In the end, it took half a day for them to be dug out. Blair wondered if he'd ever be able to feel his butt or legs again. A wrench slipped while the metal slab was being levered up, and the thing clashed down, knocking Jim in the head -- well, he had told him to keep his head down, but did the guy ever listen? So there they were, loading Jim into an ambulance -- again -- heading to Cascade General -- how many times was it this year? -- and of course, when the doors had closed and the car had pulled out into the street, he looked up and there was Jonas, pointing a gun into his face. Gee, looked like the creep had gotten out of the building before it collapsed after all. Blair sighed as he remembered Simon's shocked, aghast expression when he realized that the white stain on the front of Jim's pants matched the one on front of Blair's -- and wondered morosely if the Captain would even bother sending someone to look for them. The only thing that could make matters worse was if the irate owner of the collapsed building actually followed through with his threats to sue the city, the PD, and Jim and Blair personally for the wanton destruction of his treasured property.

The ambulance turned a corner sharply, throwing Jonas off balance. Blair grabbed the nearest object which was handy, which turned out to be Jonas' crotch. Jonas screeched in agony at the tight grip, making Blair wonder if he'd done the guy permanent damage. Reaching blindly behind him, Blair grabbed another handy object and smashed it into Jonas' face, and watched with grim satisfaction as Jonas slowly crumpled into a shapeless heap at his feet. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to relax the grip on the bedpan he held, fuzzily wondering what such a thing was doing in an ambulance, then deciding he really didn't want to know.

"Jonas?" a voice floated back from the driver's seat, "Jonas! What was that?"

Blair dived for the gun and pointed it toward the voice. The car was slowing. Blair waited for the driver to stop the car and come back to check, but the car kept moving, albeit slowly. Blair pawed through Jim's pants pockets -- this was so not what he had in mind when he'd told Jim he couldn't wait to get his hands into his pants -- and fished out the handcuffs, which he used to quickly secure Jonas to one of the sturdier-looking railings on the side wall of the ambulance, then cautiously crept forward. His eyes widened as the driver's face came into sight.

"Dr. Jackson??"

The man spared him a startled glance before focusing his attention back on the road. "That'd be me," he admitted.

"Er... Dr. Jackson... I thought you were kidnapped?"

"I was. I am," the good doctor muttered. "The interstate is coming up soon. Do I get on?"

"Um, excuse me, but if you are the kidnappee, and he," Blair gestured toward Jonas, "is the kidnapper, why are you driving?"

The doctor pointed down. Blair glanced down, but didn't see anything. He looked back up, and this time the doctor pointed emphatically down. Blair carefully hunkered down, making sure to keep the doctor in sight, and looked. "That looks like a bomb."

"Yes. He told me it's rigged to go off if I get up off this seat. I haven't tested to see if it's true."

Blair had to agree that the doctor had sense. In the back, Jonas groaned and shifted. "Uh... listen, I better keep an eye on Jonas. Why don't you drive this thing to Cascade General and..."

"Sure. If you tell me how to get there."

Blair glanced out the window. "This thing isn't rigged to blow if you stop, is it?"

"Not that he told me," the doctor said, pulling over to the side. Blair quickly gave directions to Cascade General, then moved back and propped into an attendant's seat.

"Chief?" Jim muttered weakly as the car started up again.

"Hey, welcome back. How many fingers? Can you tell me your name? What day is it? Who's the president of the United Arab Emirates?"

"You're no Vulcan," Jim commented, squinting blearily at Blair's pitiful attempt at a Vulcan salute. "And last time I checked, the president of UAE was Sheikh Zayed Bin Sultan Al Nahyan."

Blair beamed. "Excellent! You'll survive, Jim."

Jim snorted. "You're in way too cheerful a mood, Chief." His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Anything happen while I was out?"

"Oh, nothing. Nothing unusual."

"Yeah, right."

"Well, it does seem we are sitting inside an ambulance... I'm sure there's a lab coat and stopwatch in here somewhere."

"I never should have told you that."

"Hey," Blair grinned. "We could have necked while we waited to be dug out."

Jim glared.

Blair smiled, pulled out the cell phone, and called Simon.

Simon placed the phone back into its cradle with a satisfied click. The owner of the collapsed building, appropriately chastised and considerably subdued, had agreed to cough up the money to cover Jim's hospital expenses, as well as a hefty donation to the Cascade PD Orphans and Widows Fund, in exchange for the DA dropping criminal charges against him for reckless endangerment of lives resulting from various building code violations, foremost among them the gas tank, which had been improperly installed without the required license. As for Jim and Blair... Well, he and Joel had kept themselves awake through many a late-night report-writing session trading outrageous scenarios as to when and how they'd manage to out themselves, but trust them to come up with a truly... outrageous... and unique... way to do it that defied anyone's capacity for imagination. Dr. Jackson was safely on his way back to Colorado, Jim was being released from the hospital later today, and life was good. Now, what would be a good coming-out present for his favorite gay couple?

Grinning, Simon picked up the phone.