Author's Notes: For my 15 seconds of fame, I want to say... Happy Birthday Stina! (Even though you hate Stargate, you scum!)
DISCLAIMER: All characters and property of Stargate SG-1 belong to MGM/UA, World Gekko Corp. and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
“Happy Birthday, Teal’c!”
“It is not my ‘birth day’. Jaffa do not have ‘birth days.’”
“Well, you do now.”
“I do not understand, O’Neill.”
“Teal’c, we all feel that we should celebrate your birthday. We’ve celebrated mine and Daniel’s and Jack’s. It’s your turn now.”
“What happens to one on this ‘birth day?’”
“Teal’c, in our culture a birthday is a day to celebrate the day when someone was born. We use it to count our age.”
“I am ninety.”
“We know, Teal’c. Now you are ninety-one.”
“I see, Captain Carter.”
“So Teal’c, we’re going to take you out tonight. About time I showed you more of this world, and tonight we’ll see great... ah... ‘culture’, as Daniel would put it.”
“Jack, ‘culture’ isn’t really the correct term...”
“Hey, yeah, whatever. Teal’c, meet us at the front entrance at 1900 hours.”
“I will do as ordered.”
“Sir, is this a good idea?”
“Wasn’t it your idea, Sam? And for the fortieth time tonight, call me Jack!”
“Sorry, uh, Jack. Old habits die hard. Answer my question.”
“How should I know if it’s a good idea? We have to celebrate his birthday somehow.”
“Well... I guess it’s too late now. Half of the SGC is already there, setting up.”
“We rented the whole place?”
“Yes, s...Jack.”
“I hope I’ll be with Daniel for this... he he he.”
“Why, s...Jack?”
“Oh, it’s a great thing to beat him at every sport.”
“For his sake I hope you are on different teams.”
“Gee Sam, you’re no fun.”
“Where are we going, O’Neill, Captain Carter?” Where is Daniel Jackson?”
“We’re going to a special place, Teal’c. Daniel’s already there.”
“I see.”
“We’re almost there... Here we are, Teal’c! The place we will celebrate! The bowling alley.”
“What is a ‘bowling’?”
“It’s a sport, Teal’c. You roll this ball down an ally and knock down pins. Whoever knocks down the most pins wins.”
“There was a game like that on Chulak. We called it Downpin.”
“Uh huh... After you, Teal’c...”
“SURPRISE!”
“O’Neill, what are all these people here for?”
“Hello, son. We’re here to celebrate your birthday.”
“Hello, Mr. Teal’c. Happy Birthday!”
“Thank you.”
“Whew! That was some night, huh, Teal’c?”
“It was indeed some night.”
“S...Jack, did you win in your ally?”
“What? Daniel, is your apartment a left or right at these lights?”
“Right. Sam, did you win? It’s too bad we were all in different allies.”
“Actually, I think it was good. I tied for first, with General Hammond.”
“The teddybear can bowl? I never knew that. Teal’c, did you win?”
“I indeed won. I knocked down all pins each time.”
“Wow! Teal’c, ever considered dropping out of the Stargate program and becoming a professional bowler?”
“No. Why?”
“Never mind, Teal’c. So Danny, how’d you do? It’s okay if you don’t want to tell us.”
“As a matter of fact, I won. By a long shot. Those airmen can’t roll to save their lives.”
“You won a game, Danny?!”
“What about you Jack? You never told us if you won.”
“Yeah, um, Jack. Who was on your ally anyway?”
“Janet Fraiser, Johnson, some other nameless people...”
“Win or lose, Jack? Huh? Huh?”
“Calm down, Daniel.”
“Jack, would you please answer the question?”
“Well, no, I mean, I, uh, I don’t want to embarrass the Doc. Right or left?”
“Left. Hah! Yeah right.”
“Right?”
“No, left!”
“Left?”
“Right.”
“Wait a minute!”
“Just go left!”
“Fine.”
“So Jack, you won?”
“Well, I didn’t say that...”
“So you lost?”
“Well, um, well, I was second.”
“Hah! So, Colonel, not so wonderful as we thought are we?”
“I won a game that Jack didn’t?”
“There’s a first and last time for everything, Daniel.”
“It is very humorous that we all won except for O’Neill.”
“Thank you, Teal’c. I’m glad you’re humored.”
“Just don’t forget why we went there, Jack.”
“Yeah fine. Here’s your apartment, Daniel. See ya Monday.”
“Bye Jack, bye Sam.”
“Bye Daniel!”
“Happy Birthday, Teal’c!”
And they all lived happily ever after... At least until Teal’c next birthday, when they took him to a fashion show.