Low
Blair has left the loft and Jim is realizing
what he is truly feeling
Then :
Echoes that haunt the loft
"I want you out of the loft now!"
Jim would have to learn to live with that statement that he had told his Guide
and friend after learning that Blair's dissertation was being published.
Now:
Two months later after the press conference:
Jim walked into the loft. It was quiet, like it had been the last two months.
Dropping his keys into the basket, remembering that it was a habit he had
learned to get into because of his roommate. Man how things changed then, and
how things had changed now.
Hanging his winter coat on the peg, he headed to the kitchen. He needed a
drink. He pulled out a cold beer out of the fridge, flipping the cap off and
flicking it to the garbage can to join the rest of the caps that were
accumulating.
Not bothering to find any dinner, Jim went to the living room and sat down on
the couch, letting the weariness of the day sag off his shoulders.
Man he missed Blair. Why did he tell him to go? Why did he let his old
insecurities get the best of him, again? Why did he have to tell the people who
tried to love him, to leave?
Simple answer to that one; because he was scared, scared of what people thought
of him, what the public thought of him if they knew what had been told to them
was a lie was really the truth. He was a sentinel, a man with heightened
senses. He could smell what other’s couldn’t, hear far away conversations, taste
every ingredient he ate, felt the individual grooves on a surface, and see small
print of a book hundred of yards away.
Blair had brought it to the forefront and he had gotten scared. And being the
man he was, Jim threw him out, again.
Sitting back he closed his eyes. His head hurt, a dull throb that had never
quite left since Blair himself had left the loft, there was no more grounding
heartbeat to keep him settled.
Jim reached forward and found the entertainment remote and hit the stereo
button, turning on the radio. The silence was the worst thing for him; with
having Blair in his life he had learned now what a precious music it had been to
his ears.
*And now for the follow up hit by American Idol winner Kelly Clarkson, Low*
Jim closed his eyes and brought the beer to his lips, drinking in the cold
bitter liquid.
Everybody’s talking
But they don’t say a thing
They look at me with sad eyes
But I don’t want their sympathy
It’s cool you didn’t want me
Sometimes you can’t go back
By why’d you have to go
And make a mess like that
Well I just have say before I let go
Jim could see Blair in his mind's eye. Why did he go? Why didn't he fight with
him to stay home? This was his home. He knew that.
The dissertation mess, Blair did the only he could do. How much did he
sacrifice for him? His whole life's work, gone. Yes, Blair how could make a
mess like that.
Have you ever been low
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know
Were you left out in the cold
‘Cause what you did was low
Yes, I have let a friend down. I let you down. You didn't let the truth come
out but in the end you were left out in the cold. You left your home. You left
me, your best friend. Maybe I was the last to know.
No I don’t need your number
There’s nothing left to say
‘Cept I never thought it’d
Hurt this much to be saved
My friends are outside waiting
I’ve gotta go
The day you left you told me you turned off your cell phone, you had no money to
keep it.
You looked at me with those sad blue eyes, like there was nothing left. Was
there anything left? I wonder sometimes.
I heard the honk of the horn; you had a friend taking you to the bus station.
One of the few people that still talked to you.
Don't go, please don't go.
Have you ever been low
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know
Were you left out in the cold
‘Cause what you did was low
I walk out of this darkness
With no sense of regret
And I go with a clear conscience
We both know that you can’t say that
This to show for all the time I loved you so
Have you ever been low
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know
Were you left out in the cold
‘Cause what you did was low
The song ended and went onto another selection but Jim remained still,
remembering the song's lyrics.
Cold. Sandburg was out in the cold. Jim shook his head. How Blair hated the
cold. Maybe he went to warmer climates. I don't know. Where did you go?
How could I be so low?
Low
(Jimmy Harry)
© EMI Virgin Music, Inc./Whorga Music (ASCAP)
Everybody’s talking
But they don’t say a thing
They look at me with sad eyes
But I don’t want their sympathy
It’s cool you didn’t want me
Sometimes you can’t go back
By why’d you have to go
And make a mess like that
Well I just have say before I let go
Have you ever been low
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know
Were you left out in the cold
‘Cause what you did was low
No I don’t need your number
There’s nothing left to say
‘Cept I never thought it’d
Hurt this much to be saved
My friends are outside waiting
I’ve gotta go
Have you ever been low
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know
Were you left out in the cold
‘Cause what you did was low
I walk out of this darkness
With no sense of regret
And I go with a clear conscience
We both know that you can’t say that
This to show for all the time I loved you so
Have you ever been low
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know
Were you left out in the cold
‘Cause what you did was low
@ 2005 Tommy Boy fan fiction * design and content by Paula C. *