Archive: SWA-L
Category: Drama, A/U, set after ROTJ.
Disclaimer: George owns Star Wars. I don't own much of anything, but
I do own this story.
Notes: Luke doesn't get any actual nookie, but he gets
some nice lovin' affection from his pal Wedge. The next story in this
universe will be from Luke's POV rather than Vader's, so that will help
with the nookie. Have fun.
Pairing: An/Am, Lu/W
Rating: PG
Series: Sequel to "Standing Between the Darkness and the
Light."
Spoilers: Some TPM spoilers.
Summary: Anakin learns a lesson he should have learned a long
time ago.
Anakin and Luke stepped into the lighted hut--and no one seemed to notice. Luke moved into the crowd, greeting his friends, but Anakin stepped off to the side and just watched. He wondered, briefly, if he would ever grow tired of watching Luke. He had missed so much--too much--of his son's life. And now Luke was a grown man, a soldier and a Jedi, with his own path to walk. Anakin would watch while he could, and learn to be satisfied.
Luke was talking to Captain Solo. Luke? Can you hear me?
Yes, Father. You want to hear this?
Yes. The Force flowed, focused--and he could hear them.
"Han, please--"
"She's really upset. She says you're here with Vader."
"He's not Vader. Not anymore."
"Not anymore? Kid--"
"He's my father, Han. And her father. You can see why she's upset. Two Alliance heros, his children? She doesn't know him as I do. And she's only had a day to adjust to this. I've known for a long time."
Han made a wordless sound of disbelief, but recovered quickly. "And you never told me?"
"When did I have time to tell you?"
"That son of a bitch put me in carbon-freeze--"
"So that he could get to me, Han. If you must blame someone, blame the Emperor. Vader would never have looked for me on his own--he knew about me, had known about me since Yavin--and never told the Emperor. He even tried to betray him on Bespin. Han--please don't do this. He says he'll stand trial. Just let it be."
"Kid, I can't."
Luke's voice became softer, more intense. Anakin could feel the Force within his son, flowing and focused. "Han, you have to trust me."
The Corellian frowned. "I do, Luke. I just...hell. Fine. For now."
My son, was that necessary?
What did you want? I wasn't going to force him to accept you. But a little nudge to remind him that he trusts my judgement--
I--perhaps I have been too long with the Dark Side, my son, but even such a simple trick worries me.
Don't let it. You will know, Father, what is Dark and what is not, when you are at peace. Let the Force guide you.
Ah, my son, you will be a good master. You have Master Yoda's touch, and already you are a leader of men.
I am my father's son in that, at least.
Take care that you are not your father's son in ways you do not intend.
Father, the Jedi will never be what they once were. You and I will build something else. We are the last of the Jedi, you and I--and neither of us had a precisely normal training. Those we train...will be a new kind of Jedi.
Luke--
Father, I have foreseen it.
Anakin closed his eyes and let the Force speak to him. When he opened them again, he saw Luke standing nearby with a young pilot, their foreheads touching, their bodies close. "I told you I'd be fine," the pilot said, and Anakin recognized the voice and the cadence: Wedge Antilles, whose Corellian accent blended subtly with the Alderaanean of his ancestry. "I'm always fine. Just lucky."
"No such thing as luck, Wedge. Just good flying on your part."
"I had something to come back to."
Luke reached up and clasped the back of the other man's neck. "I know."
Watching, Anakin remembered a time when Amidala held the back of his neck like that, when she gently, affectionately shook him, her body so tiny against his. He remembered Qui-Gon touching him, his huge hands warm and fatherly; Obi-Wan's hands over his, teaching him to hold a lightsaber; his mother's hands, holding him close. The simple feel of a hand against skin, intimate and infinitely comforting, was something he'd missed.
Something Vader had craved intensely and been denied; something that Anakin, living inside the Sith Lord, had used to his advantage.
If you turn back, Vader, Luke will touch you.
If you turn back.
If you save him.
If you love him.
And Luke had, his hands firm and gentle by turns; his casual closeness; the brush of a leg or a hand as he moved by.
Anakin suddenly, desperately wished Amidala were still alive, that she were with him, her body warm against his. He tried to calm himself, to stop the desperate hunger for contact from overwhelming him. He shuddered and closed his eyes.
"Father." Luke's hand was on his arm, the fingers pressing into the muscle. "Father!"
"My son?" Anakin opened his eyes slowly, afraid that he was sleeping, that he would wake and be Darth Vader again.
Luke was in front of him, holding tightly to his arm, and Wedge hovered several feet back, confusion and surprise radiating from him, ripples in the Force.
"Father," Luke said, softly, "you're here. I promise you."
Anakin felt Obi-Wan's presence, heard his old master say "Padawan" in a voice shot through with power.
"I'll be fine, Luke," he told his son. "Go. Take your pilot friend to bed. I'll see you at the shuttle in the morning."
Luke glanced over his father's shoulder, and Anakin knew Obi-Wan was there, felt his master's hand warm and living on his back. "You'll take care of him, Ben?"
"Of course, Luke."
The boy nodded and moved away to wrap an arm around Wedge and lead him outside.
Anakin looked after them for long moment before speaking. "I miss Amidala. Vader never did, but I do. As though I just lost her."
"I know," said Obi-Wan. "She loved you very much."
"That didn't stop me from betraying her. And you. And the Jedi."
"You fulfilled your destiny, Anakin. You did what you were born to do."
Anakin could not stop the shiver that ran through him. "Then why am I still here, Obi-Wan? What more is there for me to do?"
"Your future has always been hard to see, Anakin. Even Yoda never saw it clearly. We will have to wait and find out."
"I was never good at waiting."
He heard Luke's laugh from outside, saw his son on the bridge, his hands on Wedge's hips, holding him close. The Corellian cursed softly and bent his head to nip at Luke's ear.
Anakin leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. He would learn to wait, as long as it was Luke he was waiting for.
Luke would teach him what Obi-Wan never could.
How to have patience.
How not to look back.
How to walk out of the darkness and still acknowledge it, make it a part of you, beloved and trusted.
For Luke, he would wait.