Mulder sighed and dropped down on the bed. Things had been getting too hot
to handle. Scully had been right in one sense. He had been set up to believe
the lie. This 'alien' he was ready to expose to the public had been a hoax.
Deep in his heart he knew it. But Scully also had been set up to believe the
lie. Just because this turned out to be a hoax did not mean that all the
cases he researched were.
He had almost believed the lie, until a strange thought had crossed his
mind. What if he was being set up to be eliminated? Perhaps he was too close
to a truth that someone did not want him to have. 'Kritchgau,' who came in
looking like himself and then morphed into the long lost twin brother Mulder
never had, returned later to his apartment, and Mulder had been waiting,
with the strange weapon he had found in the Mulder summer home clenched in
his fist. A stab to the base of the skull, and a bullet to the temple angled
down to hide the first wound completed Mulder's hoax, the lie he wanted the
Cigarette Smoking Man to believe. This 'alien' seemed to tend more towards
human characteristics, and bled red instead of green, a great piece of luck
as far as Mulder was concerned.
On the ubiquitous dresser that all motels seemed to have, Mulder spotted the
video tape. He picked it up, turning it over in his fingers. [The Lone
Gunmen, dependable as usual.] It was common knowledge that Mulder's
apartment was bugged, but some people would be surprised to find out that he
had placed half the bugs there himself. There was at least one hidden camera
in every room, covering most of the floor space. It was a way he could keep
tabs on exactly who was breaking into his apartment.
Mulder wondered who was on the tape this time. The Gunmen had promised to
monitor his equipment, after arranging for him to disappear for a while. The
last tape had been of Scully discovering 'his' body. That had been a knife
to the gut. [I'll make it up to her,] he promised himself. But now he
couldn't let her know that he was safe and sound. Her belief in his lie was
essential to his plan. But the pain in her "Yes, that's him," and the look
in her eyes had torn him apart. [I am a son of a bitch.]
He placed the tape in the VCR he had rented and pressed play. The first
scene was a shot of his front door from inside the apartment, taken by the
camera hidden in the wall clock. The door inched open and an all too
familiar face poked out from behind it, casing the place. [Krycek!] Mulder
growled mentally, his hands balling into fists. He studied his former
partner and lover, wondering what document or bit of evidence Krycek had
come to retrieve. But oddly enough, Krycek seemed uninterested in the
paperwork that was strewn about. He walked to the couch, stopping short of
the spot where 'Mulder' died. He stood there for several minutes, giving
Mulder a chance to study him. Krycek looked every bit as fit as he had in
Tunguska, but had a tired, dirty, hang dog look. His leather jacket was
draped over his shoulder, threatening to spill to the floor at any moment.
But it was Krycek's pale worn face that Mulder was drawn to. Krycek stood
there breathing heavily, shaking in his effort to keep himself from crying.
Mulder was stunned to see such different from the smart ass look he was used
to seeing on his ex-lover when dealing with him recently. [It's an act,]
Mulder thought. [Krycek thinks I'm alive. He knows that the apartments
bugged. This is just some slick game he's playing to get me to come out of
hiding.] But in the back of his mind, he couldn't get over how beautiful
Krycek looked in his sorrow.
He had been attracted to Krycek from the moment Mulder had seen him in that
ridiculously fitting suit, just as he had been attracted to Scully. But she
hadn't responded to his double entendres. Krycek had made them before he
even had even know him a day. But it would be too dangerous to start a
homosexual relationship under the Bureau's collective nose, let alone the
Consortium. There had been an air of innocence about Krycek, a naivete that
Mulder had long ago shed and he found appealing. But time had changed both
men, hardening them. Mulder sometimes wondered if Krycek ever mourned the
death of what might have been. [I doubt the rat bastard wouldn't recognize
an honest emotion even if it bit him on the ass.]
The door opened a second time. A resigned look crossed Krycek's face,
expecting an assassin's bullet to enter his back. Then the cocky mask fell
back into place. Mulder tore his eyes away from Krycek to look at who had
stepped into the room. He found himself staring at Scully, who had come in
with gun drawn and trained on Krycek. [Shoot him!] Mulder mentally screamed.
But Scully didn't fire. She stood there with a bead drawn on Krycek and said
something. Mulder cursed the fact that he hadn't gotten the sound fixed on
his bug, having been more concerned with who was in the apartment than the
conversations going on in it. He jabbed violently at the remote's volume
key, cranking it up all the way. It didn't help much. Mulder could still
only hear faint fragments of the conversation—"...last respects...."
"...no respect...undiscovered...." "...wrong...expose them."
Mulder gasped as the leather jacket fell away from Krycek's body. He
clenched his left hand unconsciously, a wave of pity and tenderness washing
over him. [Oh, Alex! What did they do to you?] Mulder had come dangerously
close to losing his left arm while in Tunguska. It had taken some fast
talking to keep the gulag's truck driver from performing the impromptu
amputation. But obviously Krycek hadn't been so lucky. Mulder shook his
head, disgusted with himself. [This man was involved with my partner's
abduction and the killing of her sister and killed my father.] But all
Mulder wanted to do was gather Krycek in his arms, and comfort him, the same
way he had been comforted by Krycek.
Having an photographic memory had a price. Almost without volition, he
thought back to the night after Scully had disappeared. Skinner had ordered
him to go home and get some rest, and not bother to come into work the next
day. Mulder had complied with the letter of the law, but not the spirit.
Mulder planned to hit the streets after plotting some strategy. He had
sources that weren't connected with the FBI after all. He had come home,
changed clothes, and sat down. That is as far as he made it before he was
overwhelmed with exhaustion and grief. He could only think one thought.
[I failed her. Just like I failed Samantha.]
Mulder sat there, repeating that thought. The semi-darkness of twilight gave
way to darkness and still Mulder sat unmoving. After several hours of
meditating on his newly found mantra, he heard the knock on the door, but
ignored it. "I know you're in there, Mulder. You're car's on the street. I'm
not going away until I know you're okay." Mulder still made no move. "You're
leaving me no choice, Mulder. I will stand out here all night and yell at
the top of my lungs pretending to be your jilted lover until you open the
door."
Hazel eyes shut in exasperation. Mulder wanted to be left alone in his
misery. And why did Krycek exacerbate his pain by always seeming to make
references to a relationship that never could be? "Key's on the frame,
Alex."
Krycek opened the door. "You're paranoid about people breaking into your
apartment and keep a key on the frame?"
"If they want in bad enough, they'll get in," Mulder said. "You've seen I'm
okay. Now leave."
"No such luck, Mulder. Skinner asked me to make sure you do nothing
foolish." Krycek walked over to the refrigerator, opening the door. "You're
always watching the skies to discover new life forms. Ever thing about
looking in your fridge? Geez, Mulder, when was the last time you cleaned it
out?"
"Maid's century off," was the curt reply. "Why the hell are you here, Alex?
Why do you care?"
Krycek looked back at Mulder, eyes inscrutable. "I'm your partner."
"You may not want the job, given how most of my partners end up." The words
were delivered without heat, Mulder being too heartsick to put any bite into
his voice. "Go the hell home."
Krycek shook his head. "Uh-uh. My orders are to take care of you Mulder. And
I always obey orders." He sat down on the couch next to his partner. "Now
tell me what's wrong."
Mulder stared at his lap. So far Krycek had been trustworthy, and shown more
inclination to believe him than any of his other partners or coworkers. "I
know who took Scully and why."
Krycek's jaw dropped. "W-who? Why?"
Mulder looked up into Krycek's eyes with an earnestness that scared the
young man. "My sister was taken from me when I was twelve. I have reason to
believe that forces not of this world were involved. I have been searching
for Samantha ever since then and the X-Files seemed to be a natural way to
find her." Mulder paused, unable to continue.
Krycek filled in the rest of the story. "And the forces that be don't want
you uncovering certain facts. So they took Scully, probably to remind you of
Samantha and drive you over the edge." Krycek laid a hand on Mulder's
shoulder, eyes filled with concern. "Don't let them break you, Mulder. Don't
let them win." Mulder slowly turned stared at Krycek, hazel eyes transfixing
green. Krycek reached out and pushed an unruly lock of Mulder's hair off his
forehead. "It's going to be okay," Krycek said softly.
The stress of the day had crumbled the last of Mulder's inhibitions. With
the swiftness of a diving hawk, Mulder dove for Krycek's mouth. Horrified,
he pulled away after a split second's contact with Krycek's hot, silky lips.
[Oh shit! I did not just do that!] Mulder had been discrete before and this
was the first time he had slipped, betraying how much he was attracted to
the man before him. But before he could begin to voice an apology, Krycek's
mouth had engulfed Mulder's, his tongue demanding entrance. The contact
wiped his mind clean of his worries about Scully. The darker haired man
wrapped his arms around Mulder and straddled his lap, pressing groins
together. Mulder's whimper was answered with one of Krycek's moan.
Mulder eventually pulled away from their kiss to trail his lips down
Krycek's neck. "Do you have any idea how long I've wanted this?"
Mulder felt Krycek's Adam's apple bob against his chin as he answered. "I've
wanted it since I first met you. When I saw you in that Speedo of yours, I
was ready to jump your bones then and there." His hands stroked down to
Mulder's groin, tracing around the growing bulge in his sweats. Mulder
arched beneath him like a cat who was being petted. "The question is how
much do you want?" Krycek whispered in Mulder's ear.
"All of it, Alex." Mulder pulled back to look into Krycek's grass green
eyes. His fingers began to fumble at Krycek's shirt buttons. "All of you."
Krycek shivered, unable to believe what Mulder just said. "So I guess my
next question is where?" he asked as Mulder finally succeeded at unbuttoning
Krycek's shirt.
"Contrary to popular belief, I do have a bed," Mulder said with a lop sided
smile. "I just don't like to sleep there."
"Agent Spooky Mulder sleep in a bed like a normal person? Sounds like and
X-File to me."
"Fuck you, Krycek."
Krycek laughed and stood up. "I hope so, Mulder," he said, tugging Mulder to
his feet. "Or the other way around." Mulder wrapped an arm around Krycek's
waist and began to grind against the other man's groin. Krycek groaned and
bent backwards, intensifying the contact, his loose shirt brushing the
floor. Mulder arched over him, nipping at Krycek's collarbones. "At this
rate, we won't make it to the bedroom."
Mulder pulled himself upright, urging Krycek up also. "If my back is going
to go out, I want a more satisfying reason."
"Satisfying?" Krycek said. "I'll give you satisfying."
The next few moments were a blur, even with a photographic memory. All
Mulder was certain of was that somehow they had managed to get to the bed.
Krycek had shed his shirt somewhere along the way, and was tugging Mulder's
tee shirt over his head. Krycek happily sighed at the sight of Mulder's bare
chest. Practically drooling, he dove for one of the nipples that were
begging to be nipped.
Mulder arched beneath Krycek, moaning. Krycek chuckled and stroked one hand
down the flat plane of Mulder's stomach, seeking the juncture of his legs.
Just before Krycek's fingers brushed the down there, Mulder pulled away,
rolling onto his side. [Shit! What am I doing? I'm being seduced by my
partner while Scully's out there in the cold dark, having who knows what
done to her.] "I can't do this."
Krycek spooned into Mulder's back. "What's wrong, Mulder? Is it that you
feel you don't deserve to be happy if she's missing?" Krycek began a gentle
massage of the tense shoulders before him. A slight nod was his answer. "She
knows how much pain there's been in your life. I think she would want you to
be happy." Krycek wasn't exactly sure which 'she' he was talking about,
Scully or Samantha.
But Mulder seemed to accept that, because he made no protest when Krycek
began stroking his chest. Krycek began with slow sweeps, memorizing the play
of muscle over Mulder's chest before focusing on his nipples. Mulder groaned
and pushed his ass tighter against Krycek's groin.
"Easy, baby," Krycek whispered against Mulder's neck. He gently rolled the
brown nub between his fingers. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"
"Yes." Mulder's whispered and husky with need. "Brining yourself off isn't
quite the same."
"Believe me I know." Krycek's left hand left its relentless teasing to slide
down Mulder's torso. "I spent many lonely nights wishing I was with you.
Touching myself like this," Krycek's hand encircled Mulder's cock, "wishing
you were." The hand began a deliberate pumping motion. "And those all night
stakeouts were torture." A wet tongue snaked out to caress Mulder's earlobe.
"I wanted to shove you into the back seat and screw you until we both saw
stars."
Mulder moaned and tossed his head. Krycek grinned and sped up the motions of
his hand. "Alex... no. Not... like... this."
Krycek's hand immediately stopped stroking him. "I'm sorry, Mulder. I didn't
mean to..."
Mulder laid a finger on Krycek's velvety lips. "It wasn't that, Alex. I just
want you to be deep inside my ass when I come." He smiled when he heard
Krycek's breath catch in his throat at the image his words provoked. But
Krycek didn't make a move. "You do want to fuck?"
Krycek gently stroked along Mulder's hairline. "I'm afraid I'll end up
hurting you, Mulder. And I don't want to do that."
Mulder pulled Krycek a little closer. "You can't possibly hurt me any more
than I already have been." He silenced Krycek's words with a kiss. "Fuck me,
Alex. I want to forget. I need to forget."
Krycek groaned and rolled Mulder onto his belly. "Do you have any lube?
Condoms?"
"Top left dresser drawer." Krycek kissed behind Mulder's ear. Mulder felt
the mattress shift as Krycek backed off the bed. He heard the young man [my
lover] rummaging through the dresser.
"Got 'em." Krycek bounded back to the bed. Mulder shivered as he heard the
rip of foil. Then he felt a slick finger probing his anus and then glide
inside. In reflex, Mulder tightened down. "Easy, Mulder," Krycek soothed.
The finger began to twist and curl. And when he found what he was searching
for, Mulder thought he had died and gone to heaven. Krycek pulled out his
single finger and attacked Mulder's prostate with two, rubbing against the
gland with every thrust. After a few minutes of relentless finger fucking,
Krycek withdrew. Mulder, knowing what would come next, eagerly raised his
ass into the air. Krycek placed a pillow under Mulder's stomach, allowing
him easy access to the swollen cock.
Mulder whimpered when Krycek laid down on top of him. It felt good, aside
from the sexual arousal, to have another body covering him. Krycek slid his
hands up and down Mulder's sides. "Make me forget, Alex."
Krycek kissed the back of Mulder's ear. With trembling hands, Krycek placed
his cock at Mulder's tight entrance and began to penetrate. "Oh God, baby.
You're so tight," Krycek murmured. For Mulder it was part pain, part
pleasure, and complete rapture. And when Krycek put a hand around Mulder's
cock and began to thrust, Mulder's rapture increased tenfold.
It had been a long time for both men, and release came quickly—Mulder with
a hoarse scream of joy, Krycek with a quieter but no less pleased grunt.
Afterwards, Krycek held Mulder close, stroking his new lover's body,
memorizing its contours. Neither man spoke, but instead fell asleep holding
each other. Mulder was certain that for once in his life, he would not be
hurt in this relationship.
Mulder had been wrong. Krycek did hurt him worse than anyone ever had. It
had been a knife to the heart to find the Morley cigarette butts in Krycek's
car.
The hiss of static finally brought Mulder back to the here and now. He had
been so caught up in the memory, he had let the tape play out. Picking up
the remote, he reversed it to the point where he had first zoned out. He
watched the conversation with the volume at full blast, but the audio feed
on the bugs had completely failed.
He watched Krycek head off to his bedroom, and Scully to the phone. The feed
was edited at that point, because the next scene was Scully rifling through
Krycek's clothes. Of the younger man, there was no sign. [What are you doing
Scully?] He could not figure out why Scully was reacting so calmly to
Krycek's presence in his apartment.
The tape spliced again. Now the scene showed Scully and Krycek on his bed,
eating dinner like they were old friends. Or that's what he thought until he
saw Scully reach out and place a hand on Krycek's left shoulder, and Krycek
stroke Scully's cheek. [Don't you dare,] he thought, not certain who the
comment was directed towards. And there was no mistaking his feelings of
jealousy and envy when he saw them kiss. [And what are you upset about? Are
you angry about the fact that Krycek is kissing Scully and 'cheating' on
you? Or that he's doing what you never had the nerve to do? Or that Scully
is kissing Krycek and you want to be the one kissing him?]
But before he could chase that thought down further, Krycek lightly touched
between Scully's eyes. [Don't act like you didn't know, bastard,] Mulder
thought. [She's dying and you're part of the reason.] And then he watched as
Krycek got off the bed, collected his jacket, and leave.
And Scully did nothing to stop him.
Mulder shut off the VCR. He leaned back against the headboard with a
thoughtful frown. After his 'resurrection,' he would have a long talk with
Scully. And then he would hunt down Krycek. Either to kill him or to fuck
him.
Mulder wasn't sure which, yet.
Uncertain Allies
Part II
Memory
The tall man walked into his accomodations, a cheap motel room in the middle
of nowhere. He couldn't seem to make himself think of this place as home,
temporary or otherwise. But then there really wasn't any place he thought of
as home. Not his apartment, that was a place to crash when he wasn't
working. Not where he grew up, where he lost his sister. Not the summer
home, shrouded with so many sad memories.
