Disclaimer:
Voyager and all the characters in this story belong to the o'mighty Paramount,
unfortunatly they aren't mine. This story is rated NC-17 and contains m/m SEX
if you don't like that or are under 18 now would be a good time to leave.
Part One
Kathryn Janeway looked at the view screen
watching the planet behind them, shrinking as they sped away. 'It's not that
you want to leave them.' She reminded herself, trying to soothe the knawing
guilt she felt. 'They deserve their lives.'
'Yeah, if they don't kill each other first.'
Another part of her mind put in.
'They can work it out, this is just the sort
of situation they need to work out their differences. If only it weren't so
permanent. If only they could have found a cure to the virus that had infected
the two men. But nothing seemed to work.
*************************************************************************************
On the planet's surface, Chakotay struggled
with the shelter. "You know Chakotay." Tom drawled, leaning against a
pile of equipment. "You could let me help."
"I can manage." Chakotay growled.
"I know you can. But we could do it
faster together."
"Fine, help. Just don't get in my
way." The Commander spat.
"Chakotay, we're going to be here awhile,
you could try to get along with me." Tom said, but the other man stonily
ignored him. "What do you want, Chakotay? Huh? I'm sorry you got left out
of Janeway's plan. I'm sorry I used you to get out of prison. I'm sorry I got
caught, I'm sorry I'm a screw up, and I'm *sorry* I was born a Starfleet Brat.
"I don't care." The older man said,
his dark eyes pinning Tom with a furious look.
Tom's face crumbled and he turned away.
"Yeah? But maybe I do." He said softly as he disappeared into the
trees, Chakotay staring after him in shock.
As soon as Tom was sure he was out of sight
he broke into a run.
He ran almost until he collapsed, then
stopped, breathing hard and slumped against a tree. When he'd finally gotten
his breath back he sighed.
Suddenly there was a rustle above him.
Looking up he found himself being watched by a small monkey-like primate.
"Hello Monkey." He said heavily,
the creature just continued to look at him curiously.
"What do you think, monkey? Why won't
Chakotay give me a chance? I mean, I know we've never gotten along particularly
well, but I know we could if he'd just..." Tom trailed off as the monkey
cocked its head at him.
"I'm talking to a monkey, I must really
be losing it. Fall in love with a man who hates me, or for that matter, run off
on a strange planet without a tricorder and start talking to monkeys. I really
am nuts."
With that, Tom set to trying to find his
trail back to the landing site. The last thing he wanted to do was call the
Commander and ask for help. He'd never hear the end of it.
*************************************************************************************
Chakotay sat in the finally completed shelter
several hours later, organizing some PADDs, for the third time. Damn it, where
was the man. He'd been gone for hours. Long enough for Chakotay to complete the
shelter and move all their equipment and belongings inside.
It was getting dark, part of him said to go
find Paris. But he didn't know if he'd be all that welcome.
He waited a few more moments undecided. Just
when he decided to go out looking, Tom returned.
He entered, looking awkward. "I'm sorry
Sir." He mumbled, looking around, carefully avoiding Chakotay's eyes.
"I shouldn't have taken off like that."
"It's all right, Paris." Chakotay
said. "We're both under a lot of stress, but don't do it again."
Tom nodded and headed for the alcove Chakotay
had stacked his things in.
**************************************************************************************
Chakotay was up early. His dreams had been
disturbed by the image of Tom's face when he snapped at him. And the
uncharacteristically soft voice. "...but maybe I do..."
It was probably just the stress. Why else
would Tom say something like that? The man didn't even like him.
Getting out of bed, he pulled on clean
clothes and considered what to do today. As he moved to start breakfast he
froze, catching sight of Tom curled up on the narrow bed, his golden hair
tousled. Chakotay watched the younger man sleep, marveling at who different he
looked without the cynical smart-ass mask in place. It was like looking at a
completely different man. Seeing Tom asleep you would never believe he could be
such a cocky SOB when he was awake. 'He looked like some sort of angel
sleeping.' Chakotay thought. 'More like an archangel.' He told himself. There
was no way you could call Tom Paris an angel.
A rustle outside finally drew Chakotay back
to reality opening the door, he cautiously look out but saw nothing.
Returning to breakfast, the images of Tom from
his dreams overlaying with the image of the sleeping pilot, his face innocent
and younger almost.
Well maybe if they tried they could get
along. Tom seemed willing enough. Now if he could just control his own temper.
When he'd made the 'coffee', though that name
was used lightly, Chakotay dragged a chair outside and settled himself to
think.
Paris was right; they were going to be here a
long time. And obviously the other man was willing to try. Well maybe they
could work something out.
**************************************************************************************
Tom sat in the woods again, quietly regarding
his primate companion. He'd just told it his plan. The little guy didn't seem
to like the idea very much.
"Well I know I've never been very good
at sticking to things. But I'm highly motivated, Chakotay doesn't like me
because I'm reckless and have no regard for authority. So if I do everything he
wants and says...then he'll have to like me. Right?"
The monkey almost seemed to sigh.
"It'll work, you'll see." Tom said,
getting to his feet and turning towards the shelter. "See ya later,
monkey."
When he got 'home', Tom found Chakotay
working on cutting the logs for the cabin. "Where have you been?" The
Commander asked, sounding irritated. "I needed help moving these
logs."
"Sorry sir, I..."
"Just don't wander off again. Let's move
the logs."
"Yes Sir..." Tom murmured. He
hadn't wandered off, he'd told Chakotay he was taking a walk.
**************************************************************************************
"Will you *quit* it all ready,
Paris?" Chakotay shouted. Tom had been drumming the exact same rhythm on
one of the tool chests for twenty minutes. The Commander expected an answering
shout, a smart retort. He certainly didn't expect what he got. Tom's face
seemed to cave in on it's self, his eyes dropped and he hung his head.
"I'm sorry." Tom said quietly.
'Damn it!' He thought miserably to himself. Why couldn't he do anything right?
Every attempt to do 'anything' seemed to irritate or anger Chakotay somehow.
Tom had never tried so hard to please someone
in his life. Not even his father, but nothing was working the way he had
planned.
Moodily, Tom kicked at a small stone that lay
on the ground, following it as it skittered and bounced off a tree, coming to
rest close to his feet again. He moved to kick it again that caught himself. No
Chakotay, had told him not to do that yesterday.
With a quiet sigh, Tom folded his legs and
sat leaning against the tree. Crossing his legs, Tom leaned forward and
examined the ground.
Chakotay watched Tom. He'd swear the man was
sulking. Well, there were plenty of things Paris could be doing. He was about
to tell him so when he realized that there wasn't anything left. He'd told the
younger man that he couldn't cut logs because he had no experience doing
anything like it and he couldn't work in the garden because his planting was
too random. He had also Tom to be quiet and not to wander off.
And to Chakotay's surprise, he realized Tom
had gone along with everything he had been told. Had allowed any suggestions he
made to be brushed aside without a single comment or protest. Now there was
nothing left for him to do. That thought brought on a wave of guilt. He was still
playing the Commander, even though they weren't on the ship anymore.
"Do you want to help with these
plans?" Chakotay asked the younger man, trying to make amends.
Tom looked up in surprise. "I don't
really know much about building." He said cautiously.
"It's never too late to learn."
Chakotay offered.
"Okay." Tom said, getting to his
feet and coming to look at the plans.
************************************************************************************
Chakotay very quickly had to admit Tom was
eager and quick to learn. And he almost had to laugh at the childlike
exuberance the pilot showed, grinning like that...and scowling furiously every
time he made a mistake.
"It'll go like this?" He
questioned, holding up two pieces of the wood they'd cut earlier and
positioning the against the shelter wall.
"Not quite." Chakotay said, hiding
a smile as the scowl reappeared. "Like this." Standing behind the
younger man he reached around him to reposition the pieces correctly. "You
were close."
"I see..." Tom managed to get out.
'Oh gods...I'm going to pass out.' He thought to himself. 'His arms are
actually around me.' He didn't care if it was perfectly innocent on Chakotay's
part, the man's arms were still around him.
"But we'll save that for tomorrow."
Chakotay said, moving away. "It's getting dark."
Tom almost fell down, one moment Chakotay
felt so close so...there. The next, it was gone. But oh gods...it had been
wonderful for those few, precious seconds.
**************************************************************************************
Some days later Chakotay was working in the
garden, but the seedlings he was planting certainly weren't in the neat rows he
usually planted in. With a sigh Chakotay filed on the space around the last
small plant. Where had Tom gotten to? It had been quiet a while... he was never
really comfortable when the man was out on his own. After all even if they
weren't on Voyager any more, he was still responsible for the man's health and
safety.
A sudden gust of wind blew a large leaf
square in to the big man's face. The surprise that cause him caused him to lose
his balance and fall on to his side as he pulled the leaf off. He lay still for
several moments thinking. He really was being silly worrying so much about Tom.
They knew just about everything about this area there was absolutely nothing
that could endanger Tom. Or himself for that matter.
**************************************************************************************
Tom was in a tree a short distance from the
shelter. Chakotay had lifted his restriction on wandering, but he still didn't
seem to like it much when Tom went out alone. So he comprised by always keeping
at least part of the shelter in view. Of course that didn't always mean
Chakotay couldn't sill see him.
There was a slight rustle over his head. And
looking up Tom found the monkey there, smiling as the little fur ball started
chattering wildly. What on earth had gotten in to the little guy? Tom wondered
then he felt the tree sway as the wind picked up, and heard a low rumble.
Time to go, he thought and quickly clambered
down from his perch. Breaking in to a run as wind picked up further the
rumbling got louder. And suddenly it didn't seem like such a short distance
back to the shelter.
**************************************************************************************
Chakotay heard the rumble of the storm
breaking just as Tom came pelting out of the forest.
"Inside." The older man ordered
unnecessarily and together they both bolted into the shelter, closing the door
behind them.
The tiny shelter shook violently as the storm
raged outside. A deafening crash sounded outside and Tom gave a yelp, diving
under the table. When the next crash knocked a pile of equipment off one of the
shelves, Chakotay decided that might not have been such a bad idea and joined
the younger man.
"Why didn't we know about this?"
Tom shouted over the din.
Chakotay looked up to answer and caught site
of the shelf, coming loose from the wall and beginning to fall towards Tom.
Quickly, he pulled Tom back against him and further under the table.
The shelf crashed down within inches of where
Tom had been. The pilot let out a shaky breath and swore softly, then began to
shake almost as badly as the shelter.
"You okay?" The Commander asked.
Tom didn't answer. "Tom?" Still no answer. Gradually, the storm began
to subside. But the shaking in Tom's frame didn't.
"Relax." Chakotay said awkwardly,
trying to comfort the man as the noise faded. Then unexpectedly Tom jerked away
scrambling to his feet.
**************************************************************************************
Chakotay entered the shelter after surveying
the damage out side. Looking towards Paris's bed he found the man curled on the
cot just as he'd left the man. Chakotay had tried desperately to comfort the
weeping man. But nothing had seemed to get though to him. Then finally Tom had
reacted but it hadn't been how he'd hopped. "Go'way." He'd mumbled.
And so Chakotay had, not wanting to further upset him.
"You feeling any better?" He asked
softly approaching the bed.
"Fine." Tom said. "That
storm... it... it just brought up an old memory that's all."
Chakotay didn't believe for a second that,
'that was all'. But if Tom didn't want to talk about it, he was pretty sure
that nothing would get him to talk. So he left it and began picking up the
fallen equipment.
**************************************************************************************
Several days later Chakotay crept from
beneath the shelter of the table. What a mess. "That was the worst so
far." He commented.
"And the sensors say these thing's are
just going to keep getting worse?" Tom questioned rolling out from under
his bed where he'd taken shelter when the storm hit this time.
Chakotay nodded. "We won't survive to
many more here we've got to find some where else to go." He said righting
a chair. "We have maps here somewhere."
"You mean these?" Tom asked holding
up several limp coffee stained pages.
Chakotay just groaned.
**************************************************************************************
It took them five days to find a spot where
the storms wouldn't destroy everything they built. A day's walk south of the
camp, they found a deep canyon in which the storms didn't drop into, they
simply raged overhead. Even better were the wide mouthed caves they found, one
of which, to their great delight contained a hot spring. And it was Tom who
came up with the idea of building the new shelter over the mouth of one of the
caves to get maximum space for minimum materials and work. Though he was
constantly pointing out how he had no clue how to actually carry out his plan.
The chose one of the largest cave that was close to the hot spring. Their new
home consisted of one large cavern with two smaller ones that branched off the
back one to either side.
In their efforts Chakotay was beginning to
notice how often the younger man belittled his own efforts, and had to wonder
if the man had been like this on Voyager. If he had the Commander certainly
hadn't noticed, but then the commander would have been apt to agree with a
lower opinion of the man's efforts.
But now... Now he'd discovered what sort of
man Tom really could be.... He did his best to point out Tom's good work to
him. And to himself.
**************************************************************************************
Today they were supposed to be beginning their
move down to the caves, but it was pouring rain. Tom and Chakotay both had
their things packed into the backpacks Voyager had left them. They figured it
would take six trips to get the things they could move easily to the new camp.
Of course that list had been considerably shorten by the fact that the storms
had destroyed most of the research equipment. Then they'd figure what to do
with the rest.
Tom watched as Chakotay paced. The man had been very eager to get moving. And now the rain was keeping them here another day. He paced back and forth from one end of the shelter to the other. Tom smiled slightly it was like watching a caged animal. A strong, beautiful, wild animal... 'Stop right there, Tommy.' Tom ordered himself. 'Don't torture yourself.'