Archive: yes to M&A, SWAL. others please ask
Archive Date: March 27, 2000
Category: BDSM, AU, Angst
Disclaimer: These guys may belong to George Lucas, but if he kept them busy
enough they would not come sit on my couch, drink my beer, eat my pretzels
and tell me stories that would curl my hair if I believed any of them at
all. Better start the second movie quick, George - Obi-Wan, especially, has
just too much time on his hands...
Feedback: Oh, please, yes!
Notes: to Lilith, whom we wrote this for when our fic-goddess
demanded a sacrifice. So we gave her one *G*.
Pairing: Q/O
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Qui-Gon finds an entry in Obi-Wan's erotic diary a bit disturbing.
Warnings: fantasy rape (partner!), heavy angst, dark stuff
From the diary of Master Qui-Gon Jinn:
Obi-Wan my love, I think you've managed something that hasn't been possible since, oh, before you were born. You've managed to shock me.
As a Jedi, I am no ignorant fool wandering through the universe doing good deeds and righting wrongs. I am a man, doing a bastard job the best he can at the direction of a bunch of straight-laced, cast-iron dunderheads who are political tools for an organization that is, at best, bloated and whimsical.
I have seen it all. And a great deal of it was not pretty.
Its not like I didn't know this kind of thing existed - its nothing new for humans to desire, even need to be hurt in order to experience pleasure. And it's not the fact that it's you having this fantasy - I know it's a common thing for people to have sexual fantasies that are quite far from the range of what they would normally want to actually occur.
Its not even that you clearly describe Me as your attacker. Though the notion that you think me capable of such an act as you narrate so vividly doesn't exactly inspire confidence in your view of my teaching for the past few years, but I know, I know - it's a fantasy, a game, nothing more. Humans have been playing sex games since shortly before they came down out of the trees - so no points for originality there.
No - I think the thing that bothers me so badly is just how much it makes me want to do just what you describe, exactly as you have written it; with loving attention to detail and lingering over every moment, savoring each plea, curse, and moan as a precious jewel to be stored in some theft-proof containment.
I note that you did not follow your usual style in this one, however - the tale is written with a rather detached point of view, almost as if you had somehow managed to uncouple yourself from your own body and become your own voyeur, while still knowing everything that Obi-Wan Kenobi was feeling and thinking. Detachment can be a good thing, when you are trying to deal with overwhelming events and ideas - and perhaps that is the lesson I should take from this little fantasy of yours.
Psychologically, this omniscient point of view tells me that you couldn't handle this if it really happened. And the way you chose to end this little fairy tale is most disturbing - it might not be the worst idea I've ever had to send you to see Master Pendralion for some serious counseling. But doing that would reveal my snooping in your private recordings in a way I don't think I am yet prepared to do just yet. So I think I will just have to wait and watch, in that patient, serene way a Jedi Master is supposed to. Though I must say the idea you have planted in my head today makes me feel neither patient nor serene.
You don't really want me to do this to you.
Do you?
From the diary of Obi-Wan Kenobi:
Obi-Wan Kenobi knew he had a problem.
After all, it wasn't everyday you found yourself lying face-down on a blanket in a deserted woods, bound spread-eagled to pegs driven into the ground, stark naked, with a total stranger watching you like a starving man about to pounce on his next meal.
The stranger was dressed head to toe in virginal white, even to the shine on his white leather boots. Obi-Wan had caught sight of a flowing robe and a sash belt before he had been thrown down and tied - now, turning his face to the side and peeking at his captor, he could see a skin-tight vest and leggings, all in that same dazzling white.
The man himself was an older man, very tall, long brown hair laced with gray, a long, bearded face, a nose that had been broken somewhere along the way. Deep blue eyes gazed from under a heavy brow, and a secretive smile graced a thin, firm mouth as he contemplated his prize.
Obi-Wan could not ignore the only motion that the man was making - he was stroking his huge and all-too-apparent erection through the thin fabric of his leggings, slowly, meditatively, as if pondering what he should do to relieve his problem. Shuddering inwardly, the young man had a sudden frightening insight as to what was to come next. He shoved the thought aside - fear would not help him here.
He closed his eyes and concentrated, trying to reach out to the Force, remove the heavy bindings from his hands, call his lightsaber to his grasp. But the Force did not respond - it was as if a wall stood between him and anything that might aid his escape. As he found no aid, he heard the man standing over him laugh raucously.
"Yes! Try the Force, my little Jedi, yes! Oh, my yes - it can solve all of your problems - untie you, defend you, overwhelm me, yes!" He continued, chuckling. "Oh, my dear little Jedi, you have much to learn before that little trick will work on me. On the other hand, I wonder what I might be able to teach you, now that I have your undivided attention?"
Obi-Wan felt a faint touch on his back, almost as if a breeze had blown by - but no breeze would concentrate itself down his spine to its base. A Force-touch then, so light as to almost be non-existent, wafting its way down his back and then over his exposed bottom. Just a touch, the merest whisper of a stroke, over the globes of his ass - and then into the cleft between them, ending with a tickle in that most sensitive of spots. He gasped and tried to wriggle away from the touch, feeling a shiver run through his body in foreboding. Another faint touch, ending in the same place, this time accompanied by a faint snicker from somewhere behind his head.
The teasing touches continued randomly stroking his ass and thighs, all ending with that squirm-inducing tickle against his anus. He heard a rustling sound behind him, and a piece of white clothing hit the ground in front of his face. More rustling, and one by one each piece of clothing that the man had been wearing hit the growing pile in front of him. A final thud as one last boot hit the ground, and Obi-Wan knew his captor was as naked as he was.
Suddenly the Force-touches ceased, only to be replaced by what Obi-Wan knew was real flesh - a single finger tracing its way down his butt to the puckered opening to his body. Obi-Wan shuddered faintly, straining against his bonds as that single finger traced down the cleft of his ass, not invading, just the lightest touch.
"Who are you? What do you want with me?" He kept himself from screaming only by the smallest margin, already knowing the answer to at least the second question but also knowing he had to put up some sort of fight, even if a verbal attack was all he had at his command.
The stranger laughed outright, not moving his finger from where it rested, using his other hand to stroke lightly up and down Obi-Wan's thigh. "Do you always ask stupid questions when you are about to be ravished, my squirming young victim?"
Even in his present desperate situation, Obi-Wan could not let that pass without comment. "How should I know - I've never been ravished before!" He snarled it out, putting all the venom he could muster into the retort.
"Well, my little captive of love, let this be a lesson to you - never be a smart-ass to a man who is about to fuck you." The sudden threat made Obi-Wan go still under his hands, a chill invading him to the very core of his being. "Truly", he purred, stroking one hand lightly down the boy's flank, "I am going to ravish you, my fine young Jedi - and you are going to thank me for it when I am done." He pushed against Obi-Wan's anus, not trying to enter, but testing its resistance to pressure.
"Ah, a virgin indeed - I cannot imagine how you got out of the Jedi Academy without losing this particular cherry, my friend - either the Masters are getting slower, or the Padawans are getting quicker." He stroked the puckered flesh gently, still with that single finger, massaging and teasing as Obi-Wan suddenly went limp under his touch.
"I... I... didn't... oh!" He couldn't seem to form a coherent sentence as that finger pressed against him, slipping just barely inside. His attacker's other hand rested on the back of Obi-Wan's thigh, absently stroking the soft skin as he soothed the young knight with wordless murmurs.
"It doesn't matter what you did, or did not - now, you will. Feel that? It's just my finger - but it is also an instrument. It can be used for pain - but it is so very much more satisfying when used to bring ...delight." On that last word, the finger slipped entirely inside him, eased by a sliver of Force. Obi-Wan jerked helplessly as it brushed his prostate, bringing a small explosion of ecstasy behind his tightly shut eyes.
The stranger forced his finger deeper, and Obi-Wan heard himself utter a startled moan in response. He felt a wave of satisfaction from the man above him, a feeling that bordered on erotic glee at his reaction. With apparent care, his assailant slid his finger in and out, stretching his tight passage and nudging his prostate gently, almost as if by accident. Tightly resistant muscles clenched briefly around the single digit, then Obi-Wan felt them relax minutely, allowing access. When the movement was smooth and easy, a second finger was added, and the process repeated until the young Jedi thought he was going to scream - though he could no longer say whether in outrage or ecstasy.
The man's free hand roved over his vulnerable ass, pinching it randomly and then soothing the tiny hurts away. Obi-Wan felt himself begin to move again, but this time his motions were not those of panicky escape - against his will, he was responding to the relentless caresses from the strange hands. "Oh yes, my little Jedi, yes," he crooned,, "It does feel so good, doesn't it? Let it flow, feel it - this is of the Force too, you know - just not a part of it you know very well."
"NO! This isn't...this is wrong...I can't..." Obi-Wan heard himself heave the words out but he knew his body spoke different ones. He was arching against those probing fingers, tiny whimpers escaping him. With one last twist that dragged an agonized gasp from him, the fingers were withdrawn.
"Can't? You speak a strange and unknown word to me, my lover - because I know you can." Obi-Wan felt something hot and hard press against his anus, fitted snugly in the loosened opening, then he felt the body above him lean slowly, tortuously forward and the intruder slid into his exquisitely tight heat. "Oh, gods, yes, can you feel that, young Jedi? Feel me as I possess you, seize you, make you mine. Feel that hardness taking your body, ravishing your soul."
Obi-Wan bit his lip, stifling a cry as that hard thickness pressed into him. Almost painful, but not quite, instead the strangely erotic sensation of fullness. He dimly felt the other man's hands grasping his hips, the brush of the man's long hair as it tickled his back but all of Obi-Wan's attention was focused on the invading flesh inside him. Deeper and deeper still until he felt the heat of a belly pressed against his backside.
A deep groan vibrated from the chest he could feel pressing against his back, and the man above him settled his body over Obi-Wan like a blanket, the weight making it hard for him to breathe, but that did not concern him nearly as much as how much he felt his body welcoming the implied dominance. Then he felt teeth settle on the nape of his neck, worrying the skin there gently and causing him to arch back into his attacker, his traitorous body begging the demon on top of him to take him, and take him now.
"Mine, yes, you are mine now, aren't you?" Hissed softly against his ear and Obi-Wan couldn't refute it. His hips were arching timidly upward of their own will, begging for he knew not what and he couldn't stifle a moan as the hands on his hips tightened and the man upon him, inside him, his ravisher, finally gave him what his body craved. He pulled out slightly, slowly, before thrusting back in, hard.
Oh, gods! but that felt good! Obi-Wan threw his head up as the shaft inside him jabbed at that agonizing spot and threatened to send him into orbit. A choked scream was forced out of him as his attacker began to move slowly in and out, a tortuous rhythm that made him want to howl in agony for the man to move faster. Not to end the act, but to increase it, heighten it, magnify it. He was loosing control, surrendering to the man who was violating him - and he was beginning to love it.
"Do you want me to stop, little Jedi?" Was gasped behind him and all Obi-Wan could do was whimper, leaning back into the deep lunges as best he could still tied as he was. Another deep thrust and then the man stopped, deep inside and he reached up to grab a handful of the younger man's hair, jerking his head back and Obi-Wan cried out in startled pain.
"I asked you a question, lover." Lips gently traced Obi-Wan's jaw and he could hear the other man breathing harshly, trembling with the effort of holding still. Then he whispered softly, hardly more than a breath. "Do you want me to stop?"
"Stop?" He breathed out the word. It wouldn't process through Obi-Wan's brain - he could not imagine anything beyond what was happening to him right now. His body was on fire, and his mind had shut down any thought process unrelated to the immediate experience. Finally it hit him that if the word were taken as a request, it might all end now. "NO!"
"Stop, no?" Hot breath against his ear and the man started to pull back, withdrawing.
"No! No, don't stop, don't, please, please." Begging shamelessly now, Obi-Wan strained against his bonds, trying to hold that hard flesh within him. The response was immediate. Hard hands gripped his hips again and the man surged inside, deep thrusts, quickening with each flex of the man's hips and all Obi-Wan could do was allow it, even as he pleaded in strangled moans for more.
A grunting laugh floated into his hearing. "Oh my yes ... there it is...I told you that you would ... beg me for it, my ... little Jedi trollop." Each pause was punctuated by another thrust into his body, another layer of fuel piled on to the seductive fires bathing his consciousness. He knew he was going to burn up soon, die in the heat of his own shame and desire as he writhed under his seducer.
One hand left Obi-Wan's hip and worked its way beneath his body. The man managed to wrap his fingers around Obi-Wan's aching erection and he nearly screamed at the added sensation. Oh, it was too much, too much, he thought dazedly, his pleading turning into incoherent sounds of pleasure as the man's rhythm increased yet again, and now he was pounding into the young Jedi's no-longer virginal body, grunting his own pleasure with each domineering lunge.
The man thrust hard, hesitated, and then with one final deep plunge he came. Obi-Wan heard the man scream his name and felt a flood of unfamiliar liquid heat spurt inside his body. The hand around his penis tightened reflexively, causing him to cry aloud in pain and then in surprised pleasure as the man arched his hips a final time, thrusting gently as his hand pumped the young man's erection with quick movements until Obi-Wan could no longer hold back. With a last cry, nearly a scream, he came, shuddering helplessly as the hand stroking his shaft gentled. After a long, frozen moment, both men trembling with little aftershocks of pleasure, Obi-Wan's assailant slowly withdrew his softening erection from him before collapsing at his side.
The young Jedi lay torpid - movement was a thing of dreams right now, to be thought of in the future tense. The fact that he was still bound hand and foot was irrelevant - he wasn't going anywhere any time soon. He became faintly aware that the man who had just finished raping him was now moving slowly around him. Opening his eyes and craning his head to one side, he could see the man getting dressed, slowly tugging on his boots and donning the white cloak. When he looked at Obi-Wan and saw that he was awake, he came to his side and crouched down next to him.
"You were magnificent, my young Jedi. Such sweetness is granted to mere mortals only rarely in this world - while I doubt that you thought of it this way, I am honored to be the one who tasted it first." A gentle hand glided down one shoulder and down his arm. "I will release one of your hands in a moment, and then leave. The shielding keeping you from using the Force will be removed when I am safely away from here. Someone will be told where you are - never fear, my lovely, you will be rescued." The rope on his right hand was swiftly untied, and Obi-Wan flexed his wrist and arm, trying to restore the impaired circulation, feeling pins and needles as the blood flooded back into the extremity.
The man in white stood and moved swiftly from sight, disappearing into the surrounding woods and leaving no trace of his passage, not even a disturbed bush. Obi-Wan stared at where he had disappeared, feeling the aches and unfamiliar pains in his body and knew that if he had not had the tangible evidence of what had just occurred he would have thought it some fever dream or nightmare fantasy. As he moved to free his other hand, a voice suddenly spoke in his head.
[Remember me, young Jedi - for I shall certainly remember you. Watch your back, my lovely Obi-Wan. I shall always find you, when you least expect it. I know you now - and I know what you are and what you want - and I will be there, to give it to you.] Triumphant laughter rang through his mind.
Obi-Wan Kenobi knew he had a problem, and shivered.