Archive: master_apprentice, QJEB, SWAL; anywhere else, just ask, I won't say
no.
Archive Date: December 18, 1999
Category: Angst, POV
Disclaimer: Not mine. Lucas owns it all.
Feedback: Compliments are recieved with hugs and kisses and wots of wuv and
are treasured forever. Criticism is appreciated. Flames are ignored.
Notes: I was not expecting a sequel to "An Explanation," so this, when it
came, decided to go twisted on me.
Pairing: O/An
Rating: PG-13
Series: Sequel to "An Explanation."
Spoilers: Yes.
Summary: Obi-Wan considers his options and Anakin.
Warnings: A little bit of darkness. Obi-Wan behaves in a non-typical way for
a Light Side Jedi, is possibly touched by a little Dark Side. Also,
Obi-Wan/Anakin.
The thought permeates my every moment, waking and sleeping. Even as I lie beside Anakin here tonight, it whispers to me: "As you killed the apprentice, so the Master must be killed." I feel no darkness in that emotion, only a slight sense that I would enjoy revenge too much.
Anakin shifts in my arms. His dreams for years have been of blood and fire, and I feel guilty. They are my dreams and memories.
Some part of my desire to see the one who killed my Master dead has been transferred to him, of course, as well as his own need for revenge. Grief will have its way, some say better this than depression.
We both loved Qui-Gon, in different ways, and we would gladly do anything to see this monster dead.
It has been a point of unity between us in past years. Whenever we'd argue, or he'd contest my will, I would just recall the moment I told him Qui-Gon had been killed. Letting my emotions flow over our bond, I would ask him silently if he wanted to take revenge on that Darkness or not.
Anakin would remember and snap to attention, eyes flashing.
I won so many fights that way.
I took Anakin into my bed and arms a year ago, when I was certain that he both wanted me and was old enough to know his own mind.
Since then he's pledged himself to marry Amidala, but as they won't wed until after Anakin's been Knighted, he feels justified staying with me.
We both love each other--in a way; I'll always have second place to Ami and he'll only be like a pale shadow of what I had with Qui-Gon.
As long as we both understand our places in the other's life, we will be all right.
It may be that both of us together can succeed where I failed. We may yet, if we are unified, find that Dark master and kill him.