Archive: Sith Chicks, SWAL, AllMaulFic, my site
Archive Date: September 25, 2000
Author's Webpage: http://www.angelfire.com/scifi/theglobe
Category: Ficlet, POV, AU
Disclaimer: Lucas owns them, I'm just having a little non-profit
fun.
Feedback: Is always welcome!
Pairing: O/Maul
Rating: PG-13
Series: A Life Less Ordinary, a subdivision of the Knight Moves
AU
Summary: Obi-Wan finds Maul suffering a dark night of the
soul.
I woke up, and he wasn't beside me.
That happens sometimes. As much as his life has changed, as much as he has changed, as much as I try to heal him through our bond, Maul still wakes up in the middle of the night, haunted by nightmares, or he never makes it to sleep at all, haunted by memories. I hate those times, because he always retreats to some closed-off, silent place inside himself that I can't reach, and it makes me feel helpless.
Yawning and rubbing sleep from my eyes, I padded silently from our bedroom into the common area, glancing around to see if he was still home or if he had gone to a practice room to work himself until he was ready to drop. But the door leading to the balcony was open, and I could see him standing out there.
I moved closer, then stopped, just taking in the sight.
The Coruscant moon was full, casting pale light over the planetscape below, causing my lover's skin to glint silver. He looked cool and smooth like fine marble, and I ached to touch him. Not because I wanted to make love with him, but because I knew he needed to be touched; he needed the solid warmth of contact to ground him in this world again, to pull him away from the past where nothing but pain and regret surrounded him.
I watched as he leaned forward on the rail, causing muscles in his back to work and bunch, and I knew if I touched them, I would be able to feel tension coiled tight in them; he was wearing sleep pants, but that was all, and I paused to admire his broad shoulders that tapered to narrow hips and the curving musculature in his arms--but only for a moment.
I moved to stand behind him and molded my fingers to fit the curve of his shoulders; as soon as I touched him, he released a quiet, shuddery sigh. I slid my hands down to his elbows, then wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him close against me until he was leaning against my chest. Nuzzling behind his ear, I opened my mind to our bond completely, sending waves of reassurance and love to him; I couldn't see his face, but I could feel the tautness in his body slowly release its grip on him until he was relaxed in the circle of my arms.
I brushed my lips along the curve of his neck, breathing in deeply of his warm scent; he tilted his chin back, giving me access, and I moved my hand to trail my fingertips up and down the column of his throat.
"Let it go," I whispered. "Release it into the Force."
I felt him tense up slightly, and then he relaxed again, and I felt the subtle energy of the Force flowing around him, tinging his aura. Along our bond, I sensed him opening himself to the healing power of the Force as he had done many times before during these periods of grief. I long for the day that he's no longer plagued by things he can't change; he thinks he has to atone for his past, but I think he atoned the moment he began to turn from the Darkness to the Light.
Convincing him of that is difficult, to say the least, but I'll keep trying. Meanwhile, I won't let him go; he'll always be able to find refuge in my arms.
When he wakes in the deepest, coldest hour of the night, I'll be beside him.