Jim called the loft to see if Blair was home yet, and the answering machine picked up with a new message. In Blair's voice, it said:

"This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."

That night, Jim asked Blair to please replace it with one that would be acceptable to both of them. And Blair promised that he would. Jim missed the devilish look on his face when he said that. Off Blair went to his room to work on some new ones. He told Jim not to listen.

The next morning, Jim forgot all about the message, he was late for work. They went into the precinct. Later that day, he called the loft to leave a message for Blair that he was going out with H and Rafe. And he noticed that the message was different again, this time it said:

"Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up."

Now, Jim was getting pissed off. What they needed was a plain simple message that everyone wouldn't mind listening to. Not some silly one that tried to be funny. He was going to have a talk with Blair about this. He left his message and told Blair to change that darn thing before he got home.

Jim had a few too many beers, so he decided to call Blair for a ride home and got the answering machine. Yes, there was a new message on it, and this one didn't make him any happier. This is what he had to listen to now:

"Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."

When Jim started yelling into the telephone, Blair picked up and told him to calm down. He told Jim he would be there in a few minutes to pick him up and hung up.

Jim was waiting impatiently and was getting madder by the moment. He could not believe it was taking Blair this long to get ten minutes from the loft. So he put thirty-five cents into the phone again and dialed their number. This is what he heard:

"If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message. Why don't you just come over and see which one it is."

He could not believe this one. This was the weirdest thing Blair had ever done. You just didn't talk about cleaning guns on a message for the telephone. He was going to have to do this, he knew that now. He would not leave it up to Blair any longer.

Blair was acting like a fucking flake. What was up with him?

When Blair walked in, he didn't say a word about the message, just walked out to Blair's car and got in. He was really quiet. At last Blair turned to him and said, "Jim, I changed the message, I know you hated that last one. I think you will love this new one."

Jim smiled at him and answered, "Whatever, Sandburg."

When Jim got up the following morning, he hurriedly made up a new message. It was short, simple and to the point:

"Hi, Ellison and Sandburg aren't here. Leave a message and we will call you back."

Now, Jim felt better about it. He hated to think of what Blair would put on it the next time. God only knew. He didn't say a word to Blair about the message, when he got up.

What Jim didn't know was, while he was in the shower, Blair listened to the message, cracked up and put a new one on it. And could not wait for the big man to strangle him. Yep, he was pushing Jim to his limits, hoping he would do something. Anything.

Brown walked into the bullpen asking, "Jim where the hell is Sandburg? Wherever he is, my partner is with him. They were checking out those leads -- and I now need Rafe to follow some leads on a case we are working on."

Jim said, "Calm down, H, I can call and reach them, they were going to use that program on the computer at the loft. We will catch them there and tell them to get the lead out."

Jim waited as the phone rang and the answering machine picked up. He sat with his mouth open when he heard Blair's voice on the machine saying:

"Hi! Jim's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."

He hung up the phone and made Henri listen the second time he called. And Henri laughed his ass off. This pissed Jim off more. God, what was with these people? They think they have to be funny for a stupid message? At least Brown got to talk to Rafe, and told him to get the show on the road.

Jim was driving home that night and he told Blair that the messages had to stop. They were pissing him off. Blair smiled and said, "Fine, big guy, I won't have any fun anymore. You are such a downer. If boring was a state, you would be Texas."

The next morning, he got up and Blair was already gone, and Jim decided he would go ahead and record the message. On the machine, Blair had pasted a message that said: "listen to me first." Jim pushed play. And Blair was speaking in a very sexy voice:

I am a machine, I am so all alone.
Cuz Blair is fucking Jim, giving him his bone.
So if you want us to call, you will have to wait.
Because it took forever to get him on this date.
Now go away, or leave them a message at the beep.
They were very busy, and now need their sleep.

Well, Jim couldn't contain his laughter any longer. Even he had to admit, that was a riot. Now he just needed to get something else on there before someone else heard it. He headed into the shower as he was still laughing.

Jim relaxed under the pounding spray of water, and wondered if Blair had feelings for him, or he was just teasing. Because he had feelings for Blair. Just not the nerve to do anything about it.

As he came out with a towel around his waist, Blair walked in the front door. "Very funny Sandburg," he said, "now let's change it before anyone hears it but us."

Blair said, "I'll do it, just give me a second to come up with something better."

"Blair?" asked Jim. "Why did you do that?"

Blair swallowed hard, and said, "Because, Big Guy, I've been in love with you for the last four years, and I got tired of waiting around. I figured one of us had to make a move."

So Jim made a move. He pulled Blair into his arms and kissed him. Blair was taken off guard, but didn't resist. Jim asked Blair to join him upstairs. He proceeded to take Blair's clothes off very slowly. He was so damn grateful that Blair had made the first move. He loved the feeling of Blair's skin on his own. He loved this man so much. He could not believe that he was in bed with him after all this time.

"Chief, I need to know that this won't be a one time thing with you. You mean too much to me. Our relationship is too important."

Blair just smiled as he said, "Jim, you are mine, no one else's. I don't expect any less from me for you. You don't have to worry about me."

The next thing on the agenda was finding the supplies that they would need for good loving. Blair had lube and Jim had plenty of condoms. Now all that was left was question time.

"Blair, have you ever been with a guy before?" Jim asked, a pink blush on his cheeks.

Blair smiled at how cute that looked on him as he answered, "Yes, I've been with a guy before, not anal sex, but I have had it with women, how different could it be?"

Jim said, "Well, it would be a lot different for me."

Blair cracked up. They need this to loosen up and relax.

Blair was having the time of his life feeling every part of his new lover. (Oh God, now he was quoting lines from Dirty Dancing.) Jim was so strong, solid and very, very hard.

They took turns just kissing each other's bodies. This was feeling so good.

While they were fucking each other senseless, the phone rang. Neither of them were thinking at that point, didn't want to, when all of a sudden they heard Blair's message, and then they heard Simon's voice. "All right, one of you two, answer this damn phone right now and explain to me what is going on."

Jim and Blair started laughing so hard that they could hardly breathe. They chose to ignore it and call Simon back later. They weren't going to stop this now. Just when it was getting so good. They could just tell him it was a joke. One that wouldn't be that funny to Simon.

Later, Jim sat down by the phone and started recording this message:

I am a machine, so don't ask me where they are.
Last I saw them, they were fucking three times so far.
Is your message so important, you have to intrude?
Because they are totally happy during this interlude.
Leave a message, and they will call when they are all done.
But don't hold your breath, because they are having fun.

Blair, was listening and watching from the doorway, with a huge smile on his face.

They both knew that they couldn't leave that on there. They also knew that Simon would be calling soon and they wanted to totally freak the poor man out. Oh, this was going to be fun.

Jim turned to Blair at that moment and said, "Thanks for the messages. I needed them. I love you."

Blair replied, "Jim for you I would have done this for another four years. I am crazy for you. I love you, too."

Now Big Man, how long are we going to tease Simon before we tell him the truth?