Blair climbed up on the bed and undid the cuffs, suddenly feeling terrible for doing that. Jim just lay there looking at the ceiling. He wasn't talking or moving. Just staring.
Blair got on top of Jim and said, "Jim, please hold me. Please."
Jim moved his arms and found themselves around Blair's body. He started rubbing Blair's back and ass. He was getting hard. God, how he loved this man and no one was going to stop him.
"Blair if I tell you, will you let it drop?"
"Jim, you know I can't do that. Depending on what type of news you tell me, I might have to kick some ass. I don't know yet."
"I've been approached, by some people who work for the Police Commissioner. I've been ordered to stop our living arrangements and any other lifestyle. If not, they'll separate us or out us at work."
Blair looked over at Jim and said, "So?"
"Blair, it isn't that easy. The Commissioner is a best friend with my father and he has threatened to tell my father things. They've been watching, they have pictures of us on the balcony and even from inside the loft. Remember that time in the parking lot when it was empty? Well, it wasn't completely empty it seems. So, the Commissioner set the date up for tonight with his niece, Angela, to see if I was really into men or not. It was like I had something to prove and I swear to you, I couldn't get your face out of my mind the whole time. "
"Jim you don't strike me as a coward, I can't believe you're letting them have this much control. What the fuck were you thinking of? And while I'm on the subject, I'm going to fucking kick your ass for sleeping with her. It's not you thinking of my face I was worried about when you were fucking her."
Blair pulled away from Jim and slugged his face as hard as he could. Jim just lay there and took it. Finally Blair stopped hitting Jim and slid back on top of him.
"Jim, you have to tell me what's going on. What are we going to do? I don't want this to be our life. Sneaking around and not being able to touch each other."
"Blair," Jim said with sadness in his voice, "I can't do this to my dad. It'll kill him. It would be bad enough to find out about us, but to see pictures. Blair, do you know what that would do to him?"
"I don't fucking care, I guess." Blair said and got off of Jim and the bed. He walked over to the window and looked out into the darkness. When had it gotten dark? How long had they been there, Blair wondered? It seemed like they had just gotten there, but they must have been talking for a long time.
Blair walked into the bathroom and took a shower and came out with his clothes on and Jim was still lying on the bed in the same place. Blair walked over and said, "Jim you can go if you want. Do whatever you want. I can't be with someone that is ashamed of himself, me or what we are."
Jim tried to pull Blair into his arms, but Blair shoved him hard into the headboard. "Don't touch me, Jim, you'll never touch me again. Not like this. I'll continue to be your partner, but we'll never be friends again. Not just no more lover, but I can't be a friend with a coward."
"Blair, please don't do this. We need to talk some more. I don't know what to do. But you can't expect me to just let them show those pictures to my dad can you? Sandburg, you have to know enough about family to know that there are certain things that would not be forgiven."
"That's the difference between the two of us, Jim, I don't care what my Mom would say. I could care less. And I wanted to ask you about coming out to our friends, so I wanted everyone to know. I love you, I adore you, and I wanted to be with you forever. At least I did until now. Go and fuck Angela. You seemed to do an okay job of it, since I don't see any pictures around the bullpen."
As Blair walked out the door, Jim just sat there in the dark motel room wondering what to do. He picked up the phone and called his dad and said, "Dad, could I come over, I need to talk to you."
Blair took a bus over to Joel's house and when he walked in, he was a wreck. A total mess. He was so upset, but yet, he wasn't mad. Just broken. Joel pulled Blair into his arms and asked him, "Blair talk to me about what's going on. It might help."
"Joel," Blair said, "I was in love with Jim." After he said that, he went into the spare room and Joel could hear sniffling. Joel knocked on the door and said, "Blair, could I come in?"
"This is your house, man." Blair answered, trying to make it into a joke.
But Joel wasn't having any of it. He put his arm around Blair and pulled him close and said, "Now fill me in on what is going on."
Blair did just that. He started at the beginning and told Joel the entire thing and said, "I don't know what I need to do, but Jim wants to just act like we aren't sleeping together. And I guess he also wants me to share him with women, so that the Commissioner won't worry about the two of us." Then Blair's shoulders started shaking and Joel could hear very soft sobbing and Joel had tears rolling down his face. These two men were two of his closest friends and he was going to help them if it killed them all.
"Blair," Joel said, "I'm going to go to the precinct and talk to Simon. I have to report this, it is past just hassling you and Jim. This is outright harassment. Not to mention blackmail."
"Joel," Blair said, "Jim would just die if this got out. Don't you understand? He is embarrassed of the whole thing. He doesn't want anyone to know."
"Too bad," Joel said, "I'm going to the office now and I'll see you later tonight, unless something comes up. You try to sleep and I'll call if anything happens."
"Simon is going to be so pissed off." Blair said dejectedly, "Everyone will think that it's all my fault. God, Jim will be so embarrassed."
Joel went over to Blair and said, "Tough, he'll get over it. Now go and rest."
Joel walked out the door locking the door and went to his car and headed into the station. He called Simon and asked, "Sir, could you meet me at the office, I have something very important to tell you."
"This had better be good, Taggart," Simon said, "I'm watching a game."
"Sir," Joel said, "You know I wouldn't bother you at home for no reason."
"Okay," Simon said, "I'll be there in about 15 minutes. See you then. Goodbye."
Both men were on their way to the Station. In the meantime Jim arrived at his fathers house and was knocking at the door.
When his dad opened the door, he pulled Jim into a hug and said, "Jimmy, come on in. It's so good to see you. Now tell me what is so important that it makes you look this scared. Did something happen to Stevie?"
"No, Dad." Jim said hurriedly, "Stevie is fine. I had to talk to you and it's not going to be a good father son talk. You'll probably never talk to me again, but I have to tell you ahead of time."
William Ellison sat on the sofa, motioning for Jim to sit and saw the tears in Jim's eyes. He knew that sometime major was going to be talked about, but William really had no clue. And for this reason, he was sad. He should know more about his son than that.
As Jim sat down next to his dad, he said he tried to stay calm but found himself shaking like a leaf. William stood up and said, "Jim, I'm going to get you a stiff drink and then you can tell me your news."
Jim watched his dad mix Jim a drink and Jim realized that in the last six months he had been having dinner with his dad once a month and starting to enjoy his time with him. And now it would all be lost. And his father would not only hate him, but hate Blair too. Jim was so sad; he didn't even know where to begin.
While William was fixing the drink, he was thinking about what it could be. Could it be he got a woman pregnant? No, not his Jim, he wasn't even dating anyone. Hadn't been for ages. William kept asking but Jim kept saying he was too busy. There was only one person that Jim talked about nonstop and that was Blair Sandburg. Smiling at his son, he realized what Jim was going to tell him and William wanted to make it easier on him.
He walked over with the drink, handed it to him and sat next to Jim and didn't say a word for a moment. "Jim, I know about you and Sandburg. And I'm fine with that, son."
Jim just stared at this man that was in his fathers body and wondered where the real William had been taken. Then Jim couldn't help it, he leaned into his dads arms and started softly crying. Jim didn't say anything, just stayed in his dad's arms and William rubbed Jim's back and rocked him back and forth. Then Jim took his arms from his side and put them around his dad and let himself be completely engulfed by his father for the first time. Jim felt like he was finally home. They stayed this way for a long while until William said, "Okay, Jimmy, now I want you to tell me what brought this up and why you're this upset."
So Jim proceeded to tell him what the Police Commission said, about the pictures, about the blackmail and the worst thing that he fucked around on Blair the night before. The whole time, Jim had his head hanging down in shame. William pulled his chin up and met Jim' eyes and said, "Jimmy, you go and kick some ass. Don't worry about this. If they show me pictures, so be it. It's not the end of the world. I could be seeing pictures of my dead son. That would be the worst thing. This isn't the worst thing in the world. I love you, Jimmy."
Jim went back into this mans arms and hugged him so hard and he whispered, "Dad, I love you too. I'm so sorry for all the years we have missed."
"Jimmy, go and take care of this and then we can try to make up for all this. And speaking of taking care of things, what is happening with Blair? Where is he?"
"He's over at Joel's." Jim said, "I told him that I couldn't do that to you and he went to stay with Joel."
"Do you have Joel's address on you?" I could go and spend time with him and tell him not to worry. That would make him feel better. Or at least I could call and let him know that I like him a lot and hope to get to know him better soon.
Jim bent over and wrote on a piece of paper, putting both the address and phone number on the paper. He smiled at his dad and said, "Okay, I'm off to fight the evil. Take care of him, Dad. He's my life."
"I got that, Jimmy." William said smiling. He walked Jim to the truck and watched him drive away. Then he went into his garage and pulled his Lincoln out and started on his way over to Joel's house. William felt sorry for Police Commissioner Jefferson. This was going to be a mess when Jim was done. William found himself smiling at the thought of getting Jefferson. William had secretly hated that man for years. This happy thought made his drive over to see Blair sail by.