Archive: DPS, MA, SWAL, Xani archives, anywhere else
please ask.
Archive Date: February 14, 2001
Category: Non Q/O, AU
Feedback: Sure, why not?
Pairing: Q/X
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Qui-Gon makes a decision.
Warnings: This is a DPS fic. I'm doing this
unofficially, 'cause this is such a great idea, and
there can never be enough DPS fics. *veg* Happy
Halloween, ya'll!
Beautiful is empty
Beautiful is free
Beautiful loves no one
Beautiful stripped me
--Creed, Beautiful
The hollowness of your mocking laughter follows me down the long hall. On your face there is a fresh, bright red scar, shaped as a circle. I walk away from you, from my dreams, from the love I thought we shared. The darkness of the hall fades into brilliant daylight as I step outside, taking a long deep breath.
Xanatos. Oh, my Xanatos.
I feel numb, empty. I start the engines of the starship, seeing you running across the hanger toward the ship. I try to leave before you can say a word, but my heart, that foolish thing that loves you still, now mixed with fear of your power over me, will not let me.
"Master!" you say, hand and face just through the doorway, command in your voice, dark hair flying. The word is not a plea, not a call, but an order. "Stay!" I stare at you like you have become something utterly foreign to me. "Stay..." you say again, this time a seduction.
Your hand reaches out and seizes mine. "It was not my fault, I didn't start it," you pout. "Why are you blaming me?"
"Becau..." I start and swallow, my voice gone hoarse, instantly releasing your hand. "Because you betrayed everything you were supposed to hold dear. Because you violated a people and interfered in a government against my direction."
You go slack against the door, eyes wide. "Master!" you gasp. "I..." You have no excuse.
Suddenly rage clouds your eyes. "And now you go back to the Temple to tell them all, don't you? To have me cast out in disgrace?" Your fingers clench into a fist, scraping hard against the metal of the door.
"What else could I do?" I say. "Xanatos, you are no longer my padawan. You are a rebel against the Jedi and the Republic."
"I did what I had to do," you say.
My mind is now made up. I press a small button. The door locks silently.
"So will I, lover," I say. Your eyes go wide as I draw my lightsaber. Too late you realize the door is locked.
You draw your own, glimmering red in the dim light. Green clashes with red. "This ends, here and now," I say. The harsh pant of fear is your only answer. You are frightened now as you never have been before. I step forward, you lose your focus, and your lightsaber falls from limp hands.
I gather you to me, saber still lit, and hold you for the last time in my arms. "I'm sorry, beautiful," I whisper. "You brought it on yourself."
I drive the blade deep into your chest. You let out a choked gasp and collapse, limp, onto me, blood staining your tunics. I stare down at you as your eyes hold mine even in defeat, in death.
Laying your body down on the floor of the ship, I set course for Coruscant and lift off.
When we are in hyperspace, I go to you, saber slicing through your bloodstained braid, closing your eyes. My tears fall onto your tunics, mingling with the stains there. I brush my hand over the scar on your face.
This was my duty as a Jedi, to kill the tainted padawan, even should he be my lover. In the end, even in death, Xanatos, you've conquered me, stripped me.
You beautiful one, you have brought ruin not only to the planet you claimed to love, but the Jedi you also claimed to love.