April 3, 2000
Dear J:
Man, I am like so not wanting to go home tonight. Jim wants to start taking things slow and I am like supercharged. I want him bad. I think he wants me the same way but he is so careful. I hate that about him. He can be such a pain in the ass sometimes. (Actually I wish he was a big pain in my ass right now.) And speaking of ass, God, he has a nice one, and man what I want to do with it. :) Geez, Sandburg, get a grip. Oh oh, my mind is going in the wrong direction again, all I see if me gripping Jim. Oh yeah, this is going to be soooooo good, once we ever start. Okay first thing, it is Jim's turn to cook tonight, so take my time, go slow. If I play my cards right, he will be pissed off cuz I am late and get angry and start pushing me around and it will get out of hand. There I go again, J. See, it is a lost cause. :( I am never going to be able to do this slow. Never. Give me patience. I will just go into my room each night and write to you. Instead of trying to pounce on Jim, I will be typing away. Smiling, smiling, smiling. He will think I am fine with things, hell he doesn't have a clue as to what I'll be writing in here. :) He wants slow, I will show him slow. Haha.
Okay, the academy is going great, I really am doing quite well. I know that Simon will be really proud of me. Why does that mean so much to me? Maybe I look at Simon like a dad or something, you suppose? I don't want to say that to Simon unless he is dead. I really do like him a lot. He is a good friend. I need to call him this weekend and ask if Daryl and he would like to come over for dinner. Yeah, I haven't seen Daryl in a while. I miss him. I love his kid. J, do you find that odd that I adore his child? He is one of the finest teens I have ever met. Actually he was younger than a teen when we first met. But you know what I mean. I wonder sometimes if I ever would have made a good dad. I think I might have. But being in love with Jim, would probably make that a little hard. Haha.
Guess who I ran into today, literally? Megan. I was running to the car after classes and just smacked right into her. She was so glad to see me. She asked if we could get together some night this week, she wanted to talk to me. I wonder what that is about. Maybe she has some problems with Jim. I hope not. She has been helping with his senses since I started at the academy. I really miss seeing everyone in the bullpen. And I don't hear about too many cases cuz I have been working on my own things for the classes. I need to ask Jim about some things. Maybe something is going on that he wants to discuss with me. We will see. Can't wait to get back to MC. They are all like a big family. A nice family at that.
Okay, it is almost time to go home, so I guess I better do my poem for today. Well, lets see, since I have to go slow with Jim, I can speed it up in the poems, how does that sound? Oh yeah, I love this Journal idea more and more.
He is big.
He is strong.
He is mine.
Don't get that wrong.
He is nice on the eyes.
He is even nicer to touch.
I want to run my hands all over.
I want to fuck him so much.
He is gentle.
Touching him is my best idea yet.
Oh yeah, we can start with blow jobs.
Dear Journal, this is working, I am warm for his form.
He is kind.
And he loves me.
Must be my mind.
And where I touch him will make him scream.
I will lick him, suck him, I will fondle like mad.
And I won't be happy till I have his cream. :)
I think he will be mighty impressed.
Now I just need to think of more ways.
To get this gorgeous man undressed.
Look at the things I am writing, when will it stop?
Hopefully, not too soon, good ideas all.
And I want to sometimes be on top.
BS