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Notes: Thanks to Padawan Tera for Beta'ing this!
Dedicated to Bookjunki
Pairing: Q/O
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Obi-Wan Kenobi learns to deal with hidden feelings.
Obi-Won awoke alone in the cabin. His Master was gone. He thought about the older man, his mentor.
A man so cold that Obi-Wan wondered sometimes if he cared for anything. Qui-Gon was always so formal around his Padawan. It was always "keep your mind on your training."
I wonder if you were always this harsh? Obi-Wan wondered. I wonder if anyone ever was allowed to love you.
The way I love you.
He could remember when he had first become Qui-Gon's Padawan. His master had smiled a lot then. It was soon after his fifteen birthday when Qui-Gon became so formal. Gone was the genteel teasing, replaced by Qui-Gon's reminders about keeping traditions.
He lived for a smile from Qui-Gon. They where rare. Even more rare was the sound of his laughter. Obi-Wan lived for those moments of amusement from his master. They were few now.
Qui-Gon came into the cabin. His lean, muscular body nude, carrying a towel in one hand. His hair was wet, the water dripping in drops down the muscular chest. Obi-Wan felt himself growing hard at this sight.
Obi-Wan turned away from his Master, and closed his mind. It wouldn't do to let his Master know that he was a turn on.
Qui-Gon couldn't help but smile as his Apprentice had closed his mind. There was enough in those few short seconds of openness to let him know that something was going to have to change.
Qui-Gon dressed. Did he really act so formal around the Padawan? Then he realized that perhaps he was being too rigid. Don't you understand I had to become formal? It's not right for an old man to be attracted to his underage Padawan.
Obi-Wan's twenty. No longer a teenager, a man.
Obi-Wan had feelings for Qui-Gon. He had known about them for years. He had thought that it was simply a boyhood crush. But now, he felt something else, something that frightened Qui-Gon. His Padawan was in love with him. Not only that, but he felt a hopelessness from the boy. Man, he's a man now.
It was always traditional for the Padawan to make breakfast. Part of the discipline of training. Qui-Gon had insisted that they follow the traditions of the Jedi. Every part of their training was seeped in traditions.
Qui-Gon started a fire in the fireplace. Obi-Wan always loved a large breakfast. His master had made him eat oatmeal. Discipline, he had told himself. Now he busied himself making biscuits, squeezing juice, and cooking eggs.
Oh goddess, I didn't get up early enough! Obi-Wan got out of bed, and quickly dressed.
Qui-Gon couldn't help but smile. "How was your sleep?"
"I'm sorry, this won't happen again." He vowed. He tried to enter the kitchen.
Qui-Gon stopped him. "Today, I cook breakfast."
"Tradition states....."
"Sod tradition." Qui-Gon gave a half smile. "Why don't you clean the cabin while I finish breakfast."
"Yes Master." The Padawan started to make his bed, giving strange glances to Qui-Gon. He had thrown his Padawan off.
He set the table, then said. "Time for breakfast."
The Padawan stopped his cleaning. "Yes, Master."
Obi-Wan went to the table, and sat. Qui-Gon put a filled plate in both their places. Obi-Wan's eyes got large. "Master...."
"Is there something wrong with the food?" he sounded non-chanlant as he sat down at the table.
"I thought a good breakfast was always oatmeal."
"I grow weary of oatmeal."
Obi-Wan wondered if his Master was going insane. He had seen two smiles from him, and the man had made breakfast. Not only that, but Obi-Wan's favorite breakfast.
Qui-Gon sat waiting for something. At the same time, as tradition dictated, Obi-Wan waited for his master to begin eating.
Finally Qui-Gon said. "You better start."
"Tradition dictates...."
"That the cook wait for the guest to eat. I cooked this time." Qui-Gon smiled again.
Obi-Wan picked up some eggs with his fork, then he put them into his mouth. They where good, very good. "Why didn't you tell me you could cook this well?"
"If I did, you would never learn." Qui-Gon shrugged, and began eating.
Qui-Gon kept looking at him when they where eating. It unnerved Obi-Wan the way that Qui-Gon would run his lips over the fork as ate, and stare into his eyes at the same time. Then sometimes, his tongue would dart out, caressing the fork, in he way Obi-Wan had dreamt about. His body began to react to his master's eating. Obi-Wan became hard, very hard.
Why would his eating turn me on?
Obi-Wan looked down to his food, and busied himself eating. Wishing that his penis would go soft.
When they where finished eating, Obi-Wan moved to clean up. He picked up Qui-Gon's plate. Qui-Gon's large hand covered his, then there was a slight squeeze. "I'll help you with this."
"Yes, Master." He almost yelped.
"You wash, I'll dry." he said sultry, squeezing the hand again.
Obi-Wan could only nod. He went to the sink and began filling it with water. He looked under the sink and got out some soap. He began to wash the dishes. Qui-Gon took a plate from him, then he walked so that he was behind Obi-Wan. He opened the cabinet above the Padawan. His hardness brushed against the younger man's back. He stood there, for a couple of seconds, then went back to the other side of the sink.
This is an exercise in discipline. Obi-Wan guessed. He wants me not to come in my pants.
Qui-Gon took a glass out of Obi-Wan's hand. Again, he gave that slight squeeze. Obi-Wan bit the inside of his lip.
Obi-Wan began to wash a pot. Qui-Gon sighed as he watched the Padawan. "That's not how you do it."
Qui-Gon stood behind Obi-Wan. He took the younger man's hands in his. Pushing Obi-Wan's stomach against the sink. He began to guide his apprentices hands across the pot, slowly. His hardness pressed against Obi-Wan's back.
As he rubbed the pot, Qui-Gon's cock rubbed across his back. Thrust, thrust. Every thrust made Obi-Wan's cock push into the sink.
Obi-Wan gasped. He was getting close to orgasm. He knew Qui-Gon didn't know what he was doing to him. This felt so good. He didn't want it to stop.
He felt his Master's grip on him increase, Qui-Gon clung to him for support. His Master giving him little kisses on the neck. The thrusts of his Master increased, then a wetness against his back. his Master's teeth bit his neck. Then Obi-Wan came.
//Obi-Wan,// Qui-Gon said in his mind. Obi-Wan turned, and found his Master kissing him. He found himself putting his arms around his Master, opening himself to the kiss.
What did I do? he thought horrified. I made master want me! Carnality is forbidden by the code!
"Master, can I be excused to take a bath?"
"Of course," Qui-Gon was breathing hard.
Obi-Wan Kenobi was hiding in a cave. When his Master found him, he would be sent back to Corasant.
The bite marks on his neck still stung. He reached up, touching it. Love bites. His head swam in confusion. His Master had simply made breakfast for him. He had taken it too far.
Obi-Wan would be on the next transport to Corasant. There he would have to face the council with his shame. Forcing yourself on your master meant that no Master would take you. He would have to become a farmer.
I love him. Every touch of his turns me on. I caused this. All he was doing was trying to help me!
The Padawan could feel his Master touch his mind. //Obi-Wan, where are you?//
//Master, please. I need some time to think.// He closed his mind.
Near dark, Qui-Gon found him. "So this is where you where hiding."
"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan didn't bother to get off of the rock he was sitting on.
Formally, Qui-Gon said. "Obi-Wan, I'm sorry I forced myself on you."
"It was my fault. I used to be able to hide my desires. Now, I can't." he looked at the cave wall. "All you did was try to help me. I couldn't control myself."
"Don't be ashamed of your love." Qui-Gon finally said.
"What we did was forbidden."
"Why do you think love is forbidden?"
"When I was at the academy, we where told that we where not to give into our carnal nature." he was whispering. "We where to remain chaste."
"You never even kissed another." Qui-Gon guessed. "Your a virgin."
"I was," tears stung Obi-Wan's eyes. "I should have stopped it. Your touch felt so good, but it's forbidden."
"What the teachers meant was you aren't supposed to have many relationships, that are just there for the sex." Qui-Gon smiled a bit. "Love is something different."
"Love?"
"What we did in the kitchen is permitted." Qui-Gon paused. "The love of a Master for his Padawan is allowed."
"The Padawan always leaves his Master." Obi-Wan recited a teaching, though his heart was beginning to hope.
"There are times, that a knight is allowed to stay with his former master. Think about your teachers at the academy."
Obi-Wan thought of his teachers, most of them lived in pairs, knights and masters. "You're right."
"I will leave it to you whether we have a relationship."
"What about your wants?" Obi-Wan asked.
"An old man's needs are few."
"You're not old." Obi-Wan's eyes met his Master's.
"I am over twice your age."
"It's never felt that way to me."
"I am old enough to be your father." Qui-Gon pointed out.
"Your wisdom and experience are two of the reasons I fell in love with you."
"If we continue with the relationship, there is no turning back." Qui-Gon warned.
"I don't think we could go back to pretending that nothing happened." Obi-wan said. "At least I couldn't."
"In my love for you, I depended on the traditions. I should have went along [with] what was right."
"The traditions you taught me, made me respect our history. Made me realize that being a Jedi was something special." Obi-Wan's gaze remained firm. "That was one of the reasons I love you."
"Are you sure about this?" Qui-Gon asked again.
"Yes, Master."
A smile played on Qui-Gon's lips. "When you say yes, Master,' did it really mean I love you?"
"It was the only way I could tell you."
Qui-Gon put a hand on each side of his cheeks. "You are a precious jewel."
The older man's lips brushed his. With a sigh, Obi-Wan opened himself to the kiss.
//I love you.// Obi-Wan thought.
//I know.// His master said.
Obi-Won woke. He was alone in the bed. His Master gone. He thought of the older man, his mentor. So much had happened in the past twenty-four hours.
Had last night been a dream? Had he really been taught to love by Qui-Gon? Would his lover come back, and tell him to forget what happened the day before?
Qui-Gon came into the cabin. His muscular body nude. The carried a towel in one hand. His hair billowed around him like a mane. Goddess, he was beautiful nude. The master gave a half smile as he saw Obi-Wan in bed. How could Qui-Gon ever imagine himself as old? He was in the prime of life.
Obi-Wan turned away from his Master, and closed his eyes, pretending sleep. Qui-Gon slipped into bed beside Obi-Wan. He pressed himself against his lover. He was hard, it excited Obi-Wan. "Good morning, beloved."
Obi-Wan turned to face the older man. "Good morning, Master."
Qui-Gon reached out, tracing the outline of his face. "I am not your Master in bed."
"Then what would you like me to call you?" he rolled himself onto his back, and pulled his lover on top of him.
Qui-Gon settled between Obi-Wan's legs. "When we are in bed, Qui-Gon."
"Yes, ma...Qui-Gon." He moaned, as he felt his Master fill him. He ran his hands down his lover's back. Qui-Gon trapped his hands in his, and pulled them over his head. Qui-Gon held his hands tightly as he began to thrust.
"Master...." his words blocked out by his lovers lips pressing down on him.