Disclaimer: George Lucas owns Star Wars. I own this story.
Rating: PG-13
Series: Set in the same universe as the _Interludes_ series.
Spoilers: TPM & JA spoilers.
Summary: Obi-Wan writes home about his life as a Jedi.
Dear Mom,
Master Kimal said I write good enough to write you a letter now. She said that you would like it. I hope you do. This is my first letter ever. Master Kimal helped me spell it right. I got my practice lightsaber last week. I like it. I will visit you in three months. Tell Dad I love him. And the baby when it is born.
Love,
Ben.
Dear Mom,
My class just started learning how to make our own lightsabers. I'm getting good at fighting. I like it, but I don't like it when I hurt someone. But no one has hurt me. Master Yoda and Master Windu say I need to control more and then I won't hurt anyone either. But I know that when I grow up and become a Knight, I might have to hurt someone. Or even kill someone. Maybe that's why some initiates don't become padawans. Because they can't kill someone. It makes me scared to think that.
Give Dad and Owen hugs from me. I'll bring Owen his birthday present when I come to visit.
Love,
Ben.
Dear Mom,
I'm wondering if anyone wants me to be their padawan. No one has picked me. Some of my friends have already become padawans, and I'm kind of scared. Remember I used to wonder if I could kill someone? I think I can. And maybe that's wrong. Maybe being able to is as bad as not being able to.
Anyway. I met this Calamarain girl named Bant. She smells like salt water and I like her a lot. She can't go visit her parents this year because they're traveling, so I thought she could come home with me and meet you and Dad and Owen. She's really strong with the Force, stronger than me. I'm just good at the fighting part, but she can control all sorts of things. She's helping me learn that, and I'm helping her learn lightsaber technique. I told you I was best in my class at that, right?
Love to Dad. I put a letter in here for Owen. Bant says it's silly to write letters when I could just send a transmission, but I like doing it. I like getting letters, too.
Obi-Wan (Ben).
--
Dear Owen,
Hi! I thought I told you to stop calling me baby brother! You're way littler than I am, and you know it. I'm glad you're feeling better. I was worried about you.
Mom said you told the kids at school that I was a Jedi and they beat you up. You can't tell people stuff like that. It makes them mad. I don't know why. Master Yoda tried to explain it, but I can never understand him. But when I come to see you this year I'll show them my lightsaber, so they'll believe you.
Love,
Obi-Wan (Ben).
Dear Mom, Dad, and Owen,
It finally happened! I'm a Padawan. Master Qui-Gon Jinn made me his Padawan a few weeks ago, and I've been so busy I didn't have time to write. I haven't been back to the Temple yet, but Master Qui-Gon says that my birthday present from you is waiting for me. He gave me a rock. It sounds silly but it saved me. You saved me too--I thought about you and it helped me.
Don't worry. I'm fine. But it's dangerous being a Padawan. I knew that, but I didn't think about what it meant. The Temple was always safe. Master Yoda told me that being a Jedi was hard, but I didn't believe it. But it's true. A lot of people don't like us. And people try to hurt us. And we get dragged into things, and we have to work with people who aren't good.
Master Qui-Gon seemed very calm when everything was all over. But when we went to go to sleep that night, he told me that he'd thought he'd lost me, and that the best moment of his life was when he saw me again and realized I was fine.
That was good. I don't understand him, but I want to spend my life trying. I know he has lots of things to teach me. We get to Gala early tomorrow, so I have to go to sleep soon. It's not like in the creche where if I was quiet, I could stay awake. Master Qui-Gon gets annoyed if I don't go to sleep when he tells me to. Or not annoyed, exactly, but I don't want to annoy him. I'm kind of afraid that he doesn't really want me. Sometimes, like when he told me seeing me again was so good, I know he wants me. And other times I think he doesn't want me around at all. But I know I want to be with him. So I do what he says.
I don't know if I'll get to see you this year. Master Qui-Gon hasn't told me yet when our time off will be, and he might have plans for it already. I hope I get to see you, though. I miss you.
Love,
Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Dear Mom,
Guess what! I can come see you this year--for a whole month this time, not just a week like last year and the year before. My Master got into a big fight with the Council about it. He said that we'd been too busy, and that neither of us were getting enough rest and that my training was being neglected. They gave in and said we could have a month off at the Temple. He told them we were going to see you and that was that.
I'm glad you're finally going to get to meet him. It won't really be a vacation, because I need to drill and practice and I'll have lessons every day, but he promised I'd have time off to spend with you and Dad and Owen.
Tell Owen to stop chasing the girls and just wait a few years--they'll be all over him. I know they're all over me. Which is stupid. I'm a Padawan. The training discipline forbids...well, you know. Mom, can you tell me how to explain that to some of these girls? My Master just thinks it's funny.
I love you and will see you soon.
Obi-Wan
Dear Mom and Owen,
I can't believe Dad's gone. I just can't. I don't want to think about it. My Master says "There is no death, there is the Force," but it's hard to believe right now.
It's not like I got to see him that much, but I felt him die anyway. He was my father. It's like there's this little empty place inside my head where he used to be. I used to feel like I could reach out and touch him, but now I can't.
I wish I could be with you, but my Master and I are stuck in the middle of a civil war. I'm not even going to ask him if I can come see you. He'd probably tell me to stop being ridiculous.
No, no he wouldn't. But he wouldn't let me go, either, and he'd be annoyed that I asked. After all this time, you'd think I'd have stopped being afraid that he doesn't want me. I've learned to disagree with him and to argue with him, but there are things I won't do.
Not even for Dad, or you two.
I don't like it much, but that's the truth.
I love you so much. I'll come see you as soon as I can.
Obi-Wan.
Dear Owen,
I told you just to wait a little while for the girls. Beru's really pretty--thanks for sending me the picture. The sex thing is the real problem with being a Jedi-in-training. I'm very well acquainted with my hand. And my Master still finds it funny.
You're a little young to be thinking about marriage, though. Are you sure that's what you want? From what you said, Beru's a great person, but...well, I worry about you. Just like you still worry about me--baby brother.
Bant said to say "Hi".
Love,
Obi-Wan.
Dear Mom and Owen,
I don't know how to tell you this.
I'm a Jedi Knight now. I have a Padawan of my own.
Sounds good, doesn't it. It's not. I always thought that the day I became a Knight would be the happiest of my life.
My Master is dead. I can't tell you how. Jedi secrets. But he's dead, killed in battle. I don't know how to go on without him. This is too hard. He was...
Well. He was my Master. Nothing more needs to be said.
My Padawan's name is Anakin Skywalker. We'll be coming to see you in a little while, as soon as things settle down a little here. He's a sweet boy, but we need some quiet time to bond, and get his training started properly. I think he'll like you both, and I hope you'll like him.
Obi-Wan.
Dear Mom,
Of course Ani and I will be there for Owen's wedding. My Master taught me a lot of ways of "convincing" the Council to do what I want. Ani still needs a lot of remedial training, and he did so well with you last time that they saw reason and gave us two whole months.
Give Beru a kiss for me and tell Owen he's a lucky man.
Obi-Wan.
Dear Owen and Beru,
You two had better come to Ani's wedding. I'll never forgive you if you don't. You'll never have a wedding of mine to come to--I think I'm doomed to an eternity of celibacy--so you have to come to his. It's a royal wedding, but don't worry about clothes. I made Amidala promise to give you whatever you needed.
Her own parents are dead, so I'll be standing for them. I told Ani you'd stand for him, brother. You will, won't you? Don't make a liar out of me, Owen.
I know travel's difficult right now, but he needs us all around him. I have a bad feeling about things.
Obi-Wan.
Dear Mom,
The war is hellish. Why didn't you and Beru convince Owen to stay home? One of us in danger is enough.
Ani's doing well. But...I'm worried. Something's wrong.
Maybe it's just the war getting to me. I love you.
Obi-Wan.
Dear Owen and Beru,
I can't make it in for Mom's funeral. I'm so sorry, Owen. I know I wasn't there for you when Dad died, either. Be glad you're not a Jedi, baby brother. It's a harder life than you could possibly imagine, and the price is terrible. I don't know if it's worth it.
You had a childhood. I didn't. Cherish those memories, Owen. I was a distant son at best. You were the child who was there for her in the bad times. I was just words on a page.
Obi-Wan.
Lars,
I need your help. Get to Alderaan as soon as you can.
Ben.