How To Breathe
by Patt Paulos-Darrow
Today I feel like I need lessons in breathing.
I am so upset, not certain of why, but can't breathe.
I have been crying a lot, which is not normal for me.
I thought I was over this.
I have been talking to a lot of other cops lately.
Maybe this is making things too real for me.
I suppose I must get used to that.
Each person seems to be so sad.
It feels like I need to carry the burden for them, knowing I cannot.
They are all just like me.
Needing help and wanting someone to be there for them.
I have to stop and make myself breathe.
In and out through my mouth.
It will be alright.
I just need to get used to this.
It is so frightening, isn't it strange how all this still has a hold on me?
This makes me angry all over again.
So, I will just keep telling myself to breathe.
In and out and things will get better.
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