Chapter 8
Author: Ellen
Rating: NC-17 (overall story)
Spoilers: none
Summary: Angel, Cordelia and Doyle begin to realize some of the further implications of their bond.
Disclaimer: The characters of Angel, Doyle and Cordelia are the property of 20th Century Fox, Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and others. No ownership is claimed and no copyright infringement is intended.
Thoughts between Angel, Doyle and Cordelia are marked //like this.//
Angel had sensed panic in Cordelia's thoughts and had ended his phone conversation with Harry abruptly – too abruptly, he knew, since Harry was still very concerned about her ex-husband. But Angel knew he had to move quickly, because Cordelia's growing terror was only hurting Doyle.
//I'm on my way,// he sent, ignoring the slow elevator and taking the stairs at a run. //It will be all right, Cordelia.//
//I can't stand it when he's hurting this much,// Cordelia sent back and Angel could feel her hovering at the edge of hysteria.
//I'll help you to help him. It will be all right,// he soothed. As he entered the apartment, he felt Cordelia's almost overwhelming relief to see him. One look at Doyle told him why.
Although Angel had sensed some of Doyle's pain through the link, Doyle had blocked most of it from him. It amazed Angel that Doyle had maintained even enough control to try to protect the two of them from what he was going through.
Angel had seldom seen Doyle look this bad, despite all the visions and the hangovers that he had been forced to witness. He had curled himself into a tight ball, with his knees to his chest and his arms over his head, hiding his face but Angel could see his body shake, could smell the sweat and could hear his heart racing. He didn't need to see Doyle's face or to force his way through the block that Doyle had put up against them both, to know how bad this was for him.
Doyle was trying to shield them from his ordeal as much as he could but that was only panicking Cordelia even more.
//Cordelia,// Angel sent as calmly as he could. //We can help him but you have to relax a little first. For his sake, try to settle down. When you're this upset yourself, you can't do anything good for him and I need you to work with me.//
//Anything,// Cordelia sent but there was still far too much fear coming through from her. //Just show me what to do to help him, Angel, please.//
//First, you need to let go of your own fear. If you have to look away from him, if you have to block him to get yourself together, then do it. You can't help Doyle when you're panicking.//
//Easy for you to say!// she flared back. //Look at him!//
//I'm looking. He's trying to protect us. Your fear only hurts him more.//
Faintly, through the imperfect block, he could sense Doyle's relief that Angel understood. Angel came closer, deliberately ignoring Cordelia for a moment and stood next to Doyle without touching him.
Carefully, Angel kept his thoughts as calm as possible.
//My timing was poor. I'm sorry. If I had known about your mother...// he sent.
//You couldn't know,// Doyle sent back without looking up, his face still hidden. //No way you could've known. She always hated the drinkin' too, y'know. If she's dead, least I can do... in her memory...//
His body shuddered and Angel could feel him biting his lip and could smell the fresh blood as teeth pierced flesh.
//She may not be dead,// Angel sent back gently. //We will find out. But first, we have to get you through this.//
Angel could feel Cordelia starting to calm down and he sent her a warm flash of encouragement. //Better.//
//As soon as Cordelia's ready,// he sent to Doyle, allowing Cordelia to hear as well, //I'm going to try something that might help.//
//You two shouldn't have to...//
//I started this,// Angel pointed out.
//Yeah but she didn't, now did she?//
Cordelia, helped by Angel's comforting presence, was slowly regaining her composure, filling her mind with positive thoughts as she tried to steady herself. She sent to both of them, //I'm sorry I was freaking out on you, guys. I'll be fine in a minute, okay?//
//Good, that's the way to do it,// Angel thought.
Angel and even Doyle, could sense the mental images that Cordelia was using to calm herself.
She was picturing Doyle sleeping peacefully, curled in her arms, with a smile on his face. She was recalling the sweetness of one of his gentle kisses when she was furious over another disastrous audition, calling to mind the soft lilt in his voice as he reassured her of how beautiful and talented she was. She was remembering him laughing at something they were watching on television, with that sudden, breathless explosion of laughter that sounded utterly surprised at itself.
As she remembered all these things, Angel picked up the images and the tenderness that she was feeling and he built on it, amplifying it for her, for Doyle and for himself, until the glow of it warmed all three of them.
He felt Doyle sigh a little and knew that the easing of Cordelia's fear was helping him, too. The painful terror was ebbing away, replaced by the renewed knowledge that their love for each other would be strong enough to get them through this.
//I'm ready now,// Cordelia sent and Angel agreed.
//Here. I will guide you but this needs living hands.//
Angel brought Cordelia over next to Doyle, placing his palms on the back of Cordelia's hands. //Don't actually touch him yet – his skin is too sensitive right now. I want you to keep your hands just a little bit above his skin, palms right over him, like this,// and he showed her. //Bring your hands close enough that... do you feel that?//
As Cordelia's hands, guided by Angel, hovered just above Doyle's neck and shoulders, very close yet not quite touching, she could feel a little prickle, almost like electricity.
//Yes, I can feel it!//
//Good. That's where we'll work, for now.//
//It's like...// Cordelia struggled for words, then found them in Angel's mind. //An energy field? Is that what you call it?//
//Yes. Remember when we helped the hangover? We're going to do the same thing but without actually touching, just working with the energy, okay?//
//Okay, just show me. You said that this needs living hands?//
//Yes. My body doesn't have the same kind of energy, the kind we need for this but I'm going to work through you. You and I both will be doing this, together but the energy needs to flow through your body, your living warmth.// Angel pressed his cooler body against Cordelia's as he spoke and she gave a little, half-pleasurable shiver. //You're the focus point. Do you understand?//
//I think so. Like a magnifying glass?//
//Yes, like that.//
//Okay.//
Cordelia felt the tingling in her palms grow stronger. //Like this,// Angel instructed. //Do you feel that cold spot?//
//Hey, yeah, I do.// With Angel's help, she was able to sense areas under her hands where Doyle's energy was colder than it should be.
//First, we're going to brush the cold away, like brushing your hair.// Angel moved her hands with his, showing her. //Brush it away and where it was, we're going to fill up those spaces with good, warm, living energy, get it?//
//Yeah!// Cordelia grinned with delighted comprehension. //I can do this! I mean, we can do this,// she corrected.
//We're going to cover his whole body, doing this, all the way from top to bottom, head to toe.//
Doyle remained very quiet but Angel could feel some of the tension starting to leave him and could see his shaking diminish, as Cordelia first made sweeping motions away from him and then moved quickly to fill the gaps with her own bright energy. That energy was unmistakably Cordelia – a hot, strong current of loving impatience, filled with a protectiveness that was almost angry in its intensity. The heat of it poured through Doyle, even without touching him physically, breaking through his barriers but opening them up not just to pain but to the flow of power moving both through the bond and through Cordelia's hands.
After a few moments, Doyle sent:
//It's workin'! I'm feelin' better!//
//Don't stop yet,// Angel sent to Cordelia and she laughed back at him.
//Stop? I'm just getting started!//
As Cordelia continued to channel healing energy into Doyle, Angel could feel the relief that it was bringing throughout Doyle's body. He monitored both of them, even as he was continuing to feed his own energy into Cordelia, as Cordelia's hands moved just above Doyle's skin.
//My palms feel red-hot,// Cordelia sent, //but it doesn't hurt. It feels good!//
//You're doing just great, Cordelia,// Angel encouraged, sensing how the energy changed as it passed from his hands into Cordelia's, how it became much hotter, more demanding, with a passion that wasn't going to take no for an answer. He felt Doyle's body warming, relaxing and felt the last of the cold clenching his muscles ebbing away.
//Oh, yeah, that's so much better,// Doyle thought, dizzy with the relief. //It's not hurting any more.//
//Yeah! We did it!// Cordelia exulted, still pouring energy into his body.
//You can touch him now, Cordelia,// Angel sent after checking the sensations he was getting from Doyle. //It won't bother him now.//
//Bother?// Doyle sent back. //Not hardly it won't.//
//Does this feel all right?// Cordelia asked, as her hands finally made physical contact with Doyle's neck and shoulders and she began to massage them gently.
//Your hands are like a furnace but it feels wonderful. Don't stop.//
//Not planning on it,// she sent back. Angel removed his hands from Cordelia's and put his arms around her waist instead, as she rubbed Doyle's neck and shoulders. Her whole body seemed to be glowing with heat.
Doyle moaned softly but not with pain this time. As Angel pressed close behind Cordelia, she laughed softly. //You boys thinking what I think you are?//
//Thinkin',// Doyle sent back. //Not ready to do yet but definitely thinkin', yeah.//
//Well, I think somebody else is ready for action.// She pressed back against Angel, her hands still working on Doyle.
//As long as you keep your hands on me, darlin',// Doyle thought. //I don't mind what else you might be up to.//
//Mmmm, sounds like an invitation.//
Cordelia continued to massage Doyle's shoulders as Angel sent, //Keep on doing what you're doing. Keep the link open. Keep the energy flowing.//
//Got it.// She gasped a little as she felt Angel's hands move gently over her body but she kept the heat of her own hands moving in gentle circles from Doyle's neck to his shoulders and back.
Angel was loosening her clothing and she bent forward, her mouth against the back of Doyle's neck and her hands working from his shoulderblades to his spine. "Oh," she gasped aloud, her breath heating Doyle's skin as Angel's hands caressed her.
Doyle's eyes were closed and he was still perspiring but he smelled and felt very different now. Angel sent an inquiring thought toward Doyle and was instantly reassured that, although Doyle wasn't ready to participate yet, he was definitely enjoying the sensations that he was getting from Cordelia.
//You two go right ahead. I'm feelin' no pain right now, I promise ya and I plan to share just about anything you can send my way.//
Cordelia's hands hesitated for a moment on Doyle's back, then picked up the rhythm of the massage again. Angel was finding it difficult to keep his movements slow and gentle now, as the heat of Cordelia's body called out to him. As soon as he had loosened their clothing enough to clear the path between them, he pressed back against her body, trying to find just the right angle of approach without separating Cordelia from Doyle.
//Like this,// Cordelia sent unsteadily, shifting her legs. //Oh, yeah. Like that.//
//Yes. That's it.//
Finding the right position at last, Angel kept the link to Doyle wide open, so that he could feel Cordelia's hands on Doyle's back at the same moment that he was thrusting his own body forward. Cordelia gasped, keeping her own link to both of them wide open as well, so that both of them could feel her pleasure. She began to kiss Doyle's shoulder as her thumbs worked down his spine and then moaned low in her throat as Angel's body moved against hers.
//Yes. That's right. That's so right.//
Cordelia was still rubbing Doyle's back but her movements were becoming more and more erratic as Angel moved faster. It didn't matter any more; the heated energy that was moving through the bond between them was enough. Her hands finally left Doyle's body altogether and moved backward, to push Angel even more tightly against her and Doyle didn't mind. He sighed with borrowed pleasure when he felt his lovers give each other sweet relief.
//Ah, yes.//
It was only after Angel had stopped moving and was simply resting against Cordelia's body and Cordelia's hands had returned to caress Doyle's back again, that they heard a voice from the stairs.
"I should have known."
All three of them turned and at the same moment, flinched with embarrassment.
At the foot of the stairs, with her hands on her hips, Harry stood, watching them.
