Title: Oops
Author: Jae Kayelle
Feedback: writetosell@sasktel.net
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Sparrington. Secondary Will/Elizabeth.
Disclaimer: Disney's. Bruckheimer's. No profits made from this work of fiction.
Summary: Embarrassment is in the eye of the beholder.
Note: This is the third fic of a trilogy. Follows One Condition and And More.


One Condition
by Jae Kayelle

* * *

"Luv?"

"What?"

"I think I might...ahhh... have ah uhh gotten a splinter."

"Is it life threat...ohhgod... threatening?"

"No. Don't stop! Dear lord. Whatever ye do...don't s-stop!"

James hadn't even slowed in his frenzy so he merely continued to bugger Jack against the butcher's block in the middle of the kitchen. For his part Jack grinned blissfully and continued to grip the large wooden slab with one hand and pump his cock with the other. He jerked his hips back and forth, working his ass on Jamie's shaft with well-timed wriggles and jerks, pleased at his ability to carry out more than one task at a time. He was, however, rapidly losing coherency of thought and, judging by the moans and pants coming from behind him, Jamie had also misplaced all sense and reason; as it should be.

Jack wiggled again drawing a loud curse from his lover.


* * *


"I have a bad feeling about this, Elizabeth. Shouldn't we have sent word that we wished to visit before just showing up at his house?" Will dragged his feet while his fiancée firmly gripped his arm and towed him up the path to the Commodore's home.

"Nonsense. James said to visit anytime."

Will really did not want to do this. "I'm certain he was merely being polite. Besides, it is rather early in the day."

"It's long past time when he would have breakfasted, therefore we're not arriving when he would feel compelled to feed us. This is simply a friendly visit on a beautiful morning."

"Friendly towards you, perhaps. He and I have yet to find common ground that does not involve being engaged to you."

"Once you get to know him you'll learn to like him."

"It's not my feelings I'm worried about."

Elizabeth stopped and glared at him. "Do stop obsessing over this imagined disapproval you think he has of you."

"I'm not imagining it. I know he does not like me."

Ignoring that remark she said, "He won't be at the fort today. This is the perfect time to stop by. Oh, look! It's Mrs. Connors, James's housekeeper. What luck!"

Mrs. Connors greeted them both with a bright smile. "Miss Swann. Mister Turner. 'Tis a pleasant day for visitin'. Will you be stayin' for luncheon?"

"That's up to the Commodore," Will started to say as Elizabeth overrode him by saying, "Yes, we'd love to."

"Commodore Norrington always gives his staff Friday evenin' and Saturday mornin' off, so I haven't spoken to him yet. But I'm sure he'll be pleased to see you both," Mrs. Connors assured Will.

"Oh. Good," he replied with little enthusiasm.

"I'll just let you in the front door. The Commodore wouldn't be pleased to have you enter through the staff entrance."

"Nonsense!" Elizabeth said. "James won't mind. Besides, I would love to see his garden. The fruit trees must be in full bloom."

"Oh, aye. The fragrance is pure heaven." She chatted amiably with Elizabeth as they walked around the side of the house, Will trailing behind with nearly toe-scuffing reluctance.


* * *


"More, luv! Give it t'me! Harder! HARDER!"

James complied with a frenetic thrusting that nearly sent Jack sprawling over the top of the block if not for his bruising grasp of Jack's hips.

"jackjackjack," he chanted in time to their rhythm and then promptly lost it as their movements grew wilder and Jack spasmed around him. He emptied his seed into Jack, and Jack shuddered his completion, spilling all over his own hand. He sagged, eyes shut, over the block, legs shaking so badly he thought he would slip to the floor. Then James gathered him into his arms, supporting him while bracing them both against the sturdy wooden table. Jamie buried his face in the mass of braids and dreadlocks over Jack's neck and they simply breathed together.

It was the tiniest squeak that alerted them to the fact that they were no longer alone.

Jack opened his eyes and grinned languidly. "Elizabeth! William! Lovely to see ye both!"

Jamie's arms stiffened around his waist and there was a distinct but quiet, "Bloody hell!" muttered in his ear.

The three people standing in the kitchen doorway gaped. Mrs. Connors spun around to face the way they'd entered the house, covering her eyes. Belatedly, Elizabeth also turned away but kept sneaking looks. Will merely stared outright with wide eyes. Jack was prepared to wager he was the one who had squeaked.

"Commodore, far be it for me to tell you what to do but if you...sullied the butcher's block I won't be the one cleanin' it off." The horror in the housekeeper's voice was tangible and Will suddenly found the hinges on the door behind them fascinating.

James tugged on Jack's arm as he backed out of the kitchen.

"Yes. Well. We'll just be going... uh, upstairs, um, to the bed...never mind. We'll... just... go." He dragged Jack with him, taking care to keep Jack between himself and their unexpected audience. They made it out of the room without further incident, but Jack being Jack was bedevilled and broke free of his lover's grip, sauntering back into the kitchen in all his glory, totally unfazed by the reactions they had received.

The trio got another eyeful as he trotted back in.

"Sorry about that, luvs. We got carried away."

"Lost track of time!" was shouted from the vicinity of the staircase, slightly muffled as James pounded up the steps two or possibly three at a time.

"Right. We lost track of time," he offered apologetically.

Elizabeth had her eyes covered; the picture of decorum if one did not take into account the fact that she was peering through her fingers. Mrs. Connors apparently decided the garden needed tending and hurried outside. Will closed his eyes and leaned against the block then jerked upright and moved far away from it.

"Jack," he whispered. "Clothes?"

"Clothes?" Jack repeated.

From upstairs they heard James thunder, "Jack! Clothes!"

"Ah!" Jack tapped his chin in understanding. "Clothes. Be right back, luvs."


* * *


Although fully dressed, James did not want to return to the kitchen. "I cannot live in my bedroom for the rest of my life. I suppose I shall have to show my face at some point."

"Tweren't yer face that they were lookin' at, luv."

"Thank you, Jack. I had forgotten."

Overlooking the sarcasm, Jack sidled in close, cupped his face with gentle hands and kissed him. The tension in his lover slowly dissipated under his careful ministrations. Gradually James opened up and kissed him back. When they surfaced he leaned his forehead against Jack's and sighed.

"Shall we?"

"Come along, luv. Let ol' Jack protect you from the wrath of women."

Following him out, James commented, "I rather think it's mainly Mrs. Connor I have to worry about. She'll likely quit now and I do enjoy her cooking."

"Let me sweet talk her. I'll have her begging to stay on."

"Oh, please don't. I'll end up with no one willing to keep house for me."

"Did ye take notice of Elizabeth's reaction?"

A smile finally crept around James's mouth. "She seemed the least disturbed of all of them."

"Aye. Missy is going to be a handful for young Will."

An outright snort escaped James as they slowly descended to the main floor. "Master Turner was an interesting shade of scarlet."

"Poor lad. I'll have to have a fatherly talk with him. Could be no one has ever explained life's facts to him. Bootstrap joined Davy Jones before Will was old enough."

"We are hardly an example of the usual speech a young man receives from his father."

"An' that's why he needs to hear it from me."

"I fail to understand your reasoning but you know him better than I do."

At last they arrived at the bottom of the stairs. When James faltered Jack patted him on the hand reassuringly.

"I'll just go have a look in the kitchen."

James nodded, his features doing that stoic thing they did when he was holding back his true feelings. Jack's first instinct was to look upon it as a challenge to tease him out of his stuffiness, but he knew his lover was mortified and he sought to make him feel better about the situation. So, he patted his hand again and flitted off towards the scene of their crime.

He returned momentarily. "They're gone, love. Come and look."

James followed but dragged his feet in a most un-Commodore-like manner. A long breath blew out between his lips when he saw that, indeed, they were once again alone. Jack snuggled up against the side of the taller man and draped James's arm around his shoulders. James got the hint and pulled him closer. Resting his chin on top of Jack's head he accepted the comfort that was offered.

"Perhaps we can start anew with them. We might even salvage the friendship."

Jack's fingers, always with a mind of their own, got busy reacquainting themselves with his lover's body. They delved into the carefully buttoned shirt by unbuttoning it, and slid over skin that he had already grown to appreciate and love after less than a day. James squirmed under Jack's inquisitiveness but made no move to stop him. Instead he fell victim to his feelings for the wily pirate and bent his head to attack Jack's mouth.

They did battle not as Navy versus pirate, but as two men caught up in shared lust for one another. Soon their clothing was in equal disarray, shirts half off, breeches undone and a lot of skin on display. Jack's hand was down James's front working the thickening flesh he found there. James clutched at Jack, gripping arm and shoulder as they wrestled and danced and wholly enjoyed one another. He fell back against the butcher's block and Jack fell on top of him, struggling to climb up his body, aching to have James inside him again.

Then they heard another strangled squeak.

They froze.

James resolutely kept his gaze fixed on Jack.

"Will?" Jack asked.

"Yes, Jack?"

"Are ye alone, lad?"

"He most certainly is not!"

James found his voice although it was nearly as mousy as Will's. "Mrs, Connors. I. Uh. P-please. We..." he stopped talking, perhaps sensing his explanations were not wanted.

"Really, you two." The mock scolding tone came unmistakably from Elizabeth. "Can you not wait until we leave?"

James's green eyes were wide with terror until Jack silently mouthed, "She likes it."

They both began to laugh, still caught up in their passion more than acknowledging the reactions of their friends. They heard a pointed "Hmmph," from Mrs. Connors and a muffled giggle from Elizabeth.

Will sounded more confident when he said, "Let us go, ladies. Give them some privacy. I'll treat you both to lunch in town."

"A lovely gesture but you cannot afford it, Will. We'll go to my house. Mrs. Connors, I insist that you accompany us. I'm certain your kitchen will be sparkling clean when you return tomorrow to fix the Commodore's morning meal. The rest of today off with salary should be adequate compensation for your trauma."

Jack waited a moment and then another before chancing a look over his shoulder. James still refused to look anywhere but at him.

"We're alone. For real this time, I'll wager."

James tipped his head back and sighed heartily. "I shall never live this down."

"Blame me," Jack told him. "They'll believe that a pirate seduced ye."

"Anyone who knows me would not believe that."

"Aye," Jack agreed. "An' ye did do the seducin' last night."

Looking mildly affronted, James stared him down.

"Get your clothes off," he ordered in his sternest commanding voice. At Jack's raised eyebrow he kissed him and said, "Any good soldier knows to take tactical advantage of a situation."

"Aye, Commodore. I'm yers to command."

"Since when?" James asked, swiping Jack's neck with his tongue in a most beguiling manner.

"Since last night." Jack thought that over and added, "But only durin' sex. And as long as I can do the same to ye now and then."

"Agreed."

Jack slid off him, stripped in record time, helped James out of his clothes, shoved him back onto the block and straddled him at the waist. He began to lower himself onto James's eager cock, anticipating the slow burn of having it impale him.

"James? Oh my god!"

They both looked up to see Theodore Groves standing just inside the doorway, mouth opening and closing like a landed fish.

"Oh for the love of..." James sighed in exasperation. "Teddy, please lock the door on your way out. I'll speak to you tomorrow."

"Yes, sir!"

"And Teddy?"

"Y-yes?"

"Do not under any circumstances..."

"Not a soul, James. My word on it."

"Thank you. Goodbye, Teddy."

"Good day, James. Um, Captain Sparrow."

"Nice to see ye again, lad," Jack said cheerfully.

The door closed with a loud click.

"Shall we take this upstairs?" James asked.

"Yer wish is my command, luv." Jack batted his eyelashes. Then he climbed down, slapped James on the hip and took off at a lope for the stairs. James caught him before he reached the second step, grabbing him around the waist and slinging him over his shoulder.

"Isn't this how it all began?" Jack mused.

"Hush."

"Hushing, luv."

They weren't interrupted again.

end


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