Archive: SWC; M&A; The Rising Force; anyone else just ask
Category: Humor/parody
Disclaimer: The cute ones are George's. I can only plead for his
forgiveness and understanding.
Notes: You know the drill. Bunny courtesy of Mac, Emu and Wolfe.
A heartfelt thank you to kaly and Raven for the beta. kaly thought that
perhaps it was Qui's turn to squirm. I wholeheartedly agreed. She is
also the one with a marked fondness for Qui Gon when he's squeezing into
classroom desk chairs, so you can thank her for that bit as well.
Pairing: Q/O
Rating: approaching NC 17
Series: Humanoid Sexual Techniques, story 4
Summary: Obi Wan teaches Sex Ed.
Warnings: If the earlier installments made you spew this one
probably will too.
"How was the rest of your day?" Qui Gon asked as he entered the common room of the quarters he shared with his padawan, Obi Wan Kenobi.
Obi Wan looked up from his datapad. "Fine, Master. And yours?"
"Long."
"I am sorry to hear that, Master. The glove is in my room if you'd like me to get it. I know you find it relaxing."
"Thank you for offering, but what I really want is a long hot shower."
Obi Wan rose. "I'll prepare dinner while you shower."
The corners of Qui Gon's mouth twitched slightly. "Avoiding the dining hall again?"
"Why would I want to avoid the dining hall?" Obi Wan tried to sound innocent.
Qui Gon chuckled softly to himself. "No reason, Padawan. No reason at all."
A short time later a refreshed Qui Gon entered the kitchen. "What can I do to help?"
"Carry these to the table and we're done." Qui Gon accepted the offered dishes and carried them to the table, followed by his apprentice.
Sitting, Qui Gon asked, "Will you be needing any assistance with tomorrow's class?"
'Not if it's like the help you gave me today,' Obi Wan thought. "I haven't examined tomorrow's lesson plan very closely."
"It's Oral Stimulation Level Two, as I recall."
'Like you'd forget,' thought Obi Wan.
"Just how much stimulation is included?"
"Fellatio is covered, Master." I know that's what you wanted to know. "I wasn't planning on a demonstration." 'At least not on a person,' Obi Wan thought to himself, carefully shielding his thoughts.
"That's probably for the best," Qui Gon agreed.
"But I would appreciate it if you attend. The students always seem to have questions I can't answer."
"Of course, Padawan. You know I am happy to help in any way I can. Do you want to review the material this evening?"
Obi Wan shook his head. "I wouldn't want to take up any more of your time. You've been so helpful already."
Qui Gon did not fully succeed in hiding his disappointment. "Whatever you feel is best."
The last of the students was just sitting down as they arrived in class. Obi Wan tried not to stare as Qui Gon wiggled into the small desk chair. He wondered if Qui Gon would notice if he replaced his master's favorite chair with one of the desks. Probably, he decided. And explaining his reasons for the change would be most awkward.
"Good Morning."
"Good Morning, Instructor Kenobi."
"Today we will be discussing Oral Stimulation Level Two. Which is essentially using your mouth to caress all of the same places you can caress with your hands."
A raised hand. "Including the genitals?"
"Yes, including the genitals."
"Doesn't that taste, well, bad?"
Obi Wan could sense his master's amusement. He flashed the older man a conspiratorial smile before answering. "No, it doesn't taste bad."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure. You may even find that you like it."
"Do you?"
"Enjoy the taste of my partner?" Obi Wan asked. "So far I always have. Any more questions?"
"Were they male or female?"
"Who?"
"Your partners."
Obi Wan floundered slightly. "That's a highly personal question."
The student flushed slightly. "It's just that I was wondering if they taste different."
"Males and females?"
The student nodded.
"Yes, they taste different. In fact, no two individuals taste precisely the same." Obi Wan decided it was time to change the subject. "Let's move on. We have quite a bit of material to cover today. There are four basic things you can do with your mouth, brush or press your lips against your partner's skin, essentially a kiss, and lick, nip, and suck."
A hand. "Nip as in bite?"
"Yes, a light bite, at the right place and time can feel good."
"Really?"
"Yes, really. Some people even enjoy more than a nip."
"Are you sure?"
Obi Wan could sense Qui Gon's suppressed laughter. "Yes, I'm sure."
"Do you enjoy it?"
"Yes."
"Biting or being bitten?"
"Yes," Obi Wan reiterated.
Really? Qui Gon asked.
Obi Wan groaned mentally. Not you too.
Another hand. "Doesn't sucking leave marks?"
"Only in some places and only if you want it to."
"Instructor Kenobi."
"Yes?" Only years of Jedi training kept the exasperation from his voice.
"Where should we do these things?"
"Wherever your partner wants you to."
"How will I know where he or she wants me to?"
"Were you here yesterday?"
The student nodded.
"Then just follow the advice Master Qui Gon gave on how to identify the areas your partner enjoys having touched. It was pretty thorough."
A voice from the back of the room. "Did he ever manage to make you moan?"
This time Qui Gon failed to contain his laughter.
Obi Wan looked squarely at his master as he replied. "My master makes me moan on a fairly regular basis, usually from frustration."
So that's what it was, frustration.
Yes, Master, that's what it was.
I could have sworn it was something else.
"Instructor Kenobi, are you and Master Jinn done yet?"
Obi Wan looked back at his students. "Done what?"
"Talking. Unless you were doing something else?" Laughter.
"Uh, no. We're done."
"Will there be any demonstrations today?"
"Yes."
He felt Qui Gon's surprise, grinned at him. "Don't worry, Master. You don't need to participate in this one." Just watch, he added silently.
Obi Wan reached into the Galactic Get-offs box and removed a model of a penis. It was erect, slightly larger than average, with a movable foreskin. "Today's demonstration is fellatio. The most important element in performing fellatio well is enthusiasm. Wouldn't you agree, Master?"
Qui Gon nodded.
"Depending upon the individual there may or may not be a foreskin and it may or may not have withdrawn. If it hasn't you can push it back with your fingers, like so." He moved the foreskin on the model. "In fact, moving the foreskin back and forth across the head can be quite pleasurable."
"A good way to begin fellatio is by licking the head." He flicked his tongue across the head of the model. "You can also swirl your tongue around it." Obi Wan did so. At the same time he sent a mental image to Qui Gon, of himself on his knees, doing that very thing on a penis which resembled his master's.
"The underside is also a good place for licking." He ran his tongue from the base up to the tip. "The testicles can also be licked. And while we're in the area, taking one into your mouth and gently sucking or humming can create very interesting sensations in your partner." He demonstrated, taking one of the model testicles into his mouth. So did the imaginary Obi Wan. Obi Wan included some sensations with the image. Just wanted to be certain you were paying attention, Master.
He could almost sense Qui Gon squirming in his chair. He released the testicle and looked directly at his master. "You should exercise great care in this area. It is very easy to get carried away and suck too hard, causing pain instead of pleasure. But when it comes to the penis itself generally the more suction the better. Don't you think so, Master?"
Qui Gon choked out a one word reply. "Yes."
"But you don't need to suck on the entire penis at once." He grinned at Qui Gon. "With some partners that isn't even possible." Obi Wan returned his attention to the model. "Well performed fellatio starts slowly and builds. In addition to licking the penis, you can also take small amounts into your mouth and suck. Like so." He placed his mouth on the underside of the penis and sucked slightly. "It can be especially effective to work your way along the entire length in such a fashion. Make certain that you cover every bit of flesh along the path you're making." Again, the imaginary Obi Wan mirrored his actions. Qui Gon was definitely squirming now.
"Because the head is so sensitive in many males, your partner may enjoy having just the head sucked. It can be especially effective to pull back slowly, drawing the head between your lips. Watch." Obi Wan moved his mouth over the head of the model penis several times. Imaginary Obi Wan did the same.
"After teasing your partner in such a fashion it can be a pleasant surprise to suddenly take as much of the penis into your mouth as you can manage. Alternatively, you can gradually increase the amount being taken into your mouth. Which technique you use will probably depend upon your preferences, those of your partner, and, well, the general mood."
One of the students turned to Qui Gon, "Do you have a preference, Master?"
Qui Gon shook his head. "No."
Obi Wan laughed in his mind. He had imaginary Obi Wan perform the second technique, taking slightly more of the penis before him into his mouth with each stroke. Are you certain you wouldn't prefer this, Master?
"When you've taken as much as you can manage into your mouth, you can use your hand to caress what remains." Obi Wan wrapped one hand around the base of the model penis. "Then move your mouth and hand together."
Obi Wan looked directly at his master. "There is one technique which requires some practice. It is called deep throating and involves taking the entire penis into your mouth. To successfully do this you have to control your gag reflex, but it can be done." He locked his eyes to Qui Gon's. "Like so." The model penis disappeared into Obi Wan's mouth, up to the testicles.
Qui Gon's eyes widened at the sight. The imaginary Obi Wan once again copied the moves of the actual Obi Wan. Qui Gon managed to contain the groan which arose deep in his throat.
Frustrated, Master? Obi Wan chuckled into his mind.
Obi Wan withdrew the model. "Swallowing when in this position produces some very pleasurable sensations in the recipient." He set the model down. "That pretty much covers it. You will probably uncover some more techniques while practicing with your partner. Don't hesitate to explore."
"Instructor Kenobi, what do you do when your partner, you know..."
"Climaxes?"
The student nodded.
"Swallow. It is generally considered polite."
"But what about the taste?"
"I thought we covered that already." Obi Wan reached into the box. "Now for cunnilingus..." The bell rang. "Class dismissed."
As the students filed out Obi Wan heard one young woman ask the woman next to her, "Did you notice how the bell keeps ringing whenever it gets to us?" The other young woman nodded. "I'm beginning to think they plan it that way."
Obi Wan turned his attention to his master. "Are you coming, Master?"
"What?"
"Leaving. Will you be leaving with me?"
"Yes, of course." He squirmed his way out of the chair.
Qui Gon's usual graceful stride was a little off. "Something the matter, Master?"
"No." Qui Gon slid his hands into his sleeves. "Why do you ask?"
"No reason, Master. No reason."
Obi Wan slid onto the bench next to Bant.
She looked up from her lunch. "So, Kenobi, how did it go?"
He grinned at her, a huge evil grin. "Exactly as planned. It was definitely time Qui Gon Jinn got a taste of his own medicine."
Was it indeed, Padawan? asked a voice in his mind.
On to Vaginal Intercourse