Chapter 15
Author: Ellen
Rating: NC-17 (overall story)
Spoilers: none
Summary: Angel, Cordelia and Doyle begin to realize some of the further implications of their bond.
Disclaimer: The characters of Angel, Doyle and Cordelia are the property of 20th Century Fox, Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and others. No ownership is claimed and no copyright infringement is intended.
Thoughts between Angel, Doyle and Cordelia are marked //like this.//
Thanks to Tammy for all your help with this story!
They found a guest house nearby that still had one room available. After giving repeated assurances that the one room would be enough for the three of them, they collapsed gratefully into the large bed, far too drained even to consider anything beyond sleep.
All of them were so exhausted that they didn't even stop to make sure that the window curtains were securely closed.
Angel woke just before dawn, with an uneasy sense of exposure. Opening his eyes, he realized that the morning sun was very close to coming in through the window. Cordelia and Doyle were still asleep. Trying not to disturb them, he climbed out of bed to shut the curtains.
Cordelia stirred slightly as his movement jarred her and she reached drowsily toward him as he returned to bed.
//We forgot, didn't we?//
//Yes. It's all right, I took care of it.//
//Sorry.// She snuggled up against Angel as he stretched out again and he smiled as he drew her close.
//No problem. We all forgot.//
//If only everything could be so easily forgiven,// she sent, burying her face against his shoulder.
Beside them, Doyle muttered something unintelligible, as he was drawn reluctantly into wakefulness. Cordelia lifted her head and rolled toward him, brushing his cheek lightly with her lips.
He opened his eyes slowly to see her smile.
//Good morning.//
//Yeah.// Doyle stretched experimentally, watching Cordelia's face. //Maybe it is, at that.//
Physically at least, he realized, he felt much better. The bone-deep weariness was gone. He no longer felt weighed down by that vague, constant ache.
Yes, his body was much improved and it told him so in no uncertain terms as Cordelia bent down to kiss him, wiggling seductively against him as she did.
He still wasn't sure about the rest of him but he knew one part that would gladly take what he could get.
Feeling Doyle's awakening response, Angel sent a glad //Hey,// as he resettled himself beside Doyle. Cordelia grinned at both of them, throwing an arm around each and pulling them into a delighted hug.
//I'd say it's definitely looking like a good morning,// Angel sent as he brought a teasing hand down and trailed his fingers across both his lovers' bodies. Relieved to see Doyle starting to smile, he moved in closer and was rewarded as Doyle lifted his face to meet him in a hungry kiss.
Doyle could feel the fierce joy blooming within both his lovers as he drew them down in his embrace. If there was something in him that still felt empty, that was still incomplete, this much at least, he knew, he could still give them.
He let out a breathless sound at their enthusiasm, as his desire flared hot and strong again. Cordelia laughed against his neck, as Angel's touch brought him surging upward and both of them moved eagerly to meet his need.
Cordelia's hair spilled across his belly and then there were fingers and one cool tongue and one hot mouth moving everywhere on his body and it was good not to have to think at all. It was enough just to let his body answer theirs, as though he had been sleeping for years and he would only be awake for these few minutes and he had to have everything at once, right now, from both of them, from every part of them. He drew it all in, greedily, pulling at their bodies and their minds with his own, letting the surging of his renewed need for their touch speak for him.
No, there was nothing to be said. All that he had to do was surrender to the intensity of the sensations that spiralled through him as they both made love to him at once, unable to tell which was his own pleasure and which was theirs.
He heard his own voice moaning, until it was muffled by Angel's mouth and then Cordelia's. God, he had missed this so much... and then, even that feeling was too much for him to bear and gratefully, he let go of all pretense of thinking.
There was only the three of them and no need for thought at all.
Later, after they had kissed the sweat from his face and his body, after his breathing had quieted, he lay still pressed closely between them and unwelcome thought returned.
//It's going to be all right,// Cordelia assured him, feeling the tension beginning to come back into his body. //As long as you let us be with you, everything's going to be fine. Please, please, don't shut us out again.//
//I know that hurts you. I'm sorry for that,// he sent humbly, as she smoothed the damp hair off his forehead. //I never wanted to hurt you, either one of you.//
//We know,// she soothed.
Angel took his hand, fingers interwining with his. //We know that it's hard to let us in sometimes. Remember, there's nothing in you that we can't accept, nothing that we can't love.//
//I don't deserve any of this but, thank you.//
//I don't know whether you're their Promised One or not but I know you're ours,// Cordelia responded. //You're what we want, what we need. Please, don't take that away from us.//
//Cordelia,// Angel warned. //Easy.//
//No, it's all right, love. She has the right to crowd a little, after what I've put the both of you through. I can take it.//
//Can you?//
//Yeah, I can.// Doyle caught some of Cordelia's hair between his fingers and rolled it slowly in his palm, before bringing it to his lips. //If she wasn't pushy, she wouldn't be the Cordy we both love.//
//Hey,// Cordelia half-protested, kissing him. //I'm trying really hard. You know I am.//
//I know it, princess. I do.//
Angel squeezed Doyle's hand lightly. //We only want to do what's right for you. I know that a lot of this is my fault. I made this all so much more difficult for you.//
//That?// Doyle dismissed his forced detox with a shrug. //Yeah, it hurt but it had to be done. Timing sucked, that's true but you couldn't know that. Besides, there really wasn't any good time, only, maybe, less bad.//
Angel laughed quietly. //Less bad would have been better. But I'll make it up to you any way I can.//
//There's nothing to make up for, man. If you want it in words, I forgave you a long time ago. I'm the one who's been hurting you since then.//
//We both forgive you, too,// Cordelia put in quickly. //Don't let it bother you. We just want to help, that's all. Whatever we can do, whatever it takes.//
//I know. But it's going to take me awhile, okay? I can't deal with my mother yet, much less deal with... him.// Even in his thoughts, Doyle couldn't bear to call Alon his father.
//Take as long as you need,// Angel sent and Cordelia added, //We're not on a clock here. We'll take it one step at a time, okay?//
//Okay.//
Doyle sat up, still holding Angel's hand loosely in one of his and hugged Cordelia awkwardly with the other arm. //There's one more thing that I'm still not sure about.//
//What's that?//
//The vision. Why? My mum wasn't really in trouble. Why would the Powers send the vision?//
Angel responded, //I think you already know the answer to that one. She wasn't the one who needed help.//
Doyle was silent for a long moment. //You mean, I was.//
//I know it hurt you, a lot but maybe it was something that you needed,// Angel sent gently. //Maybe being there, hearing your mother's story, meeting Alon, and even the healing circle was part of the Powers' plan for you, all along.//
//Maybe. I'm just not ready yet for... all that. Not now.//
//That's fine with us. We'd rather have you all to ourselves anyway,// Cordelia thought and Doyle had to smile at her possessiveness.
//All right then. I'll try not to shut you out quite so much but I can't promise you too much, you understand.//
//All we ask is that you remember that you're not alone.//
//I've never forgotten that.//
Cordelia brought her hand up to his face, turning it slightly, so that he could easily see the ring she wore. //If you haven't forgotten, then, try to remember what this meant, when you both gave it to me. I'm part of you now, just like you're part of me.//
//You are.//
//You don't cut off a part of yourself. You don't slam the door in your own face. Well, maybe you do but don't slam it in mine.//
Anticipating Angel's reprimand before he sent it, Cordelia turned toward him. //And don't tell me to back off. He needs to know how I feel, just like I need to know how he feels. All this tiptoeing around things, treating him like he's going to break, it doesn't help.//
//She's right,// Doyle put in. //She's not doing anything that she shouldn't be doing. I'm the one who needs to start getting over it but I just need some time.//
//You have it,// Angel sent firmly.
//But you'll remember this, right?// Cordelia was still holding her hand up and Doyle caught it in his own, placing a gentle kiss on her finger, next to the ring.
//I'll remember.//
//We're in this together,// she reminded him.
Doyle lifted both hands, smiling, in a gesture of surrender. //Together.//
The End
