Author's Notes:  A little explanation here... I've handled Legacy in anothe fic, but wasn't entirely satisfied with the results. The effects were just too far-reaching to be dealt with so quickly... IMHO... I hope you agree...

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and property of Stargate SG-1 belong to MGM/UA, World Gekko Corp. and Double Secret Productions.  This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment purposes and no money was made from it.  Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended.  Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.  Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.  Not to be archived without permission of the author(s).

Chapter Three: Jack

As I help Daniel inside, I keep catching these looks from him. Looks of doubt...? He's my best friend, but there are things about him I still can't begin to fathom...

He's one of the smartest people I've ever known, he feels everything on a level I'm only beginning to understand, he can stand up to the nastiest enemies and turn around on a dime and see their point of view....His eyes can speak volumes, but he can also put on this expression...an expression that tells me something's wrong because it is so distant and dark....but gives me no clue as to what's going on behind it.

I don't think, even now, that he can understand, accept...whatever... what he means to us...and to me. Daniel's been left alone too often to deal with the garbage life's handed him...He doesn't know how to reach out for support, because he's never had any body there to fill that role for him...

'Been there, done that...'

Daniel's the one who taught me to look outside of myself...

It's time he learned his own lesson....

I ease Daniel down onto the sofa and cover him again, going into the kitchenette to fix us some decaf. Daniel hates it; so do I, but it's that or nothing.

I hear something in the living room and go back to find Daniel sitting up, actually trying to get up...

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask him in my best and most-used...on him...exasperated tone.

"Jack..." he starts to argue with me, then his knees buckle.

I sit him back down, telling him not to rush it. I know how much he hates this physical weakness, but he shouldn't be pushing it too soon. I don't want to even think how much blood he lost all over that mountain; I can't think about the look in his eyes when he passed out just as the rescue chopper came into view...

*It was like he was saying goodbye....

I remember ordering him not to die on me....

Later in the infirmary, I reminded him...a little forcefully...of the promise he'd made to Sha'uri...urging him to fight....

No matter how much he wanted to let go....*

It's a wonder he doesn't hate me for pulling out that blatant emotional blackmail...but he scared me.

Daniel's the closest friend I've let myself have in too many years. I'd've said...or done...anything to keep him from giving up. Just like I'd say or do anything to take this pain away...

Daniel finally lays his head down...giving me a little frown of impatience. He hates being sick as much as I do...And there's this little thing he has about being dependent.

He just never learned how....

Sha'uri and the Abydonians were probably the only ones he ever allowed himself to depend on in his adult life....until his wife and his life there were ripped way...along with a good portion of his soul....

It had taken a long time for that particular wound to heal...or at least cauterize; endless sleepless nights, too many nightmares to count, an emotional reticence that kept him from accepting his role as part of our team...our family... But he'd been learning to trust us, to rely on us...until...

Until Machello's little silver bullets...

Until we'd let him go without a fight...

Until we'd broken the trust it took so long for us to build....

Until we walked away from him and left him alone.

Daniel had finally allowed us into those protected places...and we blew it.

I blew it.

Now Sha'uri's gone. And the closeness we'd built up over two and a half years hasn't healed enough for him to trust me again. I'm still waiting for him to tell me more about this promise, but...it's going to take a lot of work to make him see that I'm never going to let anything like that happen again.

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