Moss, Sable and Jade II by Raven Chapter Three e served his three days, the master's sad eyes as he left the hall each evening enough to steel him for the task. Alex told Danally everything he could think of that frightened him, and why, told her what he thought would help. She listened, occasionally rubbing her chin on his arm in reward, other times turning her back to him when she thought he wasn't being honest enough. It helped, it made Alex feel more secure within himself than he ever had. It also let him release a great deal of useless fear, things he'd been dreading, that he realized would never happen, not so long as he was at Samstar Fields. Alex also put in his time with Fitz. He'd been a little worried over how the healer would react to him, but Fitz's smile was just as open and friendly as always. Alex had been given the grand tour before they began their work, and he'd finally gotten to see the jade that Drell had told him about. Fitz even opened the case and let Alex touch it, watching with interest as the younger man's hand was instantly drawn to a small piece. It wasn't a valuable piece at all, but Alex couldn't resist it. "It's the color of the master's eyes." Alex blushed, but had to share the observation. "You're right, it is. I never noticed that before." Alex held it tightly for a moment longer, then reluctantly returned it to the case. They left soon after, with Fitz starting him on the soap. Making it turned out to be hot, smelly, boring and exhausting. At least the stirring part did, but Alex was glad to know that he was making a true amends, not just being humored. He'd served his time, and Fitz was so grateful at being spared the stirring, he sent Alex off with a small pot of soap. The healer had scented it especially for Alex, and it smelled of honey, vanilla and carnations. Alex had thought it might be too much like a lady's soap, but one whiff of the ingredients in Sable's special blend relieved him. It seemed the stablemaster was fond of roses. To further prove his point, Fitz let him sample the Captain's choice. It was like the forest, sharp and clean, full of evergreens. Casually, Fitz showed him the master's blend. It was clean and warm, again with the scent of sunshine, and barely hinted with something spicy. Alex inhaled deeply, and Fitz saw the features relax, saw the comfort Alex took from the scent. It confirmed what he'd already guessed, that the master was loved deeply by this wounded heart, and Fitz gave praise that a soul was healing inside the scarred body. "Jade, is there anything else you require?" "I wanted to ask a favor." Alex reminded himself that he had no reason to fear, that the worst that would happen would be that Fitz would say no. "The treats the master gives the goddess. I would like to make her some, as an offering. The master says you know how, and that you might teach me. If you do not mind, and you have the time, I would like to learn, please." "I do not mind and, while I will not have the time for a few weeks, I will be happy to teach you when I make them next. In fact, I would be grateful for the chance to teach someone else. I do not mind making them, but they take time from my other work, and sometimes I have not the time to spare." "If I learn well, I could take over the task for you. I have few chances to show my gratitude to the goddess, it would be a boon for me to worship her this way." "You have to make them for the kennels, too, Jade. It's a good day's work." "I would be grateful, Fitz." Seeing that he was sincere, Fitz agreed. "Then, when next I make them, you will be my apprentice, and then you shall have the job, and with it my blessing." Fitz smiled, and risked a light hand on Alex's shoulder. Alex returned the smile, surprising Fitz by also returning the touch. He then blushed just a bit, and took his leave. In his room, he placed the pot of soap, lifting the lid to take a last deep sniff. He grinned at the thought of smelling this good, chuckling as he put his things away. His work done with Fitz, he went to stables, to let the stabler know he was available to work. Sable was in the front room, as was the master. The men were discussing an upcoming sale, and Alex gave a small knock to alert them to his presence. It had taken time to get used to the idea of wanting to let the master know he was present, but he'd learned that to wait silently seemed as though he were eavesdropping. Sable had taught him to make a soft knock, then to wait for instructions. "Jade, come in, please. Have a seat, we'll be finished in a moment." Alex did so, picking up the practice board and chalk. He'd progressed to writing words now, and simple sentences with the smaller words. Taking up the chalk, he pulled a paper from his pocket. It held sample sentences, and he carefully wrote the first one. He concentrated, wanting to make each letter perfectly, and was unaware of the fact that he was being observed. Fox and Sable, their business concluded, were watching him, not wanting to disturb him. His progress had pleased them, and when Sable had mentioned that other people at the keep taught lessons in other things once he could read and write, Alex had immediately wanted to know if he could take them. The body might be scarred, the soul still fragile, but the mind was razor sharp. Alex had taken to everything he'd been shown, catching on quickly. It had been the need for survival that had sharpened his wits, but it was a deep hunger to know that now honed the blade to a keen edge. Danally strolled into the room, appearing as she frequently did whenever Alex was around. She hopped onto the arm of his chair, watching his work. He'd done his practice sentences, and now was working on words he hadn't been taught. The green eyes followed his movements with the chalk silently, until the last word on the board was finished. He held it out to her, amusing the men watching. She studied it, then put out a paw and tapped a word. "I have it wrong?" Alex looked at it again, thinking. "This letter?" Danally looked, then looked back at Alex. "This one?" At that, she rubbed her head on his hand. He stared at the board again, and then wiped the board. "If it is not F-i-t-s, then it must be the Z. Fitz is F-i- t-z?" He was asking the cat, which was good, because Sable and Fox were too busy lifting their jaws from the table. She made a small meow of praise and watched as he wrote it correctly. She bumped his head, accepted his thanks and left, tail high and proud. Noticing that Sable and Fox were staring at him, Alex put the board away and quickly turned back, thinking he had kept them waiting. "Jade?" "Yes, Master?" "Does Danally frequently check your work?" "Yes, Master. I leave the board by the door of my room in the mornings, and if there is one wrong, she prints it with a paw. If none are wrong, she prints the bottom, to let me know she's checked it. Have I done something wrong, Master?" He wasn't really frightened, but they were eyeing him strangely. Remembering his lessons about such things, Alex spoke again, if softly. "Master, I'm feeling uneasy. If I've offended, you have but to say." Fox instantly shook himself out of his stupor, as did Sable. "No, Jade, my apologies for staring. I'm simply finding it hard to believe that Danally can read." Alex couldn't help it. He burst out laughing, a full rich loud genuine laugh that startled and thrilled Fox and Sable. They'd heard him laugh softly, a chuckle or so, but this was the first time either of them had heard him really laugh. They shared a look of relief and gratitude to whatever was amusing the boy, glad to see this further sign of healing. "Forgive me, Master, I mean no disrespect. But since I have been here, I have been asked to believe that my master will never rape me, never beat me and never use me ill. I have been asked to believe that I will be taught skills, allowed to buy my freedom and helped to live a good life as a freeman. I have been asked to believe in mercy, kindness, tolerance, peace, forgiveness, faith, hope and charity. I have been asked to believe in happiness, for myself and others. Against all that, Master, I find it far easier to believe that the cat is a goddess who can read." It was said with a broad smile and a sparkle of mischief at the impudence, the most playful he had ever dared be with the master, and Fox rewarded him. Not only did he laugh, he reached out. It was a brief hug, but warm and strong, and Alex sighed with pleasure at the feeling. Fox risked a brush of his lips across the top of Alex's head, wanting to be sure his slave knew how proud he was. He eased back and winked at the boy before saying to Sable, "Have you no work for this insolent brat?" It was the same type of tease Alex had seen the master use with Thomas, and he grinned, even as Sable's hands gently turned him toward the door. "Saddle Jessopa, with a beginner's tack, please. Walk her to warm in the left holding pen, then secure her to a post and wait for me. Repeat, please." Alex did and Sable chuckled in his ear. "You heard the master, brat, get to work." It was play, and when Alex felt a light tap on his rear to send him off, he knew that was play also. He'd seen Sable do it to others, but the stabler had never dared do it to him before, and Alex knew that they were beginning to trust him as much as he trusted them. It made him flash a last, glorious smile over his shoulder as he left to obey. Sable and Fox looked at the doorway and then at each other. A light sense of sorrow seemed to drift down onto Fox, and his next words told Sable the source. "You want him." "Yes. He's attractive, I'm only human." Fox nodded and, gathering his things, said the next in a quiet rush. "If he is willing, then be with him. Love him and let him love you." Sable opened his mouth, but Fox shook his head and closed his eyes, saying what he had to, what he needed to say. "Please, my love? Let him give you what I cannot?" Sable's heart ached, but he knew he could not argue. Not when Fox called him his love. He nodded, and Fox started to leave, pausing to put a hand to Sable's face. Sable caught it, boldly kissing the palm. "And who will give it to you, Moss? What of your needs, of what I would give to you?" He was not allowed to call Fox 'beloved,' not allowed to use any name but Moss to show his feelings, and while he understood the reason behind the rule, it still hurt. "I cannot. But," and here Fox sighed, making his own concession. "I will go to town. I will visit with James." James was known to them both, a good man and a good friend. He was also Fox's first male lover, and the two had continued to sleep together on occasion throughout the years. It was the closest Fox had to a lover and, though it pained him, Sable was glad that Fox would accept tenderness and care from someone. "Thank you." Sable meant it, and Fox leaned into the broad chest for a moment, sighing wearily. He then pulled back and, seeing no one was about, weakened enough to kiss the sternly set lips so near his own. Sable could count on one hand the number of times Fox had actually kissed him, and so he savored every brief moment. Too soon, it ended and, with a last sad smile, Fox left. Sable felt his throat tighten painfully, then slammed his hand on the desk. The pain helped to clear his head, and he calmed himself before going to the exercise yard. Alex had begun riding lessons his second week at Samstar. He'd taken to it easily, but Sable wanted him to be more than competent. The stabler felt it important, though he couldn't say why, that this slave learn all he could about riding and horses. Thus, the lessons had gone slowly, and with great detail. Sable came out, seeing Alex talking with Jessopa, nuzzling her and being nuzzled in return. The horse adored him, it was easy to see, and so they'd taken to using her for lessons. She had actually thrown a tantrum the last time they'd used another horse, having claimed him for her own. Alex, in turn, felt safe on Jessopa, trusting her completely. They had a bond, and Sable secretly thought the master was likely to sell the mare to their newest slave, in return for two foals. "Jade, bring her around, please." He obeyed, and when he was in front of Sable, the stablemaster made a motion that meant mount up. Alex got into the saddle easily, and Sable made another motion that meant take a lap. Sable tried to conduct the lessons using the standard military hand signals, wanting to be sure Alex could follow his directions should talk be dangerous. Alex took the lap slowly, knowing that Sable wanted the horse well used to him before speeding up. He'd not done more than canter since learning to ride, and a part of him yearned to cut loose, just once, to ride fast and hard. It was a yearning that grew stronger with every lesson, and Alex sternly reminded himself to be patient. He returned in front of Sable, and the man gave him an approving nod. "Good. Now, we're going to try something different. Dismount, then remount without using your stirrups." Alex did, and when he was on the ground, took a moment to figure out the best approach. He tried once, and slipped back down. Rethinking, he moved his arms farther apart, and changed his grip on the saddle. Alex was then able to pull himself up and swing a leg over. "Very good. You thought that out well, and quickly. Now, dismount, and this time, remount without using your hands." That took somewhat longer, but finally, Alex figured out where and how to lean to keep Jessopa stable and himself properly balanced. "Excellent, Jade. Soon, you'll be ready for more advanced training. For now, I'd like you to simply ride her. I'll open the gate, you ride in the east paddock until I signal. Vary your speed, practice stops and starts, as well as turns." Sable opened the gate, and Alex rode through sedately. He'd made a long oval, when he noticed Thomas signaling to Sable. The man turned, heading for the keep. Alex knew he'd be back soon, and continued his work. After several minutes, Sable was still inside, and Alex was feeling that yearning again. It was strong, stronger than it had ever been, and Jessopa seemed to feel it, too. Alex had been holding her back, but now, temptation overcame him. Telling himself that Sable had said to vary his speed and hadn't strictly forbidden him to ride fast, Alex gave in, leaning forward to say in Jessopa's ear. "Come, girl. Teach me what is to ride, what it means to move with a noble mare such as yourself." A light touch of his heels to her sides, and she whickered softly as she eagerly set off. It was exhilarating. Alex leaned forward and found that perfect spot, where he and Jessopa seemed to be one creature. He relished the wind, relished the feeling of flying wild, nothing to tether him to the earth. It was fantastic, the most alive he'd ever felt, and he found himself laughing out loud with the sensations. He wasn't sure how long he'd been racing, lost in the movement and rhythm of Jessopa's hooves pounding the ground, her strides eating up the pasture land. He curved them around a corner, and as they headed back toward the stables again, he caught sight of Sable standing by the gate. Alex gradually slowed, and by the time he was only walking Jessopa, they were in front of the man. Alex felt the tension tighten his stomach, but he wasn't really afraid. He wasn't looking forward to being in trouble, but he didn't fear it either, not the way he once had. It was different, had been since that first touch of the master's hand in chastisement. Instead, it was dread of disappointing either the master or Sable that worried him. Still, he'd acted freely, he would take the consequences without complaint. Sable had seen the young man's ride with conflicted emotions. On the one hand, he hadn't ordered Alex not to gallop, but there had been a clear understanding that things were progressing slowly on purpose. The fact that he'd waited until Sable was gone to gallop bordered on deception, and Sable could allow no slack on that. However, Alex was young, and so was the horse. It was a beautiful fall day and both horse and rider had shown much patience over the past few weeks. Now, as Alex approached, Sable saw the swallow, the quick lick of lips. The eyes dropped from habit, but new training overcame, and his green eyes raised again, meeting his own with resignation. It said clearly that the slave knew he'd done wrong, but that he didn't regret the act itself, merely the fact that it had met with disapproval. Clearly, the ride had been found worth it. "Dismount. Walk Jessopa to cool, then rub her down and put her away properly. When you've finished, come to my office." "Yes, Sable." Alex moved to obey at once, and Sable retired to his rooms to think about what to do. It wasn't a matter for the master, but clearly called for more than a scolding, though he knew that would hurt Alex worse than anything. When Jessopa was back in her stall, Alex washed his hands, then moved to the door of Sable's office. He knocked softly, and Sable motioned him inside. "Sit down, please." Alex took a chair, and Sable came around the desk, leaning against it, arms crossed on his chest. "Would you care to explain?" Sable had decided to let the young man tell what had happened in his own words, to see how strict he had to be. "The past few times I have ridden, I have wanted to let her run. I...I was curious, but it was also like a need. I do not offer you an excuse, I should have asked permission first. You have wanted me to go slowly, I knew this. I waited until you were gone, but not to deceive. I knew you would return and find us galloping. It was just harder to ignore the temptation without you there. The day felt so good, and Jessopa was bored, and I was bored, and I weakened. What I did was wrong, Sable, but it felt right. Despite knowing you would not approve, and that I should feel guilt, it was not as strong as the feeling that it was right for me to ride her so. How can that be, Sable?" Alex was sincere. He did not have much experience with a conscience, had been stripped of the right to choose his actions almost too long. Sable was used to Alex coming to him with questions regarding morals and ethics and behavior, encouraged him to do so, and now the stabler took a deep breath before answering carefully. "You remember we spoke of an internal sense of right and wrong? How, after following a path for a while, a man would learn when he had strayed from it, and when it was time to leave it?" "I remember." "That is what happened today. You disobeyed, and while you knew that to be wrong, your heart told you this was not as important as acting. You usually regret disobeying, do you not?" "Yes, Sable. To know that I have disappointed, that I have violated your trust, makes me feel ill." "And did you get that feeling, today?" "No. Not really. I knew you would scold and punish, but it just didn't seem as important as letting her go." "That's because you trusted your own judgement in this matter more than mine. You knew what I required, but you also knew what you needed. Your heart weighed the two, and decided that, this time, your needs were more important than simple obedience." Alex thought about this, a bit surprised at the idea of a need more important than obedience. "You're saying I put myself above you. Are you very angry with me, then? Should...should I go to the master?" Alex was becoming frightened in his confusion, and Sable hastened to reassure. "No, Jade, easy, little one. I'm not angry at all. In fact, I'm proud." "Sable, I'm glad you aren't angry, but proud I don't understand." Alex's face showed his complete loss at this leap. "Jade, what is the master's goal for his slaves?" "That we should become freemen, having the means to make a good life." "Exactly. To that end, he teaches many things, but there is one thing he cannot teach, one thing that separates a slave from a freeman more than any collar or chain. The ability to think for oneself. As a slave, you have had that choice taken from you. You may have had thoughts or opinions, but you learned quickly that, to survive, they had to mean nothing next to the master's will. Now, with our master, survival is guaranteed. You need not worry about survival, and so your mind and heart are learning to live as freemen do, taking pleasure, finding what is important to you. You are learning to value yourself, Jade, not in terms of how you serve the master, but in terms of simple being. You're beginning to respect yourself, to treat yourself kindly." Sable smiled down at the green eyes so full of thoughts, and placed a hand on one shoulder briefly. "No, little one. I am not angry. And while I will speak to the master about this, it will be to share the good news that you are learning to care for yourself. As we both care for you." He said this last softly, and something new flashed through those busy eyes, but Sable couldn't say what it was. Instead, he moved back behind the desk. "Now, while I'm glad for the reasoning behind it, I cannot approve of your actions. You made a choice, Jade, and there are always results from choices, do you see this?" "Yes, Sable." "So, scolding first. Jade, the run went smoothly, for that I'm grateful. Did you consider what might have happened if Jessopa had found a hole? If she'd gotten spooked suddenly, or had not responded to the rein? A full run can be a marvelous thing, and you have the makings of an excellent horseman, Jade, but you are not one yet. Your skills would not have been sufficient had something happened, to prevent injury to yourself, or to Jessopa. She might have even broken a leg, Jade. Does that happen, no healer in the world can save her. The horse would have to be put to death, and as the rider that caused her injury, that responsibility would have been yours." Alex paled, not having considered this. His audible swallow told Sable that the message had been taken to heart, even more than Alex's immediate apology. "I'm sorry, Sable. You're right, I didn't think of that. I would never have risked her so, had I thought." "I know that, Jade. It was simple error in judgement, not a deliberate chancing of her. Still, in the future, do you wish to run, ask first. I can arrange for you to use the racing oval. It's safe for a full run. Understood?" "Yes, sir." Sable had allowed Alex to use this, knowing that, when the boy felt insecure or was being scolded, he needed something more respectful than just a name. It comforted the young man to have a title at such times, and it was neutral enough not to bother Sable. "Good. I think that's enough scolding." He saw relief, knowing Alex thought a scolding the worst part of any punishment. "As for your punishment, I've thought about what would be fair. Some of the men are going to be cutting wood for the winter next week. It is hard, dirty and generally an unpleasant, though very necessary task. It will be yours, everyday of next week. The first day, your body will use muscles you've never used before, and they will hurt. I want you to be mindful of that ache, as the consequence of a new action, one you are strong enough to attempt, but not skilled enough to do yet without strain." "Yes, sir." Alex accepted it without a murmur, relieved as always that, if he'd wronged badly enough to deserve punishment, it was a real punishment, allowing him to feel as though he'd atoned. "Very well. That's all I have to say on the subject. Do you have any questions or comments?" "One." "What is it, Jade?" "Is it permitted to make an amends to an animal? I wronged Jessopa. I would like to apologize to her, and make an amends. Is that appropriate?" "Does she feel?" "Yes, sir." "Then she can benefit. It's appropriate. Anything else?" "No, sir." "Then a hug, and you can go make your peace with Jessopa, before starting the mucking." Sable always ended disciplinary moments with a touch of some sort, wanting to stress that the motive was care and learning, nothing more. Alex moved into the embrace gratefully, needing the physical reassurance after the fright of realizing what might have happened. The arms around him were warm and strong, the large body holding him closely was a comfort, rather than the terror it would have been before. Thoughts of before always made Alex grateful, and he whispered into the muscled chest, "Thank you, Sable. For your teaching and your kindness." "You're welcome, little one. Now, all forgiven. Go in peace, Jade." He placed a kiss on the broad forehead, a mere brush of his lips, then eased away. Alex tilted his head back, looking up into the dark brown eyes, seeing the care and affection. He knew Sable desired him as a man, but there was none of that present, only a gentle smile of compassion and understanding. A moment's brief hesitation, and Alex reached up, ghosting the most fleeting of kisses across that smile. Sable's eyes widened in surprise, but they also darkened with desire. A slender needle of fear dug at Alex's spine, but Sable only smiled a bit more and, in his softest voice, said, "Thank you, Jade. That, too, was appropriate." Relieved, Alex managed to return the smile, before taking his leave. Sable had two thoughts. The first was that perhaps, Alex was beginning to care for him. The second, that he wished it didn't matter quite so much to him, if he were. Alex spent the next week in the far fields. He and six other men filled wagon after wagon with wood, using what they could of old or sick trees, then taking only trees of a certain size from the healthy ones. They also took any fallen trees that were still serviceable, so that they cut as few healthy trees as possible. Alex was puzzled by this, until one of the men, seeing his unasked questions, explained that Fitz had instructed them to gather in this manner, explaining it would keep the forest as abundant as possible, ensuring a wood supply for many years to come. By the end of the week, Alex had learned many new skills, and sincerely hoped never to have to use them again. Sable had been right in his description of the work, and the first night Alex had been knotted with muscles that rebelled against the new strains. Sable had come to his room after the reading, a small jar of balm in one hand. "May I come in?" Alex motioned him in, and Sable carefully left the door ajar as he spoke. "I brought this. It will help with the soreness. Will you permit me to give you a rubdown?" "I would be very grateful for that, thank you." Alex was too sore to be frightened, merely stripped off his shirt and stretched out on his bed. Sable kept the touch medicinal, treating Alex like he would one of the horses that had been overtaxed. Alex had groaned under the strong fingers, the soreness at first made worse by the insistent movements. Soon, though, the ache was less, the balm and massage bringing blessed relief. A loud sigh of that relief made Sable smile and tease. "Perhaps you'd have preferred a spanking?" "I'd be more comfortable right now, true. But, no. A spanking may hurt less, but it's a sign of real failure. I may have made a mistake, but I haven't failed yet, not you, nor the master. I hope I never do so." "Good lad." Sable meant it, and he continued the massage in comfortable quiet. "Sable?" "Hmm?" "May I ask you about your wife?" The hands paused, but Alex could tell he hadn't upset Sable, the man was simply thinking. Taking more ointment, Sable returned to his rubbing, speaking almost absently while he did so. "Her name was Myra. She died less than a year after our marriage. She was bought by Lord William, the master's father, when she was but thirteen. I had been with him only two years, but I had seen more than enough in that time. Lord William bought her as part of a group sale, else he'd never have spent money on her. Myra was...different. She was quiet and gentle, very lovely in an unusual way. She was smart, I'm sure of it, but what most people noticed was that she seemed to live in a world of her own. It was like her mind was trapped somewhere, she took no notice of anyone or anything around her, except for strange moments and ways. "She would go days without eating, but would gather up buckets full of stones, spend hours arranging them in odd patterns. She didn't seem to notice she was starving, but let one pebble be out of place and she would howl. In winter she would walk barefoot through the snow, but she would wrap a potato in layer after layer. Nothing made sense with her, nothing. Lord William saw her act so for a week, and determined to sell her off quick. A child like that, I knew what would happen to her. She couldn't be trained, she'd either be beaten to death or sold to the brothels for dark work. Even if she took no notice of her suffering or pain, it would still be real enough." Sable paused, had Alex remove his pants to work on the legs now, averting his gaze until Alex's rear was covered by the blanket. He resumed his story when he resumed the massage. "She was too beautiful for that. Her eyes were like no eyes I'd ever seen, and her hair was a marvel, a pure black length that flowed like water down her back. I didn't desire her, nor love her as a spouse. But I did love her, there was something so pure, so untouched about her. She reminded me of the glass in the church windows, an image of a saint caught up in rapture. I couldn't bear to let it happen, but could think of no way to stop it. Until I remembered something. Lord William, always eager to increase the number of his slaves with no cost to himself, would allow any male slave over the age of sixteen to choose a wife from the other slaves. I thought, if I took her to wife, she'd be safe. I could keep her well enough, she took so little and there was always grain to be had in the stables. I went to him, asked for her." Sable had finished with Alex's legs now and moved to the table, washing his hands in the basin, while Alex changed into a nightshirt. Alex simply sat up on his bed, climbing under the blanket and waiting for Sable to continue. The large man took a seat in the chair and, at Alex's nod, helped himself to a cup of water. "Lord William was smart. He was also cruel. He knew I meant to cheat Myra's fate, and himself of the money she'd bring. Still, he was a man of his word, none could deny that. For good or ill, if he said it, it was law. He gave her to me, oversaw the marriage, and placed her hand in my own himself. He then informed me that he expected to see her with child within six months, or he'd consider the marriage annulled, and he'd take her back." Sable's face was angry, bitter, full of a hatred that made Alex shudder inside. It was the coldest look Alex had ever seen on anyone, including the mistress. "She was thirteen, as I said, only just, and had no understanding of the world around her. She was like a babe, going where she was bid go, but never knowing where that was, or why. I took her to my room and, knowing I had a little time, spent a month trying to find a way to her. It was useless, but I did learn one thing. She had no woman's cycle, that month, nor the next. By then I knew I could scarcely wait any longer, time was passing too quickly, and with no sign that she could even have children. I would have to take her, but it would be rape, I knew that. And it would come from me, the one that she associated with kindness. I covered her, I fed her, I kept her warm and safe and dry. She'd begun to curl against me as we slept at night, and she would sometimes look at me, really look at me, and smile. It was only for the briefest of moments, but I can't tell you what it did to my heart. And I was going to have to rape her. "I went to one of the older women, and asked her for help. She took pity on us and gave me a powder. I mixed it in the wine at supper, and Myra was soon deeply asleep. I was as careful as I could be when I took her, but I had only been with a woman once myself, and she'd been very experienced. When I pierced her maidenhead, there was blood. A lot of blood. I cleaned her up, went outdoors to vomit, and then returned to her. A few weeks later she bled, but whether it was a child or simply the start of her woman's time, I had no idea. Still it gave me hope, and with only three months left, I waited a few days and did it again. There was no blood for a month, and I thought it was done, but then she began to bleed again. I decided I needed to take her more than once, maybe that would help ensure a child. I took her twice a week for the next month." Sable paused, poured more water and stood, going to the small window and looking out. Alex was moved by him, staring at the strong features so full of pain. He wondered again why this man was still a slave, but that would wait for another night. Sable began speaking again. "It didn't work, but she no longer looked at me with that smile. If Myra touched me in the night now, she drew away, a grimace of pain on her features. She seemed farther away than ever, and if it was a comfort that I was trying to spare her far worse, it was very little comfort indeed. The next month was my last month to try, and so I took her every night. She'd begun to fight in her sleep, just a bit, the drug numbing and keeping her from knowing, but her body reacting nonetheless. "That next month, there was no blood. Lord William came and I told him that I thought her pregnant. He gave me three months to prove it, and I waited everyday with held breath, but there was no blood. I began to notice other changes, too, and she was so slight, I could feel a difference in her body. She was with child. I told Lord William this, and he examined her himself. He agreed, she was with child, and that put an end to things as far as he was concerned. He was getting another slave, and that would recoup his loss. He put her completely out of his mind. "When I had stopped taking her, once she'd become pregnant, she'd slowly come back around a bit. She smiled at me again, and if I was terrified at what having the child would do to her, there was part of me that looked forward to it as well. A babe, a child of my own flesh, and by this beautiful girl. I was naive enough to dream. We'd been married nine months now. "The next month, I came home to find her on the floor, seized with cramps and burning with fever. There was blood all over the floor, and I knew in a moment what had happened. I went for the healer, but Lord William forbade it, saying he wouldn't waste more money on a tree that would never bear fruit. I almost killed him. I would have, I think, was just about to leap on him, when Myra turned to me, and gave me one of those smiles. She actually reached out her hand to me, a first ever. I took her hand, unable to resist giving her any comfort I could. I bathed her, and then went to the bowl where I kept the powder. The old woman had warned me to use only a tiny pinch. To do more could make her sleep and never awaken. More still could kill her. "She was in pain, the cramping bending her near double, the fever making her shake with chills till her teeth rattled. The blood was no longer gushing, just a steady flow. I poured all of the powder into a glass of wine and made sure she drank it all. Her body slackened, cooled, her eyes fluttered. She looked up at me one last time and smiled, putting her tiny hand on my face. Then she was dead." Sable wiped his eyes, the silent tears that had begun, ceasing just as quickly. He put a hand into his pocket, pulling out his watch. "We'd been married a few weeks, when she gave me this. It wasn't uncommon for her to find things and bring them home, cracked cups, old bowls and such. They were treasures to her. I'd made a ring for her, just a simple band of woven leather. I found a lovely rock, smoothed it and put it in for a jewel. She was delighted, never took the ring off, and I'd see her touching it. It was this, I think, that made her give me the watch when she found it. I cleaned it up, and was pleased that it still ran, not that it mattered. A friend of mine, who felt sorry for Myra, put her name on it for me with his tools. It seemed to please her, and she would often pull out the watch, trace the letters, and then laugh. I've replaced the insides twice since then, but I will never replace the watch." Alex had another moment of need. Without thinking about it too much, he knew what he wanted to do, and if it were the wrong thing, so be it. He stood, went over to Sable, and wrapped his arms around the man's head and shoulders. Sable resisted for just a moment, then held tightly, burying his face in Alex's body, arms coming to rest just above the lean hips. Alex held, saying nothing, one hand stroking slowly up and down the broad back. For many long moments, Sable clung, letting the pain subside and bringing himself back under control. The strong face looked up at Alex, and Alex did what seemed to follow next here. He slowly leaned down, pressing his lips to Sable's forehead, holding it until he heard Sable sigh. "Thank you." Alex said it with great reverence, and Sable nodded. He stood, brought Alex's hand to his mouth and kissed the palm, before leaving. Alex blew out the candle, crawled into his bed and fell asleep. He dreamt that night of golden watches in rivers of blood. Now, a week later, he was still struggling with his thoughts of Sable. The stablemaster had been relaxed around him since that night, and Alex had felt himself that they were no longer just workers together, but friends. It was a good feeling, and when they shared a task now, he felt the man's presence in a way he never had before. He needed time, and was gifted with just that. The master asked to speak with him, and Alex reported after the noon meal, as ordered. Danally was inside with the master, and Fox waited patiently as Alex made his greetings to the goddess, offering her a sliver of mutton from lunch. She accepted his offering graciously and, as soon as he was seated, took her now customary spot in his lap, then looked at Fox as if to grant him leave to begin. With an inward grin at Danally, he turned his attention to Alex. "Have I done something wrong, Master?" "No, Jade, I am pleased with you and your performance. In fact, you've been doing very well, so I hear." This brought a shy smile and look of satisfaction to the handsome face, and Fox couldn't help but smile as he considered how far this slave had come, and how quickly. "Jade, the main foaling time is past now, and while your talents with the horses have been a great help, I need your labors elsewhere for a while. You know that it is customary for everyone to take turn working in each area. You also know that we've begun preparations for the winter. This is a very busy, very crucial time for Samstar Fields, and I must assign the work as is needed, without regard to personal choice. There are a few exceptions, it wouldn't do for me to pull Earlic from his smithing, or Edna from her sewing rooms, but by and large, we must all work where the need is most pressing. Therefore, I should like you to begin working in the kitchens, with Leona." Fox paused here, studying the face across from him closely. He knew that Alex was fearful of women, and while he no longer cringed in their presence, Fox wasn't sure how this news would be handled. Alex bit at his bottom lip, trying to picture himself working with Leona. He'd become accustomed to her, and even liked her, in a way. He knew that the kitchen staff had been working harder than usual, and while he had no skills at cooking, he didn't doubt he'd be helpful. "Yes, Master. Only, may I make a request?" "You may ask. I can promise nothing until I hear it, of course." "Master, should I make a mistake, do something wrong, could you punish me, and not Leona?" "Jade, I can see to it that any serious offenses are brought to me to deal with, that is not a problem, that's the rule now. Can I see to it she never scolds you? No. That wouldn't be right, Jade, or fair to either of you. If you are to work with her, then she must be able to correct you, have some say in minor things. She is the cook, the kitchens are hers, just as the stables are under Sable's authority. Also, how would it be for the others, for her to scold them and spare you? And then I must consider you. You may find yourself working for a woman in the future, how would it be if you couldn't accept an earned rebuke? Leona is a fair person, Jade, but kind and gentle. She would not scold without reason, and then she would never be harsh. She would only seek to teach, Jade, same as myself or Sable." Fox paused, moving to sit in the chair across from Alex, keeping his voice low. "I understand that you had a bad experience with a woman, I assume it was with your former mistress, but that is the past, little one. It would be wrong for you to continue to be afraid, without just cause. You must learn that Leona means you no harm, you must learn to react to her as a person, and not be afraid simply because she is a woman. So, I'm sorry, Jade, but for your own sake, do you earn a scolding, it will be from her, and any small punishments you earn, as well. Can you understand what I do here, Jade?" "Yes, Master. What you say, it makes sense. I am only afraid." "There is no 'only' when one is afraid, little one. And so, I will allow this much as well. Do you ever become too frightened or distraught over a scolding or punishment, you may ask for me. I will not interfere, but I will come and be with you while you accept your due. If I'm not available, then you may ask for Thomas or another male to be with you for comfort's sake. It isn't much, but it's all I can offer, Jade." "It is a great deal, to me, Master. I will be alright, knowing that. She...she isn't allowed to spank me, is she, Master?" He knew the answer, but needed to hear it. "No, Jade. I am the only one allowed to punish in that manner. Mind you, do you stick your fingers into the cake icing, she has a bad habit of smacking your hand with a spoon." Fox was teasing this, and Alex grinned, having seen her tap the master's hand once when he'd done just that. It hadn't hurt, had been done with affection, and Alex relaxed a little. "She's a good woman. In many ways, she's the only mother I've ever known, and I love her dearly. I trust her completely, Jade. I ask only that you try your best, and fear only what you should, and nothing else." "As you wish, Master. I promise to try." "Thank you, Jade." Fox squeezed Alex's shoulder, and moved back behind the desk. "Now, one more thing. You have not counted your money since you have been here. While your trust means much to me, it is a good idea to count it at least once a month. Have you your key?" Alex pulled out the long leather tie from his shirt front. It held his keys safely tucked away, and they were skin warm when he touched them. He chose the small one and, when Fox opened the chest, found the box with his name on it. Alex put the key in the lock and opened the box. He was surprised to see how many coins were there already, but turned his attention to the counting of them. Numbers he'd known when he arrived, as well as the different coin amounts, but counting his own coins was a new experience completely. He carefully added his money, writing the amount on a small scrap of vellum that the master placed by his hand, along with a quill. He still struggled with the quill, not yet having the knack of not blobbing the ink, but he made the figures quite legibly and then closed and locked the box back. "Finished? Very well, remember, come by once a month or so and check it." "Yes, Master." "Is there anything else?" "Master, Sable told me that you have some books, for the children. He says they are small and easily read. Think you I could read one?" "I do, with little or no trouble. But they are children's stories, Jade, and quite simple. I fear they will not entertain you much." "It would be entertaining enough to read a book by myself, Master. May I borrow one?" "Of course. You may borrow two, that is the rule. The library is for all here, Jade. I make a note of what book you take, you sign beside it. If you lose or destroy a book, then the cost comes out of your wages. You may keep them for a fortnight, or you may bring them back anytime within those two weeks. Library day is usually Sunday, but I think we can bend the rules for you a bit." He winked, pointing to a low shelf. It held some dozen books. "That shelf, you may chose any two. After that, I have some others, only a little harder, you might want to choose them next time." Alex looked at the books, selecting two of the thicker ones. He watched as the master wrote the names down, then took the quill again, writing 'Jade' in a precise, if not exactly smooth hand. Fox held the books out to him, and Alex wondered at the wealth his master was so free with. "How rich are you?" Alex bit his lip when he realized he'd wondered it aloud. "Forgive me, Master, I meant no offense." "None taken, little one. For answer, I am rich enough that few can question my ways, and poor enough that those that might, seldom take an interest. I do not show my worth in fancy houses or clothing, or in ways that might cause talk. I will tell you something, Jade, people do not care if you have wealth, only if you have things. You could have more gold than the king, and none would speak ill, but appear dressed in the latest fashion, in a brand new carriage, and you will be surrounded by enemies by sun's set. I do not care for such things, but if I did, I would avoid them, else others look too closely at my beloved Samstar Fields. My treasure is not in a box, but in people, my people. Sable, Fitz, Lang, Leona, Frokey, the Captain. All of them, all of you. You. When I count my wealth, Jade, I count you." The younger man was moved by this, and Fox reached out, cupping his face briefly. "Put your books away, and go tell Sable I've asked for you to work in the kitchens, beginning tomorrow. If he has a conflict with that, he may discuss it this afternoon, I will be in my study. Repeat, please." "I'm to put my books away and tell Sable you've asked for me to work in the kitchens, beginning tomorrow. If he..." Alex finished reciting his orders, the words giving him time to recover. "Very well. Dismissed." "Master? Thank you. I will trust Leona." "I know you will, little one. Now, off with you, I'm far too busy to chat with a slave." Fox said this with a grin and a wink, and Alex gave a low chuckle, playing along. "Yes, Master. My apologies, Master. At once, Master." "Out!" Fox mock-growled it, taking a threatening step forward. Alex laughed, darting toward the door. He went to his room, putting the books carefully down on the table, then made his way to the stables. He found the stabler in his office, and knocked softly. Sable held up a finger, meaning he was to wait there for a moment. A look inside showed Sable to be with Gibson, and the boy was telling something in his hand language. Alex could understand most of it by now, but this tale seemed very involved. Sable was paying strict attention, and now he nodded. "That's fine, Gibson. I'll talk to the master, but I see no problem with it. Let Lang know you have my consent." With a smile, Gibson made the sign for thank you and scampered off, pausing to wave at Alex. Alex returned it, then went into Sable's office, taking the spot Gibson had been in only moments before. "I have a message from the master." Alex repeated it word for word, as he had been taught, and Sable bit the corner of his top lip, holding it thoughtfully. "I have no conflict with it, and the master's right, the main foaling is past. Besides, do I need your talents, Leona will let me borrow you back. Still...well, I've enjoyed working with you, Jade. To be honest, I'm going to miss having you in the stables. But you'll be a great help to the kitchens right now, and I think you'll learn much from the work. It will be good for you, Jade, there's no denying that. I'll still expect you in the afternoons for a riding lesson, you can work that out with Leona, find when she can best spare you." "Yes, sir." The 'sir' made Sable take notice. He'd gotten used to it, but only when Alex was upset. "Jade, is something wrong?" "No, Sable. Only, I...I do not care for women. They frighten me, Sable, and there are many women in the kitchens. And, while Leona has always been kind to me, she will have say over me, do I work for her. I promised the master to try, and I will, but..." "You're frightened." Alex nodded. It was still odd to mention being afraid and have anyone care, much less do anything about it. Sable thought a moment, then had an idea. "Jade, think of this for a moment. What would the master do if I were suddenly to be cruel to the slaves that work for me?" "He would find out why and put an end to it at once. He'd be very upset, there would be a severe punishment. He might..might even sell you." "Exactly. And do not doubt that he would sell a cruel slave, we have seen it happen here before. Leona has been with our master since he was a young boy. She is largely responsible for the goodness you see in him now, having been in charge of his raising, along with his father. Think you she would still be here, were she cruel? You have heard of the master's father, see you any of that in Lord Fox? No. Our master is a kind, good man because it is in his nature to be so, and because Leona taught him there was another way, that he need not be like Lord William. So, when you work with her and she scolds, remember, she scolded our master as well, and he loves her dearly." "She raised him?" He was simply curious, but it was no secret, and Sable nodded. "As though he were her own. She tucked him in at night, woke him in the mornings. She bathed him and tended his ills, praised him when he did well, spanked when he did wrong." "She spanked the master?" Alex had seen her scold, but this was something else entirely. Sable made a small sound of amusement at the young man's face. "He was but a child, Jade, and then I think it was only once or twice. You could ask the master, do you want more details." It was a tease, and Alex shook his head almost violently as he considered the mere idea, laughing as he did so. "No, I believe I have knowledge enough of that subject. But your other words are wise, Sable. I will try to think on it like that, it will help. Again, you have made me feel better, taken what frightens and mute it. Thank you, Sable. I have enjoyed working here, too. When the time comes and I am allowed to choose, do I ask for the stables, will you allow it?" "Gladly. You will always be welcome here, Jade. Always. You need not work, I would enjoy the pleasure of your company, when you have it to spare." "As would I." Alex felt himself blush, but it was the truth, and he owed Sable the truth. The man was looking down at him now, a touch of desire visible in his eyes. "It's time for your lesson. Prepare Jessopa." Alex moved to obey, grateful for the task. He would have to think, and think hard, about what was happening to him. Sable was beginning to make him feel things, and he wasn't sure about any of them. The next day found Alex nervously reporting to the kitchens. Leona saw him from the corner of her eye, seeing the way he looked everything over completely before taking a deep breath, removing everything but calm from his face, and squaring his shoulders. She smiled, her heart going out to him. The master and Sable had both made a point to speak to her about Alex, and Leona had assured them both that she would be extra patient and considerate of him. That he meant a great deal to both men was obvious, and that alone made her eager to get to know him better. She looked up from her desk now as he approached, smiling warmly at him. "Ah, Jade, so it's your turn in the kitchens now?" "Yes, mi- ma'am." Sable had assured him that 'ma'am' would be acceptable, many of the slaves referred to Leona as such. She caught that he had nearly called her 'mistress,' and knew he must be very frightened. That sort of slip hadn't happened in a long while. "I'm glad to have you here, Jade. The others will be glad as well, we can use a good worker, and that is what everyone says you are. A good worker, careful but quick. That's my favorite kind, Jade." She grinned, and her words helped thaw Alex just a bit. He didn't realize he had a reputation, thought the words merely a kindness, but word had spread. Those who had worked with him said the same thing, he might be unskilled, but he made up for it with his willingness and attention to detail. "It is nearing winter, Jade, and we must see that, no matter how harsh the weather, those within have enough to eat well, through the winter and beyond. There is much to do, and a great deal of it will be both hard and dirty. Still, it is worth it to be able to provide well for so many, regardless of circumstances. It is one less worry for the master, knowing his people will not go hungry." As she said this, she turned to pick up a list, and so missed the startled look. Alex had never considered this. He knew, of course, that the master worked hard to provide for them all, but didn't consider that he could directly ease the burden with his labors here. "If you'll follow me, Jade, I'll show you the main areas, and then get you started for the day." She pointed out the pantry, with the foods used daily. She showed him the larger storeroom beyond where the bulk of the dry goods were kept. A corner of this room also held large pots and cooking vessels seldom used. On a shelf were rows of crocks all sizes. The smallest would be held easily in Alex's palm, the largest looked as though it might need himself and another man to move. She led him back into the pantry and opened another door set into a corner. It opened onto stairs leading down. "This is for cool storage." They had gone down a dozen or so steps, and now were in a low ceilinged chamber. It was the room Drell had mentioned to him long ago. He saw the vent holes, and a shallow ridge built around one section revealed a bit of the stream that ran underground here. "This is where we freeze things in the winter, and simply cool them in summer. Down below is the chamber where we cool things in winter and freeze them for the summer." She grinned, and he followed her down another set of steps, into an underground chamber. It was wider, the walls were rock, but there was no sunlight here. Alex felt the panic setting in, as the walls seemed to move closer together. Leona had seen more than one slave react badly to the cave, and had kept them near the stairs for that reason. Now, she quickly urged him up the stairs, and the ones beyond it. Once they were in the kitchen, she rushed him right on out the door to the yards, before finally releasing his elbow and stopping. Alex was leaning forward, hands on his knees, panting harshly. He gagged a couple of times and he looked pale, but she could see he was getting better already. "I'm sorry, mistress." He didn't even notice it, still busy breathing again. "It is nothing to be sorry for, Jade. Many people are affected the same way by the caves as you, it is nothing wrong or unusual." He searched her eyes, finding them to hold the truth, and nodded, accepting. "If I had known, I would not have taken you down, Jade. My apologies for a bad start." "As you say, you did not know. I didn't know. Nothing to be sorry for." "Are you feeling better now? Think we can go back to the kitchens and pantry?" "Yes, ma'am." "Good. Now, let me show you where we keep the rest of the supplies." She led him back inside, pointing out all the main areas, and by the time she was finished, Alex was back in control. "Now, Jade, I'd like you to start for the day. We are going to be doing pickling beginning this week. You saw the crocks?" He nodded. "They are clean, but before they can be used, must be boiled. I will need you to make a fire in the third pit, use the largest iron tub. Fill it half-full of water and then place the third largest tub in the first, filling it with water as well. When the water in the first tub is boiling hard, begin putting the crocks in the second. They must remain for three minutes, I will give you a watch to use. They will then be placed on the drying tables to cool. When you get to the larger crocks, they can go directly into the first tub. You'll need to keep an eye on the water, we do not want them to boil dry, and mind you handle the hot crocks with care, let you be burned, or the crocks broken. There are tongs, and gloves to wear. Think you can remember all of that?" He repeated the instructions back to her almost word for word. She was pleased, but surprise led her to tease. "Gods, another of my children with fairy in their blood. It's a wonder the elves don't sleep on the doorstep." She was shaking her head, but Alex could tell she meant only humor and affection. She'd turned away, and again missed his look. "Very well, Jade, you see to that. If you have any questions or problems, you have but to let me know, I'll be about." Alex began by building the fire. He found the tubs, lugging them into place and starting with the water. He then moved back inside, using one of the wheeled carts to take the crocks out in only two trips. Alex put the cloths into place on the drying tables, and realized that Leona had forgotten to give him the watch. "The watch, ma'am." He watched as she pulled the small mechanism from her pocket. "I'm sorry, Jade, it slipped my mind. Now, I mean no offense, but know you how to use one of these?" "Sable taught me." "Excellent. Now, again, three minutes boiling, then cool to the touch." "Yes, Leona." She handed the watch over without a second glance, and Alex held it carefully. It occurred to him that he might soon have enough money for a watch of his own, a very simple one, true, but it was a possibility. The thought made him grin. He'd gone from being a naked, starving, half-wild animal to contemplating buying a watch, and in such a short time. Alex paused to send a prayer of thanks to Danally, then began his work. He finished the crocks sooner than he'd expected, and went to find Leona. "The crocks are finished, Leona. Shall I put them back on the shelves?" "Yes, please, Jade, but leave the fire and the water, I'll get you started on the next task when you're done." Alex carefully unloaded the crocks, then returned to Leona. He handed her back the watch, but she shook her head. "You'll need it for the next task. We don't like to waste anything, I'm sure you've noticed that already. We recently had several boars taken in a hunt. The neck and back bones need to be cooked down, the meat and morrow will eventually cook off the bones. When that happens, and the bones are clean, we skim the broth and boil it down further, adding some seasonings. It's not a pretty process, but it makes a strong, nourishing base. Do we have a bad winter, it will serve us well. You'll need clean water in the inner pot, of course, so be careful draining it." She got Alex set up and retrieved a large bag from the cold storage. Leona went over the details a final time, and then left him to it. It was the nearest thing to actual cooking Alex had ever attempted, so he was a little nervous, but her instructions had been excellent. When the bones were clean, he removed them, then skimmed the broth carefully. Alex put the bones on the tray to dry, unsure what she was going to do with those, and went to fetch the seasonings. "Leona, the bones are out and drying and I've skimmed." "Excellent. Marita, help Alex with the seasoning, please." A lean blonde gathered the items needed, and followed Alex to the pot. She began simply enough, adding an assortment of vegetable pieces. They were cut in large chunks and she explained they would be easily fished out later. She then had him help her make the seasoning bag. Alex took the fine mesh cloth, and folded it into a large square. Marita put the seasonings into the cloth, and showed Alex how to tie it. That was when the problem began. The blonde, under the pretext, allowed her hands to linger on Alex's broad ones. "You're a handsome one, Jade. I've been hoping to have some time alone with you. I thought maybe we could get to know each other better." It took him a moment to realize what was happening, it had been so long since he'd been subjected to a sexual touch, but then Alex froze, breathing hard. Marita mistook his change in breathing for passion, and now let one hand drift up his arm, squeezing the muscle there, the way the mistress used to do. It was too much, and Alex dropped the seasoning packet, and bolted for the barn. He flew in the doors, turned to Sable's office, and plowed into the stabler. Sable kept his feet, just barely. Alex had thrown his arms around the man's waist, burying his face in Sable's chest and shoulder, and he was shaking and panting, squeezing the breath out of the bigger man. "Jade? Jade, what is it? What's happened? Please, Jade, tell me what's wrong." Sable hadn't tried to move the younger man, only held him close, rubbing the lean back with one broad palm, quieting him the way he would one of his horses. It worked, and soon, Sable felt the arms loosen their hold. Easing the young man back, Sable looked into his face. "Can you talk now, Jade? Can you tell me what's wrong?" A timid feminine voice spoke from the doorway. "I can tell you, Sable. It was my fault. I...I touched his hand, while we were working. I was flirting with him, just a little, and when I squeezed his arm, he panicked. I didn't realize he was frightened until it was too late." Marita came into the room, standing well back from Alex, but where he could see her face. "Jade, I'm so sorry. I never meant to upset you, my intent was only to offer you an evening's pleasure later. But there is no force here, Jade, and I would not have touched you, had I known you found it distressing. Again, you have my apologies, and my amends, as soon as I can think of one. I will go to Leona, Sable, and explain what's happened." With a last, distraught look, she left. "Jade, is it as Marita explained?" "Yes, sir." "Has she left out anything, perhaps something she wasn't aware of?" "No, Sable, it was exactly as she said. But it...it reminded me of..." "Your former mistress? Something she did reminded you of the mistress?" "Yes. Sh-she squeezed my arm, the muscle there." "I see." "It was not her fault. I have seen others flirt here, she did it the way they do, and far less than most." "Why don't you tell me the whole thing, Jade? It might help." Taking a deep breath, Alex repeated everything, leaving nothing out. Sable was relieved, it was a very mild flirt, Marita could have had no way of knowing what would happen. The telling helped Alex calm down as well. By the time he'd finished, he was able to see it for what it had been, a simple misunderstanding, brought on by his lack of knowledge of any woman save the mistress. Alex eased back from Sable, looking up into the dark brown eyes. He half-expected to see censure, and was relieved when there was only concern. "Jade, are you calmed enough to discuss this?" "Yes, sir." "I'm glad that you came to me, Jade, I want you to know that. You did the right thing, coming for help, and not just acting out of fear blindly. I'm also proud of you for being able to see that Marita was only flirting mildly, and meant you no real threat or harm. Do you believe that she would never have forced herself on you? Never would have tried to make you do anything?" "I know. I could tell by how easily she let go, and how upset she was about it all. She wasn't afraid of getting in trouble for what she did, only worried that she'd caused me trouble." "Good, Jade, very good. Now, let's talk about how to make sure this situation doesn't occur again." "I've thought about that, Sable. It comes down to the fact that I've never really known a woman, aside from the mistress. I don't know enough about them not to be frightened in a close setting, I relate it all to a mistress, and a cruel one." A knock drew their attention to the doorway, where Marita politely waited. "If I may, I couldn't help but overhear. I might have an idea about that." Sable looked carefully at Alex, and when the young man nodded thoughtfully, motioned her into the room. She was careful to seat herself away from Alex, though he was the one she addressed. "Jade, I would like to make an amends to you, but I was unable to think of anything you wanted or needed, until I heard you talking just now. I don't know how this will seem to you, but it is an honest offer. Do you not like it, you have but to say, and I will make another amends, with no harsh feelings between us. "Jade, I could work with you, help you learn about women. There would be nothing sexual, nothing intimate, but you could become accustomed to being near a woman, treating her as just a person, possibly even a friend. You could ask questions, you could discuss your concerns and handle issues as they arose. No one would think ill of it, I could simply be a work partner, paired with you to teach you the kitchen skills, it's common enough with a novice kitchen helper." She paused, biting at her lip a moment before continuing, "Jade, as I said, this is an honest offer, I mean no harm or offense. Nor is it a way to get close to you. I simply offer my assistance as an amends, nothing more, I swear it." "On what do you swear?" It was an old trick, but had always served him well. "On my honor as a woman of free will." The chin went up, and Alex saw the pride and strength she drew from this position, saw it was one she would defend to the end. "Jade," Sable interrupted them softly. "It is your decision. But in my opinion, it sounds like a good solution all around. Do you wish time to think on it?" "No, Sable. I need no time. I will accept your offer gladly. Thank you, for your help. I'm sorry I overreacted, I know you meant nothing but good from it." "I appreciate that. I will leave you now and get back to the kitchens. Leona says for you to take the afternoon off, I can finish the base. You have a riding lesson soon, anyway." "Send her my thanks, please." With a nod, Marita took her leave. Sable looked at the young man still regaining his full control. Mentally, Sable was more than annoyed with Marita. He'd just decided the time was right to begin his own gentle courting, and now she'd probably scared Alex back to square one. He sighed, and Alex looked up, catching the annoyed, slightly wistful gaze. He'd heard the sigh as well, and he asked the stablemaster quietly, "Why do you sigh?" It was an honest question, and while he didn't have to answer, Sable hesitated only a moment before deciding to do so. "I sigh because I had recently begun to think you might enjoy my company more formally. We no longer work together every day and you seemed to be...warming to me. I had thought to approach you. Not for sex but...well, I had thought we might spend our off day together. A picnic, a ride, conversation." Sable shrugged, as though to convey it was fine, and Alex stunned himself by saying, "I would like that." Alex's eyes were wide at his own words, and Sable half- grinned at the sight, before asking, "Jade, are you sure? You'll forgive me, but you don't look sure." "No, no, I am sure. The day you describe sounds very good to me. I...I would like to spend it with you." Alex was blushing furiously, but Sable's pleased look of gentle wonder made him glad he'd spoken his heart. "Then, with your consent, I will see you on the next off day." "Yes." They shared a lingering look, before Gibson's arrival back in the stables snapped the older man out of his daze. "It's time for your riding lesson. Ready Jessopa, please, Jade." "Yes, Sable." Alex left the room in a daze, and didn't leave the stablemaster in much better shape. While he readied the horse, Alex found himself whispering in her ear. "Jessopa, do not be jealous, but I believe Sable and I are about to become suitors." The horse gave a soft snort of disbelief, and Alex continued. "No, it's true. He asked to spend our off day together, and I said yes. Why did I say yes? Why? He is handsome, true, and he has been more than kind, but it is not gratitude. I feel for him. I don't know what, but I do feel for him. Jessopa, do you think he cares for me as well? Not like he does everyone, I know he cares for me, but does he really care for me? He wants me, this I know. And, well, I can't be certain, but I think I might...might want him." Alex had walked her to the fence now, and as he secured her, he suddenly froze. "Jessopa? Does one kiss on a first day together? If he tries, should I allow it? If he doesn't, should I be offended? Oh, lady, there is no one I can ask about such things." He sighed, then grinned as inspiration struck. "Or just maybe, there is." With a smile, Alex formed a plan. The lesson was uneventful, with both men over their awkwardness. When the lesson was over, Alex walked Jessopa over to the track, and Sable let them have a full run. The track was smooth, and they were alone, so the chances of something bad happening were almost nil. It was pleasant and good practice, and both slave and horse were better for it. "Jade, I'm going on in. Put Jessopa away, the usual, then you're free to go." "Yes, Sable." While Alex began Jessopa's cool down, he watched the older man leave. He took in the wide shoulders, the lean waist and long legs. Alex even looked at the muscled rear as it walked away, though it made him slightly uncomfortable to do so. Still, there was no denying that the stabler was a handsome man. His thoughts a pleasant buzz, Alex turned his attention back to Jessopa. When she was properly cooled down and put away, Alex headed into the main keep. He paused by the kitchen, unsure of how he would be received, but being too well trained since his arrival not to know what he should do. He saw Leona writing at her desk, and approached cautiously. "Ma'am?" "Jade, how are you?" Alex saw at once that there was nothing in her eyes save concern, and relaxed a bit. "Fine, thank you. I-I wanted to say I'm sorry, for earlier with Marita. She did nothing wrong, Leona, honestly, it was a simple misunderstanding, nothing worse. Please, she meant no harm." Alex had wondered if Marita would be punished, and Leona saw this. "She's in no trouble, Jade, do not worry, little one. She explained what happened and I believed her. As for your apology, there is nothing to apologize for, Jade. You were frightened, nothing else. Jade, have a seat, please." He obeyed, and she began, choosing her words carefully. "Jade, may I speak plainly?" "Please." "I understand you are afraid of women. I understand you are afraid of me. I understand. I was a long time overcoming my fear of men, and it was only raising the master that let me then. If there is anything I can do for you, Jade, anything at all to help make this situation better for you, easier, you have but to say. Marita has asked my consent to be made your work partner, it is granted. You have my admiration and my respect for your willingness to work through your fears. I wanted you to know that, Jade." "Thank you, Leona." "Welcome, Jade. Now, be gone, I've a supper to finish and a list to make." She grinned, and he inclined his head, then left. In the main room, Alex found the person he was looking for. Thomas was pouring a glass of the watered wine, and when he saw Alex, he smiled. "Greetings. Would you care for a glass?" "Yes, thank you. Thomas, do you have a moment? I'd like to talk with you." Handing the glass over with a frankly curious gaze, Thomas nodded. "I am through for today. Is there something wrong?" "No, but I require advice." "And you're coming to me? Poor lad, you are desperate. Come, let's go to your room or mine and we'll talk." His teasing manner put Alex at ease, as always. Alex led them to his room, taking a seat on the bed and giving Thomas the chair. Alex shut the door, at first, and Thomas' eyebrows rose, but he only waited silently. "Thomas, I...well, I have been approached by someone." "You need do nothing, Jade. If you need help telling this person 'no,' you have but to say. And do they not take no for an answer, you let me know. I'll make sure they remember the rules here..." "Thomas! Hold your weapons!" It was a joke, but Alex was warmed by this show of support from his friend. "I appreciate your defense of me, but you have it wrong. I don't need help telling them no. I already said yes." At this, and seeing the slight blush creeping up the handsome face, Thomas relaxed fully, a mischievous grin making a bold appearance. "Sable finally asked you, eh?" At the look of absolute shock, Thomas began to laugh. That night, at evening meal, Alex found himself seeking Sable. The stabler was sitting a table across and away, but Alex could see him plainly. The big man's eyes met his own more than once, and it was always pleasant. A soft smile, a knowing grin, and Alex was unable to look away for more than a few moments. "Jade!" The voice, insistent and right in his ear, made him startle. Fitz was looking at him with amused exasperation. "I've called you four times, my friend. Can you tear yourself away from your fellow cow-eyed suitor, I've a matter to discuss." Alex was blushing furiously, but he knew Fitz was only lightly teasing, and doing so in front of everyone to both break the news gently and to get Alex accustomed to the teasing. "My apologies, Fitz. You have my attention." "I'll be doing the bits for Danally and the kennels the end of this week. I've spoken to Leona, she's going to have you do some smoking then as well, so it'll be no trouble at all. I'll see you Friday to show you the process." "Friday, aye." "That was all I needed, Jade. You may go back to your mooning now." "I believe," Alex said with what he hoped was the right amount of tease in his voice, "that somebody is jealous." There was laughter all around the table at this, if only because no one had heard Alex tease in such a way before. "Of that pile of muscle and horse muck? Quite likely." Fitz's eyes sparkled, and he clapped Alex on the shoulder briefly, before heading out. The next morning found Alex back at the kitchens. Marita was waiting, as was Leona. The older woman made no mention of the previous day, only drew a list of chores from a pocket. She went over each task with them, explaining what was to be done and where the materials might be found. It was largely heavy work, but since Marita was helping him, there would be some basic cooking as well. She'd worked in the kitchens several times in the past few years, and would be teaching Alex the basic skills. Together, they would make bases and mixes, to be held in storage for the winter to come. Leona handed the list to Marita, knowing that Alex had it firmly in his head, and left them to get to work. "Good morning, Jade." Marita offered it timidly, and Alex really looked at her for the first time since the incident. She was wearing a plain, loose dress, obviously old and chosen out of deference to the work they were doing. Her hair was tied back, and her apron was neatly cinched. She handed him an apron, as well, and he took it easily. "Good morning, Marita." His voice was as shy as her own had been, and she gave him a smile before turning to the list. "We're going to need two fires, Jade. If you'll see to them, I'll gather the jars on the cart." "Yes, ma'am." It slipped out, and Alex saw the hurt spark in her eyes as she turned away. "Marita?" "Yes?" "I'm nervous. I didn't mean it. I'm not scared of you, just the situation. I kn-know you won't do anything." "Thank you, Jade." The smile was sincere, and Alex forced himself to return it, before heading out to start the fires. The first task was simple enough, boiling all the jars, the same way Alex had boiled the crocks the day before. While they cleaned over one pit, fat was set to melt over another. "What do they use this for?" Alex wasn't repulsed, not exactly, but it wasn't a pleasant sight or smell. "Part of it stays in the kitchens, to be used for cooking. Part will go to Fitz, as a base for salves and such." They were standing by a prep table. Marita was showing him how to cut the skin from the fat, sliding the flat of the blade as close to the skin as possible. Once skinned, any meat or gristle was cut away, and the remaining fat was cut into cubes. Marita had two of everything, and Alex followed her lead, picking the same instrument she did, and trying to make his movements match hers. "Try to cut the cubes all the same size, Jade, that way they melt at the same rate." Alex struggled for a moment, then switched the knife to his left hand. "Is that acceptable? I can do it much easier with this hand." "Please. Jade, always use the hand you want, it makes no difference in cooking at all. Wait, that's not quite true, some of the implements were designed for a right hand. Still, for knife work or stirring, anything that doesn't specifically require a right hand, feel free to use your left." Having switched, Alex tried it again, with much greater success. "Yes, that's it. Good, Jade." The praise warmed him, as always, and soon they were working in companionable silence. They finished the rendering and took the jars back inside. The fat they poured into small clean buckets, and while Alex carried them inside and down the ladder, Marita took them from there. Alex was relieved to find he didn't panic as long as he was holding the ladder, could look up and see the light of the room above him. When that task was done, Marita gathered a basket of peppers, a needle and thread. "This next task is easier done sitting." Alex took a spot across from her, and again followed her lead. She threaded the needle, and he noticed that the string felt odd. "What is this string?" "It's been dipped in melted beeswax, like a candle wick. You string the peppers on waxed thread, so the string doesn't rot and spoil the pepper. It also helps seal the needle hole, letting them dry better." When he had a long string ready, she handed him a small disk of wax. It went on first, then the peppers. She left a two-finger space then strung another. Alex saw this was the pattern, and they were soon making a dent in the huge basket of loose peppers, and filling another with the strung ones. Any peppers with bad spots were set aside, to have the good parts chopped up and put away for freezing and to make bases with. It was tedious work but not hard, and Alex knew this would be a good time to ask some questions. "Marita? You said I should talk to you, ask you things. I have no experience talking with women, so if I ask something that offends..." "Jade, please, do not let that concern you. This is to help you. To learn, you must ask, no offense will be taken. If it's an improper question, I will answer and warn you of such, so you do not say the wrong thing to another woman. But for myself, you will not offend. Embarrass, possibly, but not offend." She grinned a bit, and Alex relaxed, seeing that she meant it. "Very well. You, uhm, you said you had noticed me. Am I... I know I am not handsome like the master and I lack Sable's muscles, but am I...fair?" Marita was stunned. If she couldn't see his discomfort and insecurity plainly, she'd think he was fishing for compliments. The man honestly had no idea of how attractive he was. "Jade, you are more than fair. Your eyes alone would make you fair, but you have a full mouth and good hair, also. And while you lack Sable's muscles, your own are well shaped, and solid enough. You are not handsome like the master, but you are handsome, Jade, never doubt it. I am not the only person that has noticed either." "Are you the only woman?" "No. I've heard male and female alike praise your looks, Jade. But it isn't just your looks. It's your voice, your manner. You're quiet, but you pay attention. You hold yourself apart because you're shy, not because you're arrogant, that's easy to see. You work hard, you work fast, and you do good work. You don't complain, Jade, that means much at Samstar Fields." Alex thought this over, slightly stunned at this view of himself. Alex had thought that perhaps the best way to ask, was to first explain his background. This was as good an opening for that explanation as he could think of. He said nothing for three peppers, then spoke again. "I have never been with anyone by choice. Not ever. My first experience was rape, and I have not had an experience yet that was anything else." Marita deliberately kept working, but she felt her insides freeze at his words. She didn't look up at him, simply picked up another pepper to string, willing her hands not to tremble. "It wasn't just men, either. The worst rapes came from women. With a man, eventually he'll complete, and stop. With women, it can last for hours. Once, on a trip to court, the mistress decided to take the sleeping carriage. She had me chained across from her, and raped me all the way there. We left shortly after dawn, and didn't arrive until late that evening. It only stopped when she did, to use the chamber pot or to eat or stretch her legs. Then it was back in the carriage and back to the handle of her riding crop, or one of the wooden or metal pieces she favored. When we stopped for her supper, she changed clothes, and decided I should be removed. She was afraid the blood would get on her new cloak. It had started to spurt, instead of just pool." Marita thought she would be ill, used all of her willpower to remain carefully neutral for his sake. It was obvious he was telling her this because he felt he needed to explain, to make something clear, and Marita had learned that speaking of the past could often ease the future. She remained silent, starting another string. "The mistress was a thousand times worse than the master. Always. He gave me to her most of the time. He liked to see the way her mind worked. If she thought of something cruel enough, amusing enough, he'd reward her, a new piece of jewelry, extra gambling money. Her friends were the same, each always trying to outdo the other in torment. Over time, I suppose I just assumed that all women were like that. I should have known better, there were female slaves that seemed human, but mostly, I just learned to be afraid." Marita could tell that he was finished for the moment, and she chanced a deep breath and a quick look up. His eyes were shadowed, face lined with pain and fear. "Jade, I do not blame you for your fear. You have more than enough reasons to be afraid of women. I can only say that, just as there are cruel men, there are men like the master. Just as there are cruel women, like your old mistress, there are women like Leona. We are, some of us, most of us, human." "I have seen that. I know it, from my time here. But now you see why I need your help. I have no idea how to talk to a woman, how to treat them beyond the politeness required by the master." "Small wonder. Well, to start with, I have an idea that might help some. Look at me, Jade." Emerald eyes obediently raised, and she held up her hand. "You do not have to touch, but hold your hand up to mine." He did so, wondering what point she was making. Marita had her hand to the side, and now pointed out the difference in sizes. His hand, though he was not much taller than her, was much larger, broader. The wrist was much thicker, the forearms nearly double her own, despite his still slender build. "Jade, I am not a mistress. There is no mistress here. Here, there are only other slaves and free women and, save the Captain, you are bigger and stronger than us all. You could, were you attacked or hurt, fight back and win. The master wouldn't punish you for defending yourself, or at least, not much. You need never suffer physically at the whim of a woman again. Never, so long as you are here." Alex hadn't thought of it that way. It had never occurred to him that, if a woman hurt him, he could defend himself, could overpower her. Alex looked again at the difference in their hands and nodded. Marita caught his comprehension, and returned her hands to their work. "It's little enough, but it's a start." There was no more talk between them for a while, each lost in thought. "Marita?" "Yes, Jade?" "W-would you hold up your hand again?" She did so at once, and Alex took a deep breath, steeled himself, and pressed his own against it, palm to palm. Marita could feel the tremble in his fingers, but he continued to hold it there for several seconds, then put his hand around her wrist. Alex could feel the fine bones, and he realized that, if he were to squeeze hard, he could do serious damage. He tightened the grip just a touch, and Marita suddenly raised her eyes to his own. "Do it. Squeeze, Jade. I give you leave, it's a good idea, only...only try to stop when I say, please?" "It would hurt you." "Yes. But it would bruise only, if you stop when I ask. It's a worthy cause, and a need, I think. Go on, please." Alex studied her eyes for a moment, then gave in. She was right, he needed to do this, needed to prove it to himself. He increased the pressure gradually, watching her hand redden, feeling the flesh give under his touch. He watched her face, seeing her eyes darken, then her jaw tighten. Alex was squeezing hard now, and a flicker of pain passed over her face, eyes beginning to squint, breath becoming harsh. Marita gave an instinctive little tug, but Alex knew she couldn't pull free. A hint of fear came into the blue eyes, and she gave a tiny cry as he increased the pressure again. "Jade, please. Stop now, please." She dropped her eyes, lowering her head, assuming a submissive posture. Instantly, he stopped his pressure, but looked at her now free wrist. The circle of his fingers was a dark red band, bruising a bit already. Marita pulled it close to her, rubbing it gently. She was looking at him again, and now she gave him a small smile, a look of trust. "Thank you." Alex stood up, running to the stables for a moment. He came back with a small ungent jar. He held it up as he sat back down across from her. "This will ease it, and stop the worst of the bruising. May I?" She nodded, handing her wrist back to him without hesitation. As carefully as he could, Alex massaged the ointment into her pale skin. He knew he would be thinking about this a long time tonight, would need to speak with the goddess as well. Alex finished tending her, and reached into his pocket for one of his cloth squares. He wrapped it around the wrist the way Fitz had wrapped Alex's hand, tying the ends and tucking them under. "Thank you, Jade. That does feel much better." He went to wash his hands, then returned the medicine to the stables. When he came back out, Marita was already working on the peppers again. "You're human, like Sable. He'd have done that, let me hurt him if he thought it would help. You're good." "I appreciate that, Jade. You're good too, or you wouldn't have let go. You'd have made me pay penance for the sins of another woman. You took no revenge, Jade, only proved to yourself that you have the power now." Alex was startled, not having considered that either. "I need to think a while. Could we just work, for a bit?" "Of course. We have at least a month as work partners, there's plenty of time to talk. We'll take it slowly. Now, pass me the thread, please." They finished the peppers in silence, and then Marita showed him how to chop the others. The bad spots would go to feed the animals, the rest were set into two bowls, one to be frozen alone, the other became the first part of a mix. "Alright, Jade, if you'll bring the basket of celery, I'll show you how to prepare it." When they had that cleaned and chopped, she gestured to the onions. "We'll do those in the cook's stream, if you'll carry the basket, I'll carry the knives and such." Alex hefted the basket easily, and followed her down a small path. The stream he'd noticed before, it ran past the keep and down to the stables. A tiny bit had been diverted, flowing from a narrow channel into the gardens. Sitting down beside the channel, Marita put the board right into the water, holding the onion under the stream. She showed Alex how to clean it, then chopped it, all under the water. It kept the irritation to a minimum. When they'd emptied the entire tub of onions, they returned to the work table. Marita took cheesecloth squares and ladled half a cup of each vegetable into the center, then tied them off and placed them in a basket. When they'd filled all the squares, Alex carried the basket inside, where Marita transferred them to a large crock for freezing. Upstairs again, she guided him to one of the indoor sinks, and a small pot of soap. "This takes strong odors out of your hands. Fitz makes it with lemons, it works quite well." Alex washed the way she was, copying her as he had all morning. "What is a lemon?" "A fruit, very tart. We don't get them often, but when we do, we use them well. We have a few trees, but they've yet to yield, they'll need years yet." She was drying her hands when Leona came by. "Marita, are you alright?" She motioned to the bandage, and Alex stiffened, going pale. "I'm fine, Leona. Please, it's a bruise, nothing more, and it was deliberate on my part. No one is hurt or upset. It was positive, and my own idea. Let it go, please." Looking at the girl closely, Leona determined it was the truth. She didn't like the idea, but she only said, "It's nearly time for lunch. Wait to start back on your chore list. Start showing Jade some of the plants, instead. Be sure to touch them, call their name, and list their use." "Yes, Leona." Marita turned, and Alex followed her obediently back outside and to the herb garden. When they were out of earshot, he spoke quietly, "You could have gotten me in trouble. You didn't. Thank you." "I would have had to lie to get you in trouble, Jade. We don't lie at Samstar Fields. Surely you know that by now." Marita was teasing gently, and he rewarded her with an honest, if brief, grin. "Alright, Jade. This is the herb garden. We'll begin with the mint." She touched each plant, telling him what she could about it. She also named any uses Fitz made of them, and didn't neglect to point out the useful parts of each plant. They made it only halfway through before the iron was rung. After lunch, Marita gathered a strange contraption, placing it in strong clamps on the side of the work table. She then had Alex bring up a huge vat of raw meat pieces, trimmed and boned. She also brought out a bag of dried seasonings, and cloth bags. "This is pork pieces, taken from older animals, and tougher cuts from young ones. As you know, we recently had several boars brought in. Most of the meat was eaten directly, but these pieces will be chopped, ground and seasoned. We'll then mix it, and stuff it into the cloth bags to be frozen." "And that makes?" "Sausage. It's Leona's recipe, from her home country. It's very good, and we can feed many with little." Alex was doubtful, but Leona's food had been excellent so far. He cut his share of the meat, then watched as Marita packed it into the machine, instructing him to turn the crank. It ground the meat, which she put into bowls, then seasoned. It wasn't easy to turn the crank, and he saw why his help had been needed. When it had all been seasoned, he helped her pack the bags, and got his first sewing lesson, as they used a simple stitch to seal them. It took a good three hours, and he was glad when the last bag had been put away. Marita motioned him to the hall and took a seat, pouring each of them a glass of the watered wine. Alex took it without demure, used to the idea now. He also picked up an apple, offering her one from the bowl. She declined, and he sank down onto the bench across from her. They rested in companionable silence. The morning and the work this afternoon had helped Alex stop seeing a woman, and only a coworker. He'd been able, for a little while, to forget what she was. "What's next?" He asked it around the apple bite, and she bit at her lip. "Jade, it's considered rude to speak with food in your mouth." Marita said it as gently as she could, not knowing how he'd react. He blushed a bit, but finished chewing and swallowed. "I wasn't sure if I should say anything or not." "You should. If you're going to be teaching me anyway, would you mind teaching me some manners, as well? I try to follow everyone else, but some things I'm not sure about. I'd be grateful." "Then I shall. But a little at a time. And I won't scold, only tell you, like then." He smiled, able to see for himself that she was going to great pains not to upset him. "So, now that I've swallowed, what's next?" He remembered the list, but Leona hadn't placed the tasks in order, merely listed them. "I think we should probably do the salting, then if there's time, we can begin the peeling and chop work for tomorrow." It made sense, and soon they were back to work. Alex was glad when the day was done, still, it had been productive, in more ways than one. After supper, when Marita went back to work in the kitchens, Alex left for his writing lessons with the master and his riding lesson with Sable. Alex stopped by his room, picking up the books to return. He looked forward to borrowing two more. He read aloud, sometimes, to the goddess, knowing she would correct any errors. It was wonderful to read. Alex often thought that, even if the master had been cruel, he wouldn't have complained, if only he'd still been taught to read. Thinking of how the master was merciful and kind, led Alex to another decision. He knocked on the study door, entering at the call. "Ah, Jade. Right on time, have a seat." "Master, before we begin, I have something to confess." Fox saw that whatever it was, it had the young slave concerned, but not frightened. Biting his lip, Fox took a seat, waiting patiently to hear. Alex told him everything, beginning with his explanation and continuing through Marita's words to Leona. "I did hurt her, a little, Master. She'll have a bruise on her wrist for a day or so. But I felt I needed to do it, Master. I feel I disobeyed, but then, I didn't, not really. What you say about the letter and the spirit of the law, that's what this was. I broke the letter of your law, but not the spirit. Nonetheless, I know how you feel about us hurting each other, Master, and if I've done wrong, I'm sorry. I'll take my punishment willingly." Fox was quiet for a long time, but Alex knew he was only thinking, trying to be fair. At last, the man sighed, rubbing his face with his hand. "I won't lie to you, Jade. I don't like what happened, any sort of hurting between my people disturbs me. But, I do think it was warranted, in this instance. I think it was an idea with genuine merit, and it served a clear purpose. Aside from that, it was Marita's idea and choice. It taught you much, and for that I'm grateful. Perhaps it even had to happen. There will be no punishment, but please, I would ask that you consider carefully the choice to learn things this way again. If you can find another path, please do so." "Yes, Master. Thank you for not punishing me." "I only punish to teach, Jade, and there was nothing here to learn. Thank you for telling me, your honesty and integrity mean much to me, little one. And now, if there's no more to be said of this, let's begin your lesson." It was a good lesson, with Alex able to relax, now that he'd confessed. He couldn't stand the thought of keeping a secret from the master. He wished he could tell Lord Fox the truth of his past, but despite his hope and faith in the man and this place, Alex didn't dare confess all. Not yet. Terrified as he was, he knew that, if he stayed then one day, he would. Alex would go down on his belly and tell the master everything, and if it cost him heaven, he'd fall from grace willingly. Because there were no lies at Samstar Fields. The day would come when he could no longer look into those eyes, and not tell the truth. Putting that thought aside, Alex moved onto the stables. The sight of Sable was a welcome one. The older man didn't turn around, merely said over his shoulder, "Hello, Jade." "How did you know it was me?" "The horses told me." Sable turned then, grinning widely. Alex looked past Sable into the stables, and saw that the horses were all awaiting his arrival. Jessopa was snorting impatiently, and Alex hurried to go to her. "There, my sweet lady, I am here." Alex stroked her back, and the horse nuzzled him. "And my greeting?" Sable asked it softly, and Alex peered at him shyly. It was a tease, nothing required, but Alex was feeling very good about himself. With only a short hesitation, he moved to stand before Sable. The stabler all but held his breath, keeping very still. He could see that Alex wasn't frightened, merely unsure, and Sable waited to see what would happen next. Alex slid his arms around Sable in a brief, but sincere hug. "Hello, Sable." With great care, Sable used one arm to lightly return the hug. "Nice." Sable said it into green eyes that were now looking up at him hopefully. He tapped the nose gently, and smiled down at the younger man. "Thank you. Shall I get Jessopa ready, now?" "Yes. Because, if you stand here much longer, I'm going to kiss you, and I promised myself not to do that until our day together." Alex swallowed, the words making him a touch nervous, but not frightened. He thought about it, for just a second, then moved away somewhat reluctantly, lip between his teeth. "I promised myself I wouldn't let you, until then." Alex said it in a quiet rush, then all but ran to Jessopa, busying himself with her tack. But he could feel Sable's eyes watching him. He chanced a look back, and was relieved to see that Sable was only smiling softly at him, a look of pleased amusement on his face. It relaxed Alex, and he let it go as he prepared for his lesson. The lessons were getting more difficult as Alex's skills progressed. Today's task involved steering Jessopa without the use of his hands. Not just getting the horse to move, but actually guiding her around a series of objects without the use of either hand. Sable was allowing him to hold the reins in his teeth, but had warned Alex that soon, that control would be taken away also, leaving only his legs to mount and steer the animal, then dismount. Alex struggled a bit, as was to be expected, but by and large was successful. "Excellent, Jade! I'm very pleased with your progress." Sable was speaking as his instructor now, attitude completely professional. "Thank you, Sable." Alex had learned to accept a compliment politely, but he knew in his heart he'd never get used to being praised. It always warmed him, he soaked it up like a sponge, hearing the words echo in his mind again and again. No one praised excessively, and it always had to be earned, thus it could be savored freely. "You're welcome. Walk Jessopa to cool, please, then see her put away. After that, I'd like to talk with you in my office about the next part of your training." Alex nodded, dismounting without using his hands. He was stopped by Sable's hand on his shoulder. "No." It was said gently, but firmly, and Alex knew he'd done something wrong, though he couldn't think what. "Jade, I understand that we've been practicing mounting and dismounting without using your hands. But that's when I'm watching you, close by to catch you, should you fall. I was too far away to be able to do that just now. When the lesson is over, you need to use your hands to mount and dismount, it's not safe otherwise. Outside of lessons or an emergency, I don't want to see you dismount that way again, am I understood, Jade?" "Yes, sir." There was enough sternness in the soft words to bring out the word, and Sable regretted it, but simply nodded. "Good. I'll meet you in the study." So saying, Sable walked away. Alex knew Sable wasn't angry with him, had only been cautioning him to be careful, not actually scolding him. Accepting it within himself as such had taken time, but Alex could now be warned without feeling as though he'd failed. Finishing with Jessopa, the young slave headed to Sable's office, curious about the next stage. Brown eyes studied him carefully, wanting to know there were no hurt feelings. Alex saw the concern, felt the regret, and spoke mildly. "You weren't angry. You just want me to be careful. I'm fine, Sable." It was odd to be reassuring the big man, and the thought that he could make Sable uncertain, could cause him grief, gave him an even odder sense of himself. "Glad to hear it. Okay, have a seat, I need to discuss something with you." Sable leaned forward, elbows on his desk, hands clasped loosely before him, resting his chin on the thumbs. "Jade, we are a peaceable people here, you've seen this for yourself, no doubt. But the master is preparing us for life as free people, and there are times when free people must be able to defend themselves. All the men here, and most of the women, take some training to that end. With the women, they are usually taught only how to fight one on one, and the use of a knife. The men are usually given more extensive weapons training. The riding I've been teaching you is part of that. It will allow you to shoot a cross-bow without losing control of your animal, to wield both shield and sword from atop a moving horse." Sable paused here, biting at his bottom lip. "The master will be in charge of most of your training, he's the one that will talk with you about this further, plan your lessons and such. I'm only speaking to you of it now because I'm going to be adding to your skills. It is time you learned to jump a horse. This can be frightening, Jade, and risky as well. It is your choice to take the lesson or not. It's very valuable and can save your life, but it is your choice. If you accept, that will be where we next begin. If not, we will begin increasing your saddle times, working on endurance and field work." "Will there be risk to Jessopa?" Alex loved the horse, loved her dearly, and he frowned as Sable nodded. "Some. We do all we can to make it safe, and she's jumped before, but there is a small risk, always. It's a natural behavior for a horse, for Jessopa it's not so much a question of teaching her how, but teaching her when you wish her to jump." "It's a valuable skill? It will make me a more valuable slave to the master?" "In the sense that he can use you in more situations, yes. But you can have no greater value to him than you already do as a person, you know that?" "Yes. Though I still struggle with belief." It was very honest, and Sable smiled a reward. Alex took a moment longer to think, then nodded. "I will learn." "Very well. I'll inform the master of your decision, he'll likely speak with you soon about your other lessons. Any other questions, things to discuss?" "Nothing comes to mind." "Then one further task and you are dismissed. Please take this letter to Drell in the kennels. Tell him it's got the plans for the new run in it, and if he has any questions or problems, I'll be working in the office late tonight. Repeat." Alex did so dutifully, and Sable handed the paper over. "Thank you, Jade. I'll see you tomorrow." "Tomorrow." With a smile, Alex left. He'd never been to the kennels, though he'd continued his friendship with Drell. The dogs were indeed gaining in popularity, Alex had seen no less than seven of them sold in his time there. He'd only seen the dogs from a distance, not having much opportunity for a closer look. Now, as he approached the long, low building, he heard a multitude of barks and yips. In a fenced area, several dogs were playing, running and tussling. The puppies especially seemed to be having fun, gnawing at the ears of older dogs and tangling around their feet. Alex entered, seeing Drell at the far wall, examining a very pregnant female. He finished up and smiled as he turned and caught sight of his friend. "Jade! Welcome to the kennels. Am I finally going to get to show off my dogs to you?" "I'd like that, Drell, but first, business. I have a letter for you from Sable, and a message. He says..." Alex dutifully gave the message, and Drell took the letter, putting it down on a desk by the door. "Very well. Anything else?" "No." "Then let me introduce you to my dogs." Drell led him through the kennel building. It was arranged like the stables, but with lower walls and openings set low into the walls, for the dogs to go outside. Drell showed him around, then led him over to a door that went outside. He gave an odd whistle, and Alex watched in amazement as the dogs all ran to him, forming a line in front of him. Drell praised them, and put his hands on Alex's shoulders. "Friend." He said this firmly, repeated it, and then sent the dogs off to play. "What was that?" "Oh, sometimes, if they don't know you, they can be tense. If I tell them you're a friend, they'll relax around you. But here, let me call one over for you, show you the breed proper. Caleb!" At the soft call, one of the males obediently trotted over to Drell, sitting at attention again. "Show, Caleb." The dog stood, holding himself still, while Drell motioned Alex closer. The dog was nothing special to look at, on the surface. A mottled brown color, with a darker brown underbelly, a large head and thick tail. The chest was ruffed, the tail smooth and short haired. The dog's head came to near the top of Alex's thigh. "Plain, aren't they, just to look quick. But let me really show you this dog." Drell's voice was proud as a parent, and he gestured to the ears. "They're up and back, letting them hear better. Their eyes aren't much more than any other dog, but see the wrinkling around the nose? Lets 'em smell more, stronger. And the neck, it's thick, see? Hard to circle, even for a large hand. The feet," here he lifted a foot spreading the toes a bit, "have some webbing between the toes. They're good swimmers, love the water, I can scarce keep them out of it. That thick tail works like a rudder. The chest is broad, for strength, and yet the hips are not so large to cause problems. They can run for a long time, good endurance animal. Slow to start, but once going, fast enough, and spin on pin. Herding instincts from the sheep dogs, strength and courage of a mastiff, endurance and senses of a hound. They're smart, no doubt. Trainable, well, that's another matter, sometimes. Stubborn, the lot of 'em." Drell affectionately petted the dog in front of him, and Alex noticed it didn't even budge. "Relax. Good boy, good Caleb!" The dog, released from his tight control, bounded, licking at Drell's face and wagging his tail. Drell played a moment longer, then sent him off. "Well? What do you think?" "I know little of dogs, but they seem extremely obedient." "They should be, they're loved enough." Drell said it absently, and motioned Alex to follow him to another penned area. Inside, a young girl was working with an older puppy. She was obviously trying to teach it to sit. Alex watched as she put her hand on the dog's rump, the other under his chin. There was a gentle push with the back hand while she said firmly, "Sit." The dog didn't touch the ground, moving instead to her other side. The girl patiently put the dog back into position, and repeated the process. This time, the tail touched the ground and held for a second. "Good girl, good, good." A tiny sliver of dried meat was held out, along with enthusiastic petting. "That's how we train them. They're very smart and they like to work, they're a damn menace if they aren't worked. It takes patience sometimes, but we've got that aplenty." "You don't beat them?" The look of horror on Drell's face made Alex wish he hadn't asked. "Gods, no! I'd sooner take a beating myself. No, beat these dogs and you'll get nowhere. They're too stubborn to let it bother them. They'll rip your throat out, first chance they get. Now, scold 'em honest, and they'll cower like they've been whipped." "The master's method?" Alex offered it timidly, and Drell laughed. "More or less. There's no cruelty to anything allowed here, Jade. And I tell you, when I die, I'd as soon be sent back here as heaven." "So would I." The men shared a look, their common past as badly treated animals letting them fully appreciate the place they found themselves at now. With a smile, Drell led the way to yet another small building. Inside, in separate pens, three bitches were surrounded by young pups, not yet weaned. The mothers looked at Alex assessingly, not yet threatening, but cautious. Drell identified him as a friend again, and the dogs relaxed somewhat. "They understand a lot of words?" "Aye. We talk to them like you would people, and they respond somewhat the same. Hard to believe, but sometimes I can explain to them what I want before we train and they do better. Here, let's see if they'll allow you to see a pup." Approaching slowly, Drell spoke soothingly to one of the mothers. "Here, sweet, I've brought Jade to meet you and your fine pups. I'd like to show him one up close, take it out a minute. We won't leave the room, my word. Will you let me show your children?" The mother dog tensed, then her tail thumped and she visibly relaxed, tongue licking at her own muzzle. "That's a good lass." Drell chose a pup near the edge, holding it carefully. He held it out to Alex, who made sure to hold the pup the way the kennel master showed him. The bundle of fur looked up at Alex through narrowed eyes, little nose snuffling. A tiny tongue explored Alex's face, and the whiff of puppy breath made him grin. Miniature teeth, razor sharp, nipped at a thumb, and Alex rubbed a hand over the soft warm body, before holding the puppy out to Drell. "You put him back, please. She'll know then to trust you." Alex moved slowly, his time in the stables serving him well here. Carefully he placed the puppy down, and the mother dog shifted enough to smell her offspring thoroughly. Sensing nothing amiss, the bitch raised her head, sniffing at Alex's hand. He was a little afraid, but held still, and the dog bumped his hand before lying back down, inviting her pups to nurse. "Thank you." Alex said it sincerely, used to talking to animals, and the tail thumped politely before he was ignored. "Well done, Jade." Drell patted Alex's shoulder as they exited, and led him back to the main pens. "Well, if you've no more business, I must get back to work. You're welcome to go out into the free play yard, they love company. Of course, there's usually a child or three in there, but adults may play as well. It's good for the dogs and the people." Drell grinned, and with a handshake, headed back to work. Alex watched the dogs play for a moment longer, thinking how happy they looked. Gods, they lived better than he ever had, until he came here. The master was kind to everything. Alex's brows drew together as he had to wonder why. Why was Lord Fox William of Mulder so good? Something must have happened, must have changed him. There was a story there, one he'd dearly love to know. Maybe he could ask Sable, on their off day. Thinking of their promised day together eased the frown from Alex's face. He was nervous about tomorrow, no doubt, but he was also oddly looking forward to it. Alex headed back to the keep, wanting to take a quick bath before evening meal. As he walked, he tried to imagine what it would be like. They would have breakfast together, then go to the stables. Alex knew Sable had something special in mind, but the older man was keeping it a secret, only smiling broadly when Alex timidly hinted for a clue. The smile was nice. Of course, it made Alex think of Sable's mouth, and being kissed. He was a little worried about that part. He knew he was curious. He'd never been kissed before, not really. Alex had worried that he wouldn't know how, and had taken all his courage in hand, going to Thomas. Alex laughed aloud at the memory of the boy's face when Alex had asked if he'd kiss him. Soon, amidst blushing explanations, Thomas had understood what was being asked, and had sighed with relief, before happily agreeing. In Alex's room, with the door closed but unlocked, Thomas had very carefully given Alex a chaste kiss on the mouth. Not wanting to frighten or hurt Alex, Thomas had sat in a chair, on his hands, while Alex leaned down, making the moves himself, more or less providing a practice surface. Two kisses later, and Thomas had gently teased him. "Now, Jade, kiss me again and I'm going to find myself in competition with Sable, and that won't do at all." "It-it was good enough, then? For you?" "Jade, it was very nice. I don't feel that way about you, but kissing you could change that easily enough. Honestly, you've nothing to worry about. Besides, Sable will lead, all you need do is follow. But you, Jade? Was it pleasant to you or did it frighten?" "It was pleasant. I was a little frightened, I admit, but not of you, Thomas, you know that?" "I know that. Jade, let me say this. Sable may break your heart, if your romance doesn't work out, but he would never hurt you, Jade, never take advantage of you. If something upsets or frightens, you have but to say, and he will stop, Jade. No matter how those green eyes of yours devil his dreams." "Thank you, Thomas." "Welcome, Jade." Chapter Four Coming into the washroom, Alex was still smiling. A glance around, from habit, showed it to be deserted, and he quickly stripped and began to bathe. When the door began to open, Alex merely wrapped a length of toweling around his middle and moved his stool into the corner, back to the walls. It wasn't a necessary precaution, he knew, but it did help ease his fears. He saw that it was Fitz, and relaxed completely. Alex trusted Fitz the way he did the master and Sable, knew there was no harm in the former priest. Even as he thought this, Fitz saw him and paused at the doorway. "Jade, would you prefer I bathe later? I have the time, I would not make you uncomfortable." "No, Fitz, stay." Alex hesitated a moment, then decided to make further use of the master's lessons. Looking into his soap pot, Alex said softly, "I trust you, Fitz. I know you to be my friend." And it was true. Alex didn't feel the complicated mix of emotions around Fitz that he did around the master and Sable, but he cared for him, and counted him close. Fitz looked quietly delighted, his pale eyes shining, his mouth under the moustache pleasantly curved. He knew the young slave would be awkward at having shared this, and so carefully turned to his own soap pot and bucket. But his voice was warm and rich as he spoke. "I thank you, Jade. Your words mean much to me, as does your friendship. As do you." Nothing more was said, but the silence was as comfortable as the spring sun, and Alex grinned at the man when their eyes met. Fitz turned to rinse, and the grin was ripped away by horror. His gasp was audible as he got his first look at Fitz's back. There was a scar, deep and jagged, that ran from Fitz's neck to his waist. It looked as though someone had tried to cut the man in half with a too short instrument. At the end of the scar, very legible, were initials. Laid under this scar was a thick layer of fine scars, scars from a small scourge. He'd been beaten many, many times, and by the same hand, before the cut. Fitz heard the gasp, and quickly turned. The green eyes were staring into his own with shock, and Fitz knew he'd have to explain to the boy. Taking a stool, he pulled it near, and began to speak. "My apologies, Jade. I forgot you'd never seen, or I would have taken more care. Yes, it is a bad scar, and the wound itself nearly cost me my life, twice. The initials at the bottom were carved by the man that inflicted that wound. It is a long unpleasant story, but one I will share with you, do you want to know." "Would it cause you pain to tell? I would not upset you, Fitz." "My appreciation for your concern, Jade, but it is not a tale that grows worse with the telling. It eases pain, often, to speak of it. I have told it many times, and while it does hurt to remember, it is a healing hurt, like the lancing of a blister. If you are curious, ask." "I am curious. I do not understand why anyone would hurt you so. You're a good man, Fitz, you were a priest, were you not?" "I was. Still am, in my heart. But I am only human as well, Jade. Never forget, when you see a man of God, which comes first in that viewing." Fitz sounded sad, and Alex nodded, solemnly accepting this as a new rule. "Now, let us finish our bathing, and then, if you are free, you can come to my study, and I will tell you my story. I do not think there will be time before we sup, but mayhap we could share our meal there? We could talk while we eat, and then neither of us would miss the evening's time. Is that agreeable?" "I would like that, yes." "Then that is what we shall do. I will explain to the master where we will be and why, if you will ask the kitchens for a basket." "I will. And I will even ask Marita for an extra dessert. I will tell her you need comfort." Alex took a chance on making Fitz grin, and was rewarded when the sad cast lifted a bit. "Aye, and then you'll eat half of it yourself. I've noticed your taste for sweet things, Jade. Makes me wonder what you see in Sable." The jest brought a blush, and Fitz chuckled. "Come, our water cools." They tended to their wash, Alex finishing first and heading for the kitchens. Soon, he was back with a basket, heavy as always, and peeped into Fitz's rooms. The older man wasn't there yet, so Alex put down the basket and began looking around. It was allowed, if the door was open, and so Alex wandered the displays. He hadn't had a real chance to explore the room since learning to read, and he was thrilled that he could make out most of the words. The items became more special as he read of the history, the name, and personal notes Fitz had placed beside each one. Alex saved the case with the jade for last. As before, he was drawn to the piece that matched his master's eyes. He wondered again that the Captain had named him such. True, his eyes were green, but he didn't think they looked anything like the stones he saw in front of him. He saw a small card beside the jade, and began reading. Alex still read out loud, not from need but by choice. If he heard it, even from himself, he could remember it. Thus he had the master's stories in his head, should the books he borrowed ever be denied him. "From the Latin, meaning 'side.' It was be-believed," he struggled a bit, then continued, "to heal wo-wounds in the side." "Actually," Fitz's voice intruded gently from the door, so as not to startle, "the strict meaning was 'side,' but it was a common belief that it could actually replace the rib used by God to make woman. It was thought to fill a place in a man's soul, and echo the beauty and nature of woman." Alex thought on this as he picked up the basket, carrying it into the room beyond, into Fitz's study. "Does it heal? Is there truth there, or only belief?" Fitz's eyes sparkled, and he said softly, "Little Jade, enough belief can create its own truth. But," and he turned serious again, "to my knowledge, it has no healing properties, beyond the comfort and healing any item of beauty can give. Speaking of comfort, what have we for sup? I was in the village this morning and my noon meal was not to Leona's standards, bless them for sharing." The basket was opened to reveal roasted pork, and nothing else that Alex could recognize, save the biscuits and the gravy. Fitz saw the confused look, and pointed as he explained. "This is a stuffing, of sorts. It's made with bread and spices and corn grain. This is yam, like an orange potato, only buttered and fried. This is a wild greens mix, steamed with the pork fat and onions. Some people do not care for it, but I would ask that you try to eat a fair portion. It is very healthful, Jade, and despite your blossoming, you are still healing, deep within. It would be good for you." "Yes, sir." Fitz allowed it, knowing that the boy was responding to the healer giving instruction, and not to his friend. He also knew that Alex was distracted by something, and nervous about the story to come, so the slip wasn't a surprise. At least, Fitz thought thankfully, the lad hadn't called him 'master' in a good while. He watched as a large spoonful of the greens was dutifully placed on the platter. "You are an obedient soul, Jade, and you comply with grace. That is good." Alex smiled at the words, not often earning praise from Fitz. "Thank you." "And now that our plates are filled, let us have our moment of quiet, and then I will begin." They paused, Fitz praying, hands making the sign of the cross, Alex mentally focusing on Danally. When they were finished, Alex had a sudden thought. "Fitz? Do I offend you?" "What do you mean, Jade?" "Well, you said you were a priest still, in your heart. I worship Danally, you know this. Does my belief in the goddess offend you?" "Not in the least. It should, I suppose, and were my own history different, it might. However, I did not have the usual priesthood, and so I simply see it as the way the one God has chosen to speak to you. I doubt you could harbor much belief in the god of my church. It's likely done you little good and great harm. However, a goddess that was taught you by what little loving family you had? Aye, you could give your soul for that. We all need God, child, but we must all come to him the best way we know. I have seen you trust, act in faith, willingly change your heart and your actions, overcome doubts and fears, all at the urging of Danally. Your faith is real, your belief sincere and your prayers are answered. It is not my place to say more. But no, you do not offend me." Alex was relieved. Turning to his food, he ate the greens first. It wasn't a bad taste, but strong, and he didn't care for it. Quickly eating the entire portion, he took a deep drink of the ale, and then hesitantly approached the stuffing. This he liked, and a sample of the potato followed. "It's sweet!" Alex was surprised. It was very sweet and buttery, delicious. "Is this the dessert?" "No, that's a vegetable. I think we have baked apples and cream for dessert." "It is very good, for a vegetable." Alex always ate a portion of everything, Fitz had taught him that this was a rule, to keep one healthy, but he didn't care for most vegetables. "You truly have a tooth for sugar, Jade. Still, I will tell Leona she has found a vegetable that our Jade actually likes, she will be delighted." Alex grinned, knowing it was true. Fitz took another bite, then his face settled into thoughtful lines, and Alex knew it was time. "I must go back quite a ways, Jade, for you to really understand my story. I was literally found under the bushes at the abbey of St. John. The brothers took me in, as it was winter, and travel unsafe. I was nearly frozen when then they found me, despite the thick blankets I'd been wrapped in, and they weren't sure that I would live through the night. They felt I could not have been more than a few hours old, though they saw no sign nor track of anyone about. They had a cow, but I refused the milk, and so the goat obliged. This I took, and the brothers watched and fed, making a false teat from thin cloth and a small bladder. Fortunately, one of the monks had been a family man, and remembered seeing his wife do the same for one of their babes, when her milk failed. He knew to heat it, adding just a bit of sugar and water. His name was Brother Jacob Fitzgerald, and it is his name I use today." There was a look of deep sorrow on the face, and Alex knew that Fitz had loved this man, loved him deeply. "All the monks took their turn raising me, but Brother Fitzgerald became my father. He was the one they sent for, when nothing else would stop my crying. Mind you, they had all taken a vow of silence, I was being raised without words, without anything spoken save the chants and hymns, the readings and responses. It wasn't his voice that soothed me, it was his presence. They only meant for me to stay the winter, and planned to take me to a nearby convent come spring. By then, I'd been there nearly four months, and my care given almost exclusively to Brother Fitzgerald. They had made me a small bed, and I slept in his room. He strapped me to his chest and went about his duties, or to his back, when he did the floors. "When spring came, the head of the abbey came to Brother Fitzgerald. He said that, in light of my unusual circumstances and my obvious pleasure at being in the house of the lord, I must be meant for this life. Therefore, he saw no reason for me to go anywhere else, until I came of an age to choose. In addition, Brother Fitzgerald was released from his vow of silence, in order that he might teach me and raise me properly. It was lifted for me only, though, he was still to maintain his silence to all others. And, in accordance with the spirit of all this, he was given leave to claim sole guardianship. That pleased him most, for it meant he could have some say in what would become of me." Fitz paused, pointing with a fork at the plate across from him. "You are an excellent audience, Jade, but do not forget to eat." There was humor in the reminder, and Alex blushed, knowing he'd been staring, lost the way he got with the master's stories. He took a bite of the pork and the stuffing, and Fitz continued. "So, I grew up in the abbey, learning everything the monks could teach me. It was discovered that I had a penchant for healing, and so they made the herborium available to me, and all their texts. I was reading from age three, it was natural for me. By the time I was twelve, I knew all they knew. Let me say this without humility, and then explain. Jade, we all have our gifts. You have yours, as I learned painfully." A wink turned this into a friendly tease. "The master has his, for which we are all thankful, and so on. My gift is healing, but not simply healing. I am very bright, Jade, very bright. I have a gift for storing and absorbing knowledge. It isn't like the master, the ability to remember what's been read, or your hearing. It's not that specific, nor that clear. But it's more widespread. If I've seen it or heard it or tasted it or any of that, then the core of that remains with me. The knowledge of it is mine forever. And I was blessed with a great tragedy, that has made the most of my gifts. Let me continue." Fitz took another drink, a deep breath. "As I said, by age twelve, I knew all they had to teach me. I'd been through their library, through every scroll. I could tend the sick as well as they could; better, for I could remember reading of a treatment, of seeing the villagers use this plant or that. I went everywhere with Brother Fitzgerald, and helped every way I could. They had given me the name of John, for the abbey, but the villagers referred to me as John Fitzgerald, Brother Fitzgerald's boy. They knew, of course, that I was not his real son, but it was no matter to them. To me either. And now as I grew older, he proved his love was a father's love. He prepared to send me away." Alex didn't understand this, unless Fitz meant that fathers don't love for very long. Seeing the confusion, Fitz paused. "My apologies, Jade. I mean only that he loved me more than himself, that he put my wants and needs ahead of his own heart's desires. That is what a father does, Jade, a good father. It has been said that our Master is the father of all here, and I would say that is true. He does the best for us, at risk to himself and cost of his own soul. That is how a father is supposed to love, Jade, though few enough do." "Earlic does. Thomas says he was a little disappointed, but he understood and he's proud now that Thomas is going to University. Is that what you mean? Letting Thomas go and be what he must, rather than what Earlic would have him be, and still be proud?" "Exactly. Brother Fitzgerald knew that I had already gained all I could from the abbey and the village. He knew I was bright, and he wanted to foster that. I had much growing to do still, and he didn't want those years wasted. With permission, he contacted a family member that lived across the channel, and asked would they shelter me and see to my instruction. They agreed, and we set sail a few weeks before my thirteenth birthday. He would sail with me there, and then return a few days later. We never made it there. Once in the middle of the channel, the ship suddenly began heading for open sea. The ship was being stolen, and us with her. The crew, just a few men for a small vessel, had already been dispatched, and now with none to help us, we were at their mercy. "There was a lady on board. She was young and lovely, no more than five years my senior, with long dark blonde hair. I feared for what would happen to her, having served the village enough to know of such things. She was unmolested, however. It seemed she was the reason we were being stolen. Her father had made the mistake of refusing an offer for her hand. The rejected suitor was a vindictive sort, and hearing that she was to be sailing alone to visit relatives, arranged for her to be sold to the East. Brother Fitzgerald and I had been given consent at the last moment to sail along, the captain, rest his soul, being a godly man and promising us free voyage, did no one else want to sail besides the lady. We were thus not listed on the manifest, and not expected. "Eat, Jade, or I'll not tell the rest until your plate's cleared." It took a moment for the gentle scold to penetrate, but then Alex turned his attention back to his food, apologizing. He knew that Fitz wasn't angry, only determined that he not miss a meal. He'd heard Fitz say the same thing almost to the master, once taking a book from the man's hand and telling him sternly he couldn't have it back until he'd eaten. They had the only master in the world that would allow such, and Alex had watched in amusement as Fox had sullenly finished his soup and then held out his hand for his book. Once it was in his hand, Fitz had turned, leaning over the desk. With a sigh that Alex had finally identified as a sound of regret, the master had landed a hard blow with the book to Fitz's rear. "I apologize for my tone and manner of speech, Master. I should have ensured we were alone, and found a better way to ask you. I'm aware what could have happened, had I been overheard." "I'm sorry, Fitz." "I am not. I will tell Leona you ate the entire bowl, and she will be so pleased with me, she will boil my elixirs for me." Mischief had sparkled in Fitz's eyes, and Fox had laughed, even as he hugged the man, sending him to the kitchens with the empty bowl. Alex brought himself back to the present, having eaten a good half of his meal, and looked up imploringly at Fitz. "Oh, dear. Those eyes are going to be trouble yet. I can see I'll need to be on guard around you, Jade, lest I give you everything you want." Alex chuckled into his ale, and Fitz resumed his story, reassured the boy was alright from the scold. "As I said, we were unexpected, but the pirates knew Brother Fitzgerald was a priest, and apparently superstition ensured that he remained unharmed, too. That left me. I was a strong healthy boy, and they apparently had no taboos against me. Brother Fitzgerald took one look at the lust on their faces, and used his waist belt to tie me to his side. He'd been praying loud and for effect the whole time, waving the cross and using every gesture he could think of, until he had me secured. Then he slid his eating knife into his hand, and made it clear that the only way they would get me, was through him. The lady, having seen this and knowing that they wouldn't touch her for fear of her new owner, stepped up, coming to stand in front of both of us. She made it clear she would cry foul treatment and injure herself, blaming it on any man that touched us." Fitz's eyes sparkled as he told this, face alive with remembered awe and gratitude. A tender smile graced his features, and Alex knew that Fitz had also loved this woman, priest or not. "I'd never seen anything so brave. I knew Brother Fitzgerald would give his life for me, I had expected no less. But can you imagine it, Jade? Here she was, alone, a gentlewoman, raised her whole life with care, and she's suddenly being stolen away from her home and family. She knew where she was going and what would happen to her once there, but she ignored her own terror and sorrow to protect a priest and a boy she'd never met, knowing they could do nothing for her. She was beautiful, her skirts billowing back around us with the wind, her hair streaming, eyes sparkling with fury and despair." "You fell in love." Alex whispered it, but the topic was somewhat on his mind, and he was too curious not to ask. "Aye. I fell in love with her, right then and there. I'd never really known a woman, being raised in the abbey. The village women were part of the flock, nothing more. This lady was suddenly real to me, and I lost my heart." Fitz gave a small sad smile and then seemed to shake himself. "We sailed for many days, and the lady didn't let us out of her sight. We protected each other. Brother Fitzgerald would sleep while she watched, and then he would watch for her. She would only sleep if I was curled up behind her, and if I spent more time staring at her sleeping form than sleeping myself, my adoptive father made no comment. He was too grateful. He would tell me, where she could hear, still bound to his vow, how grateful he was to her. It was cheating, but he assured me the Lord would understand, given the circumstances." Fitz paused to pull the dessert from the basket. Plump apple slices, soaked in brandy and baked with spices and butter, dollops of cold cream topping the crumb coating. It was delicious, and both men took a few bites, before Fitz continued. "The voyage passed well enough, despite the length. None of us were sick, thankfully, though Brother Fitzgerald had his healer's bags with him. The lady was the only one fed, until they saw she was determined to share her portion with us, at which time we were grudgingly given meals as well. There was no privacy, not for anything, and so Brother Fitzgerald would shield the lady as best he could with his robes, while she tended her business, made what bath she could, and dressed from her meager supply. It had to have been humiliating for her, and the crew took every opportunity to tell her what awaited her, but not a word of complaint did she offer. "When I fashioned her a flower from some scraps of vellum, thinking to give her comfort, she smiled at me, embracing me in a way she never would have, just a few days past. I could smell her perfume, became nearly drunk on it. I memorized that scent. I later learned to make it, figured out which flowers and spices combined to create her perfume." Fitz paused, eyes full, and reached behind him to a shelf with his oils. His hand found an older bottle, smaller than the rest. He uncapped it and closed his eyes as scent drifted up and out. Fitz held the bottle out to Alex, and a curious sniff brought the lovely fragrance to him. It was light, but real somehow, spicy but floral, an intriguing mix. "What is your impression, Jade?" "It smells warm, like the noon sun, but from a shade tree. And a breeze blows." Alex blushed a bit, but that was what it reminded him of, and if he'd learned anything, it was to answer true. He wasn't sure how Fitz would react but, to his relief, the man beamed at him. "Very good, my friend. Very good, indeed." Fitz corked the small vial, kissed it and set it back on the shelf, though he didn't return to his food. Pushing the rest of his dessert toward the younger man, Fitz resumed his tale. "When we arrived, we were led from the boat to a place unlike any I'd ever seen. I had read of such places, of course, studied them in books, but nothing prepared me for the sight. People, their features and skin all different, their dress unusual, the language a babble around me. The earth was different, the animals even, the grass beneath our feet, none of it familiar. But more startling than anything was the wealth." Fitz pulled his watch, checking the time. He showed it to Alex, who made a gesture that clearly stated he should continue talking. "The buildings weren't castles, not like we think of them, but they were palaces. Stones in every color of the rainbow, gems decorating the walls and doors, gold on the ceilings. Silks and satins and tapestries so delicate they looked like spiderwebs. And the smells, Jade, the smells nearly took your breath. Spices and flowers and fruits, all heavy and rich, incense curling in wreathes from every window. It was incredible, and despite my fear, I couldn't help but marvel. We were led into a very large room, empty save for some huge pillows and a low couch where a throne would be. On it was a man in his mid-thirties, surrounded by servants, all kneeling low along the walls." Fitz paused, taking a drink, and Alex saw the struggle in his eyes, the pain from this part of the story. Gently placing his hand over the healer's, Alex said softly, "You need not finish. I would not cause you pain." Fitz gave him a sad smile, and used his other hand to pat Alex's, giving it a squeeze before releasing it. "You cause no pain, Jade. I am grateful, in fact, for it is not often I can justify sitting in my quarters, simply remembering. I will finish, with your consent, though you may miss part of the reading." "Gladly, to hear your tale, and to help you. I will listen for as long as you talk, Fitz." The healer's pale eyes grew warm, and he sighed. "Thank you." A deep breath, a slight clearing of the throat, and Fitz continued. "The man's name I still do not know. Everyone simply referred to him as High Lord. He was our new master. The High Lord said nothing for many minutes, simply lay on his couch and watched us, his eyes missing no detail. The woman had shocked the servants by remaining standing, back straight, head up, returning the stare equally. Brother Fitzgerald, having the comfort of the Lord, also showed no fear. That left me, and though I was afraid, I stood between them, and could do no less than follow their example. It was quite the scene, the three of us standing, staring straight ahead, waiting, and the High Lord reclining, equally patient. "At last, a low sound of laughter reached us, and he spoke, in our language. He turned his attention to us, Brother Fitzgerald and myself first, asking who and what we were. I had to speak for us, of course, the vow of silence. Clearing my throat, I said the first thing that came to mind. I told him that this was Brother Jacob Fitzgerald, a priest, and my father." Fitz's eyes misted over, and his mouth twitched. "I'd never called him such out loud, never dared. But I was too scared and needed him to know how I really felt, in case...well, in case the chance was lost. I felt the hand on my shoulder tighten for a moment, and a sound like a sob, but I was smart enough to only put my hand back, over his, and say nothing more. "The High Lord told me that he had no use for a priest. I replied that we were also healers, both of us skilled in medicines and surgeries, that we would doubtless have techniques new to his people. When he asked why we should be trusted to tend his sick, I got angry. I told him flatly that my father would never do anything but his best for anyone, that he was a man of honor and took his vows very seriously, and as his son, I was bound by his honor as well. "The High Lord said nothing more, only nodded, before turning his attention to the lady. He stood, moving to tower over her. She was a small thing, but she continued to meet his gaze with dignity and courage. He reached out a hand for her face, and she allowed it, being brave, but no fool. She had given confession to Brother Fitzgerald when we sighted land, and we all knew her plan. She would give what she could, take what she must, in hopes of one day returning home. So, I wasn't surprised when she stoically allowed the caress. His hand tangled in her hair, tightening painfully, but she made no sound, despite the tears I could see welling in her eyes." Fitz paused, eyes closed for moment. "The High Lord was impressed. It seems he'd been surrounded all his life by women trained to accept his will, but never had he been with one that openly despised the act. He released her hair, telling her she was a worthy addition to his household. He told her she would be a welcome challenge. She made no response, and he turned back to me, with a smile. He moved to stroke my hair, as he had done hers, only to find his way suddenly blocked by both Brother Fitzgerald and the lady. He'd not expected this, never dreamt there would be resistance over such a specimen as I. He was angry, at first. Then he grinned, a hard evil grin that made my blood curl." Fitz gave a sigh, refilling his glass. Alex chewed his bottom lip, suddenly aware of how much Fitz had drunk. The man wasn't inebriated yet, but would be soon, did he not slow down. "Would you like me to water that for you, Fitz?" "No, I would not. I am going to get drunk, Jade. I am going to finish this story, and write a full explanation to the master. You will take it to him when you take the supper dishes down, please. I will then go to my room and become very drunk, with the master's consent. And he will give consent, Jade, for I do this maybe once a year. I have leave, so long as I explain ahead, that I will be in my room, abandoning myself to the wine. I am breaking no rule, Jade, though I thank you for the thought." Alex nodded, understanding for the most part. He trusted Fitz; if the man said it was allowed, then it was allowed. Still, he felt the pain of Fitz's story much more, knowing now that it drove the man, this man, to drink. "The High Lord looked at me and said that he would see what use could be made of my abilities to heal. But in the meantime, he wanted me trained, along with the lady, in the language and customs. All the customs, including the bedroom acts. I would not be touched, he assured me, neither would she, until all the lessons were complete. We would learn together, she and I, and any failure on either of our parts would result in my punishment. I was to be her whipping boy." Alex saw the slow flush rise on Fitz's face, saw the humiliation burn there. He felt sorry for the young boy from so long ago. "He'd seen the weakness. He could control both the lady and Brother Fitzgerald through me, the weakest link. The High Lord had his assurances of good behavior from them, for my sake, and my good behavior was assured by knowing my presence kept them both safe. It was a neat package, none of us willing to risk the others. Had he separated us, he would have been more successful. And lived longer." Fitz paused to use the chamber pot, while Alex took the dishes and the note down. The master frowned as he read it, but only asked sadly where in the telling Fitz was. When Alex told him, the master nodded and, with a brief touch to Alex's shoulder, gently gave consent and sent Alex back up. In his quarters, Fitz was staring out his window when Alex returned, taking a seat on the pillows by the fire. "We learned. Brother Fitzgerald began healing, and when not with him, I was with the lady in our studies. She tried, but though she was very bright, it was a difficult tongue. The first time she failed to meet expectations, a small flog was brought out. It was made from horse hair, finely strung, with a wooden handle. They gave it to her and pointed to me. When she refused to beat me, they brought out a cat, and one of the guardsmen. Seeing her choice, I stripped off my shirt and knelt in front of her. I'd never called her by name, having too much respect, but now I did, needing her to know it was alright. "'Suzanne, please. Do it, before things worsen.' She knew I was right and moved behind me. She was instructed to give me six lashes, and she was smart enough to know they had to count, or more would follow. I'd never been whipped, not really. Brother Fitzgerald had switched me on occasion, a couple of stripes for serious disobedience only, and those mild. I made no noise but could not help my tears. When the punishment was complete, we were dismissed. She took me to my father at once, explaining tearfully what had happened. He granted her absolution and directed her to the herbs necessary to help my back. It was her hand that bathed me, that spread the ointment, and the touch was nearly worth the beating." Fitz poured another glass and Alex moved closer, drawn by the pain in the man's eyes. "She seldom failed to at least make the minimum responses after that. We soon learned the language. I learned it first and was soon able to speak to those I treated. Our skills as healers were welcomed, and we did have many new skills and thoughts to bring, but we learned as well. The court physicians, seeing the benefit, shared openly with us, and soon I'd learned most of their techniques as well. I knew far more than they thought. While taught to speak the language, the lady and I were not taught to read or write it. But I learned anyway. It took some time, but time I had. I was soon proficient in their written word as well, and learned much in the hope of escape. I was given leave to use the library by the physicians, for it held pictured anatomy books. I read most everything there, a bit at a time, books from the world over. The lessons continued, how to eat, what to eat, their religion, their folktales, we were given it all. I couldn't help but be fascinated with all of it. I loathed my conditions and circumstances, but the learning itself was a delight. The city was a main stop on the trade route, and their culture a mix of most of the world. I was a delight to my tutors, taking it in as quickly as they could give it to me." Fitz was slightly glassy eyed now, and Alex felt his sorrow magnify. Fitz, loving considerate Fitz, as much a caretaker of them all as the master or Leona, was hurting badly. There was also the faint hint of unease. Alex had often been hurt the worst on nights when the wine flowed heavily, and to smell it so strongly on Fitz caused his stomach to clench. But he also knew that Fitz, drunk or not, would not hurt him. It kept the discomfort to just that, and he wasn't afraid. "After many long months, it was time for the last set of lessons. It was time for the lady to learn how to please the High Lord. For both of us to learn it. I - I don't know what I expected. A book, a lesson much like we'd had before. I was innocent, if not ignorant, and when they brought in a pair of slaves, I blushed scarlet at what they intended. Sure enough, our lessons were practical demonstrations. We watched, while the fine points were made and the proper methods carefully shown. We were forced to touch, to examine, and when we proved reluctant, the lady even less used to such things than I, they were angry. They ordered two dozen strokes this time, and I couldn't keep quiet. I could hear her soft sounds of pain behind me, the apology she whispered with every stroke. When it was ended, she had them fetch my father. I was tended, and once healed, they began again." Fitz gave an ironic bark of laughter, and Alex cringed at the sound. "You are looking at the only priest in the land that has been trained as a pleasure fellow for both men and women. And I'm very well trained, Jade. I could put any of the King's gloried whores to shame in minutes. Sworn to celibacy, and I can make a man spill his passion in less time than it takes to piss, or keep a woman in the throes a whole night. It's been years, but they're lessons I've never forgotten. Cannot forget." Fitz poured another cup full, nearly sloshing it. His words were beginning to drag, a faint slur appearing, but he was still aware of what he was saying. "It had been nearly a year, Jade. I was nearing fourteen, and old enough to respond physically to all they showed me, too young to be comfortable with it. It was an agony of shame, every time. To have to touch the naked breasts of a lovely young slave girl, to fondle the hardness of the slave boys, painfully aware of my own, and all while being watched by a tutor, a guard and the lady? It was the only time I was whipped for my own failures as a pupil. I confessed nightly to my father but that, too, brought its own shame, and soon he took to giving me a blanket penance, forestalling my need to confess. The lady as well, to spare us recounting our sins in front of each other. We were given little choice in the matter, and it was simply a matter of nature, not my fault, but my reactions humiliated me." "It was worse, because you loved her." Alex had remained silent for most of the telling, but this slipped out. Fitz nodded, face full of sorrow. "Yes. I loved her, could not help but think of her. I had to watch her as well, Jade, that pale hand trembling slightly as she found a nipple, stroked along buttocks. I wanted to do those things to her, have her hands touch me that way. I was nearly overwhelmed with my struggle, when she came to my father and asked leave to whisper her confession. It was the only way to have privacy, we all shared the same chamber, could not leave once locked in for the night. I moved to the far side of the room, giving them all the space I could. It seemed they spoke for a long time, but I paid no attention. I was working on an escape plan, was nearly finished with it. It would be dangerous, but I thought it had a chance of working." Fitz paused, moving to sit nearer the fire, sinking to the floor somewhat heavily and clumsily. He looked into the flames for a long moment, head propped on his own bent knee. "This is the last part of the tale, Jade. After this, it would be a great kindness to me if you would see me to bed and ensure the candles are blown out before you go." "Of course, Fitz." "Then I will finish, and let blessed dark bring longed for oblivion. As I said, they spoke for a very long time, then I heard Brother Fitzgerald knocking at the door. He waited until the guard appeared, then told me he wanted to check a patient and would be back later. He spoke loudly, still cheating his vows for the sake of need. He was led away, and the lady approached me. She sat down on the low cushions they used for beds, and stunned me by taking my hand. 'John,' she said, the rare gift of my name on her tongue. 'We must speak.' I waited, knowing that whatever it was, would be difficult to both say and hear. She told me that she had noticed my struggle, knew of my feelings for her. I would have died from embarrassment but she forestalled it, saying that she knew because she felt the same as I did. My love for her was returned." A look of radiant joy filled Fitz's face, and Alex thought that it changed the man's whole countenance. But then the light dimmed. "She told me she had spoken to my father, and what she was about to say had his approval, as my father, if not as a priest. She wanted me to make love to her, Jade. It was almost time for her to be sent to the High Lord, the lessons were all but finished. It was a matter of days, at most, before she became his concubine. I wasn't sure I would be sent for, but it was a possibility for me as well. She was a virgin, as was I. She did not want to go to him that way. The idea of giving him that as well, was abhorrent to her; still, she did not want to force me. Did I refuse her, she would steal one of the false phalluses from our lessons, and rend her own maidenhead. She would bear me no ill will either way, it was entirely my decision, but she knew her heart. And her heart yearned for me. "It was the happiest moment of my life, Jade. To call her name, to touch her, to feel her respond to me. When she lay herself under me, speaking my name and holding closely to me, as though I were a man full grown and not simply a scared shaking boy, awkward despite his lessons, I knew true happiness, knew a completion in my soul that not even the church had ever touched. We exchanged our innocence, forgoing any tricks, save those to ensure she felt no pain at the entering. We made love, earnestly, sincerely, pledging our hearts and souls with our bodies. To be able to say the words, Jade, to tell her all my longings and many thoughts of her, this was such a gift. To hear her own shy tale of falling in love with me, that was even more precious. A few hours we had, and then I heard Brother Fitzgerald, singing his chants on the way back. It was a warning, of course, and we heeded it. A last kiss, and we quickly dressed again, though she returned to my side when finished, and took my hand. "My father eased my worries at once, saying softly that he wished he could have married us first, but that God knew what lay in a man's heart, and a woman's as well. A smile, and he took the lady's usual bed, making it plain he expected us to share the night. We only slept, it was late and we were tired, but we were together, holding through the whole night. Before dawn, Brother Fitzgerald awakened us, pointing to her bed. She understood and moved back before the guards came. They took us to lessons, as usual, but the day passed in a warm glow for me. Every smile had new meaning, and when she whispered my name, I was in heaven. "We fell to earth soon enough. That afternoon, the High Lord himself roared into the room, angrier than I had ever seen him in our daily audiences. He had clutched in one hand a wad of cloth, and he was so angry it was several moments before I understood what he was saying. It was the sheet. While there had been no pain when I took her, there had been blood, and in our joy, we had forgotten. The servants had recognized it for what it was, mixed with my own traces, and had told. He was furious with both of us. He had the guards with him, and while one moved to restrain the lady, two more held me to a wall. The High Lord, ignoring my lady's pleas and cries, ripped off my shirt, and then took his knife out. He carved his initials first, to remind me that she was his property, and not to be stolen. It was only then that he plunged the knife in, trying to literally cut me in half. But, in his rage, he'd grabbed the first knife to hand, and it was too short, an ornamental dagger, though sharp enough. It spared my life, but I passed out. I know the rest only as a second hand tale, told me by others, later. "It seems that one of the healers, an extremely kind and gentle man, a priest of sorts in his own religion and much like my father, had heard the talk of what was happening. He'd immediately sent for his new friend and fellow man of god, and so Brother Fitzgerald had come inside as I passed out. Brother Fitzgerald took one look at me and apparently went berserk, thinking I'd been killed. He was an older man, but very strong, and had been a soldier before becoming a priest. I was told he killed the guards first, simply slitting their throats almost before the enraged High Lord realized something was happening. He then killed the High Lord. "There was only a matter of minutes before more guards came, and my father, finding me still alive, took the only action available to him. He turned me over to the other priest, begging the man to use my plan and get me out of there. My father asked it in the name of God, and the native priest could not refuse. Suzanne, the lady, knew every detail of my plan, and she led them through the false door I had discovered on a map in one of my many forays to the library. It wound down through the depths of the earth, coming out finally by a small cove in the bay. I had already arranged a boat and supplies there, on our trips to the port for healing goods. In a year, if one is a good healer, one can build many favors, Jade. I had used them all in arranging my plan, and had it been night and the dark of the moon, as I had planned, it might have worked. As it was, it was mid-afternoon and rushed, an army of guards looking for us already, as I lay bleeding across my father's shoulders. In desperation, he begged the lady and the old priest to go, to take me, while he provided the distraction and time necessary to ensure even a faint hope of survival. "She agreed, knowing it was my only chance. They pushed off, with me nearly dead in the bottom of the boat. The old priest began tending me at once, as best he could, while the lady tried her best to follow the route laid out on the plan, but she had no skills with such things, and not the strength to row hard against the current. By nightfall, they were only half as far as they should have been, and the weather was turning. She made a decision, brave and selfless, as they all had been. Putting in to shore, she sold some of her jewels and bought passage for the old priest and myself on the first ship sailing. Luck smiled, I suppose, for there was a ship casting in less than an hour. She saw us settled aboard, and then prepared to leave. She would remain behind, allow herself to be captured, and give us time to escape. "I woke then, rousing just enough to see her, to ask what had happened. She came to me, telling me that she loved me, begging me to live, and pressing something into my hand. A kiss, and she was gone. In my hand was the vellum flower I had fashioned for her so long ago. I tried to rise and blacked out again. When I came to, the old priest told me we had been at sea some four days, and that I would live, but it would take a long time before I would be normal. I was in and out of consciousness for several more days, the pain of so many slashed muscles taking its toll. "We arrived at another large port-town two months later. By then, I could sit up and even manage a brief walk. It had been a struggle, and fever had nearly claimed me twice, but I was young, and the healer excellent. I recovered. We took another ship, only to run aground on a small island, due to a storm. It was some four months since the incident, and the only thing keeping me from going back to the High Lord's palace, was the old priest. He was alone, helpless now as I had been that first voyage in. He'd lived his entire life in the palace and surrounding village, knew nothing of where we were, the language slightly different, the culture very different. He needed me, and I owed him the debt of my father. It was a debt I had to repay, knowing in my heart that my father was now dead. "The island welcomed us, despite our strangeness, and again I learned all I could, trading our skills as healers for life. It was peaceful, a kind place, and we were there for a half-year, while the ship made repairs and waited out the season. We again set sail, and while I longed to return and search for Suzanne, I obeyed the old priest, and we reached a port farther east than either of us had any knowledge of. Upon arrival, while arranging our lodging at an inn, there was a mishap and a young man managed to nearly slice his thumb off. By instinct, the priest and I began tending him, and he was soon resting quietly, wound tended. We thought nothing of it, brushing aside his thanks. We settled into our rooms, and went to bed early, tired from the voyage. The priest was even more exhausted, and I worried over him. He'd been pale, weak lately, for no illness I could find. Now, as I fussed over him, he smiled at me. "He told me I was good, as my father had been. He then told me that I was soon to be alone again. He was dying, could feel it within himself, age and our traveling having caught up with him. There was nothing for it, and he was ready. I asked if there were any special arrangements he wanted, and he asked only that I say a special prayer, which I would find in his prayer book, already marked. I agreed, and with thanks for all he had done. He patted my head and went to sleep. He never awakened. The next morning, he was dead." Fitz poured a last cup, though his slurring was more pronounced now. He drained it, then threw it against the wall. "I saw him buried, his prayer said. And then I sought passage back. I had to try and find her, had to know if she was alive. But there were no ships sailing back. It seemed that at this time of year, the ships would only sail farther east, never west. I was desperate, I had to get back. The young man whose thumb I had tended, came to me. His father was going to be taking a caravan back westward. He would arrange for me to travel with them, in gratitude. I wept, I was so relieved, and gratefully accepted. We left a week later, the wagons loaded. It would take us nearly a year to get all the way back, but there was no choice. Three months into our journey, we were attacked by marauders. The only reason I was spared, was because they had seen the initials on my back, had recognized the High Lord's name. They assumed I was his slave and let me live, apparently not knowing yet that he was dead. I was collared and chained, along with the few others spared, and we continued. It was hard, and I do not care to share that tale, beyond saying I followed the lady's example, taking what I must in order to live. I used every trick the bedmaster ever taught me, and then more, to remain valuable and alive. "At last, we arrived back where Suzanne had left me. There was no word, no trace, nothing save the tale that a 'yellow hair' had been taken on board a ship, fighting her captors with every step. No one knew where the ship had gone, or where she was. Not that it mattered. I was a slave now. My captors knew the High Lord was dead, and they knew who and what I was. I was sold at the next market, advertised as a healer and the highest level bed slave. I had four owners before Frokey bought me for the master, knowing Samstar Fields was in need of a healer. It was the only time I was bought for my healing skills. I was bought and sold again fairly quickly before. There isn't much use in a pleasure slave that can't achieve an erection. I could be used, but my obvious lack of interest displeased my owners and they sold me again quickly enough. I was fortunate, none of them were cruel, or punished me for my lack. They simply sold me again. Still, my last master was very nice. He kept me on as a companion for some time, having a common love for learning. He was fascinated by my tales, my experiences, and we often spent entire nights talking, sharing knowledge, if not passion. He didn't sell me, but rather he died, and his wife sold me to Frokey, saying I was too ugly for her bed, and she had no need of talk. The master offered to return me to the church, but I cannot. I have given my soul to Suzanne, it would be wrong to take the final vows." There was bitterness in the voice, and Fitz was nearly weeping. "And now, now it has been sixteen years since I saw her. I continue to search, as does the master and Frokey and Lang. I remain a slave, that I may travel unnoticed, ask questions without arousing suspicion. The master's letter gets me in most places, and none think it odd a former priest is given to nosy questions. I heard she was back in this country, but it is only a rumor, and some three years old now. I do not give up, will never give up, and I have a good life while I wait, but I do wait, Jade. And I grow weary with it, weary unto the depths of my soul. And that is my tale, little one, and having told it, I had best end my shameful condition, and sleep. Help me, Jade?" The eyes looked up, beseeching, tears spilling uncontrolled down the lean face, catching in the dark beard with its hint of grey. Alex wiped at his own eyes and tenderly reached for his friend. Finding the bedroom, Alex walked Fitz to it, seating him while a night shirt was found. The chamber pot was used, with assistance, the clothing changed, the face washed. Alex settled the man in, tucking him snugly, the way Sable had tucked him that night. After blowing out the candles and banking the fire, Alex returned, expecting to see Fitz asleep. Instead, the pale eyes were staring at the ceiling, and the hands were fists on the covers. "I'm lonely, Jade. I've been lonely for so long now, and yet no other can fill that void. I nearly tried, several years ago, thinking to at least have the comfort of a warm body, the human need for touch too strong to be ignored. But how could I? I consider myself wed, Jade, married in the eyes of God, if not man. I could not give another my sex, my heart and body would not be in it, and none would start a relationship knowing those things. It would be unfair to even ask. Still, there are times, when the night is long and cold, that I yearn to not be alone." Alex looked down at Fitz for a long moment, his own painful past and fears struggling with his new friendship, his platonic love for this very gentle soul that had suffered in so many ways. Slowly, with a deep breath, Alex removed his shirt, then his shoes and leggings. "Jade? What..." "Hush, my friend. You've spoken enough for one night. Let me, Fitz. Please? I cannot give much, but I give it with an open heart. Take it?" Alex didn't wait for an answer, merely walked to the other side of the bed, and slid under the covers. Once there, he opened his arms, and with a choked sob, Fitz gave in. With his head buried between Alex's neck and shoulder, and Alex's arms around him, warm and strong, Fitz cried for a long time. When he at last calmed, he shifted to lie with his head on Alex's chest, the heartbeat soothing him with its strong rhythm. "Thank you, Jade. The Captain named you well." "Shhh. Welcome, Fitz. Sleep now." A nod, and soon the breathing was soft and even. Alex lay in the dark and thought of all he'd been told, all the man had gone through. He stroked a hand up and down the slender back, never having noticed the frailty of Fitz before. The healer had always seemed large to him, but now Alex saw that this was an illusion only, brought on by the life that poured out of the man, the genuine love and compassion for all things and beings. Alex sent a silent prayer to Danally, asking her help in finding the Lady Suzanne, did she live. He would add his faith to Fitz's, and see what good could be wrought. It was odd to be lying in bed next to someone, and Alex knew he should be frightened, but he wasn't. It was sort of nice, aside from the strong scent of wine. He wondered what it would be like to hold Sable this way. That caused a pleasant tingle, and with another prayer of thanks to Danally, Alex drifted off to sleep as well. When he opened his eyes, it was to see Leona arranging some things on a tray. He wondered at what she would think of him, in bed with Fitz though they had only slept, and risked a glance at her face. It was met with a warm smile, and she put a finger to her lips, indicating he should remain quiet. He watched as she filled a glass with water, added it to the tray that now sat by the bed, and with a carefully mouthed "thank you" to Alex, was gone. Alex knew he would be late to begin his work, but felt sure it would be excused, the master knowing where he'd been the night before, and Leona having seen him now. He was wondering whether he should leave before Fitz woke up, but couldn't help feeling that would be wrong, somehow. As he debated, he felt a weight settle lightly on the bed at his feet. A glance showed him Danally, and Alex bowed to her as best he could. Her eyes looked meaningfully at Fitz, and Alex mentally sent his prayers to her. 'Please, Goddess, help him if you can. He believes, Goddess, not the way I do, true, but he does believe in my belief. Grant him an intercession, if you may. He is worthy, Goddess. Please?' Danally kept her eyes focused on Fitz for a long time, then closed them tightly, before she delicately made her way up the bed, sitting near Fitz's head. She laid a paw ever so lightly on his head, letting it linger for a bit. 'Thank you, Goddess.' Danally nodded, then walked over to sit on Alex's chest, the side not occupied by Fitz, and settled down, the low thrum of her purrs soothing him. After a few moments Fitz stirred, awareness coming to him with painful slowness. After a time, a groggy thick voice rasped out, "Why do I hear a cat purring?" "Because the goddess has favored us with her presence." The sound of Alex's voice brought Fitz's eyes, bloodshot and heavy-lidded, creaking open to look at him. "Jade? You are in my bed?" "You did not wish to be alone. I will go, if you have changed your mind." "No, no. It's not that, Jade. To be honest, I thought you a dream. I woke warm and comforted. That never happens after a telling. I heard your heartbeat, felt the blessing of your solid presence, and told myself it was an imagining brought on by all the wine. Then there was a cat purring, and I knew I was dreaming still." Alex grinned, seeing that despite the night before, Fitz was his usual self now, the humor, the wit, the warm honesty, all back in place. "You're awake. I am in bed beside you, Danally on my chest, as are you. And I will tell you a truth back, Fitz. You wear well." It was shyly whispered, and Alex blushed when he said it, but he did find it pleasant, had enjoyed the unique situation, and needed Fitz to know that. "I did not frighten you, then. I had worried, how the morning would find you. I am glad, for both of us, Jade. It was a blessing, and I thank you for it, my friend." "Welcome, friend." A soft smile, and Alex, careful not to disturb Danally, tilted his head to place a brief kiss on Fitz's forehead. It was received as the affectionate token and absolution it was, before Fitz began easing himself to lie on his back. He groaned, a hand coming to cover his eyes. "Leona left a tray by your bed." "I am surrounded by saints." Fitz rose unsteadily, mixed three of the powders from the tray and emptied them into the water. He then drank it deeply, and lay back on the bed. "The medicine will end the pain and nausea in a matter of minutes, though I will be tired most of the day. I suppose I should be a better Christian and accept my penance, but the good Lord did not create us to be fools..." Alex chuckled, but stopped when Danally cracked an irritated glare at him. With a whispered apology, Alex lay still again. "So, what brings Danally to my bed? Does she come with bedding you, you'd best warn Sable sooner than later." Alex blushed again, this time strongly, and Fitz chuckled weakly, groaning as he did so. "My apologies, Jade, I meant only to tease gently." "You did. I'm not blushing because of what you said, but...well, holding you, sleeping beside you made me think of sharing a bed with Sable, really picture it for the first time. That is why I blush, your words reminded me of that." "If you are frightened, you need not be. Sable would never do anything to knowingly make you uncomfortable, you know that, Jade?" "I do. It's not that I'm frightened, more that I'm not." "Ah, you look forward to sharing his bed?" Alex knew he didn't have to answer, but it was good to speak with someone besides Thomas of this. "Yes. I think I do, anyway. I've never been intimate with anyone, not of my own will. And I know Sable will not force me, or hurt me. I just don't know what to expect." "Expect to be loved, little Jade. To be cherished and adored. Expect him to want you, and need you, and delight in you." The words were a small shock, and Fitz turned to his side, looking intently at Alex. "I have said too much. Jade, you know my story now, you know my training. Do you have any questions, any worries, do not hesitate to come to me, to ask. It will not bring up last night again, I assure you. I will answer as the healer I am, making use of all my knowledge. Anything you wish to know, Jade, you may ask without shame or fear." "Thank you, Fitz. It means much." "You are welcome, but now I would ask again. Why is Danally here? The cat has not visited my quarters the entire time I've lived here." "I said a prayer to her last night, for you. And this morning, as well. I asked her to intercede for you." Fitz gave Alex a deep look of gratitude. "You are a good man, Jade, and I am thankful to know you, and count you a friend. And as for you, Mistress Danally..." The cat met Fitz's gaze neutrally. "I cannot call you 'goddess,' but will not say you are not. You are his goddess, and any help you grant, I will be appropriately thankful for." It seemed to satisfy the cat, and with a yawn and stretch, she hopped down, leaving in her usual leisurely fashion. When she'd gone, Alex stretched as well and stood, dressing quickly. "I must go. While Leona knows where I am and will not mind, I should get to work. There is much to be done today." "Oh yes, the preserving begins this afternoon. Are you doing the fruits first this year?" "No, Leona said she would save those, as she's expecting another late berry run in a few days. One of the men found a large stand of bushes while hunting." "That is good, extra is always a blessing." Fitz had dressed as well, and now the men faced each other, preparing to go their own ways. "Thank you again, Jade. Go in peace, my friend." "Welcome, Fitz. Abide in peace, my friend." A slightly awkward hug, and Alex was on his way, hurrying to the kitchens. He found Leona by her desk, and she graced him with a smile again. "If you would, find Marita outside and see what help she needs preparing the vegetables. She has the task list." "Yes, Leona." He moved to go but was stopped by a light hand on his arm. "Have some breakfast first, Jade. No skipped meals, sweet, no matter how good the cause. There's a plate on the mantle, milk by the sink." "Yes, ma'am." Leona nodded him on, and he quickly ate, then joined Marita. She was struggling to lift one of the heavy pots, and Alex took it from her, easily setting it inside the largest cauldron, already half-filled with water. "You should have asked for help with that, Marita." It was only after he said it, that Alex realized it was a reprimand, the first he'd ever dared give anyone. Marita only nodded. "I know, but you get busy and just think to do it. Besides," and now she flashed a grin at him. "If I were not forced to work alone by my partner's absence, I would have had help." Alex knew she wasn't mad, and so grinned back. "You've never even been late before, Jade, we were worried you were ill, but Leona explained you were helping Fitz early this morn." It wasn't a lie, but Alex was grateful for the careful explanation Leona had provided him. "So, how do we begin?" "By cooking the vegetables, before they go into the sealed crocks and jars. We'll start with the beans." It was a tedious process, but not overly difficult or physically demanding. By mid-morning, they'd done three types of beans, two of peas, and a batch of carrots. The leftover bits went into a jar with pieces of potato and stock. "Soup base. What we don't use, Leona sends to the village. It is the start of our soup, it will likely be their only meal, Lord bless. Jade, if no one has told you, we sometimes get people from the village. They come seeking food. You've noticed Leona keeps soup on the fires all day, for any that are hungry between the meals, or that need an early or late meal. Do you get a request for food, take a bowl of the soup, one of the apples, two slices of bread and a finger-width of cheese. That is for each person, Jade, and they may eat at the worktables here, does the weather permit, or in the meat shed, if not." The meat shed was sheltered on three sides, and had a roof. There were tables there, grooved, and it was where much of the final meat preparation for mealtime took place. Fowl was jointed there, the chops cut, that sort of thing. "The master feeds any that ask, so you need no consent to fill a plate." "Do you not have trouble with beggars?" "We do not. Fitz makes it plain to the villagers that the master does what he can, but he will help only those that make an effort. If there is true need, an illness or injury that prevents work, that is excepted, as are the very old and the very young. But do we feed the able bodied, we will find them work quickly enough the next time they come asking. Charity demands once without explanation or excuse. After that, they can earn what they need." "That sounds like the master." "Yes. Oh, here, Jade, the time is gone, help me dish the beets." They turned their attention back to the food, setting the wax plugs tight and thick. Marita fussed carefully over them, not relaxing until they were cooled, and showed solid. Pleased, she drew out the list, checking what was next. "Jade, know you the dillweed in the herb garden?" He assured her he did, from her tour, and she sent him to fetch her a small basketful. It took nearly all the mature dill in the garden to fill it, but at last he managed to get enough. She gently rinsed it, then lay it in a cheesecloth square, tying it off with some of the other herbs. "Have one of the girls give you a thumb's width of sugar, please. Your thumb." Alex went inside, finding Meave near the cone. She blushed as he approached, and Alex wondered at it, before making his request. Meave began slicing from the bottom, careful to cut around, not just down. Soon, he had his sugar, and Meave shyly held out another small sliver. "For you." "Thank you. That is sweet of you." "I have heard you like things that are sweet." Meave was scarlet as she said this, and Alex realized the child was attempting to flirt with him. Unsure, he merely thanked her again, and took his leave. "Marita, I have a question..." They spoke the rest of the time they pickled, and when Alex took the large crocks back inside, he was able to meet Meave's gaze without worry, now knowing how to handle an adolescent's crush. Chapter Five Alex woke up early the next day. He didn't move for a long time, simply lay in his warm bed, looking at the sunlight streaming into the window. The banked ashes from his small fire had kept the chill from the room, and he yawned and stretched, then slowly his lips curved into a smile. It was his off day. He would spend the day with Sable, though Alex wasn't quite sure how. All he knew was that, after breakfast, they would be together, and the thought made him very happy, if more than a little nervous. Getting out of bed, Alex hesitated only a second before picking up the specialty scent soap that Fitz had made for him, and heading to bathe. Alex shaved himself carefully, Fitz having patiently taught him how to see to this task many weeks ago. Now, he surveyed the results in the small communal mirror that hung over the toweling. Alex's eyes narrowed critically as he studied his reflection. He'd finally gained enough weight to look healthy, though the hard work ensured he was gaining only muscle. As the comb whispered through his drying hair, Alex was pleased to see that it had nearly recovered, too. It was thick again and soft, the color nearly as strong as it had been before. His hair had always grown quickly, and now it hung below his shoulders, loose waves and random curls. Alex started to tie it back, as usual, then simply gathered a bit from the sides, to keep it away from his face, and tied it off instead, leaving the length free. It would have to do, he supposed, but he looked clean and neat, and that was all Sable or the master ever required. Besides, the man had seen him at his worst, he doubted Sable would suddenly not find him handsome enough. Chuckling at his struggling vanity, Alex finished getting ready and headed downstairs. He passed Thomas on the stairwell and his friend gave a low whistle, making Alex grin. "Now, why would Jade be looking especially handsome today? And smelling oh so sweet? If I'm not mistaken, he's changed his hair as well, hmmm..." Alex gave him a playful slap to the shoulder, a mere brushing of the back of his hand across the muscle, and Thomas gave in, laughing. "Alright, I've played the maiden for him. D-do I look okay? The hair doesn't make it too-" "Jade, relax! You look fine, honestly, and the hair is only nice, not overmuch. And I can assure you, there's not a thing maidenly about you. If I wasn't busy courting half the kitchen girls, I'd give you a tumble myself." It was a tease, nothing more, but Alex appreciated his friend's willingness to reassure him. He showed his appreciation the way Thomas liked best, by teasing him back. "I don't think I'd have you, you're something of a chaser..." "Insults? Well, see if I ever kiss you again." With a haughty look of mock indignation, Thomas flounced away, pausing a few steps down the hall. "Jade?" Alex looked, seeing his friend was now earnest, though still smiling. "You do look fine. Nothing bad will happen, and Sable will watch out for you. Have fun, Jade, please?" "Thank you, Thomas. I do promise to try. I am...unafraid." A last wink, and they went on their way, each man glad to know the other. Downstairs Alex took his place, saying hello to Drell and the others, seeing a knowing grin from more than one of them, but no one teased. Relaxing, Alex looked for Sable, finding the big man sitting in his usual place, to the right of their master. It was the tiniest hint of favoritism, and not even that, as Sable was nominally in charge should the master be gone. Also, as the stablemaster, it was only logical that they should have the most work together, and so none could say ill. But Alex, like everyone else, knew that it was one of the few public ways that their owner would admit Sable was more than just another slave, that the man was special to him. A pang went through Alex at the thought. He knew Sable and the master loved each other, didn't question it for a moment. At the same time, Alex didn't doubt that Sable's attentions to him were honorable and sincere. It should have worried and confused him. It did neither. Alex just assumed that Sable could love both of them, the same way he loved Sable and the master. His pang, as he saw them now, sitting next to each other, speaking with their heads close together, wasn't jealousy but sorrow, that it would go no farther for them. Alex still didn't know why the master refused to love Sable, or let himself be loved by the man, but he knew it was so. Perhaps, if the day went well, he would ask Sable, though he doubted he would get an answer. Something told him this story would be the most painful of all for Sable to reveal, and Alex was reluctant to bring such pain. He came out of his musings to find them both looking at him, eyes full of understanding pain. Alex gave them his best smile of comfort, trying to convey his heart with a glance. It seemed to work, for the master, in an extremely rare gesture, actually lifted Sable's hand and brushed the briefest of kisses across the worn knuckles before nodding to Alex and then turning to the child awaiting his attention. Sable looked in awe, and Alex felt his heart swell that he was the cause for that gifting, knowing what it meant to Sable. The brown eyes reflected a sincere gratitude, and Alex happily turned aside, seeing the master stand with his watch. The minute of silence concluded, and Alex took a portion of the hash being passed. It was made with the remnants of last night's beef, but the potatoes and onions were still firm, and the mushrooms were thick slices in the gravy. There was a simple bowl of chilled berries and pear slices with it, and Alex ate heartily despite his nerves. After he'd cleaned his plate, he turned and saw Sable waiting for him, the big man smiling gently at the sudden soft flush. "Are you ready?" "I think so. Is there anything I need?" "Your cloak, it's cooler than yesterday. Money, if you have some you wish to spend. Nothing else comes to mind." "I'll get my things." "Meet me in the master's study when you have them." Alex thought this odd, and his brow wrinkled, but Sable was called away before he could ask. Alex fetched his cloak and his money, tying it well to his belt. He had been saving the full amount the master allowed, but had made few other purchases, beyond a small tin dish to feed the goddess from when she visited his room, and a crock to store her treats. The bag was fairly heavy, and Alex wondered, as he knocked on the study door, what he would need money for. The master's voice bade him enter, and Alex stepped inside, finding Sable standing beside the desk, the master using a tape to measure around his neck. "Ah, Jade, just have a seat, I'm almost through with Sable." Bewildered, Alex watched as Lord Fox picked up a metal coil, smooth and large, with two holes in the flat tabs at either end. Sable tilted his chin up a bit higher as Fox wrapped the coil around his neck, two fingers underneath checking for fit. A slender lock was threaded through the now overlapping holes and Fox paused, letting go, the lock, though still open, holding the collar together. "Is that alright? Too snug?" Sable turned his head various ways, then shook his head. "It's fine, Master." Satisfied, Fox reached out, picked up a small flat diamond shape made of hammered copper. It had the master's seal on it, and Fox threaded it on the lock as well, then clicked it closed, stepping back to see if it looked right. "Okay. The new shape works better, it lies flat. Good. Jade, stand here, please." Sable had moved aside, and Alex took his place, watching as Fox picked up the tape. He allowed himself to be measured, not speaking until the master was picking a coil. "Master?" There was hurt in the soft word, and Fox put the coil down, looking into the green eyes and seeing them sparkle. "What is it, little one?" "You have said I am to share my confusion, my pain before it turns dark. I-I would not give offense, to you or to Sable, but if I am to obey, then I must say something to you." "Understood, Jade. I will listen with an open heart." "You always do." Alex said it matter-of-factly, and was rewarded by seeing his master smile with pleasure. "I hope so. Now, tell me what troubles you?" "Master, I would not run, I swear it. I know you cannot trust me yet, it is my first day away, so your actions bring me no pain. But, Master, surely you must know Sable would not part himself from you? Please, Master, can't you trust him? Do not hurt him this way." Fox's confusion cleared when the trembling hand touched the collars on the desk. It was Sable that answered though, the voice husky with the emotions the young slave had stirred with his simple words. "He doesn't hurt me, Jade. It's not lack of faith in me that makes him collar me. It's his need to protect me." Alex looked up, seeing on both of their faces that this was the truth. "I don't understand." Fox spoke now, his voice gentle if grieved. "Jade, there is a law that all slaves not on their master's land must wear a collar, identifying the master's name, and showing that person to be a slave. These tags show my consent for you to leave the property, to travel. It shows you have my permission to be where you are, without me around. But more than that, it means you belong to me. You are mine, and not to be trifled with lightly. No one will seek to steal you or harm you, so long as my tag is on your collar. The date is pressed in, this was just hammered today, it is your proof that you are owned and unavailable. Should trouble arise, you are protected. They would bring you here if you were hurt or, as a worst case, should you get into trouble, the village guards would return you here, for me to deal with, rather than punishing you themselves. My mark is well known, Jade, as is my reputation. There has only ever been one slave taken while wearing my mark, and the men that committed that crime suffered much more than the slave girl they sought sport with. I made an example of them, was deliberately cruel so that no one else would dare ever trifle with that which is mine." Fox's voice and face had gone cold and hard, and Sable reached out, lightly squeezing the back of the stiff neck. Fox startled almost, and then his features relaxed, the gentleness returning. He clasped Sable's wrist warmly for just a moment before moving to get a drink from a near table. Fox swallowed deeply, and then returned to stand in front of Alex, picking up the right size coil, and fitting it around the slender neck in a move that was nearly a caress. "So you see, little Jade, this hated and thrice-damned collar that I fasten with my own hands around your neck, is my way of ensuring you are not treated as a slave, but as a person, by people who might otherwise seek to use you in ways of which I do not approve." The master had enunciated the last words very clearly, and that old anger was back on the surface. Nonetheless, his hands were gentle and careful as they fastened the collar around Alex's neck. Once assured of the fit, the master slid a tag on and clicked the lock. He stood back and eyed the collar as he had Sable's. "Good. Now, if there is nothing else?" "One thing, Master." Alex felt his heart pound, but he heard that same heart urge him on. "Yes, Jade?" Alex sank to his knees, bowing low in front of his master, knowing it made the man uncomfortable but needing Lord Fox to know how he felt. "Thank you, Master. For caring enough to be occasionally cruel." The hands, which had reached to stand him up, now paused, and Alex felt one rest on top of his head. "You are welcome, my sweet slave." It was the nearest thing to a genuine endearment Alex had ever gotten from his master, and it sang through him. Standing, he saw that the master had a suspicious tremble to his bottom lip, and before he could stop himself, Alex had reached out, pressing his own mouth to it. He froze, horrified at what he'd dared. He'd closed his eyes, and so he missed the look that passed between Sable and Fox. It would have reassured him much if he had seen it. Instead, he only choked out an apology. "Hush, Jade." The master cut him off, and Alex felt a tear threaten. A warm hand came up, cupping his cheek, the thumb brushing at the wetness clinging to Alex's lashes. "I am not angry. You must not do such again, ever, but I am not angry with you. Still, it is forbidden, and you knew this. I'm sorry, Jade, but I must punish." "Yes, Master." Alex felt as though his heart was breaking. He watched, tears continuing to spill down his cheeks, as the master reached for him. "Moss, please." Sable's voice was low, and pleading. Fox looked at him for a long moment, hesitating, his emotions easily read in the depths of his eyes. Alex saw fear and regret, hope and guilt. "No, Sable. He's just keeping me safe again." Alex, unable to stand the guilt in those hazel eyes, had made the choice for all of them. He unfastened his pants quickly, and leaned across the desk, his modesty spared by the long shirt. "I'm ready, Master." A single spank, hard and hot, and the master was rubbing his back. "Do not forget again, little one." "No, Master." He helped Alex stand, quickly re-tying the loose pants, then pulled the slight form into a tight hug. "If I could allow it, Jade, I would allow it with you, as well as with Sable." It was a hurried confession, made to the top of his head, and then the master bolted from the room. Alex looked at Sable dazedly, and the larger man opened his arms. Alex stepped into the embrace, and both of them held in silence for many moments. "Why? Why can't he love us? Why can't he let us love him?" Alex hadn't meant to ask, but he couldn't hold it back any longer. "It's a very long story, and I need permission to tell much of it. Let me say that he has a very good reason, the best, and leave it at that for now. If he gives me leave, I will tell you the whole story one day." It was good enough, and Alex nodded against the strong chest. "How's your backside?" "Fine. You've swatted me harder in jest. Besides, that's not where being spanked hurts." It was true, Alex barely felt an open hand slap to his rear, but his heart would ache for days after, he knew this. "Good, because we have some riding to do. That is, if you still want to go today. I'll understand if you've changed your mind." Alex eased back, but carefully remained in the embrace. "I haven't changed my mind. Have you?" "No. If anything, I think I want it more." The frank honesty was offered without apology or shame, and Alex allowed himself a tremulous hint of a smile. "Then you shall have it." It might have been a tease, but it sounded more like a promise to both of them, and Alex felt the arms tighten around his waist, for just a moment. "This is very dangerous, isn't it? We play with fire." Alex said it right into Sable's dark brown eyes, and the man nodded. "I am learning I would rather burn than be cold. But I am scared." "As am I. We should take this slowly, Jade, for all our sakes." So saying, Sable motioned toward the door with his head. "Come. I have been waiting a long time for today, I would not lose it completely to heavy thoughts." They left, going down the stairs and detouring past the kitchens. There, Sable picked up a small basket, and Leona fussed over them for a minute, before sending them off with a smile. It lightened their mood, and as they walked to the stables, Sable reached out, taking Alex's hand with a small amused twitch of his mouth. Alex was surprised, professional behavior was always expected. As though reading his mind, Sable squeezed his hand briefly. "We are not on duty. It is permitted, so long as we are discreet, and on our own time." He led Alex into the stables and secured the cloth wrapped basket to a hook on the back of his saddle. Alex would ride Jessopa, the mare was already saddled and ready to go, having snorted a welcome to Alex as they entered. Sable was just about to mount up, when Danally entered the stables. She hopped up on the railing that ran around the doors of the stalls, and walked it easily until she was next to Sable. He eyed her curiously, and she made a very serious "may- row"-ing in his direction, eyes and face set in stern lines. "What?" There was a little belligerence in the tone, and Alex grinned, knowing that Sable truly didn't want to believe the cat was more than a convenient way to be rid of mice. The goddess was in full righteous mode though, so she repeated her feline sound of demand, and cut her eyes toward Alex, then back to Sable. "Jade, do you sincerely worship her, believe her to be a goddess?" The belligerence was gone, and Alex saw that Sable was asking somberly, his jaws twitching slightly, eyes never blinking in the blue gaze of Danally. "Yes, I do." "Very well. Mistress Danally, I assure that my intentions toward Jade, while not completely pure, are both honorable and serious. I will do my best not to hurt him, in any way, and I will attempt to bring him pleasure in every way. For his sake, I will ask your consent. Have I leave to court him?" Sable waited, unable to believe he'd just asked the cat for her approval. But he knew that it would make Jade feel better about them, and that was no little thing. Besides, the young slave was exceptional at accepting the role of Moss in their conjoined lives, a little understanding on his own part would only be fair. So, he lowered his head and eyes and stood calmly, waiting for a reply. The cat looked him over, then looked at Alex and made a sound of inquiry. "Yes, Goddess, I care for him very much." The words made Sable warm all over, before he heard the cat sigh and felt, for the first time, her paw touch his chest. She then leapt down and made her way out of the barn, permission granted. "Jade, if you tell anyone that I did that, I'll have you on mucking duty for a month." "Yes, Sable." Alex laughed, knowing Sable only said it to make himself feel better. "Now, can we please get out of here?" There was almost a whine to the rich voice, and Alex swung himself into the saddle with ease. "Please." They rode out of the yard at a sedate pace, and Sable led them to the road. "Come. It's time you saw the village." It was a lovely ride, the air crisp with the late fall, the leaves a riot of color around them, and the road well maintained. "The village is called Williamsville, it was named that when the old master was born. It's an old settlement, the master's people were the original inhabitants of this land. It's a nice place, the village guard pays the Captain to help them maintain their training and standards. She divides her time between the village and Samstar Fields, it helps strengthen our own position, and the master's control of what happens in the village. The guards are fair, there's no ill treatment, and since the keep gives so much trade to the village, there's almost never trouble. It wasn't always that way, of course." Sable paused, seeming to think for a bit, then gave a weary sigh. "No, there is one more thing to get past, then we can honestly enjoy our day. I would not have you worry needlessly, nor of the wrong thing. The story the master told earlier, that happened less than a year after his father died. The master had sent the girl into town on an errand, and a few of the bar rabble decided that, with the old master dead, the new boy was too young to be much threat. They scared her badly, and one of them raped her, or rather, tried to. He was too drunk to penetrate, but he was trying. The others only pawed at her, banged her around." "What did the master do?" "He went down with the Captain, a few of her men, and some of us. He was cold, cold as the darkest winter ice. I've only ever seen him that cold and hard twice before. It was frightening." Alex reflected on what it would take to frighten Sable, and shuddered at the thought of a sixteen year old boy pulling it off. "He knew who had committed the offense, the girl had known them by name, and now he strode into the bar without hesitation. He pointed to each of the three men, and the Captain and her men quickly escorted them out of the bar. He led them to town, to the very center, and had them stripped naked and secured to the posts in a matter of minutes. He didn't say a word, merely gestured, and watched, never taking his eyes off of them, no emotion on his face. When they were ready, he held out his hand, and the Captain handed him a whip. It was the only time I've ever seen him use one, and I was shocked when he proved quite the expert. He laid on the lashes like a slaver twice his age, striking with such skill, he was able to whip them for a long time before they were in real danger. Once the other two had passed out, he had them cut down and taken away. That left the last man, the one that had tried to rape the girl. He hadn't been whipped as hard as the others, and now we saw why. "The master made a motion, and the man was cut down, turned around and re-tied. He was begging and pleading, but Lord Fox ignored it, just shook out the whip and went back to work, whipping the man's front this time. When the front was well striped, Lord Fox changed it again, for a crop. He whipped the man's organ with it, the organ and the sack, again, very carefully, inflicting god's own pain, but no damage. The man passed out twice, and each time, Lord Fox had him revived, and whipped him again. The third time, Lord Fox let him be. He turned then, looking at the stunned villagers, and spoke for the first time. "'I hold to what is mine. I am jealous and wrathful. If it is mine, it is mine alone. Just as my slaves reflect on me by their behavior, so does your treatment of them tell how you would treat me. Never forget it. I will not.' "He left then, without another word. There hasn't been any real trouble since. Once in a while, a visitor will see one of the slaves, try to take advantage, but they're warned quickly enough. Originally, it was fear that kept us safe. Now, it's respect and care for the master. They know he won't hesitate to act, and act fully, but they also know him to be kind and fair." Sable, glad the last unpleasantness had been dealt with, turned to Alex with a smile. "And now, we may speak of other things, and the first thing I would like to say, is that your hair becomes you, Jade." Alex was a bit embarrassed, but pleased at the sudden change in topic. "Thank you, Sable. I had hoped you would find it so. And now, a question. Why did I need money?" "Well, while it's true that Leona packed us provision, it's also true that they have different things to eat and drink for sale. There's also one place I'd like to show you, where you might have the urge to spend your coin, but that's a surprise, so you'll simply have to wait and see. I'm also going to be doing some shopping, with your indulgence. It'll only take a while, and then we will be on our way again." "We're going somewhere besides the village?" Alex was surprised, not expecting to be allowed so far, so soon. "Yes. Not much further, but a bit. There is a place I wish to show you. We will spend the most of our time there." "Do you always plan so many surprises for your companions?" Alex was excited, but curious as well. "No. Only for very special people and unusual occasions. In the future, when our off day consists of me lazing about with my head on your lap, please remember that I was once romantic and thoughtful." "I like the sound of that." "Of what?" "You lazing with your head on my lap. I would get to touch your scalp." It brought a flush, but Sable liked the comment, he could tell. "Hmmm, you've been hanging about Thomas overmuch. You're learning how to flirt." Alex laughed brightly, and they began to ride in earnest. It didn't take long for them to reach the village, and Alex enjoyed the ride. They were able to make conversation, the pace leisurely, and as they chatted about nothing in particular, Alex thought again how odd it all was. He was on a horse with provisions and money. He was riding with a man he thought he might love, and they were free, for the day. Granted, it was freedom with a locked collar about his neck, but freedom nonetheless. "You've gone quiet. Something wrong?" "No, just thinking how strange this is. Good, but strange. I-I don't remember ever having a day to myself, not until I came to Samstar Fields. The first off day, I was almost afraid to leave my room. I thought I might get into trouble, without someone to tell me what to do. Finally, Thomas came looking for me. We played chess, and he stayed the afternoon with me." "He's been a good friend to you. He's a good lad, I'm going to miss him when he's gone." "When does he leave?" "Not for quite a while, nearly summer." Relieved, Alex noticed that they had come around a bend, and were now entering the village gates. He saw the guards by the gate, and felt his stomach clench. He pulled his cloak more tightly around him, drawing the hood further onto his face. Alex doubted that the guards would be ones he'd known before, but there was no need to take a chance. A quick glance showed that Sable had caught his nervousness, and put it down to the newness. "It's okay, Jade. They'll look at your tag, and we'll enter, nothing more." Sure enough, the guards approached, greeting Sable warmly, by name. They still checked his tag, and Alex's, but then waved them on through. Alex sighed his relief, unable to stop a shudder. "Jade?" There was concern in Sable's voice, and Alex gave him a nodding smile, letting him know everything was well. "Let's stable the horses, and I'll show you around." Sable led them to a stable that was more than decent, and soon the horses were settled in nicely. Alex was a bit surprised when Sable again took his hand. "Is it safe?" "Yes. This town is now one of the most tolerant you will find. Many of the places are run by couples of same gender. No one cares, not here, there is a good deal of fairy blood here, it makes for tolerance." Relieved, Alex gladly let his hand be tucked into Sable's larger one. It was reassuring, and soon he relaxed enough to be aware of the sounds and sights around him. Sable bought an ale first off, both of them thirsty from the ride. He bought one for Alex as well, refusing his coin, and explaining that, as the one that had asked, it was his duty. Alex looked doubtful, but he accepted this as true, and he drank the light ale with pleasure. It wasn't strong, Sable had assured him of that, but Alex was so unused to alcohol, that he felt the warmth spread through his entire body. They walked through the square, looking at this stall and that. When they came to a lace vendor, Alex suddenly stopped them. "Sable, Marita has been most kind. That scarf, it reminds me of her. Would it be permitted for me to gift her? Would that be rude or offend her in some way? I only mean to say thanks." "That would be very nice, Jade. And you're right, it does look like her. She'll be most pleased." "Will you help me, with the price? I do not know the value of some things yet. Most things." "Of course. I will squeeze your hand if the price is too high. You then offer one lower, by about a third. When the price is good, I will tap your hand." Alex took a deep breath, and stepped up. He began to bargain, another first. Finally, he felt the tap, and accepted the price. Opening his pouch, he carefully counted out the coins, and then took the scarf, rolled and tied in a muslin square. "That is my first purchase, aside from things I have bought at Samstar Fields. Never did I think to have money, yet alone enough to spend on another, for something as unnecessary as lace. It feels good, Sable, so very good." Alex turned his face up to Sable, green eyes sharp with the vividness of being alive, honestly alive. He wore a pleading look, willing Sable to understand, and the big man did, knew too well how it must all seem to him. The hand Sable placed on the side of Alex's face turned to a thumb caressing a finely etched cheekbone. That led to Sable leaning down, slowly, drawing closer and closer, until his mouth touched, covering Alex's trembling lips with his own. It wasn't a long kiss, was almost chaste, but the connection between the two men was set in an instant. Alex felt himself quicken like a babe in the womb, his heart pounding, but with no more fear. No, something new and different was coiling in his belly, something that licked at him with warm breath. Desire. Alex wanted Sable. For the first time as an adult, he felt honest desire, wanted to touch and be touched. It was the first time in his adult life he could remember feeling such. He had a hunger for Sable. Alex let it show, not shielding his emotions when the stablemaster leaned back. He was relieved to see an answering hunger in the dark depths, but Sable only gave his cheekbone a final caress and then deliberately stepped away, holding out his hand. Alex took it, and they walked in quiet companionship. A few vendors later, and Sable stopped them, heading for a shop across the street. He opened the door with a mischievous twinkle, and Alex entered cautiously. The caution was soon replaced by greed. It was a baker's, and Alex peered longingly at the sweets lying on the trays, protected from the few cold weather flies by netting. "Is it alright?" "Of course, why wouldn't it be?" "Leona says I have a tooth for sweets. She says it isn't healthy to have too much." "That's true for everyday, Jade, and it's good you heed her advice. But this is a special occasion. Get yourself something, you can indulge, a little." Alex looked like a child at Christmas, and soon had purchased a honey-laden cream roll and a small berry tart with more cream and a thick lemon glaze. Sable bought a cream roll, and they ate them on the street, walking and savoring. A cup of hot tea at another stall, and they were ready to keep looking. "Oh, wait. Now, you remember the store I told you was a surprise? It's before us now, so close your eyes." Alex felt a bit unsure, but trusted Sable. He obeyed, and Sable led him to the window, then said, "Open." Lettering on the window, in a bright white paint, proclaimed the shop to be "Xanthe's Books and Manuscripts", but it was the inside of the shop that drew his eyes. Books, laid on the scarlet cloth, their pages open to show the illustrations. More books on the shelves lining the wall. Vellum, inks and inkwells, fine boards of slate and quills of all styles. Sable, seeing that his companion was more than willing to spend the day staring from the outside, laughed and opened the door, leading him inside. Alex was stunned. There were more books here than he'd ever seen in one place, and the vellum drew his hand. He spent a long time examining every shelf, and Sable watched him with gentle amusement. It thrilled him to see the younger man so happy, so lost in himself. The shopkeeper had started to approach him, but had retreated back behind the counter when Sable shook his head. He wanted Alex to look his fill. Finally, Alex turned around, blinking owlishly, as though he'd been lost. "I was right, you do like this store." "Sable, it's amazing!" Alex was aware he was whispering, though he wasn't sure why. "I've never seen so many books, and the vellum! Is...is it all very expensive?" His teeth came out, worrying his bottom lip, and Sable stroked the pad of his thumb across it, urging him to release it. "I'm not sure, to be honest. The master shops here far more than I do. But see the woman behind the counter? She will answer your questions, and be kind as she does it." Alex took a deep breath, and moved hesitantly toward the counter. The lady smiled, she'd seen the awe in his eyes and found it refreshing to think of selling to someone that appreciated the books, and didn't simply require a new symbol of status. "May I be of some help?" "Yes, um, the, um, vellum and...and quills." Alex heard the faint stutter and cursed himself for it, but he was shaking and couldn't help himself. "Ah, yes. No doubt you're seeking a gift for a young man just learning his letters. I think I have something that would be right for someone just struggling with the ink. Follow me, please." Alex, relieved that she was making it easy for him, followed her to a shelf in the corner. "This is the University set, it's a common gift for boys seeking to better themselves. It has vellum of an acceptable grade for practice, as well as three higher quality sheets. There is also a solid quill base and two extra quills. The inkwell is simple but solid, and the ink a grade above practice. It's a good basic beginner's set. I've sold many of them, and more to Lord Fox's people than I care to say." The twinkle in her eye said she knew plainly that the set was for him, and Alex darted a quick glance to Sable. The man was only smiling, and Alex knew he was being teased. "Yes, I think you must. Um, how...how much does it cost?" "It's a fair price, more fair for some." With Sable's eyes guiding him, Alex began to bargain again, stopping when Sable made a motion with one hand. As she moved around the counter, she looked with some humor at Sable, lounging against a wall, looking large in the small room. "You bargain like one long used to such trades. One would think you a horse dealer or some such, young friend." Sable laughed aloud, and moved to stand next to Alex, placing one hand on a slender shoulder. "Jade here is a fine horseman, it's very shrewd of you to pick up on his talent." "I'd pick up more than talent, should you wish." She winked broadly, and Alex felt a quiver of anger run through him, taking him off guard. "He's mine." It was a flat statement, and Sable and the lady both looked at him with wide eyes. "I-I meant, h-he's with me, now, to-today." Completely undone by the spike of emotion, and frightened that he'd said something very wrong, Alex did the only thing he could think of that would make it better. He turned his face into Sable's chest, clinging tightly. "I'm sorry." It was a whisper, but they both heard him. "Here, little one, no harm has been done. Come now, head up again, let me see those lovely eyes. That's it." Alex, in an attempt to atone, dutifully raised his head. "You did nothing wrong, young friend. Now, come, I've a small gift for you, do you show you've forgiven me for my offense. See here? It is an ink powder. Mix it with a bit of wine, and you'll have a fine practice ink, and plenty of it. One pinch of powder to a cup of wine." She dropped it into his bundle, and Alex stepped forward. "Thank you." He managed a wavery smile, and she smiled back. "You are welcome, and I hope I will see you here again in the future. I like to sell my things to those that love them." Alex made a small bow, aware that she was a lady of some station, and they left. Once outside, he gave a large sigh of relief, then looked to Sable. "How bad was I?" It was an honest question, and Sable answered it with the gravity it required. "It was a slip, granted. And, in the wrong place, to the wrong people, it could have gone badly. Besides, as a slave, it's not your right to claim anyone." The words cut into Alex, though he'd known the depth of his sin, in that regard. "I'm sorry, Sable. I'll tell the master tonight. Unless...unless you think we should go back now." "No. You've had enough trouble for one day. He shouldn't have spanked you earlier, the lesson was already learned, he only acted out of his own fear. I'm not saying to keep this from our Master, I would never encourage that. I only tell you that, to my mind, you've been punished enough to cover it. If you choose to let this be between us, and you could, Jade, without guilt or wrong doing, he will not know, not from me." Alex bit his lip, confused and troubled. "Jade, let it be. Enough seriousness for the day. There are still things you must learn, still things to be settled, but not today. This is meant to be a day of rest, of fun, and you've had little enough of those in your life, I'd wager. Now, you have done well, Jade, very well. It's enough for today. I'm going to use my rank as senior slave and forbid you to think of anything serious for the rest of the day. Is that clear?" Alex looked into the face of this man that was trying so hard to show him a brighter path, and he saw that Sable's pleasure would only come with his own. Besides, the man was right, he could think of all these things later, when he had nothing but the night and the goddess. All would be well by morning. "Yes, sir. Nothing but light and fun." "Good. Now kiss me, and let's be done in town." Alex blushed, just a hint of warm pink, but he held up his face, lifting his lips to Sable's in another brief touch. Taking his hand again, they began to walk back toward the stables. Alex felt better as soon as they headed away from town. It had been more of a strain than he'd realized, going among so many people, away from the safety of Samstar Fields. How far he'd come, when home and the master meant safety, and the thought of not being owned by Lord Fox could bring him such dread. But now, now they were alone again, and Alex could breathe, could hear the birds and the sound of Jessopa moving beneath him, the rhythm of her hooves on the hard ground calming. "Better?" "Yes. And you?" "I was only concerned for you, Jade. I'm fine. And now, I think it's time we had a little lunch. We're nearly there, just a bit further, around this bend." They made the curve, and Alex gasped. There, sprawled in front of them, lay the most beautiful lake he'd ever seen. A small rook tumbled into it, and the splashing sent up plumes of rainbow colors in the fall sun. The sound was a melodic gurgle and the grasses and trees around it were lush, despite the lateness of the year. "It's beautiful! I've never seen a place so lovely." Alex was still sitting on his horse, just staring, and he felt a light pat on his thigh. Looking down, he saw Sable's hands out to his waist, and Alex moved instinctively, putting his hands on the broad shoulders and letting Sable lift him down. The bigger man made no move to release him, and Alex turned in the subtle embrace. Sable's hands were still at his waist, but Alex could lean back against his chest, resting his own hands over Sable's. They simply stood and looked for a long moment, then Sable placed a kiss on Alex's head, and turned to his saddlebags. He handed Alex a couple of blankets and took the basket himself. Sable led them to a clear wide spot under a sprawling tree. The branches came down like a canopy, leaves of gold and russet filtering the light above, the lake and its beauty spread before them. Alex shook out the blankets, and Sable knelt with the basket, beginning to unload it. "Shall we see what Leona has packed for us? If I know her, it'll be a full meal, despite the fact that I only asked for a lunch basket." "She makes food if you ask?" "If you pay her for the goods and time, plus a small profit, she will make what you ask, yes. The kitchens must make a profit, they drain the most of our resources. The kitchen girls will take on extra work for spending money, they get a share, but the rest is profit, and helps keep us all fed." Alex eyed the bundles coming out of the basket with interest. He was hungry, and ready to rest for a while. "Ah, she's done right by us. We have savory pies, cheese, pears and small sweet cakes. A jug of wine and one of ale." They divided the food, and after the moment of silence, settled in to eat. It was delicious, the meat and vegetable pies in their sauce always one of Alex's favorites. They ate without much conversation between them, but the mood was pleasant. When the last crumb had been savored and the jugs drained, Alex lay back on the blankets, looking up at the leaves swaying above him. He felt the blanket shift, and Sable settled next to him, not touching him, just lying close beside him, sharing the view. The wind gusted, and Alex drew his cloak more tightly around him. A moment later, a blanket was being spread over him, and he smiled at the care. "Warm enough?" "I could be warmer." It was as bold as he dared be, and he had to lower his eyes for a moment to say the words, but he meant them. Sable moved to lie next to him again, and then he was propping on one elbow, looking down over Alex. "We have to take this slowly, Jade. I may want nothing more than to make love to you for hours, but it's too soon for that." "Is it too soon for you to hold me, as we lie here?" "No. It's not too soon for that at all. Would you like that?" "Please." Sable lay back, and Alex turned onto his side, his head pillowed on Sable's shoulder, the strong arms around him. Alex was being held the way he'd held Fitz, and now he found the comfort Fitz had spoken of. He could smell the clean scent of Sable, a touch of roses clinging to him yet. It made Alex smile. "You smell like roses." "And you smell like honey and spice." "Fitz made it for me. He said it would suit me." "He was right. He made mine, too. He said it was only natural to have roses where you'd normally have manure." Alex couldn't help it, he laughed. Fortunately, he could feel Sable's own laughter moving him, heard and felt the soft sounds. "Did he pick the master's scent, too?" "No. He told me he only tried to copy the scent that was already there. That clean, dry warmth." "Laundry on the line in the sun." "Then brought into the library and left for a week." Alex turned his head slightly, looking more fully into Sable's face. "So, you don't mind that I love him, too." "Everybody loves the master, one way or another. He isn't perfect, and there are times I get incredibly angry with him, but I'd forgive him anything. I don't mind that you love him, too. And I also don't mind that he's in love with you. That's a new one. He's never loved anybody like this but me before, not really. But it doesn't bother me. How could it, when I love the both of you?" Alex nodded, eyes growing thoughtful and dark. "Oh no, you don't." Sable sounded firm, but Alex's quick glance showed him only pretending to be stern. "I told you no more heavy thoughts, and I meant it. I can see I'll have to resort to force." So saying, Sable reached down, his fingers finding Alex's ribs, and tickling. "What are—" Alex, having never been tickled, wasn't ready for the laughter that began to burst out of him, but he gave into it easily enough. He tried to roll away, but Sable was leaning over him now, and tenuously pinning him to the ground. Finally, after many breathless moments, Sable stopped and merely held Alex close to him. Alex, still weak from laughing, only cuddled like a child, nuzzling close. They watched the leaves, listened to the birds, and slowly drifted to sleep. Moss, Sable and Jade continued... raven@aeneas.net

Title: Moss, Sable and Jade – Chapters Three, Four & Five Author: Raven Email: raven@aeneas.net Pairing: As far as pairings go, there will be Sk/K, Sk/M, K/O, K/M, K/M/Sk and maybe some other assorted variations. Rating: NC-17 Author's Notes: While vaguely medieval in nature and setting, this does not take place in any known time or place. It is full of anachronisms at every turn from material things and manners of speech to philosophies that simply were not present in the real Middle Ages. Also, while this is a slave fic and carries some dire warnings, there are very few graphic scenes in this fic. This is not a typical slave fic in that it is ultimately about goodness, healing, hope and love. There may be more dark scenes before the work is completed, but right now, you will find very little of that sort of thing here. It is not a dark piece, nor a harsh story, so don't let the category "slave fic" mislead you. There is nothing wrong with that kind of story at all, I'm simply warning you that this isn't one of them. Additional Author's Notes: This is a work-in-progress. Please be aware that I do not work on this story very often. It has taken over a year to get it to this point, it may take another year before it is complete. It is my pet project and I am writing it solely to please myself, therefore I only work on it when the mood, timing and setting are just right. That doesn't happen very often, I can promise. It's not a matter of inspiration or feedback, it's a question of loving a private world in my own head and playing there selectively, to keep it special. So, if you really, really, really need to know what happens next and just can't wait...please, do us both a favor and don't read it until it's done. [g] Warnings: Slave fic. Angst. References to non-consensual behaviors. Violence. References to Torture. Oh, yeah, and Angst. Summary: Alex is a slave, but his new home and master are unlike anything he's ever known. Disclaimer: The characters within these stories belong to Fox, 1013, et al. There is no profit made or intended from these stories, and they should be considered as being for entertainment purposes only. back to top

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