Open Letter to My Anonymous Flamer

I'm sure you've all read at one point in time or another, when a writer says Flames will be posted to the list and laughed at? Well, this isn't fic related nor am I going to post it to any list, but it's the same idea.

First off I'd like to explain to those reading this why I'm doing this. On one of the lists I'm on, a member posted a rant. That list is very open and not only are rants allowed, but other list members are allowed to express their opinion about the subject as well. Only three other people beside myself responded to it. When all was said and done it turned out that we all agreed on things for the most part. No one who posted to the discussion including the original poster had any bad feeling about it, instead we all came to understand each other a little better.

But (yes, I know you saw this coming) off-list things were happening I didn't know about at first. Someone decided they didn't like my attitude. Now that in itself is no big deal, everyone is entitled to their opinion. But they crossed the line when they decided to flame me not once but twice off-list to the list owner demanding something be done about me.

If my flamer had the courage to confront me with their problem it could have been worked out. But they didn't and, in my opinion, cowardly decided to flame me behind the scenes. Since I doubt they will come forward, this is my only way to answer.

To begin I, unlike my flamer, believe in saying thing to a person's face, even if it's just their cyber face. I also believe in giving as good, if not better, than I get.

So here goes:

* * *

My Flamer says:

That I needed to be told I'm not perfect.

Me? Perfect? Yeah, right. LOL! I never claimed to be perfect, far from it in fact and if you knew me at all you'd know better than to say that.

That you were highly insulted for the person who I replied to.

Why? They weren't upset, they knew exactly what I meant. And they didn't read more into things than were said.

And yet after claiming to be upset for the person who in your mind I insulted, you said in another email that you weren't really complaining for their sake, that you were offended by my comment.

First off I wish you'd make up your mind about who you feel was insulted or offended. Then if it was you, how and why were you offended? My comments weren't aimed at you, I don't even know who you are. My post stated nothing more than what the original poster already said and again they understood what I was saying. If I offended you than you should have said something to me. The list was an adult list everyone's opinions were welcome. I was both honest and open with my response and I clearly stated I didn't think everyone would agree with it. If you had emailed me I may not have agreed with you opinion, but we could have cleared things up one way or another.

I found it amusing that you didn't care about what I “may” have gone through in my life. Then turned around and said I didn't know the circumstances of the other person's life.

Take a minute and see if you can find any fairness or logic in that. I can't.

That it's never right to judge someone. That you didn't judge me for my opinions or beliefs. And what gave me the right to be so judgmental?

Right! You sure did a great imitation of it, cause it looks like that's exactly what you did. Is this another one of those do as I say not as I do type of things? And then you had the nerve to call me judgmental? I think that's a case of the pot calling the kettle black.

You said you didn't say anything to me because you didn't want to get into a screaming match.

ROTFL! A screaming match? What did you have in mind there? The two of us exchanging emails in which all the letters were capitalized? LOL!

You said you didn't think the person I replied to would be on the list again for some time.

Not only were you proved wrong about it, they agreed with most of the things I said.

Then you started name calling, Going down through your flames: I was called a jerk, pompous, negative and condescending. And that you had other things you'd call me, but you were trying to be nice. That there was such a thing as stating your beliefs without name calling.

Yes, everyone reading this can see how you state your beliefs, and how adult and beyond name calling you are. BTW: You forgot sarcastic, but by the time you're done reading this you'll have figured that out.

That the only things you've ever read from me have seemed to be negative.

Since you're obviously such a sunshine and lollypop type of person, I wonder what you see as negative? I'd say to just look up my posts in the archive and you'd see differently, but I doubt you would.

You were all for open discussions. But you didn't want someone who thinks they know everything start mouthing off and being insulting.

Hmmmm! Guess you figure mouthing off and being insulting behind someone's back is okay though right?

That you haven't posted nasty things to anyone and have applauded those with differing opinions.

LOL! Yeah...Okay.... if you say so. Your flames say otherwise though.

That you couldn't be civil to me in a post. And your mother taught you that if you can't say something nice then you shouldn't say anything at all.

I have to say I don't think that lesson took very well.

You said that you may sound childish,

Well in case you haven't noticed I haven't called you any names other than flamer, but since that's what you did and I don't know your name I think I'm allowed that one. As for what you said... I wouldn't call you that, but I won't disagree with you about it either.

That at the moment you feared you would truly offend some people with what you had to say.

Actually you gave me a good laugh the first time I read it, and I'm laughing even harder right now.

That your flame took some time to write, because you were trying not to let your hurt and anger soak into it.

Don't you worry, your self-control came shining through for all to see. Although why you would be hurt or angry at something that had nothing to do with you is a complete mystery to me.

* * *

So a few words of warning to those who will take them:

If you want to flame me feel free, but have the courage to send them to me. The worse thing that will happen is we talk and possibly come to an understanding, agree to disagree on things or hate and ignore each other from then on. However if you don't have the nerve to even try to straighten things out and I find out you're flaming me behind my back, then I'm going to give you whatever I feel you deserve and I won't be shy about letting everyone see it.

Payback isn't a bitch... it's a bastard and right now his name is Steel.

Take me back to the Beginning.

I want to send you my opinion of your letter.

I'd like to read more. Take me back to Steelknight’s Gen index.