Secrets

Dreams haunt the living, Illya knew that all to well, he lived them
every night when not busied by a case.  Napoleon never knew, knew his
secrets.  He never shared them with his lover, his partner.
Memories of his youth haunted him.  He remembered the cold, the
gunpowder that hung in the air, and the hunger.  Even now, in memory,
his stomach rumbled in the bed, having been filled by a full meal, it
remembered the days passing on root and water alone.

Illya moved in the bed to stand up, to pull away from his lovers
heat.  Why he didn't stay in the warmth of Napoleons arms was beyond
him.  He felt cold; his fingers were like ice.

Why does this haunt him so.  He was happy; he was loved.   `Why now?'
he asked himself.

He walked to the living room and found his bottle of Vodka.  `A
drink,' he reasoned would settle his nerves.  ~ a drink to make you
forget ~

Standing at the large window, looking out over the city, he failed to
notice Napoleon approach.

Napoleon came up behind him and wrapped his arms around him.  "I was
going to ask you why you were out of bed.   But by the coolness of
your skin, I should ask, what is the matter?"

Illya could not answer him; the secret was his past, the horrors that
he endured, long ago.  "I can't," Illya stammered.

"Illya, you can.  I'm here for you."

"You weren't there." Illya let slip, he moved out of Napoleon's arms.

"I wasn't where?"  Napoleon's voice grew sharp.

"It's nothing Napoleon, please let's go back to bed." He tried to
pull Napoleon from his spot but he did not budge.

"I wasn't where?" he asked again.

Illya stepped to Napoleon and kissed his cheek then wrapped his arms
around him.  "A long time ago, when I could of used a friend like
you.  Where were not there." 

Napoleon pulled Illya closer to him.  "No more secrets, nothing will
make me let you go.  I love you."

Illya buried rubbed his cheek against Napoleon's shoulder.  "Not now,
please Napoleon, just love me."

"You'll tell me more later."

"I'll tell you everything, but not now."

Napoleon raised Illya's head to look at him, "That is a promise?"

"I promise."

Then Napoleon moved, to return to their bedroom, to again show his
love to his chosen partner. 

@ 2005 Tommy Boy fan fiction * design and content by Paula C. *