Part Six

Duncan glanced up when he felt the sense of presence, already knowing that Methos was there. Amanda walked into the barge first, looking her usual confident self. Following closely behind, holding two large bags was Methos. Duncan couldn't tell what he was thinking, his face was as impassive as ever. "Amanda...Methos."

"Please tell me that the two of you *bought* something." Richie muttered, moving to take the bags from Methos. When then other man gladly handed his heavy load to Richie, the younger man couldn't resist getting in a barb of his own. "Personal servant...eh?"

"Shut up kid..." Methos gave a sigh, looking past the younger man to focus on the Immortal behind him. "MacLeod...long time, no see."

"Yeah...I see you've bought some new stuff." Duncan gave a slight smile, taking in the sweater he had definitely not seen before. "I like the sweater."

"Thanks." Methos said with an uncharacteristic duck of his head and a blush coloring his cheeks.

There was an awkward silence then. "Come on, let's eat." Amanda purred, filling in the empty space. "I promise it's all bought, right Methos?"

"Yeah." The old man quickly agreed. "I've lived this long, I'm not about to risk my life over her cooking."

Lunch went rather quickly, considering the fact that Duncan and Methos were nearly silent. Amanda and Richie kept up a cheery babble, trying to ignore the fact that the other two men barely even looked at each other. They both jumped up at the end of lunch, gathering up the dishes, hoping that leaving the other two alone would lead to some sort of discussion.

"It's not going well..." Richie muttered to Amanda when they were out of earshot.

"Have faith Richard."

"Have faith? Mac kept me up for half the night, worrying about what *could* go wrong. And this obviously isn't going well."

"When we leave, it'll get better. Trust me." Amanda patted him on the shoulder gently as she dropped the plates in the sink. "Come on Richard..."

Walking past Methos, she gave him a quick kiss on his head and whispered something into his ear. Grabbing her stray coat from the chair she gave Duncan a quick wave as she strolled out the door. Richie gave both men an apologetic shrug, then followed her out, also grabbing his jacket. "See you later guys..."

*** *** *** *** *** ***

Duncan sat on the couch, looking across the coffee table to the chair where Methos sat.

"We have to talk." Methos said softly.

"Yeah." Duncan agreed, looking anywhere but at the old man. They were silent for a few more moments. "I stayed up all night trying to figure out what to say to you."

Methos didn't say anything.

"I think I decided to start with I love you."

That brought Methos's head up. "I... you do?"

"Methos come here." Duncan said holding out this hand and pulling Methos on to the couch with him, tucking the older man's head against his shoulder. "There's a lot of stuff we have to deal with. I think maybe it would be easier if we started back at square one, with the basics."

"Square one?" Methos asked, a slightly amused tone to his voice.

"Yeah. I love you. I always have and always will nothing you've done in the past can change that." Duncan paused, taking a deep breath as he stared down at the floor. "And if you don't feel the same, than I guess that's all we need to say to each other."

"Mac... Duncan. I know that." The old man sighed, lifting his face to look at the Highlander. "But I don't know if it's enough anymore."

"Why shouldn't it be enough?"

"You don't trust me anymore."

"I do."

"MacLeod you wake up screaming my name in terror whenever I'm in the same bed with you, and even sometimes when I'm on the couch." The older Immortal said heavily.

"Do you think I sleep any better when you aren't there?"

"I don't know MacLeod. I don't know anything about you anymore." Methos pulled out of Mac's loose embrace, stood up, and began to pace the small area. "Sometime I think you don't really love *me*. That you're in love with *Adam Pierson* who's shy and meek and hasn't done anything worse in his life then have an over due library book."

"That's not true..."

"Right. So why was everything fine up until you found out who I was." Methos asked angrily. "You didn't have nightmares, you didn't wake up screaming... and we didn't have these sorts of problems."

"I did have nightmares Methos. They only went away when you were there with me. You comforted me as no one had ever been able to. After the Horsemen... the dreams got worse. They were different. They... they..."

"They what Duncan?"

"They changed what had happened. Instead of beating Kronos I lost... but he didn't kill me, not right away anyway. He went after you first. He... he...he killed you." Duncan's voice shook as he stuttered out what he had to say.

"Oh gods." Methos murmured as everything began to fall in to place.

"In my dreams he makes kneel there... and watch as he... t-take your h-h-head... and then I'll wake up and you won't be there." The younger Immortal continued. "And I won't be able to remember what's real... it hurt me... I couldn't bear to lose you Methos."

"Methos blinked. "I thought you...were afraid of me. I didn't want that. I tried to make things better, but it just never seemed to work." He said softly. "Things just kept coming up."

"You dreamed too." Duncan said. "You'd cry out in your sleep before you started leaving."

"Yeah, well...that's nothing new either." Methos shrugged, dropping into a sprawl on the floor in front of Duncan. "You don't live 5000 years without recalling a few things in your sleep."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Only one...the one about...about..."

"About what?" Duncan asked as he dropped to the floor and lifted Methos' head into his lap.

"When...when you said we were through. When you broke up with me."

"Methos..."

"I stand there and I *know* the words are coming out of my mouth...but it doesn't actually register until you tell me *we're through*. And it's only then that I know just how badly I screwed up my fucking life." Methos said in a resigned tone. "Trouble is, I'm living my nightmare..."

"You don't have to...I don't want you to. I want to be with you...I want you to be with me. Forever."

"Duncan, I know you believe that right now. But you won't want that the next time something else from my past comes up again."

"I won't. After...after the Horsemen, I understood. You aren't that person anymore. Maybe I won't agree with whatever you did. But I wasn't there...I don't know that I wouldn't have done the same thing. I *do* know that you've changed."

"You can accept me despite my past?"

"Yes I can. I can do anything to keep you... I hope you might give me a few chances if I mess up though."

"Well if you go by the record so far you could end up with endless chances." Methos tried to joke.

"It shouldn't be that way... If I mess up you have to let me know."

"You'll know." Methos said softly.

"I don't mean when you disappear. You have to *tell* me." Duncan said in a intense voice. "Promise me."

A smile slowly spread across the old man's face. "I promise."

Duncan couldn't suppress the grin that split his face. "I love you."

"I know..." Methos said fondly, glancing up at the other man with a smile. "I love you too."

"Do you?" Duncan watched him with a piercing him with an intense stare as Methos turned over and sat up fully, facing the other man entirely. "You've never actually told me that before..."

"I should have. But I think we've talked enough for now." Methos said closing the distance between them with a half pounce, capturing his lover's mouth with his own.

Duncan sighed as he melted into the kiss. He had missed this, missed Methos even though it had only been a few days. "Stay the night?"

---

Part Seven

"Do I have a choice...?" Methos teased.

"Always." Duncan said dead serious.

"You give me a choice but I don't think I'd ever forgive myself if I left now." Methos said, then held out his hand. "Come on, that bed of yours looks far more comfortable than this floor."

"Our bed." Duncan corrected softly taking the hand and rising to his feet.

"Our bed..." Methos echoed softly, allowing himself to be pulled up to his feet and gently led backwards towards the bed. He stumbled for a moment on the stairs then turned it in to a convenient reason to fall against Duncan's broad chest.

"Problem?" Duncan teased, holding him close and kissing him again.

"Only if you think we're doing this anywhere near the stairs."

"Well then move your cute little butt old man." Duncan said with gentle swat to the said cute butt as Methos leapt up the remaining stair and made an almost graceful dive onto the soft mattress. Following a little more slowly, enjoying the view as Methos snuggled into the pile of pillows, Duncan carefully settled himself on top of the other man, straddling his hips. "Better?"

"Much." Methos reached up to tug at the bottom of Duncan's shirt, pulling it free. "You know how you told me to let you know when something's bothering me?"

"Yeah...?"

"You talk too much..."

"Then I guess you're going to have to distract me. Think you can manage that?"

"That I'm pretty sure I can manage." Methos said pulling Duncan's shirt up over his head and off then running his heads back down the path the shirt had taken tracing the hard muscles of the Highlander's back. Duncan gave a soft purring sound as he arched up under the caresses. "Now isn't that better?" The old man asked nuzzling his face in to the crock of his lover's neck.

"Now who's talking too much?" Duncan gasped.

"Shut up Mac." The old man said affectionately covering his lover's mouth with a hand. He was rewarded with a nip in the center of his palm. "Hey." He gasped out sharply. A gentle tongue came to sooth the hurt.

"You are a brat..." Methos breathed.

"Mmm..." The Highlander hummed one hand working it's way into the old man's jeans.

"Ahhh... Duncan this won't last long if you keep this up." The ancient Immortal gasped as his lover's hand wrapped around his cock and massaged it gently, disappointed when the hand withdrew. Until he felt it fumbling with the fastening of his jeans, then pushing at them ineffectually, the pants trapped by the weight of both their bodies. With a quick movement Duncan flipped them both over and pushed the now free denim down the old man's legs, along with his underwear. Gasping at the sudden contact with Duncan's denim covered crotch Methos pressed himself even tighter against the other man, clutching at him as though he were a life line.

"I've missed you..." Duncan whispered in to his ear as he flipped them over again, lowering him gently back into the pile of pillows.

Methos gazed up at him his eyes dark with arousal. He had missed this yet at the same time this was different. The gentle way Duncan had just lain him down, the soft expression in his eyes. He wasn't quite sure what it meant but he was sure it must be important, his brain just wasn't working it's best at the moment. They lost themselves in one another's eyes for several moments then Duncan leaned in and pressed a light kiss against his lips. "I love you Methos, let me make love to you." He whispered.

Methos blinked. He didn't think anyone had said that to him in a very long time.

"Love me MacLeod, but don't treat me like a glass virgin. I won't break."

Duncan smiled lowering his head to capture Methos' mouth in a kiss that was deep and intense and anything but gentle. "We're starting over...remember? I want it to be special..."

Methos glared up at the ceiling, trying not to sigh. Of course he would choose *now* to be sappy and sentimental. When it had been two days since they had even seen each other and a near eternity since they had actually felt right together in bed. He was about to say something to that extent when Duncan closed his hand loosely around his cock, causing him to shiver in his light hold. "Ahhh... Duncan you are trying to avoid the subject." He moaned.

"You don't want gentle, I want special... I guess that means we have to make it the hottest sex in history." The Highlander growled dropping all his weight down to pin his body completely to the mattress.

"That sounds good." Methos gasped out as his lover began exploring his throat with teeth and tongue. He felt his sweater slowly being bunched up under his arms as Duncan stroked his chest and stomach with his hands. Impatiently, he flipped the two of them over once again, sitting up on his knees over Duncan and tugged the sweater entirely off, tossing it over his shoulder. "I think we need to work on our definitions of hottest sex..." The old man announced. "Mine involves nudity. NOW!"

"Well I was trying to get there." Duncan muttered his hands coming up to wander over Methos's chest caressing the satiny skin tweaking hard nipples.

"You take too damn long..." Methos complained, tugging at the buttons on Duncan's shirt, practically ripping them off in his haste. "So now you lost your turn..."

"We're taking turns?" Duncan asked, his laughter cut off suddenly when Methos kissed him soundly once again. "Mmmm..." He sighed happily participating albeit some what passively until he surged up dumping Methos on top the bed. "I think it's my turn again." He declared trying to free himself from his undershirt and somehow managing to get stuck.

"Need some help there?" Methos purred from beside him.

"Maybe a little."

"Promise not to steal my turn anymore?"

"Yeah...I suppose."

"You make it sound like a death sentence Mac." Methos smiled, flipping the both of them over once again. "Try and give up your patented control for once in your life and let go..."

"I'm not..." Duncan began to protest. "Well maybe I can be sometimes."

"Very good MacLeod, that's progress. Now if you really want to make this a night to remember you'll let go for once and be quiet."

"I can mmmmphff..." He was cut off by a hand over his mouth.

"Quiet, Duncan. As in not a word."

Duncan glared at him for a moment, then clamped his lips shut and nodded . Methos smiled giving him a quick kiss on his forehead before sitting back up to pull the shirt off his arms. "And since you're being such a good boy, you can have a reward."

Duncan gave him a sweet smile that Methos had never seen, in fact he had no idea the Highlander could do that. It was a sweet enticing look that you were more likely to find on the face of some sweet little thing who's decided she's was in love with you. But the effect on him was very nice knowing that Duncan did love him. "Do you want to know what your reward is?" He asked recovering himself. "Or do you just want me to surprise you?" The man just blinked at him and smiled. "I'll tell you what. If you put on a nice show for me getting rid of the rest of your clothes then I'll make your reward even better.

Duncan blinked in surprise, obviously not expecting that response. His expression showed even more surprise when Methos easily got up off of him, scrambling back to the pile of pillows at the head of the bed and settling in. "Well...we're lacking the music and the candlelight for a proper striptease...but I'm sure you can more than make up for that fact..." Methos smirked, waving him off the bed. Duncan blinked again, then seemed to think for a moment before scooting off the bed. Slowly he worked the fastenings of his pants fumbling a few times to add to the image then tugging them open he began pushing them over his hips and down his legs along with his briefs. He heard his lover gasp behind him, finally, he stepped out off the fabric pooled around his ankles and looked up towards Methos with a triumphant smile, knowing exactly how his little striptease was affecting the other man.

Methos saw the unspoken question in Duncan's eyes, the mix of both triumph and indulgence. *So? Do I get my reward...?* Getting no real response, Duncan climbed back up on the bed and moved towards him, the mischievous grin still on his face. Stopping when he was so close, he could practically feel Methos' heavy breaths on his face, he raised his eyebrows, asking the silent question again.

"Very nice." Methos managed finally. "I think that earns you a very nice reward. Lay down." He ordered moving to one side vacating the pillow. Duncan obeyed laying back among the pillows. Methos stared for a moment his lover really did have a gorgeous body. He trailed his gaze down to the large feet then back up to the handsome face, when he got there he saw Duncan mouth "I love you." Gazing at him adoringly. Methos stared a second more then pounced.

Touching, stroking and kissing everywhere all at once, Duncan swore there had to have been at least three other people there with him. But when the assault on his nerves finally ended and he could open his eyes again, it was only Methos there, smiling faintly. Feeling the heat radiating off the other man's body as he leaned over to blindly rummage through the bedside table, Duncan shivered in anticipation, knowing what was coming next. He started to turn but was stopped with a hand on his shoulder, Methos turning him back over until they were facing each other again.

Seeing the confused look in the other man's eyes, Methos smiled indulgently, speaking softly. "I want to see you when you come. I want to know that this is real, that this isn't some dream and that tomorrow morning, you'll still be here..." Duncan opened his mouth then stopped closed it and smiled holding up his arms invitingly. "Not yet love. We've gotta get you ready first." Duncan lifted his legs up to his chest, opening himself completely for Methos. "You're beautiful" The old man murmured as he fumbled with the massage oil he'd found in the drawer.

Duncan screwed his eyes shut tightly once again as he felt the first finger penetrate him, a deep moan escaping from his mouth. He was barely aware of the fact that Methos was still talking to him, low words that weren't really penetrating through the fog of love and need he felt. As he felt another finger enter him, he clutched the bedsheets beside him reflexively, moaning aloud once again.

"You like that?" Methos purred trying not to let his own need seep in to his voice. Duncan nodded desperately. "You want more?" Another nod. Methos smiled gently easing a third finger in to the body below him watching the expression of delight suffusing his lover's face. "Now me?" Methos asked. The powerful arms came up again in invitation.

"I'm right here..." Methos inched closer, holding Duncan's intense gaze with his own. Reaching down to coat himself with the leftover oil, he heard a muffled groan once again, smiling when he found Duncan's eyes focused on a point much lower. "Hey...look at me..."

Duncan's gaze flicked back up at him, an almost embarrassed grin coming to his face. Grabbing Methos' hands tightly, their fingers intertwining, he arched up as Methos began to slowly enter him. He clenched he teeth together trying not to make a sound, not wanting to disappoint Methos. Not tonight. The ancient immortal saw his problem. "It's okay love you can talk now." He muttered as he lay still savoring the heat of his lover's body.

"Love you..."

"I know..." Methos smiled gently once again.

"Move." The Highlander pleaded trying to thrust up against his lover. Methos smiled then withdrew a little ways thrusting back in only a second later. "More, harder, faster." Now they were demands.

Methos obliged his lover speeding up his pace and delighting as his lover thrust back against him. This was what he had wanted since they had fallen into bed together earlier that evening. Something hard and fast...and yet underneath it all, that knowledge that it all held such important meaning. He felt a tightening of the hands holding him, almost matching the tightening of the muscles around his cock. "Gods yes..." he groaned as he felt his body tense arching almost painfully as he came deep in his beloved's body only vaguely aware of Duncan following him in his release only a moment behind.

Still wrapped together, content to enjoy the moment, Duncan was almost afraid to break the silence for fear of losing this feeling of perfection. "You're going to stay...right?"

Methos turned his head to focus on Duncan, seeing the real fear etched on the other man's features. Cursing himself for hurting Duncan so much before, Methos tried to put as much honesty as he could in his next sentiment. "Always..."

***** *****

Outside the barge door, completely forgotten by the two Immortals inside, Amanda and Richie sat companionably, making small talk as the hours slowly passed. As the night wore on, Richie got more and more agitated, beginning to pace the small area, while Amanda, it seemed, didn't think anything was out of the ordinary. He glanced over at her once more, looking as if she'd be perfectly happy to spend the rest of the night out in the cold, talking about...what were they talking about anyways?

"Richard, you aren't even listening to a word I'm saying anymore, are you?"

"Of course I am..."

"Right. What did I just say?"

"Alright! I have no clue." Richie shouted out, stopping directly in front of Amanda. "Aren't you just the slightest bit worried about what's going on in there?"

"Richard, we have their swords, there's nothing sharper than a butter knife left in there...why should I be worried?" Amanda sighed, realizing that her words did nothing to soothe his anxiousness. "Come on, don't tell me you don't have faith in the two of them..."

"Of course I do. Fine I'm over-reacting, that happens when I start freezing to death."

"Richard this is hardly chilly." Amanda sighed. Then grabbed onto the nearest hand hold as the barge swayed slightly. "There...they're fine now."

"And how do you know they aren't trying to rip each other's heads off with their bare hands?"

"It's too quiet. Come on we'll just slip their swords in the door, after we take a peek to be sure. Then we can go get you warmed up some place nice."

"Uh uh. No way Amanda. Knowing that Duncan and the Old Guy screw each other's brains out on a regular basis is *much* different than actually seeing it. I'll just stay out here if it's all the same to you."

"Oh come on Richard. I can't hold the door and slide the swords in quietly by myself, and you know how much trouble I'll be in if I get caught." The young Immortal didn't look convinced. "Please Rich." She purred sweetly.

The boat swayed again. "Alright, fine, just so we can get out of here sooner." He relented finally. They crept to the door, Amanda silently turning the knob and opening it just the tiniest crack to peek in. "There you see," she hissed. "They're not fighting. "

"Great...I'm not looking, just slide the swords in." He demanded holding the door open the few inches that were necessary. "Amanda?"

"Alright, alright." Amanda hissed back angrily, putting their swords down where they were sure to be noticed. Creeping back out of the barge, she waited until the door was tightly closed before she whirled on Richie. "It's not like we would have gotten caught or anything...they were a little too busy to notice."

"You know what Amanda...this is me not listening to you. Because this is also me not wanting to know exactly what the heck the two of them were up to." Richie sighed, turning to walk towards Amanda's car. "Can we please go now?"

"You owe me Richard..."

"Uh huh...we'll just call it even now. Let's go." Holding the car door open for her, Richie sighed, glancing towards the Barge with a smile. "You're welcome Mac..." He muttered to the empty street before joining Amanda in the car and driving off, glad that the last wo days had finally come to an end.

End - Finding What Was Never Lost

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