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Reaching Out To Call Somerat
by Finn


T he electronic strains of the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" on permanent repeat echoed through the café, much to the annoyance of the customers who suddenly had the melody running through their heads as they mentally completed the musical phrase.

Alex flipped the sleek looking phone open.

"Sasha's house of the damned, please leave your soul at the sound of the beep and we'll get back to administering your eternity of pain shortly."

Alex paused.

"Beep."

Heavy breathing was the only response on the other end. He peered at the caller ID and grinned.

"What's up, Spot? Dana fall down the well again?"

The breathing on the other end turned into coughing as the caller struggled against laughter.

"Bored, Alex?" John asked when he regained his breath.

"Oh yes. We're on a field trip. Their job is to find me. I've passed by two of them as a bicycle courier, another three while dressed in a chicken outfit holding a bucket, one of which actually donated... I'm currently doing the business man having a coffee while sitting in plain view of the main square. It's rather depressing, really." Alex stirred his café latte idly as he considered the sugar bowl for another packet or not.

"At least you're enjoying yourself. Scully and I are stuck in some seedy bar trying to track down her wayward partner." John almost placed his elbows on the bar before noticing the greasy residue and sitting back on the rickety stool.

"Mulder's missing again? Damn, we need to put an indestructible radio collar on him."

"Well, we're fairly sure it's not aliens this time, there's a fairly recognisable trail to follow. The Gunmen have been tracking his credit card charges across the country. If it were anyone else, I'd have guessed that their card number got stolen." He scanned the list before him. "We think he's searching for something"

"When isn't he?" Alex noticed one of his 'students' walk straight past and sighed internally. "Mulder's always looking for something or other."

"Well, yes, but we'd like to have that something or other under the jurisdiction of the FBI. Walt was almost sub vocally growling when we left, you could feel the table vibrating. Mulder's going to have to have a good reason for this Great Hunt." John gazed mournfully at the bottles of liqueur, sadly out of reach while on duty.

"I would say something about the Fox and the Hound, but one: I have a problem in corrupting children's stories, and two: There's some imagery there I just don't want to go into..." Alex pouted as his overactive imagination filled in the gaps for him anyway. "Bah. Too late. There's one Disney movie I'll never be able to see again."

John grinned. His lover's predilection for cartoons had become legion in their trio. "Don't worry. We'll go watch American Tail when we're home. The rats do good in that!"

Alex beamed into his phone, humming "Somewhere Out There", as he tossed back the dregs of his coffee. Time for another role change. He picked up a gym bag and strolled towards the bathroom. "So, why are you spending the FBI's hard earned communications budget chatting to me? Not that I'm against the concept, but shouldn't you be nose to the ground and tracking?"

"I'm waiting for Scully to complete her 'interrogation'." The word was clearly accompanied by mental finger quotes.

"Not the standard FBI interrogation techniques? My, the X-files has certainly corrupted our Dana..." He slipped in to the handicapped stall and dropped the bag.

"She playing cards. Poker. Five Card Stud. Queens wild." John's voice was somewhat bemused.

"Not teaching that at Quantico anymore?" Alex snickered, switching to the hands-free as he changed.

"It's apparently the only way her contact will talk. She has to win it out of him. Not to mention Mulder's watch which she gave him for his birthday. Apparently Mulder lost it in a game first, so she has to win everything back before he'll talk. She's actually doing better than I'd have imagined."

"Our Scully's quite the card sharp is she?" Alex buttoned the ugly polyester shirt up and grimaced at the feel of the material against his skin.

"She plays like an old lady. She cups the cards right up to her face, leaves only about a fraction of an inch of each card exposed, glares at them as if they're responsible for all her problems, mutters to herself under her breath, has this really annoying head toss... She's wiping the floor with them. They've never met a poker face like this." John watched as Scully outbluffed her opponents with a pair of threes, neatly avoiding a flush.

"One second, just changing phones." Alex pressed a few buttons on his phone and slipped it away. After a short pause, his bag began ringing. Pulling a much cheaper, brighter mobile from the side pocket he continued his conversation as he left the café.

"Switching identities?"

"Yep. The coffee was horrible anyway." Alex made the requisite disgusted lip smacking noise. "I don't know where America is getting its coffee. I've had much nicer stuff overseas."

"Oh look, Scully's won the poor man's dog. A nice golden retriever with a harness type leash." John yawned. Maybe this would be over soon.

"Robbing them bli... Oh she's not, is she? Really?" Alex crossed the street and entered the next establishment.

"I'm afraid so. Nothing is standing in her way to get to her partner. She's roughing up the disabled. Next you know she'll go pushing around old geriatrics for their pension." John shifted his expression to innocent as the aforementioned redhead glared in his direction, her ears obviously burning.

"So you're not going to be home tonight?" Alex pouted into the phone, with the appropriately matched upset snuffle.

"No, it looks like we're going to be stuck here for a while, probably at that motel nearby that looks like it charges by the hour..." John was not a happy puppy.

'Well, I'll see if I can swing tomorrow off, I'm sure we can convince your boss to do so also, since there are added benefits for him..."

John smiled as he visualised the day off snuggled with his lovers. "Oh, yes. I think we can come up with some incentives..."

"Anyway. Gotta go, my next act is up." Alex rounded up the conversation, looking forward to the morrow as he stepped up to the cash register.

He beamed a professional smile at one of his students who was waiting patiently on the other side of the counter.

"Welcome to McDonalds, sir. May I take your order?"

###

fionnghall@yahoo.com.au

Title: Reaching Out To Call Somerat
Author: Finn
Feedback Email: fionnghall@yahoo.com.au
Author's Website: http://fionnghall.tripod.com
Category: Humor
Pairings: Skinner/Krycek/Doggett (Implied)
Rating: PG
Sequel to: And How Was Your Day, Honey?
Notes: Thanks again go to Peach for her beta'ing skills =)
Summary: Business calls... well of a sort...

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