Letters From Oz
Xander trudged into his apartment building and wearily dug out his mailbox key. It had been a hellishly long day and all he wanted to do was grab a shower and veg on the couch with a cold drink. No TV, no radio, no noise of any kind just blessed silence.
Xander pulled out the stack of envelopes and absently sorted through them as he closed and locked his box. Bill, bill, advert, bill, letter - letter? Xander grinned mentally amending his plans: shower, couch, cold drink and his supper secret indulgence. Letters from Oz.
They had become friends at first by default. Oz was dating Willow and Xander was her best friend. They had been on amicable terms until the whole kiss incident. It had taken quite a bit for the pair to repair their friendship after that. In the end they worked it out not for Willow’s sake but for their own. The whole group was glad to see the boys relax around each other again but Xander doubted anyone realized how much time the he and Oz spent with each other.
The lycan had started sending Xander letters a few weeks after leaving. Surprisingly the usually quite boy was chatty when he wrote, almost babbling on paper. Mostly the letters were filled with details about where ever in the world Oz was that week and the people he met. Sometimes there were stilted sentences about methods of control that had failed. Words that told of pain not in what they said but what they avoided.
Every week Xander waited and hoped. The brunet hadn’t yet had a chance to write back but Xander had a dozen letters tucked away just waiting for his friend to either come home or at least stay still long enough to have a return address.
This week lady luck had been smiling on him and brought not one but TWO Oz letters. Xander barely restrained the urge to do the snoopy dance down the hall to his door. He dropped the rest of the mail in the basket on his counter and tucked the letters under the paperweight on the coffee table as he passed through the living room. He hurried his shower impatient to see what Oz had written.
Xander settled into the couch with a glass of cola and picked up the first letter. Post marked... Hong Kong? Wow, the last one had been from Sri Lanka.
Xander,
Traveling east again. I got a tip on a monk in Japan who that might be able to help.
I have been thinking a lot about the whole mess with Veruca. It’s been eating away at my soul. But I think I’ve come to a resolution.
Werewolves mate for life. I thought Willow was my mate - or at least that she would have been when she was ready. But if Willow had been meant for me then Veruca wouldn’t- couldn’t have effected me they way she did.
I’m not in love with Willow. I love her, you know that, but I realized that I’m not in love with her. And I don’t think she was truly in love with me.
There were times I’d get the feeling that Willow was with me because she thought that was what she should do, not because she really wanted to. But then she’d be ultra supportive and bake cookies or something for me just because.
I wish she could have let go enough to tell me what she needed. It hurts that that part of my life is over. I’m going to miss being with her but I think we both need a new start. I hope she finds someone to make her happy.
I’m going to write her when I get to Japan, send her the number there so we can talk.
Maybe I’ll even be there long enough that you can write to me for a change. :)
Well I need to get going. Stay safe Xander.
Oz
Xander set the letter down and slumped further back into the couch. Oookay.
So he kinda figured Oz and Wills weren’t in Happyville but still. Xander was going to have to stock up on ice cream. Even if they weren’t exactly together anymore Wills was going to need some babying after she talks to Oz.
Well shopping could wait; he still had another Oz letter to read.
Xander,
Arrived in Osaka last night. I am meeting up with a cousin of the people I was staying with in Hong Kong. Ran is going to take me to the temple where the monk I need to see is. He’ll be here in an hour.
I was all keyed up and needed to calm down so I decided to write you. Funny how that has become a soothing activity.
Osaka seems to be a nice place, the people are really friendly. I think you would like it here. There were these comedian/street performer guys outside the motel when I checked in. They were funny even if I couldn’t understand what they were saying.
I ate tako-yaki - like squid muffin balls, for dinner they were surprisingly yummy. There was soup for breakfast, not bad but odd. I would have skipped it but I’m not sure how long it’ll before we stop for lunch.
I hope this monk can help me cause I’m really tired of looking. Tired of moving. The world in three months sounds like an adventure but just as you start to acquire a taste for one place you’re off somewhere else and trying to adjust again.
I miss you.
Oz
“I miss you too Oz.” Xander carefully folded the letters back into their envelopes and tucked them away.
May 2001
Oz loped down the hill to the mailbox. He’d let his hair grow out in the months he’d been here and put on some muscle. His daily trips up and down the windy path to the temple were great exercise and he could now make the trip without collapsing on the temple steps.
Oz was hoping for a letter from Xander. They had been coming regularly since Oz starting staying with Kazuki at the temple. The were-cat had been helping him with his control and Oz was helping around the temple. Kazuki could - and did - kick his ass but the monk was getting on in years and seemed to really appreciate the help.
The old man might have to adjust to more company soon. Things were getting hairy in SunnyD and Xander had made plans to send Dawn to him. His memories of the girl were hazy, like a waking dream but he wouldn’t turn her away - even if he hadn’t remembered her - because Xander asked. And Oz found it hard to deny Xander anything.
Oz tucked Kazuki’s mail into his back pocket and leaned against the boulder behind the mailbox unwilling to wait until he got back up the hill to read his. The letter from Xander smelled of salt, like dried tears. The wolf growled in his head and dread clenched his stomach.
Oz,
God man. I don’t-
Things are so fucked up here. Apocalypse adverted but it feels like the sky has fallen. Or maybe just the sun.
Buffy died. She saved us by sacrificing herself. Jumped off a fucking building to stop Glory. And Giles-
Giles had to kill a man. Ben. Glory was his sister, but she was inside him. Some freaky body time-share. I don’t think the girls know, but I’m trying to keep and eye on him. With everything else... I don’t want him to do something regrettable.
We’re all rallying around Dawn. Trying to keep her from falling apart. Trying to keep us from falling apart.
God I wish you were here, Oz. Or that I was there. ‘I miss you,’ doesn’t really seem to cover it. But I don’t want you to come here. Learning with Kazuki is way more important then me being needy. And I will make that trip Oz, you can show me all your haunts in Osaka.
Do you remember that game Willow used to make us play - Anywhere But Here? Where would you take me, Oz? What would we see on our grand adventure?
Xander
Oz sat on the stone and blinked dazedly at the letter. The werewolf wasn’t sure if he agreed with Xander’s estimation that being here was more important but he’d stay for now. Oz headed back to the temple, mind whirling over places to take Xander. If the man wanted a distraction then a distraction he would get.
November 2001
Oz read through the letter again. Sure his eyes were playing tricks.
Oz,
I am so mad right now that I could spit nails. Willow has crossed a line I never thought she would cross.
She fucked with our heads! Willow cast a spell and we all forgot. Everything! When it was broken we found out it had been aimed at Tara and Buffy. Not that that made it better.
And she tried to put a compulsion in Tara. So she would go along with Willow, or ignore the spell crafting shit she has been up too. What on the green earth was she thinking?
I don’t think I know her anymore Oz. My Wills wouldn’t have done something like that.
Oz grabbed his jacket and the keys to his bike. He needed to call Xander. Oz dashed outside muttering under his breath about old men and their aversion to phones.
October 2002
Oz,
The end of the world is nigh. And yes, I know you already know this but there have been signs:
1. Buffy and Faith are making like a pair of Den Mothers. Just with more snarking and burnt dinners.
2. Giles has allowed Andrew to stay with him - as in his room. I know, freaky.
3. Spike - everyone’s favorite souled, de-chipped vamp is living with me and we’re not trying to kill one another. Mostly. There was that nasty crazy period, but we are beyond that into buddies territory. Verging on friends with benefits territory.
Demon magnet strikes again, right?
It’s not like we’re in love or anything but like Spike says we’re Love’s Bitches. I mean totally crappy track records aside we’re both looking for comfort I guess. We both have nightmares and Just having someone to hold on to seems to help keep them at bay.
Stay safe Oz cause I swear, as soon as we’re done kicking the First’s ass I am on a plane to Japan. We’ll finally have that adventure.
Love,
Xander
Oz wasn’t pleased and to say his wolf wasn’t pleased was an understatement. Oz had been having trouble merging himself with the wolf completely, they seldom saw eye to eye on anything - but Xander’s letter had them both upset.
The thought of that blond menace’s hands on THEIR Xander. Grrrrrrr He needed to go kill things.
May 2003
Oz,
You probably noticed the world didn’t end. Sunnydale is gone though. Not an earthquake or what ever they’re spouting on the new but blown up - by Spike. Sort of.
Stupid vampire used Angel’s necklace-talisman-thingy to destroy the uber-vamps. It burnt him up. I feel like I should be crying for him, but I can’t. It’s like after all this crap I don’t have anymore tears left.
Not all of the Potentials - Slayers now, made it. Anya didn’t make it. She died saving Andrew. She is in heaven now, she earned the right.
Giles has suggested the Cleveland hellmouth as the group’s destination. The others have agreed.
I’m going with them. I can’t leave them yet. I want to make sure they’re safe, settled first.
I’ll write you when we get there,
Xander
Oz didn’t like the tone of Xander’s letter but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Oz started toward his room before changing direction. He needed to speak with Kazuki.
June 2003
Oz,
Giles has taken over a huge house here. He’s turning it into a dorm/training facility/head quarters for the new Slayers.
I’ve been busy getting the house back into livable order. The place was run down and needed a lot of work. I know we talked about me coming to visit in a week or so but I don’t think I’m going to make it. I can’t leave them right now.
I’m sorry,
Xander
Oz had reached his limit. Xander had been promising to come to Japan for over a year and now he was doing this avoidance thing. There was something not right going on with Xan and Oz wasn’t going to sit around waiting for one of the girls to notice.
Oz started tossing things into a duffle bag. If Xander wouldn’t come to him - he’d go to Xander.
Oz arrived at Slayer Central not in a good mood. He snapped at the girl who answered the door, and brushed past Willow when she came to see who it was. Oz breathed deeply and let his wolf find Xander. He found the other man up a level and immediately crowded into Xander’s personal space.
Xander turned his head a little to hide his patch but didn’t step back. Oz raised his hand letting it slide along Xander’s cheek. He turned the brunet’s face back to him and brushed aside the hair obscuring his face.
Oz raised up on to his toes and brushed his lips against Xander’s. He pulled back just enough to see the brunet’s eye, it was full of wonder. Oz gave him a tiny smile and leaned in to kiss him again. This time he pressed more firmly asking for entrance. Xander’s lips parted just a bit and Oz slipped his tongue inside. Exploring, trying to show Xander everything he couldn’t write.
Finally when they were getting light headed from the need for air Oz ended the kiss. He took a half step back and twined his fingers with Xander’s. “Come on, we need to get you packed.” He said tugging on Xan’s hand.
“Wha-?” Xander was dazed but he followed Oz.
“You’re coming with me back to Japan. So you need to pack - where is your room?” Oz stopped in the back hall and looked at the pair of stair cases as if they could tell him. Xander tried to speak but all that came out was a choked squeak. One of the girls painting near by pointed to the left and gave him directions. Oz nodded his thanks and headed off.
Once in Xander’s room he pushed the other man to sit on the bed and started folding clothes into the bag he found in the closet.
“You’re taking me to Japan? You came all the way here to- to- kidnap me?” Xander spoke up.
Oz tucked the last shirt in and zipped the bag closed. “Yes. We’re going home, even if I have to drug you and carry you to the airport my self.”
“Oh.” Xander scratched the back of his neck, “Why?”
Oz pounced on Xander knocking him back to lie on the bed. “Because you are MINE, you belong with me.” Oz replied from where he was nuzzling Xan’s neck.
Xan made a protesting noise and Oz bit him, not enough to draw blood but there would definitely be a mark there. The werewolf growled low in his throat waiting for Xander to agree.
Xander thought about how much he’d missed Oz and how little he was doing here. Oz wanted him, he’d made that plain. Xander tipped his chin back, “Japan it is.”
-END-
Written for the Man of Letters Fest
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