Archive: Sure, if you want it.
Archive Date: February 12, 2000
Category: AU
Disclaimer: They belong to George Lucas. No one would pay me for this.
Feedback: would be very nice.
Notes: 'Me caes bien.' literally means 'You fall well to me.' in Spanish. In normal use, it means, 'You're cool.'
Pairing: Obi-Wan/Darth Maul
Rating: NC-17

It has been another long day at the Temple for Obi-Wan, a long day at the end of a long week. While he tries to relax and forget about it all, he remembers what he had done to deal with his last infinitely long day. He'd taken a walk in the Senate Gardens. He'd met a most intriguing man there, who had convinced him to go swimming and then kissed him. The kiss was the most memorable part. Of course, before then he'd explored his body alone and with a few of the other Padawans, but none of them kissed like this man. It had been more passionate than a week of wet dreams, and it was a simple kiss. Another kiss like that would get him out of the stress he's feeling, he's sure of that. When he finishes the last lesson of the day, Obi-Wan hurries back to his quarters and puts in a call to the comm number that he had scratched on a leaf.

The screen goes blank, and a few seconds later, the face he's been dreaming about for a few weeks appears. Maul has red and black tattoos that cover, and, if Obi-Wan isn't delusional, most of the rest of his skin, too. The horns are another unmistakable feature. "Oh, hello. What's going on?"

"Um. I was wondering--" if you'd like to go to bed with me. No, Obi-Wan, you can't just go and say that, it'd be rude. "--if you'd like to go out dancing with me tonight."

The face on the holoscreen grins. "Sure. Where and when?"

"Do you know where the Rocket Plane is?"

"Yeah."

"Meet me there at 2200."

"See you there." Maul cuts the connection, still grinning. On the other end, Obi-Wan puts one hand to his mouth, reliving the memory of that kiss again. It occurs to him that anyone who kisses like that has to be a sight on the dance floor. He'll have to use all the time he has to get ready.

The Rocket Plane isn't crowded because it's still early. The few people dancing on the floor aren't having all that much fun. And, most importantly, no intriguingly tattooed, horned man is waiting for Obi-Wan. Not yet. He checks his wrist chrono: 2147. To kill time, he orders a beer and sits at the bar, staying alert for new arrivals. When he looks at himself in the mirrored wall behind the bar, he doesn't see a Jedi Padawan. His trademark braid is wrapped around his forehead as sort of a sweatband, making it less obvious. Instead of his usual beige and brown robes, he's wearing a black lace shirt and tight leather pants. The cosmetics accentuating Obi-Wan's eyes increase the departure from his normal appearance. He likes the effect. He can tell that other people in the bar like it, too. The appreciative glances and winks are not all that new to him, but they're more overt than they usually are when he's on a mission with his master or in his Jedi robes. He finds that he likes the attention.

Eventually, Maul makes an entrance. He does it impressively, clad in a pair of pants made out of some sort of nearly liquid plastic in matte black and a matching shirt. One of the dancers stops to look at him and whistles. Obi-Wan represses the desire to glare, and instead beckons to Maul. "Nice to see you." He has hardly said the words before his head is grabbed unceremoniously, along with his ass, and he's being well and truly kissed. The memory doesn't live up to the real thing, Obi-Wan notices. The desire starts at his groin and moves steadily outward from there.

When they come up for air, Maul says, "Yeah, nice to see you, too. Do you want to dance or drink or what?"

Obi-Wan tosses back the rest of his beer and says decisively, "Dance." It isn't what he really wants to do, but it will suffice for a while. The faster songs give Obi-Wan a chance to cool off. Then another song starts, one he recognizes from clubbing with a few of his classmates. The tempo is perfect for his mood, demanding slow grinds from the dancers. The kisses pale by comparison. He tries to keep his eyes open, but has to close them after a minute to get his emotions under control.

When he does that, Maul grabs his arm. "What are you doing?" he asks in a harsh voice.

"Trying to stop myself from wanting to throw you against the wall," Obi Wan says, trying to make it into a joke, even though it's true. He feels like he should be blushing, but he can't tell if he is.

"Why?" Maul's hand caresses his ass as they dance. Obi-Wan should stop this, he knows, but it's too much fun. More than fun.

"No reason." Obi-Wan takes similar liberties with his partner, admiring the muscle tone of the flesh under his hands.

"Then cut it out." That is reinforced with a not-so-gentle pinch, which does nothing to help Obi-Wan keep himself under control. The song ends, and he decides that dancing would be a bad idea, and too difficult in his present state. Instead, he leads Maul to a table and kisses him again. Maul asks, "What was that you said about throwing me against the wall?"

"That it would be a good idea." If we have to talk, we can at least grope each other, thinks Obi-Wan, and applies himself to the task.

"Are there many Padawans arrested in here?"

"Not yet."

"You still want to dance?"

"Not really."

"Then let's go somewhere else." With that, Maul drags him to the door, and heads for another club.

They finally reach a private club, but apparently Maul is a member. No one seems inclined to pester them, at least. Inside, there aren't too many people dancing. Instead, the patrons seem to be more interested in kissing or engaging in various forms of sex on chairs, tables, and the occasional mattress on the floor. "Oh." Obi-Wan has heard about places like this, but he's never visited one. It isn't against the Temple rules, per se, but it's probably not a great idea to be seen there.

"Don't worry," Maul says in his ear. "If somebody sees the braid, they'll probably think we're roleplaying."

"Oh?" He thinks that's rather funny. "Do you bring many guys here dressed as Padawans?"

"Yeah."

That should bother me, Obi-Wan thinks. It should, but it doesn't. I don't care. I want to kiss him again. "Oh." He indulges his whim, exploring Maul's mouth with his tongue while he strokes his ass. After a while, they find a comfortable wall, and Obi-Wan is pressed against it with a tongue down his throat and a cock grinding against his own. Playing around with other Padawans had never been this violent, or this public. This was more interesting. "Um," he says, when he can talk for a moment. "I was going to throw you against the wall, wasn't I?"

"How about next time?" Maul grins at him, then strokes Obi-Wan's cock through his pants.

Obi-Wan moans. "Okay."

"I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere." Maul leaves him leaning against the wall and talks to the bartender for a minute. Then he comes back with a little tube of something and a leer. "Can you stand up well enough to turn around?"

Anticipation nearly makes him fall down, but Obi-Wan manages to unfasten his pants and pull them down. Warm hands caress his ass again, and he decides that leaning against the wall is a very good idea. He presses his cheek against it. When eager fingers, coated with something slippery, explore his body, he sighs and relaxes into the sensation. It grows as they start stroking in and out. "Do you know how you look right now?" Maul asks him. The only answer he can give is a moan. "Jedi boy, you're ruining the reputation of the Order." The fingers leave him, and his hips move against the wall. He catches his breath when are replaced by a hard cock, and his fingers clench against the wall when Maul starts to move.

Obi-Wan thinks in some detached part of his mind that he hasn't been so content in months. He's been lusting after his master, who certainly loves him, but never shows a sign of desire or warmth. With this stranger, he doesn't feel any love, but the lust is all there and then some. He stops thinking about it when an eager hand starts stroking his cock, urging him towards orgasm.

In a small practice room, Qui-Gon looks at his Padawan and shakes his head. "Your concentration is atrocious today. What's bothering you?"

Obi-Wan tries not to blush. "Nothing, Master." He hopes that he won't have to explain himself.

"You should be able to hold your thoughts more readily than this. You have the rest of the day to practice it. Don't move."

Obi-Wan stifles his complaints. "Yes, Master."

"I'll leave you to that, then." Qui-Gon says and leaves the training room. Obi-Wan sighs in relief. He's glad that his master respects his privacy enough to back off. It'd be very embarrassing to have to explain that he's dreaming about a complete stranger who took possession of his body on his last rest day. The sex has definitely changed Obi-Wan's thought patterns for a while. The physical release helps him to relax more fully. He has more to think about now, though, because Maul's mind had very tight shields. Obi-Wan isn't used to sharing his body with someone whom he can't read at all. Most Padawans cave under intimate touches, and Obi-Wan knows that he is no exception. Every time he tried to read Maul, though, his probes didn't touch more than surface emotions. He hadn't brought it up afterward. If he admitted that he could not see his partner's thoughts, he would also admit that he had been looking, and that was an invasion. It was enough of an embarrassment that he was weaker than this untrained man. What might Maul have seen of his own thoughts?

He tries to convince himself that, other than the attempted invasion of privacy, he shouldn't feel guilty about any of it. Jedi aren't prohibited from sexual contact, and can find willing partners on most planets. They are supposed to be discreet, though, to maintain the Order's image on more conservative planets. Any Jedi caught having sex in a public place would have a few words from the Council. Obi-Wan knows that he should tell his master about the situation so that he can clear his conscience and make sure that there are no repercussions, but he does not know quite what happened. That scares him.

He isn't sure, but he thinks he felt Maul using the Force. None of the patterns he sensed were at all familiar, so he has attributed the feelings to their activity. The night had been full of enough new experiences without wondering about the Dark Side, too. New experiences were overwhelming on their own. When he'd woken up in early afternoon, with several different substances drying on his skin, he'd realized that it was possible to feel completely wonderful and completely spent at the same time.

His conscience interrupts his musings with a discreet cough. He ought to be meditating and trying to improve his concentration, not concentrating on his distraction. Obi-Wan starts breathing more deeply and slowing his mind. His good intentions are thwarted by his body. It is demanding a fantasy about that night, and doesn't want to take no for an answer. Obi Wan wants to touch himself. At first, he sets aside the desire and considers it for a few minutes. Qui-Gon would never need to know about it. It might help him get the whole incident out of his system. It could easily center him again. And, really, he doesn't need to move at all, so he won't be breaking his master's injunction.

Obi-Wan concentrates, summoning all his memories of sex. He can almost smell his own sweat again, almost feel his cheek pressed into the wall, almost taste Maul as the phantom came in his mouth. Using light touches of the Force, he creates an invisible hand to stroke himself. He relives the memory from beginning to end, letting the spectral hand mimic anything and everything that had given him pleasure. At the peak of it, he only cries out in his own mind, but there is another voice screaming with him.

The next morning, Obi-Wan is eating breakfast when Qui-Gon walks into the shared part of their quarters. "You didn't do what I told you to do."

"Yes, I did."

The bearded face creases in a frown. "Don't lie to me. Perhaps you followed the letter of my instructions, but I know you. I know what you did."

Obi-Wan blushes, as he does so often. "I had hoped that it would help me center myself and forget my distractions.

"Did it work?" The question, unlike the face that delivers it, is patient.

"No, Master." Obi-Wan examines his breakfast minutely as an excuse to look away from his frowning master.

"Remember that. Giving in to temptation never makes it go away. It only strengthens it. That is why the Dark Side is so seductive. Everyone who tries it says, 'Just once, I can give in, and then I can set it aside.' But anyone who says that is wrong. And it was wrong for you to disobey me."

"Yes, Master."

"I will be going on a diplomatic mission to Verrat. I leave in the morning, without you. You must be more focused before I will take you on a trip as important as this will be. I will leave you under Master Yoda's eyes. I don't know how long I will be gone."

"But Master, I can be in control. Let me come with you," Obi-Wan says, beginning to become desperate enough to meet his master's eyes again.

Qui-Gon shakes his head. "If you cannot meditate alone without giving in to an urge, you cannot come with me."

"But Master--" Obi-Wan stands up and walks around the table, holding out a hand in supplication.

Qui-Gon turns his back on his apprentice. "No. You don't understand the magnitude of what you have lost. When Xanatos first defied me to act on a whim, I dismissed it. I took him on the next mission, hoping that it would clear his mind. I was wrong. It only made him worse. Taking him showed him that his defiance was right."

"I'm not Xanatos," Obi-Wan says. At the strength in his voice, Qui-Gon turns to face him.

"No, you're not. I knew that there was danger in him, that I had to be careful from the start. You were not like this, like him a month ago. You cannot fall but by your own will, that is the Code. But what if your will is not your own?" Qui-Gon embraces Obi-Wan hard enough to push the breath out of the boy, and asks, "What holds you in its power?" He lets go enough to put his Padawan at arm's length and trace one finger down the boy's cheek. "Where is your innocence?"

Obi-Wan puts a hand to his cheek to hold the stroking fingers. "I lost it, Master. I could not wait any longer, I could not just be your Padawan anymore. But I am not lost yet, I know it. I took a step away from you. Show me the way back. Please."

"This is not right. You are falling. You were pure, you belonged to yourself the last time I saw your heart. You don't, now."

"No, Master, you're wrong. I fell in love with you before I lost any of my innocence. This is right." He leans forward, everything about him yearning to be kissed. Qui-Gon lets his hand go and backs away.

"I will not drag you down, and I will not allow you to pull me with you. Padawan, you are more than the sum of your desires. Rise above them. Put them behind you. Now, before they conquer you." The command in his voice is a compulsion that Obi-Wan cannot escape. He can feel the words burning themselves into his memory.

"Master, I don't need you to satisfy my desires. I can find that anywhere. I know how. I only want your love, though it would make my heart sing to have more from you." Obi-Wan's brow creases, and he tries to touch Qui Gon again.

Qui-Gon shakes his head. "Don't you see, I love you more than anything, Obi-Wan. That is why I cannot let you do this to yourself. Control yourself." That is another command that few apprentices could deny, especially with the weight of the Force woven into it. Obi-Wan sits down at the table, takes several deep breaths, and begins eating his cold breakfast. "I love you, my Padawan, but I do not desire you, and I will not. You are my apprentice. You will only be my apprentice, not my lover."

Obi-Wan feels rejected. He knows he can get plenty of sympathy. Most of the Padawans desire their masters for a while, and the masters usually ignore them until the apprentices find some better target for their affections. He makes a mental note not to tease anyone who's 'got it bad' ever again. "Yes, Master. I don't understand, but I will try."

"What about your desires?"

"You said it yourself, that this is all my own will. If you try to control me while you are away, if Master Yoda binds me hand and foot every moment that I am alone, then I will never learn the lesson I should have learned yesterday. I don't know that I am ready to learn it. I don't know if I will ever be."

"Do you know what that could mean, if you never learn?" The blue gaze meeting Obi-Wan's nervous eyes is steady and calm. Obi-Wan doesn't look away this time.

"Yes. It could mean that, that I would never become a Jedi. That I might fall."

"We should not have this discussion now. You have the time of my mission to heal, to let this go and learn from it. You can do that. You will."

"I can only try."

"Another would try. You will succeed." Qui-Gon kisses Obi-Wan on the forehead, granting him a benediction. "I know you, Obi-Wan. You can do this. You have only to set your mind to it."

Obi-Wan says nothing. Qui-Gon leaves him alone with his breakfast.

"You have been better than this, Padawan," Yoda says as Obi-Wan works his way through a kata. "Something has distracted you, hmm?"

"Yes, Master Yoda, but I am learning to ignore it," Obi-Wan says as he finished his routine and bows to his observer.

"Important, that is. Many distractions there are in the world, and you must learn to face see only the most important things. You must learn this. If you learn now, that is good." Obi-Wan nods. "A lesson you have now. Dismissed you are."

"Thank you, Master." Obi-Wan goes back to his quarters first to clean up and check his messages. There are two letters waiting for him, one from Master Qui-Gon and another from an unfamiliar sender. The first one is programmed to play as soon as he checks his mail.

"Obi-Wan, I hope you are doing well. The trip to Verrat was, as it has always been, quite long and dull, and the mission will hopefully remain thus. I find that I miss your conversation, but that would not have been a good reason to take you with me. When you meditate next, I want you to consider the effects a long journey away from the Temple might have had on you. Remember also that you are not taking that journey, and keep yourself separate from the conjectures. May the Force be with you, my Padawan."

Obi-Wan sits down on his bed and replays the message, thinking about it. He's glad that he has a few minutes before his next class, because he wants to think. A long journey without the ability to go to the gardens and lose himself among the trees there, without the positive distractions of his friends, might very well have been disastrous. It's taken Obi-Wan three days to be able to lose himself in meditation again. Master Yoda has been commenting about his lapses, but not specifically about their causes. Obi Wan knows perfectly well why he's so off-kilter; he doesn't need a Jedi Master to point it out to him. After thinking for a few minutes, he plays the next message, and his self-control goes out the window.

The recording clearly shows Obi-Wan in a most compromising position with a horned young man of his acquaintance and doing nothing to show that he's uncomfortable with the situation. "Hey. You called me last time, I guess I owe you one." Maul's voice was unmistakable. "We should get together tonight. Meet me at 2200. You know where." The fact that Obi Wan does know disturbs him. He should be able to ignore this, to send another message back saying he's busy, but he doesn't, because he can't.

"Listen, if you go, this will get worse," he tells himself, and thinks longingly of his master lightyears away. He shakes his head. Qui-Gon might claim to love him, but there was no proof. Obi-Wan doesn't let himself think about his master. The rejection is still stinging in his mind. He knows what he can expect from Qui-Gon, and he wants to avoid that. He's looking forward to what he can receive from Maul, if their last encounter was any indication. He's looking forward to it. The lecture on temptation comes back to him as he tries to control his physical reaction. "You have to stay here tonight," he says aloud, wishing that he could place some sort of compulsion on himself. He leaves for his next lesson without resolving the matter.

The doorman winks at him when he arrives, which bothers him somewhat. He doesn't want to be infamous, and being recognized is a hefty step in that direction. Maybe the doorman winks at everyone, or maybe he has a twitch. That's probably not the answer, but it satisfies Obi-Wan for a while.

This time, when he shows up, Maul is waiting for him. Naked. That isn't very good for Obi-Wan's self control, but then, if he had much of that left, he wouldn't have walked in the door at all. Maul says, "Hi," with his usual grin, and kisses him. The contact is everything that has been distracting Obi-Wan from his meditations. The invading tongue is as divine as it was the first time it parted his lips. He can feel his brain melting under the touch of Maul's lips and hands.

When they come up for air, they go to work on Obi-Wan's unnecessary clothes. It takes something like way too long and not long enough for them to come off, even thought he's half aware that both of them are using the Force. He doesn't have time to worry about that, because he's against a wall again, and Maul is licking his cock. He briefly remembers someone saying something about how giving in to desire doesn't make it go away, and how he wasn't supposed to ever do this again. That's not particularly relevant, though, not with that tongue stroking him. After a few minutes while self-control rapidly ebbs, Maul looks up at him and says, "It was your turn to throw me against a wall, wasn't it?" His voice practically bats its eyelashes.

Obi-Wan manages to say, "Yeah, I think so," in what he thinks is a off-hand tone of voice. The casual effect is somewhat spoiled by his crimson blush and the wobble in the words. The point gets across pretty well, though. Maul stands up to give him another kiss and leans into him, grinding their cocks together. "Something about a wall," Obi-Wan says on the end of a gasp. He makes an effort to turn Maul around, running his hands down the other man's back. His fingers stroke the muscular buttocks in front of him and dip between them. Maul groaned and spread his legs. Obi-Wan's fingers slipped into the eager opening underneath them and earned a hiss of breath from Maul. Something that is rather like a hand caresses his cock, but he can see that both of Maul's hands are braced against the wall. The touch comes again, and this time it is colder. He touches himself with his free hand and finds that his cock is slippery. There is a reason for this, but he sees the obvious use right in front of him. Cause and effect is not relevant beyond the point where he pushes himself into Maul and it feels good.

Obi-Wan takes a transport home in the morning, feeling content. He wonders what terrible things the interlude will do to his concentration, but he doesn't particularly care. Everything seems far away except the memories of sex, which is much more interesting than the lessons he has to listen to today. He thinks that, if Maul isn't busy, he'd like to see him tonight, again, and the next night, maybe. Master Yoda would say that he should study instead, but that doesn't matter. He is tired of boring meditation that doesn't accomplish anything, of dull missions that drag on without anything happening. Life is more exciting after dark, with secret thrills and knowing that if he's ever caught, he'll be in serious trouble. Something about the danger makes it all that much more intense.

He's late to his lesson with his surrogate master. Yoda's only comment is that he might not finish the day's meditation. Obi-Wan closes his eyes and tries to clear his mind, but serenity is nowhere to be found. His memory replays scenes from the night before, distracting him. They refuse to go away and leave him alone, no matter how hard he pushes them. After fighting them for what feels like forever, he sighs and lets them roll over him.

A sharp pain in his side brings his eyes open. Yoda is watching him, looking very concerned. "You have not learned to resist temptation yet, Padawan. Concentrate you must. Distractions are everywhere. Shut them out of your mind."

"I can't." He hadn't realized it until the words come out of his mouth, but now that he'd said it, it seemed obvious. He has lost his ability to concentrate at some point, and it isn't going to come back because he's asked it nicely.

Yoda frowns. "You were fighting before. Why did you give in?"

Obi-Wan stands, disgusted. "I can't fight it anymore. There's too much in the world that I'll never see if I stay here. I'm leaving." He strides out of the room in a huff, slamming the door behind him. A master in the hallway turns and looks at him as he storms past. Once he reaches the end of the hall, he realizes that he doesn't know where to go if he really leaves the Temple. But, equally, he can't stay.

He walks to the quarters he shares with his master and packs the few things that are his in a travel bag. As he is folding his last shirt, the communit starts beeping insistently. He knows without having to look at the unit that Master Yoda is calling him, and that if he listens to the message he will be compelled to stay, and probably Force pushed to sleep. Obi-Wan ignores it. He looks at his lightsaber speculatively and decides to take it. If nothing else, he can sell the parts for a good price.

He leaves as quickly as he can, escaping through the kitchen entrance to avoid Yoda and others who would surely try to stop him. One of the cooks waves to him and yells a greeting, but he ignores it and leaves. Once he's outside the Temple, he realizes what he's done. He wants the separation to hurt more than it does. Leaving this behind shouldn't be as easy as walking out of the door. Part of his mind says that he should turn around and go back, that there's no place for him anywhere else. He pushes it aside and goes to the nearest store, where there is a public holocomm.

He uses a few credits to put in a call to Maul's private number. "Hey, it's me."

"What's up, other than the obvious?"

He doesn't know quite how to explain. He's not sure exactly what he's done, yet. "I left the Temple."

Maul laughs at that, which is not the response Obi-Wan expected. "It wasn't the right place for you. Come over, you can talk to my boss, we'll give you some kind of job to keep you busy."

"Really?" This is better than he'd hoped. Almost too good, but he pushes away that thought.

"Sure. I bet he'll like you. See you in a few."

Obi-Wan arrives at Maul's apartment holding his bag of clothes very tightly. On the way, he has had to dodge two different Jedi who were looking for him. The euphoria of doing something different has definitely worn off. The enthusiastic kiss from Maul doesn't bring it back. "Those bastards were stifling you," Maul says when he lets Obi-Wan go. The room around them is bare and bland, and doesn't hold the echoes of life being lived as most homes do. It is sparsely furnished, holding only a couch, a chair, and a low table. There are only two doors, one to the hallway outside, and another leading deeper into the apartment.

"Do you think so?" He's distracted. His bag isn't in his hands. It's sitting on the sofa across the room, but he didn't put it there, and he knows Maul didn't take it. There have been two hands on his body for several minutes straight. That stirs a memory he's kept buried, and he thinks about it. "Where did you learn to use the Force?" Obi-Wan comes out of his daze with a bang and absolutely no sense of subtlety.

"The Force? Oh, the bag trick." Maul's tone makes light of it, but Obi-Wan is determined to get answers.

"And the lube trick last night. And you have the strongest mental shields I've ever felt on anyone but a Jedi Council member."

"I know." Maul is a bit more subdued, and rightfully proud.

Obi-Wan is getting less subdued by the minute. "Why?" He tries to make himself relax, but he's getting angrier. "Tell me."

"I can't yet."

After ten breaths from a simple relaxing meditation, he nearly yells, "Why not?"

Maul smirks, at the question or at Obi-Wan's lack of composure. "Now, that would be telling, wouldn't it? I don't feel like talking. Wouldn't you rather kiss?"

Obi-Wan's tone has a definite edge of anger to it. He knows that his tone is most unbecoming of a Padawan, but he's too angry to change it. "You know perfectly well why I'm here. I came to find out if I could get a job with your employer. If I have some other reason, explain it to me, and then tell me why you know how to use the Force. And then I won't kill you slowly."

"Don't lie to yourself anymore. You're here because you want your master, and he brushed you off. You want me, and I want you."

That sounds like an oversimplification to Obi-Wan, who is fingering his lightsaber and glaring. "You think I left the Jedi Temple where I have spent years of my life, because I want to have sex with you?"

"Yes."

He thinks about it for a few moments, and then sits on the couch, acknowledging defeat. "I guess you're right."

Maul straddles his legs and sits on his lap facing him, then unbuckles Obi Wan's belt. "And once we're done, are you going to go back?" Obi-Wan thinks that this is a particularly good question, in that he has no idea what the answer is. He's sure that the Jedi will track him down and drag him back, if only to officially take him off the roster. Qui-Gon is going to be very upset when he hears about this, if he hasn't already. "Fuck him," Maul says, interrupting Obi-Wan's thoughts. He wonders if he spoke, but he's pretty sure he didn't.

"If I could do that, I wouldn't be here, would I?" He knows it isn't funny, but it's easier to make a joke out of it than ask Maul how he heard that.

"There's more than one way to fuck someone." One suggestion Maul offers is by nibbling on an ear. When that idea sinks in, Maul says quietly into the ear he has been nipping, "You could always pull a Xanatos."

That gets Obi-Wan's attention like a kick in the balls. He pushes Maul away, almost shoving him onto the floor. "How the hell do you know about him?"

"Your shields suck, and you've been comparing yourself to him since you walked in the door. I'm going to have to teach you a thing or two about keeping your ideas to yourself." Another more urgent lesson plan involves removing pants in a demonstration course, which gives Obi-Wan a chance to talk, but makes his answer less dignified and coherent than he wants to be.

"You shouldn't be able to read me."

"Probably not."

"But how can you?" Not that he really wants to know. He doesn't want to think about telepathy. He wants to get his own horribly tight pants off.

"I'll tell you later." Maul starts tending to the unspoken request. Boots go flying.

"No. Now." That has ragged bits of compulsion tied to it that, combined, might be able to convince Master Yoda to talk with poor sentence structure.

"No. Did you want to have sex or not?" It is nearly a rhetorical question. Why ask someone that when you've taken his pants off and are kneeling between his legs looking at his naked penis?

The answer should be no. Obi-Wan knows that. He should put his pants back on, pick up his things, and go back to the Temple as quickly as he can. He really ought to at least start by saying no. "Yes."

"I thought you'd never ask."

Maul nuzzles the cock that's looking up at him, then pulls Obi-Wan onto the floor with him. He bites Obi-Wan's neck hard, which makes him moan and struggle. "I have a question for you," Maul says then, his tone changing. Obi-Wan rolls over and looks at him. His eyes are glazed over and his brain is definitely not working.

"What? Why'd you stop?" He doesn't try to keep the petulant tone out of his voice.

As an answer, there is a brief flicker of something that is definitely Maul using the Force. He stands up and holds out two lightsaber handles to Obi Wan, who sits up to look. One is of an unfamiliar design, and the other is Obi-Wan's own blade.

"Choose now."

"What do you mean?" Reality is still rather far away from his mind, but it comes back at Maul's next words.

"I am a Sith." A rush of adrenaline counteracts the frustration in Obi Wan's body, fueled by fear. A Sith. That explains all the little inconsistencies. "Take your lightsaber and fight me as a good Jedi would, or take mine and acknowledge what your heart already knows."

"My heart?" Obi-Wan looks up at Maul--the Sith, he corrects himself. He should call the Temple immediately. He probably can't defeat an opponent of such strength by himself. Something in the back of his mind is making him listen, though, and so he does.

"You're not leaping up to slay me. Have you realized, then, that no real Jedi would ever give in to his passion as you have done? Would any real Jedi leave the Temple to visit his boyfriend in the middle of the day?"

The answer to that is painfully obvious. Obi-Wan starts defending himself. "You've been manipulating me. You're using the Force to make me want you." He still does, even if Maul is a Sith. That disturbs him greatly. To give up his chance to be a Jedi in order to kiss a Sith was a very selfish decision.

"No. I only kissed you and opened the place where you keep your lust a little bit. You went back into that place with me, time and again, because it felt good, even though you knew it was wrong." Maul is rather smug, and Obi-Wan knows that he's right. "You fell on your own. You were angry."

Obi-Wan turns pale, looking away. "I didn't mean to get angry." He is silent for a moment, then protests to Maul and to the Force, "I wanted more than this. I wanted to be a Jedi."

"Did you? Kill me if you can, purge yourself of this sin, but can you escape your lust?"

The choice is clear before him in his mind, one path leading to light, and, perhaps, death, the other leading into darkness. Neither seems to be what he's always dreamed of as his future. The Force has guided him his whole life, whether he knew to listen to it or not. If he goes back tomorrow, the Jedi won't want him. They won't teach him. They won't want him to use the Force. "I hate you." But if Maul is a Sith, then the Force is not closed to him. Obi-Wan decides.

"That's not a very Jedi thing to say."

Obi-Wan looks his lover in the eye. He takes one of the lightsabers. "No, it isn't."

There is a flash of movement, and he finds himself naked, his legs pinned to the floor by the equally naked Sith sitting on them. The lightsaber he has chosen is ignited in his hand, and the blade is at a very short setting. "You're never going back," Maul says. It has the air of a question that one asks when one knows the answer.

"No." There was no future in the Temple except death. Obi-Wan could see that all too clearly. Darkness might hide death, but the hope of something more was there, calling.

"Cut off the braid."

His hand trembles, alarmingly so while it holds a lit lightsaber. Cutting off this braid renounces the Temple. Deciding in his mind is different than proving his decision to the world. For a brief moment, he wonders if he is fast enough to kill Maul like this, and then the thought is gone. He sits up, bringing his face close to Maul's, and cuts off the braid cleanly. The scent of burnt hair mixes with the scents of ozone and sex in the room. He shuts off the lightsaber. Maul throws it aside with a wave of the Force and pushes Obi-Wan's shoulders to the floor, then kisses him soundly. Their minds brush. Maul keeps his shields down this time. Obi-Wan gasps at the power he can feel in the other man. If he can have that strength, it is worth any price.

"This was all a plot, wasn't it? You wanted me to be corrupt and miserable so you could kiss me and make me want you."

Maul's hand, insistent as ever, strokes his penis. "You will be stronger for all of this."

Obi-Wan imagines that he can feel the Dark in the emotionless touch. The enormity of his decision is clearer now. The future is frightening. "Let me go." Obi-Wan tries to free himself, but his hands are pinned over his head by the same Force that he has used for years. His attempt to free himself by the same mechanism fails. The Force slips through his mental grasp, whirled away by his own chaotic thoughts.

"Why? You came here for sex, didn't you?"

"I am not the man who walked in your door." Frustration and anger are not helping him get closer to serenity. He feels like his change should be painfully obvious to Maul as it is to him. The coercion that might not have happened before is certainly happening now. Though Maul is smaller, he holds the other man down easily through all of Obi-Wan's struggles.

"Your lust will make you stronger."

"I hate you." He hasn't felt this sensation for years, but it is easy to name. That isn't all he feels. Desire has been on the surface of his feelings for Maul from the start. He wants Maul. He wants the power Maul must have to be able to do this to him. The pain of losing his dreams is not there as strongly as part of his mind insists it should be. Instead, there is the hope that they are not destroyed. Here there is no love, as there was none at the Temple. Here is power that no Jedi would touch. Here is lust that no Jedi should acknowledge. He wants Maul. He wants a Sith.

"I know." Maul rocks his hips against Obi-Wan's prone form, rubbing his erection against his captive's body, then almost tenderly kisses the naked chest beneath him. "You hate me. But you still want me."

It is too late to lie, and it would be pointless. Maul seems to hear his thoughts more clearly as time goes by. "Yes." The conflicts of his situation overcome him and he screams the word. trying to rid himself of the emotions that will not cease tormenting him. It does no good. When the relief offered by screaming fades, Maul is still holding him on the floor, still playing with his damnably responsive body.

"You're falling. Your master would not catch you, but I will."

"Sith lie." Obi-Wan groans and arches his back as Maul's tongue caresses his nipple.

"No. The truth is far too much fun." Maul shifts to the side and sits on the floor next to Obi-Wan. He licks the erect cock in front of him from root to head.

At that, Obi-Wan loses control and cries aloud, tears running down his face even as he reaches his climax. Sleep offers him a measure of peace, even if it is on the floor.

The next morning, he wakes up on a very comfortable bed with the covers pushed off the end. Maul apparently cleaned him up and lifted him onto a better place to sleep without waking him. That would explain the warm breath on his shoulder. More than the breath on his shoulder, he can feel someone's mind brushing against his. He does not know how to deal with that, so he ignores it and looks at his new surroundings, hoping that there will be some way to escape. They're in a bedroom, probably the place where the other door in the main room leads. Obi-Wan is in the inner chamber of the Sith's dwelling. What would his master say? He rolls onto his side, hoping to go back to sleep where he won't have to think about anything, but the motion wakes Maul.

"Good morning."

"My master will come looking for me," Obi-Wan says. "What will you do to him?" Qui-Gon rejected him, yes, but Obi-Wan is not ready to see his Master dead.

"Will you go with him?"

"I don't know." To go back to the Temple where he will not be wanted with a man who does not love him enough would be painful. It would be better to stay with Maul, who does not love him, but who knows things Obi-Wan cannot learn anywhere else. To go back to the Temple would be to lose Maul. He has already chosen between them once.

"What if he kisses you?"

The suggestion brings a flood of remembered fantasies to Obi-Wan's mind. He had wanted to live as Qui-Gon's equal. He had wanted to have sex with his master in various interesting ways. He had wanted his master to love him. Instead, Qui-Gon had rejected him. He is alone. No, not alone, he is in bed with a Sith. "He would never do that."

"He is not himself now."

Maul lazily runs a hand down Obi-Wan's side. He does not flinch at the touch, though part of his mind insists that he should not permit a creature of the Dark Side to touch him. It is wrong, but it feels the same as it ever did. He wants to think about the questions Maul has posed. Perhaps he can distract Maul with a question. "What do you mean?"

"He lost Xanatos. He lost you." The last sentence is a purr against Obi Wan's neck. The hand stroking his side reaches his penis and begins lavishing attention on it. The ministrations seem totally inappropriate to the conversation, and they definitely don't help him concentrate on it.

"But I fell by my own will." His conscience has stopped suggesting that he shove Maul's hand away. It dies a quiet little death along with part of his self respect as he rolls onto his back and spreads his legs slightly. The mind brushing against his opens to him more, and some of its lust bleeds into him.

His companion smiles at that. "Yes. But a good master would have protected you. Qui-Gon abandoned you."

Why is Maul still talking to him? It takes too much thought to string together words. "Didn't." He knows that it's a lie, as much as saying he doesn't want to be in bed with this particular Sith would be a lie.

"Don't worry now. Relax." That is enforced by a slight increase in speed of Maul's hand and the feeling of something entering his body. Obi-Wan's hips move, but the intrusion is something of the Force that he cannot escape. The sensations increase gradually. "Your master failed you. He wasn't worthy of your love."

Words. He has to answer this. "Hate you." He doesn't know if it is true, only that it should be true. He should hate Maul and everything Maul has done to him.

Maul says in his ear, "I know," before he bites the lobe gently. "That changes nothing."

The battle between physical pleasure and self disgust rages for several more minutes. Maul keeps talking, but Obi-Wan completely loses track of anything he is saying. His own problems are distracting enough without the benefit of Force-aided manipulations of his body. He feels like an experiment that Maul is dispassionately conducting in the reactions of the human nervous system to shock and sex. The results are enjoyable.

When he can talk again, he says, "I hate you."

Maul's hands caress his body, relaxing his muscles. "Does it matter if you do?"

Something in Obi-Wan's heart begs for love. "Yes!" If only Maul wasn't a Sith, if only Qui-Gon had loved him, then perhaps something would be right with the world.

"This doesn't feel good, then. You want me to stop." The hands withdraw from his back.

Reluctantly, he admits, "No."

"How do the Jedi feel about hedonists?"

"They're probably part of the Dark Side."

"Damned like the rest of us." Obi-Wan makes a noncommittal noise. He's not ready to accept that label. "At least we can comfort each other in the abyss."

That, at least, is something he can agree to do. "Yes." He turns to face Maul on the bed and embraces him with his free arm, then proceeds to give him a kiss without love but with plenty of lust.

They are interrupted by the sound of a lightsaber slicing through a door and a very distraught voice yelling, "Obi-Wan!" Obi-Wan abandons the kiss and sits up, looking toward the bedroom door and wondering if he could possibly present a more debauched image to his master. Several suggestions arise, some from his own mind and some from Maul's, but there is no time to implement any of them. Qui-Gon storms into the room with as little composure as his apprentice has ever seen. His serenity does not increase on seeing said apprentice naked. He shuts off his lightsaber. "What have you done to him?" Qui-Gon demands of Maul. Obi Wan takes advantage of the distraction to grab a sheet from the end of the bed.

"Nothing he didn't want me to do." Invisible fingers stroke Obi-Wan in sensitive places and he wriggles, even though he is embarrassed to show such a reaction in front of Qui-Gon.

The Jedi Master watches this use of the Force and becomes even more angry. "Let him go."

Maul puts on hand on his lover's shoulder. "Do you want to go with him, Obi-Wan?"

No answer to that question can make everything better. Obi-Wan decides to trust the Force to guide him to the most truthful answer. He stands by the bed, one hand clutching the sheet around his hips, then ties it into a knot and embraces his master, who seems ready to throw his Padawan over his shoulder and run home. Obi-Wan gives him a gentle kiss on the lips. "If you had loved me as much as you thought you did, this would never have happened." He lets the larger man go and merely looks up at him.

Even Jedi Masters can be speechless. They have a short recovery time, though. "You want to stay here? No. Return to the Temple with me."

Obi-Wan looks at him coldly. "I am free to leave the Temple, aren't I? I have. My companions are not your problem. You are not my master anymore." Anger and confusion have kept him from using the Force against Maul, but he finds enough control to lift his discarded braid from the floor and throw it in Qui-Gon's face. Jedi reflexes catch it without hesitation. "You failed me like you failed Xanatos. I will not return to the Temple."

Qui-Gon raises a hand to touch Obi-Wan's cheek. "What have I done to you, my sweet Padawan?"

Obi-Wan shoves the hand away. "You told me the truth, that you don't want me. I'm sure you'll find some perfect Padawan someday, some golden child who won't want you, whose heart won't be broken when you don't want him. I am not that boy. Leave."

"Leave you like this?" The question betrays anxiety as well as concern.

"I can make my own decisions. I'm not the stray boy you didn't want anymore. I'm an adult." Maul is quietly in the back of Obi-Wan's mind, supporting him. It is odd to find Maul in the place where Qui-Gon's presence usually is. The training bond he had with his master has somehow been superseded by another sort of bond with Maul. "You always taught me that Jedi fight for people's rights. Give me my freedom."

"This isn't right, Obi-Wan. I can't leave you here." The protest, though in as clear a tone as always, is wretched.

"You can, and you will. Go home to your safe Temple, Master Jinn. I don't belong there. I couldn't serve the Light any more than you could kiss me." He can feel the truth of what he is saying. He's been lying to himself and to Maul about his feelings since he walked into this apartment, but he does not lie to his Master. There is power in this truth. He does not let himself wonder if it is enough to save him. He catches a brief flash of Qui-Gon's thoughts as the last of their bond fades.

Qui-Gon stares at the stranger in front of him. This Obi-Wan is dignified, even though he is only wearing a sheet. His arrogant poise is impeccable. The Obi-Wan he remembers was an innocent child who loved nothing more than learning, who threw his heart and soul into everything he did. There is no sign of that treasured boy in this man, a man who is willing to cast away all that he has ever been to court evil and sleep in its bed. Perhaps the kiss of the demon has driven out Obi-Wan's soul. "Yes. That would be best. Forgive me." He nods to the pair and then leaves, the cast-off braid clutched in one hand and his lightsaber in the other.

When the damaged door closes behind Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan's knees give out and he collapses to the bed. "You were wonderful," Maul tells him, stroking his shoulders gently.

Obi-Wan pushes him away. "I didn't want any of this," he protests again. "Why am I here?"

"Go to your master if you were wrong. He will be glad to see you." That could be a rejection, but not with the deft fingers untying the sheet from his waist. Not with the thoughts touching his mind in the same way.

"That's impossible. I'll stay." Obi-Wan manages to smile weakly, and is rewarded by a grin.

"The Dark has been waiting for you for a long time. Kiss me." Maul pulls down the unresisting Jedi and kisses him soundly, reinforcing the order through their new link.

Afternoon finds Obi-Wan showered and shaved, looking very respectable in unfamiliar clothes. He looks at himself in the mirror and tugs on the shirt. "It's been so long since I wore anything but Jedi robes for an official function," he says, half to himself. "This feels wrong."

"You're not a Jedi anymore. Wearing them would be wrong, and they'd mark you." Maul stands behind him in similar clothing, admiring the effect of civilian garments overlaid on Jedi training.

"Mark me for what?"

"You don't think they'll let you go just because you told your master you wanted to leave? Especially not when he tells them you're with a Force user."

"I have the right to leave." He's not exactly sure about that. Hardly anyone chooses to leave the Temple. Students were turned out of it, but only in rare and severe circumstances. Choosing to leave to find a lover isn't exactly standard practice.

"They've kept you safe since you were a baby. They're not going to let you throw away all their training for a love affair with a Sith. Not if they can help it." Put like that, the Jedi pursuit makes more sense and seems more dangerous to Obi-Wan. He's not sure that this affair is at all right, but he doesn't want to break it off. The bond draws him to Maul whether it is good or not.

"So they're hunting me. Does that mean I should go back?" That would mean admitting defeat, a worse defeat than capitulating in the face of lust. Add that humiliation before his peers and his master, and the separation from someone to whom he is bonded, and the choice is easy. He's driven away his master, and Maul wants him.

"No. You have to leave Coruscant for a while, go somewhere the Jedi don't know about, keep out of sight."

"Of course, you know the perfect place, don't you?" He knows the answer to that before he asks.

Maul grins at him in the mirror. "Hey, I'm a Sith, aren't I? I wouldn't be alive if I didn't."

That sounds perfectly sensible to Obi-Wan, but it has a threatening undercurrent. "If I go with you, I can't come back, can I?"

One of Maul's hands strokes his side with the ease of familiarity, and Obi Wan feels his body responding, though it is inconvenient, as they need to get out of the apartment. It seems like no matter what else is wrong, his body demands to be touched. "You can come back." The hand moves across an erogenous zone. "You have to change. Accept that you're never going to be a Jedi." He closes his eyes, feeling the further separation from what he thought was his destiny as clearly as the insistent hand on his skin. "Will you hide away with me?"

He wonders if he could possibly do anything else. "Yes." He answers the sensation and the question, turning to kiss Maul.

Maul lets him go and steps away. "Let's go. The Jedi will be here soon." Obi-Wan frowns, but accepts the brush-off, and, after glancing in the mirror one last time at his unfamiliar reflection, collects his bag and is ready to go.

"Do you think I should wear this?" he asks Maul, holding up his lightsaber. "It would be a lie, almost, but I'm not sure."

"Don't. It would mark you to the Jedi, and you probably couldn't defeat any of them with it, yet."

He frowns. Part of him is reluctant to let the link to the Jedi go, even if it is dangerous. "If you say so." He hides it in his bag. "How will we explain it to the guards at the port?"

"Don't you know anything about mind manipulation? What do they teach them in these Temples?" Maul is teasing him, and grinning.

"Oh. Well." Obi-Wan is rather chagrined; after all, it is rather obvious. "They teach us not to use it unless we must." He feels foolish for citing rules that don't really apply to him anymore.

"Well, we must. Let's go." Together, they leave the apartment building and wait for a public transport to arrive. Other people stand around them, waiting for the same vehicle. The presence of a crowd makes it more natural for Obi-Wan and Maul to maintain a physical contact so as not to be separated.

"Where are we going?" Obi-Wan asks, half whispering in Maul's ear and half speaking into his mind.

The response is entirely mental communication. "I can't tell you until we get there. If the Jedi catch us before we get off-planet, I'm abducting you, and if you know where we're going, then you can tell them." He'd not really considered the possibility of being caught, and he's not sure what he might do under those circumstances. It is a frightening concept. Qui-Gon, given a second chance, would certainly kill Maul. Obi-Wan would be subject to all sorts of discipline and probably not allowed out of the Temple until his fourth Padawan becomes a Knight. Jedi compassion doesn't exist when Sith are involved.

Obi-Wan's anxiety is interrupted by the transport's arrival. The crowd boards it, pulling Obi-Wan and Maul with them. Maul's hand stays firmly on Obi-Wan's hip. Obi-Wan worries that someone will comment until he realizes that no one cares what he does with his hands in public anymore. "I like this freedom thing," he thinks quietly, images of Jedi Council reprimands in his mind.

"We can do anything we want," Maul responds, opening his shields and treating Obi-Wan to a series of arousing images. "The galaxy is much bigger than the Jedi wanted you to think."

"You'll show me, won't you?" Losing the Jedi might not be the end of the world if he can have adventures and a lover in return.

"Yes."

They sit in silence for the rest of the ride. Obi-Wan tries to reconcile his experiences of Maul with what he has been taught of Sith, and finds that the Jedi presented him with a very skewed view. None of what they told him makes any sense in his situation. Lectures on the dangers of the Dark Side never discussed the possibility of a bond with a Sith, and yet they'd developed one, somewhere along the line. Breaking a training bond usually made both parties ill, but he lost his connection to Qui-Gon and he isn't sick. Qui-Gon wasn't himself when he broke into Maul's apartment, but he wasn't suffering the effects of a broken bond, either.

When the transport arrives at the spaceport, no mob of Jedi is waiting to apprehend them. Obi-Wan carries the luggage, and Maul keeps one arm around his waist. That strengthens their mental link somewhat, and it also makes quiet verbal communication easier. "Where do we go?"

"The ship is in Bay 1550." Obi-Wan doesn't know where that is, but Maul does. "Make sure we're not being followed." That is simple enough. He's used the Force to look for spies on many missions, but the spies in question have never been Jedi. It is strange to seek out people who should be his allies and try to avoid their notice instead of greeting them gladly. There are trained minds in the crowd. Obi-Wan pulls back as he touches the first one, and when he finds the third, he closes off his own thoughts as much as he can. Another layer of shielding from Maul covers his mind, and he feels nearly invisible. The sense of his body fades for a moment, and then he stumbles, and pulls himself upright with Maul's help. Only the people closest to them notice, and then the crowd shifts again.

"It's hard to walk and think at the same time," he says, grinning.

"Did you find anyone?"

"Three. One close."

"Here." Maul pulls Obi-Wan out of the flow of traffic and to a nearby terminal. "Keep a lookout while I enter the codes."

Obi-Wan sees two approaching men in brown robes. "Hurry. They're coming." The Jedi are hampered by the flow of the crowd that has camouflaged

"Done." They dart into the ship's airlock, ignoring the shouts of "Wait! Stop!" behind them. Maul rushes to the cockpit, Obi-Wan close behind him. "I'm getting out of here now. You want to stay with the Jedi?"

"No. I am with you." They don't have time for more than a glance, but it is enough.

"Strap in, now." Obi-Wan gets into the co-pilot's seat and fastens the buckles. Maul starts the engines and they leave the port smoothly. The sense of imminent danger fades as the port and the Jedi therein recedes into the distance, but neither Maul nor Obi-Wan says anything until they are in hyperspace.

"It's really over, isn't it?" Obi-Wan asks. "No more training." The loss of power rankles more than the loss of friends and classmates.

"It hasn't yet begun."

"I don't know what you mean." There is hope in those words. Sith training, perhaps, but how close is the Dark Side?

"Of course you do. You left the Jedi Temple with a Sith. Did you think you'd find a job as a bartender?" Maul shakes his head. "Stop asking pointless questions. You're going to meet my Master soon, and he won't stand for it."

"What does he have to do with all of this?"

"He wanted you." The thoughts that accompany those words make it clear that he is wanted by more than one person on multiple levels.

"Is that why you lured me here, a lesson from your master?" He wonders how much that would really bother him, and how close to the truth the answer will be.

"That was the beginning. I doubt that he expected us to bond at all."

"If you're an apprentice, how can you teach me?" The thought of having to create a new training bond frightens Obi-Wan. The last one held him too close for his master to see his problems. He didn't even want to speculate what a Sith could to do his mind.

"That's his problem, not mine. One of the benefits of being an apprentice is not having to know what to do about everything. He wanted me to steal you. I have. Everything else is not my responsibility."

"Well, it's certainly not mine. I can't deal with this now. I need to rest." Obi-Wan unfastens the safety straps and leaves the cockpit. He finds a bunk in one of the cabins and lies down on it to meditate. The events of the day distract him, as do Maul's thoughts, which he can hear every so often. After a long time, he falls into restless dreams.

A harsh voice wakes Obi-Wan. "You love him." He looks around for the speaker, confused, and then realizes that the voice is coming from the other cabin. "You have failed."

"No, my master," Maul's voice answers. "He loves me. I can use that."

The first voice is silent for a moment. "Use it. Tear him from the Light and destroy his hope."

Obi-Wan can't eavesdrop anymore. He gets out of bed hastily, ignoring his rumpled clothing, and crosses the hallway to the other cabin. The door is ajar. When he pushes it further open, he can see Maul on his knees in front of a holographic projection. "He has."

The face of the Sith Master is partially hidden by his robe, but his image looks at the intruder. "Your opinion is insignificant, Jedi."

Something about the entire scene is unreal. Common sense says that a Jedi Padawan would never talk to a Sith Master by holocomm, and so Obi-Wan decides that he cannot really be doing what he is doing. The impossibility gives him courage. "I'm not a Jedi. Your apprentice didn't fail you."

Maul's thoughts advise him that it is a terribly bad idea to argue with this man. "You're defending your death," he tells Obi-Wan silently. Regret and fear fill his mind.

Obi-Wan glances at Maul, and thinks back, "I failed. You made me love you."

The projection interrupts them. "You are bonded." His tone makes the words sound loathsome.

"It gives him control over me." Obi-Wan does his best to sound defeated. Maul's master obviously doesn't want his apprentice to be controlled by anyone but him, and so he holds Maul powerless. A loving bond might give someone else power over Maul, or give him the strength to evade his master. The bond will be destroyed, then, if that master ever discovers what it does for Maul. Obi-Wan tries to divert the master and draw the anger onto himself. The protective sense echoes in the bond. It's obvious that Maul doesn't want to follow his new orders. Obi-Wan can't let his only ally to be destroyed. He concentrates on his own feelings for Maul to mask the other man's as much as he can. "I love him." Saying it aloud makes it all the more real, and frightening. Obi-Wan has always been taught that love is more powerful than hatred.

The Sith Master laughs at the admission. "You are a weak fool."

Obi-Wan hopes that if he is dismissed offhand, he can use his true strength to help his lover. "I know, but it's too late."

Again, there is silence. Obi-Wan fears that his projection of his emotions has not been enough, and the master will kill them both with some obscure Sith technique. He doesn't dare to even ask Maul what is happening. The hologram speaks. "I commend you on your control of the Jedi, Darth Maul. We will meet soon." The connection flickers off.

Maul stands. "You lied for me," he says, a bit surprised. "Jedi shouldn't lie. You're falling more because of me." There is fear in his eyes. "I don't want you to hate me."

"I can't hate you. We're bound together. The Jedi don't want me; they probably think I've fallen to the Dark. Your master would kill you if you let me go. Should I have let him kill us both?"

"This is a dangerous game. The Jedi would not kill you for falling in love. My master gives me no such assurance."

"I know."

"It would be easiest if I killed you now."

"Yes." He knows the balance will shift soon. They can't have the same sort of relationship that they began on Coruscant. The communication from Maul's master has only hastened the change. Death would be an escape from confusion and abdication of choice.

Maul looks away from him. "You bonded yourself to me, not I to you. Let me go."

"You're wrong. It was unconscious. Something in you needed something in me."

"I am Sith. I need nothing from anyone." Maul shields himself again and steps away from Obi-Wan.

"You're wrong. You need something from me. You made me need you. The Force guided us."

Maul's hand touches the lightsaber on his belt. "I should kill you. Why aren't you afraid?"

That is one question that has an easy answer. "You should have killed me long before this, and you have not. You weren't surprised by your master's words. You won't kill me now."

"You can't be my apprentice. There can be only two Sith." That admission hurts both men.

"I didn't come to you for training in the first place. I will be your lover, and that is enough for today." Obi-Wan smiles and touches Maul's shoulder. "You drew me from the Temple for this."

"He can't see what is between us. He will kill us both."

"We can hide it." He doesn't have much faith in his abilities on that score. The projections seemed to work before, but that was with the Sith Master at a distance. "If we can't, we can break the bond." The suggestion has to be made, but it is hateful and frightening.

"He thinks I have power over you because of it."

"You always have been able to control me. It makes that control stronger."

"Bonds pull both ways. I should kill you."

"You should." Maul unfastens his belt and places it on the floor with the lightsaber still on it. "I chose this Darkness because of you. Kiss me."

Maul buries his hands in Obi-Wan's hair and kisses him deeply. The fire burns through the bond and seals it tighter. "I am your death," he says quietly when he lets go.

The statement of truth does not lessen the heat. If he is holding his doom in his arms, he will savor every kiss all the more. "I'll keep you where I can see you, then."

They spend much of the voyage in meditation. Maul pulls Obi-Wan out of trance to ask, "How can we hide this love from my master? Sith are not supposed to love. It is weak."

"Treat me as I treated you. I can hide your feelings among mine." The loss of this easy love and friendship between them will hurt, but less than death. "You told me that you had many casual lovers in the Temple."

"I lied. I didn't want you to think you were special. Not then."

"You were only a warm body to me then. I treated you like a whore." Part of his mind suggests that if he had been more sensitive towards his lover, he would not be tainted.

"I pushed you to it."

"Yes, but I did it, and it felt amazing. Concentrate on that, and we'll be able to hide from your master. You don't need to love me. I will love enough for both of us." Before Maul can answer, Obi-Wan kisses him again, opening his mental shields and probing carefully into his lover's mind. Maul's thoughts are confused, but among the threads of fright and lust are several that resonate to Obi-Wan's nonverbal "I love you." Carefully, Obi Wan takes them into himself. He repeats the words until nothing answers him in kind, then closes down the bond as much as he can. He opens his eyes again, and speaks aloud. "I do love you."

"You're mine." Maul nearly tears Obi-Wan's clothing as he takes it off. "I always did want a concubine." He leers at the man in his arms. The simple physical reaction frightens Obi-Wan, especially in conjunction with the new feeling of the bond. He tries to smile back. Now, he knows that Maul loved him, and he has stolen that love. It is easy to have sex with this man without love, but it was easier when the hope of love existed.

He dreads the situation that he has created. "When can you love me?" he asks as Maul takes off his boots.

"You're mine. I don't need to love you."

It's suicidal to love this man. He's known that since before he left the Temple, but, as he told Maul's master, it is simply too late for him to stop. He is not sure how long he can wait to be loved again. "Will you, some day?"

"If I do, we will die."

He pushes aside the hope for another time. If he is bound to this man and falling from grace, he might as well enjoy it. "Then give me what you can."

Obi-Wan wakes up in a strange bed, again. This time, there is no dark lover warming his back. There's no sign that Maul has been there in hours. He reaches through the bond to find Maul, and what he touches frightens him so much that he is in the main cabin before he realizes that he hasn't gotten dressed. By then, it is far too late. The Sith Master turns to look at him, and he bows. "My lord," he says, drawing on his training in diplomacy.

"A concubine with manners, my apprentice?" the master asks. "Not enough manners to dress, but this is much more interesting. Do you keep him naked all day?" That sounds like a distinctly uncomfortable prospect, and not what Obi-Wan expected from a Sith in the slightest.

"No, my master," Maul answers.

"Perhaps you should, to show him his place. Come here, boy." One pale hand beckons Obi-Wan, and he approaches, then kneels in front of the Master. The hand settles on his head, and a strong probe dives into his mind. He tries to shield himself, but the attacker is too strong. The oily presence pries away his recent memories. He can hear the master laughing somewhere distant. Pressure overwhelms him and he loses consciousness.

He wakes up with a pounding headache and his hands chained above his head. Wherever he is, it is very dark. He can't feel Maul's presence at all, particularly not with his head hurting as much as it does. The pain refuses to go away. He wishes it was enough to send him unconscious again. Instead, he hangs there in the dark, trying to reach out to his lover. It's been a long time since he was unable to reach someone bonded to his mind, and it's very uncomfortable. Being alone is almost as frightening as not being able to stop the pain in his head. The dark is pressing in on his mind like the master did. He tries to think of something else, of the Temple gardens, of a simple training routine, but he can only see the darkness. He counts the seconds until he loses count. After three hours, he starts talking aloud to himself, reciting poetry, making up stories, anything to break the silent darkness. He can't feel his arms at all. He can't feel most of his mind at all. He tries to sleep, but his muscles cramp and keep him half-awake. Though the pain in his head fades, the bond with Maul is still closed, and the Force is beyond his reach.

After a day, he starts screaming. He stops only when his exhausted body drags him to sleep.

The next light he sees is the red blade of a lightsaber. It has been an eternity since he has seen anything at all. Though it hurts his eyes, he cannot help but stare at it. "Who's there?" he asks hoarsely, his voice a whisper through his ragged, parched throat.

There is no answer. The binders that hold his hands in place unlock, and he falls to the floor. When the blood runs full strength into his hands again, he screams. The lightsaber is above him now. When he stops screaming to draw a sobbing breath, a voice as rough as his says, "I am here."

He can't scream, not if it might mean missing something his lover might say. Instead, he bites his tongue until it bleeds, but he is silent. He can hear the lightsaber now. "Why?" he asks, trying to reach out with his mind again.

"I have orders to kill you."

If it was anyone else saying this thing to him, he would beg for it. Somewhere in his mind, though, Maul loved him once, enough that they formed a bond. There was love before this bizarre horror. "Don't let me die like this."

Again the silence closes around them. Fear claws at Obi-Wan. Then, "No. You will have the chance to kill me. Sleep, now. Rest. You will be better when you wake." The words push at his mind, and he cannot resist.

It is light when he wakes. He is clean. There is food. That is enough for his body, at first. When his mind wakes, he knows that he is alone. He can touch the Force, now. Through it, he can feel two presences near him. One is certainly the Sith Master, and the other's identity eludes him for a moment. He examines it again, and recognition strikes. Maul is there. The strangeness of the contact is because their link is broken. The realization brings a haze over Obi-Wan's eyes. He's never felt this alone. When he lost the bond with Qui-Gon, Maul was right there. Now, there is nothing but silence.

He stands up and finds that his muscles are sore from sleeping on the cold flooring. His sack of clothing is hanging next to the door. He takes the hint and gets dressed. The lightsaber is also there. He hangs it from his belt, where it is a comforting presence.

Maul is in the pilot's seat when Obi-Wan enters the cockpit, and the Sith Master is sitting in the copilot's seat. "Now, really, Kenobi, must you think of me that way?" the master asks in an ingratiating voice, completely unlike their last two meetings. "You may call me Darth Sidious, if it pleases you, or even if it doesn't."

Obi-Wan nods, because that is what he has been trained to do when masters give him instructions. He looks at the back of Maul's head worriedly, but there is no response. "I will remember." He can't bring himself to call this man Master out loud. He sends a small probe to touch Maul's mind.

It stops and is sent back to him swiftly. "Leave my apprentice alone," Darth Sidious says in a cold voice. "I broke the silly bond between you. Jedi may treasure things like that, but I have no use for them."

The words remind Obi-Wan of the lack in his mind, and he feels his knees weaken. He falls to the floor. Then, Maul does turn around, and gets out of his chair to kneel in front of Obi-Wan, who can hardly see him for the dark fog in his eyes. "I love you," he says, not sure if it's true. He has no anchor, and he can feel himself drifting.

The darkly tattooed face frowns. "You're still a fool." Maul kisses Obi-Wan desperately, his hands pulling the dazed man close. Obi-Wan has to draw on the Force to push back the tide of unconsciousness that threatens him. He tries to lose himself in the familiar embrace.

Darth Sidious's laughter brings him back to the moment. "Your Jedi is wanton, Darth Maul. Go on, make him love you to the depths of his soul. It will only make your task easier." Obi-Wan feels himself lifted by invisible hands and set on his feet. Maul's arms are still wrapped around him, and he relies on that for support. Apparently, they are free to obey the command, because his feet don't touch the ground when he tries to walk, and he knows Maul is shorter than he is.

The Force supports give way and he topples onto a bed. "Why'd he break the bond?" The world is distorted strangely. It takes him a moment to realize that Maul is on the bed next to him.

"I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you." Maul begins undressing Obi Wan perfunctorily.

Being naked reminds him vaguely of how vulnerable he felt when he was in the dark, whenever that was. He would protest, but the hands caressing him feel too good. "Oh," he opines. "That feels good." Maul's tongue caresses his navel. "Do that again."

There is a slight hesitation before it happens again. "He's watching us."

Voyeurs are among the least of his worries. "So?" He only wants Maul to be quiet and kiss him again, or something. Part of his mind wants to be touched more than anything else, and more than that besides. Around it, unconsciousness lurks.

"I'll explain later."

Soft lips kiss the tips of his erection, then wrap around it. The lonely core of his mind opens wide to the new feeling, and he moans. The wet warmth moves to engulf his cock. Maul's rough tongue strokes him. Fingers pinch his nipples harshly.

He feels more nearly complete than he has in what seems like forever. The darkness around the small, rational part of his mind is receding, and there is another light nearby, one that is comforting and familiar. He reaches out to it as his body reaches its climax, using the energy to create something more.

Before the bond is reformed, someone slaps him across the face. He opens his eyes to see Darth Sidious smiling at him in a very unpleasant way. "Didn't I tell you not to make a bond with my apprentice? This little escapade was supposed to heal you, and it seems it has. Do you love him?"

His jaw hurts. The adrenaline is fighting with post coital lassitude, and seems to be winning. "Yes." Obi-Wan is aware, now, that he's naked in front of this Sith again. His mind is less clouded than it was before, and though the darkness seems to be closing in, it is not unconsciousness, but something more devious. "Don't take him from me." Maul is straddling one of Obi-Wan's legs, and is still fully clothed. Obi-Wan puts a hand on his shoulder to claim him.

Maul looks up at him, but Sidious answers. "He can have you unless he loves you. Then, you are dead." The Sith Master leaves again, at least as far as Obi-Wan can tell. Maul is still looking at him.

"I love you," Obi-Wan says, quietly, "and I'm not going to stop because of him."

"I know."

He lowers his voice even more. "We have to get away from him. He stifles you as much as the Jedi ever stifled me." He knows it's dangerous to say that, but he doesn't want to test his mind speech capability yet, for fear it will be taken away.

"Some of the things that would be best for us are impossible." Maul sits up and trails his fingers across Obi-Wan's chest, then leans down to kiss him. "This is possible." The lack of love aches, but not as much as it did the last time he heard it in Maul's voice. "You followed me into this. Come the rest of the way with me, love." Another kiss, and he is pressed under the warm body. The kiss melts away the difference between the part of his mind Obi-Wan thinks of as himself and the chaos around him until he is the darkness.

He has nothing to do. There is no meditation set for him to complete, as there would be if he was traveling with Qui-Gon. He doesn't have to do any piloting, which is good, since he doesn't know where they're going yet. He doesn't have enough space to practice his physical routines. He reads whatever he can find on datapads. By the end of the first day, he knows more than he ever wanted to about the mechanics of the different systems on this ship. The boredom is broken only when Darth Sidious decides that they should eat. The food pales in comparison to the contact with Maul and the dangerous sense he has of the Sith Master. He does not want to say anything, for fear that whatever comes out of his mouth will be wrong. Instead, he twines his leg around Maul's and concentrates on the utterly dull rations. The end of dinner is a relief. The boredom that follows is no better for the respite. Obi-Wan decides to take a nap, if only to escape from the tedium.

He wakes up when Maul lies down next to him. "Good evening," he says quietly. "Did you have a good day?"

"I love spending quality time with my Master, didn't you know? It was a good a day as any can be in his company. More of you would have made it more tolerable." Maul frowns, then kisses him.

"I was staying out of your master's way." The nap has not taken away any of the fatigue of ennui. Kisses aren't really welcome; all he wants to do is sleep. He tries to gently dissuade Maul, but persistent lips press against him. He decides not to fight. It is easier to accept the attentions. The hard cock that presses into him makes him moan aloud, even as he fancies he can hear the master laughing somewhere nearby. Neither of them speaks. Maul remembers the particular spots that make him cry out, and he knows he can still reciprocate. He realizes that he will have to do just that. He is this man's concubine, now. The thought of servitude and the reality of the burning body against his bring him over the edge of pleasure. He almost wants to cry when it is over.

The Sith refuge is a barren moon circling a dead planet near the Rim. Obi Wan doesn't know what the coordinates are. They don't really matter to him. He's not expecting a rescue, and wouldn't know where to go to escape from people who can hide from the entire Jedi Order. The Sith Master mostly ignores him, and concentrates on refining Maul's lightsaber techniques and use of the Force. Maul shares a few of the lessons with him. Sometimes, they even spar. The Dark Side techniques make Obi-Wan feel tainted. He avoids them at first because of the feeling. After a few days, it doesn't seem as important. The kisses are as sweet as ever. The pure lust in them does not make him wish for love. He takes care of himself as much as he can and tries to keep out of the way of the Sith when he is not wanted. Once the sense of wrongness in the new techniques starts to fade, the Sith Master's presence is more tolerable. That is slightly frightening to him. Between the nothingness of boredom and the rush of desire, when he thinks, he's afraid of the strange changes in his own manners and thoughts.

One day, while Maul is busy with his Master, Obi-Wan tries to perform a simple Jedi meditation on the state of his own mind. He finds it clouded. The simple taint of darkness is not as small as he has tried to convince himself. The grey feeling that echoes in his heart comes from the endless round of his days. There has been nothing new since he came to this place. He has lost track of the time. There are no solar cycles on this moon, which makes all the chronometers arbitrary. The lack of tasks emphasizes that. The random lessons Maul teaches him come in between kisses, and seem more than half like dreams. He sleeps when he is tired and eats when he is hungry. He has made his own schedule, but it is meaningless.

Maul interrupts his meditation by kissing him. Climax is almost a surprise. It cleans away the introspection of trance and brings him wholly back to his body. For a few moments, he feels as if he only exists for this, to love this man who doesn't love him and accept the gentle touches they can share. They lie together, warm and slick, recovering from the pleasure. With his first steady breath, he asks, "When are you going to mark me?"

"You are of the Dark." Obi-Wan shudders in the warm arms around him. That the mark is already on him, without warning, frightens him. The distance between this warm bed and the only place he has ever known to call home strikes him suddenly. He is bound to this twilight life of alternating lust and doldrums, where his only companion is the man who seduced him to it in the first place. For the first time, he realizes that he could have escaped any of the days while Maul was training and he was alone watching holo broadcasts or exercising.

The understanding brings him some measure of peace. He does not wish for love anymore. He gave up the Light for love, and for the promise of power. "When will I be your apprentice?"

Maul laughs. "When my Master is dead, I will be free to take any apprentice I choose. It is not as easy as this." Another kiss. "You have been learning, along the way, as well. I wouldn't choose anyone but you."

That makes him defensive, as he hadn't considered that possible. "You'd not have lived through the attempt." This declaration inspires laughter, as if he was some tiny boy threatening the trained warrior. "When will we kill him?"

Maul stops laughing. "It is my duty to kill him, and nothing to do with you. That is traditional."

"I know what tradition means. It's not traditional to take your prospective apprentice as a lover, either, is it?"

"You're right."

"We kill him together." Obi-Wan rolls out of bed and picks up his lightsaber. "Teach me to use this, and I will teach you what I know."

"I am tired."

"Then, when we have rested." The prospect of change excites him more than he had expected.

"Yes."

The new sessions of instruction change the feeling and format of his days. They shift from dull grey to impossibly black. Sith meditations are nothing like the Jedi trances he has done for years. They are designed to throw him off center and summon dark emotions rather than control them. The real Darkness he can see now shows him just how far from it he was when he left the Jedi Temple. He would resent Maul's deception if that would do any good at all, but after contemplating that, he realizes how much power he has gained because of it. The Jedi never told him how far it really was from the Light to the true Dark, and that ignorance made his fall easier. When he tells this to Maul, he's rewarded with laughter.

"Just think. If I'd really known, I'd be safe at home. But now, this is home." Obi-Wan waves one hand to indicate the bed where they lie in each other's arms. "I love you."

"And if you didn't, you wouldn't be here."

"So you mean that love made me stronger, because being here and learning from you has done just that. And yet it would make you weaker." The paradox is strange to him. He knows that even if he can't accept, he still has to live with it.

"My love is like your anger. You don't know quite how to use rage, so it throws you off center, which is contrary to almost all the training you've ever had. I don't know how to use affection." Maul kisses Obi-Wan's shoulder.

"Maybe I'll teach you, then, when we're free of your master. You had to free me before you could teach me about anger." He stretches languorously. "After all, you've got me, and all my knowledge. Use it."

"When we're free."

"Yes. Then. And until then, I'm still yours."

Maul shakes Obi-Wan out of trance. "It has to be now."

Adrenaline brings him fully into his sense of the physical world. "Are we ready?"

"It doesn't matter. He's leaving tonight, and I don't know when we'll see him again. He might even send the Jedi after us."

Obi-Wan takes a deep breath. "Then it must be now." He pushes his hair back from his forehead absentmindedly, then picks up his lightsaber. Maul watches him impassively. They share a kiss and an embrace wherein their minds brush and shields fall. Obi-Wan's reflexive "I love you" is answered in kind. Maul pushes him away.

"We don't have time. He's in the dining room. We have to do this now." Hope sings through him as he follows Maul. When they succeed, he will be loved. He will learn. Everything will be all right, just as it was before he left the Temple.

In the time it takes him to hope for all of this, they have walked to the correct room. Without preamble, Maul ignites his lightstaff and attacks Darth Sidious. His first strike is met with lightning that dissipates on the blade. The second bolt comes almost before Maul can block it. The third throws him off-balance and away from Sidious. Obi-Wan is in the room and takes up the attack, but the second gout of lightning directed at him gets under his guard. His nerves and muscles are out of his control for a long moment. This gives Maul enough time to stand and try to strike again, but the lightning finds him more quickly the second time, and he loses his hold on his weapon. Obi-Wan tries to leap to his defense, but he cannot stand. His lightsaber flies out of his hand and lies at Sidious's feet. Bands of Darkness hold him prone while lightning courses through Maul. Over the crackle of impossible electricity earthing itself, he can hear Darth Sidious saying, "You would have been a worthy apprentice. How foolish to fall in love."

Obi-Wan throws the weight of his mind against the Sith Lord's will. He cannot move. He cannot take a deep enough breath to speak. He cannot ignore what is happening to Maul enough to do anything useful. He is a captive witness to the burning. Maul begins to scream. The room smells of burnt flesh. The screaming stops. The lightning dissipates. Darth Sidious gives one wrinkled hand to Obi-Wan and pulls him to his feet. He is too numb and frightened to resist.

Sidious smiles. It is not at all a pleasant smile. "Don't worry, boy. You're just going home to your Temple, once you've forgotten all of this. You'll help me find my next apprentice, won't you?"

He tries to speak and deny any will to help this demon, but he is collapsing. He cannot even think a denial before he is unconscious.

"So you see, Obi-Wan, whatever memories you have of the last several months are just drug-induced hallucinations," Qui-Gon explains. "The rules about leaving the Temple have been strengthened because of your abduction."

The pristine sickbay reminds him of somewhere else, a place where people slept but didn't really live. The memory is foggy, though, and he decides it must be one of the flashbacks the healers warned him he might experience. "I didn't realize I was in that sort of danger, Master."

"I know, Padawan. That is why we must protect you, and others who may not be aware of the danger." Obi-Wan nods and wonders if he'll ever be allowed to leave the Temple alone. "I am grateful that you were found when you were. The Naboo system's fourth planet is not extensively traveled. It's most fortunate that their Senator has been encouraging exploration."

"Yes, Master. It is lucky."

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