Need
by Esmeralda


Archive: Master_Apprentice, OKEB, QJEB, Jedi Hurtaholics, SWA-L,The Nesting Place (anyone else just ask :-)
Category: AU, Angst (no deaths), h/c
Disclaimer: Not mine, unfortunately...but I'm having fun playing with them ...:-)
Feedback: Please!
Notes: I have a veritable posse to thank for all their help with this story! Hugs, and much appreciation go to Kat, Ana, Jo, Kathy and Kelly.
This story is 'dedicated' to my hubby :-) ...For being so tolerant of my 'obsessions' *g*.
Pairing: Q/O
Rating: NC-17
Series: Sequel to 'The Truth' and 'Change' - Since this story ties up a lot of the events from these two, it is probably best to read them first. They can be found in the archives mentioned above (or email me and I'll happily post them to you :-)....I am working on the follow up to 'Need'....It should be finished in a few weeks.
Spoilers: Some for TPM and The Jedi Apprentice Books.
Summary: Set after TPM. Qui-Gon decides to take Obi-Wan away so they can spend some uninterrupted time together. However, long buried secrets and hidden needs threaten the outcome of their venture.


Chapter I

Alone, deep inside the Jedi Temple, Qui-Gon Jinn sat - struggling to calm the chaotic barrage of emotions which assailed him. Hoping solitary reflection would ease his inner turmoil, he had taken sanctuary within one of the small meditation chambers in the core of the Temple. However the depth of his anxiety had thwarted his attempts to meditate. In his mind images twisted and turned, over and over; their ceaseless writhing battling against his desperate need for calm.

All his thoughts were centred upon his Bond mate. Something about Obi-Wan troubled him, and yet he couldn't touch upon exactly what. The young man had recovered from the injury sustained on Neider and seemed in good spirits. However, even before today's alarming misadventure, he had been concerned at the unfamiliar air of fragility surrounding his Padawan. Obi-Wan was pale and thin, not so much as after Taogoa, but still - cheekbones were far sharper than they should be in an increasingly thinning face.

Immediately following their return from Neider he had sought, and was granted, a reprieve from their normal duties. Though he had been grateful for the Council's acquiescence to his request, he was still troubled by the concern he had sensed from them.

Bonded Jedi were rare, and a Bond between a Master and a Padawan, though not without precedent, was even rarer. There had never been an example of such a Bond in all Qui-Gon's years as a Jedi.

Padawans were vulnerable. They shone like beacons, bright with the Force, but their abilities were raw, and undisciplined. Their power was a lure to the darkside. A Master needed to be teacher, guide and protector - guarding an apprentice from those who had embraced the darkness and would claim a Padawan before he or she were fully immured to its malevolent call.

He had no such fears for Obi-Wan, but he knew the Council was wary of a Bond which involved a Padawan. They had accepted that Qui- Gon's relationship with Obi-Wan was guided by the Force, but still they doubted the wisdom of pursuing such a path. Bitterly, he recalled that his Padawan's appearance at the Neider debriefing would have done little to allay the Council's concerns. Pale and quiet, bruised shadows beneath dull eyes, Obi-Wan had barely been able to stand upright; and it hadn't taken Jedi abilities to sense their silent rebuke.

He had stood, trying not to reveal his own discomfort, his Padawan's mortification painfully apparent, as the Council had advised them to investigate the true nature of their Bond. He had however, accepted the wisdom of their advice. The mission to Neider had clearly illustrated that their Bond was much more complex than he had anticipated; they would have to unravel its complexities before they could return to their normal duties.

At the start of their hiatus Obi-Wan was under strict instructions to rest. With the young man spending much of his time in their quarters, Qui-Gon had taken the opportunity to try to research the true nature of a Jedi Bond. However, it had proved to be an almost impossible task. There were no other Bonded Jedi living on Coruscant; and even if there had been he was doubtful that he could have brought himself to question them. A Bond was a painfully intimate thing, and highly individualistic. He told himself that any other Jedi, Bonded or not, would have been unlikely to provide any useful insight.

Instead he had spent his days studying ancient texts and records, scanning centuries of Jedi History for any mention of life Bonds - particularly those involving Masters and Padawans; but frustratingly had found only the sketchiest of details.

It was Master Yoda who had advised him to abandon his research. Now, as he sat battling his thoughts, he found himself recalling the encounter - and the alarming event which had followed their discussion....


He was on the floor of the records room, surrounded by texts, when he paused and looked up, sensing the ancient Master's approach. He coughed as the elderly Jedi struck out at one huge tome with his stick, sending up a cloud of dust

"Not in a book will you find what you seek."

"Master?"

"With the boy you should be." Yoda's wrinkled face creased into a deep frown. "All that is here is dust." The diminutive Master hit the book again to illustrate his point. Qui-Gon waited until the resulting dust cloud had settled before attempting to explain.

"I need to find out more about life Bonds-" He was interrupted by a loud, lengthy sigh, and was forced to relinquish the book he was holding as the elderly Jedi closed it and took it as a seat.

"Learn yes, this you need to do, but nothing can the past teach you." Leaning forwards the Jedi Master fixed him with a penetrating gaze. "A life Bond this is, yes. A 'living' thing it is, only from life can you learn."

Qui-Gon's face expressed his anguished frustration "Master I cannot continue to wander along blindly. I...I have already made too many mistakes-"

"Through mistakes learn you will-"

"Not at the expense of Obi-Wan!" As Yoda's eyes widened he flushed and then paled. "I am sorry Master...I...." His voice trailed off and he bowed his head, ashamed of his outburst. He jumped a little as a small hand gently touched his face, drawing his gaze back up. He was even more surprised to see the tender concern there.

"Love him you do, hmm."

Wordlessly he nodded. Master Yoda smiled.

"Trust in the Force you do yes?"

"Of course-"

"No! There is no 'of course.' Trust it you must. Feel your trust in it. Guide you it will. If you let it." The tiny hand patted his cheek, and he felt bewilderingly like a young Padawan again. "Go, be with the boy."

Obediently he had nodded, stumbling somewhat awkwardly to his feet he had replaced the books and returned to their quarters. He had found Obi-Wan trying to restore a long dead communicator; the bored youth had needed little persuasion to join him on a walk into the City. He had hoped the light exercise, and a chance to escape the slightly stifling air of the Temple would refresh them both.

They had wandered through the streets in a companionable silence. He was so consumed with his thoughts that it had been some time before it had struck him that his Padawan had been unusually quiet of late. He had tried to draw the young man out in conversation but Obi-Wan had seemed distracted. He had reached for his Bond mate through their link, and had become aware for the first time that something was not quite right. However before he could investigate further something else had summoned his attention.

His gaze had been drawn to a number of work men assembling a huge statue in the centre of the plaza; suddenly alert he had called out a warning just as one of the cables supporting the statue had snapped. It had whipped back with tremendous speed; and as it coiled upwards, it had struck serpent-like towards one of the workmen. Qui-Gon had used the Force to remove the man from danger, everyone else had scattered. The remaining cables had been unable to take the strain and one by one they had given way, sending the statue crashing to the ground. It had split upon impact, the body rocking slowly back and forth while the head had rolled forward - directly toward Obi-Wan.

Horrified Qui-Gon had watched as his Bond mate stood, seemingly unaware of the impending danger. //Obi-Wan!// His cry had gone unheeded and he had sent out a Force wave to push the youth aside, just as the huge stone head came to a stop - directly where the youth had been a heartbeat before.

Even as the people had poured back into the plaza, almost overwhelming him in their gratitude, his attention had been focused upon Obi-Wan. The young man seemed dazed, almost shocked. He had brushed aside further thanks and hurried his Bond mate back to the Temple. Upon their arrival Obi- Wan appeared to have regained his senses, and attempted to dismiss Qui-Gon's concerns - putting down the dangerous lapse of awareness to the 'tedium of enforced rest'. When he had tried to question his Bond mate further, Obi-Wan fell into a sullen silence and, distressingly, when he reached out along their link the youth had raised his shields.

Realising he wasn't going to make any progress haranguing his lover in the hallway. Qui-Gon had led the young man back to their rooms. However once inside Obi-Wan had announced that he was tired and was going to lay down. Torn between his desire to find out what had caused Obi-Wan's alarming lapse of awareness, and his concern for his Bond mate's physical state, Qui-Gon had finally decided to allow the young man to sleep; he could question Obi-Wan at length when the young man was rested, and his own fear had subsided a little. Granting the young man his privacy, he had withdrawn to the meditation rooms....


Now as the shadows lengthened and the long day drew to an end, he was forced to accept that his efforts had failed to bring him any resolution. Maintaining a meditative trance had proven impossible; he simply could not quiet his mind. Surrendering to his growing agitation he stood, slowly stretching limbs stiffened by the day's inactivity. Reining in his unease he gathered his robes around him and left the meditation chamber.


Chapter II

It was growing late as he returned to their quarters, and he walked through the long echoing corridors alone. Their rooms were in darkness, but he could sense Obi-Wan's presence. Qui-Gon found his sleeping lover - still fully clothed - upon their bed; one arm casually thrown across his face. Sitting down beside his Bond mate, he carefully drew back the young man's arm; Obi-Wan never stirred. Reaching over, he stroked away the unruly Padawan braid and dropped a soft kiss on his lover's warm cheek.

Dark gold lashes fluttered open, revealing sleepy gray-green eyes. The young man gave a soft sigh. //Hmm...hello.//

Containing his concerns, he smiled, //Hello// Leaning forward he placed a soft kiss upon his lover's slightly parted lips; as he made to draw back Obi-Wan's arm curled around his neck

//Stay....//

His breath caught as gray-green melted into smoky emerald, pupils widening in arousal. The small part of him which still remembered his worries was silenced, as Obi-Wan pulled him back down, hungrily claiming his mouth in an urgent kiss.

Slick heat and rising desire. The sharp sweet taste of his lover, both achingly familiar, and bewilderingly new. All thought fled, as sensation took hold. Swift, clever fingers divested him of his robe; he gasped as they slipped inside his tunic, stroking over skin afire with need. He surrendered to his Bond mate's demands as the young man pushed him over onto his back. Straddling him, Obi-Wan gave a small sharp-toothed smile of triumph, before sliding down his body - quickly stripping him of his remaining clothing - muttering as frantic fingers struggled with his boots, pushing away his attempts to assist.

As the last piece of stubborn footwear went flying across the room, he found himself pinned beneath a hungry-eyed Obi-Wan - who was in his opinion still wearing far too much. Evidently the young man shared his thoughts. His arousal spiralled as Obi-Wan dropped back to sit between his legs - hastily pulling off tunic, boots and leggings. All of which were carelessly flung aside as the young man pounced.

Finally skin to skin he emitted a moan of pure delight. Dizzily he absorbed the pleasure, Obi-Wan writhing maddeningly against him. As the young man drew back he was unable to stifle a desperate, "Obi-Wan-"

He broke off with a gasp, which became a barely contained whimper, as his Padawan began to explore his body with lips, and tongue, and gently teasing teeth.

Flames danced over his skin, everywhere his lover touched burned. He was almost beyond pleasure. Lips trailed over every inch of his bare skin, a flickering tongue following the same path. Teeth gently grazed a turgid nipple, and he arched up into the warm wet heat of Obi-Wan's mouth as the young man suckled on it, a tongue fluttering around the aureola. This time when the young man drew back he made no attempt to hide his frustration.

Trembling he tried to move, only to be firmly pushed back down onto the bed and held there. Looking up he found himself staring into wild green eyes, before his mouth was taken in a soul-stealing kiss. Released, he lay dazed; only aware that Obi-Wan had moved when he felt strong, careful fingers curl around his erection - just before it was taken into the fiery heat of his lover's mouth.

His mind exploded as Obi-Wan relaxed his throat and swallowed him down to the root. He raced towards release - only to be denied as the young man took his mouth away, applying just enough gentle pressure to curb his imminent need. He almost sobbed. However before he could voice a protest, his lover's soft lips returned, teasing the head of his erection; chasing away his ability to speak. A tongue swirling around and over, flickering against the head.

He watched, transfixed, as Obi-Wan's hand drifted down to take hold of his own erection, stroking it as the youth simultaneously drew him back into the deep maddening heat of his mouth. This time his silent pleas were answered, as the young man continued to suck hungrily; until with a shuddering cry, he came - flooding his Bond mate's mouth with his release. Obi-Wan swallowed it greedily; the youth pulling away just as he spiralled toward his own release, spilling his seed over Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon was still lost in a haze when his Bond mate moved up to lie beside him - possessively draping an arm and a leg over his recumbent body. After a moment he responded, placing an unsteady arm around his lover's shoulders; his limbs still shaky in the aftermath of orgasm.

He drifted toward sleep, until a slight shiver from the younger man alerted him to the chill of the night air against their rapidly cooling bodies. Gently he tried to extricate himself from his Padawan's embrace - receiving a small sound of protest as Obi-Wan snuggled closer.

"Obi-Wan." His reply was a soft murmur. //Obi-Wan.// This time he received no response. Drawing in a deep breath Qui-Gon rolled them over, eliciting a startled gasp from Obi-Wan - who suddenly found himself pinned beneath Qui-Gon's much larger frame.

Gazing down upon his Bond mate, Qui-Gon felt a flutter of concern as he noted his lover's pallor - twin flushed cheeks providing the only hint of colour in an otherwise pale face. Reaching out through their link, he was relieved when Obi-Wan reciprocated. However as he touched his lover's mind he was unable to dispel a vague sense of 'wrongness.' He was aware that Obi-Wan had sensed his unease when he caught his Padawan frowning up at him. Deciding 'now' was most certainly not the time for this, he shook off his introspection. Lowering his head, he captured the young man's willing mouth, kissing away their shared concern.

When he drew back there was no mistaking the hopeful gleam in dancing gray-green eyes. He shook his head with a soft laugh. "No. A shower and then bed. " The young man raised a speculative eyebrow. "To sleep Obi-Wan, to sleep." Still chuckling softly he moved off the bed. Standing, he reached out and pulled a reluctant Obi-Wan to his feet. Grumbling, the youth followed Qui-Gon as he wandered through to the shower room.

To save time he led them both into the tiny cubicle to shower together. However, faced with a warm wet Obi-Wan, he quickly discovered that his body was not so depleted as he had thought. Certainly parts of him didn't think so. His nipples hardened and his semi-hard erection twitched as the young man brushed up against him; not he felt, entirely accidentally, despite the restrictive space.

"Shall I wash your back?"

Stubbornly ignoring the parts of him which still wanted to sink into sleep, he nodded, "Please, Obi-Wan."

Qui-Gon shivered as his lover moved away, already missing the physical contact. However, Obi-Wan quickly worked the tablet into a rich lather and stepped back. Strong fingers stroked over him, kneading the slippery soap into his back and shoulders. Stiff from time spent sitting upon hard unyielding floors, it was all he could do not to purr under his Padawan's skilful touch.

A hand dipped lower, rubbing the base of his spine. He leaned forward bracing himself against the shower wall. The hand drifted lower still, smoothing over his buttocks in lazy, soapy circles. He trembled slightly as the younger man's erection brushed against his leg. Then the hand stopped, as a wash rag rinsed the soap away. There was a brief pause and then soft lips touched against his back - as slowly the young man began to kiss his way down his spine. Obi-Wan dropped to his knees as the kisses travelled lower. Qui-Gon hissed as gently teasing teeth nibbled across his buttocks, biting and sucking.

A wave of desire washed away the last of his weariness. Turning quickly he reached for his Padawan; pulling the young man to his feet he crushed the youth to him, devouring his lover's lips in a bruising kiss. Obi-Wan responded eagerly, thrusting forward, pushing him backwards into the shower wall as the hot spray pounded over them.

The sweet, heady sensation of soap-slicked skin sliding against him, breathless moans, pleasure-filled whimpers, sudden gasps. His hand slipped down between their bodies gently seizing hot, eager flesh; Obi-Wan cried out into his mouth, then arched back. Emerald green stared into darkest blue, as with maddening slowness Qui-Gon stroked his lover's hardness. Entranced, he watched the interplay of emotions drifting across Obi-Wan's face.

Pupils widened - inky black almost swallowing emerald green, cheeks flushed - the colour flooding downwards, suffusing the young man's chest with a rosy stain. Lips parted - Obi-Wan clung to him. A sharp gasp, then a quickening of breath, as Qui-Gon increased the pressure slightly, speeding up his movements. Without warning he dropped to his knees, taking the youth's erection deep into his throat. Obi-Wan gave a strangled cry and bucked against him, shooting hot salty essence into his mouth. He drank it eagerly, tasting his lover, only releasing him when he had devoured every last drop.

As he stood Obi-Wan stumbled against him. He wrapped his arms around his Bond mate stealing a heated kiss when the young looked up.Obi-Wan smiled dreamily and leaned into his embrace.

//Hmm...love you....//

//I love you too, always.// Placing a tender kiss upon his lover's, Qui- Gon began to wash away the last of the soapy suds.

Assisting his dazed lover out of the shower stall, he dried the young man briskly before giving him a gentle nudge towards the bedroom. He quickly rubbed a towel over himself, then wandered through into their bedchamber. He found Obi-Wan curled up in the bed, already half asleep. Careful not to disturb his Bond mate he slipped under the sheets, smiling when the sleepy youth moved up against him. He pulled his young love close, resting Obi-Wan's warm cheek against his chest. Simple weariness succeeded where all else had failed, muting his concerns and allowing him to drift into sleep.


Chapter III

Qui-Gon awoke to silence and shadows; stretched out alone amidst the tangled sheets. He released a sigh of frustration. Since their return from Neider, it seemed scarcely a night had gone by that he hadn't woken to find Obi-Wan missing from their bed. He knew that, as on previous nights, he would probably find the young man sprawled asleep upon a couch.

Wearily Qui-Gon rose, wrapping his robe around him he went in search of his absent lover; he frowned when he entered the main chamber and found it empty. He drifted through the room, unconsciously drawn towards his Bond-mate. Qui-Gon paused by his Padawan's former quarters; the adjoining door was open and someone was moving around inside. The room was unlit, but Coruscant's bright moon shone in through an open window. Qui-Gon stayed in the shadows; moving forward slowly, until he was able to see directly into the little room.

Obi-Wan sat, cross-legged upon the bed; silver shadows dancing across his naked skin. The young man was rummaging through his box of keepsakes - a collection of trinkets and oddments, most picked up from places they had visited together. He knew some of them - the small marbled pebble that had been his gift to the boy, the tooth of a Draigon, a little flute carved from achana wood.

He felt a sharp stab of shame. His concern, however great, did not give him the right to spy upon the boy. Still he was uneasy that Obi- Wan seemed completely unaware of his presence. Qui-Gon watched as his Padawan took something out of the box, holding it up to the open window, it glinted in the moonlight. It was a tiny bottle. Dark and slender, it gave no clue as to its contents.

He hesitated for a moment and then stepped forward. "Obi-Wan."

The youth jumped, sliding off the bed on to the floor, wild eyes darting frantically to the doorway. As he stepped into the room, any misgivings Qui-Gon felt over spying upon his young lover vanished at Obi-Wan's sudden guilty look.

Obi-Wan scrambled to his feet; boyish features set into a cool bland mask. Qui-Gon watched as his Padawan slipped the bottle back into the box, closing the lid with a soft click

"Sorry...I...I couldn't sleep. I was just...looking through some of my things...." Obi-Wan's eyes fluttered around the room nervously, settling everywhere but upon Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon attempted to reach his Bond mate through their link, his alarm spiralling as he found his Padawan's shields firmly in place.

"May I see?" He motioned casually towards the box, disturbed by the sudden panicked look in Obi-Wan's chameleon eyes.

"Its just junk...I was just sorting through it."

"In the middle of the night?"

The young man shrugged "I couldn't sleep...I'm sorry I didn't mean to disturb you."

Hi Padawan had offered the same excuse on previous nights, but this time he was not appeased by it. Under his steady gaze Obi-Wan appeared to grow increasingly nervous, dropping his eyes to the floor.

"Obi-Wan what was in the bottle?"

The young man's head snapped back up, his face bleached white in the silvery light.

"B...bottle?"

"The bottle I saw you take out of your box. What was in it?"

Obi-Wan's gaze slid back to the floor.

"Answer me Padawan!" Concern sharpened his voice - anguish pushing him toward anger.

"N-nothing...it's...." The young man drew a shuddering breath before continuing, this time with more certainty. "There's nothing in it."

"Nothing?" He frowned unconvinced. Obi-Wan looked uncomfortable.

"I just...I just 'liked' the bottle."

It was a poor explanation, and even Obi-Wan seemed to know it. They stood facing one another in awkward silence - Qui-Gon struggling to decide how best to act.

He knew something was troubling Obi-Wan, and after today's near disaster, he was afraid of what that 'something' might be.

Qui-Gon remained convinced that, whatever it was, it had nothing to do with their Bond. Their link allowed no room for uncertainty, he could feel the love and desire the younger man felt for him - and was continually astounded and humbled by it. On the one occasion he had queried his lover, Obi-Wan had become distressed, almost angry; clearly upset that Qui-Gon would have any doubts about his feelings. Then Obi-Wan had become alarmed, fearful that it was in fact Qui- Gon who was regretting their Bonding. It had taken some time to reassure the young man, and Qui-Gon had not brought the subject up again.

Confident that it was not related to their Bond, Qui-Gon decided Obi- Wan's poor concentration and general listlessness, stemmed from their troubles on Neider. The young man had simply got out of the habit of sleeping through the night; and enforced rest was guarantied to put his Padawan in a restless mood. The loss of appetite was more worrying, but again he told himself - it was simply an 'after effect'. He had fully expected these 'symptoms' to fade with time - today had shattered whatever illusions he had been clinging to. Obi-Wan was not getting better, he was getting worse.

Having identified, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there was something wrong with Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon now faced the problem of how best to uncover it. He had already tried and failed to get Obi-Wan to open up to him. Though with hindsight he realised Master Yoda was right, he had been spending too much time on research - time which would have been better spent with Obi-Wan.

Of course Obi-Wan hadn't exactly been talkative of late. Today had been a prime example of his Padawan's current conversational skills - or rather 'the lack of'. He didn't want to force Obi-Wan to talk to him; his instincts told him that, though this was not a problem with their Bond, it was one best solved between them as Bond mates - equals, not as Master and Padawan. However it was, as he had just discovered, too easy to slip into the role of Master - expecting, and receiving obedience. Perhaps they needed to get away from the confines of the Temple for a while? Go some place where they could simply be Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, and talk as lovers. He made his decision.

"Come back to bed Obi-Wan."

The young man blinked stupidly at him for a moment, obviously not expecting their conversation to take this turn; stepping forward only after a noticeable hesitation. Qui-Gon put an arm around cool, bare shoulders, and led his somewhat bewildered lover back to bed.


Chapter IV

When Qui-Gon awoke again, midnight blue had dissolved into the soft flushed pinks of morning; Obi-Wan was still sound asleep. For a brief moment he lay content, simply enjoying the closeness of the lean, warm body tucked up against him. Then the troubles of the previous day began to make their voices heard - a relentless litany of doubt and confusion.

He thought through the wisdom of his decision, and still found the judgement sound. They needed to escape the stifling seclusion of the Temple, to go somewhere they could explore their Bond without the unintentionally prying eyes of other Jedi. Somewhere they could just be lovers. He lay sorting through possible destinations in his mind. There was one place...Altair; a secluded world, uninhabited by men or machines, a haven he had last visited as a Padawan. He had long since held a desire to take Obi-Wan there, even before he had realised his true feelings for the younger man. Now would be the perfect opportunity.

Raising himself up onto his elbow he looked across at his lover. The young man's normally smooth boyish face seemed tired and careworn, tiny lines drawn around the youth's eyes and mouth. How long had they been there? Since Taogoa? He traced one gently with his forefinger. No, not Taogoa - Naboo. How much of this was his doing? Had his thoughtless actions carved these lingering marks of grief into his lover's flesh? Trapped in his memory was the look of hurt anger on the younger man's face, as he had announced his intention to take another as his Padawan. Obi-Wan's grief had sliced into him before mental shields had slammed into place, shutting him out.

Obi-Wan was still shutting him out, although not in the same way, his Bond mate wasn't shielding against him - at least not often. However, the younger man was clearly distressed over something, and Obi- Wan's stubborn refusal to let him help left him hurt and confused. Perhaps he shouldn't be so surprised, even as a very young boy Obi- Wan had always tried to struggle through his problems alone - as though seeking help was a sign of weakness; but it grieved him that his Padawan still wouldn't reach out for help.

Was it wrong of him to expect more from Obi-Wan now that they were Bond mates? Was he being unfair? Was he demanding too much from the younger man? After all it wasn't as though Obi-Wan was entirely aloof - certainly the young man wasn't being physically distant. Qui-Gon stroked a soft cheek sadly; that was part of what hurt - he felt as though his Bond mate was trying to convince him that all was well by their love-making; and it was tearing him apart.

He told himself that he was responding to Obi-Wan's almost 'overwhelming' physical and sexual demands solely because it strengthened their Bond and enabled him to maintain the sense of closeness he was afraid to lose. It did appear that, for the moment at least, it was the only way Obi-Wan would reach out to him. However it didn't eradicate the uneasy sense of guilt he felt.

He was unable to deny that even the possibility of refusing Obi-Wan was extremely unlikely. The intense pleasure of their encounters simply swept away all other considerations, and he was lost as soon as the younger man touched him. Even a touch wasn't always necessary - an intense look, a smile, Obi-Wan's clear rich voice; any of these possessed the power to shatter his thoughts - replacing them with a burning need that both awed and alarmed him.

Even now as his fingers drifted over sleep warmed flesh he felt the first stirrings of his arousal. It seemed all his anxieties couldn't over- ride his physical awareness of his Bond mate. A side effect of being Bonded? Or simply a side effect of having a young and beautiful lover? As gray-green eyes slowly fluttered open he no longer cared.

Stretching slowly the young man pushed up against him, grinning delightedly as he felt the physical evidence of Qui-Gon's desire. Qui- Gon closed his eyes, trembling lightly as Obi-Wan's fingers idly stroked across his chest.

The young man sighed dramatically, "I suppose we should get up."

Qui-Gon's eyes shot open. "What-?"

Obi-Wan grinned wickedly

"Well you'll be wanting to get back to your 'research'." The young man rolled his eyes, "and I still haven't finished replacing the power circuits on that...hmph-!"

Qui-Gon cut his lover off with a kiss, and proceeded to kiss and lick his way down his Bond mate's squirming body. Obi-Wan giggled, struggling half heartedly to pull away. "Hmm...power...cir-circuits...on that communicator...ah-!" It was Qui-Gon's turn to grin as he found a particularly sensitive spot. "Ah...oh...yesss...."

Trailing his tongue over the young man's flat stomach, Qui-Gon lightly nudged the rising erection as he slid his hands down trembling thighs. "Oh please...oh please...oh please...." He ignored his lover's pleas, drifting back up to claim a burning kiss. Obi-Wan writhed and twisted beneath him; gasping when he broke the kiss and drew back, //What do you want my love?//

The young man shuddered, //You...I want you....//

The images suddenly flooding their link left him with no doubt as to what his Bond mate wanted.

Reaching into the bedside cabinet he withdrew the bottle of unscented oil. As he opened it Obi-Wan sat up and took it from him. Smiling Qui-Gon leaned forward to steal a lingering kiss, then lay back down upon the bed. Obi-Wan impatiently pushed off the sheets and straddled him. Qui-Gon hissed as the cool oil hit his belly, trickling down his sides. The young man's hands trailed through it, warming it with shaking fingers, slowly drawing it down to coat Qui-Gon's straining flesh. His hardened member throbbed and pulsed beneath the sure, gentle strokes; until the pleasure became too much and he caught the youth's wrist.

Obi-Wan slid off his thighs, handing him back the oil before laying face down upon the bed. Qui-Gon took a moment to admire his lover, lean muscles and smooth skin tinted with the soft blush of dawn. Then he carefully poured out a little of the oil, letting it pool in the hollow of the young man's back. It was Obi-Wan's turn to gasp, wriggling slightly as cold oil trickled over warm skin. Quickly Qui-Gon massaged it into the supple flesh, smiling as Obi-Wan arched up to meet his firm smooth strokes.

He deliberately drew the oil upwards first. Rubbing it across the young man's shoulders, and neck, he let his fingers linger in the soft hair at the nape; Obi-Wan squirmed impatiently. Pouring out a little more oil he stroked it down the young man's sides, fingers sliding easily over the sleek muscle. Obi-Wan pushed himself up and Qui- Gon's fingers slipped underneath, first drawing across the taught belly muscle, then moving up to tease sensitized nipples. Obi-Wan cried out in wordless pleasure.

Qui-Gon slipped his hands back out and took up the oil again, this time pouring it directly over the young man's buttocks. Obi-Wan sank back down onto the bed, murmuring softly. Qui-Gon let his long fingers stretch out to play across his lover's flesh, lightly kneading each firm mound. Slowly he let his touch wander inwards, stroking oil gently down the crease, brushing his finger over the youth's opening with the lightest of touches. Feeling his Bond mate's response rippling through their link, growing dizzy with the pleasure of it.

When Obi-Wan pushed back against his gently probing touch he deepened it a little, letting his oil slick finger slip inside slightly. Sensing no discomfort, he pushed in a little further. Obi-Wan voiced his approval.

//Yess...oh yess//

Qui-Gon pushed, feeling the muscle relax and give beneath his gentle urging. A second finger joined the first, only moving when he was reassured the young man was still in no pain. He found the hidden nub and stroked across it lightly. Obi-Wan cried out, no longer capable of speech.

Withdrawing his fingers Qui-Gon gripped slender hips, gently raising the young man up until Obi-Wan was kneeling, head low, upon the bed. Qui-Gon surrendered his hold and with tender care guided his rigid flesh into the tight hot channel. Fully sheathed he paused a moment letting them both adjust to the overwhelming sensation of becoming one. Then as Obi-Wan shifted back a little he began to thrust, slowly at first, increasing the tempo as Obi-Wan moved to meet his thrusts. They reached out to one another through their link - connected in body and mind, feeling each other's pleasure as well as their own.

Qui-Gon reached around to take hold of Obi-Wan's length, hot and heavy, the silken flesh hardening beneath his fingers. He stroked it in time to his thrusts, instinctively knowing the necessary pace to ensure his Bond mate's total pleasure. Obi-Wan's excitement spiralled, drawing Qui-Gon helplessly towards release, and with one last, almost savage thrust he came. As he cried out his pleasure Obi-Wan stiffened in his arms; a gasp and then a warm rush of heat as his lover's seed spilled over his shaking fingers.

Struggling not to collapse across his lover, he withdrew carefully. Heart still pounding in his chest he sank back onto the bed, gently pulling Obi-Wan down to lay beside him. They lay in comfortable silence, limbs entwined, fingers gently stroking sweat slicked skin - not trying to arouse, just seeking to prolong the sense of closeness.

After a little while Obi-Wan smiled, brushing his fingertips across Qui-Gon's face. //What are you planning?//

Genuinely puzzled by the question, Qui-Gon frowned at his Padawan, causing Obi-Wan to chuckle softly. //I know that furrow// A finger settled lightly upon the older man's brow. //I used to dread it.// Grey- green eyes turned thoughtful. //I knew it meant that you were thinking up some new and terrible lesson for me//

Qui-Gon moved quickly capturing the young man's finger between his lips. He sucked on it gently. //Terrible?//

Obi-Wan gave a little gasp. //Hmm...well...perhaps not terrible...but...ah...difficult-//

Qui-Gon let his tongue swirl over the digit. //You learnt something from them did you not? //

//Ah ah...yesss-//

//Such as how to keep your mind upon one task, when your body has itself set upon another.//

//Hmm....//

He released the finger reluctantly, and to Obi-Wan's obvious dismay. "However you are quite correct my love. I do have something in mind." He smiled reassuringly to lessen the young man's sudden apprehensive look. "Not a lesson, nor a task. More of an excursion."

"An excursion?"

"You recall me mentioning Altair."

Obi-Wan nodded thoughtfully, "Yes, the planet you visited in your final year as a Padawan."

"Well...I thought perhaps, since we have a little time to ourselves, we could take the opportunity to go there."

He watched the young man's reaction carefully. Green-gray eyes widened a little, and he thought he detected a hint of uncertainty. However there was no real indication of unease as Obi-Wan smiled.

"Why not." The smile became mischievous. "Of course it may not be the garden paradise that you remember. I mean it's been so many years since you were there. It's probably a thriving metropolis by n-Ow!"

Obi-Wan rubbed his ear where Qui-Gon had flicked it. Qui-Gon laughed at the young man's expression. However he had little time to enjoy his moment of 'victory' before Obi-Wan reached out and tugged his beard - none to gently.

"Ow!" He caught his Padawan's hands when the laughing youth sought to continue his attack. Smiling he shook his head in mock disapproval as he struggled to hold on to his lover, an almost impossible task with them both still slippery with oil.

"Enough...Enough Obi-Wan."

His Bond mate sighed and lay still. "Alright I surrender. Do with me as you will." Qui-Gon chuckled and stole a kiss. Obi-Wan grinned. "You can do more if you like." It was Qui-Gon's turn to sigh dramatically.

"Have pity Obi-Wan. I will need some energy to fly the ship."

Obi-Wan shook his head in mock reproval.

"Master...master...that is why we have auto-pilot." As the young man laughed, Qui-Gon pushed his Bond mate onto the floor. With a long suffering sigh Qui-Gon climbed out of bed, stepping over his mirthful lover.

"You need to shower Obi-Wan." The young man scrambled to his feet. Qui-Gon pushed his Padawan back onto the bed gently. "I will go first. You can go after." Obi-Wan lay arms outstretched - a tempting vision, but Qui-Gon managed to turn away...just. He wandered through into the shower room; his mind entertaining images of incubus, and elemental creatures, thoughts tangled with the image of a beautiful green-eyed young man.


Chapter V - Obi-Wan

Mid-morning found Obi-Wan out in the city, threading his way through the crowded streets with deceptive ease; feeling cold and oddly bereft without his robe to draw around him. He was hopeful that clad in his oldest, wearable tunic, he would pass muster as an ordinary citizen. His Padawan braid had been a problem; he had pinned it up and, having released his hair at the back from its binding, had used the slightly longer strands to disguise it as best he could. He was fairly confident it would be enough to conceal his identity from any casual observer. He shifted the bag upon his shoulder, feeling the handle of his lightsaber stroke his ribs. The absence of its reassuring weight against his thigh made him tense and uneasy. He quickened his pace - he had very little time.

He had slipped away from the Temple shortly after Qui-Gon had left in search of Master Yoda. His Bond mate wished to inform the elderly Master of their plans - more out of courtesy than necessity. He knew the older Jedi also planned to see about acquiring a ship for their journey. However neither of these tasks would take his lover long, and he was anxious to return before his absence provoked any awkward questions. He had only managed to cry-off accompanying his Bond mate by using the erroneous excuse of running errands. A small lie which now weighed heavily upon his conscience.

Obi-Wan knew that Qui-Gon was worried about him. He had done everything he could to dispel his Master's unease, but still he sensed it, rippling in waves off the older man. He felt trapped by it, terrified Qui-Gon would probe too deeply and discover the truth. At first he had tried to casually shrug off Qui-Gon concern; but when that had failed to discourage the older man, he had been forced to retreat from his Bond mate whenever he sensed an attempt to make him 'open up.'

Somehow in the rigid atmosphere of the Jedi Temple it was easy to hide behind a screen of silence, however he was starting to feel afraid of what might happen now they were to leave. Still a small part of him hoped this trip could provide what he so desperately craved - an end to the nightmares which tormented him.

Obi-Wan knew Qui-Gon believed that he remembered very little of what had occurred on Taogoa - and in truth at the time it had been little more than a befuddled haze. However since then he found himself remembering more and more, as half-formed images hunted him through his dreams. He was both afraid and ashamed to share these memories with Qui-Gon.

It had made sleep impossible - every time he closed his eyes he smelt the rich sickly scent of oil, felt strange hands pawing at his naked body. Pretty...very pretty. Even more terrifying were the nightmares where he stood helpless, trapped behind a glowing red wall - gazing into deep blue eyes consumed by pain. He would claw his way back to consciousness, lying shivering and breathless, heart racing, too terrified to try and go back sleep.

At first his dreams had been held at bay by the comfort of his lover's arms, but it seemed their poison had plunged deeper. Now every night he was haunted by his memories, and his exhaustion was beginning to tell upon him. He desperately needed to rest. The sleeping draft he had procured before the mission to Neider did enable him to sleep without dreaming, but it left him oddly disorientated.

He had been determined only to use it as a last resort, every time he took some he told himself - no more, but as his nightmares increased in frequency and ferocity, he found he could no longer face sleep without it. Besides which it was becoming harder and harder to remember which nights he had taken some, and which nights he had not. The first vial had been consumed at an alarming rate, and the second was already more than half gone.

Hence his current desperate 'mission' - he needed more; several vials at least, since he didn't know how long this trip would last. He told himself it was only as a security measure; he fully intended to stop using the draft. Yesterday had frightened him, it seemed the sleeping draft had an unexpected side-effect. It was no longer just the nights that were a little hazy, now he was beginning to suffer from worrying memory losses during the day. At first it was barely noticeable, he would catch the end of a sentence in a half-heard conversation; making it impossible to reply without revealing that he had missed much of what had been said.

Yesterday was his first real 'blackout.' He had only the vaguest recollection of even leaving the Temple. His first really clear memory was of a Force wave hurling him backwards, and then the pale shocked face of his Bond mate, as Qui-Gon helped him to his feet. By the time they had returned to the Temple he had some idea of what must have occurred. However it wasn't the shock from his narrow escape which had knotted his stomach in fear, but the thought of trying to explain himself to Qui-Gon. He had tried to put off the inevitable questions by pleading exhaustion. However his fear voiced itself as anger, and even now he felt ashamed at how short he had been with the older man.

Turning sharply down a narrow side street he left the general throng behind; the stalls and shops which littered these narrow twisting passageways did not attract the casual buyer. He ignored the unwelcoming stares of suspicious sellers, moving on briskly towards his goal. Despite the seeming same-ness of every street he entered, he walked without any hesitation, led by a Jedi's unerring sense of direction.

He stopped outside a small shop halfway down a street. The windows were dark and dirty, making it impossible to see inside. Straightening his shoulders determinedly Obi-Wan pushed at the door, it opened a crack and then stuck. A muffled voice called out from within.

"Just a minute! Just a minute! Let me just...ah...just move this...like so...ugh...and then you can get in. Yes-" The door jiggled violently. Obi-Wan released the handle, as he did so someone inside began to drag the door open; muttering and cursing with the effort. Suddenly the door swung backwards, and there was a cry followed by a tremendous clatter. Obi-Wan watched as a golden plate rolled out of the open doorway, he side-stepped it nimbly - it travelled on a little way before striking a pebble, wobbling and falling flat. He retrieved it before turning back to enter the gloomy shop.

Even with Jedi-enhanced sight it took Obi-Wan a moment or two before his eyes got used to the darkness. There was a curse from somewhere in the vicinity of the doorway. He pulled the door forward a little, and revealed the shop owner - laying in an untidy heap amongst a pile of bric-a-brac. The greasy-haired little man looked up at him. "Oh, it's you again." Frowning the man waved a pudgy hand at Obi-Wan. "Well help me up! Help me up!"

Schooling his features to hide a smirk, Obi-Wan stepped over the various pots and plates, and heaved the grumbling shop owner to his feet. The man brushed Obi-Wan aside impatiently as soon as he was upright, kicking his way through the untidy jumble toward the counter. Obi-Wan waited patiently for as long as he was able, which due to his growing sense of urgency wasn't long.

"I need-" The shop keeper raised a hand to silence him. Frustrated Obi-Wan waited until the little man had arranged himself, in a business like manner, behind the counter. Finally the shop keeper waved for Obi-Wan to continue. "I need some more of the sleeping draft you sold me."

"How much more?"

"As much as you have."

The shop-keeper's eyebrows rose."You have payment for this?"

Obi-Wan stepped up to the counter; swinging his bag off his shoulder he tugged it open and drew out the items he had brought to trade.

The shop-keeper fingered them, thoughtfully. "These," he lifted up a thread of glass Jacata beads, "are worthless."

"But-" Again the shop keeper waved him silent. Angrily Obi-Wan held his tongue.

The man lifted up the boots Obi-Wan had acquired on Taogoa. "However these are worth one vial."

"One!"

"That's my offer."

Obi-Wan stared at the man in despair, one vial would never be enough. He hesitated, then with shaking fingers he withdrew something else from the bag. The shop keeper's eyes lit up with avarice.

"How...how many vials for this?" The shop keeper practically snatched it from his shaking grasp.

"This - this is a real focusing crystal!" The man's eyes widened in disbelief. Obi-Wan nodded, mute with misery. Holding it up to examine it more fully the shop keeper's face grew suspicious. "Where did you get this?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes it matters! If I am arrested before I can sell it!"

"You won't be arrested. It...it belongs to a friend."

"Someone gave you this?! " There was no mistaking the disbelief in the shop keeper's voice.

"No...no...they don't know I have it."

Comprehension dawned and the man smiled slyly. Obi-Wan felt his stomach knot.

"Ah, you 'borrowed' this from your 'friend'?"

"Yes."

"And this...'friend,' what if they come looking for it?"

"They won't."

Greed warred with caution for a moment. Then the shop keeper nodded, slipping the crystal away out of sight.

"Done." The man fussed about in a cupboard behind the counter for a moment before turning round and placing three dark blue vials before Obi-Wan.

"Three! A focusing crystal is worth more than your entire shop!"

The shop keeper stiffened.

"Perhaps, but three is all I have. You want more, you will have to come back next week."

"I n e e d i t n o w." The shop keeper stepped back a little at the dangerous flicker in Obi-Wan's eyes.

"It's all I have!"

Obi-Wan drew in a deep breath, forcing back the darkness which threatened to rise up and choke him. He nodded and managed to smile a little.

"Very well. If it's all you have." He made a small gesture with his hand. "It is all you have?" The fear faded from the shop keeper's face as his features slackened, and the man intoned blandly,

"Yes it is all I have."

Obi-Wan struck the counter, cursing under his breath. Snatching up the vials he pocketed them quickly. As he turned to go he hesitated, looking into the still blank face of the shop keeper. Carefully he edged his way behind the counter, and began rummaging around under it. However the crystal seemed to have disappeared. Taking a deep breath he passed his hand across the shop keeper's face, the man didn't so much as twitch. He decided the shop keeper must be one of those individuals who was extremely susceptible to Jedi mind control - either that or he had been a little more forceful in its application than he had thought.

Pushing back his disgust he searched through the shop keeper's clothing - still nothing. Increasingly exasperated he decided to risk a more direct approach.

"Where is the crystal?"

The shop keeper smiled dreamily.

"Safe."

"Yes, but safe where?"

"Safe."

"No!" Obi-Wan took another deep breath and lowered his voice. "Yes I know it's safe but where is it safe. Where have you put it?"

"In the safe."

"What-?"

The shop keeper pointed at the cupboard behind the counter. With a rapidly sinking heart Obi-Wan approached it, opening the doors he let his sensitive fingers move lightly along the shelves, reaching out with the Force, until.... "No." With a gasp of dismay Obi-Wan slid open a tiny compartment revealing a surprisingly sophisticated matter- transmitter; one capable of breaking down inanimate objects into their molecular components before transporting them to the other half of the device - wherever that was be located. The crystal could be halfway across the galaxy. Obi-Wan let his head rest against the cupboard door with a soft thump.

After a brief moment he pulled himself together. The crystal was gone, somehow he would have to conceal that fact from Qui-Gon - he just didn't know how. He had come here with the intention of using the crystal as a bargaining piece, but somehow he had never actually thought beyond that point. He looked into the expressionless face of the shop keeper, horrified, as the reality of what he had done began to sink in. He pocketed the vials and picked up his bag; waving a hand across the man's face he staggered out into the street before the awakening shop-keeper had chance to blink.


Chapter VI - Obi-Wan

He wandered back to the Temple in a blind daze. Utterly lost in his despair, the relief he felt at finding Qui-Gon still hadn't returned to their quarters barely registered. He went through to his old room, dropping his bag on the floor beside the bed. Reaching up to the shelf above he took down his keep-sake box. Sitting cross-legged upon the bed he opened it carefully and took out the vials. Solemnly he lined them up, side by side, together with his most recent purchases.

Three full vials and one half...no - three quarters empty. Would it be enough? He reached out and stroked one gingerly; freezing as he sensed Qui-Gon's approach. Quickly scooping the vials up he slipped them all into the bag, pushing it carefully under the bed.

"Obi-Wan?"

"Coming!"

He closed the box, hastily putting it back on the shelf before hurrying out of the room - only to slide to an abrupt stop as Qui-Gon appeared in front of him. "Sorry Mast-...Qui-Gon." He corrected himself hastily, hoping the slip would pass unnoticed; his heart sank as he looked up. His Master missed nothing.

Obi-Wan felt painfully young, as he struggled to meet his Bond mate's penetrating gaze. "I...I was just getting some things together...For our trip." Relax, relax He forced himself to smile, and linked his arm through the older man's - attempting to draw Qui-Gon away from the open doorway. "Did you find us a ship?" Qui-Gon seemed perplexed, but nonetheless allowed Obi-Wan to lead him back into the main room.

"Yes, I have our ship, and I have spoken with Master Yoda." Qui-Gon smiled. "It seems he approves of our plans." Seeing the laughter in his Bond mate's eyes, Obi-Wan sensed there was a little more to it than that.

"Oh?"

"Yes. It seems he was growing impatient waiting for us to leave. Apparently he had already decided that we should." The older man laughed softly. "I think if we had delayed much longer he would have flown us to Altair himself!"

Obi-Wan relaxed a little, he grinned. "As long as he didn't decide to stay with us!"

The older Jedi feigned a look of horror; and Obi-Wan collapsed into a fit of helpless giggles; as he did so he felt the knot which had settled in his stomach ease slightly. Qui-Gon smiled at him indulgently.

"Come along my Padawan, the sooner we get our things together the sooner we can leave...and the happier Master Yoda will be."


Chapter VII

Qui-Gon felt his anxiety lift a little as he watched Obi-Wan pack - enjoying the young man's soft laughter. After their early morning love- making Obi-Wan had become subdued. He had returned from his shower to find his Padawan still stretched out upon the bed, looking pale and tired. When the young man had declined to accompany him to sort out a ship, he had begun to worry that Obi-Wan was already having second thoughts about their trip.

He had expressed his concerns to Master Yoda who had reminded him, not unkindly, that Obi-Wan was still very young, and that the young sometimes needed others to guide them. The ancient Jedi added that even if Obi-Wan didn't want to go on this trip, Qui-Gon - as the boy's Master, should know if it was the right thing to do. Qui-Gon was not happy at the thought of forcing his Bond mate, but at the same time he recognized the validity of Master Yoda's advice. He was still Obi-Wan's Master and as such was bound, on occasion, to make his Padawan undertake tasks which the young man was objectionable to.

Qui-Gon could recall several occasions when Obi-Wan had been less than pleased at his instructions - Jhu'khana meditation exercises immediately came to mind. Traditionally they required three days of sitting in complete silence - not an easy task for a talkative, energetic fourteen year old.

After some deliberation Qui-Gon decided, still with some slight misgivings, that even if Obi-Wan did suddenly announce that he didn't want to go to Altair - he would insist upon it. He didn't relish the thought of dragging a sullen moody Padawan all that way, but if it was for Obi-Wan's own good - then so be it. Nonetheless it was a relief to discover that any drastic action appeared to be unnecessary, since Obi- Wan had apparently undergone another mercurial mood change; the young man now seemed quite content to be preparing for their trip.

Qui-Gon didn't take long to gather his few belongings; he left Obi- Wan to finish packing while he contacted the control tower to request that their ship to be readied for immediate departure. He barely suppressed a sigh as he was told there would be a slight delay...'there was a minor problem - a circuit failure in the ship's navigation panel, but they would contact him as soon as it was repaired'. Qui-Gon thanked the man and, with little else to do, sat down to wait.

He was already beginning to regret his decision to accept this ship. Unfortunately there had been very little choice. With the recent shifts in power there was some disharmony in the Republic, and the Jedi had been sent out to ensure order was maintained. No-one wanted a repeat of the Trade Federation's recent exploits. Nothing too untoward had occurred, mainly the usual grumbling which always accompanied the appointment of a new Supreme Chancellor; but the Jedi Council was wary. The encounter with the Sith had shaken the Order; perhaps, Qui-Gon thought darkly, not such a bad thing - complacency could be dangerous. However with so many Jedi absent available ships were limited - and old; their numbers reduced even further by the engineers decision to service the remaining craft.

As a Jedi Master, Qui-Gon was entitled to take a ship whenever and wherever he chose - without having to give a reason, or log in a destination. His arrival at the hanger, early that morning had caused some consternation - with ships in various states of repair, some scattered in pieces across the hangar deck. Qui-Gon hoped he had hidden his dismay; nonetheless great efforts had been made to find him an appropriate craft as quickly as possible.

The ship he had finally been allocated was the last in line to be serviced, and thus still in one piece; it had only recently been in for repairs - hence its current position in the 'overhaul queue.' The Chief engineer assured the Jedi the craft was perfectly spaceworthy, but in any case he would have one of his men give it a thorough check. Evidently that 'thorough check' had uncovered a fault.

He was about to tell Obi-Wan not to hurry, and to brew some spiced tea, when his communicator chirped - their ship was ready and waiting in departure dock 'C.' Gratefully Qui-Gon thanked the engineer, ending the communication just as Obi-Wan re-appeared; he opened his arms in silent invitation and the young man crossed the room and settled in his lap.

Obi-Wan turned his head to nuzzle Qui-Gon's neck. "Trouble?"

Qui-Gon dropped his head back, and closed his eyes. "Hmm...no...no trouble."

"Well are we going then?"

Warm fingers strayed inside his tunic, and Qui-Gon struggled to bring his mind back into focus.

"Go? Yes, we can go."

"Good." The playful fingers left as Obi-Wan withdrew his hand and jumped lightly to his feet; Qui-Gon stood a little more slowly. He gave one last glance around their quarters, before following his Padawan, as the young man headed for the docking bay.


Chapter VIII

Out of sight and earshot of the engineers Obi-Wan made several disparaging remarks regarding the condition and age of their ship. One earned the Padawan a dark look, as the impudent youth enquired, in an innocent tone, if it was the same ship which had taken Qui-Gon to Altair on his first visit! Qui-Gon gave his Bond mate a swift smack which sent Obi-Wan laughing up the ramp.

Inside the tiny craft things were more than a little cramped, though the ship did at least have reasonably sized sleeping quarters. Qui-Gon left Obi-Wan to organize their things, while he settled himself into the cockpit; he checked the readings thoroughly before flying them smoothly out of the hangar. The bright orange lights of Coruscant soon faded behind them as their ship headed into open space. Once they were clear of the planet's atmosphere and he had steered them through the busy shipping channels, Qui-Gon set the auto-pilot and went back to join Obi-Wan.

Space may be cold, but small ships seldom were and this one was no exception. His Padawan had already shed robe, boots and tunic top, and was laying on the bed - looking hot and flushed. Qui-Gon slipped off his own robe, before sitting on the edge of the bed to remove his boots. He made no attempt to conceal his surprise when Obi-Wan suddenly sat up and slipped past him.

"Where are you going?"

Obi-Wan stood and gave him a puzzled look.

"To fly the ship." The young man said it as though it were obvious.

Qui-Gon's stunned expression quickly shifted into a predatory gleam, as he caught the teasing glint in gray-green eyes. Reaching up he caught hold of his Padawan's braid, coiling the silken strands around his fingers. He tugged gently, drawing Obi-Wan down to kneel between his parted thighs.

"I thought that's what auto-pilot was for...." He continued to twine the braid around his fingers, until his knuckles lightly grazed his lover's cheek

Obi-Wan's eyes widened. "Oh?"

"So a certain young man told me."

His Padawan grinned. "That must be a very intelligent young man."

Qui-Gon shook his head. "He's a brat." As Obi-Wan opened his mouth to object Qui-Gon swooped down - capturing his lover's lips, in a kiss guaranteed to silence any protests.

Sweet madness All thought fled as Qui-Gon devoured Obi-Wan's mouth, demanding access to the sensuous heat within. His Padawan responded with equal urgency, hands pulling frantically at Qui-Gon's tunic. Still holding the braid in a tight, almost desperate grip, Qui-Gon laid back onto the bed, gently drawing Obi-Wan with him - until the young man lay on top of him, never once pausing to break their kiss.

He reached down with his free hand to cup the young man's buttock, as Obi-Wan ground his hips against him. He could feel the heat of the youth's arousal through the layers of tunic. Qui-Gon tried to control the pace but his Padawan was equally determined. Finally he was forced to relinquish his hold on the braid, needing both hands to turn them so he now lay on top of Obi-Wan. Eyes alight with green fire burned into him, demanding, pleading. He pulled away just enough to yank off his tunic top - Obi-Wan's shaking hands assisted with his leggings. Qui-Gon lifted himself up a little more, allowing the youth to squirm out of the remainder of his clothing. He barely waited until his Padawan had freed his legs before lowering himself back down, closing his eyes to absorb the overwhelming pleasure of hot flesh against hot flesh.

He felt Obi-Wan reach for him through their Bond link; as their minds touched sensation spiralled, pure incandescent need flared into brilliance, burning away the last lingering embers of restraint. Qui- Gon set the tempo, his body moving rhythmically over Obi-Wan's, as he covered his Padawan's face and throat with fervent kisses. He felt Obi-Wan's hands clawing at his back, urging him closer, faster...Flesh grew slick as the tempo increased, driving them towards their release. As Qui-Gon's tongue trailed fire across the young man's chest, Obi- Wan's hands flew up to seize his face, drawing him into a last deep, desperate kiss. He felt the young man tremble, every muscle tightening, and as Obi-Wan cried out into his mouth he fell blindly into his own shattering release.

He drifted back slowly to discover he was collapsed on top of Obi- Wan, however when he tried to move the young man's limbs entwined around him holding him in place //Hmm...don't move....//

Qui-Gon shifted slightly, drawing a little of his weight off his lover, before complying with his Padawan's wishes. He nuzzled a damp cheek until Obi-Wan turned his face, enabling him to steal a kiss. The young man smiled against his mouth, stroking his tongue over Qui- Gon's lips, deepening the kiss, until Qui-Gon reluctantly drew back. //I love you, but I need to rest a little.// Gray-green eyes filled with laughter, even as Obi-Wan's perfect mouth set into a pout.

Qui-Gon moved off his Padawan to lay upon the bed, and this time Obi-Wan made no attempt to restrain him. Instead the young man turned onto his side and settled comfortably into Qui-Gon's embrace.


Chapter IX - Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan was trapped by walls of red, forced to watch helplessly as a horned beast ruthlessly drove his Master back. In a move almost too quick to follow the creature struck. Obi-Wan howled as his Master stumbled towards him, deep blue eyes already dulled to soulless black.

//Obi-Wan!//

"Nooo!" He shot up, to find himself crouched upon a cabin bed. Disorientated, he fell back gasping, trying to sort through the images.

//Obi-Wan!//

//Ma...master?//

//Get up here now!//

Still trying to shake himself free of his nightmare, Obi-Wan scrambled to his feet. Snatching up a robe from the bottom of the bed he raced out of the room, pulling it around him as he ran.

He tumbled breathlessly into the cockpit, his sense of urgency fuelled by the tension he could feel flowing from the older man. Qui-Gon sat in the pilot seat, face grim with effort as the Jedi Master wrested with the controls.

"We're losing power Obi-Wan, I can't stop our descent."

Obi-Wan looked past his Master to the viewscreen, and felt his stomach plummet - instead of distant stars he saw cloud vapour, growing rapidly more turbid as they plunged deeper into swirling gray mists.

"I don't have enough engine thrust to break us free of the atmosphere."

On the surface Qui-Gon's voice was deceptively calm, but Obi-Wan caught the edge of desperation beneath the level tones, and the seriousness of their situation struck him like a slap, shaking him free of his shock.

"I'll check the engines!"

Without waiting for an answer Obi-Wan stumbled back through the ship, hampered by his robe - which he now realised was Qui-Gon's. Hoisting it up he ran through the narrow passageway, bare feet slapping against the cold metal. The walkway grew warmer as he approached the engine room, and as he opened the door a wave of heat almost knocked him off his feet.

Inside the temperature was stifling. Pushing up his sleeves Obi-Wan opened a wall mounted tool box and selected a small hydro spanner. The ship began to shake as it was buffeted by the planet's atmosphere. Steadying himself Obi-Wan tried to remove the engine's control casing, only to release it quickly as the metal scorched his skin. Grimacing he carefully drew his sleeve over his burnt fingers, and managed to lever the panel off. Inside was a fused mass of molten wires and fused circuit boards; cursing he fumbled with the hot panel - pushing it clumsily aside.

Sweat ran down his forehead, trickling into his eyes; sore swollen fingers were already slippery with it. He wiped his sleeve across his face, trying to clear his vision; his eyes felt as though someone had poured salt water into them. Biting his lip he pushed back the pain, struggling to keep his focus upon the task in hand. Carefully he tried to pry away the fried circuits to look at the damage underneath. A shower of sparks made jump him back, just as the ship shuddered violently, sending him sprawling to the floor. The hydro spanner flew from his grasp - disappearing underneath an energy coil.

Obi-Wan lay dazed for a moment, then as the ship steadied itself he rolled over onto his belly and tried to retrieve his spanner...it was just beyond his reach. He tried to use the Force to draw it to him, but it seemed to twist away, eluding his desperate pleas. His sight seemed to be growing cloudy, alarmed he scrubbed at his eyes - and found he couldn't feel his hands...everything was slipping away...he was drifting...falling...darkness.

//Obi-Wan!//

Obi-Wan shook his head groggily, he was still stretched out on the floor, his hand underneath the energy coil.

//Obi-Wan! Get out of there!//

He didn't hesitate, pushing himself to his feet he staggered unsteadily out of the engine room, slamming his hand against the door panel. As the door shut behind him he felt the impact of an explosion against it. The shockwave drove him forwards and he collapsed onto his knees. Almost at once the ship lurched, then it began to spin; sending Obi- Wan hurtling helplessly down the passage. He was thrown from wall to floor, clawing uselessly at them as he fell. The force of the ship's spiralling descent slammed him brutally into the bulkheads, battering his body, driving the air from his lungs.

He heard Qui-Gon's desperate //Obi-Wan!//, then the harsh groan of rendering metal, a terrible screeching as the ship itself seemed to cry out; before he was sucked into silent, bottomless black as everything crumpled around him.


Chapter X - Obi-Wan

Consciousness beckoned, but bruised and battered, Obi-Wan was reluctant to follow. Persistently it pulled at him, until slowly, painfully he responded. His senses were immediately overwhelmed with the acrid smell of scorched metal and burning rubber. Choking he coughed helplessly, jarring his body sending spikes of fresh pain shooting through him. Gasping for breath he almost slid back into the welcoming darkness, only to be jolted from it by the sharp metallic taste of blood.

Cautiously he ran his tongue around the inside of his mouth, discovering a loose tooth and enough little cuts and nicks to account for the blood filling it; allaying his fear of a more serious cause. He tried again to call the Force to his will, but it still seemed deaf to his cries. Almost sobbing with frustration Obi-Wan reached out slowly with his fingers, feeling the rough weave of his robe, and the smooth metal surface of the deck?

From touch alone he couldn't tell where he lay, but he was reluctant to open his eyes; he wasn't even sure that he could, they felt as though they had been repeatedly pummelled by sharp knuckled fists. Blinking to ease the stiffness of his lids, he eased them open slowly, whimpering as the cold bright light hit them. Tears flooded his vision, blurring everything into shapeless shadows.

Gradually his sight cleared, and it was then Obi-Wan realised he must have fallen the full length of the ship. He was sitting with his back pressed up against the cockpit door, however the ship was apparently twisted onto its side, as his legs were stretched out across a wall; the floor to the left of him, the ceiling to the right.

With the Force still refusing to answer his call, Obi-Wan drew his stiff swollen fingers down each limb and across his torso, checking for injuries. It appeared he had been fortunate; scarcely any part of him had escaped being bruised, scraped or scratched, but nothing was broken, and he had no deep lacerations. Gritting his teeth he pushed himself up onto his hands and knees, and turned around to face the cockpit door.

"Qui-Gon!" An ominous silence was all that greeted his desperate cry. //Qui-Gon!//.Stabbing frantically at the door mechanism he called out again//Qui-Gon!// Realising the door's controls were useless he wrenched off the panel. Tears blurred his vision as he struggled to override the switch; his burnt fingers refusing to manipulate the wires. He finally succeeded in isolating the correct wires, only for them to slip from his grasp as he attempted to twist them together. "No!-" Distraught he tried again, but it was hopeless. Without the Force to aid him he could only beat his fists in frustration against the door, crying out his anguish, "Qui-Gon! Qui-Gon!" .//Master...Master...Answer me...please....//


Chapter XI

It was the siren call of his Padawan's despair which pulled Qui-Gon back from the darkness. Instinctively he reached out to comfort and reassure his Bond mate, //Obi-Wan.//

//Ma-master...?//

//Ssh Obi-Wan, I am safe. Are you hurt?// His reply was a jumbled rush of images and emotions so painfully intense, he had to fight not to raise his shields against them. //Obi-Wan hush, it's alright.// He tried to soothe the distraught youth through their link but Obi-Wan seemed on the verge of total collapse. Ignoring the pain Qui-Gon struggled free of the wrecked pilot seat and scrambled toward the doorway. Realising the door's controls were useless he drew upon the Force to assist him.

He had barely begun to pry it open when Obi-Wan wriggled through the narrow gap. The youth threw himself at Qui-Gon, enfolding the older man in a fierce embrace; Qui-Gon clutched his tear stained Padawan no less frantically, as he reassured himself that Obi-Wan was alive, and whole, and unhurt. It was a trembling Obi-Wan who finally drew back a little, just enough to scan Qui-Gon with anxious gray- green eyes.

"You're not hurt?"

Qui-Gon shook his head; gently drawing Obi-Wan back toward him he held the shaking youth close, laying his cheek against his Padawan's soft spiky hair.

"We have been very lucky." He glanced around the darkened cockpit, the view screen was entirely blacked out, buried in some unknown substance. "However I feel our ship has fared less well. Perhaps we should take a look and see?" He relaxed his embrace, raising his hand he brushed his fingers lightly across a tear stained cheek, Obi-Wan watched him through damp spiky lashes. "Alright?" The youth nodded.

Using the Force Qui-Gon opened the door a little further before clambering carefully out of the cockpit, Obi-Wan followed. Edging along the passageway, he eased aside the debris, ducking under exposed wires and pipes - still spitting sparks and hissing steam. The main door was free of wreckage, but as Qui-Gon extended his senses he realised it was still impassable as it was completely blocked from the outside.

He turned his attention to the emergency hatch, opening the first door warily. Qui-Gon knew the ship's hull had been breached - the fact that they were still alive, indicated the planet had a breathable atmosphere; but other than that the world outside was unknown. Clad only in his tunic and boots he slipped easily into the narrow exit tube; though it required a little more effort to turn himself in order to operate the manual release mechanism for the outer door. As it opened slowly he glanced up, Obi-Wan was watching him intently, face drawn and shadowed.

"Wait there." Obi-Wan gave no indication that he had heard. "Obi- Wan!" The youth's eyes snapped into focus, "Stay inside while I take a look." The young man opened his mouth as if to object, but then closed it, nodding silently. Qui-Gon offered his Padawan a reassuring smile. //I won't be long Obi-Wan.// Obi-Wan didn't smile back, a worried furrow had settled between concerned gray-green eyes.

Qui-Gon turned away; sliding down the exit tube he dropped to the ground in a crouch, his fingers immediately sinking into cold, black sand. Damp and gritty it clung to his skin. Brushing it off as best he could he stood, turning around to face the ship. He quickly realised it was this same black silt which had cushioned their impact, saving them from almost certain disaster.

Their stricken craft lay on its side, half buried in the sand; its once sleek form savagely torn apart. His eyes were drawn to the deep ragged tear along its underside, where the outer hull had literally been shorn open; a victim of the jagged rocks which jutted up out of the desolate gray landscape. These razor like projections stretched out as far as the horizon line on all sides. Had they struck the ground anywhere but here the ship would have been ripped to pieces.

The black sand surrounded a deep blue-green pool, its opaque surface eerily still and lifeless. In fact the whole planet seemed strangely silent - no bird song, no insects, no sign of life at all, save for a few sparse clumps of withered yellowed grass. These pale bedraggled plants were the only other colour in a monotonous landscape of gray and black. As he walked forward the sand became stonier, stretching out into a cracked, ridged surface. He squatted down to touch the ground beneath his feet, frowning as he did so - it was basalt; which meant the 'sand' wasn't sand at all - it was volcanic ash.

He scanned the horizon line, taking in the distant mountains - were they volcanoes? and if so were they still active? There was sign that they were, and certainly the lava beneath his feet had long since cooled, wrinkled into knolls and fissures. He shivered suddenly chilled. Hearing the crunch of sand behind him he turned, not overly surprised to see Obi-Wan gingerly making his way across the rough terrain.

Qui-Gon shot his Padawan a mildly displeased look, "I thought I told you to wait in the ship?"

"Sorry Master." Obi-Wan looked genuinely contrite, and Qui-Gon had no wish to belabour the point so he merely nodded, accepting the youth's apology. Obi-Wan looked relieved and edged a little closer. "Do you know where we are?" Sighing wearily Qui-Gon shook his head.

"No, it seems the navigation system was malfunctioning."

Obi-Wan's eyes widened. "So...we could be anywhere?" Despite the young man's efforts to conceal it, Qui-Gon caught the sharp edge of worry in his Padawan's voice.

"I doubt we can have travelled far Obi-Wan. We will initiate the distress beacon, someone will find us."

Obi-Wan nodded but Qui-Gon knew his Padawan was far too astute not to have guessed the true nature of their situation. Their ship was certainly no longer capable of flight, they were stranded here until someone came for them. However, they had no way of knowing how long the navigation system had been feeding the autopilot false information; they could be light years away from any inhabited area of space. Their distress beacon had a limited range and power supply; it was entirely possible no-one would hear it.

Qui-Gon tried not to dwell on where all this might lead; instead he focused upon their immediate challenges - setting the beacon, cataloguing their supplies, and finding shelter. The ship appeared fairly stable but it was very close to the water, and a tremor, if there was one, could send it into unknown depths. He decided it would be best to make shelter close to the craft, rather than inside it. He was about to call Obi-Wan to follow him when he noticed the young man's bare feet. Scratched by the sharp gritty sand, and abrasive rocks, they were bleeding from numerous cuts and welts.

"Obi-Wan!-" The young man followed his gaze, quickly dropping the corner of robe he was holding.

"I didn't have time to get my boots."

Qui-Gon frowned, the explanation was acceptable - but it did not account for why his Padawan had disobeyed him to cross the harsh terrain barefoot.

"Stay here," he made his expression just severe enough to discourage Obi-Wan from any further rash behaviour, "and don't move. I'll fetch your boots." Obi-Wan nodded, looking suitable abashed. However as Qui-Gon turned to go the youth added,

"I need my robe too." Qui-Gon looked at the robe his Padawan was wearing and raised an eyebrow inquiringly. Obi-Wan smiled somewhat sheepishly and held up an arm, the sleeve hung over the young man's hand. "I think this one is yours."


Chapter XII

Qui-Gon climbed back into the ship cautiously. Though the ship seemed secure - held fast by the sand - he made his way slowly and carefully. The air around him crackled with electricity making his skin tingle; while the smell of burnt rubber and plastic made him nauseous. Struggling to ignore the assault on his senses, he re-entered the cockpit. Pulling aside the broken remains of the pilot's seat he reached under the console to switch on the emergency beacon's independent power supply. He gave a small sigh of relief as a green light flickered on - its steady pulse a sign that the beacon was now working.

Moving back through the ship he entered their sleeping quarters; the door was half open, allowing him to slip inside with relative ease - despite the devastation within. The bedding had been torn from the bed, the mattress completely up-ended, their few belongings were strewn around the room. He located Obi-Wan's boots first; it took him a little longer to track down the young man's robe, and while he was looking he also discovered Obi-Wan's tunic. As he turned to leave his foot struck something soft - Obi-Wan's bag. He picked it up, noticing as he did so that one side of it was newly damp - stained with something, a dark substance, oily against his fingertips. After a moments hesitation he decided against opening it - he would leave that to Obi-Wan. Instead he held it in a way which, he hoped, would minimise any further damage to the contents.

Obi-Wan stood anxiously awaiting his return, smiling in relief as he re-emerged from the ship. However as he approached, the young man's eyes dropped to the sodden bag in his hand; they flickered up again quickly, and he caught a glimpse of something - panic? in their mercurial depths; before Obi-Wan shuttered it away. Qui-Gon was careful not to indicate that he had noticed anything, smiling as he handed over the clothing. Obi-Wan uttered a slightly subdued 'thank you' before reaching for them. However Qui-Gon was quite unable to contain his horror as he took in the ruination of his Padawan's hands. Too late Obi-Wan tried to hide them. Dropping the clothing, Qui-Gon took hold of Obi-Wan's wrists as the young man attempted to pull away,

"Let me see them Obi-Wan!" Silently, sullenly the young man obeyed and Qui-Gon sorrowfully cast his eyes over his Padawan's sore, swollen fingers. Burnt and blistered they had to be causing the young man tremendous pain - but Obi-Wan, being 'Obi-Wan', was bearing it with typical stubborn stoicism. Qui-Gon withheld a sigh - just. He would have to go back for the medi-kit. He cursed himself for not bringing it earlier - Obi-Wan's abused feet would also need attention.

Releasing the young man's wrists he bent down to pick up the robe and tunic; standing he motioned Obi-Wan to remove the other robe. After a slight, almost imperceptible hesitation, Obi-Wan did as he asked. Qui-Gon's mouth tightened into a thin hard line as he took in the bloody scrapes and rising bruises scattered over his Padawan's body. Wordlessly he assisted Obi-Wan in dressing; folding his own robe up he lay it down upon the smoothest patch of ground in sight. "Sit there." When Obi-Wan just looked at him Qui-Gon stepped forward; laying his hands upon his Padawan's shoulders, he gently pressed the young man down. Then he turned and without another word strode back across the sand toward the ship.

Qui-Gon was alarmed by the anger flowing through him; but the sight of Obi-Wan's injuries had induced a rage he was powerless to contain. Much of that anger was directed against himself; he fully recognized the futility of regret, but he couldn't help but curse his decision to leave Coruscant. He wasted no time in retrieving the ship's medi-kit, striding back across the black sands just in time to witness Obi-Wan struggling to put on his boots.

"Obi-Wan!-" As his Padawan froze mid-action, Qui-Gon covered the last bit of ground at top speed, taking the boots off a startled Obi-Wan he set them well out of reach. He sat down and took hold of Obi- Wan's left foot, lifting it gently onto his lap, "Just sit still and let me take care of you, alright?" He saw his Padawan's eyes widen at the raw emotion in his voice, and he struggled to bring himself back under control. Keeping his head bowed he concentrated on cleaning the dirt and blood from the young man's foot. He was relieved to discover that most of the blood came from superficial scratches; he smeared them with antiseptic ointment, and then turned his attentions to the right foot. It had one slightly deeper cut just inside the instep, and he felt Obi-Wan tense up as he cleaned the grit from it. He used their link to offer wordless comfort - still not trusting himself enough to speak.

Finally done, Qui-Gon set Obi-Wan's feet back down upon the robe, and reached for the young man's hands.

"They're not so bad-" Obi-Wan fell silent at his sharp look. The young man remained silent while he examined each badly burnt finger; but sucked in a sharp breath when he began to gently clean them. Qui- Gon used the Force to ease his Padawan's discomfort; not giving a thought as to why Obi-Wan wasn't already doing so. Neither he nor Obi-Wan were trained as Healers, but all Jedi possessed the ability to accelerate the healing process, and could place themselves in a healing trance when necessary - just as he had done on Naboo. Qui- Gon used this ability now, to heal the worst of Obi-Wan's cuts and burns.

When Qui-Gon was satisfied he had done as much as he could, he wrapped them in a thin layer of gauze to protect them as they healed; and then turned to deal with his own minor cuts and scrapes. He had only one which required moderate attention, a cut, just inside his hairline where a 'flying' panel had struck him. It had already stopped bleeding, and he peeled away the matted strands of hair which had become entangled in the dried blood. He didn't miss the way Obi- Wan's eyes narrowed, evidently the young man hadn't noticed his injury before now. He could feel the concern and frustration emanating from his Padawan, who, bandaged as he was, was unable to offer any assistance. Still Qui-Gon had years of practice at dealing with his own injuries, and was only mildly hampered by the fact that he couldn't see this one.

Finished, he set the medi-kit aside and stared up at the sky - a dreary washed out gray, it appeared to be darkening slightly towards the distant mountains - a storm? or simply night settling in? Either way they would need shelter. Standing, Qui-Gon unhooked his lightsaber from his belt and held it out to the younger man,

"Stay here Obi-Wan, and be watchful," he gave his Padawan a warning look, "I cannot sense any life here, but that doesn't mean that we are alone."

However as he spoke Obi-Wan was already scrambling to feet,

"I'm coming-"

Qui-Gon cut in firmly, "No, you are not. You will wait here."

"I can help!" The young man's tone was almost plaintive, but Qui-Gon shook his head,

"Obi-Wan your hands need to heal a little. Now please do as I ask and stay here." Perhaps it was the weariness in his voice, or his use of the word 'please' which shifted Obi-Wan into obedience. Whatever the trigger, the young man whispered a barely audible,

"Yes Master," before accepting the lightsaber, and sitting back down upon the folded robe. Qui-Gon knelt back down quickly, taking the dejected looking face in his hands, he placed a light kiss onto surprised lips.

"Qui-Gon, not 'Master.'" He smiled, a little sadly. Obi-Wan's eyes glittered,

"Hmm yes, I forgot.We're on vacation."

Qui-Gon shot the youth a sharp look to see if the young man were being sarcastic, but he saw only mischievous humour in his Bond mate's gaze. He shook his head in silent wonderment - both at Obi- Wan's sense of humour, and its timing.


Chapter XIII - Obi-Wan

The amusement left Obi-Wan's face as he watched Qui-Gon head back toward the ship. Had his hands not hurt so wretchedly, he would have punched the ground in frustration. It had been mortifying enough, to have to sit like a child while Qui-Gon had tended to his injuries. To have to sit here now, while his exhausted Master did all the work, was unbearable. He stared despairingly at his bandaged fingers, only grateful that, as yet, Qui-Gon hadn't questioned his failure to use the Force.

Obi-Wan was deeply shaken by his inability to draw the Force to him, something that had only ever occurred before when he had been very sick. He shivered, remembering his desperate attempts to use the Force on Taogoa. Then he had felt disjointed - able to call the Force, but unable to control it. Now, he felt disconnected. He could still sense the Force, but it wouldn't respond to him. His mouth twisted bitterly, perhaps losing the sleeping draft wasn't such a bad thing.

When Obi-Wan had caught sight of his soaked bag, his insides had turned to ice. He had fought to conceal his panic, managing to wait until Qui-Gon had returned to the ship before frantically rifling through its contents; heedless of injured hands or broken glass. However his desperate search had revealed only shattered remains - all three vials had been completely crushed, their precious contents lost.

Of course there was a chance, a very slim chance, that the fourth almost empty vial, was still in one piece. It had been in his robe pocket, but since it wasn't there now he assumed it had fallen out inside the ship. However, another possibility struck him as he sat - what if the vial had slipped out when Qui-Gon was carrying the robe? It could be somewhere outside the ship. Spurred into action by the thought, Obi-Wan wasted no time crawling over to his boots, wincing as sharp stones dug into already tender, broken skin. It was a painfully laborious task, to force his swollen feet into the unyielding leather. His bandaged hands were all but useless, and he finally gave up trying to fasten the buckles.

Biting his lip, he stood, a little alarmed at how unsteady he felt. Drawing in a deep breath he set off across the uneven ground, trying to trace the path Qui-Gon had taken. He scoured the ground hungrily, pacing back and forth; until a sudden twinge in his side took him by surprise.

//Obi-Wan?//

Qui-Gon's concerned mental voice called out to him. Obi-Wan sucked in a sharp breath; clutching his side he attempted to raise his shields, to block Qui-Gon's awareness of his pain. They wavered rather alarmingly, and he knew he had only partially succeeded. He tried instead to offer worded reassurance,

//It's nothing. I'm alright.//

He knew he had failed when he still felt Qui-Gon's concern through their link.

//You are not resting.// It wasn't a question, Qui-Gon had slipped through his defences and into his mind. //I told you to stay there did I not?!// It was worry, not anger which sharpened Qui-Gon's 'voice'; but in pain, and somewhat panicked Obi-Wan's own temper flared,

//I didn't realise I had to obey orders from my lover.//

A lengthy silence met his words, and he almost cried out an apology. The pain in his side was easing slightly when Qui-Gon finally replied.

//Do as you wish Obi-Wan.// The older man's tone seemed saddened, and again Obi-Wan wanted to shout out that he was 'sorry', but again something held him back.

Almost at once he felt Qui-Gon withdraw from his mind; stricken, Obi-Wan sank down into the wet sand. Burying his face in his hands he wept; his tears stinging his seared skin. Obi-Wan welcomed the pain, embracing it as a suitable penance for 'wounding' his Bond mate.


Chapter XIV -Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan had no idea how long he sat there, pouring out his grief to the indifferent landscape. When he finally calmed himself, he felt even worse than before. The sharp pain in his side had returned as a dull ache, his head throbbed, while his eyes felt sore and scratchy. The cold, wet sand had soaked his robe; but though chilled and achy, he was too drained to stand. Hugging his knees he stared out across the bleak gray tephra, trying to will away the pain. Without the Force he couldn't tell what was causing the ache in his side - and fear festered in his mind.

"Obi-Wan."

It was a moment before he realised the gentle words were not inside his head; he looked over his shoulder to find Qui-Gon stood watching him. The older man's face was coolly composed, but Obi-Wan could see the sorrow and anxiety in his Bond mate's dark blue eyes.

"Obi-Wan, I need your assistance with the shelter. If your hands are-"

"They're fine." Obi-Wan lied, quickly scrambling to his feet. Qui-Gon gave him a searching look, but simply nodded, before turning back toward the ship; silently Obi-Wan followed.

He was a little bewildered as to why Qui-Gon had sought his help. The shelter was purpose built, and easy to assemble alone. Still he didn't question the older man's request, grateful to finally have something useful to do, and relieved Qui-Gon seemed willing to overlook his earlier outburst

Working in a slightly awkward silence they set up the shelter; close enough to the ship to benefit from its cover, but not so close as to be crushed by it should it move. When they finished, Obi-Wan sank down onto the canvas floor, stifling a pain-filled moan. He lay back wearily, drawing his arm up over his eyes. "I need to bring out the rest of the supplies...." Qui-Gon's voice tailed off, and Obi-Wan moved his arm. As he looked up, Qui-Gon added softly, ". If you wish, you may stay here?" Still feeling ashamed, Obi-Wan nodded, offering a tremulous smile.

"Thank you."

Qui-Gon returned the smile with a faint one of his own. No sooner had the Jedi Master left, then Obi-Wan released the moan he had been struggling to contain. Rolling over onto his side he pulled his knees up to his chest. The nagging ache in his side was spreading, encompassing his whole torso, and it was growing in intensity - heightened to a hot tortuous pain, tendrils twisting outwards, driving into bone, flesh, and muscle.

Just as suddenly the pain left him. Shivering, Obi-Wan lay - confused and weak. His damp robe felt icy cold against his body; shrugging out of it he curled himself up into an even tighter ball. His eyelids began to drift shut. Obi-Wan fought against his weariness, before finally...reluctantly, surrendering to it. Closing his eyes he offered a silent prayer to whatever gods might be listening, please don't let me dream...don't let me dream.


Chapter XV

Qui-Gon assembled their supplies mechanically, his mind only partly focused upon his task. The rest of his thoughts, both conscious and otherwise, were tied up with Obi-Wan. He had felt his Padawan's pain the instant it had struck - just before Obi-Wan had raised his shields against him. However they were hopelessly inadequate, and he had slipped through them easily - his concern overriding all other considerations.

Touching his Bond mate's mind he had found it clouded with fear and pain. Duly alarmed, discovering his Padawan was on his feet and moving around had been enough to tip him toward panic. He knew his anxiety had perhaps made his words harsh, but still he was stunned by Obi-Wan's sudden burst of anger. Surprised, hurt and a little at a loss, he had floundered for a moment.

Qui-Gon knew Obi-Wan wasn't seriously hurt, he had used the Force to check them both for any internal breaks or bleeding. Concluding that Obi-Wan was simply, typically pushing himself too hard, too soon, Qui-Gon had reluctantly withdrawn; leaving the young man to his own devices. However his concern for Obi-Wan had been impossible to ignore, and he had left the ship almost immediately.

He had found his Padawan sitting, huddled on a sand bank. The need to reach out and touch his young love had been overwhelming; however it was the sight of Obi-Wan's tear stained face that had almost been his undoing. Only a sense of Obi-Wan's discomfort had held him back.

Mastering control of his own distress he had resisted the urge to drag Obi-Wan into his arms, and had instead managed, quite calmly, to ask for assistance assembling the shelter. His reward had been Obi-Wan's look of grateful relief.

Qui-Gon made one last visit to their sleeping quarters - gathering up their few remaining personal belongings, the blankets, and Obi-Wan's lightsaber - which he found behind the overturned mattress. Prepared for an indefinite stay on Altair they had some supplies, including a water purification unit, for which he was unspeakably grateful. However Altair was a lush, tropical planet - so they had no food, other than the ships emergency rations, and no warm clothing. Jedi had a high tolerance for extremes of heat and cold, and could survive on minimal food and water - but he and Obi-Wan were still only human. Without adequate food and water, they would not last long on this desolate world.

Having secured what he'd salvaged from the ship under a protective canvas, Qui-Gon trudged wearily back to their shelter. The sky had darkened to a threatening charcoal gray, and a cold wind whipped around him. He found Obi-Wan asleep, clad only in his tunic. Frowning he lifted up the young man's robe - it was icy cold, and soaking wet. With a muttered curse he tossed it into a corner. Gathering up the blankets he lay them across the sleeping youth. Then, exiting the shelter, he crossed the sands to retrieve his own robe. Laid upon the bare rock it was cold, and a little damp, but no worse than that. Putting it on, he hurried back. The wind was growing stronger, throwing the coarse grains of sand up into his face. He shielded his eyes as best he could; spitting out the sour grit as it clung to his lips and crept into his mouth.

Back inside he removed his robe and slipped under the blankets,

"Wha-what?"

"Sssh, it's alright Obi-Wan, go to sleep."

Obi-Wan turned over to curl up against him. "Hmm, you're cold."

Qui-Gon attempted to pull away a little, but Obi-Wan hooked a leg over him. "No, don't move...I'll warm you...." Smiling into his Padawan's soft hair, Qui-Gon tightened his hold on the younger man.

"Thank you, my love."

Already asleep again Obi-Wan didn't answer.


Chapter XVI

Qui-Gon awoke, to discover Obi-Wan had all but climbed on top of him. His Padawan lay across his chest, legs tangled with his own, face tucked into the crook of Qui-Gon's arm. Loathe to disturb the sleeping youth, but increasingly aware of the hard ground pressing into his back, Qui-Gon swept his fingers softly across his Padawan's brow.

"Obi-Wan?" The forehead crinkled slightly. "Obi-Wan?"

//Hmm...?//

//Obi-Wan, I need to get up.//

//What...?// A sleepy head rose slightly. "Oh-" Obi-Wan's cheeks flushed pink, as mumbling an apology, he tried to withdraw.

However before the young man could slip off him, Qui-Gon lifted his hands to cup his lover's face - pulling Obi-Wan to him for a very thorough kiss. He felt surprise, then pleasure emanate along their link, as Obi-Wan's lips opened beneath his. By mutual need the kiss deepened, Obi-Wan moving rhythmically against him. He felt the young man's burgeoning hardness, and as his own body began to respond, he broke the kiss. Reluctantly recognizing there were more pressing matters at hand. Obi-Wan apparently realised the same, for he relinquished his hold on Qui-Gon with a gentle sigh, but no real protest.

The first thing Qui-Gon realised as he left the collected warmth of Obi-Wan and the blankets, was that the temperature had dropped considerably. Since his robe was still a little damp he wrapped one of the blankets around his shoulders before stepping outside - Obi-Wan following his example.

Outside things looked little different, the wind had dropped, and the sky had resumed its previous watery gray tones- but it was definitely colder. He turned to glance at Obi-Wan, who shivered and clutched his blanket a little tighter. Qui-Gon threw an arm around his Padawan's trembling shoulders, "Come on Obi-Wan, get back inside. I'll see what I can find us for breakfast." He didn't know whether to be relieved or worried when Obi-Wan capitulated without a word; slinking silently back into the shelter. Trying, unsuccessfully, to push aside his concerns, Qui-Gon wandered over to their supplies.

They had several canisters of water, but he wanted to use it sparingly until he was sure the purifier could extract something drinkable from the murky pool; since it seemed to be their only other source. As yet, despite the dampness of the ground, there was no way of knowing when or even if it would rain. So he took only one water canister, and a couple of protein bars. Looking at the latter he sighed - Obi- Wan detested emergency rations. After a moments hesitation, he pulled out some candied fruits he had snuck in for the trip, knowing they were the young man's favourites. There weren't many, but hopefully they would help to make the protein bars more palatable.

Obi-Wan's nose wrinkled as Qui-Gon handed over a protein bar.

"Thank you." Qui-Gon almost smiled at the distinct 'lack' of appreciation in his Padawan's voice.

"Hold out your hand."

Obviously puzzled, the young man nonetheless held his hand out obediently. Qui-Gon dropped the candied fruits into it. Obi-Wan's face broke into a wide smile - the first for some time, Qui-Gon realised. A moment later he was grabbed in an almost choking hold.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

Laughing Qui-Gon disengaged himself gently from his Padawan's somewhat enthusiastic embrace, "Alright, alright Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan drew back a little, still grinning he stared at the sweets in his hand, "You got monda berries!" The young man looked back up, "How did you know I like those?"

Qui-Gon smiled, raising a hand to lightly caress Obi-Wan's cheek, "It's my duty to know my Padawan's needs," He leaned forward and kissed Obi-Wan's lips softly, "And it's my pleasure to learn my Bond mate's." He was surprised, and a little pleased, when Obi-Wan blushed; murmuring another soft 'thank you' The young man looked at the candies thoughtfully a moment, before holding them out to Qui- Gon; who raised an eyebrow inquiringly.

Obi-Wan shrugged, "You choose first."

Qui-Gon was about to refuse, when he caught the look in his Padawan's eyes. "Thank you, Obi-Wan."

"You can have the monda berry ones if you like-" The young man added quickly, flushing deeply when Qui-Gon's smile turned even warmer.

"Thank you Obi-Wan, but I think I should prefer the peechae fruit." He was about to take it when he paused, "If that is alright with you?" Qui-Gon smiled at his Padawan's barely concealed relief, and as the young man nodded, he took the peechae candy.

They enjoyed a brief respite as they consumed their somewhat meagre breakfast; taking only a few, careful sips of water. Afterwards they discussed the order of the day. Since the terrain was so flat it would be relatively easy to walk a considerable distance and still keep the ship in view. Qui-Gon planned to map out the widest possible circumference around their ship. Hopefully he could discover something edible, or at the very least another water source. Obi- Wan's face reflected bitter disappointment when Qui-Gon instructed the young man to remain at camp.

"Someone needs to act as an anchor point, Obi-Wan. Besides I need you to see if you can get anything drinkable out of that pool."

Obi-Wan agreed, with some reluctance; then added hopefully, "I could take a look at the ship's communications array. Perhaps I could rig something up?"

Qui-Gon frowned, "Maybe later. I don't want you going back into the ship while I'm not here."

"But-"

"That is an order Padawan."

"Yes Master."


Chapter XVI - Obi-Wan

Muttering to himself, Obi-Wan crouched down by the waterside, his eyes fixed on the monitor in front of him. Qui-Gon had left straight after breakfast, and Obi-Wan had immediately turned his attention to setting up the water purification unit. He was still upset at being grounded at camp, and irritated that he had been forbidden to re-enter the ship.

Last night he had been too exhausted to dream...but tonight? He had to find that remaining vial. A thorough search while he had been waiting for the first water readings to come through, had turned up nothing; so it had to be inside the ship. Obi-Wan was torn between his obedience to Qui-Gon, and his desperate need to locate the last of the sleeping draft.

He turned his full attention back to the monitor as the next set of readings appeared. After checking them through twice, he allowed himself a small smile of satisfaction - they had water. Done, he made to stand, only to freeze as a sharp spasm of pain jabbed at him. Panting he clutched his side, as the pain flickered on a knife edge, a breath away from retreating to its usual dull, gnawing ache. Trying to ignore it, he stood up slowly; as he did so it suddenly flared outwards, sending shards of white hot agony shooting through his body.

Clenching his teeth against a scream, Obi-Wan sank to his knees, doubling over as another spasm struck. He tried to suck in a breath, but his chest felt as though it were being crushed by an invisible force. He couldn't breathe...he couldn't breathe...spots danced before his eyes; he fought against panic as it rose up, threatening to overwhelm him.

Suddenly strong arms encircled him, and gratefully he leaned into their support. Someone was talking to him in low, urgent tones, but he was unable to reply. Another wave of pain hit, and desperate to stop the agony, he struggled to speak; gasping as the pain wrenched the words from him, "Make...make it...stop...please...make it sto-stop...."

It hurt so much. Why hadn't he passed out? Why did it hurt so much? He wouldn't scream...he wouldn't....


Chapter XVII

Qui-Gon had been walking for some time, and had still found only shrivelled grass, and dry tumble-weed. His pace was slow, and cautious; the uneven ground held deep fissures - waiting to snag a misplaced foot. The air was cold, and each drawn breath made his chest ache. He pulled his robe tighter; it was still a little damp - the planet's pale sun gave no warmth to dry it.

He had stopped to get his bearings when he felt 'it' - a sharp stab of distress. //Obi-Wan?!// Pain...pain and fear - Qui-Gon didn't hesitate, turning back toward the ship he raced across the tephra. Guided by a Jedi's instincts he crossed the scarred landscape with unconscious ease. His gaze fixed ahead, Qui-Gon's mouth tightened as he caught sight of the crumpled figure beside the water's edge.

It seemed an agonizing length of time before he finally reached Obi- Wan. Sinking into the sand beside the youth, he wrapped his arms around his Padawan, "Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan, What is it?!"

He turned the young man's face gently toward him, and stared - shocked by his Padawan's startling pallor; lips drawn back in an expression of almost animalistic suffering.

Obi-Wan's eyes pleaded with him wordlessly. Distraught he stroked the young man's face. "Obi-Wan...." He reached out with the Force, letting it sweep through his young love's mind and body, soothing...searching...seeking....

Qui-Gon started a little, How? How could that be possible? He stretched his senses out a little further, then took hold of Obi-Wan's face and stared intently into his Padawan's pain-filled eyes.

"Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan, listen to me!" Gray-green eyes focused on him slowly. "You have been poisoned. Listen to me Obi-Wan!" The young man's awareness was drifting - desperately Qui-Gon tightened his grip, pressing his fingers almost painfully into his Padawan's white face. "Obi-Wan I need to know what you have taken?!"

"Make...make it...stop...please...make it st-stop...." The words, rasped out between sobbed breaths, tore through Qui-Gon like a saber thrust.

//Oh my love, I will...I will.// He pressed his lips briefly to his Padawan's forehead, the young man's skin was icy cold. He drew back and again looked into Obi-Wan's eyes, willing the youth to focus on him. Obi-Wan did, but it was obvious the young man was rapidly losing consciousness.

His voice hoarse with fear, Qui-Gon pleaded for his Padawan to answer, "Obi-Wan, please What did you take?" He glanced around him wildly, struggling to think, his gaze fell on the purification unit. "The water? Obi-Wan did you drink the water?" There was no reply as Obi-Wan' eyes began to roll back. "No! Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon slapped the young man's cheek - once, gently...then again, a little harder. Obi-Wan moaned softly, gray-green eyes slowly focusing upon Qui-Gon's tortured face.

"W-water."

"Yes! The water. Did you drink any?"

"N-no."

"Alright, good Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon stroked a pale, cold cheek gently. "Good, you didn't drink the wa-" He broke off as Obi-Wan suddenly arched up, writhing in renewed agony. Helplessly Qui-Gon held his Padawan until the painful spasm passed.

Obi-Wan looked at him piteously, "H-hurts...."

Fighting back anguished tears Qui-Gon nodded, "I know. I know my love" He was trying to use the Force to block as much of the young man's pain as he could - but it didn't seem to be having any effect. "You must try to think Obi-Wan. There must be something...perhaps before?"

He felt Obi-Wan stiffen slightly, but knew this time it was with realization, not pain.

"Sleep...sleeping." Obi-Wan swallowed harshly, "Sleeping draft...."

"What-?"

"I...I took...a..sl-sleep...draft..."

With renewed urgency Qui-Gon pressed the youth,"When? When did you take it Obi-Wan?!"

"Nei...der...."

Confused, Qui-Gon pushed aside all his other questions, concentrating on the important ones. He knew the sleeping draft couldn't have come from the Temple, Master Segella would never have given it to Obi- Wan without informing him. Which could only mean Obi-Wan had purchased it secretly. Why? His heart cried out for answers, but he forced his mind to ask the more urgent ones.

"Obi-Wan, do you know what was in it? The ingredients Obi-Wan. What were they?" Obi-Wan's eyelids fluttered, then closed. "No! Obi- Wan! Padawan answer me!"

Obi-Wan obeyed the order instinctively, eyes opening slowly, "M-master?" Obi-Wan seemed dazed.

Relieved Qui-Gon nodded, "Yes my love. Now think, Obi-Wan - The sleeping draft, what was in it?"

Obi-Wan's forehead crinkled in thought; but after only a moment the youth hook his head despairingly,

"I can't...Master...I-" Obi-Wan' voice broke on a sob.

"Sssh, yes. Yes you can my love." Qui-Gon stroked his Bond mate's face soothingly, willing his own strength into the trembling body. Obi- Wan closed his eyes again, this time in concentration.

"P...perriara Berries...Tucuml...He-hepsom...Mun-?..Mundus-"

"Mindus?" Qui-Gon cut in quickly, fear edged his words. "Was it Mindus?"

Obi-Wan opened his eyes, after a brief hesitation the youth nodded, "Yes...Yes...I think so...."

Qui-Gon released a shuddering breath. Obi-Wan stared, confusion etched into his pale, drawn features. Struggling to keep the despair from his voice, Qui-Gon answered his Padawan's unspoken question, "Mindus is deadly to those gifted with the Force. It is a poison to us, Obi-Wan."

Gray-green eyes widened, and Qui-Gon saw the fear in them. Moving swiftly he lifted Obi-Wan into his arms. Obi-Wan responded by circling an arm loosely around his neck. Using the Force to augment his hold, Qui-Gon carried his Bond mate back into the shelter. Laying Obi-Wan down upon a blanket, he drew the others over the young man's shivering body.

He paused when Obi-Wan reached up and caught his hand weakly.

"What...what will happen?"

When Qui-Gon didn't answer, the young man tightened his grip; green-gray eyes flaring with sudden determination. "Tell me!"

Qui-Gon met his Padawan's gaze calmly, but was unable to completely keep the tremor from his voice,"I...There is nothing I can give you Obi-Wan. Your body must fight off the poison...." Qui-Gon's throat tightened, choking off his words - leaving unspoken what would happen if Obi-Wan failed. It didn't need to be said; Qui-Gon saw understanding in his Padawan's eyes...understanding...and acceptance.

It was more than he could stand. Pulling his hand away, he shifted back. "I'm going to see if there is anything of use in the medi-kit." Obi-Wan nodded listlessly, eyes fixed on the canvas above. Tears clouding his vision Qui-Gon ducked out of the shelter. Once outside, he walked only a few paces before sinking to his knees; silently spilling his despair into the cold, black sand.


Chapter XVIII - Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan stared upwards, his eyes fixed on nothingness. The pain had receded to a dull, bruising ache; leaving him oddly numb and hollow. Poisoned?...He was poisoned...It didn't seem real...but he knew it was. Even without the Force, he could already feel the Mindus burning through his blood, tainting his flesh. He lay, in silent wonder, at the bitter irony of it all.

All his life, he had only ever wanted to be a Jedi...a Knight - and it was almost within his grasp. As a child he had been outgoing and gregarious, and yet he had always felt isolated; even amongst his peers. Until he had encountered Qui-Gon Jinn. Obi-Wan had felt the connection instantly; though as a 'boy' he had been unable to understand it. Years had added wisdom and experience to youthful instinct - he understood now part of what had drawn him to Qui-Gon. It was the recognition that the revered Jedi Master had also been alone.

Now it seemed everything was going to be snatched away from him....

Obi-Wan wasn't sure when his feelings for his Master had changed. He wasn't even sure they had changed. It seemed to have been a natural, steady progression - from awe and respect, to affection...to love. He did love Qui-Gon, with a fierceness he still found frightening - especially since...Naboo. Even now, as he remembered what had happened, a bitter coldness crawled over him.

His Master had always seemed an unstoppable force. Qui-Gon had been injured on occasion, but only rarely, and never badly. Never...until....


Obi-Wan had felt his Master's weariness, as the Sith Lord had rained blow upon blow against the exhausted Knight. Trapped and helpless, he had stood by, as his unbeatable Master was driven back. Standing so close to the laser wall it had scorched his hair and tunic, he had willed his Master to succeed. As though by strength of purpose alone, they could defeat this darkness.

Unconsciously Obi-Wan had reached out to his Master - and had felt fear? He reeled as he realised the fear was for him! Qui-Gon was fighting to prevent the Sith from reaching him! Stunned by the realisation Obi-Wan had pulled back - too late; Qui-Gon had sensed him, and felt his shock.

The Sith had increased its attack, and his Master had again been on the defensive. Parry...strike...thrust...parry...stumble...thrust-. //Master?// An eerie, still silence...then Qui-Gon had looked at him; and Obi-Wan had watched as the life faded from his Master's eyes.... Nooooooo!.


Tears pricked his eyes - spiky heat and the sting of salt. He brushed them away angrily. He had hidden his grief for this long, he would not burden his Master with it now. Obi-Wan could not let Qui-Gon know that fear - fear that his Master...his Bond mate...might die - had led to him taking the sleeping draft.... A desperate act which may now have condemned him to death.


Chapter XIX

His face taut with grief Qui-Gon struggled to his feet. Wiping savagely at the tears which seared his eyes he stumbled forward to their supplies. Dragging back the canvas covering he quickly rooted out the medi-kit. He opened it with trembling fingers - rifling frantically through the contents. But his search only confirmed what he already knew - it held nothing that could be of any use to Obi-Wan.

In silent despair he sank back down to the ground, his legs suddenly too shaky to support his weight. Why?...Why would Obi-Wan even take a sleeping draft?...What had led his Padawan to such madness? Qui-Gon felt utterly lost. Poisoned...his Obi-Wan was...poisoned Drawing up his knees, he buried his face in his hands; struggling to find the same calm strength his Padawan had shown.

However his emotions churned within him, worrying ceaselessly at the last remnants of his tattered self-control. He knew what was to come.

Mindus had long since been discarded by reputable apothecaries and healers. Once used in medicines intended to induce a general feeling of 'well-being', it was discovered that in many cases it was generating unpleasant side-effects - such as hallucinations and memory loss. However to those gifted with the Force, its effects were far more insidious...and deadly.

To them Mindus was dangerously addictive even in small amounts. The drug would take hold quickly - demanding higher and higher doses. However, since Mindus clouded the mind they would remain ignorant of their craving...and would blindly feed their growing need. Eventually the user would be locked in an endless nightmare - unable to distinguish reality from drug-induced hallucinations. Coma and then death usually followed. A less fortunate individual might be spared such a release and remain trapped for all eternity in a hell of their own creation.

The scarce few who had their addiction discovered before they reached the 'final stages' faced a terrible ordeal. There was no easy path back from Mindus-addiction, a user would have to stop consuming the drug immediately, and then battle their way through withdrawal - 'symptoms' which included agonizing muscle spasms, chills, fever, fits, delirium. Many went mad enduring it...some died.

Qui-Gon raised his head from his hands, the bleak despair in his eyes replaced by a sudden fierce determination No!...He would not allow that to happen!...Not to Obi-Wan....

Before Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon had lived in a kind of self-imposed isolation. He had not been a recluse, he enjoyed company, he had friends...lovers; but he had maintained his distance. His isolation wasn't wholly intentional, he was simply self-contained by nature. Empathic to the needs of others, he gave little thought or concern for his own.

He had been entirely content....until Xanatos. The loss of his Padawan had left a gaping hole in his soul; his stunned sense of failure only a distant ache compared to the raw pain of his broken Master - Padawan Bond. He had vowed never to undertake the training of another student.....but he had not counted upon meeting Obi-Wan Kenobi.

No matter how distant, how detached, how coolly he behaved toward the boy, Obi-Wan seemed undeterred. Stubborn, persistent and recklessly brave, Obi-Wan Kenobi was an immovable, unstoppable force. Qui-Gon smiled faintly, in recollection of that determined boy. Often surprising, always challenging, life with Obi-Wan was rarely dull. His smiled faded as he remembered how close he had come to crushing Obi-Wan's youthful hopes.

His stubborn refusal to take Obi-Wan as his Padawan had eventually overcome the boy's dogged determination. Though relieved that the boy had broken off his 'pursuit', Qui-Gon had also felt a disquieting sense of 'loss.' He had ignored it....Until the moment came when he was faced with the possibility of losing Obi-Wan forever. It was only when Obi-Wan had declared his intention to sacrifice himself for Qui- Gon's sake, that Qui-Gon had realised that the boy's life was already irreversibly intertwined with his own.

He had accepted the boy unwillingly, but Obi-Wan Kenobi had filled an emptiness in his life, and now the thought of returning to that old hollow existence was unbearable. He needed Obi-Wan, and, without any trace of arrogance or conceit, he knew that Obi-Wan needed him in equal measure. He could not accept that they had been brought together, seemingly by the will of the Force, only to be so brutally wrenched apart.

Pushing aside his weariness, Qui-Gon stood, a little shakily, and walked to the water's edge. Kneeling down beside the purification unit, he ascertained that it was working before going back to the supplies. Taking three of the water canisters, and a handful of the protein bars, he hauled the canvas back over the rest of their provisions.

Turning, Qui-Gon paused briefly to compose himself, taking deep, steadying breaths. He was unable to completely bury his fears, they remained like knives embedded in his heart; however he was determined Obi-Wan would never know of them. The young man would need strength and courage to face the ordeal ahead. Qui-Gon chided himself bitterly, he could not afford to indulge in hysterics, tears would not help Obi-Wan; his Bond mate would need his support, his strength. There would be time later to tend to his own needs, for now Obi-Wan was all that mattered.

Obi-Wan was asleep when he re-entered the shelter. Placing the water canisters in the corner, Qui-Gon lay down carefully beside his lover. Even in sleep the young man's face was lined with pain - pale thin cheeks streaked with dried tears. Qui-Gon reached out with the Force, gently letting it flow into Obi-Wan, offering what little comfort and relief he could. He grimaced as he encountered the Mindus, its cold, poisonous tendrils curling through his Padawan's body; spreading their infection. Gently he touched the young man's mind through their Bond link, relaxing a little when he felt Obi-Wan's unconscious response.

The light outside was failing as the short day came to a close, and another long, cold night drew in. Qui-Gon made no attempt to wrest any of the blankets from Obi-Wan's white knuckled grip, instead he made do with his robe, folding it around himself as best he could. He did not expect to sleep, not with his mind torturing him with visions of the agonies to come. However eventually his weariness overcame him, and he fell into an uneasy, troubled sleep.


Chapter XX

A soft sound of distress cut through Qui-Gon's dreams. Immediately alert, he pushed himself up onto his elbow and looked over at Obi- Wan; but it was too dark to make out more than a shape, huddled beneath the blankets. //Obi-Wan?// He reached for his young love through their link, only to be rebuffed. Alarmed he tried again, and this time, as he gently pushed against his Padawan's shields, they gave way - Pain!....So much pain!....

Overwhelmed by the sudden outpouring of agony from his Padawan's mind, Qui-Gon drew back; shielding himself instinctively. However he was already sitting up, reaching for the lamp suspended from the canvas roof. He lit it quickly and turned back to Obi-Wan.

The young man was lying upon his side, legs drawn up, a corner of blanket stuffed into his mouth to muffle his screams. However the harsh lamp light betrayed the young man's agony - sallow skin stretched tightly over sharp cheekbones, eyes sunken into deep bruised shadows, wide with pain and fear.

"Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon gently drew the blanket away, Obi-Wan whimpered softly; teeth clenched to hold back his cries. The young man's skin was icy cold. Keeping the blankets firmly wrapped around the youth, Qui-Gon carefully drew his Padawan into his arms. Obi- Wan resisted briefly, then clung to him with frightening desperation; bandaged fingers reaching out to grasp his own.

Cradling his Bond mate in his arms, Qui-Gon felt each pain-racked tremor as it coursed through Obi-Wan's body. At first the young man contained his cries, but as the pain bit deeper, Obi-Wan cried out in agony - tears flowing down his face. Through his own tears Qui-Gon whispered words of love and encouragement; urging his Bond mate to be strong, that the pain would pass. Eventually it did; leaving Obi- Wan exhausted and trembling. Qui-Gon made to lay Obi-Wan back down, but the young man protested wordlessly.

"Ssh. It's alright Obi-Wan, my love. I just need to fetch the water. "

Carefully - as though the youth were spun from glass not flesh and bone - Qui-Gon laid Obi-Wan back onto the bedding. Retrieving the water he raised the youth up a little to let him drink. Obi-Wan managed a few, tiny sips before he sank back, closing his eyes, "I....I don't think I can do this...."

At these words, Qui-Gon felt a coldness grip him. Wetting his fingers with a little of the water, he gently wiped away the traces of tears and sweat from Obi-Wan's face and neck. The youth opened his eyes and looked up at Qui-Gon, "I..I'm sorry....."

Qui-Gon damped down a sudden inexplicable rush of anger. His hand caught the young man's jaw, as he lowered his face close to his lover's. "You can do this Obi-Wan," his voice came out as a broken whisper, "You can...and you will" He closed his eyes and leaned forward, until his forehead touched his Padawan's. "Please....Obi- Wan.... You must try......"

A small choked sob, and Obi-Wan's hand came up to touch his face gently; the prickly brush of bandages rough against his skin. "Don't....please...Qui-Gon-" the young man's voice broke a little on another harsh sob. Qui-Gon felt fresh tears, wet against his face, and didn't know if they were his or Obi-Wan's. He opened his eyes and met Obi-Wan's frantic gaze. The young man shook his head. "I won't give up. I promise...Qui-Gon please, don't...don't..." It took a moment for Qui-Gon to realise that he was weeping, and it was his tears which were causing his Padawan so much distress.

Stricken, Qui-Gon fought to contain his despair. Choking back his tears he gently touched his lips to Obi-Wan's; silencing the youth with a chaste kiss. Obi-Wan reached for him blindly - arms encircling his neck, fingers tangling in his hair. Qui-Gon scattered soft kisses across his Padawan's tear stained face; tasting the bitter sharp sting of fresh tears. //I'm sorry Obi-Wan...Ssh. I'm sorry my love....//. Eventually he felt Obi-Wan's distress fade a little, and he drew back; meeting Obi- Wan's concerned gaze with some semblance of calm - despite his seething emotions.

Obi-Wan's fingers were still entangled in his hair; unconsciously toying with the loose strands. Qui-Gon held his Padawan's gaze steadily, his voice was husky with unshed tears. "I will hold you to your promise, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan stared up at him, gray-green eyes suddenly wary. Qui-Gon sensed the young man's confusion through their link.

"You gave me your word. You will fight this."

Obi-Wan's eyes widened in sudden comprehension - he withdrew his hands from Qui-Gon's hair and tried to look away. Qui-Gon was quicker, catching his Padawan's chin he gently drew the youth back to face him. //Obi-Wan?// Qui-Gon knew he was being unfair, holding Obi-Wan to an oath expressed in anguish, but he forced himself not to falter beneath his Padawan's bleak gaze. The young man drew in a short, sharp breath. A moment's agonized hesitation, then a terse nod.

"Yes." Obi-Wan sounded unbearably weary. Qui-Gon released his hold, but this time Obi-Wan didn't try to turn away. The young man's expression was bitterly resigned. "Yes, you...you have my word."

Qui-Gon simply nodded, not trusting himself to speak; he was struggling hard to remain calm. Obi-Wan's apparent willingness to concede defeat so soon had shaken him badly. However now, as his alarm receded slightly, he recalled that depression was one of the side- effects of Mindus. The drug was crushing his Padawan's spirit. He berated himself bitterly for his 'weakness' in breaking down in front of Obi-Wan. He had thought he had his emotions under control....It seemed however his grief was simply too raw, too powerful to be contained. He should have known that his Obi-Wan would never 'give up' so easily.

Qui-Gon drew himself up slowly, kneeling beside Obi-Wan. The youth lay still and silent, eyes closed. Qui-Gon made to reach out and touch his Padawan, but stayed his hand before it reached the youth. He bit his lip, frustrated by his own sense of inadequacy. He let his hand hover a moment longer, before pulling it back.

"Obi-Wan?" Gray-green eyes fluttered open and gazed up at him dully. Qui-Gon swallowed hard. "How much did you take?"

Obi-Wan sighed, and rubbed a hand across his face wearily, "I...I'm not sure...." Qui-Gon felt his Padawan's distress spiral, as the youth struggled to remember. "More than one....Perhaps two....?" Obi- Wan shook his head, his voice rising in panic. "I don't remember...I can't remember....Why can't I remember?!" Haunted eyes stared at Qui-Gon beseechingly. "I can't...I can't...-"

"Ssh...It's alright Obi-Wan....It's alright...." This time Qui-Gon didn't hesitate to touch his Padawan; drawing Obi-Wan into his arms he rocked the young man gently, sending wordless comfort through their link.

"I'm tired...I'm just so tired...." Obi-Wan's voice was a weary, muffled whisper against his chest.

"I know, my love." he kissed the top of the young man's head and held his Padawan tighter, "I know...."

Obi-Wan twisted in his arms, and looked up at him. "It's going to get worse isn't it?"

Qui-Gon found himself unable to answer.

There was no need....Obi-Wan understood his silence. The young man lowered his head, and Qui-Gon struggled to suppress a sudden surge of panic, but Obi-Wan must have sensed it anyway. The young man looked back up, offering Qui-Gon a faint tired smile - one far too 'old' for such a face. "It's alright....I..I knew it would, " a soft sigh, then a hand touched his cheek. "Don't worry, I won't give up." The smile turned rueful. "I gave you my word...remember..."

Qui-Gon could no longer conceal his anguish. Instead he drew Obi- Wan close, and buried his face against the young man's neck. He felt Obi-Wan turn to face him, pulling an arm free to slide up around his shoulders. Qui-Gon accepted his Padawan's silent comfort, even as he struggled against it; angered by his own need. Finally he drew in a sharp breath and pulled back. Obi-Wan withdrew his arm, kneeling before Qui-Gon quietly.

"You..." Qui-Gon swallowed trying to speak past the lump in his throat. "You need to rest Obi-Wan." The youth allowed himself to be settled back against the blankets. Qui-Gon drew the covers back around his Padawan; all the while Obi-Wan watched him silently.

When he had finished the young man caught his hand and held it. Gray-green eyes dropped to the blanket edge,"Will...Will you...hold me?...." A small voice, tinged with uncertainty.

Qui-Gon didn't answer. Switching off the lamp, he lay down beside his Padawan, gently drawing the young man into his arms. Obi-Wan stiffened, then relaxed against him."I...I love you..."

The softly whispered words sliced into him. Oh Obi-Wan. My love... He closed his eyes, and drew in a ragged breath "I love you too...."


Chapter XXI

Qui-Gon awoke feeling cold, and no less weary. His sleep had been fitful - moments snatched between troubled dreams. Obi-Wan lay tucked up against his side, one arm stretched across his chest - bandaged fingers balled into a fist. Qui-Gon unfurled them gently - using the Force to check their progress - grateful that, despite the young man's weak state, the burns and cuts had healed well. Obi-Wan murmured softly, lifting his head a little. Qui-Gon released the hand and touched his fingers to the youth's brow, "Ssh...Sleep Obi-Wan." At his gentle, Force impelled suggestion, the young man made another soft sleepy sound, before snuggling back against him.

Qui-Gon remained awake, monitoring his sleeping love for any sign of distress. He could sense the edge of Obi-Wan's pain - dulled now to an almost bearable ache; however exhaustion and the Force, were all that kept it from dragging Obi-Wan back to consciousness. Even now Qui-Gon could feel it growing, as the Mindus fed upon his Padawan. He tried to use the Force to push it back - though he knew his efforts were in vain....the Mindus' malign presence could not be crushed so easily.

A small frown settled on Obi-Wan's smooth brow, and the young man shifted uneasily. //Ssh..It's alright Obi-Wan...//. His Padawan settled again....but only for a moment. A tiny whimper, then Obi-Wan began to twist in his arms. Gray-green eyes shot open - a wild stare and terrified understanding. Qui-Gon tightened his embrace, as he felt the first painful spasm wrack his Padawan's trembling body.

"No...please...no..."

The youth's desperate plea almost broke Qui-Gon. He fought down his despair, determined not to surrender to its desolate embrace. "I've got you Obi-Wan....Ssh...It's alright, I'm here...." He kept up a litany of soothing words, holding Obi-Wan close as the young man convulsed in his arms. All the while he cursed his own helplessness, though he knew there was nothing he could do to ease his Bond mate's torment.

With each painful spasm Qui-Gon held his breath, willing it to pass quickly. Obi-Wan clawed at him frantically, bloody froth appearing at the corners of the young man's mouth - as Obi-Wan gnawed his lips and tongue in an effort to contain his cries. "No...No...Obi-Wan don't...." Qui-Gon gripped his Padawan's jaw gently, forcing himself to meet Obi-Wan's agonized gaze. //Don't try to hold back.// The youth stared at him wildly, then arched up as another spasm struck. //Obi-Wan!//

A choked cry....then a half stifled scream...then another....and another...louder...and louder....

Qui-Gon sat, tears pouring down his face, as Obi-Wan screamed in agony.

It seemed an endless stretch of time, but finally the fit passed - the pain receding to a dull throbbing ache. Obi-Wan lay still in Qui-Gon's arms. Qui-Gon gently lowered the youth onto the blankets; using a little of the water to wash the blood and tears from his Padawan's face. He was frightened by how pale Obi-Wan looked - the young man's face was little more than a death mask - without a trace of life or colour.

"Obi-Wan?" The young man didn't respond. "Obi-Wan?" Gray-green eyes opened slowly, "Here Obi-Wan, drink a little of this." Gently he raised Obi-Wan up a little, lifting the water canister to the young man's lips. Obi-Wan grimaced as he swallowed, and after only two sips, pulled away - shaking his head.

"No...no more..."

Qui-Gon set down the canister, and then helped Obi-Wan lie back down. The youth felt brittle, his movements stiff and slow; each shallow breath brought forth a wince, as though even this simple act caused great pain. "How..how much...-" Obi-Wan broke off - wheezing for breath; waving aside the offer of more water. After a moment or two, the young man was able to continue. "How much...longer will....this last?-"

Qui-Gon steeled himself to provide an answer. Lifting the young man's hand onto his lap, he clasped it gently within his own. "Two...Maybe three days." He felt Obi-Wan's fingers twitch in response to his words. "It may be less Obi-Wan," he tried to keep the desperation from his voice. "It depends on how much Mindus was in the compound...."

Qui-Gon's voice trailed off, and for a long moment neither of them said anything. However a question burned at the back of Qui-Gon's mind. He had fought hard against it - but it had resisted all his attempts to push it away - "Why?" Qui-Gon only realised he had voiced it aloud when he felt Obi-Wan try to pull his hand free. He looked down at his Padawan, who refused to meet his gaze; but now that it had been said the 'question' refused to be silenced - bringing with it all the churning emotions he had tried to bury with it. "Why Obi-Wan?....Why would you do such a thing?" He shook his head in wordless disbelief, tightening his grip on the young man's hand. "Why would you even need a sleeping draft?"

"I...I..." Obi-Wan looked at him briefly, before dropping his eyes to their clasped hands. "I...I'm tired..." The young man again tried to tug his hand free. "Please..Qui-Gon..." Qui-Gon closed his heart to the tears in the young man's voice. He had to know this...he needed to know this...for his sake...and for Obi-Wan's. It wasn't just the Mindus that was poisoning Obi-Wan ; there was something 'else'....something which had driven his Padawan to this desperate, foolish act. "Tell me Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon caught the young man's other hand as it tried to twist away from him, gripping it tightly.

"I don't know!..."

"Obi-Wan!-"

"I don't..I..."

"Padawan answer me!"

"I was afraid!"

Stunned, Qui-Gon released his Padawan's hands.

The anger drained from Obi-Wan's voice as the youth added softly, "I...I just didn't know what else to do...."

Swallowing sharply, Qui-Gon forced himself to ask, "What were you afraid of Obi-Wan?"

"I...I..didn't want to remember...I didn't want to hurt you!" The young man's voice rose again in obvious anguish, as gray-green eyes turned on him, pleading silently for him to understand.

"Hurt me?!" Qui-Gon was unable to hide the bewildered confusion in his tone, "How?"

"By making you remember!" Obi-Wan was crying in earnest now, Qui-Gon could feel the young man's increasing distress through their link. Part of him wanted to stop...to take his Bond mate into his arms and give what comfort he could. He forced himself to hold back. Qui- Gon knew that this - this was the real reason for his Padawan's decline; this was the poison that had to be rooted out, so that Obi- Wan could find the strength to fight the Mindus. He needed to go on with this - he had no choice.

"Remember what Obi-Wan?" He reached for the young man's hands - they were icy cold. "Remember what?-"

"Naboo!....What...what happened...You...!-" Wild eyes stared at him, red-rimmed and tear-filled. The young man's voice dropped to a breathy whisper, each word forced out between broken sobs. "You...you died...-"

"No! Obi-Wan!" When Obi-Wan didn't respond, Qui-Gon released his Padawan's hands and caught hold of slender shoulders, shaking them gently. "Listen to me! Obi-Wan!" Dull eyes focused on him slowly. "I was wounded Obi-Wan...You know that!"

"Yes!" His Padawan's gaze sharpened bitterly, "But...but..." Obi-Wan paused, struggling to answer. "But..every time I see it - you die!" The young man's voice dropped to a pain-filled whisper. "You die..."

"Every time...?" Qui-Gon stared at his Padawan in confusion, the hopelessness in his Padawan's gaze burning into him.

"Every time I close my eyes....Every time I try to think...When I'm awake...When I'm asleep....I......I....." A soft broken sob, "I saw you die! I felt it!"

Qui-Gon felt his heart wrench at his Padawan's desperate words but he refrained from reaching for his Bond mate, though it tore at him to do so. He could sense that Obi-Wan wasn't telling him everything.

"What else Obi-Wan?" He was surprised at how calm his voice sounded to his own ears.

Obi-Wan seemed startled, "What....?-"

Qui-Gon kept his voice calm and soothing, "What else do you see? When you close your eyes?"

He felt Obi-Wan stiffen. Sliding his hands down the young man's arms he grasped the youth's wrists - Obi-Wan's pulse raced beneath his fingertips. Qui-Gon stroked his thumbs over his Padawan's cold skin offering wordless reassurance. For a seemingly endless moment Obi- Wan didn't answer; then the smallest of voices -

"Taogoa..." Qui-Gon felt an icy coldness claw at him. He willed himself to remain calm, but Obi-Wan must have detected his sudden tension, "It doesn't matter... Forget it....It..it's nothing........"

"Obi-Wan!-"

"No!" The young man lowered his voice to a desperate whisper. "No. It doesn't matter...It isn't important...."

"What isn't important?" Qui-Gon demanded, his voice rising. When Obi-Wan just shook his head, Qui-Gon tightened his grip. "Obi-Wan you must tell me!"

"I..I can't...!" Distraught the young man tried to twist away, tugging uselessly - struggling to free himself. "Please, Qui-Gon..I...I can't...."

"Obi-Wan-"

"No!" Obi-Wan looked at him beseechingly, "You don't need to know." Obi-Wan sounded as though he were trying to convince himself as much as Qui-Gon. "Please....."

Qui-Gon hesitated - Obi-Wan's skin had taken on a stark ashen hue, his breathing ragged and shallow. Did he really need to go on with this...?....Perhaps he should end it now.....?. Tentatively he reached out through their link, touching his mind to Obi-Wan's.

Overwrought, Obi-Wan was unwittingly projecting his emotions. Qui-Gon gathered them to him - shame, anger, fear......concern? Puzzled by the latter he probed a little further...and discovered....- the concern was for him. Obi-Wan was trying to protect him? Qui-Gon felt a rush of confusion...and guilt - Was he the cause of Obi-Wan's distress?

"It's not your duty to protect me Padawan," Qui-Gon tried and failed to keep the accusatory tone from his voice.

Obi-Wan stared at him wide-eyed, "But I'm.... I'm your Bond mate...."

"Yes...My Bond mate......Not my 'guardian'. We share what troubles us Obi-Wan-"

Obi-Wan responded with a harsh sound of disbelief, "You never share your troubles with me! You always tell me not to worry! Like...like I'm a child!"

"You're my Padawan!"

"I'm your Bond mate!"

They stared at each other, both breathing hard. The outburst had suffused Obi-Wan's face with indignant colour, eyes blazing green with frustration and anger. Qui-Gon gave a heavy sigh,

"You are right Obi-Wan...I ...I should not try to hide my concerns from you...." Obi-Wan stared at him, obviously not expecting his agreement. "I will try to keep you more inform-" No. That didn't sound right He started again, all the while aware of his Padawan's stricken expression. "I will try to share my feelings with you ....and ...and my worries." He met Obi-Wan's gaze squarely, "Is that what you wish?"

"I....Yes.."

"In return, I would ask that you show me the same consideration." He arched an eyebrow at his Padawan, "Agreed?" Obi-Wan had calmed a little, but at these words Qui-Gon felt another sharp spike of distress from the younger man. "Obi-Wan?-"

"Al..alright..."

Qui-Gon lowered his voice - to the same gentle, level tone he had once used to discover truths from a thirteen year old Obi-Wan. "What is it Obi-Wan? What - about Taogoa?"

Obi-Wan lowered his eyes, "I...I started to remember things..."

A flicker of pain crossed Qui-Gon's face before he could conceal it. He concentrated on his breathing...and the hands held within his own. "What 'things'?"

"Before...before you found me..." Obi-Wan fell silent, seemingly struggling to go on. Qui-Gon sent a wave of love and reassurance through their link. He felt the young man reach for him and he entwined the comforting tendrils around his Bond mate's mind. Obi-Wan relaxed minutely and continued, "There were voices...more than two...I think...I don't know how many...." The young man paused and looked up; Qui-Gon nodded for him to continue. "They...they took off my robe...my tunic...my boots....I tried...I tried..." The young man began to grow increasingly upset, "I did try..I did..."

"It's alright Obi-Wan. I know you tried-"

"No!" Obi-Wan looked away. "You...you don't understand..."

Qui-Gon closed his eyes, No...Oh please no...! "What Obi-Wan?" He opened his eyes again, "What don't I understand?"

"They..touched me." - small, haunted voice. "One...one of them put...." Obi-Wan drew in a deep jagged breath, "he put...he put his fingers inside me...." Gray-green eyes turned to Qui-Gon, bewildered and hurt. "How....how could I let them do that to me?!-" The young man's voice rose to an angry wail.

"No! No Obi-Wan!-"

But with a sudden burst of strength Obi-Wan pulled his hands free, and tried to scramble away. Qui-Gon shot forward and grasped the squirming youth, drawing his struggling Padawan into his arms. "Obi- Wan, you didn't let them do anything. You were drugged!" Obi-Wan made a half hysterical sound. "Please Obi-Wan....! -"

Obi-Wan fought him for a moment longer and then lay still. When the young man spoke his voice was tight with distress. "They..they said I would bring a good price..." Bitterness crept into the young man's tone. "Because I was unused...-"

Qui-Gon was helpless against the tide of grief and anger which swept over him at his Padawan's words. His mind tormented him with images - Obi-Wan, bound and drugged....Crying out for him.....Hands sliding over his Padawan's exposed, naked body....Touching ...Probing ... Hurting..... Tightening his hold upon the youth, he fought back the rage which threatened to consume him.

"Did...did they?-" Qui-Gon's voice broke.

"No!-" Obi-Wan shivered violently. "No....They didn't do anything else." Obi-Wan shook his head as though trying to clear his thoughts. "One...one of them tried to..to kiss me." Qui-Gon felt his Padawan's chest heave, as the young man sucked in a ragged breath. "There was a man...he...he...struck them. He said I...I wasn't to be spoiled" Obi-Wan practically spat out the last word, then fell silent. Qui-Gon held his Bond mate tightly, as they both struggled to regain some semblance of control.

It was Qui-Gon who broke the silence. "You should have told me." The quiet words held no reproof, only sorrow.

"I...I know..." Obi-Wan gave a little sigh, his voice soft and sad. "But I...I knew you didn't want me to remember."

Didn't 'want'...? Qui-Gon felt stunned by the admission. "What I want isn't important-"

"It is to me!" The young man's next words were muffled against Qui- Gon's chest. "I...I know you feel responsible for...for what happened to me." Obi-Wan lifted his head, gray-green eyes regarding Qui-Gon steadily, through tear-spiked lashes. "You're not, you know."

Qui-Gon sighed heavily, "Aren't I?"

"No!" There was a fierce desperation to his Padawan's reply.

"You're my Padawan!"

"And you're my Master!....But, as you told me once, you're also only a man...."

The young man's tearful gaze pleaded for Qui-Gon to accept the wisdom of his own words. Qui-Gon smiled wryly, "Whether I failed as your Master, or as a 'man' makes little difference Obi-Wan."

Frustration poured out of the younger man."But you didn't fail!"

It ignited Qui-Gon's own bitter self-recrimination,"You were upset! You needed me! I should never have let you go off like that!"

"And I should never have gone!" Obi-Wan paused to take a few deep rapid breaths; evidently exhausted by his emotional outburst. "I...I don't blame you," another harsh gasped breath, "Why...why must you blame yourself?"

"Because...because..." Qui-Gon found himself at a loss to provide an answer.

Obi-Wan took advantage of his floundering. The Pawadan's voice was small and tight,"Do you blame me too?"

"No!" Qui-Gon was staggered by the question; horrified that his Padawan would even consider such a thing. "Never! Never!" He reached out and took Obi-Wan's face in his hands, brushing his thumbs over cheeks wet with tears. "W h a t h a p p e n e d t o y o u w a s n o t y o u r f a u l t!"

Obi-Wan stared at him sadly, "No...no perhaps not-"

"No! There is no perhaps about it Obi-Wan! You are not to blame!"

Obi-Wan seemed to consider the validity of his words, eventually shrugging in reluctant acquiescence. "Alright I'm..." the youth drew in a deep breath, "I'm not to blame."

Qui-Gon nodded, relieved.

Grey-green eyes narrowed shrewdly "But then, neither are you...."

Qui-Gon understood the point his Padawan was trying to make. They could both go on forever blaming themselves for lack of thought and foresight. However it was hard to let go of the guilt, even when he knew it served no purpose.

Ever since Naboo they seemed to have been caught in a desperate cycle; as though the Sith Lord had tainted them in some way - marking them out for sorrow and suffering . Their happiness was mired in pain and anguish; they had to break loose, or they would never be free of this.....

"Alright," he spoke slowly; struggling to accept the truth of his own words. "I...I am not to blame."

Obi-Wan regarded him suspiciously. Qui-Gon opened himself up to his Padawan, letting the youth touch his mind - despair, sorrow, grief....and guilt - the latter slowly fading, as Qui-Gon forced himself to relinquish it. Obi-Wan's mind whispered against his, a delicate soothing balm to his suffering. He tried to return the mental embrace - and felt the young man shy away. Qui-Gon waited, patiently, and slowly Obi-Wan responded to his touch. Cautiously Qui-Gon reached out into his Padawan's mind - pain, fear, anguish....guilt and sorrow. He let the comforting tendrils of his presence brush against his Padawan's grief - wearing away the harsh edges, crumbling the guilt to nothingness..........

Eventually they withdrew - feeling strangely both drained and strengthened by the experience.

Qui-Gon met his Padawan's tear-bright eyes with his own, //I love you, Obi-Wan. Nothing ever can...or ever will, change that. //. He repeated his promise without words - kissing Obi-Wan with tender thoroughness. He felt Obi-Wan's own, silent avowal through their link.

Qui-Gon broke the kiss reluctantly, gently drawing his thumb across his Padawan's bottom lip, "Now, you must rest."

Guiding Obi-Wan back down onto the blankets, he noticed the young man's flushed cheeks with a sharp twinge of alarm. Quickly masking his concern, Qui-Gon let his fingers tarry against his Padawan's skin - feeling the first stirrings of fever. Obi-Wan looked at him quizzically and he forced out a reassuring smile, "Rest" Qui-Gon moved his hand away, "I'm going to check on the water unit." He turned to leave, then paused, glancing back anxiously, "You'll be alright alone?"

The look Obi-Wan gave him was part amused, part exasperated. "I'll be fine."

Qui-Gon still hesitated - the Bond they shared protesting even this, brief separation. He darted back and placed a quick kiss against Obi- Wan's warm forehead. "I won't be long." Then, before he could change his mind, he ducked out of the shelter.


Chapter XXII - Obi-Wan

Alone, Obi-Wan allowed his self-control to slip a little - touching the panic that still lay close to the surface. The pain was growing, he could feel it - a dull burning ache deep in the pit of his stomach. Soon the first fiery tendrils would blossom outwards; blazing through his body with ruthless momentum.

In his mind he replayed the past few moments, over and over. He couldn't quite believe that - after all he had done to conceal the truth - he had just blurted it out. Yet he also felt an odd kind of relief. It had felt 'wrong' to hide his pain from Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan suppressed a bubble of hysteria - was this why criminals sought to unburden themselves?... Why 'sinners' sought confession....For this 'curious' sense of release?

Obi-Wan shifted restlessly, turning his face toward the cool air blowing underneath the shelter's canvas door. It provided some relief; though not enough to ease the hot prickling sensation that crawled across his skin. He threw the blankets aside, but felt little better. Too weak to sit up, he tugged at his tunic, trying to draw it away from his skin......Hot...he felt so hot....

He wished Qui-Gon would come back, but his pride warred against calling out for his Master. A short spike of pain shot through him - cramping his stomach, bringing with it a wave of intense nausea. This felt...different....Did it mean he was getting better?...Or worse?

Obi-Wan ran his tongue over parched lips. Even his eyes felt dry and sore - as though his tears had robbed them of their moisture. Hot...so hot... His gaze fell on the water canister - propped up against the shelter's canvas wall - just out of reach.

He tried to sit up, but sank back with a dull moan; fresh rivulets of pain dancing down his spine. Turning onto his side, Obi-Wan drew in a deep breath, releasing it slowly. Closing his eyes he concentrated on his breathing, letting it lull him into a trance-like calm.

Tentatively, he called out to the Force, fearful of rejection.

At first there was nothing, just a cold empty silence; he choked back his despair and tried again......The canister shuddered slightly.

Obi-Wan's eyes shot open - The Force!....He felt the Force!

Almost overcome with relief, he reached out again....The canister twitched almost imperceptibly. Stretching out his hand - his face contorted with effort - Obi-Wan willed the canister to him. It shook violently, toppling sideways, rolling a little way across the ground toward him. He almost had it. He reached out again....and gasped - as a shard of pure white agony speared his chest. For an agonizing moment he couldn't move...couldn't breathe. Spots danced at the edge of his vision. Incredibly the pain intensified, crushing bands tightening around his torso, driving the air from his lungs.

//Mas..master!//

"Ssh. I'm here Obi-Wan, I'm here."

Obi-Wan reached up blindly, and found his fingers clasped within his Master's strong sure grip. //Breathe....can't....//

The hold on his hand tightened. //You must fight it Obi-Wan!//

//Ca..can't...h..hurts...// He felt sick and dizzy; a cold darkness beckoned, promising an end to the pain.

//Breathe Padawan!//

Qui-Gon's distress wrenched Obi-Wan away from the shadows. Battling against the shards of agony which ripped through him; Obi- Wan sucked in a shuddering breath, Oh Gods it hurt!....It hurt! Obi-Wan bit down hard upon his tongue; until the bitter, metallic tang of blood filled his mouth. He would not cry out...He would not! He arched up as a violent spasm struck, burning through his body, stripping him of his resolve; a short sharp cry escaped him. He clamped down on the next, and only a stifled sob escaped - dragged out between clenched teeth.

Qui-Gon's face drifted into view, hovering anxiously above his own. The older man's features were tired and drawn. Obi-Wan could sense the fear in his Bond mate. He choked back another cry as a fresh burst of pain shot through his body,

"Am I dying?" Obi-Wan was unaware he had voiced the question aloud - until he saw Qui-Gon's eyes widen in anguish.

"No!"

Long cool fingers stroked his forehead, soothing against his hot skin. "No my love. You're not dying."

Obi-Wan could hear the strain of grief in his Master's voice. Looking up into dark blue eyes he saw the too familiar pain there. Qui-Gon looked exhausted, older than his years. With a sudden surge of insight Obi-Wan realised Qui-Gon was using their Bond link to draw off some of his pain.

Terrified at the thought of how much worse it could be - unsure he could bear it - Obi-Wan struggled to raise his shields.

Qui-Gon detected his attempt at once, "No! Obi-Wan!" Strong hands cupped his face, forcing him to meet Qui-Gon's frantic gaze. "No my love! You cannot do this alone!"

Obi-Wan tried to speak, but the words stuck in his throat. //I'm hurting you!// He flinched when it came out as a childish wail.

"Oh, my love...." Qui-Gon stroked his cheek softly, and Obi-Wan closed his eyes, absorbing his lover's touch. // My love.//

Obi-Wan ran his tongue over dry lips, and tasted salt - Was he crying? Opening his eyes slowly, Obi-Wan looked up into his Master's face....and realised that the tears were not his own.

Weakly, Obi-Wan raised his hand. Touching his fingertips to Qui- Gon's damp cheek, Obi-Wan drew the moisture to his own sore, cracked lips - tasting stinging salt and a lover's bitter grief. Qui-Gon's long fingers encircled his own, pulling his hand gently away. When it was released, panic flared,

//Don't leave me!// Obi-Wan no longer cared how needy he sounded

"Ssh...ssh..." The hand came back, this time stroking over his feverish skin. Obi-Wan whimpered softly, leaning into the light touch. He felt Qui-Gon shift to settle down beside him; carefully drawing his hot tortured flesh into a loose, comforting embrace. //I'm here Obi-Wan. I won't leave you. I'm here.//

The shadows were calling him again. Obi-Wan struggled briefly, afraid to sink into nothingness; but weak and drained he finally surrendered. The comforting tendrils of the Force rose up to catch him as he fell; cocooning around him as he escaped into oblivion.


Chapter XXIII

Qui-Gon felt the tension leave his Padawan's body as unconsciousness lay claim to the youth. This time he made no attempt to draw Obi- Wan back from its summons - welcoming the relief it brought his Bond mate. The Mindus' hold over Obi-Wan was fading, enabling Qui-Gon to extend a field of Force energy around his young love - ensuring Obi-Wan didn't slip too far back into the shadows.

Though drained from his efforts to block Obi-Wan's pain, Qui-Gon pushed past his weariness to begin healing some of the damage caused by the Mindus. He was concerned by the heat he could feel pouring off Obi-Wan - as his Padawan's body purged itself of the last, lingering traces of the poison.

Carefully, Qui-Gon disentangled himself from Obi-Wan's motionless form. Gathering up one of the water canisters - dropped in his haste to reach his Bond mate - Qui-Gon tore a strip off one of the discarded blankets, and poured the water over it. Tenderly he used the soaked rag to sponge his Padawan's flushed face. Drawing it across the young man's throat, Qui-Gon squeezed the cloth a little - inviting rivulets of cool water to trickle down Obi-Wan's torso. The young man gave no indication that he was aware of Qui-Gon administrations.

Touching his fingertips to Obi-Wan's fevered flesh, Qui-Gon unwillingly dredged up a memory from Taogoa - the image of his Padawan convulsing in the throes of a fever induced fit. Setting aside the wet rag, Qui-Gon hastened to strip Obi-Wan of the remainder of his clothing. His breath caught as he beheld his Padawan's nude form; ill-prepared, despite everything, for just how sick the young man looked.

Pale skin slick with sweat, chest rising and falling jerkily with each raggedly drawn breath; Obi-Wan seemed terrifyingly fragile. Spare flesh worn away - leaving only slender muscle.

Qui-Gon let a shaking hand smooth across his Padawan's flat belly, grazing along too-prominent ribs to rest over Obi-Wan's heart. He could feel it's frantic pulse, beating unsteadily against his fingers. Qui- Gon froze, momentarily 'hypnotized' by this tremulous link to his Bond mate.

Obi-Wan moaned, moving restlessly beneath his hand; pulling away sharply Qui-Gon retrieved the wet cloth. Soaking it with a little more of the water, he began to bathe his Padawan. The young man whimpered as the cold cloth touched his skin, trying to twist away. Qui-Gon reached out with the Force, wrapping comforting strands around Obi-Wan's body; whispering wordless reassurances through their link.

Time passed. An endless agony of waiting, and still Obi-Wan's fever showed no sign of breaking.

The young man was no longer unconscious; twisting and turning his delirious ravings lashed into Qui-Gon like hooked barbs. Bewildered confusion, angry accusations - the hidden pain of a troubled youth.

Long buried insecurities resurfaced. Pinned by his Padawan's bleak gaze, Qui-Gon struggled not to flinch from glassy grey-green eyes.

"You...you don't want me!"

Startled, Qui-Gon stumbled over his denial, "No..no that's not true-"

"NO!" Bitter despair filled Obi-Wan's voice. "Y o u d i d n' t w a n t

m e!"

Qui-Gon shook his head, distraught. "Obi-Wan you know that's not true."

At these words all the anger seemed to drain out of Obi-Wan. The young man's voice dropped to a low, hoarse whisper. "I..I tried....I tried so hard....I wanted to be your Padawan....but you...you didn't want me...."

Closing his eyes, Qui-Gon felt his chest tighten with sudden comprehension. //Oh my love...// Silently he cursed the man he had been....The man who had repeatedly turned away a twelve year old Obi-Wan .......

He re-opened his eyes. "Obi-Wan please..I..." Drawing in a deep breath Qui-Gon struggled to make Obi-Wan understand. "It..it wasn't you. After Xanatos I didn't want anyone."

Obi-Wan stared at him blankly.

Qui-Gon lent forward, cupping Obi-Wan's flushed face between his hands, he held the young man's gaze. Then slowly, determinedly he began to open himself up to his Bond mate. Guiding Obi-Wan past the barriers which had guarded his memories of Xanatos for so long. Letting the young man feel all the emotions and turmoil tied up with that time - the disbelief, disappointment, anger, fear, shame, and grief. The feelings of failure and unworthiness which had haunted him in his darkest moments - until Master Yoda had helped to clear them from his mind....But still, traces of them lingered, a distant echo of a painful past.

He laid himself bare before his Padawan; awaiting judgement, and - he hoped - understanding.

Qui-Gon was afraid Obi-Wan would be unable to respond, to sense his offering; but, as he continued, he felt the first stirring of awareness from his Bond mate.

Gratefully he reached for the youth through their link, and found himself bathed by love and compassion, as Obi-Wan struggled back from his fevered dreams to comfort Qui-Gon.

The unfocused glaze gradually faded from Obi-Wan's eyes, and the young man smiled, a little wearily. "Q..Qui-Gon?......"

His own eyes bright with unshed tears, Qui-Gon stroked his finger across his young love's parched lips.

"Ssh. It's alright Obi-Wan rest now." He used the Force to gently nudge his Padawan into sleep.

Obi-Wan smiled again, this time in sleepy acceptance. //Hmm...alright...//

When the young man's eyes drifted shut Qui-Gon lowered his hands, sitting back with a choked sob. Exhausted and overcome, he wept with relief, offering his tears to the Force.


Chapter XXIV - Obi-Wan

It was cold....cold and dark, but sounds were slowly penetrating the silence as Obi-Wan emerged from the muted shadows of sleep. His own harsh breathing - ragged, painful. The whispery rasping of the wind, throwing grains of sand against the shelter. The....flap....flap...of the canvas door - like the beating wings of a trapped bird.

The hazy memory of a passing dream called out to him - splintered images already scattered and fading; but even as he pulled away, a 'voice' clung to the tangled threads of consciousness.

...What will you give?...

A stranger's slick tones - and a stranger's disturbing touch. Cold fingers caressing his cheek, trailing down his throat; toying with the folds of his tunic.....

...What will you give to keep him safe?....

Persistent fingers playing across his warm skin, sliding lower; drawing down his chest - nails scratching over a taut nipple......

Nooo!

With a gasp Obi-Wan jerked awake. He sat, gulping air; trying to quiet the frantic pounding of his heart. A dream...It was just a dream Shivering, he struggled to break free of its cloying embrace - the lingering memory of cold fingers and a cruel voice. However he was unable to dispel the unsettling sensation that it had been much more than 'just a dream'.

Ignoring the protests of stiff, aching limbs Obi-Wan reached for his tunic. His connection to the Force was still tenuous, but the Bond link was undiminished - and he could sense Qui-Gon close by. As he dressed Obi-Wan felt a flutter of uncertainty; Qui-Gon must know that he was awake - why then was the older man silent?

Hesitantly, Obi-Wan reached out along their link - and panic slammed into him as he was gently, but firmly rebuffed by Qui-Gon's mental shields.

//Ma..Master?// His bewildered query received a terse reply,

//Stay in the shelter Obi-Wan.//

//But...?//

//Please, Obi-Wan. Just do as I ask.//

Obi-Wan felt the sick sensation in his stomach tighten into a cold hard knot. Shakily he crawled toward the shelter door, drawing the canvas flap aside he peered out - but saw only black sand and bleak grey skies. Closing his eyes he tried to use the Force....he could sense a disturbance, shadows rippling the calm.....but nothing else.

Frustrated Obi-Wan re-opened his eyes; quickly glancing around the shelter he discovered his boots half-hidden beneath his robe. Reaching for them he swayed - almost falling forwards - as a wave of dizziness washed over him. Biting his lip he waited until the nausea passed before struggling on with his boots.

Still feeling light-headed and dizzy, Obi-Wan scrambled back to the doorway; however he hesitated - recalling his Master's instructions.

//Qui-Gon?//

//Stay there Obi-Wan!//

Obi-Wan frowned. Sometimes his Master knew him a little too well. He decided to try a different approach. //Is something wrong Master?// The ensuing pause only fed his growing unease.

//It's....There is a ship.// Qui-Gon's tone betrayed neither excitement or relief at the possibility of rescue. Obi-Wan was immediately wary,

//Republic?//

//I..I don't think so.//

The slight stumble sent all of Obi-Wan's senses onto full alert; ignoring Qui-Gon's order to remain inside the shelter he scrambled out.

The cold wind bit into him; he blinked, eyes watering furiously - blurring his vision. Using the Bond link as a guide he turned and made his way unhesitatingly toward Qui-Gon.

Obi-Wan's legs felt stiff and awkward as he crossed the sand; his tread clumsy and heavy-footed. Muscles unused to movement cried out in protest - a steady ache building up through bone and sinew. He no longer felt cold; hot sweat trickled down his neck. Closing his mind to the discomfort Obi-Wan pushed himself forward.

He moved around the ship and clawed his way up the sand bank - his hands and feet slipping and sliding in the gritty silt. Staying low, he wiped his fingers across his eyes, and looked out across the lava desert.

A strange cylindrical ship was hovering steadily above the razor edged rocks. It's engines were virtually silent; scarcely blowing up any of the fine grey ash which coated the landscape. A small number of heavily suited individuals were making their way cautiously across the uneven tundra; their faces concealed behind darkened visors. Obi-Wan could clearly see Qui-Gon - pressed against a raised slab of lava - directly in their path.

Obi-Wan's fingers instinctively reached for the handle of his lightsaber - and panic surged through him - it was still inside the shelter.

Torn between a desire to retrieve it, and his reluctance to leave Qui- Gon, Obi-Wan hesitated. Suddenly his gaze sharpened - just behind his Master - the air...it seemed to be....shimmering?

//Master!// Even as he cried out a warning, Qui-Gon seemed to sense the danger; turning - drawing his lightsaber - just as a creature appeared from nowhere. Weapon already brought to bear it fired faster than Qui-Gon could move, and Obi-Wan watched - horrified, as his Bond mate crumpled to the ground.

Choking back a scream, Obi-Wan started forward - visible for a moment above the sandbank. Every fibre of his being called for him to rush to his Master's side....only years of Jedi training held him back. With a stifled sob he sank back down. He sat frozen, his exhausted mind unable to think. Then, mouth set - determined, he slid back down the bank...back toward the shelter....to retrieve his lightsaber.

Running across the sand Obi-Wan suddenly felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end....Panicked, he glanced around him wildly - there was nothing. Angrily dismissing his own hysterics he turned back toward the shelter - and the air before him shimmered like a desert haze. With a stab of alarm he stepped back, away from the creature materialising in front of him. He had no time to take in its appearance - his eyes focused on the weapon in its hands. There was no sound, no heat, just a bright white flare....and then he was tumbling into darkness.


Chapter XXV

The creature carried Obi-Wan across the black sands towards his companions, dropping the youth beside Qui-Gon's still form. One of the suited figures hurriedly stepped forward; kneeling by the Jedi it held a medi-scanner over them.

"These are the two life forms we detected. They're alive." The voice was flat and metallic - artificially forced out through the visor's transmitter.

One of them nodded decisively. "Good. Collar them and get them on board." It turned around to face the others. "Breshaa, you help him. The rest of you come with me."

As Breshaa and the kneeling figure hastened to comply, the rest moved off toward the ship.

A short while later, having scavenged all they wanted from the Jedi's crippled vessel - the shuttle craft took off. Climbing quickly through the swirling gray clouds it sped toward another, much larger ship - The Black Narcissus.


Chapter XXVI - Obi-Wan

A sharp spike of pain had embedded itself in the back of Obi-Wan's skull; making even minimal movement unbearable. He decided to lay perfectly still and try to get his bearings. The soft muted rumblings, and faint tremors were familiar to one accustomed to space flight. So...he was on board a ship. Now other questions surfaced. Such as - who's ship was it? and how did he get here?

His memory felt strangely blurred....He remembered waking up in the shelter...getting dressed....going outside....and.....Qui-Gon!

Obi-Wan shot upright, ignoring the flare of agony which ripped down his spine.

"Aah, so my new pet has woken up. I would suggest you not move around so quickly little one...The pain will fade in time."

At the sound of the voice Obi-Wan turned, his eyes slowly focusing on the figure sprawled indolently across a large chair in a corner of the cabin.

The owner of the voice was male, humanoid and might once have been handsome. Even now, despite the large scar bisecting his face - turning one eye milky white - he possessed a certain roguish presence.

Obi-Wan pressed a hand to his head and winced, "Who...Who are you?"

The man laughed, "Who am I?" Standing he crossed the room and seated himself beside Obi-Wan - who had realised with a faint qualm that he was sat upon a large bed. "I am Rigel." He reached out to touch Obi-Wan's cheek, smiling patiently when the young man flinched away. "However you will address me as Sire."

"Wh..what?-" Obi-Wan fought back a wince as Rigel's fingers gripped his jaw painfully. The older man lowered his face close to Obi-Wan's; his voice a harsh whisper,

"What...Sire."

Biting back a reply, Obi-Wan struggled to control the rising tide of emotions churning within him - fear and anger warred for dominance. With effort he fought back his anger....but the fear was for Qui-Gon, and it refused to be silenced.

Rigel seemed to have regained control of his own temper. The fingers holding Obi-Wan's jaw relaxed, and began to stroke the bruised flesh. Obi-Wan barely suppressed a shudder; but the older man either didn't notice his revulsion - or was indifferent to it.

"You are concerned for your companion?"

Obi-Wan tried to school his features into bland neutrality.

"Don't be. He doesn't miss you." Obi-Wan was unable to hide the concern in his eyes. Rigel shrugged. "An unfortunate side effect of our stun device. Sometimes an individual has his memory wiped." Obi- Wan knew he had failed to keep the horror from his face when Rigel's eyes glittered maliciously. "It might come back.....If he lives long enough."

Obi-Wan looked away. It...it couldn't be true...It couldn't...... //Qui-Gon.....Master!//

"He means so much to you?" Still stunned, Obi-Wan failed to catch the jealous tinge to Rigel's question. "Is he your father?" Rigel stroked his fingers down Obi-Wan's throat. "Hmm no, I think not." Regarding Obi-Wan thoughtfully he continued to speculate. "Just a friend then?" A cold, pale blue eye took on a sudden hard gleam. "Or perhaps...a lover?"

Obi-Wan sat like stone.

"No matter," Rigel's tone was dismissive; his fingers strayed to the folds of Obi-Wan's tunic. "Though I wonder....What would you give to keep him safe?"

Even Rigel seemed a little taken aback by Obi-Wan reaction - the youth started wildly, a panicked look upon his face. However, as the young man tried to pull away, Rigel caught both his arms and held him fast.

"Such spirit!" Tightening his hold Rigel grinned savagely. "It will be a true challenge to tame you little one!"

Obi-Wan summoned enough strength to twist free. "That will never happen!" He snarled the words between bared teeth.

"Ah my little cat has claws." Rigel stood up, amused by Obi-Wan's defiance. "Still, we shall see little one...We shall see."


To be continued...
(In the fourth story in this series - 'Lost')

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