Sacrifices
Disclaimer:
I used no names so it's all mine mine mine...
Sigh.... Yep that about covers how I feel at
this moment in time. You'd think I'd feel better, I mean I just averted another
disaster between those two. But I don't. I feel lousy.
Anyway. They were fighting again... well not
really fighting. But not speaking... she complained that he didn't care enough
to make an effort... and him. Well he was just trying to pretend it didn't mean
anything to him. It did of course, that was how I was finally able to talk him
in too going to talk to her.
So they talked, made up and everything is
better now. For them. I'll never admit to either of them... or anyone how much
it cost me to do it. I love him. When they're fighting he pays much more
attention to me. Trying to make sure I don't take her side against him. Like I
ever would take sides between them. But that attention. It's wonderful to be
the center of his focus every so often. I knew when I started convincing him to
talk to her I'd lose that. But I think it hurt me more seeing my friends suffer
then losing that will hurt.
So here I am... alone as usual... preparing
myself to be ignored. But I'll live... survive and go on... It's something I've
gotten rather good at. Maybe if I'm lucky it'll hold me together until someone
special enough to make me love them comes along. Someone who shines brighter
then him. Or not, it will never happen. No one can take his place; maybe
someone will come close. But never will I love anyone more then him.