Archive: master_apprentice, SWAL; anywhere else, just ask, I won't say no.
Archive Date: December 18, 1999
Category: First-time, Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Feedback: Listen--I've got three things on my list for Christmas. They are:
Qui-Gon alive, a chance to talk with Lucas, and feedback. I ain't gonna get
the first two...but you could make me happy and send the third.
Notes: This is supposed to be written by Obi-Wan at some point during
Anakin's training, several years after Naboo.
Pairing: Q/O
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Yup.
Summary: Obi-Wan remembers a Tatooine night.
Warnings: Follows canon.
We made love for the first and last time on a patch of green grass in the middle of the desert under the starry sky.
Come whatever may, I'll never forget that night.
Qui-Gon had contacted me to talk about Anakin's midichlorian count. When he sent the blood sample through I had been amazed--even Master Yoda didn't have a midichlorian count that high!
As I told him that, I could almost feel his nod.
"No Jedi has," he'd said, words slightly hushed, as though he were awed by this discovery.
I asked what he meant and he hesitated, replied that he wasn't sure.
I thought he was going to click off then, but after a short pause he spoke again.
"Obi-Wan," and those syllables went through me like a bolt of lightning, "meet me halfway between the ship and the city. And bring my robe."
It wasn't the words that gave his purpose away, it was the soft sultry tone. My body went hot as I breathed out an obedient "Yes, Master." The comlink went off, I seized my robe and his, and made my way out of the ship, erecting a barrier of Force that would prevent anyone from entering.
Walking over the desert, trembling with eager anticipation, is one of the sweetest memories I have. I knew-knew for a certainty-that at last the wait was over. He hadn't invited me out there just to talk.
When I was twenty, we had confessed our love for each other in a precious scene that I will always hold dear. We had agreed, however, not to act upon that love until my Knighthood, for fear that the change from apprentice to lover might jeopardize my training. Though it was difficult and at times nearly impossible, we had held to our promise, never going farther than some kisses and the occasional endearment. We were Jedi, after all, and able to withstand the temptation of one another.
But, for some reason, Qui-Gon had now decided not to wait any longer. Why, I did not know, but the Force sang with the rightness of it. It was as though it had been decreed before the dawn of time that on this night and no other, should Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi demonstrate their love for each other.
I was almost dancing over the sand. The cool night breeze whispered, "At last! At last!" over my body. The stars gazed upon my delighted movement with silent amusment.
I walked over one of the sand dunes, now seeing the lights of Mos Espa far dim in the distance. In the hollow valley between dunes, a little grass was growing. I stopped, and looked at it in wonder.
Brave grass, to grow on a planet so barren, to avoid trampling animals and hot wind, to struggle in the heat of the suns and finally fail.
Perhaps I could help it grow. I cast about me with the Force, reaching underground and shifting a low-lying water channel so that the roots of the grasses could find nourishment just below the surface of the earth. Then I knelt, pressing my forehead and hands to the hot yellow blades, willing a week's growth in a moment, a month's in a day.
The grass went from brown to green, from hot and dry to cool and soft, in a single breathless moment.
Before Qui-Gon walked over into the valley, there was a bed of grass where only a few blades had been before, fresh and clean, almost large enough to lie down on.
I stood, laughing softly, refreshed beyond words just from touching something green, as I felt him move to me and take me in his arms.
We kissed before we even spoke, a too-brief brush of lips, but a promise of things to come.
I drew back, desiring an answer first.
"Can you not feel it everywhere, Obi-Wan?" he answered when I asked him why. "It is time."
"What of my knighthood and our promise?" I asked.
He smiled in his odd solemn way.
"You'll be a knight before the year is out, love," he said. "And it occurs to me that life is uncertain."
I smiled back.
"You didn't say that when I was twenty."
He lifted my chin to look in my eyes.
"Maybe I should have, my Padawan."
And then we were kissing again, his mouth on mine, our tongues dueling for position.
We fell to the ground at the same time, lost somewhere in the intense pleasure of that kiss. On our knees, we separated, bodies still against each other, his hand holding my braid, my arms wrapped around him.
"We should...ohhh...get out of these clothes..." I said, trying to maintain composure and failing badly.
"Yes, Padawan," he answered, moving away, beginning to tug at my tunic and belt.
We undressed each other, hands roving familiar territory with an unfamiliar hunger.
I laid our robed on the patch of grass I'd grown and fell back against them, hand gesturing to where he stood, splendidly naked in the starlight, watching my wanton display with fierce desire.
I was only given a moment to appreciate the sight, for he was over me, pressing me into the ground, almost before I could draw a breath.
We hissed with pleasure simultaneously, mouths meeting like they belonged together, erections brushing against each other.
For a moment, I, losing all capacity for thought or reason, arched against him, desiring only completion now! Then he, obviously trying to keep control, moved away a littler, falling off me.
"I want you in me," he gasped, hair tumbling over his shoulders as he leaned over me.
Breathing hard, I stared at him for a moment, trying not to come just from the sound of those words spoken by the man I loved more than anything.
I recovered, remembering that I still lived after a minute, reached out and took the small bottle of oil from his hand, unscrewed the cap with shaking fingers and moved to prepare him. '
"Face to face," he whispered, answering my unspoken question, and spread his legs, drawing his knees up.
I made a small whimpering sound at that beautiful sight; my love, my Master, so desiring, so aflame!
Hands trembling, I touched him most intimately, felt him move against my fingers, heard a wordless moan.
I could not wait much longer. I pressed into him, found warm heat and welcome there.
We moved together, caught in a timeless web of motion. I was ice and fire, burning and freezing at the same time.
Our minds reached out, finding welcome there too. We sank into a maddening spiral of delight, escalating rapidly into ecstasy.
We burned into each other, for a few seconds knit together as though we were but one body and mind.
Then everything fell away and I collapsed onto him as we both shuddered, crying out words that I cannot remember.
I can only assume that moments must have passed, because when I returned to myself he was stroking my hair gently.
"Qui-Gon...ahhh...beloved," I heard myself whisper.
"Obi-Wan, love," he answered, no louder.
Silence settled over as we lay in each other's arms, for some reason exhausted, drained by the desperation of our union.
I think we slept, and woke again before the dawn. This time the love-making was slower, but no less sweet, gentle kisses, and bodies moving together under the stars.
As light began to appear in the sky, we rose, dressed, and spoke a few words casually. Keeping our speech on light topics, we talked of Anakin and his chances in the race, also the fact that 'Padme' and the Queen were one and the same. I smiled at my Master, my confidence high.
After this I would never see Tatooine in the same light again. To me it was now no barren desert, but a land of honey and wine.
Just before light spread itself over the plateaus, we kissed goodbye and I walked back to the ship dreamily.
We never made love again. My foolish stubborness and the red saber of a Sith saw to that.
But I can tell you--I would rather have had that one night with my Qui-Gon than an eternity with anyone else. It may have only been a single sacred act of love, but it was with him and that is all that matters.
I wonder if that grass still grows on Tatooine. One day I may go and find out.