Archive Date: October 17, 2000
Category: POV, angst
Disclaimer: Lucas owns them and I'm just playing. No money gained with
this work. This is written for intertainment purposes
Feedback: Begging here! any kind.
Rating: PG
Summary: What was going through the heads of Ben and Vader during their
fight in A New Hope? Might also explain in our slash-seeking little minds
Vader's actions in ROJ.
Warnings: my first attempt here.
I wait for him as I was destined. Here, alone on this monstrocity that destroied alderon surrounded by the darkside. I feel it lapping at my senses, calling to me, or is it him calling to me? Calling as he did long a go?
I'll not ignore him this time. I will wait here until he comes to me and we dance our last dance. A dance I am destined to loose but that will give his son a chance to right the wrongs the Jedi councel comitted long ago.
I feel him, so bright pulling at me with the same draw as ever. I go to him now but this time on my terms. This time I will be the master.
He will be unable to ignore me. I will return him to the force to his Qui-gon. I lost him before I had him and was saved by the dark.
It is still a wonder to me that the one thing the counsel feared I would become, I became because they did not trust me. They never gave me a chance. I was condemmed before I could prove my intentions so I gave them what they thought I would be.
Why doesn't he just end it? Why this pretence of a fight? He knows he'll win. Why do I allow it to go on?
Oh Ani! I destroied you as sure as the counsel. You only wanted my love and I couldnt give it to you. All because of the memory of one stolen kiss that would probably have lead to nothing. I spent half a life time ignoring what would have completed us because of the counsel and then when they were gone it was too late. By then, I had lost you and I couldn't reach you.
YOU look so old, my soul. All those years under the scoring' desert did you know good. The feel of you through the force is as strong as ever but your skill is gone.
Did you find my son, I wonder! You were probably the one who hid him. Oh Ben! Why did things turn out this way?
All I wanted was your love. It didn't have to be physical. I just wanted to be acknowledged. I thought Amadela would give me that and was betraied.
It's ending now! That's good! Very good. Have to tell him though Ani, I'm sorry...so sorry...i loved you too.
He's gone as if he never had been. No that's not true. I feel him all around me. His hand stroking my cheek. He loved me and I learned it too late. Or, is it?
It's never too late. Soon I will repair some of the dammage I've done. Soon.