Sometimes Fox—one of the other personalities—seemed to have an
almost physical presence. Right now, I could almost see him
standing behind me, peeking over my shoulder, occasionally going
up tiptoe then down again in an expression of a kid's boundless
energy.
//It's not like I rent them for the plot, Fox,// I answered. //I already
know how they end.//
/It's so mechanical. Stick tab A into slot B./
//They do the job.//
/I hate to tell you this, Mulder, but real women's breasts don't
stand up like that. I'm afraid you're warping your sexual
development./
//What sexual development?// It didn't come out as light as I'd
hoped it would.
/You should get out, Mulder. Meet people, form relationships. I
worry about you./
//I did that. It was Alex Krycek. I made a big mistake, and I'm not
repeating it.// I remembered a brief time of joy, followed by bitter
self-recrimination. Alex Krycek—killer, thief, spy, traitor, and the
only lover I, as opposed to Fox, had ever known—had led me
around by my dick, and I had gone along with it. The things he
made me feel scared me. I hadn't seen him in months.
/He cares about you. I know he does./
An almost uncontrollable wave of malice shot through me, making
me want to take Fox apart about his recent relationship problems
with Daniel Pendrell. Make Fox hurt as badly as I did... He was
starting to trust Pendrell again after the disastrous party they went
to a few weeks ago, but the kid still seemed unusually subdued. I
could feel the words coming, about how a relationship certainly
hadn't made his life better, not recently. My own conscience
and a pleased purr of anticipation from William stopped me.
Hell if I would make William happy by hurting Fox.
//I made a mistake with Krycek. I'm not going through that
again.// I could feel Fox wanting to ask something and trying to
find the nerve. Damn, he must have sensed how close I came to
ripping into him. We inmates could do that sometimes, even
without putting our thoughts and feelings into words. //What is it,
Fox?// I asked as gently as I could.
/Would you... would you let me take care of you?/
//"Take care of" me? What are you talking about?//
/Let me make love to you./
//WHAT?//
/It... it would be like phone sex, only more interactive and without
the credit card./
//And without the phone. And with one of my other personalities
touching me like a lover... Aren't we insane enough?//
/I'm sorry. You're right. It's a stupid idea, but you've done so
much for me, and I love you, Mulder, and I hate seeing you so
depressed and alone.../
It hurt seeing Fox's self-confidence at such a low ebb, and I still
wanted to strangle Pendrell for what he'd done, drunk or not, sorry
or not. For months Pendrell had been doing so much good for Fox,
loving him unreservedly, making him happy, even enabling him to
mature to the point where Fox felt less like a child and more like
an adolescent.
Then that damned party... The insecure lab rat got drunk and
lashed out in a spray of venom and with a slap. Just like our
father...
Once Pendrell sobered up, he tried to put things right—I'll give him
credit for that—but, much as Fox still loved him, it would take time
for Pendrell to regain his trust and for Fox to regain confidence in
his own instincts. What that bastard had done threw us all for a
loop.
What would it hurt to try to make Fox happy?
//I'll give it a try, Fox, but I won't make any promises.//
/Really?/ Fox felt like summer sun in our mind.
//Really.// I could feel William trying to swim up to the surface to
protest, but Fox and I slammed him down.
I left the store and walked home in a daze of terror and
anticipation. Fox bubbled along, planning quietly to himself.
Every once in a while he'd reassure me that if I didn't like anything
he was doing I'd only have to say so—at any time—and he would
stop.
He knew my problems too well. In the past, the moment a lover
started to take control of the situation or ask me to do something, I
would flash to Dad, go into fugue, and let Fox take over. Only
Alex had gotten around that, made love to me by letting me set
the pace...
I felt a sharp pain and put thoughts of him aside. We had been
wrong for each other from the start, but I still missed him... and
hated myself for it. Getting involved with him had betrayed
everything I knew I should hold dear.
Once we were inside the apartment, I sat back and let Fox take
control. It always amazed me how he moved our body so much
differently, more gracefully and with more of a youthful spring.
He did a thorough sweep of the apartment for bugs. As frustrating
as it was, I appreciated his good sense. No way I'd want what we
were about to do on tape. He found one audio bug, crushed it, and
flushed it down the toilet.
Fox went to the closet and pulled out a box, but not before his
fingers stroked lovingly across the cool stone of the small angel
statue Pendrell had gotten him. /You probably won't go for this,
but I thought it was worth a try, to show you what some of your
options were./ He opened the box and pulled out one of the
oddest things I'd ever seen: an electric blue plastic wand that had
the small figure of a cat at one end.
//What the hell is that?//
/A dildo. I was going to spring it on Danny./ Fox laughed.
/Well, not "spring it," really. He mentioned being curious about
the whole thing two months ago. Then the party happened, and I
forgot about it entirely./
I couldn't help staring at the... thing in fascination. //But why does
it look like that?//
/It's Japanese. In Japan, it's illegal to sell anything that's shaped to
look like a penis./
//You're kidding me.//
/Nope. It's so goofy looking, I figured Danny wouldn't find it
intimidating./
//And you stick that—//
/Oh, c'mon, I know you've used your fingers./
//I've never inserted a foreign object in there.//
/Uh.../
//You know what I mean!// Fox started to giggle hysterically.
//What?//
/It's Japanese! It is a foreign object!/
//Sometimes I really wish I could smack you without hurting
myself.//
/You know you think I'm cute. If you don't want to use it, that's
fine. I didn't really think you'd agree anyway./
I couldn't help staring at the object we held in our hand. It looked
like some kind of demented toy, unthreatening, a good
introductory piece. Sometimes the depths of Fox's thoughtfulness
still surprised me.
I couldn't help the surge of curiosity and heat that went through me
at the thought of trying this. Before Krycek, I hadn't really
understood what I'd been missing. Jerking off—the only form of
sex I could previously deal with—and putting yourself in the hands
of a lover who enjoyed experimenting were two entirely different
things.
//Let's give it a try.//
/Cool! Ride 'em, Mulder! So to speak./ He took the cap off the
tube of lubricant, observing me carefully to see if I'd freak out.
When I didn't, he smiled.
Fox put the... toy and the tube down on the table near the couch.
He toed off our shoes and kicked them across the room, giggling at
my protests. I thought he would immediately strip us down, but he
instead lightly massaged our scalp first, fingers dancing the tension
away. It felt oddly good. I should have known Fox wouldn't get
me off with a quick jerk. I settled back for a long seduction.
His (our? No one had ever invented the right pronouns for what
we are) nimble fingers quickly unbuttoned the suit jacket but still
managed to luxuriate in the texture of the fabric and the cool
hardness of the buttons. Trust Fox to force me to appreciate the
sensuality in things I did every day. He even made me notice how
it felt as he slid the jacket off us. He flung it at the coat stand and
did a small victory dance when it draped perfectly.
/Yes! Two points!/
//You're a nut.//
/Sometimes you feel like a.../
Fox slowly pulled the shirt from our pants, then started to unbutton
it too, running his fingers up and down our chest and teasing the
nipples to hardness as he did so. I whimpered, and our pants
became more and more uncomfortable. He tossed the shirt off
next, followed immediately by the undershirt, undulating
shamelessly all the while.
His hands played over our chest, mostly our nipples and ribs. As I
felt the scars under our fingers, I wondered what Pendrell thought
of them. My quest for the truth had left its marks on me. Fox's
thumb skidded over one ragged scar on our hip that made him
smile. He'd gotten that one for us defending his life and honor in a
bar fight. A broken bottle had left a wound that required fifteen
stitches. I almost killed him myself when I returned and found out.
Fox's hands finally slid over the fabric down to our groin, stroking
and pulling our cock. Of course he knew exactly how to touch this
body. I moaned and tried to force him to take off the pants now.
He grinned, settled on the couch, and took off our socks. My moan
had as much frustration as anything else in it.
/You'd feel ridiculous doing this in your socks. Trust me./
//As far as I could...// Then Fox unbuttoned the pants and put his
hand right into our boxers. I bit my lip at the shock of sensation,
the practiced grip on the throbbing heat of my shaft. I felt the
pleasure of the touch and the soft silkiness of skin.
/Still complaining?/
//Hell, no...//
Fox wriggled out of the pants and underwear far more gracefully
than I would have before continuing his assault on our cock. The
combination of his hot hands on our front and the leather of the
couch rubbing against our ass made me insane. It frightened me a
little to feel him losing control of our physical reactions, too,
unable to prevent our hips from bucking into our hands, but it felt
so good, so good it hurt, so intense I almost wanted him to stop...
/It's okay, Mulder. This is what happens with sex. Ride it./
//It wasn't quite like this with Krycek!//
/Krycek is one of the world's all-time great lovers, but he doesn't
know exactly what you want to feel the moment you want to feel
it. I do. Do you want me to stop?/
I felt the strain in him. He didn't want to stop, but he would if I
asked him to. It gave me the feeling of control I needed. //No,
keep going.//
While his right hand kept stroking and pulling our cock, the left
slid down to play with our balls. I sobbed and closed my eyes,
drowning in pleasure. I would never be able to touch myself like
this.
I felt Fox's presence so strongly, I could almost imagine him as a
separate person doing this to me. My unraveling mind created a
mental image of him, as I thought he looked. I saw him wearing
all black: tight jeans, tight T-shirt, high boots that laced all the way
to his knees. He had an all too apparent hard-on and a mischievous
gleam in his bright green eyes. I imagined him in his mid-teens,
but with the proportionate body of an adult instead of the gangling
awkwardness of an adolescent. He looked like a younger, prettier
me—
/Hey, leave the nose alone! It gives us character!/
//If that's what you want to call it. Damn, you're jailbait. I could
get arrested for this.//
Fox laughed. /I'm glad to hear you're getting into it./
I gasped when the hands that toyed with my balls moved lower and
started to circle the... I writhed shamelessly. I wanted to explode,
but Fox's grip on our cock wouldn't let me.
/I think you're ready./
He took his hands off our body to squeeze some slick from the
tube but quickly brought one hand back to restrain our cock.
When cool, slick fingers entered me, I squeaked from the cold and
the oddness of it but soon moaned when Fox found and stroked a
spot that brought flashes of color and pleasure. He started to thrust
his fingers in and out and moved our hips in a way that made each
assault deeper and more profound. Everything perfect, just the
way I needed it. I could barely think, just make begging sounds.
Fox sounded barely coherent himself. /Do you... do you like
that?/
How could he ever doubt it? //Yes!//
I could feel him melting into mindlessness under the sensations,
but he removed his fingers and reached for the dildo, slicking it
with more lubricant. /Are you ready?/
//Please...//
He positioned the cool plastic, then stroked in, impaling me.
Thoughts of how Krycek had felt doing this to me briefly intruded
until Fox started to move the dildo, letting his arms rub up and
down against our cock with each teeth-rattling thrust. I wanted it
thorough and rough, and Fox gave it to me, each ruthless thrust as
hard and deep and fast as I wanted. I could almost swear I felt the
details on the little cat figure that topped the shaft.
I couldn't think. I felt every nerve in my body vibrating in ecstasy.
It almost hurt it felt so good. I think I screamed Fox's name. I
know I saw lights as I finally came in a rush, then passed out.
When I returned to consciousness, I heard someone banging on the
wall. I felt incredible. I also thought that I wouldn't be able to get
off the couch unless someone lifted me off with a spatula. Sticky,
panting, my heart racing, I slowly descended from the endorphin
peak Fox had brought me to.
Fox purred sleepily in my mind. If he had been a separate person,
he would be snuggled up against me right now. I felt a deep pang
of regret that he wasn't and couldn't.
/You were so good... so good.../ He gently pulled the dildo out
and set it down on some tissues on the table. He must have felt the
edge of the sense of loss thrumming through me because he asked,
/What's wrong, Mulder?/
//We can't— We can't ever do that again.//
/You didn't like it./ Fox tried to let me dance around the truth,
save myself, but I wouldn't let him.
//I liked it too much. I don't know if anything could ever compare
to what you did for me. You'll ruin me for normal sex.//
No one else knew me this well. No one else could touch me like
this. This would drive us insane if we kept at it. Well, more
insane.
/So you're not going to live like a hermit after all?/
//I can't make any promises.//
/Just you thinking about finding other people is a start. I want the
best for you, Mulder. I love you./
//I know, Fox. I love you too.//
THE END
All Alone Together
by Viridian5
I was looking over the store's video collection when Fox said, /I
understand the need to beat off, Mulder, but these stroke flics are
so repetitious./
