"Sir?" Kim said as she brought in the paper.
His arms behind his head, Walter had been dreaming of the good old days when
Mulder could be counted upon to burst into his office and physically assault
him once a year. It wasn't fully satisfying but it had been better than
nothing.
Now why was Kim simply standing there with her mouth agape? Her pretty round
face beneath the ginger colored hair looked pink as a rose wine. "Sir,"
Rubbing his head, Walter straightened in the chair and smiled with what he
hoped conveyed warmth instead of the sadness he was feeling. "Of course, you
can go home. It's five, Kim."
"Sir, I was wondering... wasn't your birthday yesterday?" Kim asked.
"Yes, spent it with family. It's what we do," Walter said.
Walter had five sisters, who had sixteen children between them. There was
even a Walter. He was a surly fourteen-year old who glowered at his uncle in
resentment for not having a cool name. The boy called himself, Wat, which he
believed to be an improvement on both the formal name and the nickname. The
melee with that many Skinner offspring was something just short of the World
Trade meeting riots, but not much.
His personal assistant stood there a while, but eventually she sighed and
walked away. Walter hoped she wasn't going to ask for a transfer. They had
just settled down to a clear routine like an old married couple. It was so
difficult to train a new assistant and be trained by them.
In private now, eagerly, Walter turned to the personal ads. He had spent
hours composing the perfect ad.
"Strong, Surly, and Searching
"Bi white male, age 49, buff, bald, and bold, looking for date and romance
on June 4. Health certificate on file. Prefer male or female with green or
hazel eyes. Dark hair, tall. Weight average for height. Purpose: celebrate
my birthday in style."
Leave Message at PO Box 1013 or Voice Drop 007-bond
There had been no replies in his post office box and there were none in the
paper. Sadly, Walter walked to the elevator. He had a white rose in his
hand, a routine since the day he had shot Alex Krycek. Each night he left a
rose on the spot and in the morning, it was gone. He supposed the
maintenance crew removed them, wondering who the nut was that left them.
The garage was deserted...not unusual. Who in their right mind would park
there? No insurance agency would take a risk on coverage if you used this
parking area. Walter walked to the spot where Krycek had fallen. By the
time, Doggett and he returned from checking on Scully, the body had
disappeared. No big surprise, but it had still hurt. In a way, Walter had
hoped for punishment for his crime. At the very least there should have been
a review board hearing. However, the tape had been gone from the security
camera; Mulder had refused to testify. What was Walter to do?
Kneeling, Walter searched for the dark stains on the concrete, but all he
saw was oil. Guessing at the exact place, he kissed the rose petals and
placed the blossom down. "I'm sorry, Alex. I'm so sorry. I always hoped..."
His voice broke. How had this all happened? His mind was haunted by the
thought that he could have saved Alex at a dozen points...his beautiful boy,
his old man's folly. His lover for a few brief weeks, his demon for years,
and now, a ghost that would haunt him to his dying day.
A thorn left on the shorn stem pricked him and he uttered a brief startled
exclamation.
"Good night, my love, good night," Walter whispered.
Walter groaned as he got up. He felt old and unwanted. Up till now, he
could tell himself that the reason he had no special someone in his life was
that he hadn't looked.
In the past, he had hoped that one day, Mulder, handsome, unattainable,
heroic Mulder would one day be his. How many times had that impish face
creased in a smile, teasing him about being smitten with Scully? Walter
cared deeply about Dana, but his nightly fantasies revolved around a
different lover. An imaginative, tall, darling with dark raggedly cut hair,
a jagged ziggurat of a nose, and a ripe lush plum of a mouth...Fox Mulder.
Now that Scully and Mulder were together...at least, he thought they were
together, although Mulder did not appear to be living with Dana and the
baby, Walter had given up hope. He had placed the ad in a fit of madness and
rebellion. He hated the thought of birthday after birthday dragging on,
alone. He was sick of being by himself.
Walter had placed three discreet ads in the paper and had even done a video
for a bi-dating service. The same tag line was on all three, strong, surly,
and searching. There hadn't been a single response. Now, he smiled at his
own folly. No one wanted him. Alex had been a fluke or a folly. He would
never have Mulder. There would never be the perfect lover of his dreams.
Something moved in the darkness...someone?
Was that Alex? It was his ghost perhaps; the figure moved forward and
collected the rose. Green eyes glowed in the dim light. He held the rose in
his hand and twirled it, smiling wistfully. "I always liked white roses."
He looked so real, so solid except that the lines of strain on his face were
gone. Walter stared, taking it all into his heart. "I never believed in
ghosts, but I suppose I never believed enough in anything."
Someone else came out of the darkness and put his arm around Alex's waist.
It was Mulder.
A cold wave of fear went through Walter. Had Mulder been depressed enough to
kill himself? Had he joined in death the man he had not allowed himself to
love in life? Mulder had been avoiding him, refusing the invitations for
lunch. He had known that Mulder and Alex had been lovers, but he assumed all
love was gone from the way Mulder had acted when Walter had shot the man.
Walking away after a brief glance had not seemed like Mulder...even his hate
was more passionate than that. However, Mulder had refused to speak about
Alex since. He had said to Walter, "You have nothing to feel guilty about.
Alex wouldn't have blamed you."
"You look as if you've seen a ghost, Walter," Alex's voice said.
"What am I seeing?" Walter asked. He flinched as Alex reached into his
pocket.
The wrapped package that Alex tossed to him had hunting dogs embossed over
stripes of gold and a yellow ribbon. Walter caught it on automatic. He
stared from it to Krycek and back. "I killed you," he said.
"And I was willing to stay dead too, but, damn, I'm a naïve and sentimental
assassin. You've been breaking my heart, leaving all those roses," Alex
said.
Mulder slipped away from Alex and over to Walter, hugging him from behind as
he had Krycek. Walter felt the hard nudge of a substantial cock. Mulder's
chin drove into his shoulder, caramel scented breath tantalizing him. A
tongue lazily licked at the sweat gilding his skin.
Still keeping his distance, Alex looked amused. He leaned back against a
pillar and watched as Mulder snaked around to Walter's front in a slow
teasing version of an upright lap dance. Walter wanted to keep an eye on
Alex, but his vision was suddenly filled with Mulder's amused eyes, his
soft, succulent lips, and then they were kissing. Mulder had one hand making
soft circles over Walter's ass. His other hand pressed Walter's head to his.
Suddenly, Mulder whispered, "I'm going to fuck you, Walter. You
slut...placing that ad. Do you think we'd let anyone see it? No way. And
Alex has your cute little video too."
Legs buckling, Walter moaned, "Hell, Mulder, what is this?"
"Seduction, " said Alex. "Damn nice one too. Mulder's kisses are way up
there on my list of forbidden pleasures. Do you like them?"
"Yes, fuck you..." Walter said. He winced, waiting for the punishment of the
cat o' nine tails inside of him. Nothing happened except that Alex
straightened.
"Open your present!" Alex commanded.
The present? Walter pursed his lips and ran a thumbnail to lift the tape.
"Damn, Walter," Mulder said, "Just rip it!"
All right, he would and did. He recognized the palm pilot and stared at
Alex, trying to decide if it was a trick.
"It's the real thing, better than the Coke you gave me," Alex said. "You're
free. You can turn right around and go. We wouldn't trouble you again."
"No," Walter quickly replied.
Stalking across the floor in a fierce strut, Alex drew Walter's gaze and
held it. His expression was quizzical, challenging, and hot. Oh God, the man
was fiery and hypnotic. Walter shuddered, frozen like a mouse in the eye of
a cobra.
What was that in Krycek's hand? A garrote? Walter's throat felt tight.
Mulder kissed him again, making his head spin. He felt the roughness of
Mulder's five o'clock shadow and the softness of his lips, drowning in the
man, suffocating in the sweet passion of his kiss. If he had to die then let
it be like this!
Whatever Krycek had in his hands, it was soft against Walter's neck. It felt
cold and smooth as his pulse raced against it. For a moment, it tightened
and twisted and then, it was simply there, a shimmer of silken cloth around
his neck. Alex's teeth nipped at his ear lobe. The mouth moved lower,
sucking just under his ear. Now, he was captured between the two men, unable
to move, not wanting to escape.
"Walter, we are going to ravish you," Mulder teased.
Alex didn't bother with words. His hand cupped Walter's rising erection over
his trousers. Walter moaned and spread his legs, leaning into Mulder
helplessly as Alex teased him. He felt Alex's fingers working on his fly
button and then the slide of his zipper. Finally, a word hissed in his ear,
"Yes?"
"What?" Walter asked, as the hand paused, fingers hesitating as they
burrowed just under the elastic of his BVDs.
"Do you want this?" Alex inquired, finger stroking lower, cock pressed hard
up against him from behind.
"Not here!" Walter pleaded. The fingers explored lower and surrounded his
cock, working it, thumb stroking the slit.
Relenting, Alex patted his ass and said, "We want you, Walter. We want to be
all over you, love. We don't want you to ever go looking at anyone but us.
Got it?"
Walter nodded, but at that point, he would have agreed to just about
anything. Alex captured his keys and said, "I'll drive. Mulder can keep you
entertained."
"Oh, yeah, I might know a game or two that can be played in a car," Mulder
said in a silken voice.
"You're alive, Krycek?" Walter asked, "How are you alive?"
"A friend of mine was on standby. I was never more than mostly dead and
after all, I could always say with my last breath, that I still had true
love to live for," Alex said as he slid behind the wheel.
Mulder jerked Walter into the back seat of the car by his tie. He pounced,
grinning like a kid with a new toy. Walter's cock was claimed from his pants
and his jacket was thrown over his bared flesh. Mulder stroked him to keep
him erect and on edge as they threaded through the streets.
"Don't let him come," Alex advised. "If you do, that counts as your first
turn."
"Bitch," shot Mulder, but his tone was playful.
"You and Alex? But I thought? You went for his throat when I walked him into
the room before you were abducted," Walter said.
"No abduction. Honeymoon," Mulder corrected.
"Honeymoon?" Walter snapped. "Do you know how Scully and I felt?"
"Um, I know. I was a bad boy. Want to spank me for it? Look, Alex and I had
a couple things to do and that was the only way I could think to arrange to
be gone. I'm sorry. When I saw that tape of you crying as you told Scully
you lost me, I wished I could have found a better way," Mulder said. "Scully
did okay with Doggett. Hell, Alex hand- picked him to keep an eye on her. He
was a great choice and he'll make a great daddy to little what's his name.
As for going for his throat..."
Mulder's eyes rolled and he licked his lips. "That was so hot! I could have
fucked him right in front of you all. What a turn on watching him hiding
behind you like a timid cowering maiden!"
"Jesus, Mulder..." Walter said. "I can't believe what you're saying. What
about Scully?"
"I love Scully...I wish I could love her the way she wanted me to love her,
but it won't work. We'd hate each other in the end. Alex and I have work to
do. As for you, we thought that you would be happier without us...of course,
neither of us intended for you to be the other player in that scene. It was
supposed to be Doggett. He never slept with Alex. He would have made a clean
kill and walked away with a clear conscience," Mulder said. "Things just
went wrong and what could we do?"
There was a shining wetness to Mulder's eyes. He wiped at them and said, "We
kept an eye on things and those roses...well, Alex was hurting for you."
"After what I did? I fucking tortured him, Mulder!" Walter roared.
"Returned the favor, Walter. I told the old men that you would fight me, but
no, they knew better. Despite how it looked, I never enjoyed hurting you,
Walter. There are better things to do with your magnificent, brutal body.
You missed one word in your ad, Walter. It should have been 'Strong, surly,
searching, and studly'," Alex said. He glanced back and smiled.
"I don't think that's actually a word, Alex," Mulder said.
"Ought to be," Alex replied. "Walter is studly."
"Yeah? And so what does that make me?" Mulder challenged.
"My beautiful lover without par," Alex said, "my hero."
"Your hero? Really? Oh," Mulder replied and said, "I can live with that."
Alex's cat eyes glittered from their reflection in the mirror. Walter
couldn't tell if it was genuine emotion or amusement. Mulder leaned forward
and kissed Alex's cheek, making the man purr. "Mulder..."
"Hmm?" Mulder cooed back.
"I love you," Alex concluded.
Satisfied, Mulder settled back and yanked Walter's face around to kiss him.
Lips parting for Walter's tongue, Mulder moaned softly and held on as if he
never wanted to let go. His eyes opened, smoldered into Walter's. They each
had to draw a breath and drew each other's. They gasped and Walter sensed
the smile beneath his adoring lips. Some men gave a kiss. Mulder gave his
soul.
Dazed, Walter was scarcely aware of the car stopping. He followed when
Mulder took his hand, reached for Alex when the man paused in the doorway of
the hotel room. Alex's eyes were as deep green as a dark pine holding strong
to a bleak mountainside. The inner light was like dawn coming at the peak of
the Going to the Sun Pass. His fingers felt like fire and Walter held them
hard.
'Burn me. Take me,' Walter thought.
Jerked into the room, Walter felt his clothing stripped from him as he
surrendered to greedy hands, smiled dazedly as the two men squabbled when
their haste made them get in each other's way.
Reaching up, Walter found the scrap of satin. He worked the bow loose and
realized it was a red ribbon that Alex had tied around his throat.
"Shouldn't you two have been the ones wearing ribbons?" he asked.
"No, we're giving you the chance to be yourself," Alex replied. "If you want
it."
"I want you," Walter said fervently, "I want you both."
Three hands pulled him onto the bed. He was face to face with Mulder. Alex
was behind him.
Mulder's mouth sought his again; hazel eyes twinkled in amusement for a
moment. "On your side, Walter, do you want Alex inside you?"
Yes. He'd never given that to anyone. Never trusted anyone enough. Did he
trust Alex? Never... how can you trust someone who danced with devil and
escaped out of hell? Trust him, no. Want him? Yes. He needed that now, to
know the burn of a man inside him, the sweet, pleasure-pain he had often
taken from his lovers.
Mulder played with him, distracting him, teasing him with nibbling, kissing
him with darts of tongue. The wet small intrusion that suddenly invaded him
made him shudder. Between the two of them, Walter nearly wept for the
pleasure. He felt Alex's fingers holding his cheeks apart, the sudden shock
as Mulder's hand went in symbiotic partnership with his lover's to help.
Mulder's mouth laving kisses, slicking over him, taking him deep as Walter's
hips thrust forward.
"I can't...I'm going to come," Walter confessed. It had been too long. He
wanted it to last, but his entire body trembled with need.
"It's okay. Let it happen," Alex whispered, searing Walter.
Mulder surged forward, encompassing him. Walter was so deep in his throat
that he swore he could feel Mulder's heart beating through the sensitive
skin of his cock.
His body released like the jagged lightening of a summer storm. Walter
splayed between them like an altar on which they laid their desires. His
muscles all tightened as if fighting for life then every nerve in his body
fired at once. A harsh yell quavered from his throat. Falling limp between
them, Walter nestled his head against Mulder's chest. Those long, strong,
fingers petted his head and soothed him.
"I need to kiss you, both of you," Walter begged.
"Granted," said the genie behind him. Walter twisted around to be offered
the mouth of divinity, the cherub lips, the lying mouth, the sweet
passionate baby soft orifice of his dreams. Quickly, Mulder reclaimed him,
kissing him deep. His mouth tasted of them and of himself. The flavor of
them mingled as if their souls were merging as well as the passionate heat
of their bodies.
Panting as if all of the oxygen in the room had ignited, Walter kissed
Mulder, his hands roaming over a body that had been an icon. Now Mulder was
with him, real, human, giving, and apparently desiring him as much as Walter
had always wanted the man. Walter trailed his fingers through the patch of
fur on Mulder's chest, down the soft stomach to the thicket of his pubic
hair. The man's cock was enormous, a thick rod of flesh pulsing in his
hand. Walter stroked Mulder, watching his face to see what touches felt the
best to him.
Alex's finger pushed gently but firmly inside him, penetrating all his
barriers. The slight burn was not hard to endure, especially since the
questing intrusion quickly found the key to his pleasure. His lover was
impatient, but restraining himself. Walter wouldn't have minded if it hurt
more than a little. At least, he would know that he was alive.
"Ready," Alex whispered.
"Yes," Walter said, "I want you, beloved."
Alex's gasps and soft grunting moans of pleasure accompanied the slow push.
Walter reached his hand behind him to feel the motion of Alex's ass as he
thrust. Then he returned to Mulder, their hands serving each other as they
kissed and grasped at each other.
This was different than anything Walter had ever experienced. His
ejaculation seemed to be the implosion of every nerve in his body. He
shuddered, unable to catch his breath and not caring. He was aware of Mulder
sinking his teeth into his shoulder, of his hand clawing Mulder's back, of
Alex collapsing atop him and kissing his neck, whispering, "Thank you,
Walter, thank you."
A very long time later they were in the shower, trying to scrub dried semen
from their bodies. Walter put his hands on Alex's shoulder and asked,
"What's next? Was this a goodbye fuck? Because if it was, you can just put a
bullet in my head."
A smirk answered him and Alex said, "Your resignation is on your desk with a
nice letter to Kim, a recommendation for her, and a ten page report on
Kersh's conduct with his subordinates. I included a couple pictures of
Knowles meeting with him as well as a copy of his Swiss bank account."
"There's still time to retrieve them if you don't want to go with us,"
Mulder said.
"Go? Where?" Walter asked.
Alex leaned against him, arm around his waist, cheek against his neck.
Who cared where? Anywhere...
"Still have a war to fight, but it's time to take it to them, Walter. Time
to make them fight us in the open. They'll be after us, but I happen to
think we have an unbeatable team." Mulder said.
"What about Scully?" Walter asked.
"She knows that I can't physically love her the way I can a man. She'll
always be in my heart and soul, but I want her to be safe and not searching
for me. She would understand if I said that you and I left to be together.
Later, we can explain about Alex," Mulder answered, pulling both of his
lovers close.
"Walter?" Alex asked, "You coming with us?"
"Yes, fuck, yes!" Walter said with joy.
Yesterday was the day of his birth, but today was the start of his life.
L'chaim, Walter, L'chaim!
Happy Birthday to the strong, surly one! If you were mine, you would be
happy and loved!
Strong, Surly, and Searching
by Ursula
"Kim, would you bring me my paper?" Walter asked. He leaned back in his
chair, his formerly crisp white shirt clinging to his torso. It was a warm
day for June, a very warm day. The thin linen shirt had become nearly
transparent. Looking down, Walter could see the outline of his nipple
through the material. However, it was too hot to put on his jacket. After
all, the only one who might notice was Kim and she probably looked upon him
as a father figure.
