer so he could wipe Mulder and himself clean. Mulder lay quietly in his arms all the while, his sounds of misery reduced to occasional sniffles.

They dozed off eventually, sleeping uneasily. Krycek started awake at every sound, determined not to be taken unaware a second time. But finally exhaustion caught up with him, and he sank into a deep sleep. He was woken only a couple of hours later by Mulder nuzzling his throat and stroking his cock. Startled, he jumped and flinched away.

Mulder moaned at his reaction, pulling away from him to curl up into a ball of abject misery. His shoulders shook as he tried to hold in his sobs, but he couldn't. When Krycek reached to comfort him, it was his turn to flinch away from the contact, and he scuttled into a corner, staring at Krycek from tear-drenched hazel eyes.

"Mulder. . . Fox, they won't touch you again. I killed them. You don't have to be afraid." Krycek tried to find the right words, despite his shame at allowing this to happen.

"It doesn't matter though, does it? They did touch me, and now I disgust you! You didn't really want to bring me with you in the first place, and now the only reason you kept me around is gone! You only wanted me because no other man had ever touched me. But you won't ever want to touch me again after they did."

Krycek was literally shocked speechless. Mulder thought he disgusted him? It was he who should disgust Mulder. And what was this idiocy about him not wanting to touch Mulder? He would sooner give up food or water. "F-f-fox," he stammered, "how could you ever think that you disgust me?"

"You pulled away when I touched you! You don't want me to touch you," Mulder accused.

"I was still half asleep, Fox, and after last night, at first I didn't realize it was you. Then I didn't want to hurt you," Alex tried to explain, but Mulder wasn't listening. "Mulder! Listen to me. You do not disgust me. I love you, and I am so sorry that I couldn't stop that from happening to you. I should have been better prepared."

Mulder had stopped listening again. Instead he was staring at Krycek with a bedazzled expression in his eyes. He couldn't believe what he had heard. "You love me?"

Krycek halted his stammering attempts to explain and stared. Had he said that? Yes, he had. When had that happened? Despite Pendrell's comment, which he had brushed off as romanticism, he had not been aware of his feelings for Fox, but they were perfectly clear to him now. He was in love with the other man. He smiled gently at Fox. "Yes, I love you, my Fox."

Mulder slid over into his arms, clinging to him desperately until Krycek lowered his head and pressed a tender kiss upon his lips. Mulder stared up at him hopefully. "Please fuck me, Alex, I need you to."

Krycek was shocked again. "What?! No! You're hurt, Fox, I won't hurt you more!" He couldn't believe Mulder would even ask that of him. He had to be in pain. Krycek knew he was. Fortunately, other than the captain, the other men had not been particularly brutal.

"Alex, please. I need to know that you still want me, that I don't disgust you." Seeing Krycek's denial in his eyes, he continued, "And I need to feel your touch. Make me feel you and not them, Alex. I need that."

Alex couldn't deny that appeal. But he still wasn't going to hurt his lover. He started by removing the remnants of Mulder's clothing, the other man having been unwilling to let go of him long enough to change clothes the night before. When Mulder was naked, he quickly stripped off his own bloodstained clothing and gently urged Mulder to lie flat on the floor, stretching out beside him. He started from the top, running his fingers through Mulder's hair, gently massaging his scalp until he could feel him start to relax. He dropped a kiss on each eyelid and slowly traced each feature with tiny kisses, avoiding his lips till the end. Finally, he drew that luscious bottom lip between his teeth and nipped gently before settling his mouth over Fox's. He slowly explored the familiar cavity, tangling their tongues together for long moments, enjoying this opportunity to refamiliarize himself with Mulder. Mulder moaned a protest when he ended the kiss, but his complaints died a quick death when Alex licked his throat before settling in to suckle on one spot. Mulder arched his throat into the caress, knowing that Alex was leaving his mark on him in a visible location for the first time and loving it. Before they had always had to be careful to avoid suspicions.

Finally Alex released Mulder's throat, smiling in possessive pleasure at the mark before nibbling his way down Mulder's chest. Both nipples were already hard and waiting for his touch, so he drew one into his mouth while he stroked and lightly pinched the other with his fingers. Ordinarily, he'd have teased Mulder for much longer but he didn't want the slightest hint of pain, even pleasurable pain, to mar this experience. Not this time. Not after what had been done to him.

Krycek continued his slow exploration of Mulder's body, licking every inch, finally ending up at his rigid erection. Krycek licked that too, then his balls, sucking on them and enjoying Mulder's cries of pleasure. He stroked Mulder's ass, once sliding one finger gently over the anus just to show Mulder that he still wanted to touch him. He didn't need Mulder's slight wince to know that he was much too sore to be touched there. Instead he brought his hands around, one playing with Mulder's balls while the other supported him. He continued to lick and suck Mulder until his cries told him that it wasn't enough any more, then he drew Mulder deep into his throat while his tongue continued to flutter along the shaft.

Mulder groaned in pleasure, clutching Krycek's hair in his fists to hold him to him while he thrust into that willing mouth. It only took a few more seconds for him to come, Krycek swallowing to milk him of every last drop of fluid and slowly releasing him to lick up anything he might have missed. Mulder whimpered as his tongue stroked over the overly sensitive head of his cock, and Krycek dropped a last kiss on it before sliding up to lie alongside him.

When Mulder stopped panting, he rolled onto one side to look at Alex, who gazed back inquisitively. "You didn't come."

Krycek shrugged. He was aroused, certainly, almost painfully so, but that had been for Mulder.

Mulder stared at Krycek's erection avidly. He could see the beads of pre-cum on the head and knew that Alex was close. It wouldn't take much. "I want you to come. I want to see you come, Alex. Please."

Krycek stared back. He'd never done this in front of anyone, not even his wife. She'd have been shocked and embarrassed even to think of such a thing. He didn't know if he could. Then he saw Fox's tongue flick over his lips as he stared at him, and he knew that he wanted to do this. Waiting until Fox looked up and met his eyes, he reached down and grasped his cock. He gasped when he started to pump it, and Fox's gaze dropped back down to watch him. It didn't take long before he groaned loudly and came, his fluid covering his hand and belly. Fox slid down and licked him clean, suckling on his fingers for long moments. When he came back up, Alex drew him down, half over him, and wrapped both arms around him.

Mulder tilted his head up to meet Krycek's eyes, smiling. "Thank you." Then he tucked his head into the hollow of Krycek's shoulder and went to sleep. With a smile on his own face, and weapons close at hand, Krycek dozed off as well.

xx

Krycek awoke to someone lightly shaking him. He opened one eye to see a man kneeling beside him. He sat up with a start and blocked the man's view of Mulder.

"What are you doing here?" Krycek snarled, "I told everyone to leave us alone!"

The man stood and looked down at him, "I wanted to see who killed the sorriest sons of bitches on this ship."

Krycek eyed the man warily, his eyes narrowing. He stood to face him.

The man smirked. "You did quite a job on the captain and his friends. Bastards all of them, I can't quite feel sorry for them at all."

"Who are you?"

"I'm the first mate, Burkholder, and I am now, thanks to you, the new captain of this ship."

"What do you want?"

"I've come to thank you. I cannot tell you how long I have waited for this promotion." He looked Krycek up and down for a moment.

Krycek snorted.

"It's true. The captain was a complete—what's that word the Americans like to use?—asshole. That does not mean that I am happy you killed five crew members; running this ship is going to be a lot harder thanks to you." Burkholder went over to the doorway to the small room inside the hold, grabbed a bundle and tossed it at Krycek. "Here are some clothes and two blankets. I saw how your clothes were ruined during your altercation."

Krycek said nothing but continued to glare at the other man.

"No one is going to come down here except to feed you twice a day. As we get farther into our journey, the fresh food supply will diminish. Do not be surprised if you get canned food for days in a row. Also, when patrols come on board, the light above your head will flicker on and off. Please hide yourself, your companion and your belongings inside the wall opposite the door. You will find the panels slide back quite easily from the outside but are impossible to open if locked from within. Do not forget to hide the food and water; that is the first thing they will notice. Do not move the supplies that are kept in here; we have to say this room is used for something valid, hmm?"

Krycek listened to the man, wanting to tell him to shut up, wanting to tell him to move them into the Captain's quarters, wanting to take charge and order him around instead. He knew this was foolish thinking. The second he stepped out of the door to his house two days ago, he became a civilian.

"If we get caught, I will not protect you; my ship comes first. Do you understand? Do you realize the danger?"

"Yes," Krycek said, clutching the bundle of garments to his chest.

"Good. Now, there is a W/C down the hallway that you may use, but keep it very clean; do not leave anything in there that will alert patrols to your presence."

Krycek just nodded.

Burkholder nodded at the still sleeping Mulder on the floor. "Is he all right? He's not dead, is he?"

Krycek shook his head. "No, he is just exhausted."

"Good, I don't need any more bodies to take care of. I will leave you alone now." Burkholder turned towards the door

Krycek nodded his head again. He hated being talked to as if he was a child.

"Oh yes," Burkholder turned back and threw a small object at Krycek. "Thank you again for the promotion. See you in Argentina." Burkholder snickered to himself before going out the door.

Krycek looked at the small object he held in his hand. It was a bar of chocolate. There was some bread, an apple and some cheese on the plate one of the crewmembers had left behind before. There was also plenty of water, a veritable feast.

Krycek put a pair of the trousers on. Might as well save his own clothes for when they got to Argentina. He sat down again and draped one of the blankets over Mulder, tucking the other one under his head. He was sore from sleeping on the ground in the woods and then this hard steel floor. He stretched as much as he could before giving up. He would be stiff for a few more weeks, might as well get used to it.

He looked at Mulder who was still sleeping. The trauma of the rapes and the emotions from the past few days must have caught up with him. Krycek reached over and stroked his hair, remarking at the softness of it.

"Mein schoener Fox," he whispered before dropping a kiss on his forehead.

Krycek dozed for awhile, his arm protectively around Mulder. A few hours later, Mulder stirred and started to wake up. He looked at Krycek and reached out to him, hugging him fiercely. He broke away as he realized where he was, and his gaze dropped to the floor.

Krycek tilted Mulder's head up with his hand, "What is it?"

"I thought it was a bad dream, but it's true."

Krycek crushed Mulder to his chest, stroking his hair and naked back. "That will never happen again, not as long as I am alive. Anyone tries to touch you again, I will kill them first."

Mulder drew a deep breath and nodded. He knew what Krycek said was the truth, especially after what happened earlier. They embraced for awhile then pulled away.

"I promise, Fox." Krycek kissed Mulder on the lips to seal his pledge. Mulder returned it and wanted more, but Krycek broke away. "You must eat something."

Mulder nodded, he was quite hungry. After eating enough to please Krycek, he put on the clothes that had been left for him, snuggled up against Krycek and fell fast asleep.

xx

For the next two weeks, their days were spent telling each other bits and pieces of their life, teaching each other childhood games to keep from boredom. Mulder was grateful to have someone to talk to. It had been agony imprisoned in his cell with no company, save for the hour a day Krycek came to see him. While this was not an actual prison, it felt like it.

Krycek was also grateful Mulder was here. They could hear fighting around them and feel bombs go off nearby, the ship listing from the blasts. He held on to Mulder tightly, whispering in his ear not to be scared, yet he was terrified himself.

Twice they had to hide from patrols, one German, one British. They were never found but had a close call. One of the British soldiers who had come aboard had thrust his bayonet through the wall and got it stuck there. He had to snap it off and leave it there, just inches from Krycek's belly. Afterwards, Krycek had collapsed, sobbing, into Mulder's arms, not at the brush with death, but the lack of control he had. Krycek felt very frustrated that he could not provide better passage for Mulder.

Finally, the guns and bombs grew silent as they started away from Europe and down Africa. It had taken them a week to make a journey that should have only taken days.

Once the ship hit rough waters, the two men were tossed around like ping-pong balls. Afterwards, they counted their scrapes and bruises from the supplies in the room falling on them and knocking against them. Finally, the sea calmed, and the two secret passengers felt a little more at ease. There was no window, no indication where they were or what was happening. Krycek knew that this ship was used to smuggle many things, he and Mulder only a small part of the illegal cargo. He just hoped that they did not get caught.

At the beginning of the third week, Krycek decided to teach Mulder how to wield a knife to kill. He showed him a man's weakest points and how to defend himself against blows. After a few days, Mulder was as quick as Krycek, jabbing and dodging to save himself. Krycek demanded Mulder come at him with full force, as if they were still enemies. Krycek dodged Mulder's advances, dancing around his lunges.

Their boisterous training, however, had an unfortunate consequence. Mulder cut Krycek, drawing the blade against his left shoulder, opening a good-sized wound. When Mulder saw the blood, his face turned white, and he dropped his knife to the floor.

Krycek looked down at his arm then back at Mulder. "It's only a small wound; it will heal."

"That's not the point. I hurt you!"

"It is my fault; I was not as quick as I needed to be."

Mulder looked at what he had done in horror, the blood trickling down Krycek's arm to drip on the floor.

"Fox, it's all right, really, I told you to come at me."

"But..."

"Trust me, it does not hurt." Krycek went to his bag and took a couple strips of fabric out of it from his old uniform. He wet one with water and started to wash the cut.

Suddenly, Mulder was beside him. He took the wet strip of fabric and began cleaning the wound. After he was done, he wrapped the dry strip of fabric around Krycek's arm as a bandage, then wiped up all the blood.

Krycek noticed the furrow in Mulder's brow, and he was also biting his lower lip. He reached over and kissed Mulder, his tongue sweeping across his lips. "Are you still upset?" Krycek asked.

"No. I wish you wouldn't have made me attack you though. I really don't want to hurt you."

Krycek smiled and caressed Mulder's chin with his hand, bringing his gaze to meet his own. "Okay, no more lunging at each other with knives, we can use the sausages the crew bring for us instead."

Mulder smiled back, "They're almost as hard."

Both men were now laughing, grateful for something to laugh at. As if on command, a small sailor came through the door with their plate of sausage and turnip. He quickly set this, along with a bucket of fresh water on the floor and left. Rumours about the wild men in the hold ran rampant around the ship. When it was time to take the food down to the hold, the galley staff drew straws. The short straw meant the person had to face the wild men and deliver their meals.

The hasty retreat of the man, along with the contents of the plate, left both men rolling on the floor, laughing. Tears welled up in their eyes, and it took them a good ten minutes to calm down.

"Come, eat before it gets dreadfully cold."

For some reason, this set Mulder off again into a laughing fit that left him gasping for breath.

Krycek watched his lover writhe on the floor. What pure joy it was to see Mulder happy. He nibbled on some dinner before Mulder calmed down enough to join him. After they had eaten, they sat back and shared a cigarette, something they did once a day.

"You know, Mulder, when I was a young man, Pendrell and I stole two of his father's cigars. We smoked them in the woods by our houses, showing off for the girls. We were so sick by the end that my mother had to call the doctor. He gave her some awful medicine to give me, and I swore I would never touch cigars again. Cigarettes on the other hand are another story. I never thought twice about smoking them."

"One of the girls told her mother that we were smoking cigars, and we got in trouble. I had to help my mother scrub the entire house. It was beautiful and sunny outside, and I was stuck inside cleaning. Pendrell's mother was not so lenient. She made him clean the stables every day for a week, change the bedding, take care of the horses. Then she made him move the entire manure pile from one end of the stable yard to the other. That woman was a sadist."

Krycek chuckled and took another drag on the cigarette.

"Soon after that incident, Pendrell became teacher's pet, aced all his classes and behaved himself. He was at the top of our class for years and did very well in University." Krycek let a smile cross his face, "Well, until he discovered sex anyway."

"Pendrell sounds like a great friend. You're lucky to have had someone like that growing up."

"Didn't you?"

"No. My sister Samantha was my best friend. She died of polio when she was eleven. My parents didn't have any friends that had any children; they socialized with my father's co-workers. Most of them were single. My parents basically hated each other, and I was this shy little boy who kept to himself."

Mulder sighed. "No, I didn't make many friends when I was young. I loved airplanes though; I used to sit out and watch them take off and land from a small airfield near our house. No one else I knew loved airplanes as much as I did. It's what kept me going when my parents would fight. I would pretend I was in my airplane, piloting it to the stars."

"That is very sad, Fox."

Mulder shrugged, "It wasn't so bad. When I grew up, I made my friends." Mulder's eyes glazed over for a second, then he looked up at Krycek. "That day in the woods, that was Pendrell, wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"You're going to miss him terribly, aren't you?"

Krycek sighed, "He was more than my best friend; he was like my brother. We grew up together, our houses next to each other. When my family got killed in the war, Pendrell was the one who comforted me and made sure I was well. He even came with me to join the army."

Krycek put his head in his hands for a second then looked up at Mulder. "We killed people together, Pendrell and I. We killed many, side by side." He took another breath then continued. "There was a man called Reinhard Heydrich. He was Himmler's deputy and head of the SD, which is the security arm of the SS. He was ruthless; if anyone was famed for killing, it was him. Well, Hitler decided to reward Heydrich for his duties and made him Governor of the Czech Republic in 1941. He was assassinated soon after by British-trained Czech agents. Hitler was not pleased. He sent many troops to the village of Lidice and killed every man, woman and child in that town as revenge. Pendrell and I were there, killing people, anyone not in a German uniform. It was brutal, all day, all night, bodies, blood, screaming. It was awful. At the end, Pendrell and I shared an entire bottle of whiskey we had found and drank ourselves into oblivion."

Krycek looked down at the floor. "It was a massacre, senseless and brutal. Pendrell and I, just...just killing people because we were told to do so. I rationalized what we were doing was okay because Pendrell was doing it with me. He always protected me and would never let me do anything that would endanger myself or that was wrong."

Krycek put his head in his hands again, for a moment, before speaking again. "Now I realize it was wrong...but we were just trying to survive and follow orders..." He looked up at Mulder. "It was just war. You pick a side, or it picks you, and you do what that side says."

Mulder reached out and took Alex in his arms and just held him, kissing his hair.

Alex held on to Mulder tightly; he loved how he could tell this man anything, exorcise the demons of his past life. Finally, he pulled away, grateful again that Mulder was here.

"So tell me about your friends."

"What friends?"

"You said that when you got older you made friends. Tell me about them."

"There isn't much to tell, really. There were a few guys in college I played basketball and socialized with. After that, I went into the Air Force." Mulder stopped and took a deep breath before continuing. "There is one person that has been my best friend for six years now. I'm very close...was very close to this person. But now I'm never going to see this person again, and it's for the best. I could never be the same person I used to be. I can never go back to America."

"What was this fellow's name?"

"Dana." Mulder swallowed. He knew Alex wouldn't be pleased.

"Dana? But that's a girl's name..." Krycek drifted off for a second before continuing. "Fox, are you married?"

"No. No, not yet. I'm engaged. Was engaged. Our wedding was to be this spring."

Jealous rage built up inside Alex. "You are engaged, and you did not tell me! What were you going to do, travel with me to Argentina and leave me there? Go back to her?"

"No. I...I don't want to go back there. I don't want her; I want you."

"How can I be sure you won't be wanting this girl? How can I be sure that you won't leave me? Do you still love her?" Krycek's face was red with rage.

"I don't..." Mulder stood and paced around the room for a minute before crouching before Krycek. "I don't love her in a way that most men love women. She was my best friend, so everyone expected us to get married. Men and women aren't friends unless they are involved. I thought...." Mulder raked his hand through his hair. "I just wanted to make her happy. Then I met you. You make me happy."

"You said you loved me, Fox."

"I do love you, Alex."

Krycek stood up in front of Mulder, who also rose to face him. He was seething. "You are mine, Fox Mulder, never doubt that! You belong to me and no one else!"

Mulder could see the rage and hurt in his eyes. He knew he should have never mentioned Dana, but he didn't want to keep secrets from Alex. He wanted to be able to share everything with him. His pulse quickened as Krycek's eyes narrowed and got that look that meant someone was about to be punished. He secretly hungered for that look because when Alex wore it, it meant that he was concentrating on Mulder to the exclusion of all else.

Krycek reached over and ripped open Mulder's shirt, the buttons flying everywhere. "I will show you. I will show you just how much you belong to me. No one is allowed to touch you or to love you but me!"

Krycek ripped off the remainder of Mulder's clothes, throwing them into a heap on the floor. He pushed Mulder down on all fours before quickly removing his own garments.

Mulder was trembling; he knew what was going to happen, and it excited him. His cock was quite hard, his nipples stiff as he waited for his lover to mount him. Not only did he love it when Alex was wild, but he was also incredibly frustrated. Krycek hadn't taken him since before they got to the ship, saying that Mulder needed time to heal fully from the attack. He was desperate to feel his lover inside him. This was the longest they had gone without making love since the first time Krycek took him back in the prison. He arched his back and thrust his ass back enticingly at Krycek.

Krycek liberally wet two fingers with saliva before pressing one against Mulder's tight opening. Mulder groaned at the sensation and waited impatiently as Krycek prepared him, the second finger sliding easily beside the first. Krycek's other hand ran down Mulder's back and around to his front, pinching his nipples, playing with his cock and balls.

Mulder sucked in his breath as Krycek's hands skimmed over his balls, making the pre-cum flow from his cock. He then felt him scoop up the pre-cum and knew he was lubricating his cock with it. Mulder quivered as he felt Krycek's hand on his hip and then the large member pressing against his opening. He moaned at the initial penetration then sighed as he felt his lover start to thrust in and out of him. It felt so good that Mulder couldn't hold back a cry of pleasure, which brought a growl from Alex. But it still wasn't enough; he lowered his shoulders to the floor in a submissive posture that let Alex go even deeper inside him.

Alex rode Mulder hard; he needed to be reminded who was in charge, who was the one in control. He leaned over his lover, hips still pumping, his hands wandering over Mulder's body.

"Do you love me, Fox?"

"Yes."

"Will you love another?"

"No." Mulder groaned.

"Of course you won't. You want to come, don't you, Fox?"

"Yes," Mulder wailed, "please, let me come." He bucked against Alex, trying to force him deeper still.

"Not yet, Fox," Krycek hissed in his ear. "You don't come until I say you can. Do you understand me?"

Mulder nodded frantically, desperate to come, so close it was torture to try to hold back. But if that was what Alex wanted, that was what he would do.

Krycek listened to Mulder's near hysterical whimpers, loving the sound and knowing that Mulder didn't even realize he was making a sound. The smile that crossed Krycek's face at that moment would have been very familiar to the former inhabitants of Lidice. "Who do you belong to?"

"You! I belong to you, Alex! I love you!"

Mulder's declaration of love made Alex realize what he was doing to the man he loved. He could see tear tracks on the cheek visible to him, and Mulder's fists were clenched as he held back his orgasm by sheer willpower. Krycek groaned in dismay at how easily he had fallen back into hurting Mulder, and he ran a hand soothingly over Mulder's back. He nipped at Mulder's shoulder then reached down and grabbed onto his large cock. "Come for me now, Fox. I want to feel you come," he whispered. Pumping in time with his thrusts, he drove harder and harder until he felt Mulder convulse around him and heard him moan his name. Then Alex came with a loud cry.

They collapsed, Alex still embedded inside Mulder. He didn't pull out, but rather fell out of him after he was soft. He arranged the blankets and motioned for Mulder to come and lie with him. He caressed Mulder's back and shoulders, noticing the bite mark he had left behind.

"Will you leave me, Fox?"

"No, I'll never leave you, Alex. I love you." Mulder kissed Alex, his tongue sweeping the inside of the other man's mouth. They lingered for awhile, tasting each other before Mulder pulled free and put his head back on Alex's chest.

"Go to sleep now," Alex said. An uneasy feeling came over him just then. If they were going to be together and living a normal life, he could not treat Mulder this way. He kissed Mulder's temple, noticing he was starting to nod off.

No, they needed to act like a normal couple, not as captor and captive. He could not fly into a jealous rage at the mention of a girl who lived thousands of miles away. Didn't Fox pledge his love to me? I should believe his pledge, not question him. No, I must undo what I have done. I must give him back his independence.

Krycek sighed and thought about what he must do most of the night. Finally, he slept for a few hours before waking and putting his new plan into action.

xx

Mulder awoke to a fully dressed Alex, smoking a cigarette. He furrowed his brow at the smell. Alex never had cigarettes, except for after dinner; that was their custom.

"Good morning," Mulder said hesitantly.

"Actually I'm not sure what time it is, as I do not know where we are," Alex smiled, "but for the sake of argument, good morning."

Mulder put his clothes on then padded down to the W/C. He came back and sat down again, letting out a big sigh.

"What is it?"

"Nothing."

"It is definitely something. Come, tell me."

Mulder looked at Alex, debating whether he should say what he really wanted to say, or make something up. He bit his lower lip then shook his head. "It's nothing; I'm just a little stiff."

Alex took the last drag on his cigarette then stubbed it out. He went over to Mulder and sat before him, tilting his head up to meet his gaze. "You know, Mulder, I treated you very harshly yesterday, I'm sorry."

Mulder's eyes widened, and he shook his head. "No, no, it's my fault. I should have told you about Dana earlier; I deserved it."

Alex closed his eyes briefly then looked back down at his lover. His hazel eyes were so full of trust, of sorrow that he had done wrong. What have I done to this man? "No, Mulder, it was wrong for me to treat you as if you were still my prisoner. You are now my lover, we are equals, and I should treat you as such."

Mulder looked at Alex uneasily, then nervously licked his lower lip. "But I did something wrong, I made you angry. If you don't punish me, how am I going to learn?"

Alex smiled and took Mulder's hands in his own. He could see this was going to be a long process. "Look, Fox, I don't want to be that way anymore. I want you to be able to be open with me, to tell me what you are thinking. And when I go too far, I want you to tell me and not be afraid."

Mulder's eyes looked hurt as he knit his brows together. "You always have sex with me afterwards, make me feel better."

Alex sighed, still smiling. "Doesn't it hurt you when I do it afterwards? I want to make love to you all the time, not just fuck you. Can you tell the difference?"

"But you always make love to me...don't you? Do you...do you love me?"

Alex grabbed Mulder and crushed him to his chest, stroking his hair. "Of course I love you. I love you with all my heart and soul."

Mulder smiled to himself. He knew Alex loved him; that was why he punished him. If he didn't love him, he wouldn't try to make him do the right thing.

Alex sighed inwardly. Yes, it was going to take a very long time to make Mulder feel like an equal. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

Alex pulled back, looked at his lover and ran his thumb across his lower lip. "Tell me, please," he said softly.

Mulder shifted uneasily, "Well, I was wondering why you were smoking; we usually have a cigarette after dinner together. It's not like you to break one of your habits." Mulder licked his lips again and looked at the floor. "And I was thinking that I was just getting kind of..." he drifted off.

"Yes?"

"I love spending all my time with you. Ever since you took me to live with you in your home, I never want anything but to be with you."

"But."

"But I'm getting weary of this journey. I...I..."

"You're bored."

"No. You don't bore me at all."

"I'm bored too. It will be another few days before our journey ends. I was hoping it would have been over by now, but the ship obviously took precautions and changed their route to avoid patrols."

Mulder looked relieved; he had been expecting Alex to fly off the handle again for his previous remark.

"As for the cigarette, I felt like having one. You can have one too."

"No. I'll wait until it's time, after dinner."

"If you want one, you can just take one. They are in my bag, in the outside compartment."

"No. I'll wait."

Alex nodded and sat back against the wall. Mulder was right; this was boring. They had exhausted all conversation, and after the incident yesterday, he didn't want to continue their knife training right away. They just sat there, dozing, leaning against each other. A listless feeling came over them, too lazy to even have sex.

The man came with their nightly meal, this time just beans. They ate, then Alex lit their customary cigarette. He passed it to Mulder after taking a drag. Mulder passed it back.

"No, you have it."

"Don't you want it?"

"No. I don't feel like it right now."

Mulder nervously licked his lower lip.

"Really, Mulder, I don't want it. You have it, it's yours."

Mulder looked at Alex again who gave him a smile. He then sat back and finished the cigarette on his own.

Then there was a knock on the door. It was the now Captain Burkholder.

"Gentlemen, glad to see you are still with us. Thank you for taking precautions and not doing anything wrong when the patrols were on board." He looked both men in the eye, an amused look on his face. "We are almost done our journey, gentlemen; in two days we will be in Argentina. We will land at night to keep ourselves under cover. I will flick the light on and off when we land, and you will have ten minutes to gather your belongings and leave. Do you understand?"

Alex nodded his head, "Yes."

"Good. Have a nice life, gentlemen."

Burkholder turned and left, shutting the door behind him.

Alex hugged Mulder. "Two more days and we can start our new life, together." Two more days and we can forget about the past, about the war. Two more days and I can help you realize that you are a man with opinions and feelings. Two more days and everything will be perfect.

xx

The next day started out as the one before, Mulder waking to see Alex dressed and waiting for him. He had his bag open and his clothes draped over various barrels and boxes in the supply room.

"Good morning, my love," Alex said as he dropped a kiss on Mulder's lips.

"Good morning." Mulder looked at the clothes then got dressed, went to the W/C and came back. He found Alex pacing in front of the small selection of clothing.

"What do you think, Mulder?"

"About what?"

"The clothes. I am undecided on what to wear the night we land. Do you have a preference?"

"No. Whatever you feel comfortable in."

"I need your help. Please tell me what you think."

Mulder looked at Alex then at the selection before him. He crossed his arms across his chest and bit his lower lip. "Well, the blue shirt is nice; it goes well with your grey pants. But then the white shirt goes with the light brown."

"Yes, that's what I thought. But what would look best?"

Mulder thought for a moment before looking at Alex, who gave him a grin. He then came over to stand beside him and look over the selections again. He grabbed Mulder's hand and squeezed. "Come on, Fox, what do you think?"

"Um, I...It's summer, right?"

"Yes."

"Then I would go with the white shirt and light brown pants."

Alex squeezed his hand again and smiled. "Excellent choice, I will put them aside and hang them over the barrels so the wrinkles will have time to leave them. What about you?" Alex got to work, carefully arranging his garments.

"Me?"

"What are you going to wear?"

"I hadn't thought about it."

"Well you should. This is going to be your new home, you want to make a good impression, right?"

"I guess so."

"Come, Mulder, this is exciting! Not many people get to start over."

Mulder smiled. Alex was right; he should be happy that Alex chose him to come along with him and did not leave him behind. He got his own bag out and draped the contents over the barrels.

Mulder looked at the clothing displayed before him for a moment before turning to Alex. "What do you suggest?"

"Me? Mulder, you did such a good job choosing for me, you should choose for yourself."

Mulder looked back at the clothes for a few minutes, mentally putting the combinations together. "Well, like I said, it's summer."

"Yes."

"So, I think the light blue shirt and the light grey pants would look okay."

"Okay? It would look marvelous." Alex walked over to Mulder and held his chin in his hands. "We are going to be the best looking men in Buenos Aires, thanks to you." He kissed Mulder, feeling it down to his knees. No one he ever kissed could do it like Mulder.

He pulled back and smiled. "Now, we need haircuts."

"Haircuts?"

"Yes and a shave."

"How are we going to get a haircut?"

"I have scissors in my bag; we can do each other's."

"You want me to cut your hair?"

"Yes, and I will cut yours. It is not hard, Mulder; just make it short, but even."

Mulder busied himself with putting the clothes away that he was not going to wear and draping the others over the supplies as Alex had.

He finished his task to see Alex holding a pair of scissors and a comb. "Do you want to be the barber first or second?"

Mulder shrugged.

Alex knew Mulder wasn't going to come out of his shell right away. "Come on, you can be first. I promise I will be gentle with you."

Mulder smirked and sat on the floor, Alex kneeling behind him. "Take off your shirt so it does not get full of hair."

Mulder complied.

Alex combed Mulder's hair, remarking at how soft it still was, even with their limited diet and facilities. He cut the hair along the same line it was cut already, paying attention to the neckline, trying to shorten, yet not have spots that were shorter than the other. He trimmed the top and front, careful to leave the bangs that he adored so much when they flopped onto his forehead. Then he was finished.

"There. You look very nice, see for yourself." He gave Mulder the very small hand-mirror that he had managed to tuck away in his bag.

"Looks great."

"My turn," Alex said as he took his own shirt off. He sat before Mulder, back to him, ready for him to start.

Mulder took the comb and scissors in his hands. "I'm not so sure about this."

"Why?"

"What if I make a mistake? What if you don't like it. What if..."

"Fox, you will do fine."

Mulder bit his lower lip; he was doing that a lot lately. He took a deep breath and started combing Alex's short hair. He trimmed along the top, around the ears and finally the neckline. He was sweating and barely breathing, concentrating heavily on each snip. Finally, he sat back and looked at his work. It wasn't too bad.

"I'm done."

"Let's have a look." Alex took the mirror and admired Mulder's work. It had taken him the better part of an hour to do the trim. It was perfect; an actual barber couldn't have done a better job. "Excellent, Fox. Perhaps a new profession awaits you?" He grinned at his lover then stood, brushing the hair from him. "Come, let's shave. I will need you to hold up the mirror for me."

Alex gathered his shaving kit from his bag, filling the soap lid with water. Mulder held the mirror for him, watching him squint and jog his head around to be seen in the tiny surface. "It's no good. We're going to have to shave each other."

Mulder's eyes grew wide. "Really?"

"Yes, I cannot see a thing in that mirror." He held the shaving brush out to Mulder.

Mulder took the shaving brush and finished coating Alex's face with the soap. He then took the razor in his hand, feeling the weight of it. He couldn't afford to make a mistake here; one false move and he would cut his lover, something he didn't want to do again.

"If you need me to move my head, tell me."

Mulder nodded and moved closer. Alex could feel his breath on his face, smell his scent. His cock jumped when Mulder touched his face, gently turning it in the dim light, to see where to shave. He closed his eyes as the first stroke of the razor slowly swept the stubble away, almost letting out a moan at the sensual feeling of another man shaving him. He opened his eyes and looked at Mulder, who was intently focusing on the task at hand. He gasped, then closed his eyes again as another stroke of the razor ran across his cheek.

He kept his eyes closed the whole time, feeling Mulder's gentle touch upon his face, tilting it this way and that. The razor scraped over his cheeks, his chin, his neck. His cock was growing harder and harder with every stroke. He could feel the devotion, the love radiating from Mulder. It was such a turn-on knowing that he evoked such adoration and trust.

When Mulder stopped and started to wipe the excess soap away with a small towel, he regretted it was over. He grabbed Mulder's hand when he was done and brought it up to feel the smoothness that was now there. Mulder turned his hand around and caressed Alex's cheek with the back of his hand.

Alex reached across and stroked the stubble Mulder still had. He then brought him in for a kiss, tender and full of love. Slowly, his hands came to caress Mulder's back and up to his shoulders, Mulder returning the motions.

His tongue entered his lover's mouth, probing, searching, dancing with the tongue inside. Then he pulled away and started kissing down Mulder's neck, the stubble rough on his now smooth skin.

Mulder sighed and leaned back so he was lying on the floor, Alex over him, licking and sucking his nipples. He moaned as Alex tugged at one with his teeth then nipped down to his belly. He could feel Alex move back up, licking and sucking his way to his mouth, hungry kisses devouring his lips. Suddenly, he was flipped over so he was on top.

"Make love to me, Fox. I need to feel you inside me." Alex caressed his face, his eyes blazing a bright green.

Mulder smiled and smoothed Alex's hair, caressing down his temple to his cheek then farther down still until he reached a nipple where he started squeezing. What a treat it was to be allowed to love this man. He delighted when Alex arched up into the pinch, moaning, wanting more.

Mulder followed the trail his hand just took with his tongue, sucking and licking his way down to the hard nub. His mouth came tight around the nipple, sucking and teasing with his teeth.

Alex grabbed onto Mulder's shoulders, his fingers digging in as his other nipple was caressed, bitten and teased to hardness.

Mulder moved down lower, snaking a trail with his tongue down his chest and abdomen until he reached the waistband of Alex's trousers. Quickly, they were removed, leaving Alex naked before him. He had lost some weight; his ribs were visible, but just barely. Mulder also noticed his face was a little gaunt; after he shaved him, his cheekbones prominent. Looking up, as if asking permission, he met Alex's gaze before removing the remainder of his own clothing.

He kissed Alex on the mouth before going back to his next destination. Spreading Alex's legs, Mulder looked at the erect cock glistening with pre-cum before breathing in Alex's scent, his own cock twitching, ready to take action.

He knelt between his lover's legs and started to kiss a trail from Alex's belly to the dark curls at his groin. He nuzzled his cock with the stubble that still had to be removed from his chin and teasingly kissed the tip of it, bringing off a stream of pre-cum which he lapped up hungrily.

Alex felt Mulder bathe his cock with his tongue, lapping over the shaft, sucking at the head that poked out of the foreskin. He let out a loud moan of pleasure as Mulder began to take his length into his mouth slowly, swirling his tongue around.

One hand went down to caress Alex's balls, feeling the hairs that covered the sac, then down further to his opening. Alex willingly brought his knees up to allow Mulder better access.

Mulder brought his mouth off of Alex's cock for a brief second to coat two fingers with his saliva and the pre-cum that was in his mouth. Alex did not resist as one finger teased, then gained entrance to his body. Mulder could feel Alex's pulse quicken and pulled his mouth off his cock before he came. He looked up at the expression of love on his face, his eyes half closed, his lips red with passion.

Two fingers were inside Alex, stretching him wide, caressing his prostate. He writhed against those fingers, wanting so much more inside him. He had broken out into a sweat and was moaning an incoherent stream of German and English.

Mulder smiled down at his lover, he was so beautiful when he was in the throes of passion. He scooped up the spot of pre-cum that had reappeared on the tip of Alex's cock and mingled it with his own to slick up his own penis. He added some saliva, hoping he would not hurt his lover. He brought Alex's legs to rest upon his shoulders before slowly entering the hot channel.

Alex threw his head back against the small bundle of clothes that made his pillow. He hissed at the initial invasion but soon relaxed. He saw the love and devotion in Mulder's eyes as he was slowly penetrated, his thighs caressed, his chest stroked.

Finally, Mulder was fully embedded inside his lover. He bent down to capture a kiss before wrapping his arms around him and slowly moving in and out.

Alex moaned and kissed Mulder again and again. How he loved this sensation, how he relished the gentleness his lover had with him.

"Oh Fox. Yes, my love, you make me feel so good."

Mulder kissed Alex one more time before moving up to pump faster and harder.

"God, yes, Fox." Alex moaned, the feeling almost more than he could bear.

Mulder pumped faster inside his lover, moving one hand down to stroke his cock. Alex came immediately, with a cry, coating them both with semen. Mulder tightly wrapped his arms around Alex, grinding his cock between their torsos, making Alex come again as he came himself, pumping hard, milking his cock of the fluid. He collapsed on top of Alex, breathing heavily, feeling kisses on his shoulders.

They were joined for what seemed like an eternity until Mulder pulled out of Alex, grabbing the small towel to clean them up. He spread one of the blankets on the floor, where they lay, embraced, for a long time, dozing, wrapped in each other's warmth.

Finally, Alex moved. "We should not sleep all day; we must be ready for tomorrow." He kissed Mulder on his tired lips, barely gaining a kiss back.

Mulder moaned but sat up just the same.

Alex smirked at the sight of his lover, his eyes tired, still groggy. He smelled of sex and sweat, which made Alex's cock twitch. He ignored the stirring down below and moved to put on his clothes.

Alex smirked then kissed his lover again. "Come, it is my turn to shave you." His eyes glittered. "Then I shall give you a sponge bath."

xx

The next day was filled with nervous pacing and jumpiness, both men anxious for this journey to come to an end. They would look at each other with hope and happiness, hugging each other fiercely, not wanting to make love for fear of missing their signal. Finally, the lights flickered on and off.

"Come, this is our ten minute warning. Strip out of your clothes, and put the ones you have laid out on." Alex nearly punched himself for that remark. He was supposed to let Mulder do things for himself. The heat of the moment caught me up. I will not do it again.

Soon they were dressed in their fresh clothes, bags in their hands, looking each other over.

"Do we pass?" Alex asked.

"I think we look pretty good. I was thinking, we should just leave the winter gear here; we won't need it, and it might draw attention to us."

Alex nearly clapped his hands at that remark. "Yes, good idea. Are you ready?"

"Yes, I'm ready."

Alex kissed Mulder quickly and squeezed his hand. "Let's see our new home."

xx

Part Six

orithain@aol.com
nicxf@softhome.net

Rating: NC-17 for bad language, violence and m/m sex.
Orithain may be reached at orithain@aol.com
Nicole at nicxf@softhome.net
Spoilers: None.
Disclaimer: They don't belong to us, they belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and Fox. Please don't sue us.
***Warning: Violence, nonconsensual sex, along with general Nazi nastiness. A squick for bloodletting.***
Comments: If you like our usual schmoop, you're not going to find it in this series. This is pretty heavy stuff, don't say we didn't warn you.

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