DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and property of Stargate SG-1 belong to MGM/UA, World Gekko Corp. and Double Secret Productions.  This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment purposes and no money was made from it.  Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended.  Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.  Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.  Not to be archived without permission of the author(s).

Chapter 10: Daniel

Jack just looks at me. There are no real answers, I know that. None that are going to matter. I just want to stop feeling this way.

I just want to stop feeling....

"Daniel...."

When look up Jack's got this apologetic expression on his face...

"I....uh..."

Eloquent as always, Jack...

I just shake my head. I know 'why' he did it...I just don't know how I feel about. Or about anything....

My hands hurt, my side hurts, my head hurts....

But I feel strangely...better...

Well, not exactly better either...just different...

Jack can be a first class....

Friend.

*God, I'm so tired...*

Jack reaches out a hand to help me up and puts me back on the couch...again...I feel the blanket fall back over me, then nothing...

// 'Hear me, Daniel...'

"You have delivered me to the vile Goa'uld...."

"You want to kill me, Daniel?"

"You're hallucinating, Daniel..."

"I am sorry, Daniel Jackson."

"My host cannot help you."

"I love you, Daniel."

"We can get through this..." //

I'm awake again, sitting up in the darkness and rubbing my face to clear away the jumbled memories that won't let me sleep.

"God, when is this ever going to stop..."

I don't even realize I've said it out loud, until a voice out of the darkness says quietly, "It never does, Danny..."

I respond without thinking, leaning back against the sofa, "How do you keep going then?"

Jack gives a breath of a laugh. "Some days you don't...."

Well, that's encouraging....

I can hear Jack shifting around in the dark. "I can't give you all the answers, Daniel. You know where I was when we met before Abydos...All I can tell you is that it does get, not exactly better...but bearable. Especially when you let your friends help...?"

That last bit is a question. A question I'm not sure how to answer...

Punching on Jack helped, strangely enough. Him letting me punch on him helped...

"I don't know, Jack....I want...I don't know what I want...."

And the hell of it is I really don't.....

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