Simon sat with his mouth hanging open. He was in shock. What he had heard on Jim and Blair's answering machine had to be a joke. It just had to be. What he'd heard on Jim's phone last night had knocked him for a loop, and the words just kept replaying in his mind.

I am a machine, I am so all alone.
Cuz Blair is fucking Jim, giving him his bone.
So if you want us to call, you will have to wait.
Because it took forever to get them on this date.
Now go away, or leave them a message at the beep.
They were very busy, and now need their sleep.

If he could just get that out of his head, he'd have it made. But no matter what, it was there, still teasing his brain. Now, if he only knew whether or not they were joking. Surely they wouldn't put something like that on their answering machine on purpose. Right?

He waited, but still no call from Jim or Blair, so he called them back. This time was more of a shock then the first time. This time, it was Jim's voice talking and this is what it said:

I am a machine, so don't ask me where they are.
Last I saw them, they were fucking three times so far.
Is your message so important, you have to intrude?
Because they are having fun during this interlude.
Leave a message, and they will call when they are all done.
But don't hold your breath, because they are having fun.

Simon was thinking that a conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking. This in itself was scary. He was very tired of thinking at this point. Needed to talk to them both, he left a message at the end and waited for them to call.

Knowing that Blair and Jim were off for three days, he had that time to try and figure this out. But he was going to need help. Thankfully, he taped the recordings, so he could play it for Conner, Brown, Rafe and Joel. He would get their opinions.

This was going to backfire on Jim and Blair, and Simon wished he could see their faces when it happened.

When Simon got to the bullpen, he called everyone into his office. He had the tapes, so that he could play them for everyone, and then they could plan from there.

Simon told Rafe, Brown, Joel, Conner and Rhonda, "Now, this is going to shock you all, but they are pulling our legs and we are going to have the last laugh. So, don't worry. Hear me out first."

He popped the tape in the machine and they all just sat there with their mouths hanging open. Simon laughed and said, "This is going to be great. This is what I have in mind. We are going to make tapes up for our phones, and have Jim and Blair call us and they won't know who is sleeping with whom. But the whole time we will be laughing our Asses off."

Megan looked at her Captain and said, "But Captain, what if it is true, what if they were playing a joke on each other and didn't expect the phone call from you? They might be embarrassed now. Not know what to say and all."

Simon glared at her. "Do you really think that we would not know about this if it was going on under our noses? I mean we are Detectives, now let's do some work."

Joel smiled and said, "So what is on the agenda for me? And who am I going to be with? I like this idea, Simon, it'll be a lot of fun. I have one suggestion though. It won't work if we all do answering machine tapes. Some of us are going to have to do something else. Like play around here at the bullpen where Jim and Blair can see or overhear what they aren't supposed to."

Megan jumped up and called out, "I want to be with Joel. They would never expect that. Actually they would never expect any of us. But I wish to be with Joel, Captain. May I?"

Simon said, "So be it. Joel and Conner are now a couple. You have to help each other make a tape for each home. And when you are done, you have to let us hear so we won't be shocked if we happen to call it. Unless you go with Joel's idea, to do something here. And if that is the case, let us know so we will look surprised. Any ideas Joel? "

Joel said, "Conner and I will work on things tonight and see where it takes us." Everyone started laughing and he said, "Keep your minds out of the gutter."

Henry said, "Captain, could I be partnered with Rhonda? I think we could make it work." Every one in the room started laughing.

Simon was thinking what great fun this was going to be. "Okay, Brown, you go ahead and be paired off with Rhonda. But make sure and let us know if you're doing a tape or just something around the bullpen."

He turned to Rafe and said, "Okay Rafe, it is you and me. Do you want to start on a poem for the tape machine now, or later. We have to finish all this up in the next three days. We sure don't want it backfiring on us."

Rafe just sat there in shock. He never expected to be paired with Simon. "Captain, I don't know anything about poetry for answering machines. I think you would be better off with someone that did."

Simon smiled as he said, "Rafe, don't worry about it, we will work on it and come up with something totally brilliant."

All day long, they all went around the bullpen doing their jobs, but kept going into an interrogation room to start work on the poems for the tapes and going over ideas of pranks to play in the bullpen. Time was going by too quickly.

Rafe came into Simon's office and asked, "Do you want to stay late and work on it tonight? I figured that way we could get a head start on everyone else. They seem to be stumped."

Simon smiled and answered, "Sounds good to me. Let's go ahead and start right now."

"Okay," said Rafe, "where do we start? Any idea's, Captain?"

Simon looked over and calmly told Rafe, "First of all, call me Simon. They aren't going to buy this if you call me Captain. I think we should get a tape going right now. In fact, I had this idea. We could make a tape of us doing the deed and have Brown play it in the locker room for Megan when Jim and Blair come in on Monday. He can say he had a tape hiding in the room and didn't think he would catch us doing this. What do you think of that?"

Rafe was a nervous wreck as he said, "Hell, I don't have a clue as to what I should do or say. Do you? I mean, we want this to sound like it is not rehearsed. Right?"

Simon went over to the table turned the tape on and walked towards Rafe and said, "Brian, everyone is gone, the blinds are down, the door is locked, we are safe. Come here." Then Simon had to motion for Rafe to come over to his side, and the whole time Rafe was beet red.

Rafe quietly said, "Simon, I've been wanting to do this for a very long time." And he suddenly pulled his hand up and started kissing it loudly. Simon had to bite his lip to keep from laughing his ass off. Then they both started making more kissing noises and lots of moans and groans.

Still smiling, Simon said, "May I take your clothes off, Brian? I'm dying to see your body. You keep it all covered up, but I just know it's perfect. I can't wait any longer. I'm so hot right now just thinking about us being together."

Then Simon motioned for Rafe to take his clothes off, or at least to pretend to. There were zipper noises, buttons being undone, and skin being rubbed and more. And still more moaning. They were smiling like crazy, having entirely too much fun.

Simon whispered, "Brian, I think I'm in love with you. Do you think that you could be with just me? I can't have a one-night stand. That would hurt too much. What do you think?"

Rafe, still smiling, answered, "I think that would be great. I've wanted you forever, so this will be perfect."

They continued with more kissing noises, and then harder breathing, bumping up against the table back and forth, back and forth. The whole time they were on the verge of laughter, but they kept their cool and got down to business.

Suddenly Rafe said, "Simon, I can't hold on anymore. I want you inside of me, now. Please. Here is a condom. Do you have any lube?"

Simon smiled back as he said, "Yeah, I have some in my drawer here. Okay, relax, Brian, this is going to be soooooo good. Don't be so nervous. It will be great. I love you."

There were more loving noises, with Simon and Rafe putting their fingers in their mouths for the sound effects. They also tore open a condom package while trying to not laugh. Then, Simon started making noises that let everyone know that he was near completion. Rafe was having a quite the time keeping his laughter under control.

Simon said, "Come for me Brian, come for me now. I am soooooo close I can hardly think."

Rafe screamed out, "Simon." And then Simon screamed out, "Brian."

Then they did some sweet-talking, as they pretended to be cleaning up and getting dressed again.

Simon walked over and shut the tape off. And both of them fell on the floor laughing, they couldn't contain it any longer.

Simon said, "We're done for now. Brown can do his job on Monday and let everyone hear it in the locker room. Well, not everyone, just Blair and Jim. And of course, Megan and Joel must hear, too. Otherwise, Jim and Blair will know right away that it is a set up."

Rafe laughed and said, "Brown said he has his story lined up already. He wanted to see what I was getting yelled at about, so he put a tape machine in your office to eavesdrop. Just my overly worried partner looking out for me."

Simon started laughing all over again as he choked out, "This is going to be so damn good."

Joel and Megan went out to dinner to discuss the plans for their scheme. Joel decided that he wouldn't be able to stand there with Megan and keep a straight face. So, she said, "I have a great idea, Joel. This will be our answer."

Joel smiled and said, "I'm sure it is a great idea. You have an evil mind, Megan."

Megan agreed as she went on, "You ask the boys over Monday night for dinner, get them there at all costs. And then, when the phone rings, you tell them you don't want to answer it. Try to pretend that you don't notice that I'm on the answering machine. I pretend I'm crying and beg you to pick up. We have to talk about this decision that you made on your own. I tell you that I can't live with that decision."

Joel perked up, "Then I can yank the phone up before they have a chance to hear what you say. You and I can have a discussion about why we don't want to have a baby right now. Oh, I can see their faces now."

Megan was totally in the game now as she said, "Oh Joel, that is perfect. We don't have to say anything out loud, they can do it all in their minds. You're right, it is perfect. Set it up for Monday night. Then call me right before they get there, so I know when to call."

As they sat down to watch the game, they both had shit eating grins on their faces. Oh, this was definitely going to be good.

In another area of town, Henry was making plans with Rhonda. They decided to just find a closet in the bullpen when Jim and Blair were close and then pretend to go to town. And then when the door opens, they'd act all embarrassed.

"Do you think this will work?" Rhonda asked. She was scared to death to do this; she had feelings for Henry and didn't want him to find out.

Henry smiled at her and said, "It will work, trust me." He was a little concerned about how long he had to stay in the closet with her, because he was very attracted to her and didn't want to do anything that would make things bad for their friendship the following day.

So, they sat down and watched the remainder of the game on television, content that they were going to get Jim and Blair good.

Jim asked Blair, "Babe, do you know if Simon called back? I mean, he called and heard the message, but didn't say anything more after that. Do you mind if I call and tell him it was a joke?"

Blair looked at Jim sadly as he answered, "Sure Jim, it's fine with me."

When they went to bed that night, the lovemaking was very quiet and calm. None of that crazed stuff from the past two nights. Jim wanted to show Blair how much he loved him, not just by jumping his bones. They hated getting up on Monday morning. Jim failed to notice how quiet Blair had become. Something was bothering his guide, but Sentinels don't always know what's going on.

First thing before they left for work, Jim called Simon and asked him how he liked the tape. Smiling, wickedly, he said, "Simon, it was a joke, you know that, right?"

In the background, Blair had this look of sadness on his face. As Jim turned around he saw that look for one quick moment, enough to break his heart. Jim knew then what was wrong the night before. 'Blair thinks I'm embarrassed of him.' Jim thought to himself.

He walked over to Blair and said, "You do know that I love you, right? I just don't think coming out at the station is a good idea right now. Plus Simon would separate us. You don't want that do you, Blair?"

Blair smiled, still with the sad look, as he answered, "Of course I don't want him to separate us. I'm in love with you. And I love being your partner, too. So, we'll keep things the way they are."

Jim hugged him as he said, "I love you."

Just then the phone rang and Blair answered, "Sandburg. Hi, Joel. I don't know, let me ask him. Hey Jim, Joel wants to know if we want to have dinner at his house tonight to pay us back for the help in moving all the furniture around last weekend."

Jim said, "Sure, tell him we would love it. See what time and all that."

Blair finished, "Joel, Jim thinks it would be great. What time do you want us? Can we bring anything?"

Having all that settled, they started to the truck to head into work. Blair was unusually quiet on the trip to the precinct. Jim was concerned that Blair was already unhappy, and they had only just started this relationship. Knowing he was going to have to make this up to Blair later, he tried to keep his mind on the driving.

Once they got to the bullpen, Henry asked Blair and Jim to meet him in the locker room. They went down and there was Joel waiting. They all said good morning to each other and wondered what the hell was going on.

Joel said, "What the hell is going on that was so secretive? I mean, let us in on this."

Jim and Blair agreed in unison, "Yeah, now would be good."

So, Henry smiled and told them about how he wanted to hear what Brian Rafe was getting yelled at about so much in Simon's office. And he had put the tape recorder in there to find out. Henry motioned for them all to sit down and he pushed the play button.

All of a sudden out came the voices of Rafe and Simon. Now Brown and Joel knew what was coming, but Jim and Blair were shocked beyond words.

Blair stood up and said, "Shut that off, right now. Don't give me those looks, this is wrong. We have no right listening to their private life. How dare any of us think we do?"

They all sat there with a guilty look on their faces. Henry handed the tape over to Blair and said he was sorry.

Jim and Blair were still not recovered from this news flash. They never would have guessed this at all.

Simon walked in all smiles, whistling. Everyone looked at him and then at each other and could not help but smile.

Rafe was the next one to come into the bullpen. He was also smiling and whistling. In fact, it was the very same song that Simon has been whistling. Suddenly Blair jumped up and headed to the men's room. Jim followed to see if Blair was all right. When he walked in, Blair was taking the tape out of the cassette ripping it into pieces. It went right into the trash as he ripped.

Blair frowned and said, "I can't believe that we know this and they can't have this privately between themselves. It's just sad."

Jim hugged him hard and asked, "Blair, does this change how you feel about either of them?"

Blair stepped back from him and said, "Of course not, I still feel like they're my friends and nothing would change that." They calmed each other down and headed back to get some work done.

They ended up doing nothing but paperwork all day long. They both hated when it was slow like this. They finished the paper work and then headed to Joel's house for dinner.

They took a bottle of wine and some wonderful bread from the bakery. Joel let them in and the house smelled wonderful. He had made spaghetti and a great salad. They were all hungry.

Joel said, "Okay, guys, sit down, take a load off and let's see about eating us some dinner."

They all sat down and started pouring the wine, buttering the bread and eating the fantastic dinner. It was really good. As they talked about the case they had just finished, the phone rang and Joel smiled as he said, "I'll just let the answering machine get it."

The answering machine tape started playing and then all of a sudden, they all heard Conner's voice crying, "Joel, please pick up, I need to talk to you. I can't do this. I can't go through with it. Please talk to me. We have to make a better decision. Please pick up, Joel."

Joel went to the phone picked it up and started talking to her. Jim looked at Blair and they both had this weird look on their face. Jim tried not to listen, but he couldn't help it. He turned to Blair and said, "I think that Conner is pregnant."

At that moment, Joel hung up the phone and said, "Sorry about that, guys. I have to cut dinner short, I need to discuss some things with Conner. I hope you don't mind."

Jim answered, "Of course not, Joel. It was a great dinner and we were happy to see you. We don't get together much anymore. Is there anything we can help you with? I hope you know that we're your friends."

Joel smiled and said, "Of course I know you're my friends. Thank you for always being here. I might need some advice later on. Right now, I just need to get a few things straight."

As Blair and Jim were heading home, they both were finding it hard to put their thoughts into words.

Jim finally said, "Blair, have you ever thought Joel and Conner had a thing for each other? I mean, I have never noticed anything. Other than the fact that they work a lot together and go to lunch almost every day. What do you think of all this?"

Blair just looked over at him and said, "Hell if I know, Jim. I feel like I am in the Twilight zone. Starting with this morning. That thing with Simon and Rafe just about blew me away. I thought we knew our friends."

That night as they lay in bed, they had many things on their minds. But one of the things was eating at Jim.

He had to ask, "Blair, do you mind if I tell Simon about us tomorrow? I want to tell him and I just need to know that you're okay with it."

Blair smiled and said, "That would be great, man. I would be so happy to have you tell someone. But are you sure this is what you want to do?"

They both decided that it should be something better slept on. And they would see about it in the morning.

On the way to work in the morning they decided to go with it. They were both pretty happy as they walked into the bullpen. As they came down the hallway, they both heard a noise coming from the storage closet and Jim opened the door and there was Henry making it with Rhonda. They both looked up suddenly and Henry said, "Shit." Famous last words, thought Jim.

Jim jumped back and shut the door as fast as he could. He looked at Blair and said, "Come here for a second, I need to talk to you."

They headed off to the Men's Room and shut and locked the door. Making sure there was no one else in there, Jim said, "Okay, Blair, what the fuck is going on? I mean, first it was Simon and Rafe, which I have never pictured together before ever. And then Joel and Megan are an item, why don't we know this? And then, what the shit is going on with Henry fucking Rhonda in the closet at work? I don't know about you, Chief, but I'm totally confused."

Blair stood there thinking and finally said, "Jim, do you suppose that they made this all up because of the damn messages that we put on the answering machine? I mean, it does seem kind of odd. Although, Henry was really fucking Rhonda. So that part is really true, but still odd. I never even knew Henry had a thing for Rhonda. Maybe this is all a big joke, more or less. Maybe Ronda and Henry just got carried away."

Jim said, "I never thought of that, but it would be fun to get them back, don't you think? "

Blair smiled evil wickedly and answered, "So, big man, what are we going to do to get them back?"

Jim said, "How about we out ourselves in front of all of them. And I don't mean just a smile or talking, I mean I kiss you like there is no tomorrow. They will then know that what we have is true and they will be forced to tell us about their set ups."

Blair laughed and added, "All right. We can say, how we accept Simon and Rafe's decision to come out, too. Then turn to Joel and Conner and tell them that we would be glad to help with anything when it comes time for the new baby. We could end it with saying, and Henry when did you fall for Rhonda? You know Jim, this could turn out to be even better than the answering machine message. Let's get out there and get busy."

They went out into the bullpen and everyone seemed really quiet. Simon came walking through and Jim said, "Simon, because of something I heard yesterday I now have enough courage to act on what I have wanted to do for ages with Blair. So, I wanted you all to know that he and I are together. And by the way, Simon, congratulations to you and Rafe. You make a wonderful looking couple."

Everyone just sat there with mouths reaching the floor. And before they had a chance to take their next breath, Blair said, "Megan, please tell us if there is anything we can do to help you and Joel out. Whether it's talking it out with friends, or help with the baby once it comes, we are always here for you. Congratulations to both of you."

Next up, Jim smiled at Brown and said, "Henry, all I have to say to you is be safe, and try to keep your hands to yourself while in the bullpen. And congratulations to you, also."

Everyone started talking at the same time and all of a sudden, Simon yelled, "All right, silence, I am telling you right now. This is a joke that totally backfired. First of all, Rafe and I are not a couple. It was a joke and you both damn well know it. Secondly, same thing goes for Joel and Conner, but as far as Brown goes, I guess he really was acting on something he felt strongly about. I guess you both won this round. You are the true champions."

Everyone started talking at once again and Blair just smiled at Jim. They thought he was joking about them. So, now Blair knew that they didn't have to come out. But just as fast as that thought came to his mind, he saw Jim come close and pull him into his arms, and they were kissing. Blair could hear the silence all of a sudden. So, he knew that everyone was watching. Jim whispered into his ear, "Blair, I love you more than you can ever imagine."

They stepped back from each other and Blair was just beaming. Everyone started asking questions at once. And Simon bellowed, "What the hell is going on? You are a couple? I can't believe this. We did all this for no reason then."

Jim said, "Well, not for nothing, we had a really good time being entertained. And I just wanted to tell you all that you will be automatic losers when you enter the Ellison and Sandburg Zone. Don't even try to tread there."

"Wait a minute, Jim," said Blair, laughing, "how come you get top billing. I think it might be Sandburg Ellison Zone."

Everyone started laughing and they all went about their work. All except for Henry who went and ordered some flowers for Rhonda. He wanted her to know he really did have feelings for her. He, for one, was really glad he entered the Ellison and Sandburg Zone. The water was just fine.