There we were; guns drawn, safeties off, all of us ready to shoot first and
ask questions later, and out of the blue Alex comes out with, "Why don't you
guys take five and let me talk to Mulder. Alone."
I could tell Skinner wanted to say something particularly nasty but his
common sense must have kicked in because he just clamped his jaw tight and
scowled behind his glasses. I guess he thought Alex still had that palm
pilot. Which, of course, he did.
Spineless, gutless wonder. How he ever made it to Assistant Director is
beyond me.
Just about that time our newest basement dweller decided it was time to
stand his ground. "Hey, Krycek, why don't you—"
"Agent Doggett."
It was merely a warning, nothing more. Weeks earlier I'd promised Scully
that I'd play nicely with the guy. I don't know what it is about him but he
just annoys the shit right out of me.
Alex should have known better than to mess with him in that garage. He's got
that "by the books" demeanor written all over his face.
From somewhere in the recesses of my mind Scully's voice whispered its
gentle reminder about how he's not so bad, and worth the effort, etc., but
I'm still hard pressed to find any redeeming qualities. Well, except for his
tenacity. Now that I like.
Doggett and I locked eyes.
I won.
And then there was Scully, her arms wrapped protectively around her belly,
shielding her unborn child. A miracle child, soon to be born of a barren
mother. A perfectly normal child. Too perfect for life. Not too perfect for
death. The implications weren't lost on me, or on anyone else for that
matter. Was it mine? Did it even matter in the whole scheme of things?
Probably not.
Scully just stared ahead and mouthed a silent prayer.
Alex's voice broke the heavy silence.
"Five minutes, boys, that's all I'm asking. I mean it's not like I can
actually go anywhere. And you know I won't shoot you, right Mulder?"
Patented smirk firmly in place, his eyes allowing just enough emotion. It
was a nice show of control on his part and certainly true enough; his back
was to the wall in more ways than one.
Someone pulled an invisible string and three pairs of eyes turned to me. The
ball had been firmly lobbed into my court.
Hell yes, give me five minutes with him.
Give me more.
Give me a night.
Give me the rest of my miserable existence, no matter how short that may be.
"I'll be fine."
I really didn't care if they wondered how I could be so sure. They didn't
know about the times we took turns fucking each other through the mattress
or the regret that followed each tryst. He was more than the cold-blooded
assassin they painted.
He was...more.
He wouldn't shoot; of that I was absolutely certain.
Behind closed doors we faced off. "And you're trying to accomplish...what is
it again? Oh right, save all of humanity. Pardon me while I choke. What's in
it for you, because this isn't the Alex Krycek I know."
"Christ, Mulder, I could build a fucking house out of the stones you've
thrown through the years. Would you just listen to me for once—"
"Is it mine?"
I had to ask even though I knew the answer.
Staring hard into my soul, his lips held their tight line and remained
silent.
Just as well, I would have made a lousy father anyway. It runs in the
family.
"I'm listening. Sell it to me."
And he did. In graphic detail. When he finished all I could do was stand
there, speechless.
"Look, the longer we dick around in here, the less time any of us have. Read
the map, Mulder, it says, 'You are here', and here is ground zero. Billy
Miles isn't dead, he's out there and he's coming back, and maybe not alone."
The hair on my arms prickled like it does right before a good electrical
storm. There's just something about being with Alex and being in danger. One
heartbeat later the distance between his mouth and mine disappeared. It felt
good kissing him again. I'd missed that mouth. It made me feel alive.
"There's no time for this, Mulder."
He wasn't very convincing in his protest so I dug deep into his jeans and
was amply rewarded by warmth and hard muscle, and the quietly strangled moan
that followed a moment later.
We were pressed chest to chest. His breath felt warm against my cheek. "Is
there time now?"
"No."
It was barely a word, even less than a whisper. More like the sensation of a
whisper, and buried within was the sound of disappointment.
I don't know why but I had to check; I skimmed my hands lightly over the
back of his neck. It wasn't the most subtle move I'd ever made. I just had
to be certain. Who's to say those little bastards weren't still in him?
Who's to say one or two weren't laying in wait for the right time to rise
and strike?
I found nothing but smooth skin and taut muscle. An apology would have only
made the act worse. I kept silent and waited.
Angry eyes glowed, his mouth was ruthless and yet at the same time oddly
forgiving for the supposed violation of...trust? Hardly trust, but a
violation nonetheless.
We ended breathless and wanting more, but time was of the essence.
Doubts started to slam through.
Why should I believe him? It's not as if he had a stellar record for telling
the truth. I sure as hell didn't want to trust him on blind faith. I had no
business gambling with Scully's life. Fucking him was one thing but this was
completely different.
"Tick tick, Mulder. We need to move."
The question was whether to move with you or away from you?
I wondered if it would be better to take chances with Skinner and Doggett,
and whatever army they could dredge up. Scully trusted them. She was
comfortable with them. Here I was deciding her fate and she had no say.
"How are we going to get out of here?" I knew. I just wanted to hear his
version.
"I can get you, Scully and me out, and I don't give a shit about the other
two. The question is are you willing to walk out there with a gun drawn and
fire on them? If worse comes to worse, are you willing to die for her? For
me? Can you trust that I'll take care of her, keep her safe? Can you believe
that I would die for you and, yes, Scully, too? Because they don't, and
they'll try to stop us. They don't know me like you do. So, how far are you
willing to go, Mulder? I need to know."
Funny, I'd never thought of Alex as the lesser of any evil.
With well-practiced detachment he continued.
"If we clear the building I can get us to a safe place. It's stocked and
livable. There's a doctor I trust, when—if—Scully goes into labor I'll
call him. I know he'll come without question."
I wanted to believe.
I had to believe.
One more kiss, forceful and crushing, the type that in any other time and
place would've had us tearing at each other's clothes.
In any other time and place...
"You ready, Mulder?"
Am I ready to follow the devil and walk into hell?
"Yeah, let's go."
Living in a Moment You Could Die For
by Phyre
Even now, a little over 30 minutes later, one hand ready to push open the
door, the other holding my weapon, I'm still amazed I didn't laugh out loud
when I heard his request. Calm and direct; so typically Alex.
