Angel’s P.O.V.

~There he is. He looks good. Keeping himself up these days, I see. I think I was about to break the sound barrier on the freeway. Oh well, nobody hurt, nobody dead. No harm, no foul. He’s drinking. He doesn’t look pleased. He’s probably pissed that he had to come all this way, just over some stupid dream his lame excuse for a Sire had. I shouldn’t have asked to see him. I should just go and let him off the hook. Tell him thanks for coming, buy him a drink – and let him head back to… whatever he’s got going on in Sunnydale.~

“Hi.”

~Once again with the scintillating openers.~

“Angel…”

~Smile… God, the boy could melt the polar caps with that grin.~

“Thanks for coming.”

~Doo bee doo bee doo… I could’ve just said ‘showing up’.~

“S’nothin’. Have a seat.”

~Why is he so nonchalant… comfortable in his own skin? Isn’t he having any internal battle over this? Oh. That’s just me. Brood guy. I’ve been called worse.~

“Thanks – Bloody Mary?”

~I hope he didn’t drain the bartender.~

“Don’t get me started… Want somethin’?”

~I am NOT going there. That’s all I need right now… start sounding like some perverted old fuck sitting outside a school yard. ‘Ya want a piece of candy, little boy?’ Shhhh… baby steps.~

“I could use a drink…”

~Yep, I could REALLY use a drink right now. I’m not socially inept, I can do this.~

“What’s yer poison these days?”

~Cool, calm, collected. Fuck him. I’m torn between wanting to bend him over, and wanting to unload a hundred years worth of guilt, frustration and angst on a pair of ears that understand me… and he gets to sit back like the fortunate son, looking like he hasn’t got a care in the world.~

“Bloody Mary sounds good.”

~The bloodier, the better.~

“Yer not kiddin’.”

~What?~

“Hi, I’m Mary – can I get you something?”

~Oh.~

“Yeah, I’ll have what he’s having.”

~A Bloody Mary sandwich… I’m in back, he can have the front, drink our fill… Ahh, the old days.~

“You got it.”

~Yeah, I do… right between my - ~

“Can I just say I’m the luckiest waitress today? I mean – I usually get the geriatric crowd.”

~I hazard a glance at my boy – we share a knowing grin. Tension easing – this might work out.~

“I’m flattered, thanks.”

~Wonder if he knows how much I still think about old times? Contrary to popular belief – Cordelia – I am not a eunuch. I still have thoughts, I still have urges. I’m very aware of the demon living under my skin. I just happen to have an abundance of restraint. A ton of it. A virtual cornucopia of restraint.~

“So how’s tricks, Angel?”

~Restraint – my middle name is restraint. Angel Restraint Vampire Detective.~

“Alright, I guess. It’s good to see you again.”

~Without the pokers. You don’t have pokers, do you?~

“S’good to see you too, luv.”

~Yeah… yeah… pleasantries aside, let’s get back to those pokers…~

“You look well.”

~ Black denim painted over the most succulent muscular thighs this side of the Pacific… wait… pokers… pokers… Oh… patented smirk. Boy’s got it, he knows it.~

“You’re lookin’ good yerself, there ducks. Dark Avenger gig suits you.”

~Was that a compliment? Bloody Mary’s here – oh no… sensory overload.~

“Take these up to the room?”

~I raise my glass at him, he nods with an amused grin.~

Spike’s P.O.V.

“Nice…”

~I remember when we used to stay in the finest hotels, an’ eat the help. Looks like Batman’s run into a bit of dosh.~

“Yeah.”

~I wish he’d jes’ relax, an’ go with it… for once. In any incarnation, this bloke’s a tight arse. Water tight… air tight… what’s the sayin’?~

“So… Chatty Kathy… Sit down… let’s talk.”

~Well, he was jes’ starin’ at me… I had to break the ice somehow, didn’t I?~

“Sure… on the couch?”

~No, Einstein, let’s jes’ skip straight to the part where ya got yer Johnny up me arse.~

“Look’s as good a place as any.”

~That’s it… settle in… get comfortable. Now go on, tell Uncle Spike all yer worries.~

“I went to another dimension.”

~There ya go.~

“Really?”

~Say too much, an’ he’ll clam up.~

“Pylea. Lorne’s home plane.”

~An’ I’m s’posed to know who Lorne is?~

“New bloke in yer life?”

~Unlife, whatever… that came out a bit… jealous…~

“No… No… Nothing like that. He’s the Host… runs a karaoke bar… I saw my reflection there.”

~No shit?~

“At the bar?”

“No… in Pylea… and I could walk in the sunlig…”

~Must’ve been incred… oh… the dream. Right. Keep goin’ Angel… I’m right here.~

“So ya had a good time, then?”

~I’ll jes’ put me hand on his. He doesn’t have to talk about it… I’m acknowledgin’ the UV rays.~

“Sort of. Brought a girl back. Spike?”

~What? I was bein’ comfortin’… doin’ me part.~

“I don’t really want to talk about this.”

“That’s fair. What ya wanna talk about, then?”

~Well, he brought it up!~

“Look – I’m sorry…”

~Oh don’t start with this… I didn’t come here for yer pity. I’m fine. Yer fine. We’re all fine. Everythin’ is bleedin’ fine. Bugger.~

“Ya don’t have to apologize, Angel. I’m here, the dream wasn’t real. Everything’s alright.”

~Oh… his fingers just laced in mine. He’s squeezin’ ’em a bit. Cor… I forgot how big his hands are.~

“It just felt like one of those symbolic ones. Like when Penn came.”

~Fucker. God damned Prick. I pull me hand away. Fuck you, Angel.~

“Why.”

~No – I’m not askin, pillock, I’m demandin’.~

“I didn’t do it, Spike. I just wanted to stop him. It had to end.”

~Fuck you. REMEMBER HIM! Sorry son-of-a-bitch… Ya jes’ don’t get to run around killin’ yer childer. Sick fuck.~

“I felt ’im go. Yanno that? Dru did too.”

~Yeah… brood on that one, ya fat arsed git.~

“What do you want me to say?”

~That you fucked up.~

“That I fucked up?”

~Yes.~

“That I was trying to get him to stop, and it got out of hand. That other factors were involved. That when it happened, I felt like part of my soul died. That his dust settled all over me… all over me! That I couldn’t get out of bed for two weeks. That I never washed him off. That I never washed the sheets that held his ashes? I keep them in a locked box in my room. Is that what you want me to say?”

“You remember his smile?”

~You’d better.~

“God Will – how could I forget?”

~Good. Let it haunt you.~

“Well, that’s what I saw. An’ then blindin’ light hit me in the middle o’ me chest. Felt like my insides were bein’ ripped out through me rib cage. An’ Dru is doubled over on the floor, grippin’ at her dress, an’ she’s screamin’ fer Penn… an’ then I realize – it’s not only her voice screamin’. It was mine, too.”

~He’s got his head in his hands. Good. I know it wasn’t supposed to be this way. I was supposed to be here for him. Comfort him when he needed it. Bugger that – he brought up Penn. That’s fair game in my book.~

“I’m sorry Will… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”

~Still got his head in ’is hands. What’s this? Is he… he is… he’s cryin’. What the hell am I supposed to do now? I got me estranged, emotionally unbalanced Sire, all filled up with soul - sittin’ in a hotel room, with his head in his hands, an’ he’s sobbin’. Why me? Why couldn’t I have a normal family – like every other Joe AnyVamp. Why do I hafta have the only dysfunctional clan?~

“Shh… c’mon then. It’s in the past. We’ll let it go. Come on.”

~I pat ’is back, like a bleedin’ ponce… ‘There, there – ya poor retarded creature. Have a good feed, ya’ll be right as rain.’.~

~An’ he’s up… an’ he’s gonna make a break for the door – I can see this comin’ a mile away.~

“I’m sorry, Spike… I shouldn’t have come. This was a bad idea. Keep the room, enjoy it… stay as long as you like, it’s on me.”

~Oh. Stop.~

“Angel.”

~I’m up, face to face with ’im now. Okay, face to collarbone…~

“Don’t go.”

~What? Idiot. He jes’ finished tellin’ ya the room is paid for, an’ ta stay as long as ya like… God you are such a fool. I can’t believe you.~

“Come on… we’ll go lie down. Jus’ like old times. No more hysterics… It didn’t happen… We’ll start this over.”

Angel’s P.O.V.

~Fuck… why did I bring up Penn? I know what he meant to them… to us. All of us. He became everything I taught him – he was my… uh…Angelus’ greatest triumph. Expected me to be proud. Approved of him in ways his mortal father never did… (Fine! You’re grounded) Now that doesn’t act out in my head like an endless loop everyday, does it? I had to stop him. It had to end. If he would’ve just left – but he stayed. I didn’t mean for it to play out that way. It’s not right… but then what in my pathetic existence has ever been right?~

~I understand why Spike hates me. What I can’t understand is why he’s being good to me right now. I didn’t stop his brother’s execution, in fact, I was a willing participant. Until it was over. And when it was over… I remembered what he was – he was the anchor in our chaos. I try not to think about the killings we did… but I can’t help thinking about the happiness we shared – all of us… together. I wish Spike knew… about when Dru was made, and how good he was to her. How little patience I had with her nonsense – and how much compassion he showed. I doubt she was ever coherent enough to tell him, and I doubt Penn would ever take the time to pat his own back. He left Dru in Spike’s care… because, even then, I was a lame excuse for a Sire.~

~(“You’re an idiot, Spike.” … “Ya’ think? Because I’m not the one chained to the ceiling with hot pokers in my side.” ) Okay, so he’s had his moments of retaliation.~

~Even though I’m here, lying next to him, I’m a million miles away. But he’s here, and he’s in the now. Sure, he let’s things erupt – but you can always count on him to get it out, put it on the table, and move on. It’s his gift. Would it shock him to know I wish I were more like him?~

“Finished with yer self-flagellation yet?”

~Perceptive brat.~

“I was just thinking of Dru.”

~I was… before I was wishing I were more like him. He doesn’t need to know that part.~

“Oh? What of her?”

~Don’t worry… she’ll always be your Princess… until she finds something else to distract her.~

“When I made her. What I did to her. How she reacted when she woke up.”

~He’s lying on his side now – looking very interested. Pretty blue eyes…~

“Tell me about it.”

~He’ll get a kick out of this.~

“Well, she was horrified with me. You know why. Systematically driving someone insane will tend to tarnish your image in their eyes.”

~No joke… she was terrified…~

“So she wakes up, sees me, and starts blathering about me being the devil, and so on… I’m pretty wrecked – I don’t have a lot of patience for it… I choose to ignore her. She scrambles over to Penn, and he pulls her up in his lap, and he’s sort of coddling her, stroking her hair, trying to calm her down… Anyway, she’s got her head buried in the crook of his neck… So she bit him. And he’s still stroking her hair, saying ‘shhh’… Then she realizes what she’s doing and she flings herself onto the floor… and she’s apologizing to him… saying ‘You must think I’m some sort of Monster…’ And he’s so cool and calm about it… He sits her down and tells her how she’s not a monster and that she’s a vampire… and no joke… it was adorable… She looks into his eyes, and sincerely asks ‘What if I shouldn’t like to be a vampire?’ And you have to picture him… poker face – explaining that it was a bit late in the game for that type of choice… And she thinks on it a minute, and says ‘Then, may I bite you again?’ That was about the point that we all cracked up.”

~He’s laughing… I love hearing him laugh.~

“Yep, that’s me girl.”

~Vintage Dru.~

“She has a style all her own.”

~The understatement of the century? Perhaps.~

“Yanno – I told Slayer ’at Dru Sired me.”

~He did WHAT?!!~

“You did what?”

~Why?~

“Why?”

“Yeah… well, it added to the story…”

~What story?~

“What story?”

~I said that already…~

“The story about how I was turned, ya git.”

~I know how you were made, boy. I was there. I DID it.~

“So you lied.”

~Obviously.~

“Basically. It added to the drama, I think.”

~Is this his way of confessing? He doesn’t sound sorry.~

“What drama?”

~Little puke – Dru couldn’t Sire a fruit fly. And she Sired William the Bloody? Give me a break.~

“Slayer wanted to know how I offed them other two Slayers… an’ she was payin’… so I had to make it worth the listen, didn’t I? I mean… I could’ve told her the truth… About how ya saw me, an’ wanted ta make me yer chippy. Couldn’t keep yer paws off me. Coulda told her that… Didn’t figure she was ready for that bit o’ info.”

~He’s right. Her dark knight used to play hide the summer sausage with her arch nemesis… could throw her into a bit of a tizzy.~

“I see.”

~I do.~

“Well… that, an’ I thought if it ever got back to you… Well… never mind.”

~It would piss me off?~

“Punk.”

~Yes, I’ve resorted to name calling.~

“Wanker.”

~Apparently he has too.~

“Jackass.”

~So there!~

“Poofter.”

~Hey!~

“You would know.”

~‘Harder, Angelus… Deeper… More…’ Yeah… you would know, you little shit.~

“Yes… I would. I’m quite familiar with that side of you.”

~Takes one to know one? No – I’m not saying that out loud… Unless I plan on having a fight in the sandbox… which I don’t… because I’m mature… and this is a ridiculous discussion.~

“Spike…”

~I have nothing to say… his name is simply filler until his next witty quip.~

“So… ya seen that new Superman show?”

~Huh? Change of subject… fine. Be that way.~

“Yeah… it’s pretty good. Although, I’m usually out when it’s on.”

~Which is true.~

“Ya tape it ‘tho, dontcha?”

~Of course.~

“For Cordelia… she likes it.”

~Well, she does!~

“I can see it now – Prom Queen watchin’ the hot lil Superman bloke on the telly, an’ you standin’ behind the couch, salivatin’.”

~He’s grinning… well this should get him.~

“Like Pavlov’s dog.”

~It’s a good thing he doesn’t need to breathe – he’s laughing so hard, it looks like he’s going into convulsions.~

“I have to watch from the kitchen now.”

“She caught ya, eh?”

~Now both of us are laughing… at me. But hey – he watches, too… or he wouldn’t know…~

Spike’s P.O.V.

~Like I wouldn’t know? I took one look at that bloke, an’ I saw ‘Angel’s Type’ tattooed on ’is forehead. He likes pretty boys, an’ he likes ’em young. Blue eyed, an’ young. Forgets who he’s dealin’ with. Thinks I’m one of ’is pet mortals. Nope. I know what he is, an’ I know what he likes.~

~This is nice, yanno… s’been a long time since we talked like this. Long time… hmph… over a hundred bloody years… not that I’m countin’ or anythin’… but this is nice, lyin’ here in the dark, next to him… just talkin’. Talkin’ about… whatever. We used to do this all the time. It’s one of the things I missed most… about him. One of ’em. Yeah. Talkin’, killin’ an’ shaggin’… we were unparalleled in those departments.~

~He’s relaxed, jes’ lyin’ here… on his side… lookin’ at me, an’ smilin’… If time’s gonna stop, I hope it stops now… now, before we fuck up the whole cha-cha again with our stupidity. I say ‘our stupidity’ cause I know it’s shared. The pair o’ us… we could fuck up the best-laid plan. It didn’t start out that way. In the beginning… things were so much simpler.~

~I could drown in those eyes, you know? Dark eyes… Dru had dark eyes. I love dark eyes… My weakness, they are. I wonder what he’d do if I touched him. He might back away… cursey curse, an all… or maybe he just doesn’t want me that way anymore… Maybe he just wants to lie here. Jes’ listenin’ to each other. Which is fine… not that I wouldn’t mind a nice shag… I jes’ almost prefer this… this calm… this truce. Like we left everythin’ that’s happened lyin’ outside the hotel room door, an’ we’ll pick it up again when we’re ready to leave.~

~I’m not ready to leave. Nowhere near ready to leave. Maybe I’ll just drape me arm over his waist… all friendly like… just a couple o’ blokes lyin’ together… If he flinches… I’ll pull it away… Here goes… Go on arm – Move, you! He didn’t flinch… Nope, that wasn’t a flinch… that was a smile. What’s he doin’ with his hand? Oh… bugger… lookin’ in me eyes, an’ trailin’ a finger down me cheek. Oi! I take it back – time can end now instead. Now, when he’s softly caressin’ down me face… movin’ his hand behind me neck, pullin’ me in close. I don’t need more than this. I’m not askin’ for more. I just want this. More would be nice, mind you. But I’ll settle for this. My head’s just under his chin, his hand’s curlin’ through me hair…~

“God, I’ve missed you so much, Will.”

~He’s whispered softly in me ear. I can barely feel the brush of his lips next to me cheek. My head’s gonna explode. This is so bloody good. Feelin’ him… like this. Those words… for me.~

“It feels so good.”

~Jes’ lie here… like this… time can end now… not before. Now… Go on time – end. I’m hard as stone, but I don’t need anythin’ more… not askin’ for more.~

“Let me hold you tonight?”

~You can do whatever you want to me tonight, Angel. Ya want me to sleep in yer arms, you got it. Jes’ don’t stop holdin’ me this way.~

“Yeah… that sounds good.”

~I move my arms to around his neck, and wrap me’self in tighter around ’im. I know he can feel my stiffness against his. I don’t care… Know why? Cause I can feel his, too… an’ he’s gently thrustin’ against me… not tryin’ ta get off… just tryin’ ta drink in the feelin’… same as me.~

“Can we get… uh… more comfortable?”

~Oh… the clothes. Almost forgot about those. He should remember – I sleep in the buff. I sit up, an’ move to take off me shirt…~

“Wait… can I?”

~Can you? Bloody hell… I insist. I jes’ put his hands on me shirt… he smiles… damn. He’s gonna be slow about this… wanna get back to where we were, he pulls the shirt over me head, an’… Oh God… his hands are movin’ over me chest, softly… like I’m gonna break… An’ I’m gonna… if he keeps this up.~

“Return the favor?”

~He doesn’t say anythin’, jes’ smiles at me, an runs his hands down me arms, endin’ in mine… pullin’ them to him… I don’t take as much time, cause all I want is to get me hands on that sweet, delicious flesh of ’is. An’ now I’m takin’ me time… jes’ explorin’… lettin’ me finger tips glide over ’is chest. Bloody hell… It’s pure… bliss. An’ his hands are undoin’ me belt, an’ mine are undoin’ his… an’ we’re liftin’ to help slide this prison of fabric down our legs… an’ now we’re all flesh on flesh, an’ fingers explorin’ and caressin’… an’ why does it have to be so late?~

~Pity about Vampires… the sun comes up, an’ even though our cocks are awake an’ ready, the rest of our bodies are wrecked an’ ready for sleep. It doesn’t stop us… much. I just wanna feel his body, heavy on mine… the weight… an’ for fucks sake… kiss me already… He does… a hundred bloody years without this mouth on mine… an’ it’s everythin’… lazy thrusts against each other, an’ our tongues slippin’ inside… an’ we’re gonna fall asleep jes’ like this. An’ I don’t care… cause I hope time stops when we do.~

Angel’s P.O.V.

~I want you so much… and even though it’s only my tongue inside of you right now, it won’t be for long. Tonight, when we wake up… you’ll feel it all.~

~I let my hand linger on your side, let the fingers splay, and curl them in again. Softly. The way you like it. I’ve always adored how sensitive your flesh is – the barest hint of a touch was enough to stimulate you. You seem to revel in it, your body arching and writhing. I loved watching you when we touched. Your expression, completely lost in your world of pleasure. And here you are, lying beneath me.~

~I can’t help myself, I reach between us, grip our hardness together in my fist, stroke you, stroke me. I feel your length sliding up and down my palm, your mouth quivering against mine as I reach down to cup your sac. You feel everything, don’t you William?~

~Could I tell you what I think of when I’m alone in my room at night? Would you already know? Would you see the way my hand closes around my cock, and I let my mind go? The sole guilty pleasure I offer myself. The memories. Memories of Penn, lying on his side as I pushed into him. Memories of Drusilla standing against the wall, lifting her dress for me to slip inside of her. Darla, riding me as I lay beneath her, taking in her form as I pleasured her core. But you… the moment I picture you, it’s over… lying beneath me… always beneath me. I release myself in heavy thick strands that spill over my fist, I imagine you licking and sucking at my fingers as the wetness drips down…~

“Angel.”

~You breathe into my mouth… ahh, I’m gonna come if you say it again.~

~I can’t respond, boy… Please understand… Understand as I moan against your lips, and hold my cock with yours in my hand… Understand why I have to pump up against you. Why I have to feel you spread your legs… and hope to God you understand why those small whimpers you’re making are doing me in.~

~Don’t fight it, Will… let the sleep come. Let it have you, just don’t ask me to stop. I feel you fighting against it, fighting to stay awake, trying to match this intensity I’m pouring over you. These slow grinding movements of your hips are reacting on instinct now. Go on, boy… sleep. I feel that knot in your cock burning between my fingers… burning for release. You’re not gonna come, boy… you’ll be out before then. But I’ll be here, just let me hold you. Just let me move against you. Just let me feel you.~

~Trembling… beneath me, your body slowly stills. I won’t move now. I’ll just hold you. I want to be on top of you when you wake up. On top of you so I can slide into you, and do this right. The sleep is taking me boy. Don’t be gone when I wake. I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to wake up without you. Without you here. My boy… don’t go.~