Pete's Turn


Fourth in the Peter and Valerie series.
 

Valerie was sitting on her couch writing in her journal. She couldn't wait for spring break, which was less than two weeks away. She was going back home to be with the guys for the whole week.

She hadn't seen the guys since Christmas break. This semester was a bit harder than the first, and trying to drive down for the weekend wasn't in the plans this time around. She missed everyone so much, especially Peter. She missed their discussions, their friendship and his loving.

While still thinking about the guys, the phone intruded on her thoughts. Moving from the couch, Valerie went to the desk to answer the phone.

"Valerie?" a male Texan drawl voice asked.

"Mike?" she asked. She could feel the awkwardness in his voice. "What's wrong?"

"It's Pete," he said.

Valerie sat down at her desk. "Michael? What's wrong?"

"I don't know where to start," he told her.

"Just tell me and I'll figure it out," she tried to tell him in a soothing voice. He sounded tired.

"After Christmas Peter started having writer's block, when he tried to write songs but they wouldn't go anywhere for him," Mike sighed then continued on. "After awhile, he started going out to a few local haunts, drinking. We tried to tell him he was doing himself more harm than good. Now all he does is sleep or drink. Davy can't even sleep in there anymore. And Peter has gotten hateful Val. His words hurt."

Valerie knew the symptoms all to well. Her father used to be the same way. Until he admitted he had a problem. Valerie thought for a minute, then told Mike. "Okay, here's the plan. I'll call my professors and tell them I have a family emergency. I don't have any tests coming up next week. I'll call a few classmates to get copies of the notes I'll miss. I'll be down there by Thursday afternoon. I have some experience in this but it is going to be up to Peter to decide what he wants to do."
 

"I'm out of options Val. I tried to talk to him. We always used to talk. But he has shut everyone out."

"I know Mike," she told him. "Peter is not who we know right now. His mind is warring with itself. Maybe his lashing out is a way of saying that he is hurting. We have to know what he is hurting over."

"That's an easy answer," Mike told her. "He misses you."

Valerie took a moment, not saying anything.

"We know that school has you busy this semester. I know Peter misses you."

"I'll be there Thursday." she promised.

"I'm sorry Val. I didn't mean to get you down."

"I told you if you ever needed me to call." she told him. "I love all you guys. I haven't forgotten you. Believe me, I think of you all everyday. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"I'll tell the others. Drive safely."

"I will. Good night Mike."

"Good night."

Valerie hung up the phone and sat at her desk for a moment. Pete wasn't handling her time away well. He had taken to the bottle to escape. "Peter what have you done?" she asked. She got up and found her syllabuses to call her professors about leaving early. She had two papers to work on and some notebook work for others. She was taking four classes, creative writing, music theory, math and history. Creative writing had a finished paper due after break on describing a traumatic event in your life. History had her writing a paper on the New Deal. She could do advance work in math and get a list of recordings for music theory, she could wing that class with help from Mike and Peter.

Valerie sat down at her desk and started calling teachers about her family crisis.

** ** **

Valerie pulled up next to the Monkee Mobile. She had left early that morning to get to the pad as soon as possible. She picked up her suitcase and backpack and headed for the front door. Putting down her bags, she rang the door bell. She could hear through the door, "Hang on. I'm coming." It was Micky. The door opened. "Valerie!" he said taking her into his arms.

Valerie could feel the tension in him, his hug was a hold on for life hug. "Micky?" she asked.

"I miss him Val. I want Peter back," he whispered into her ear.

She was getting the feel on how desperate the situation was. "It will be okay Micky," she told him, consoling the best she could, her hand went to his hair, massaging it for a moment. After a minute, Micky pulled back and looked at her. He went to pick up her suitcase and backpack. Her backpack made him look at her. "Strong back," she told him to his silent question.
They went into the living room. "Hey guys. Look who's here?" Micky announced. Davy was on the back veranda and Mike came out of his room upstairs. They came over and they gave her a hug.

She felt the same tension in each of them. She had them all sit down on the couches. "Tell me guys."

Davy looked sheepish but first spoke. "He's a real boozer. Brings a bottle with him. He lays in bed staring at nothing, drinking out of the bottle. You walk in there and you get a full whiff of it. I moved in with Mike and Micky."

Mike went on, "He's haggard. I know he has lost a bit of weight and he's gained a beard. Doesn't really think about himself."

"What have you done for gigs?"

"Really in the last six weeks we haven't, we can't count on him," Micky told her. "Mike and I have gotten part time jobs. Mike has been working at the music store and I've been doing some mechanical work at David's."

Davy pouted for a moment then told her, "Someone has to be home for Peter."

"When he does come out of the bedroom, if we are around, he is spiteful. I never heard him say a nasty thing about anyone towards anybody. But now.." Mike whistled. "I know I can take a guy down a peg or two but Peter can beat me hands down."

Valerie took the information and thought about it all. She was going to have a tough time, but she had to do it to make Peter face things. It might be easy, or it might be hard.
 

"It's going to get better guys. It might not happen over night or in a week. Maybe by my coming, he'll be happy or ashamed. We don't know on how he is going to react to me being here."

"But it has to better than wallowing," Davy said.

"Yes, it will be a start to the next chapter. As I said before, it is going to be up to Peter what that is."

Mike could see Valerie was putting on a brave face for them. She knew they were scared for Peter. He put his arms around her. After a few minutes, Valerie got up and headed to the bedroom door. She looked at it for a moment then opened it.

The room was dark and stank of stale alcohol. She went to the window and pulled up the shade to let in the light, then opened the window for fresh air. Valerie looked around the room, it was somewhat picked up, at least that part of Peter hadn't changed. He was forever picking up after everyone. The trash can however was full and there clothes piled up on Davy's bed.

Valerie looked at the sleeping form on the bed. He hadn't moved. She walked over to him and gave him a light shake on his shoulder. "Wake up sleepy head," she told him.

A groan came to her.

She saw his face. She never would have visualized him with a beard, he was always clean cut Peter. It looked soft to touch but that would come after she got him awake. She changed her thought back to the process at hand, "Come on Peter. Is this a way to spend time when your friend comes down to see you and the beach?" she asked.

Peter rolled onto his back and opened his eyes. The light made him groan again. Then he realized who was standing next to the bed. "What are you doing here?" he asked partially in disbelief and partially with disdain.

"Hello to you too," she complemented him. "Here I come for a vacation from school and you are buzzing your brains out." She picked up an empty bottle to show him.

"Go to hell," he said, turning in the bed to have his back at her. "Go away."

"Afraid that is not going to happen Peter." she told him. "Like your worst nightmare, I'm here to stay." She braced for whatever tongue lashing he would give. She had told herself that it wasn't her Peter, that he was hurting.

"What do you know about nightmares?" he asked.

Valerie sat down on the corner of the other bed. "I know quite a bit about this nightmare." she answered sadly. "When I was a little girl I used to hear my father yelling. He would come home drunk. Dad would come home more times in a bad mood and take it out on anyone." she told him. She hadn't told Peter about this part of her life. "He say harsh words to mom and I think more than once something got broken in the house from the fights.

"This went on for a year. Mom would make sure that Anthony and I were in our rooms before Dad would get home to keep us out of harms way. But it didn't keep us from hearing him.

"It seems thing weren't quite the way they should have been at work. Dad was stressed out, to many people telling him what to do, where to go. He would drink to unwind before coming home. Well it didn't solve the problems of work, so he took it out on mom verbally.
 

"It took a year to find out that work was the problem. Mom finally convinced Dad to leave and find something else. He found a partner for a club and that suited him.

"I know what a nightmare is. The wanting to fix things and being powerless to fix it." she looked up and saw him looking at her. "What do you want to fix?"

During the time Valerie told him about her life, he moved to sit up in bed to look at her. She retold the story, not looking at anything, reliving the memories that she was retelling. When she was finished, Peter had silent tears coming down his face.

In a quiet voice he told her what he wanted, "I want you." Valerie got off the bed and took him into hers arms. "I want you. When you left in January I missed you so much. I couldn't write anything. My music was awful." he told her. "When you told me you couldn't visit I lost it. I was looking forward to your visits."

Peter cried for sometime. He thought he couldn't cry anymore, that he had done it for so long that nothing was left. Yet he cried a new. Finally, the tears gave way. Valerie continued to hold him, rocking him, like he had done for her so long ago. She kissed the top of his head, telling him it will be okay.

Peter pulled away and looked at Valerie, into her eyes. "When I first looked, I thought your were a dream." he told her.

She moved her head to kiss him, she kissed him with a reassurance that she wasn't a dream. "Does your dreams kiss you like that?"

Peter shook his head, "My dreams don't have any kisses. My dreams are just holding you, holding you close, so that I will never lose you."

Peter took her in his arms and held her close, to make sure she didn't leave.

Once Valerie went into the bedroom, the three Monkees got glasses to put to the door to listen in. They wanted to watch out for Valerie's safety, if Peter lashed out to her, they would come to her defense.
 

They heard the blind go up then the window open. "Wake up sleepy head," she heard call to Peter. They heard the groan and the further prodding of Valerie to wake him. Peter sounded a bit harsh when she did get him to talk but not as bad as they had encountered from him.
 

Then they heard the question from Peter about, "What do you know about nightmares?" The three of them listened to the story of Valerie's experience.

Then they heard crying, Peter crying. "It will be okay," they heard Valerie tell him. It was then they moved away from the door. They made their way to the veranda, to give them some privacy

"He's crying," Micky said with a hopeful smile.

"Yeah, he's crying. He admitted to Valerie what he is upset about. But we still have a problem guys. He wants her. She has to leave in two weeks to go back to school." Mike pointed out to them.

Micky sat down again, his hopeful smile disappearing. "You think when she leaves, Pete will go back to this monster?"
"I just know that Valerie is the key to all this mess. If she stays we can get Peter back to his old self," Davy told them.

"But she has school," Micky pointed out to Davy, trying to show that was not an option.

They sat down, thinking about the situation and the consequences.

** ** ** ** **
 

Peter took her in his arms and held her close, to make sure she didn't leave.

After a few minutes, Valerie moved to back and looked down at him. She leaned down and kissed him. First she licked his lips then explored when he opened his mouth. Valerie cupped his cheek, feeling the now soft hairs of his beard. She wanted to show him that she loved him, that she never forgot him.

She pulled back to remove the sheet that was between them. Valerie smiled at seeing Peter being nude. His body already showing the affects of her kiss showing on his male appendage.

Valerie stood up and slowly stripping out of her clothes. First her top, then bra. She unbuttoned her jeans and lowered them with her panties.

She returned to the bed and started kissing Peter. She kissed his lips with a demanding hunger. Then started her way down his neck and chest. She could feel the loss of weight on him, once where there was a layer of fat, she felt the bone.

Peter groaned when she skirted around his erect cock She played around it then took it into her mouth. Peter bucked his hips up, more surprised by her actions but wanting more.. She wet it, licking it's sides like a lollipop. Peter closed his eyes, taking in the feelings of her tongue on his erect member. "Valerie," he said hoarsely. "Honey, you're driving me mad."

Valerie moved to position herself over his cock and lowered herself onto his stiff erection. Rocking up a little, she lifted herself up then down. Once settled into a rhythm, she started moving faster and deeper.

Peter watched as Valerie rode him. She rocked a different motion and gave them both a jolt. She hit her sensitive spot and had him deep within her. She continued to ride him till she felt herself shatter with a climax. Peter was just starting his own release, he bucked his hips a few times to fill her.

Peter held her in his arms, marveling how she could love him when he was such a mess.

She whispered under her curtain of hair, "I love you Peter Tork, don't you ever forget that."

Peter closed his eyes, he had forgotten. She loved him and unselfishly showed him that she did. "God, how I missed you Val," he told her.

They held each other, one falling asleep, the other staying awake thinking.


Valerie heard Peter fall asleep. She slipped out of his embrace and stood. She dressed and went back into the living room. The only Monkee she found was Mike. He was sitting at the band stand playing an acoustic guitar. She sat down on the piano bench. Mike looked at her and gave a sleazy grin.

"What's that for?" she asked.

"Your hair is a mess," he told her. Valerie started to comb her hair with her fingers, she forgot about her hair being tousled. Mike watched her try to her calm her hair down. "Sounded good in there, Peter crying that is."

"Yeah, it is sad how it came to be," she told him. "I never thought I would have to think about when dad was drinking," she explained. "I had a hard time sleeping then. I used to sneak into Anthony's room. He would always let me in his bed." She looked at Mike, "we got a problem here. He's drinking because of me. But I have to go back to school in two weeks. I have to much invested in not to go back."

Mike knew that. "We'll see how Pete is in a few days before we discuss this issue. Let's get him over the first hurdle before thinking of that. Maybe you coming is what he needed. I don't know." Mike shrugged.

Valerie nodded. "I better go hit the books. I have homework to do."

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
Valerie had cleared off Davy's bed. She slept on it to keep an eye on Peter. Peter had slept through the day and throughout the night. Now it was late morning. She sat working on her paper for Creative writing. Picking a traumatic life experience was hard enough to choose but to write about it. She started writing about her fathers drinking for it was on the surface of her life right now.

Peter finally started moving. She waited to see how he felt both physically and emotionally.

Peter rolled onto his back. His head hurt with a pounding headache. There was light in the room, usually it was dark. Peter looked over and saw Valerie sitting on Davy's bed.

"You're not a dream?" Peter asked.

Valerie moved to sit on the edge of his bed. "No, I'm not a dream," she confirmed. "You okay?"
 

"Headache," he told her.

She moved to pick up some aspirin and a glass of water. She handed them to him and he took them and drank the water. He laid back on his pillow closing his eyes.

Valerie touched his arm, he pulled away a bit. She noticed his movement. "Peter?" she asked. She didn't want him to withdraw. She couldn't let him.

He opened his eyes and saw her. "What Val?" he said in a tired voice.

"Don't leave me," she said. "Don't follow a path I can't help you with." she told him. "I'm scared Peter."

Peter reached to bring her down to hug. He was sorry to have her see him like this, sorry to cause her such worry. "I'm sorry Val."

She pulled up after a few minutes. "The guys are gone if you want to get up for awhile."

Peter smiled kindly at her. She had letting him get away with not seeing the guys to get himself together. Valerie got up and collected her notebook. "I'll be on the veranda," she told him.

Peter watched her leave his room, closing the door behind her. He laid back in the bed, looking up at the ceiling. He admitted to her right away on why he had put himself and the guys through hell for the last three months. He wanted her but she was going to school, she would have to leave soon. He couldn't handle that. "We'll deal with that later," he told himself. "Enjoy her while she is here. Maybe a fix will help you till summer break." He got up and put his robe on. He headed for the bathroom to take a long hot shower.

Valerie sat on a chaise writing her rough draft for her story. She had done some math homework the night before while the guys went to work. Davy felt relief that he got a chance to go out.

None of them complained other than they wanted their Peter back. Valerie stopped writing in her journal. She couldn't help but to think about the immediate future. She was half way through the semester. She could transfer after the semester to something here in LA. But she doubted she would get much work done with Peter and others around. They had more problems than she did. Valerie shook her head it would be a no win situation.

Valerie closed her notebook. She wasn't in the mood to write. She would try to get some done that night after Peter went to bed.

Peter came out onto the veranda. He dressed in a pair of jeans and the red band shirt. Gone was his beard. All he needed was a hair cut. Valerie got up and gave him a hug, wrapping her arms around his waist. He returned the hug, his arms encircling her shoulders and back.

"Looking good," she whispered.
 

"I feel much better," he told her. "God, when I looked at my face in the mirror before taking my shower I couldn't believe it. It was me, yet..."
 

"It didn't feel like you," she finished.

Peter nodded, "I really lost it." He let go of Valerie and walked over to the hand rail of the porch and sat on it, looking back at her. "I turned to the bottle for my fear of telling you how I felt."

Valerie sat down on a chair looking up at him.

"I promised you that I wanted you to go to school. I was surprised when you mentioned places away. But I promised to support you on it. Last semester we had our fixes each month. I got to see you, feel you, taste you. Christmas was a blast. I think it was my happiest I can remember. Then this semester I was crushed when you told me you wouldn't be able to come till spring break. Valerie I depend on you so much. It scared me. I couldn't write a decent song. I couldn't get you out of my mind," he confessed to her.

Valerie stood back up and put her arms around him.. "Let's get you back to par, then we'll discuss about the future," she told him.

Peter nodded on top of her head.

They were like that for a few minutes then Peter had her move back. "Now I have to see what I can do about the guys. They must hate me."

"We don't hate you shot gun." Mike told them from the doorway to the house. Behind him were Davy and Micky.

"How long were you there?" Peter asked.

"We heard the whole confession," Micky answered.

Peter stood up and looked at them while they came out to the veranda. "Mike. Micky. Davy. I know that I haven't been exactly friendship material lately."

"That's for sure," Davy cut in.

"..and I really made a mess of things, but I hope you forgive me. I know I've said some real harsh words.."

"Harsh isn't the half of it," Mike told him.

"..and I've blown you off more times than not.."

Micky took this one, "I've never known you to not play a note in a day till now."

Peter took a deep breath and continued, "I would like to ask a second chance."
 

The three guys looked at him and it was Mike who spoke. "Peter you have given us so many chances with our craziness. We just ask that you let us help you when you need help. Of course you get a second chance." The three of them came up to Peter and gave him the traditional Monkee's hug.

Valerie slipped into the pad to let them have some time alone. She heard them talking and razing each other. She smiled to herself. Valerie turned to go into the kitchen to start lunch. She felt a pain in her side. She had been having off and on since Christmas. The doctor had not found anything. Valerie took a few breathes while it passed. She continued in the kitchen to start lunch.

Everyone sat at the kitchen table eating sandwiches and chips. Valerie was enjoying the stories that the guys were telling Peter about things that had happened over the past few weeks. They were glad to have their "buddy" back.

When lunch was over, Micky took up dish duty. Mike headed to the band stand. Peter followed him to talk to him alone.

Mike sat on the stool, picking up an acoustic guitar. He saw Peter come up.

"Mike?" Peter asked.

"What can I do for you?"
 

Peter heard that phrase for people Mike was stand offish with. He missed Mike's friendship the most and wanted to work it out.

Peter looked down at his feet then looked up. "I'm sorry Mike. Over the last few weeks I gave a lot of verbal abuse, and a lot of it was towards you. You told me not to dig her so much, but I fell hard. I was having a hard time admitting it, to anyone, especially myself."

Mike nodded. "You forgot something very important Peter. You forgot about talking about your problems. You got each of us to talk to you, yet you clammed up on us. But I guess the moderator of the group would have a hard time to open up to us with all our hang ups."

"Forgiven?" Peter asked.

"Forgiven, Big Pete." Mike put the guitar down and gave him a hug. Something that rarely is seen from the tall Texan on his own right. Group hugs were different but one on one's were rare.

Valerie saw the exchange from across the room. The mending process was in the works. She could only hope that it would continue.
 

Micky came out of his room with a box and headed down the stairs, "Hey Pete, feel like a hair cut?"

Peter turn to look at the curly haired guy coming at him with a mischief smile. "Hey man, I thought I would give this length a try." He really didn't trust Micky this soon after. "Now Micky," Peter started moving away from Micky. "What's the hurry man?"

Valerie watched as Micky started to chase Peter around the pad.

"What? Don't you trust me?" Micky asked

"Well, come to think of it..." Peter answered while evading the drummer.

Mike watch the scene unfold from the bandstand. He caught Valerie's attention and motioned towards Peter. She nodded. They would help corner the bass player.

Peter was keeping his sights on Micky. He didn't realize that the other two had moved in the room to be behind him. They tackled him, holding him still. "Aw, come on," he pleaded.

They escorted him to a straight back chair and sat him down. Valerie leaned over and whispered in his ear. Peter looked up at her and asked, "you promise?"

Valerie nodded her head to say yes.
 

Peter changed his negative reaction into positive, "Okay my good man, a haircut please."

Micky and Mike looked at each other then to Valerie. "I promised if he was good boy, I'd take him out for dinner then later we would have a great make out session."

They both looked at Peter with a sleazy smile. Micky went about to get the clothe around Peter and started trimming up Pete's blond hair.

Mike shook his head in regards to the situation and went back to the bandstand.

Valerie told them, "I'll go get changed. Maybe stop by mom and dad's to say hi." She left them to their own and went into Peter's bedroom.


Valerie and Peter walked hand in hand from the car to the front door of the pad. He stopped her short of the door and had her look at him. He moved to kiss her. It was the type that was deep, showing. When he broke it, she knew what he was saying.

Peter told her in words, "I love you Valerie, heart and soul."

"I love you Peter, heart and soul," she answered.

Peter's eyes clouded for a moment, and then said, "We really have a problem here."

"Not now. Peter, please." She looked up at him.
 

Peter could feel her distress. He hugged her. "I'm sorry, Val," he whispered.

Valerie moved out of his embrace and gave him a mischievous grin. "I promised you a night of loving," she told him.

"That you did," he smiled back. Peter tried the door and found it to be locked. He pulled out his keys and unlocked the door. He looked back and noticed that the GTO and the Jeep were not in their parking spaces.

They went into the pad.

Peter turned on the light to the living room. "Anyone home?" he called out, it was very unusual to have the place empty. Peter walked over to Mr. Schneider, their unofficial message board, and found a note in his pocket. Peter pulled the paper out of his breast pocket and read it out loud.


Peter,

We're gone for the night, so you and Valerie have fun. We'll be back by 8 AM.
You two better be done by then.

The guys.

Peter looked up and mouthed 'thank you'. The note was the answer to his prayer.

Valerie came up behind him and hugged him. "Peter, you have some special friends."

"Thank God they didn't give up on me," he answered her. He moved around in her arms, putting his arms around her, lowering his head to kiss her. The kiss was slow, exploring, tasting Valerie's mouth. Peter's hands went to support her head as he tried to find every detail, to see if it compared to his memory.

Peter heard her moan at his assault. He pulled away just enough to whisper, "God, I missed you." He pulled her into his embrace, trying to control his desire to love her there and then in the living room.

He stepped back. "I'll ravage you this minute if I don't watch myself." He smiled at her. "Why don't you put on something more comfortable? I'll make sure things are locked up and such."

Valerie looked up at him and then stood up on the balls of her feet to kiss him on the cheek. "I'll go change. Don't be too long," she whispered.

"Give me a few minutes," he told her as he saw her walk away swaying her hips. She went into his bedroom and closed his door.
 

Peter watched the bedroom door close. He wanted her now but he wanted to savor her. Walking to the back door, he stepped out onto the veranda. As he leaned forward onto the railing, he took a deep breath of the salt air.

Peter looked out into the darkness, listening to the waves. He was lucky. He had good friends, family that loved him, and a girl who loved him. He wanted to possess her totally but knew that couldn't be. "She has goals that she needs to fulfill, just like yourself," Peter told himself out loud. "You were being selfish, blaming her for your weakness." he chided. Peter made a mental note to see about counseling. He wouldn't ask Valerie to stay because of his drinking. It wasn't fair. Peter took another deep breath, letting the sea air refresh him.

Valerie had promised him a night of loving. He wondered if she would let him love her the way he wanted to for the night. So far, their time together had been spent exploring each other's bodies. Peter had more experience, and he had shied away from asking if she would go beyond the usual loving and petting. He knew she trusted him, but he didn't know if she would freak out if he asked her let him be in total control. A smile came upon his face. Passion would be an understatement if he asked her to try and pulled it off.

Peter went back in to the pad, locking the back door behind him.

Peter looked around the pad, thinking on how to get a romantic feeling. Rummaging though a drawer he pulled out a box of candles that they used occasionally for when the power went out. He placed them around the room on furniture to cast a soft glow to the room. Peter looked back into the room at his handy work.



He opened the door to find Valerie finishing redressing. Valerie stood before him dressed in a black ensemble, a black lacy teddy with matching robe. Her hair was brushed out to hang loose over her shoulders.

Peter walked up to her, and kissed her showing his desire. The tension mounted between them, of the sexual desire of each of their needs. Peter moved back and kissed her nose, trying to alleviate the tension between them. Peter then whispered, "I want to savor you." He took her hand and led her into the living room.

"How romantic, Peter," Valerie looked around the room, seeing the candles that Peter had placed to give the room a romantic edge.

"Atmosphere," he commented. "I need to collect a few things." He seemed a little unsure of himself for a moment.

"What is it Peter?" she asked.

Peter looked at her, giving a bashful look. "You promised me a night of loving..."
 

"Yes?" Valerie could feel a question being thought by her friend.

"You trust me?"

"I've always trusted you." She moved towards him and took his hands. "Peter, you have shown and encouraged me. You have never told me how foolish my ideas have been and you have let me explore."

"I want to try a few things tonight."

"I trust you, Peter."

Peter kissed her on the cheek, "I'll be right back."

Valerie watched him disappear into his room. A few minutes later he returned with a box. He kept the box lid closed. In his other hand he had a night blindfold.

He walked over to her and slipped it over her head around her neck to clear her hair then raised it up to cover her eyes. Peter looked down at her, thinking how trusting she was. He held her close to him, he placed light kisses on her cheek. Then he moved away, leaving her to stand by herself in the middle of the pad.

Valerie leaned into him while he held her after placing the blindfold over her eyes. When he moved away, taking her anchor away from her. She stood there, listening to what ever sounds he made in the living room.

She heard the leather of the couch give under his weight. She heard the boot placed on the floor after each other, with a thud that echoed in the room. Then she heard him take off his shirt, the buttons giving him, trouble as usual, that Peter mumbled a swear word. Next came the zipper of his jeans going down. Valerie could visualize in her mind Peter lowering his tight jeans down his lean legs.

Peter returned to her hold her close to him, letting his warmth encompass her. He kissed the shell of her ear, causing the shiver in response. His kisses moved down her neck to her collarbone across to kiss and nip at her pulse points.
Peter pushed the lace robe off her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. He moved to stand behind her. Pulling her back against him, his hands roaming her front as he nuzzled her neck. She tasted as good as he remembered, a lite salty taste that made him crave more.
 

His hands went from cupping her breasts to her apex. Valerie's mind concentrated on the feelings, the pressure of his hands, the sensation of his kisses on her neck.

Peter slipped a strap off her shoulder of her lace teddy, then the other, to slowly lower it down. Soon she stood in only her panties. Peter's hands covered her breasts, rubbing the now hardened nipples. Valerie groaned, feeling the sensations that went from her breasts to her core. She loved it when he played with them.

Peter turned her and kissed her hard, holding her body close to his. Valerie brought her hands to hold his shoulders, deepening the kiss.

Peter lowered her to the psychiatrist couch, covering her body with his. They touched each other in places that they knew would drive them crazy. Finally Peter took off her panties and his boxers. He entered her and was unable keep control of his release soon after.
 

After recovering from his release, Peter told her, "I'm sorry, honey."

"It's okay," she told him. Valerie had been playing with his hair while he lied there, gathering his strength. She had pulled the blindfold down to be able to look at him.

Peter moved a bit in her arms. "I have an idea. If you don't like it, I'll understand."

"What Peter?"

"I want to love you till you beg me to make you come," he told her. " I want to tie your hands up. We have always loved each other at the same time. I want you helpless, letting me love you as I please. To touch you where ever I want."

Valerie thought about it for a moment; their loving was touch-oriented. It would be interesting to have him love her totally without herself participation. "Okay," she told him.

Peter raised himself up on an arm. "You sure?"

She nodded. Peter kissed her tenderly.

"First, put that back on." He pointed to the blindfold. Valerie raised it up over her eyes. Peter had her lay back down on the couch. Peter moved away, standing. Valerie felt the loss of his closeness. She tried to concentrate on his movement, listening for him.
 

Peter returned and sat next to her. "Raise your hand."

Valerie brought up her arm. He wrapped what felt to be a tie around her wrist. He moved her arm to be above her head. He took moved a bit then asked for the other arm. He took her hand and tied it too. Her binding was not tight but she felt naked and exposed.

'Trusting . . . so trusting,' he thought.
 

Peter walked to the kitchen gathering a bowl off the table as he went to the ice box. He brought out a tray of ice cubes and cracked them into the bowl. He returned to the couch laying the bowl down on a nearby table.

Valerie listened to Peter putter around the kitchen and return to move a table and sit something down. She was thinking about the position she put herself in but the thought of having him love her was a thrilling thought.

Peter sat on the side of the couch and ducked down to kiss her. "Okay?" he asked.

"Yes," she answered.

Peter ran his hand along her side and down to her waist and leg, avoiding areas that she had as sensitive zones that he had learned over their relationship. Peter avoided areas that Valerie ached to have touched.

'Peter's playing with me,' she thought in frustration. Peter moved his hand away, leaving her alone again. She heard a "pop," then Peter's hands returned smearing something over her chest and stomach that felt like an oil that was being massaged in. The smell of cherry came to her senses.

"What is that?" she asked.

"Something that will add to your experience,." he told her. Peter moved to lie on top of her, covering her with his body.

He kissed her deeply, plundering her mouth, taking his time. He moved to kiss the shell of her ear, sending chills down her body. He found the first pulse point that he covered with the oil. He licked at it, starting the chain reaction. Valerie's skin warmed, sending tingling sensations through her body.
 

Peter worked his way down her chest, leaving a trail of warming skin. He loved her breasts throughly, licking, kissing, biting little nips.

Valerie groaned, the feelings that were going to her core were driving her crazy. She tried to arch into his mouth but he evaded her. Valerie wanted more. "Peter?" she hissed.

He started moving lower, licking and kissing down her stomach to her belly, lapping at the spats that he had caressed with oil. She thought that he would kiss her center, but he moved to her leg, avoiding her. His hand and mouth loved down one leg up and up the other, caressing her sensitive skin.

He was slowly driving her crazy. She wanted relief yet he avoided her center. His hand was on her inner thigh. She opened them hoping he would get the hint. Still he moved around it, never touching her.

"Peter!" she growled.

She heard him chuckle. "I told you babe. I was going have you begging to come."
 

She felt his weight shift, like he was reaching away from the couch for something. She remembered the sounds he made in the kitchen. As soon as she remembered hearing the ice crack from the tray, he placed something cold against her skin, an ice cube. He ran it around her breasts in circles and down her stomach. Her skin felt hotter, sending awareness to her core once more. 'How could it be,' she thought.

Peter's lips finally returned to suck on her breasts, but it was her core that was demanding to appeased.

"Peter, please." she begged. "I need to be touched. Now," the frustration evident in her voice.

Peter continued his loving of her breasts. Valerie tried to lift her hips up as her head rolled back and forth.

Peter moved his hand over her. She rubbed herself against his fixed hand, yet he didn't move his fingers to help give her the relief she wanted.

Valerie groaned in frustration. Peter moved to kiss her pouting lips. "What do you want?"

Valerie only thought for a moment before the answer she knew he wanted popped into her mind. "I want to come! I want to come hard!"

"Are you ready for it?"

"Yes." she whispered to him. Thinking how agonizingly close she was to the edge.

Then Peter put his fingers to her clit and started working with her. She started shaking immediately, but it was just the beginning. Peter kept a steady rhythm on her clit, while he returned to love her breasts with his lips.

Valerie moved her hips to the tempo that Peter had set, trembling with her need. Then she reached the first of her shattering orgasms. Peter changed the nature of his touching to her clit and kept her coming.

Valerie whimpered and groaned with each new movement that Peter put her through. She lost track of where she had been and where she was going to. Her sense of reality was beyond her, all she could feel was the force that was pulling at her from within.

Last thing she remembered was Peter untying her wrists and carrying her to their bedroom. She was asleep before he laid her down on his bed.


Valerie woke up to hearing the guys rehearsing. She moved to look at the bedside clock, which read 11AM. She laid back on the bed.
 

Last night had been incredible. She gave him the control and he loved her senses were overloaded.

Valerie decided that she couldn't stay in bed all day. She had to get some writing done. 'If the guys are practicing, I'll go to the beach and write my rough draft.' she thought.

Valerie got out of bed, and after finding her robe, went into the bathroom which had a door adjoining the bedroom. After taking a shower, she returned to the bedroom ad found her suitcase. She pulled out the clothes she needed out of the suitcase, a t-shirt, jeans, and underwear, and dressed. She went to the living room to find the guys on the bandstand.
Micky was the first to see her. "It's Sleeping Beauty," he remarked.

Valerie stuck out her tongue as she made her way to the kitchen. She fixed toast and see if there was any cereal left. She heard them talking amongst themselves, not loud enough to be heard. Finally Peter walked into the kitchen.
"You okay?" he asked.

Valerie looked at him with a large smile. "I'm great," she answered.

Peter took her into his arms and held her for a moment. "Sleep well?"

"I don't even remember getting to bed."

"I carried you," he told her. "After I put you to bed, I went back into the living room to snuff out the candles and pick up. Then I sat down with my guitar and started writing. I wrote a song."

Valerie looked up at him with surprise.

"Want to hear it?" he asked.

Valerie nodded yes. Peter took her hand and led her into the living room. Peter sat her down in the overstuffed chair before the bandstand. The guys took their places and started off.

The first word of the song was 'Valerie.'



Davy sang the song, backed with a guitar vibration from Peter and Mike's handy work on his lead guitar.
 

Valerie couldn't believe that they came up with it so quickly.

After the song was over, Micky spoke up. "What do you think?" he asked.
 

Valerie couldn't believe that they had written a song for her. No one had written something for her like that. How she loved their bass player. It reflected the way Peter felt about her. "I love it." She looked at Peter, "You wrote that all just this morning?"

Davy spoke up, "He had the words and melody done before we came home. We sat down and hashed out the background for it and Mike's little number."

Peter looked at her, "Thanks to you. Your trust in me really showed me a few things. I thought how much you had changed in the past two years. How you let me take you places that I love to take you. When I sat down with my guitar it just came to me. Things have changed a lot since we first met."

"I'm not the girl next door?" she teased.

"No, and you do look different now. You've grown up over the last year."

"I have grown up," she agreed with him. Valerie looked at the guys. "Why don't you get some practice in, and I'll see if the Spot needs any entertainment. It would blow Dad's mind if he heard a song written for me."

"A paying gig. I was starting to forget what that was." Mike reminisced.

Valerie stepped up onto the bandstand had gave Peter a kiss on his lips before stepping down again. "I need to get something to eat and get some of my own writing done. I have a paper to write."

She left for the kitchen to start her breakfast. She could hear the guys behind her start discussing what songs they needed to run through for a rehearsal. Valerie smiled to herself. Things seemed to be getting back to normal for them.



Valerie had spent the afternoon on the beach working on her rough draft for her creative writing class. She had changed the subject of her paper from her father's drinking to her relationship with Peter, which was part of turning point of her life. She documented the circumstances of the beginning of their friendship to their relationship and how deep and committed they had become. The words flowed with each example she listed.

Peter came out before dinner. He sat down next to her on the blanket. "How's it going, Poe?" in a kidding voice.

Valerie closed her folder and smiled at him. "Great. I'm more than halfway done with the rough draft."

"What are you writing about?"

"Us," she answered.
 

"Us? I thought that this paper was about a traumatic event in your life?"

"It is. We met under adverse circumstances and been going ever since from on thing to another."

Peter hadn't thought of their time like that, but it had been a roller coaster of emotions.

Peter reached around and hugged her close to him, he had missed being able to hold her while she was working on her paper. He kissed her cheek. He thought for a moment then asked her, "You sure you like your song?" He was still a little wary that he could pull off a good song in such a short time. The guys had told him it was simple, easy and that made a good song.

"Peter, it was great, I loved it. I have something that most girls don't have."

Peter was glad that she loved it. "It was great to sit there and write it. It came so quickly." He was happy. He had his girl and his inspiration. He had been thinking all day about the next step in their relationship. The thought of asking her to marry him was becoming more prevalent.

Peter held her close for a few minutes. Valerie asked him, "Why did you come out here Peter, other than the obvious reason to see me."

"Oh, Mike had sent me out to get you. He's working on getting the burgers together and Micky is helping with the side dishes," he explained.

Valerie stood up, "we better help before Micky poisons us all," she laughed.

Peter joined her and helped with the blanket. He took her hand and they walked back to the house.

The next day...

Peter, Mike and Micky loaded the instruments into the Monkee Mobile and headed over to The Spot. Davy was already away for a morning date with he newest conquest. They wanted set up early so they could enjoy an evening of just playing.
While setting up their instruments and placing their equipment, a thought came through Peter's mind. He immediately stopped and asked Mike and Micky to do the same for a moment.
 

Mike looked at Peter and noticed in his face that had a big question. "Sure, Pete." Mike sat down on the edge of the stage. Micky took his cue from Mike and moved to sit down the edge of the stage also.
 

Peter stood before them. "What would you say if I wanted to ask Valerie to marry me?"
 

Mike smiled. He sensed that this might be the choice that Peter would come to. "I have a question for you. If you ask her to marry you, what about her schooling?"
 

"I don't have to marry her right away. We can get engaged, and she can continue her schooling. I just want the security of knowing that she is there for me," he told them. "The last few months I realized how much she means to me. I can't let her go."

"And she digs you, too, Peter," Micky told him. "You have been in tune with each other. I've been jealous of it myself."

Peter looked at Micky. "Jealous?"
 

"Your relationship. You two have something that I only hope to find."

Mike nodded, "Yeah, before long I guess you two will have that same link that she had with her brother." They all laughed at that. "In all seriousness, I think it would be good to ask her. Just let her know that you don't want to get married right away, but let her know your intentions."

"Thanks guys. I was thinking about this all night. I got no sleep the past two days, but it was worth it."

Mike got up and shook his hand. "Good luck, buddy," he said wit ha smile. He turned back to the stage and declared, "Let's get finished up here so we can head home."

"Yeah, I could use a nap before tonight," Peter said.

"With all the thinking you've done for the last two days, I would think you would be a zombie by now." Micky commented.

"Love makes you get by on less, Micky." he told him.

** ** ** ** **
back at the pad....
 

With Peter, Mike, and Micky out of the house, Valerie worked on her math homework. Her book, writing paper and graph paper where all spread out on the kitchen table. She had been doing well so far in the class, but she had to practice and do the problems.

Davy had gone on a breakfast date with his latest love, Tiffany. He had returned soon after the guys left, completely forgetting that they wanted to set up at the club in the morning. He sat down the couch to watch television.

Valerie got up to get a get another drink. She took three steps and another pain hit her, worse than the others. She dropped the glass, clutching her side.

Davy heard the breaking glass on the floor and ran into the kitchen to see what had happened. He found her clutching her side.
 

"Val?" he asked, "What's wrong?"

"Just . . . help me . . .sit down..." she gasped out. The pain was worse, before it was like a light pinch on the inside, this time, it felt like someone had kicked her hard.

Davy helped her to a chair. The pain eased. Valerie took a deep breath.

"What happened?" Davy asked. He was concerned by the way Valerie was acting and she had turned a white with the pain.
Valerie gave a shrug. "I don't know. The pains started a few months ago, nothing serious like this. I went to a doctor near campus, but he couldn't find anything wrong."

"But it's not right," Davy told her.

Tears came to Valerie's eyes. "I know," she said softly.

Davy hunched in front of her. "I'm scared Davy," she confessed. "They're getting worse. I don't know what's wrong."

Davy gave her a hug. After a few minutes he pulled away. "First thing we need to do is get you to a doctor. Think you can get an appointment?" She nodded. "And what about Peter?"
 

"I don't want to worry him."

"He deserves to know."

"Let's see what the doctor has to say first. I don't know what the problem is."

"Okay, but we can't keep it from him for too long." Davy went and got the phone and put it on the table before her. "Call the doctor. The sooner you see him, the better we will all be."
 

The closest appointment Valerie could make was four days away, on Friday.

Davy didn't like it but it was the best they could do. "Promise me you'll take it easy."

"I promise," she told him.

Davy went to find the broom and wastebasket to clean up the broken glass before the others got home. Davy decided that he would keep a close eye on her.


That night they ate out on their way to the club. Several of Valerie's friends were at the club, having heard that she was in town. She sat with them in a group near the stage. The Monkees came out and played their set, ending with their newly-written song. Valerie's friends kidded her but were happy with the song.

The guys sat with her between sets, talking with her friends. After finishing his drink, Peter excused himself and went in search of Mr. Turner. Valerie tried to see where he went off to but lost him in the crowd. Sighing, she got back into the conversation with the gang.
 

Peter returned ten minutes later and nodded to Mike.
 

The guys got up to return to the stage for the second set. Janet moved to sit next to her. Janet had been a friend in high school and was at the club for the evening with mutual friends.
 

"So tell me, how is school?" Janet asked. Janet still lived at home and worked as a clerk in the family business.

"Tiring, but rewarding. My writing teacher is great, and the assignments are not as dull as they were in high school. I may have something after all."

"You always did. Your high school newspaper column was always unique in its subject. You look for things that are unusual. Remember that article you wrote about the kids' park near school? You had the student body out there on a Saturday morning cleaning it up and getting it back in shape. You make things happen, which is unusual with our age group. We protest for peace, yet I don't see it making a difference."
 

Valerie looked at the stage. Unusual and making a difference, those were good words to define her life. Peter made her feel that she made a difference, and they did make an unusual pair.
 

The guys ran through the second set lineup and finished off with little problems.

They returned home in good time.

Everyone sat down on the couches talking about the performance and then everyday things. Peter changed the subject. Looking to Valerie, Peter commented, "I had a talk with your dad during the break tonight."

"You did? "

"Yeah, I wanted to ask his opinion on something."

"Opinion? This could be scary," she admitted. She moved to look at him. His eyes were smiling, and his face lit up too.

"Peter Tork, what is going on in that mind of yours?"
 

Peter stood up and pulled out a small ring box out of his pocket. "The last two days I thought about this, and then I talked to the guys about it today." he said. He opened the box to reveal a sapphire ring that had been his grandmother's. "I know you have school, but I want to have a clear understanding that you and I will love each other. I want to make it official." He got down on his knee in front of her and asked, "Will you marry me?"
 

Valerie looked down at the ring that Peter held before her, and then at Peter. Tears came to her eyes and the thoughts of how much joy and love she had for him started to come to the surface. "Yes, Peter, I will marry you."

Peter put the ring on her finger, and then kissed her. The others clapped to the acknowledgment.

"You know you have been the only one for me since our first kiss," she told Peter.

"And I've felt your presence deep in my heart since we met," he confessed.

The guys around them started strumming the air like they had violins to add to the love-laden remarks.

Peter and Valerie saw the others doing their impression and start laughing. "Okay, we get the point."

The guys got up and gave them a group hug, making them all tumble to the floor in a heap.

"Of course, if you marry Pete, you marry all of us," Micky announced.

"Why do you say that?" Peter asked.

"You're a Monkee. She has to put up with us." They all started laughing again.

Valerie was the first to sit up. "Life wouldn't be the same without you guys around. I just hope you find the type of girl who is so understanding."
 

"I always thought Peter would be the first of us," Davy said.

"Why do you say that?" Peter asked.

"You're the sensible one. Micky and I will probably be confirmed bachelors, and Mike is looking for the girl of his dreams."
 

"Speak for yourself, Jones," Mike told him.
 

"Well, what is keeping you from asking then?"
 

Mike knew that the answer was known. "Okay, the girl I want I haven't seen yet. Happy?"

Valerie went over to Mike and hugged him. "You'll find her, Mike. Maybe you're looking too hard?"

"Or maybe my standards are too high," he responded.

Davy yawned and looked up at the clock. "It's two in the morning," he announced.

The others hadn't realized how late it was. Suddenly the day's events had caught with them, and they were sleepy.
Micky immediately squawked while flapping his arms, "Cuckoo cuckoo, it's two in the morning, it's two in the morning."

"Everyone to bed," Mike announced in his "in command" voice. Then he looked to Valerie and Peter, offering in a softer tone, "Congratulations."
 

Everyone headed off to their bedrooms and went to bed.


Once behind the bedroom door, Peter took Valerie back into his arms and gave her a passionate kiss. She put her arms around his shoulders and responded to his kiss with warm understanding. She was happy that Peter had taken the step to ask her to marry him. When he pulled back from his kiss he looked down at her. "You're sure?" he asked.

"You're my heart and soul," she responded. Valerie leaned against him. Peter smiled and held her close.

"Peter?" she asked.

"Yes, honey?"

"Can I love you like you did the other night?" Peter looked down at her upturned lips, which showed the pleasure on her face. They had shared equally in their lovemaking, but he taught her the night before that what was good for one, could be good for the other.
 

"Sure, babe." he smiled. "Tell me what you want me to do."

She took his hand and led him into the middle of the room. As she unbuttoned his shirt, she kissed his chest before letting the shirt fall to the floor. She then started to work on his belt. Peter kicked off his boots while Valerie started on the top of the jeans. Soon, he stood naked before her.

Valerie ran her hand over his sides, waist, hip, kissing his skin. She stood before him and looked into his eyes. "I want to love you from head to toe." She had him lay down on his bed and took the center of the room. Slowly she undressed, making sure Peter watched her every move. Valerie gave extra caresses to her curves and places Peter loved to kiss on her. Once she was naked, she held her breasts out, playing with them.

Peter watched her hands caress her skin. He reacted as she hoped. His cock was growing to its fullness.

Valerie found a scarf and came over to him. She took his wrist and tied it, then tied the other. Peter laid on his back, relaxing his arms over his head. Valerie kissed him deeply, with a new hunger. She moved down his body, stopping to play with his sensitive areas that she had found over time. She licked at his side where she had found a ticklish spot as well as the spot on his hip that makes him shiver.

Peter was feeling the full effects of her loving. He needed to get attention to his male member.

Valerie ran her nails over his tender skin causing Peter to buck his hips upwards. "Valerie?" he panted out.

She teased his balls with her hand, still keeping away from his rigid member.

Peter closed his eyes. She was playing like he had. 'What did I show her?' he thought.

Valerie kissed his waist, nipping at the sensitive skin. Peter groaned. "Please, Valerie," his voice shaky with need, "Take me in your mouth." He knew he could move his arms to move her there, but that wasn't the right move, this was her game.

She kissed around his base. His member jumped, knowing she was so close.

"Valerie, this is torture! Take me, take me now!" He was weak; he would admit it. He wanted to complete the act there and now.

Valerie sat up and looked down at Peter seeing that his eyes were closed, his breaths coming short. She moved back to his cock and brought her lips to the tip, kissing it. Peter moaned, wanting more. She brought her tongue into play, licking the sides like an ice cream cone. Then she took him into her mouth, sucking on it like a straw. He had been so close to the edge that he quickly came from her ministrations. He shot long and hard into her mouth, and she tried to swallow every last drop.
Peter's eyes were closed, his breathing trying to calm from the mind blowing orgasm that Valerie gave him. Peter was always being impressed in how Valerie wanted to please him. He may be her first love, but she had an imagination that brought him to new heights.

Valerie moved up to untie his wrists, and bring his arms down to his sides. She laid down beside him, kissing him.

Once he recovered, he turned to his side and looked at her. "I'm glad you like the games."

"They're fun," she admitted.

"It's your turn, you know."

She nodded yes. Peter started kissing her with renewed energy and proceeded to love her to the point that she had done him.

Once they were completely spent, they fell into a restful sleep.


Two days later the guys pack up the car for another gig. They had been called the day before to see if they would be able to fill in for another band that had to drop from the line up at a local hang out.

Mike was pleased. Peter seemed to be back to his old self. It seemed luck shined on them to get a paying gig so soon. Mike took the engagement.
 

Valerie was happy for them. She could feel the vibe of the group coming back together. The guys practiced that evening and again in the afternoon before breaking down the gear.
 

She told them that she needed some time on her own, to work on her homework. She had a paper to finish for history.
Once the guys were gone, Valerie pulled out the books and started to work. She took a break once she completed the rough draft from her notes on the New Deal. She got up to stretch the muscles. She walked out on the veranda to get some fresh air and to listen the waves.
 

After a few minutes she started into the pad. A few steps in the pain hit her. Valerie felt like someone took a knife and stabbed her. She fell to her knees instantly. "Oh god," she cried. She tried to think through the pain. She had to get to the phone. Another wave hit her, "Peter," she cried out, falling into darkness.

** ** ** ** **
The Monkees were playing through their set when Peter felt an odd sensation. From that point on he was preoccupied with the thought of Valerie. He played through the set but each of the guys saw that something was different. Peter sang and played like on automatic pilot, his bounce was missing.

Once they got off the stage Peter went looking for a phone. He dialed the pad, "come on babe, answer the phone. Let me know you are alright." The phone rang, no one answered.

Peter hung up the phone. He had to get back to the pad.

Peter came up to the guys, "we got to get home. Now."

Mike saw something in Peter's eyes. Mike didn't challenge Peter's request. "We'll get our stuff later. Come on guys."

The four Monkees headed as quickly as they could home.

** ** ** ** **

Once Mike parked the car, Peter was out of the car, heading to the door. He had his key in the lock and opened the door.
He saw her immediately, laying on the floor. "Valerie!" He dropped beside her. He turned her carefully onto her back. She was breathing. He took her pulse and found it erratic.
 

Micky had followed closely behind and saw her on the floor. He moved off to call for an ambulance.

Mike and Davy came in and found Peter over Valerie.

Davy went up to Peter. "Peter?"

"She's breathing, she's unconscious. I felt something odd, I don't know."

"Peter, I have to tell you something." Peter looked over this his friend. "She's been having pain's. She had an attack the other day." Peter looked down at her. "She made an appointment to see the doctor. She was going tomorrow."

Micky came over to them. "The ambulance is on the way. Mike is calling her parents now."

Peter held her hand, trying to will her to wake up.

Soon they heard the siren of the ambulance.


Slowly Valerie gained awareness. She heard strange noises, a constant beep. She heard different snores that she knew belonged to Mike, Micky and Peter. She opened her eyes to see that she was in a strange room. She looked to see one hand had an iv taped in place, her other hand was held by Peter who was sleeping with his head on folded arms.

Mike was sleeping in a tall chair on the other side of the bed from Peter. Micky was asleep in the corner of the room, leaning back against a wall.
 

'Why am I here?' she thought. Then she started to remember, another pain had come to her and it was the worst one she ever had. She had passed out.

She moved her hand that was held by Peter. Instantly Peter moved and sat up, wincing with the quick movement, his back aching for awkward position.

"Valerie?" he asked, making sure it was not a imaginary movement.

She nodded. "What happened?' she asked quietly.

"Apparently you had a spell so bad that you blacked out from the pain."

"Peter..."

Peter put both hands around hers. "Davy told me about the attacks." he told her. "The doctors ran some tests. I don't know anything yet."

Mike woke to hearing someone talk. He shifted in his chair and saw that Valerie was awake. He got up and stretched his lanky form. He came over and sat on the edge of the bed.

"How are you feeling?"

Valerie did a mental check and found nothing odd. "Fine," she answered. She noticed that Davy was missing. "Where's Davy?"

"Seems that he is able to calm down your mother," Mike chuckled. "Apparently his British accent soothes her."

"She has a thing for Brits," Valerie agreed.

Mike got up. "I'll go tell you parents that you are up and see if the doctor has found anything." He gave a pat on Peter's shoulder and headed out the door.

Peter brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it. "We are soul mates," he told her. She gave him a quizzical look. "I felt you. When you needed me, I knew it. We came home as soon as we could."

Valerie smiled. "We connect," she announced.

"More ways than one."

** ** ** ** **

Mike found Valerie's parents and Davy in the cafeteria. "She's up," he announced. "Have you seen the doctor yet?"

Valerie's father shook his head, "Doctor Green is supposed to be in at ten to review the tests they ran on her last night. We should know something after that."

Mike nodded. They had a few more hours to go to hopefully finding out what was wrong with Valerie. Mike had already spent part of the night doing what if's. If something was serious with Valerie, he didn't know how Peter would handle it. But he would have to wait to see.
 

Mr. Thompson saw the thoughts pass Mike's face. "What's wrong Mike?"

"Just thinking. We don't know how serious this is, but I'm worried for Peter."

He nodded in understanding. "We'll know more soon."

Davy thought about that all night. If Valerie was seriously ill, they would have to rally their friendship together to help Peter in whatever way.

** ** ** ** **
At noon the doctor called a conference with Valerie's parents and the boys. Sitting in a conference room, around a table the doctor gave them the news.

"Terminal cancer," he announced. "The pain was a warning sign. Now it is in the next stage."

Peter thought, terminal, then asked, "It's already spread?"

"Afraid so. The x-rays show that it has spread."

"What are her options?" Mr. Thompson asked.

"She could do treatment, but I think she is to far along to make it a feasible idea. She has a few months left."

Mike looked at Peter and saw him ashen. Everyone looked at Peter and saw it. Mr. Thompson got up and went to Peter.
"Don't fall apart on me now son." he told the young man. "My daughter needs you. Knowing her, she will choose to live. And you have to be her rock while she does that."

Peter nodded.

Later that day the doctor told Valerie what he knew. Peter was there to console her and hold her. For the night she wouldn't let go of him. She kept thinking all the possibilities. She wasn't ready to die, to leave Peter. By morning she as thinking more rationally and talked to Peter.

"I won't go back to school," she told him. "I want to spend as much time with you." Then she looked at her ring. "What do you want to do about..."
 

"I still want to marry you."
 

"When?" she asked him.
 

"You tell me." he said in a sweet quiet voice.
 

"Four weeks." she announced.
 

Peter agreed, "four weeks."

Upon Valerie's released from the hospital, plans were quickly worked out for the wedding. They had decided on a simple wedding.

In the pad, Davy moved in with Mike and Micky permanently. Valerie helped around the pad, picking up and doing a bit of the cooking. She became a part of the group.

The wedding ceremony was in a small chapel not far from the beach.
 

Valerie had spent the night before the wedding with her parents. It gave her some quiet time with her parents who had been through so much in the last two years. They liked Peter and knew that their daughter was loved.

The morning of the wedding, Peter woke early. He dressed in shorts and a t shirt. He went out onto the veranda to watch the waves.

Mike came out soon after, sitting down next to Peter. Mike looked out on to the waves like his friend.

"Okay?" Mike asked quietly after sitting there a few minutes.

Peter looked at Mike with sad filled eyes. "I love her so much it hurts Mike. To think in the close future, she'll..." He couldn't finish it. No one in the pad had spoken about the future.

"I know man. To look at her, no one could say that she is dying. But she doesn't want to bring us down with it. She wants to live. Like today. It's a celebration." Mike went on to emphasize a point, "Peter, you are lucky buddy. You met your soul mate."

Peter put his head down in his hands. "But I'm going to lose her. How am I going to go on without her? Look what I did when I didn't see her for 3 months? I drank myself to a stupor."

"That's why you have us Peter. We'll help you through it."

Peter looked up at him. Tears coming to his eyes. Mike pulled him into his arms. "It's going to be okay. Love her now Peter. Take the gift she is offering you."
** ** ** ** **

Valerie sat in side room at the chapel. She had dressed in her mother's dress, a white chiffon that flowed around her. She had her hair done with a few small braids to keep it out of her face. The rest of her hair flowed to her shoulders. When she went to the full length mirror she laughed at herself. "I look like an angel." she mused.

A knock came to the door. "Who is it?" she called out.

"Mike."

"Come in."

Mike was dressed in a tux, he was Pete's best man. He wanted to talk to Valerie for a few minutes. Valerie stood up and turned to look at him. Mike stopped in his tracks. He couldn't help but give a whistle to how good she looked.

Valerie blushed a little, "thanks."

"Valerie, I think I'm going to have to pick Peter up when he sees you in that."
 

Valerie laughed again. It felt good to laugh. They hadn't done much of that around the pad, everyone to scared that they would say or do the wrong thing..
 

Mike walked over to her. He felt uneasy but wanted to say a few things. He could never find the right time to talk her. He cleared his throat and started what he wanted to say. "Valerie. We met almost two years ago. I always felt something towards you, like a big brother type of thing. Then last summer, when Anthony was killed, I sort of taken the roll on for real. I know with the last few weeks things have become harried. I just wanted you to know if you ever need someone to talk to or need. I'm there for you. As I will be there for Peter." He added, "We talked this morning."

Valerie moved to hug Mike. "I keep thinking is it right to do this, to marry. Maybe I should just leave..."

Mike pulled her back to look at her, the Texas flare coming through. "Don't you even say it." Mike said quickly. "Peter loves you. He would be more hurt if you left. He would be worried literally sick thinking about you. At least this way he can hold you a little longer. To love you and make memories that he can keep with him forever."

Something dawned on Valerie. "You know don't you? The wanting to hold on to someone."

Mike hugged her to him. "I know what it is to not know what it would have been. Mary and I had only met, not long after I was sixteen. We made love under the stars on her daddy's farm. I knew she was the one. Soon after, she was in a car wreck." Mike held her close for a moment then continued, "I won't let you or Peter back out of this. I know what it is like not to have the memories of what could have been. I'll handle Peter when the time comes. Just give him what he needs. He needs your love."

** ** ** **
Mike stood behind Peter at the alter. Valerie was escorted by Micky and Davy. There were a handful of guests for the ceremony, close friends and relatives.

When Peter first saw Valerie he took a deep gulp of air. "Easy buddy," Mike told him from behind.

"She's beautiful," Peter remarked.

"And all yours buddy."

Valerie stood before Peter, Micky and Davy were replaced by her father.

With the exchanging of vows. Peter gave her the kiss of their union, bittersweet as it was. Valerie touched his cheek. "I love you Peter Tork."
 

"I love you Valerie Tork," he replied.

Seven months later.....

Valerie woke up before Peter. She felt tired but couldn't sleep anymore. Slowly she got out of bed and dressed quietly so not to wake him. She went out into the living room to let him sleep.

Sitting at the table she thumbed through her journal. It was the book that told of her time with Peter and the gang. Last night she felt something different, she couldn't explain it but she knew the time was coming. She felt tired. Valerie opened the journal to a fresh page and started writing. She started writing a letter to Peter.

My dear love,.....

** ** **

Peter woke up without Valerie in the room. He dressed quickly and went out to find her. He found her sitting at the kitchen table writing in her book. He came up behind her, laying his hands on her shoulders. "Morning dear."

"Morning love." She turned to get his kiss. Every morning they woke to this, their love.

Peter poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table. "What are you working on?"

"My ending page of my journal to give to you."

Peter looked at her in surprise. "Valerie? What's wrong?" He moved to be by her side.

Valerie turned to look at Peter. "It's coming Peter. I wanted to write a letter to you and give you this book. It's about our entire time together. I want you to keep it close to you and remember how much I love you."

Peter took her in his arms. The time was now fast approaching and he was helpless.

"Peter?" she asked.

"Yes?"

"Can you make breakfast then we can get a few things done this morning? I want to see mom and dad for a little while."

"Sure honey." He kissed her then went to work on making breakfast for the gang. He knew once the sound of bacon sizzling in the skillet, the guys would wake up.
 

** ** ** ** **
 

That evening Peter and Valerie cuddled on the sofa watching the tv. Davy had gone out on a date and Micky went clubbing with some friends. Mike was the only other home and he was at the kitchen table working on bills.

Valerie fell asleep in Peter's arms. Peter picked her up and took her to bed. She had spent much time out today. She spent the late morning with her parents then convinced him to go for a ride on her horse at the farm.

He laid her down on their bed and drew up the covers. He kissed her forehead and told her he loved her. Peter returned to the living room.

"Okay Pete?" Mike asked.

Peter sat down at the table across from him. "No. She told me this morning she felt different. She basically spent time today with her parents because it's probably her last time."

Mike looked at Peter, concern flooding his eyes. "How are you doing?"

Peter shrugged, "I'm here." Peter got up and headed towards the bandstand. He picked up a guitar and started strumming it.

Mike followed and picked up his guitar. They played for sometime, playing their own songs then other groups material.
When Peter looked up at the clock, it showed that it was one in the morning. "A bit late for the guys," he commented.

"Davy stays out till dawn sometimes. Micky will be home soon," Mike answered. As big brother of the group, he had come to know the habits of the family.

Peter got up, giving a yawn. "I better hit the bed. I want to have a special day with my girl."

"Night Pete."

Peter went into his bedroom only to come out a few minutes later. "Mike..." he squeaked out before fainting.

** ** ** **

The pastor stood before the casket for the grave side sermon. The guys stood beside Peter, giving him their strength that he needed to make it through.

Mike thought back reviewing the past three days. He could only remember Peter saying 'Mike' as his only verbal contact with anyone. That night Mike had made him comfortable on the couch after he had called for the emergency crew. Micky was home when the coroner arrived and helped get Peter up to their room.

Peter slept in a fitful sleep all during the day. Each of the guys taking turns watching their friend, being there in case he needed them.

Peter had come down the next day and found Valerie's journal. He took it out to sit on the beach and read through the book. The guys took vigil to watching him from the veranda.

Now they sat listening to a gentleman talk about how life begins anew for those she left behind. "To take her touch and make it blossom." Peter stared ahead, seemingly not noticing the casket before him.
 

Mike moved to hold Peter's hand. Peter felt the touch and looked down at his hand linked with Mike's. He moved his gaze from his hand up Mike's arm to look at his face. Mike mouthed, "hang in there shot gun."
 

Peter looked straight ahead again. Finally feeling the warmth from Mike's hand penetrate his cold body.

** ** ** **
After the friends left the gathering, Peter stood before the grave. Mike stood nearby while Micky and Davy retreated to the car. Mike told him to say goodbye.

Peter went to his knees and fingered the name Valerie Tork on the grave stone.

"How can I go on without you?" he asked into the air. "You were my heart and soul. I can't see beyond now," he confessed.

"You told me that I had to go on when this time came. But how?" Peter cried. "I loved you damn it." Peter drove his fists into the ground. "I loved your laugh. You loved me with so much love and trust. You trusted me. I trusted you."

For a few minutes Peter cried. His body visibly shook with his grief.

Mike approached him seeing that Peter was easing in his crying. "Come on Pete. It's time to go home."

Peter nodded. He looked at the grave stone once more, then looked up. "Valerie Tork. I love you heart and soul. Don't you ever forget that." With Mike's help he stood.

They walked slowly to the car and left the cemetery.
 

25 years later....
 

Two teenagers were going through the attic. They were visiting their father for the weekend and wanted to look for costumes for Halloween. "I think that I have a trunk or two up in the attic. Go take a look," he told them.
 

Hallie and Ivan were hunting among boxes looking for clothes. They came across a box that was marked "Valerie." Being curious kids, they looked in the box. Inside were several notebooks, and a scrap book of pictures. Opening the scrapbook they found pictures of their dad that they had never seen.
 

"I never seen dad smile like that," Hallie commented

Looking at the notebooks in the box, they found a journal. Flipping through it, they realized that she loved their dad very much. Then the last filled out page started out, My dear love.
Hallie read it out loud.

Here is a book that tells of our time together. From our first meeting to our last parting. I love you Peter with everything I have. I would not trade my last two years for anything. Keep this close to you. Remember me and never forget that you can be strong. Show the world what you are made of. Let your heart sing for it is your true vocation. Thank you for sharing your world with me and taking me to places I never dreamed of. I love you heart and soul.

Your wife,
Valerie.

The two looked at each other. "Valerie?" they asked each other

"Dad was married before your mom?" Ivan asked.

They put the books back in the box and took them downstairs.

Over the years, the Monkees dissolved for fifteens years. Peter did odd jobs and married twice, having a child from each marriage. Peter wasn't able to hold his marriages together, much less keep a job longer than a few years. Yet, he did always play music in some form. But he was always searching, 'restless' his first ex-wife told him.

The kids came down with the box and put it on the kitchen table. "Dad?" they called out.

"In the study," he answered.

They brought the box with them and sat it on the desk. Peter saw the box with Valerie written across it.

"Who is she?" they asked.

Peter took his glasses off. 'His past,' he thought to himself, but answered, "My first wife."

"Show us a picture." Hallie asked. Peter took the scrap book and thumbed through the first few pictures. He stopped at a picture he had taken of her on the beach by the pad.

Hallie looked at the blond girl. "Dad, she's pretty."
 

"Yes she was," he said softly.

"What happened?"

"She died of cancer."

"Is that why you are always restless? Looking?" Ivan asked.

"Where did you get that from?"

"Mom always said that you seem to be looking for something. Something that you lost."

Peter thought it was very astute of his second wife to say that. He would have to complement her on that.

"You heard that you find your soul mate just once." They nodded. "Valerie was my soul mate."

"The song you and Uncle Mike, Davy, and Micky sing. Valerie, it's her?"

Peter nodded. "Yes, we wrote it for her."

After a few minutes, Peter asked them, "Did you find anything to wear?"

"Whoops, forgot to look after finding this," Hallie answered

"Better get up there before you lose the extra light."

They went back upstairs leaving Peter to face his past. He picked up the journal and started reading through it.

Peter sat down at his desk and opened the journal. He read through Valerie's account of how they had first met, how the bass player took the time to reassure her that she was okay and it okay to feel.
 

Peter began to realize that the last 25 years he hadn't let himself feel, that it wasn't okay to feel. He had been searching for something, but he never felt anything. Peter continued to glance through the pages. He stopped a read more about the time Valerie decided that she want to make love. She talked with him, about her dreams, of being loved.

Peter remembered that night, her first time to be touched by a man. Peter looked down to see his hand tremble with the memory, of touching her till she came to her first orgasm. It hurt thinking he couldn't touch her soft skin, to taste that salty taste that was all her own. He had never had the same experience with anyone else. He didn't care deeply enough, not even for either of his ex-wives.

Scanning again through the journal, he read about her nightmare. The loss of her brother that sent her into shock.
Closing the journal, he couldn't read anymore. Putting his head in his hands, he felt the same despair that he had felt 25 years earlier. How could he go on without her. Thinking back over his life, it had been hard . He had gone through drug abuse and alcoholism. He had married twice trying to find the love, security and trust that he with Valerie. He never found it. He had wonderful kids from the marriages, but he couldn't keep it together enough for them or himself.
He went from job to job, trying to find something that he could take to heart. The only thing he could take to heart was music. He had been happy when the guys wanted to start playing again. They did club dates from time to time.

Peter looked up to see the scrap book. He opened it and lingered on a page that had Valerie. Touching the face, outlining it's features, he thought he could hear her laugh. Tears came to his eyes. "I've been so lost without you."



Peter flew to Los Angeles. He called Mike up that night, from his home in Connecticut, and told him what the kids had found. Mike met him at the airport and drove him to the cemetery. Mike stayed by the car while Peter made his way to the marker.
 

Peter stood before the grave that had been neglected for far to long by him. Peter brought with him a bundle of flowers. "To add color for a colorful person," he said as he placed them beside the marker. He crouched beside the grave, touching the name, Valerie Tork.

"I'm so sorry Valerie," he said with much emotion. "I have been trying to find myself for over twenty years and it took my children to point me in the right direction. I miss you everyday. I think how we would have been. I tried to find someone like you. Married twice and divorced twice. But I have two lovely children.

"Valerie, I think I found myself finally. Please forgive me?"

Peter stood up and said a prayer.

A hand touched his shoulder and he heard in his ear, "thank you for coming home. I love you Peter, heart and soul."

** ** ** ** **

A month later at Mike's house the guys were working on planning a small tour to play their music. Peter looked the best he had in a long time to the guys memories.

Davy commented to the fact that Peter had a smile that he hadn't seen for a long time. "You know, the one that you would flash to Valerie when she was around."
 

Peter nodded and told them that he had visited her grave and he was finally at peace with himself.

Micky gave Peter a hug admitting that he wished he had found such a girl like her. "We were all lucky to have been touched by her."

They all agreed. The guys went to their instruments and started playing "Valerie."

 

** ** **

Peter looked at the schedule he had for the day. He had two radio stations to interview at for Blue Suede Shoes. They were playing at a few clubs in town over the next week and publicity was what their agent wanted.

"I remember in the Monkees, once we hit it big, going from station to station doing the same thing." Peter remarked to his colleague, Tadg.

Tadg and Peter were taking a car to the first radio station and then taking a ride to the other with a reporter for a weekly folio. She would get a few questions in and then sit in on the next interview.

At the first radio station, which played oldies. The questions surrounded his time with the Monkees. Peter was patient with his answers, answering the same old questions with the same old lines. Tadg and Peter sang two songs at the studio then got ready for their trip to the next station.

They went to the lobby in the elevator and waited to be met by the reporter.

"What's her name?" Peter asked.

Tadg pulled out his itinerary and looked up the name. "Says her name is Valerie Smithfield."

Peter adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose. He hated interviews but it was a chore that had to be done.

A woman walked over to them. Peter wasn't watching, he listened to her as she introduced herself to Tadg "Hi, I'm Valerie. Thanks for adding me onto your schedule."

"Glad to have you along." Tadg smiled. He knew he had to work the media, it was the rule of entertainment.

Valerie explained to them about her last minute addition. "When they said that Blue Suede Shoes was in town, I had to catch up with you. I've been a fan of Peter's since I was a kid."

"Sounds like another Monkee fan Pete." Tadge dug in.

Peter nodded his head. 'The legacy that never dies.' Peter chided himself. Then something came through his thoughts. Where had heard that voice before. He turned around and nearly fainted on the spot; that face, hair, voice, it was *his* Valerie.
 

"Peter, you okay?" Tadg asked. "You look like you seen a ghost."

Peter took a deep breath and look at the reporter. "I have a very odd question."

"Ask away." she told him.

"When were you born?"

"October 25, 1967. Why do you ask?"

The day Valerie had passed away. Could it be her? Peter had to ask "Do you believe in souls being reborn?"

**So once more, heart and soul, a soul mate is found.**



~~ the end, or is it just a new beginning? ~~

@ 2005 Tommy Boy fan fiction * design and content by Paula C. *