DAY AFTER DAY: Part 8
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and property of Stargate SG-1 belong to MGM/UA, World Gekko Corp. and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment purposes and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission of the author(s).
A week of sitting here in the infirmary watching Doc and her crew fight for Daniel's life hasn't done much for my mood. The bullet itself didn't cause that much damage, missing the major organs, but the blood loss and the infection are what nearly killed him... That and the fact that he didn't seem to care if he lived or not... One of the many things that has always impressed me so much about Daniel is his singular ability to hang on, that sheer stubborn determination to fight back no matter what life threw at him. This time Daniel didn't seem to have any fight left in him... The one sure thing that had always kept Daniel fighting...Sha'uri...was gone and he didn't seem able to focus on a life beyond that fact... So I talked. Talked like I never have before. Non-stop. Talked about life.Love. Hope. Family. Friendship. Memories.... Daniel was just so exhausted, weak from losing so much blood and from fighting the fever that didn't seem to want to let him go.... It wasn't until I started talking about the people we'd helped and the people still out there that needed our help, that Daniel had showed any spark of interest. Skaara is still out there...along with countless others who need us...need him... to keep fighting. I need him to keep fighting. A long time ago, I called him the conscience of our team and that hasn't changed. He's taught all of us how to find that part of ourselves that he so expressively stays in touch with...our hearts. We started down this road together, I want us to keep traveling down it the same way... He got so bad there for awhile, I got scared...and when I get scared, I yell. So I started yelling at him. I reminded him of the promise he'd made to his wife...not beginning to understand what it meant...just that it was something for him to hold on to... With that measureless capacity for empathy that is so uniquely a part of Daniel...he pulled out of the dark places his mind seemed to be trapped in...not for himself, but for us...and for others the Goa'uld have hurt as much as they've hurt him...for the child his wife had by another man... I sat there watching his eyes come back as if from very far away...looking at me like I was the only solid anchor left in his life...Then I held him when the full weight of realization came crashing down once again and he cried with all the meager energy he could muster...falling asleep as his grief gave way to the weakness of his body... It wasn't the first time, it won't be the last...but I hope he knows whenever he needs me I'll be there...we all will... I have to work hard to control a deep and abiding rage against the Goa'uld for everything they've taken from my young friend...He's not so young as he once was; I've watched the weight of life settle on him over time and now I hate the look of ageless sadness that looks back at me from Daniel's eyes... When Doc lets him out of here, I'm going to make him go with me to the ocean. The ocean is a very good place to rediscover something lost inside yourself... I'm just hoping Daniel can find what he's lost.. I'm just hoping it's still there.... For almost three years Daniel's hope had a name...Sha'uri. Sha'uri may be dead, but everything in me is praying that Daniel's hope will survive...and that somehow, day after day, he finds a way to keep it alive....
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