Chapter 10
Author: Ellen
Rating: NC-17 (overall)
Spoilers: Somnambulist
Summary: The events of Somnambulist as they might have happened in the 'Power of Three' universe.
Disclaimer: This story is adapted from an episode of the WB television series Angel, written by Tim Minear. Angel, Doyle, Cordelia and all other characters from the Angel television series belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and/or 20th Century Fox and other entities who aren't us. We only wish that we owned them and could keep them safe and happy and loved.
Thoughts among Angel, Doyle and Cordelia are set off by double slashes //like this.//
Morning showed up right on schedule. Angel and Doyle were still in bed but Cordelia found herself unable to sleep in.
//You're restless this mornin',// Doyle sent sleepily as Cordelia dressed. //What, didn't we tire you out enough?//
Cordelia laughed. //You know it. Promise not to laugh if I waddle instead of walk today.//
//Only if you'll promise me the same,// Doyle responded and they shared a laugh as Angel opened one eye.
//You two complaining?//
//Never,// Doyle assured him and Cordelia added, //Only in a not-so-complainy way. So, you want coffee?//
//Only if you order in.//
//Funny, very funny. You two ever going to get over making fun of my coffee?//
//Never happen.//
Cordelia was still fussing with the coffeemaker when someone knocked on the door. She turned around, frowned and sent her thoughts downstairs.
//Hmmm, bright sunshiney day and a guy outside is holding a big dark coat over his head like it's raining cats and dogs. Guys, is this who I think it is? 'Cause if it is, he's the first vamp morning person I've ever met,// she sent.
//Try to get a better look at him before you open the door.//
Cordelia peered through the wavy glass, sending the indistinct image back through the link. //Best I can do. But I don't have to be one to smell one.//
//You mean that literally, 'Delia? Or — //
//Save that for later, Doyle,// Angel cut him off. //It's him. Stall him as long as you can but keep him there,// Angel sent back tensely. //I'm on my way up.//
//Stall him. Yeah, right, got it.//
Cordelia opened the door with an exaggerated smile. "Welcome to Angel Investigations!"
The slight, pale young man with the coat over his head smiled warmly back at her. He had it just right, with an appealing touch of shyness. "Thanks, I wasn't sure anybody was here."
//Liar. He saw me through the glass and he knows that I know it,// Cordelia thought.
"Hey, just early in the morning. What can we do for you?"
"Well, I have kind of an unusual problem and I understand that this may be just the place."
"We help the hopeless, that's us."
"If I can just step in to your office here for a few minutes?"
//Sure but no refreshments offered. At least, not of the kind you like,// Cordelia thought sourly.
"So, you've discovered the seamy underbelly of the candy coated America, have you? Well, you've come to the right place! Here at Angel Investigations we won't judge but we will charge. Now, tell me how you heard of us."
"From the police actually."
"Really?"
"Yeah. The detective I spoke with was very enthusiastic. For the truly human touch, she said, I should come to you. I'm trying to remember her name. What was it? She is about this tall, attractive, natural blonde?"
"Oh yeah, Kate! Detective Lockley."
"Lockley. – Yes, that's it."
"Yeah, she and Angel are totally tight."
"So, she is more than just a professional relationship then. He cares for her."
"Oh, yeah. More than he knows. But that's our Angel, dour, sure but not afraid to get personally involved in his work. And you realize I can't help but notice the fact that you're totally pumping me for information, aren't you?"
Penn grinned. "You realize you'll never make it to the exit before I..."
Cordelia opened the curtains. "Go up like a match?"
As Penn sidestepped to avoid the beam of sunlight, Cordelia half-turned to smile brilliantly at Angel, who was emerging from the elevator, with Doyle right behind him. //About time. Could you have moved any slower?//
"Well. Look who's back from his 'up with people' meeting," Penn jeered.
Angel put a hand behind him to Doyle. "Give me a stake," he said aloud.
But Doyle could feel the reluctance hidden behind the words. If Angel had intended to stake Penn, Doyle realized, he wouldn't have spoken out loud.
Doyle's eyes met Cordelia's as she realized the same thing.
She wasn't happy about it, either.
The tension was becoming painful. Instinctively, Doyle tried to break it with a joke. "A steak? It's only eight in the morning. Oh, you mean like," miming with a stabbing motion, "okay."
Actually, the stake was already in his hand, ready to give to Angel. It had been in his hand from the moment they stepped onto the elevator but he hung back, knowing that Angel wasn't ready yet.
Penn laughed. "What? You don't drink, so now no one gets to?"
"I don't expect you to understand."
"Oh, I understand. I was a Puritan, remember?"
"It's gotta end."
So why did Angel sound like he was trying to convince himself? Maybe because he was.
"Why? Because you say so? And how does that work exactly? You just wake up one morning and decide 'Okay, now I'm good!' No, Angelus, it doesn't end. It never, ever ends. It just goes on and on."
Cordelia lost her patience and took the stake out of Doyle's hand. "That's not the only thing that goes on and on." She handed the stake to Angel with an imperious gesture. "Here, dust him."
Still Angel hesitated and not only because of the bar of sunlight falling on the floor. Doyle and Cordelia had both seen him cross a larger expanse of sunlight than this before. It hadn't stopped him from going after Marcus.
It wasn't the sunshine that was stopping him now. They both knew that he just wasn't ready to let go.
"I'm sorry for what I did to you, Penn, for what I turned you into."
"A first-class killer? An artist? A bold re-interpreter of the form?"
"Try cheesy hack. Look at you. You've been getting back at your father for over 200 years. It's pathetic and cliched. Probably got a killer shrine on your wall, huh? News clippings, magazine articles, maybe a few candles? Oh, you are so prosaic."
The door opened and Wesley, clueless as usual, strolled in. "Nothing on the streets about a new vampire in town."
Penn reached behind him, without even looking and grabbed Wesley by the collar.
"Which is maybe because he's here... and has me by the throat."
"Let him go," Angel said quietly.
"Why? Is this one of your new toys, like Kate Lockley? See, I even know her name." Still holding Wesley, Penn sniffed, his face shifting for a moment and then turning back. "He doesn't smell of you, Angelus. Come to think of it, that Kate didn't smell of you, either. So what's the new game?"
Penn glanced back at the man he was holding and at the calm face of Angel. Then he looked at the other two, with a look of sudden realization.
"It's not this one, is it?" With a contemptuous gesture, he tossed Wesley aside. Wesley hit the floor, rolled and lay there looking stunned for a moment, while Penn turned an appraising gaze upon Doyle and Cordelia.
"I've been looking in the wrong place, haven't I? Those two, they're the ones who smell of you. Even with that nice little patch of sunshine between us, I'm starting to pick up the scent now. Sorry it took me so long. Come to think of it, you stink of 'love,' Angelus. That's your new game. Well, maybe it's time I started playing a different game, as well."
Wesley started to stir and Penn kicked him casually, until he fell back on the floor again.
"You're right, Angelus, my work was getting stale. I appreciate the critique. I've been playing the same games that you taught me for much too long. It's time to change the rules, don't you think?"
He looked at Doyle, then Cordelia. "Humans. So fragile, so vulnerable, aren't they? There are so many different ways to kill them. So look for something new, innovative, something shockingly original. Just think of the worst possible thing you can imagine and I'll see you there."
Penn flipped his coat over his head, smiled and walked out the door.
From the floor, Wesley groaned, trying to get up. "Where's a crossbow when you need one?"
Angel just stood still, saying nothing, as Cordelia approached Wesley. "You going to be all right? 'Cause that was probably the dorkiest entrance you've made yet. But I bet you'll come up with a topper tomorrow."
"Your confidence is inspiring. I think I'll survive." Wesley took Cordelia's offered hand and Doyle came around without a word and offered his, as well. With their help, the ex-watcher managed to get up and over to the couch, where he sank down again with a wince.
Cordelia glanced back at Angel. He was blocking his thoughts again and his face looked blank. //Big trouble,// she sent to Doyle.
//I know, princess, I know.//
"What in the world was he talking about?" Wesley asked, still holding a hand pressed to his side in pain. Angel just shook his head.
"It's a vampire thing, Wesley. You wouldn't understand."
"Well, Wes, I think we're going to be in for a major brooding session here," Cordelia said. "So, why don't you just recover on the couch for a few minutes till you feel well enough to leave and then you can head on home and start this day all over again. I think we're going to call Angel Investigations closed for business today."
"Er, yes. Sorry, Angel."
"It's not your fault, Wesley," Angel said in a distant, weary voice. "It's mine."
Cordelia grimaced. "See what I mean? It's going to be one of those days."
"Ah, well. I am sorry for my part in it, however small it may have been." Wesley stretched and groaned. "I've had better mornings myself. I'd best get up now, before I'm too stiff to move again. If I can be of some assistance later, let me know."
Glancing from Angel to Doyle and seeing that neither of them were about to say or do anything, Cordelia stepped forward. "We will. Thanks again." She grasped Wesley's arm firmly and "assisted" him in limping to the door.
Once the door closed behind him, she pulled out a "Closed" sign from under one of the plants. Doyle watched with amusement as she hung the sign on the door with an emphatic gesture and locked the door, slamming the bolt loudly.
//That's enough I think, princess. The door can't fight back. And it's not that poor defenseless door you're mad at, anyhow.//
//Go ahead, Cordelia.// Angel's mental voice was defeated. //Let me have it. I deserve everything you can say to me.//
//Really?// The sarcasm in her thoughts made Doyle flinch. //Is that so? Well, then, deserve this.//
She stalked over to him, grabbed him by the shoulders and put her face as close to his as she could get it without touching. //You think apt-pupil boy is right. You think love has to make you weak. Isn't that what you really think? Isn't it?//
Angel's mental answer was very soft. //Yes.//
//Think again.// Roughly, she put her hands on each side of his face and held it. //Sure, we can let it make us weak. Or we can learn how to let it make us strong. Have you forgotten everything the two of us read in that spell book?//
//What?//
//Men! And don't try to tell me you're not a man, either. I wouldn't be walking crooked this morning if you weren't.//
Doyle laughed out loud and she whirled. //Or you, either!//
He blushed and she immediately softened. //You never read the book but you, Angel! Don't you remember any of it?// She stared back into Angel's eyes. //Are you so determined that you have to suffer for love that you won't let it help you, help us?//
The realization dawned in Doyle's mind first. //The spell that you two used to bring me back, that's what you're talking about.//
//Duh. Yes. Each one of us can call upon all the powers of any of us. I haven't seen much in the way of calling going on around here, have you, Doyle? Lots of whining and self-pity, yeah, I'm seeing plenty of that.//
Moving slightly back from Angel, Cordelia put an arm across her forehead and mimicked a tragedy queen. //'Oh, woe is me, I have been made so weak by love. First I loved one mortal, now I have two helpless mortals to take care of and worry about, oh dear oh dear, how can I ever cope?//
Her arms dropped to her sides and she glared, first at Angel, then at Doyle. //Wakeup call, guys. If I read that spell right, we don't even have to be mortal any more. We don't have to be anything we don't want to be. Any one of us can have all the power of all of us, hello? Are we paying attention here? Why are we acting like we're weaker than before, when we ought to be stronger than ever?//
Doyle nodded thoughtfully. //Angel, I think she's on the right track, here. You listenin', man?//
Slowly, his mind still blocked from theirs, Angel reached out to touch Cordelia. One finger traced the line of her cheek gently, then moved to stroke a lock of her hair. She stared at him, still angry and crossed her arms in stubborn defiance, as he turned his fingers softly in her hair and brought it to his lips.
//Open your mind to us, Angel, you're startin' to scare us,// Doyle sent.
//Cordelia,// Angel thought. //You've always had a remarkable gift for noticing the obvious. Even when nobody else does.//
//Gee. Thanks, I think,// she shot back.
//Do you know yet what it is that I'm really scared about, Cordelia? Do you understand?//
//You don't want us to get hurt or get evil. But we're not going to get hurt and we're not going to get evil, so get over it.//
He laughed without humor, shaking his head. //Get over it? I've been around for a long time and whatever I touch, whatever I love, it always turns to darkness. What did I create? Penn. Drusilla. And then, through Drusilla, Spike. That's what I create. I infect people with what I am, I make them crazy and I make them killers. And I don't want to do that again. Not with you.//
//News flash, brood-boy.// Relaxing her stance, Cordelia reached out one hand to caress Angel's lips, where he was still playing with a lock of her hair. //You're not creating me. If you see something in me you don't like, guess what, you didn't put it there. I already know exactly who and exactly what, I am.//
//'Delia... //
//No, Doyle, don't try to stop me here. You think because one of you has a demon with pointy teeth and the other has a demon with pointy spines, that somehow that makes me better than you? Or more human? Just because my demon is a beauty queen, guys, that doesn't make my demon better than your demon. Because the pointy part of my demon is, she likes to hurt people. She really likes it. A lot. And, y'know what? She's one whole helluva lot more truly me than Angelus is Angel, 'cause I never lost my soul.//
//No,// Doyle interrupted and Cordelia turned toward him.
//Yes. Why do you think this works, the three of us? Why do you think the spell worked? Why do you think I still have the visions, too, even now that you're back? Why aren't the powers through with me yet? Don't you two understand yet that I'm just like you?//
//You're not like us, Cordelia,// Angel denied quickly and Doyle added, //You're human. One hundred per cent human.//
//And you think that means I don't have plenty of evil inside of me? Boy, you two sure have a lot left to learn.//
Swiftly, brutally, she opened her emotions to both of them, pouring out such a mixture of rage and love that both Angel and Doyle gasped. //This is me, guys, take a look. I love you both so much I can hardly stand it and it hurts me that you still don't know me. You're still afraid of making me too much like you. But I'm already just like you. And you're already just like me. You just can't stand the truth, is all. But I'm not going to let you get hurt because of it. Do you hear me?//
She turned toward Doyle, her eyes beginning to fill with tears but as she did, she caught Angel's hand, entwining her fingers in his.
//Doyle, I lost you once. I won't ever let that happen again. Do you think what we have is about being weak? Do you really think that we're less than we were, now that we're together?//
He met her eyes and shook his head slowly, smiling. //No way, darlin'. Thanks to you, we're so much more.//
//Yeah. You're starting to see it now. You're starting to see us now. Oh God, I love you so much, are you scared yet?//
//My darlin' Delia,// and Doyle came forward to hold her. //It wouldn't matter if I was scared enough to wet m'self, I'd still love you. Can I owe you more than my life? 'Cause if there's more, I owe you that, too.//
She stared at him for a long moment and then gave him the smile that he had fallen in love with, many months ago.
//Thank you,// she thought. //Just... for being you. Thank you.//
Angel finally broke his long silence, as he wrapped his arms around them both. //Why did it take Penn to show us something like this?//
//It's not about Penn, Angel,// Doyle thought back. //Not any more.//
//Do you two see? Really see?// Cordelia thought urgently. //Not just to fight Penn – that's the start of it – but only the start.//
//I see something more beautiful than I've ever seen before,// Angel responded, //Beautiful on the inside, not just the outside. I never really understand how strong you are, Cordelia and you just keep surprising me. I see the future and the future is you.//
//Us,// Cordelia corrected. //Not just me. Us. The three of us, being, you know, all that we can be?//
//One for all and all for one, eh?// Doyle joked.
//More than that. We are one,// Angel corrected. //I'm finally starting to figure that out.//
//It's about time,// Cordelia huffed at him, flashing her brilliant smile and kissed him.
//I figured out something else, too. Better late than never.//
//And what's that?// Doyle asked.
Angel answered. //That I always thought love was the opposite of power. I always thought love was about giving up and giving in but it isn't. At least, not always.//
Cordelia caressed his face, grinning. //Go on, don't stop now.//
Angel laughed, hugging both of them. //Well, sometimes there can be some giving in, especially where shopping is concerned. But mostly, it's about having something worth fighting for. It's about having a reason to fight and a reason to win.//
//And a reason to be alive,// Doyle added quietly.
//That's what it's all about,// Cordelia agreed.
//And whatever Penn does,// Angel thought to both of them. //We'll be ready for him, the three of us, together.//
The End
