DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and property of Stargate SG-1 belong to MGM/UA, World Gekko Corp. and Double Secret Productions.  This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment purposes and no money was made from it.  Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended.  Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.  Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.  Not to be archived without permission of the author(s).

Chapter 7: Jack

"Dammit..."

I don't know what he was dreaming before...or maybe I do...but that was one of the quickest changes I've ever seen come over my changeable friend. He was so open before, finally giving in to the grief that's been eating him from the inside out...

He was asleep when I got back into the car, so I just headed back down the coast road, thinking to get him back to bed where he belonged, when he started thrashing around in the seat next to me and yelling for me to come back...

It doesn't take a Ph. D. to figure that one out...

Damn....

Then he goes so pale in the dashboard lights that I think he's going to pass out and jumps out of the car. I get out and run after him, but he hasn't gone very far....

He's just standing there looking out over the ocean, breathing hard and shaking so much I can see it even in the moonlight...

I want to hold on to him, tell him it's okay...but knowing what caused this reaction, I don't know if it's wise...

"Daniel...?"

He just stands there, shaking his head, not looking at me....like he's telling me not to get too close...not to touch him....

I remember that look...

*Up on the mountain, trying to get away from those goon...his eyes all too plainly showing that he was on the edge, and anything could have pushed him over...*

Well, he's back on that edge...and I wonder if he might not just be better off if he went ahead and fell either way...

I reach out and squeeze his shoulder.

Like a house of cards, Daniel seems to fold in on himself, going down on his knees as I wrap my arms around him....his ragged sobs reverbating through my chest and tearing at my heart....

It's like the fight's gone out of him and he can't hold it in any longer; the grief and pain finally winning out over the distrust...at least for now..

I realize the sky if brightening when Daniel finally grows quiet in my arms. He stays so quiet and I realize that he's gone to sleep again....

He shouldn't be out here...(Hell, none of this should ever have happened to bring him to this time and place, but here we are)....Fraiser will surgically remove parts of me that I'm fondly attached to if I let him wind up with pneumonia or something, but....

He needed this...and I'm thinking maybe we needed it, too. I don't know exactly what just happened here, but I can't help thinking that it's a step in the right direction. I slip off my jacket and throw it over Daniel, and settle in to wait and see....

The sun is well up and warm on my back when Daniel finally stirs from an apparently dreamless sleep....

"Jack...?" He raises up slowly. He still looks like hell on a bad day, but somehow...better...

I keep a hand on his arm to steady him as he rubs the sleeps from his eyes and puts on his glasses. He looks around for a minute, obviously confused, then he blushes a little as the memory of last night visibly comes rushing back...

He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out....he finally gives up and drops his head into his hands.

"Thanks, Jack..." It's barely a whisper, but I ruffle his hair a little to let him know I do understand. His particular brand of grief...so far, at least...has actually been kind of tame compared to some of the things I pulled when...

Not going there.

Daniel moves a hand to my shoulder, squeezing a little in some subtle message before using me for leverage to get himself upright. I climb to my feet stiffly and look at him questioningly...

"Ready to go?"

He nods and starts toward the car, leaving me to wonder just how much got settled here....

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