Kisses
by Amy Fortuna


Archive: master_apprentice, SWAL; anywhere else, just ask, I won't say no.
Archive Date: January 17, 2000
Category: Romance, POV
Disclaimer: I spend all my hard-earned money supporting my Jedi habit. Don't sue me, I gave it to you already, George.
Feedback: Which kiss made you drop to the floor? Tell me! Tell me! I want to know!
Notes: Madness spinning out of my eleventh viewing of TPM . That time I got to see it in the company of fellow slashers! (Waves to kimberlite and Rushlight).
Also, this is my answer to my own challenge to use in a fic the sentence: "I'll never kiss him again."
Many, many thanks to Nancy, kimberlite and Rushlight for *massive* beta help. I may have written the story, but they made me make it good.:-)
Pairing: Q/O
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Yeah.
Summary: Obi-Wan's memories, sparked by an innocent remark of Panaka's.
Warnings: *slight* underage, nothing graphic though. Basically, if you think teenagers fall in love, you won't have a problem reading this one.


"I guess you can kiss your trade franchise goodbye."

Obi-Wan Kenobi only heard one word of that exchange.

Kiss.

"I'll never kiss him again," he thought achingly, nearly whispering the words aloud.

His hands began to shake slightly and he tightened his grip on Anakin's shoulder, replaying one by one, the all too few kisses he and his master had shared over the years.


Twelve Years Earlier

In the mirror, he could see their reflected images, Qui-Gon's hands on his shoulders, smiling at his new padawan. Obi-Wan had hoped and dreamed so long for this, to wear his hair this way, to have a master. To have the master, Qui-Gon Jinn. All of his dreams had just come true...the moment could not possibly get any better.

Until it did.

Qui-Gon leaned over and kissed him lightly on the forehead, a casual kiss, but one that betrayed affection.

Eleven Years Earlier

"Padawan! Are you all right?"

Obi-Wan tried to stand, but found he could not. The blaster shot had managed to get past his lightsaber and had hit him in the ankle.

"Mostly, Master, but my foot..." he trailed off, not knowing what to say. His injury had been his own fault.

He heard footsteps and suddenly Qui-Gon was kneeling beside him, touching him gently to make sure that he was not seriously injured.

He was picked up and carried over the rough terrain back to their ship. Qui-Gon laid him down on one of the bunks and sent him to sleep. Just before he fell into peaceful, painless darkness, he felt a light touch of lips against his face. Obi-Wan smiled faintly as he drifted away.

Ten Years Earlier

"I'm not good enough."

"Padawan..."

"Master, I can't do it."

"Yes, you can, and yes, you will. Do you want plainer words?"

"No, Master."

Obi-Wan launched himself into the complex aerial kata, flying through the air with the help of the Force. Conscious of his master's watching eyes, he went carefully, a little more slowly than he would have liked.

At the end, he landed sweat-slick in front of Qui-Gon, who said nothing, but smiled, placing his hands on the boy's shoulders and drawing him forward.

"Well done, Padawan," he heard, just before Qui-Gon picked up the end of his braid and touched it to his lips. Somehow that was more wonderful than a closer caress.

Nine Years Earlier

"Where am I?"

The whisper was loud in the deadly silence of the room. Someone heard him and stirred briefly.

"Obi-Wan? Ah, Obi-Wan, we thought we lost you...! Thank the Force you're still with me...."

Qui-Gon was kneeling by Obi-Wan's bed. His face was weary, but his smile could have charmed angels.

"I believe I'm alive, Master," Obi-Wan said weakly, staring up at his master's concerned face.

"Alive but weak. Stay still, dearest Padawan," Qui-Gon answered, taking a limp hand in his own and raising it to his lips.

"Go to sleep, my Obi-Wan," he whispered softly.

And Obi-Wan did, and dreamed of his Master.

Eight Years Earlier

"Master! Master!"

Obi-Wan rushed to Qui-Gon's side as the green lightsaber slid to the ground, deactivating. Surrounded by dead rebels, they waited for help, one Jedi weak and wounded, the other afraid, but ready to defend his fallen master from any more attackers.

Qui-Gon had been hit by several blaster shots, most seriously in his saber arm. Obi-Wan lifted his master's head and sat quietly cradling his body. Green eyes met blue as they stared silently at each other. For several moments, the universe consisted of nothing but themselves, then Obi-Wan broke the spell, leaned forward and kissed his master's forehead tenderly.

Rescuers came soon enough, to find them holding on as though each would die without the other.

Seven Years Earlier

"Padawan, you know what the Code says."

"Yes. I just want you to say you love me too."

"I won't deny it, Obi-Wan. I do love you, but we must wait until you are a knight."

"I can do that. I just wanted to know."

"Now you do, my Obi-Wan. Any more requests or confessions?"

"Yes, will you please--one kiss?"

"Like this?"

"Yes."

"Or, perhaps, like this?"

"Yessss. But I only asked for one...."

"I know. The second was for me."

"Oh."

Six Years Earlier

"Brilliant, Padawan! The best I've ever seen from you!"

Obi-Wan Kenobi flashed a bright smile at his master and deactivated his saber.

"Your compliments are better than another's kisses," he said quietly, almost matter-of-factly, except for the heat in his eyes.

"Careful, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said. They were approaching the ragged edge of control again.

Obi-Wan smiled.

"And your kisses are better than--"

"Than?"

"--than another's lovemaking," he continued.

Qui-Gon reached out suddenly, caught Obi-Wan's hands and pulled him into his arms. They kissed hungrily, yet tenderly, an open-mouthed clutch of desire.

Obi-Wan was on fire instantly, burning with desire. When they separated, he smiled half shyly, and moved away.

"I think...I'll go take a shower now," he gasped out, stepping back.

Qui-Gon groaned.

"I think I'll go somewhere far away and try not to think about you taking a shower, my Obi-Wan," he said quietly.

Five Years Earlier

"Happy Birthday, Padawan!" Qui-Gon smiled, raising a glass of water as though it were a toast. Obi-Wan laughed at the gesture.

"Oh. You remembered, Master. What did you get me? A rock, as usual, I'm sure."

Qui-Gon's eyes went wide.

"Ooops," he teased, drawing the moment out. "I knew there was something I forgot to pack."

They were on a remote planet on a dull, though not dangerous, mission. Bunking in a room with two other Jedi, they had managed to keep their hands away from each other, even though they had to share a bed.

But tonight, they sat in their room, alone for a little while. One of the other Jedi could return at any time, so they had virtually no privacy. However, they were making the best of it, sitting on their bed, pretending their humble meal was a feast.

Sharing memories of their seven years together, they laughed and talked of simple things they loved, of their long-dreamed of future together when they would no longer be master and padawan, but instead, everything to each other.

The gift was a rock, of a different sort however.

"Obi-love," Qui-Gon said, "This crystal is used in bonding ceremonies as a symbol of commitment. It is the custom for it to be filled with images and thoughts, through meditation, before the ceremony. When the clear crystal is filled with dreams and hopes, it shows through as rainbows in the sunshine. The more rainbows it casts, the better, the more beautiful."

Obi-Wan looked at the crystal in wonder. He had heard of such things, but since bonding ceremonies were few among the Jedi, he had never thought they would have one. This was a clear indication that a ceremony was what his master wanted.

"Qui-Gon," he breathed. "This--for our ceremony?"

"Yes, dearest Padawan."

"Let the first memory be of this, then," Obi-Wan whispered, leaning forward. A gentle kiss followed as the sparkling crystal caught the tenderness of their love for eternity.

Four Years Earlier

"What do you want for a night with the boy?"

Qui-Gon turned casually to face the man who had spoken.

"He's not my property, and he's no boy," he stated simply, hand on lightsaber.

"Then, little one," the man said, "What do you want for a night with me?"

Obi-Wan's look was gracious enough, but his eyes were ice cold.

"Sir, I am betrothed, and not for sale in any case."

Then he pulled Qui-Gon down and kissed him passionately, leaving no doubt about the identity of his betrothed. The man's look shot daggers at them, but he walked away, leaving them in peace.

"You were wrong, Master," Obi-Wan said when they could speak again. "I am yours."

Three Years Earlier

"Welcome home, Master," Obi-Wan smiled, taking Qui-Gon's cloak off with tender hands that hid a desperate fire. "Your bath is ready."

Qui-Gon smiled back, wearily.

"I have the best of padawans," he laughed. "And one day, I will have the best of bondmates...Come here, love."

"Master, when I'm here with you, I know I'm in the right place," Obi-Wan whispered, stepping into Qui-Gon's arms.

The kiss that followed was gentle, sweet, a dance of lips and tongues, infused with hunger that was tightly reined in.

"Your bath, Master?" Obi-Wan said after a few moments. "I'll finish getting dinner ready."

Qui-Gon sighed and stepped away.

"Yes, go, Obi-Wan. We will have time enough in a few years."

Two Years Earlier

"Go to Phindar to oversee a trade alliance, you will," Yoda said to them. "May the Force be with you."

"You can study the documents you'll need as you travel. You have one hour to prepare," Mace Windu said. "May the Force be with you."

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan bowed, turned, and left the Council chamber silently.

In the hallway, Qui-Gon turned to Obi-Wan, caught him in his arms and kissed him with sudden sweet hunger, drawing them into an alcove out of sight.

Released after a moment, Obi-Wan said shakily, "What was that for?"

"The good of the universe, Padawan. I know what you were thinking about just now and it was driving me crazy. Behave yourself. "

"Ye-ess, Master. But only for a little while longer, a year or so, then I can drive you as crazy as I want to."

"That's a promise, and I'll hold you to it, Obi-Wan."

Six Days Earlier

"You still have much to learn, my young apprentice."

"And we'll both go mad before I learn everything, so..."

Obi-Wan turned toward his master and pulled their bodies together.

"This sunset's too good to waste, Master. Just forget everything for a moment."

"Obi-Wan, someone could...see us."

"Forget that too."

Obi-Wan leaned up, arms around Qui-Gon's neck, and they kissed lingeringly, laughing.

"Soon, Obi-Wan. Very, very soon," Qui-Gon said after a minute.

"The sooner the better, my Master," answered Obi-Wan, smiling happily.


Later, Obi-Wan, standing silent and alone in the gardens of Naboo's palace, held up a small crystal. It scattered brilliant rainbows in the sunlight, for he had carried it everywhere, filling it with memories. The crystal would never now be used in a bonding ceremony, but rather as a sweet reminder of true love. Love that could transcend anything, even death.


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